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1
00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:09,360
[intro music]
2
00:00:09,440 --> 00:00:13,520
[Frank] Tickets this way
for the Chatsworth Express!
3
00:00:13,600 --> 00:00:18,560
Come and watch pikeys
making a mess of the lives they were given
4
00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:21,040
by him upstairs.
5
00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:24,360
And kids they're convinced
aren't actually theirs.
6
00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:30,840
What sounds on earth could ever replace
kids needing money or wives in your face?
7
00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:33,880
Cos this, people reckon, and me included,
8
00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:38,240
is why pubs and drugs
were kindly invented.
9
00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:42,920
To calm us all down
and stop us going mental.
10
00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:47,200
These are Chatsworth Estate's
basic essentials.
11
00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:51,360
We are worth every penny
for grinding your axes.
12
00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:55,840
You shit on our heads,
but you pay the taxes.
13
00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:02,720
Imagine a Britain
without Chatsworth buccaneers
14
00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:05,400
who'd come on your face
for the price of a beer.
15
00:01:05,480 --> 00:01:09,600
Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now!
16
00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:13,760
Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now!
17
00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:15,040
[laughing] [cough]
18
00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:17,320
Scatter!
19
00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:18,800
Party!
20
00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:26,080
[eerie music]
21
00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:31,760
[Frank] Forget your tracker mortgages
and your ISAs,
22
00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:34,720
your pension schemes,
saving for a rainy day,
23
00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:37,120
you know, planning for your old age.
24
00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:39,880
Chances are you'll be off
your fuckin' trolley anyway,
25
00:01:39,960 --> 00:01:41,960
brain ravaged by dementia.
26
00:01:42,040 --> 00:01:44,600
You'll have all that money in the bank
but won't be able to remember
27
00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:46,080
which fuckin' bank you put it in.
28
00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:47,600
And even if you did,
29
00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:51,480
some shitbag politician
will claw the lot back in taxes.
30
00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:54,960
So, enjoy the here and now,
31
00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:59,280
this day, this minute, this second.
32
00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:03,960
Carpe diem, I say.
33
00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:06,840
Well, not me, you know,
Seneca, to be precise.
34
00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:08,800
Seize the day.
35
00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:11,440
Well, some of it.
Obviously need to get some time out
36
00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:13,720
for a few scoops,
bit of shut-eye, bit of how's your pater,
37
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,920
but you get my drift, yeah?
38
00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:20,480
Drop 'em.
39
00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:25,320
I said, drop 'em.
40
00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:27,800
[James Bond theme]
41
00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:43,400
-[Jamie] Say my name!
-Oh!
42
00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:47,040
Oh! Seven... and a half!
43
00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:53,040
[gunshot]
44
00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:56,720
[James Bond theme]
45
00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:25,760
[Frank groans]
46
00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:32,200
-[mumbles]
-[Debbie] Oh, for God's sake!
47
00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:35,720
Just pay attention a minute,
we need to sort out Liam's trip tomorrow.
48
00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:36,880
Are you gonna come or not?
49
00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:38,720
There needs to be a parent present
and I don't want--
50
00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:42,720
Norm, have you got any thick sticky tape?
Only I want to strap this to me thigh.
51
00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:47,560
What's going on?
52
00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:52,720
Right, show it me!
53
00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:55,240
[Carl] Give it to me!
Pass it here, pass it here!
54
00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:56,520
Debbie!
55
00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:58,080
[Debbie] Dad, hide it!
56
00:03:58,160 --> 00:03:59,720
[all] No! Not the school gerbil!
57
00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:00,880
[indistinct shouting]
58
00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:04,200
[Debbie] Okay, okay!
59
00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:07,400
Look, I entered Liam into a competition,
and he's down to the last three.
60
00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:08,800
[microwave beeps]
61
00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:10,360
-Blackpool.
-Tomorrow.
62
00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:12,600
It's to be the face
of a nationwide ad campaign,
63
00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:15,600
but they do a few test shots,
see how he looks, make their decision.
64
00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:18,040
If he wins,
they do the shoot there and then.
65
00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:20,399
And how come I was the last to know?
66
00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:25,400
We didn't think you'd approve.
You know, exploitation of a minor an' all.
67
00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:29,560
Well, look what child stardom did
to the Artful Dodger from Oliver.
68
00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:32,440
You know,
and then there's poor Nicholas Lyndhurst.
69
00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:34,040
Well, he's not dead.
70
00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:35,720
Yeah, but have you seen
the fuckin' state of him?
71
00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:37,000
And I get paid if I win.
72
00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:44,560
So... what time do we leave?
73
00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:45,800
[Liam sighs]
74
00:04:49,840 --> 00:04:52,320
You're in sunny lbiza
and we're off to Blackpool!
75
00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:54,240
I know, yeah, gutted for you.
76
00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:56,600
You'll walk it, Liam, mate.
All the best, pal.
77
00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:57,520
[door opens]
78
00:04:57,600 --> 00:04:59,880
Stella's due a feed,
bottle's in the fridge.
79
00:04:59,960 --> 00:05:02,800
Now it's Liam's big day tomorrow,
so he needs an early night.
80
00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:05,920
You could do with one too,
you look like death warmed up.
81
00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:07,240
Bye, Monica!
82
00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:10,000
I want us all making a good impression!
83
00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:12,440
This could be
the start of something for Liam,
84
00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:15,680
chance of a future without minimum wage,
stamped all over it.
85
00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:17,720
[Ian] Hiya, Mum!
I can hear you a mile off.
86
00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:18,640
Ah!
87
00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:20,840
I meant to text ya!
88
00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:26,120
I know what those Mediterranean types
can be like, straight, gay or bi,
89
00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:28,320
I imagine they're all the same,
so use a condom.
90
00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:29,320
Out!
91
00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:32,320
And no matter how much they might try
and convince you otherwise,
92
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:33,960
don't swallow!
93
00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:36,560
[Liam] Can you catch an STD through oral?
94
00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:38,120
[James
eme]
95
00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:42,880
-[indistinct chatter]
-[music playing]
96
00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:50,800
[Jamie] All right, Lillian?
97
00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:57,200
You okay?
98
00:05:57,280 --> 00:05:59,080
Think it's just a bit of wind.
99
00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:06,440
I know it's gonna be a late one,
but if you stick to regulars only,
100
00:06:06,520 --> 00:06:09,040
and keep the music down,
we'll turn a blind eye.
101
00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:10,480
Nice one, Stan.
102
00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:17,640
[tapping]
She's got the hots for you there, Micky.
103
00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:20,920
Oh, not my type.
104
00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:23,920
It's got a fanny,
what more your type do you need?
105
00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:25,040
Go on, buy her a drink.
106
00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:27,480
-Aw...
-If he doesn't want to!
107
00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:29,200
Once he gets a little sniff of her,
108
00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:31,480
his brain'll switch off,
and his cock'll kick in.
109
00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:33,360
Guaranteed!
110
00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:35,000
[Kelly and Carl laugh]
111
00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:38,400
Mayday.
112
00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:40,240
-Eh?
-View To A Kill.
113
00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:43,920
-And you are...?
-Er, Micky.
114
00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:45,960
I mean, right, yeah...
115
00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:49,000
Daniel Craig, innit?
116
00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:50,800
Er... James...
117
00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:54,120
Casino!
118
00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:56,160
I need a slash.
119
00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:04,560
-Vast improvement, Frank.
-[mumbling] Fuck off!
120
00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:06,520
-I could do you for that.
-[mobile rings]
121
00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:09,040
-In your dreams.
-Evenin', all!
122
00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:12,600
-[Tom] Stan, Stan!
-Tom?
123
00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:16,040
[Tom] They've got me, the lock-ups,
back of Stansfield Road!
124
00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:18,960
5-7-0-5 to base, backup required!
125
00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:25,840
I was hoping that wasn't all padding.
126
00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:27,960
Oh, look, I'm sorry. I can't!
127
00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:29,800
I mean, I'd love to, but...
128
00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:31,960
me girlfriend's at home, pregnant,
you know what I mean,
129
00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:34,360
with triplets and that,
she's due any sec...fuck me!
130
00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:36,560
[giggles] You wait your turn.
131
00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:39,840
But how did you know I was...
you know, how could you tell I--?
132
00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:41,640
You were the only man in there,
other than me,
133
00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:44,840
who knew all the words
to "Diamonds Are Forever."
134
00:07:44,920 --> 00:07:47,840
Now... what's on offer?
135
00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:50,200
I'm packing eight.
136
00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:54,320
And we're talking lmperial, not metric,
if you get my [in pain] drift!
137
00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:55,880
[James Bond theme begins]
138
00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:06,400
[breathing nervously]
139
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:24,440
[suspenseful music]
140
00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:38,840
[shouting] Aargh!
141
00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:42,720
Oh, no, no! Fuck!
142
00:08:42,799 --> 00:08:45,680
[sobbing] Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck!
143
00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:47,840
Fuck! Fuck! [slamming]
144
00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:56,400
[chuckling]
145
00:08:57,880 --> 00:09:01,200
[panting] [giggling]
146
00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:05,280
-[indistinct chatter]
-[music playing]
147
00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:09,280
There's Pinky and Perky!
148
00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:11,760
-Your cozzy's spot on.
-Thank you.
149
00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:13,000
-Same again?
-Yeah.
150
00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:16,040
Give the lad a hand.
151
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:28,000
-I just wanted to see you again.
-Well, it isn't exactly the best place.
152
00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:31,760
Please, go! I'll call you.
153
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,240
What? What!
154
00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:37,760
I'd forgotten how nice
your smile was, that's all.
155
00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:39,320
[people laughing]
156
00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:40,520
[clapping]
157
00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:47,320
See you tomorrow, yeah?
And wear something casual.
158
00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:48,880
And don't forget to shave.
159
00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:54,080
Have a break.
I'll check on you when it settles.
160
00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:03,240
Sexiest women on the estate.
161
00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:09,640
I only made it to number 17?
162
00:10:09,720 --> 00:10:13,840
It's all down to points, apparently.
Face, tits, arse, legs.
163
00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:15,520
Yeah, my Kelly's got all of them.
164
00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:17,520
And what do you mark
the blokes out of, then?
165
00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:19,320
Personality, intelligence?
166
00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:23,080
Length, girth, stamina, if you must know.
167
00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:26,200
Which is the reason why
my little black book's so fuckin' empty.
168
00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:28,200
-[Kelly laughing]
-What's the S stand for?
169
00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:29,640
If I've shagged 'em.
170
00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:33,320
B for a blow job, W for a wank,
F for finger.
171
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:34,520
What's UTS, then?
172
00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:35,520
Up the shitter.
173
00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:37,280
Micky, look after the bar
for five minutes, will ya?
174
00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:38,680
I'm on a night out!
175
00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:40,240
Harry Potter?
176
00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:42,280
Cock off, Harry Potter!
177
00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:45,840
I'm Boris Grishenko, Goldeneye!
178
00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:47,560
Listen, no freebies and no credit.
179
00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:51,800
Leave 'em on. Put 'em on, they look good.
180
00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:02,040
[ominous music]
181
00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:04,720
[Jamie] Karen!
182
00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:11,720
Ambulance, quick!
183
00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:19,840
[indistinct chatter]
184
00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:24,200
Me and you, son,
we'll go in the ambulance.
185
00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:26,560
-I'll get the car, follow with the boys.
-What about this place?
186
00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:27,600
Leave it with me.
187
00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:36,520
[Carrie] No, no. Panic over, panic over.
188
00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:38,760
[Tom] Idiot, wasting our time.
189
00:11:38,840 --> 00:11:40,560
How'd you get to be this childish?
190
00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:43,320
Ask Stan, he started it.
191
00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:47,120
Salt in my tea, porn mags in my file.
[chuckling]
192
00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:49,360
You're lucky
I didn't leave you there all night!
193
00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:52,200
They pulled that unit from a near riot
in Ancoats for you.
194
00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:54,320
First thing you do,
go grovel to the Super.
195
00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:57,760
-Second, find Stan and apologize.
-He'll be fine.
196
00:11:57,840 --> 00:12:00,160
[chuckling] You know Stan,
he's probably watching us now,
197
00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:01,720
pissing himself laughing.
198
00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:24,760
[sighs] Bar person,
another three pints, on my tab.
199
00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:26,920
Cash only tonight, pal.
200
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:28,760
Worth a try.
201
00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:30,800
[puffing]
202
00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:33,160
Jesus, it's like a morgue in here!
203
00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:36,040
[music playing over the radio]
204
00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:39,480
[Frank] Oh, fuck me!
Bang on cue, Goldminger.
205
00:12:39,560 --> 00:12:41,200
Oh, you look great, Lillian.
206
00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:43,480
Must've taken a bit of time
to get all that together.
207
00:12:43,560 --> 00:12:46,680
[Lillian] No, I've had this for years.
Used to wear it for my Brendan.
208
00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:48,600
-[Monica] Oh?
-[Lillian] You know, Sunday nights, like.
209
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:50,760
[slam]
210
00:12:57,640 --> 00:12:58,800
[machines beeping]
211
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,320
-She'll be okay.
-I hope so.
212
00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:06,960
I didn't even know
you were trying for a baby.
213
00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:08,960
-We weren't.
-Course you weren't.
214
00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:13,160
No Maguire man tries for a baby.
I only had to hang my kecks on the bedpost
215
00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:17,160
and your mother was up the spout.
You'll all be the same.
216
00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:18,240
Well...
217
00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:24,360
Have you been to the toilet?
218
00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:26,240
-[Liam] Mhm.
-Good lad!
219
00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:28,560
[Frank] I'm all dressed up, you know?
220
00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:30,200
[Debbie]
No, come on! Where you going? Out!
221
00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:33,160
-What do you mean, "Where you going?"
-No, not that way! Out!
222
00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:35,360
[Frank] Bloody hell!
223
00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:39,960
We'll go via the A roads.
224
00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:42,040
[Frank] Fuck! That'll take forever.
225
00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:44,360
No, it'll be nice driving
round the countryside.
226
00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:47,560
[Frank] We've got three hours
to get to Blackpool,
227
00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:50,000
we're taking a longer route,
for what, aesthetics?
228
00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:51,280
[engine running]
229
00:13:52,160 --> 00:13:53,840
[Frank] Am I being ignored here?
230
00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:57,440
I'll take that as a yes.
231
00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:00,360
Guys!
232
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:01,800
[Stella cries]
233
00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:27,720
[pensive music]
234
00:14:32,880 --> 00:14:34,040
[tires screeching]
235
00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:38,040
Shit!
236
00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:49,600
[Paddy] Full Irish.
237
00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:50,760
White pudding, the lot.
238
00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:53,120
I don't wanna be eating
any of that hospital food,
239
00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:54,320
end up in a fuckin' coma.
240
00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:58,080
-Thanks, Mam.
-How is she?
241
00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:01,880
The doctor said
she should be discharged this morning.
242
00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:03,000
And she's okay?
243
00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:04,040
Yeah, she will be.
244
00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:09,400
[Paddy] Brings it all back.
245
00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:13,320
You lose a child,
your life's never the same.
246
00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:20,160
We'll wait for her,
bring her home together.
247
00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:23,280
Show her we care,
that the whole family's behind her.
248
00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:26,640
-She doesn't like much fuss, Mum.
-Or says she doesn't.
249
00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:28,880
But at a time like this.
250
00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:32,240
I tell you what might be
a better idea, Mam.
251
00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:33,880
How's about we go back
and get pub ready, eh?
252
00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:35,720
Your mother says we wait, we wait.
253
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:38,040
But Karen's not gonna wanna
come back to...
254
00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:41,920
Well, you know?
No-one's cleaned up yet, have they?
255
00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:46,080
You're right. We've got things to do.
256
00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:48,640
We'll make sure the flat's spick and span.
257
00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:51,320
[kiss] There won't be a pin out of place.
258
00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:01,160
[soft music]
259
00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:07,720
[grunting]
260
00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:11,880
God, you're still glowing
like you've had a fortnight in Chernobyl.
261
00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:14,200
Do you think we should flick it
with some Holy Water?
262
00:16:14,280 --> 00:16:17,040
You know, in case he's still there?
Give him a bit of a send-off?
263
00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:18,560
There's not gonna be much
of that here, is there?
264
00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:22,080
Could get some soda water or summat,
I'll give it a blessing.
265
00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:30,280
[Micky] Ugh! Aargh!
266
00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:34,200
You two all right?
267
00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:35,720
Fine, thanks.
268
00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:41,680
We got you one
with a mattress protector on it,
269
00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:47,000
so if you have any mishaps in future
you just give it a quick wipe, sorted.
270
00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:48,600
Sorry, mate.
271
00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:50,680
I...
272
00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:54,720
I know what it is
you're going through, mate.
273
00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:55,920
You reckon?
274
00:16:56,840 --> 00:16:58,960
Kelly had that phantom pregnancy,
remember?
275
00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:02,480
Felt like I'd been robbed.
276
00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:05,760
Beaten senseless and... robbed.
277
00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:09,040
And no one knows that pain, mate.
278
00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:11,520
Unless you've been there, that is.
279
00:17:13,079 --> 00:17:14,240
You should've said.
280
00:17:14,319 --> 00:17:17,160
-Not like you could've done owt, is it?
-[sighs] No.
281
00:17:19,119 --> 00:17:21,560
We could go out for a drink
sometime, couldn't we?
282
00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:24,319
-Head into town, maybe?
-Yeah.
283
00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:26,680
Yeah, that'd be good.
284
00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:07,000
[Jamie] What's with the fucking flowers?
285
00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:11,320
I know this couldn't have come
at a worse time.
286
00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:17,200
[Paddy]
The lad you left in charge last night...
287
00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:18,720
Joe?
288
00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:21,480
We checked the safe. It's empty.
289
00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:24,440
God knows how much of you
took over the bar last night.
290
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:27,720
I've not seen people knocking 'em
back like that in a long while.
291
00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:32,760
Straight to voicemail.
292
00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:34,080
[Mimi] Tried ringing Mandy.
293
00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:37,320
She's not answering.
Wait till I get my hands on her.
294
00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:44,840
You stupid, stupid bastard!
295
00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:48,040
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean for this to happen.
296
00:18:48,120 --> 00:18:50,640
-It was a joke!
-A joke?
297
00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:53,320
Led Stan to believe you'd been murdered
just to get one up on him?
298
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,080
I'm as disgusted as you are.
299
00:18:56,920 --> 00:18:59,040
I tried his mobile earlier,
he isn't picking up.
300
00:18:59,120 --> 00:19:01,240
Well, he might answer
when he sees it's me.
301
00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:03,640
-[mobile rings]
-[door opens and closes]
302
00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:04,800
[Yvonne] Stan?
303
00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:08,960
-[screams in panic]
-[Yvonne] No, It's okay!
304
00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:10,320
[Tom] I'm not dead!
305
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:12,440
-Stan, it was a joke!
-[Carrie] It was a wind-up!
306
00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:14,680
Where've you been?
We've all been worried sick.
307
00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:15,600
[gagging]
308
00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:23,680
-I think you'd better go.
-[Carrie] Call me, when he starts talking.
309
00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:26,800
[Tom] Stan? Mate, I'm sorry!
310
00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:41,240
-[Yvonne and kids cheering]
-Well played!
311
00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:42,760
[laughing]
312
00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:44,240
You two keep your mouths shut,
313
00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:46,520
and there'll be plenty more
where that came from.
314
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:51,000
-[Stan] Round one to us, I think!
-Thank you!
315
00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:52,640
[kiss]
316
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:54,880
[engine stops suddenly]
317
00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:04,360
Norma, we've got
less than two hours to get there!
318
00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:05,640
You think I don't know that?
319
00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:07,640
Well, call the breakdown services.
320
00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:09,400
My membership ran out a month ago.
321
00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:13,720
Well, look, let's pool our resources
and see how much we've got, eh?
322
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:14,760
We won't have enough.
323
00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:17,440
And even if we had the cash,
time's totally against us.
324
00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:19,600
-Great!
-Debbie!
325
00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:21,720
I'm sorry!
326
00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:27,160
Just imagine...
Liam's whole life could've changed,
327
00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:29,160
[snaps fingers] just like that.
328
00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:30,840
Happens, doesn't it?
329
00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:32,080
I said I'm sorry.
330
00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:36,080
His chance to escape... that place.
331
00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:38,000
Those people!
332
00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:39,720
We are those people.
333
00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:43,840
[smacks lips]
334
00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:50,240
[kid] Oh!
335
00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:53,200
[tense music]
336
00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:55,640
-It was a joke!
-[punch]
337
00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:18,000
There's plenty of time for kids.
338
00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:20,960
You're both young, healthy...
Plenty of time.
339
00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:23,920
Mam, I'm all right, honest.
340
00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:31,760
[mobile beeps]
341
00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:57,320
[Liam] Ah, yes!
342
00:21:57,400 --> 00:22:00,040
Hey, no smoking! Can't you read?
343
00:22:00,120 --> 00:22:02,880
Yeah, that's why
I don't work in a fuckin' café.
344
00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:03,960
[mouthing]
345
00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:06,960
[Frank] So what now, Einstein?
346
00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:09,280
We'll need a fucking miracle
to get there on time.
347
00:22:09,360 --> 00:22:10,800
[heavenly music]
348
00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:14,040
[heavenly choir chanting]
349
00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:31,880
[Frank and Norma arguing]
350
00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:52,360
[imitates driving]
351
00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:55,440
[engine starts]
352
00:22:56,480 --> 00:22:58,720
Norma! Norma, it's started!
353
00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:00,440
[Norma] All, come on!
354
00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:09,440
[Frank] Heh, heh!
Loaves into fishes! Water into wine!
355
00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:10,680
-[Monica] Wait!
-[tires screeching]
356
00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:12,200
-[Frank] Blind men can see!
-Wait!
357
00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:13,600
[Frank] City win the league!
-[Monica] Wait!
358
00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:15,280
Hurry up!
359
00:23:15,360 --> 00:23:16,840
For fuck's sake!
360
00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:28,080
[Monica gasps deeply] Oh, I'm shagged out!
361
00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:32,600
Hey, Blackpool,
here we fucking come, mate!
362
00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:52,240
The wailing wall's gone, thank fuck.
363
00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:55,040
I said your mam's gone.
364
00:23:55,720 --> 00:23:58,240
We need crisps,
cheese 'n' onion and cashews.
365
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:05,000
Jamie... cheese 'n' onion and cashews.
366
00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:07,840
-I'll get down the cellar.
-We're out.
367
00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:11,200
-Cash 'n' carry, then.
-No time.
368
00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:14,800
Nip round to Yvonne's
and see if she can sub us.
369
00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:20,600
You are all right about all this,
aren't ya?
370
00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:23,600
Yeah, fine.
371
00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:28,520
Wasn't like it was planned.
372
00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:31,680
If it had've been, I'd be gutted.
373
00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:34,520
We got things to do, places to see.
374
00:24:36,360 --> 00:24:39,040
It's gonna be a lot easier
doing that round-the-world trip
375
00:24:39,120 --> 00:24:41,240
without a nappy bag and a buggy, eh?
376
00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:46,640
I know I've never really talked about it,
but, well, kids,
377
00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:49,720
cards on the table, Jamie,
378
00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:52,520
I've never really wanted any.
379
00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:56,320
-You?
-[sniffs] No.
380
00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:02,040
-[kiss]
-Crisps, yeah?
381
00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:22,760
Thought I'd get this back to you
before you sent the sniffer dogs out.
382
00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:24,680
Got your messages.
383
00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:26,880
And the other eleven from my mother.
384
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:27,920
Nice to be trusted.
385
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:30,400
-Sorry, things've been, you know--
-No matter how they are,
386
00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:31,800
I'd never rob my own brother.
387
00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:34,760
I'm just glad to see the back of it.
I haven't slept all night.
388
00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:37,360
-And the till roll's in there.
-Nice one, Joe.
389
00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:40,760
-I'm sorry, Sis.
-Forgiven.
390
00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:43,360
Best phone Mum and Dad,
let them know you've surfaced.
391
00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:46,640
Listen, if you're not doing anything,
392
00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:48,480
I could do with a hand
getting this place ready for tonight.
393
00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:49,440
Sure.
394
00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:51,680
And cheers for last night, man,
you're a lifesaver.
395
00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:53,560
And I'm sorry too, mate.
396
00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:57,000
I don't really know what to say, but...
397
00:25:57,960 --> 00:25:59,760
A kid would've just cramped me style.
398
00:26:03,320 --> 00:26:05,960
-I said I'd give Jamie a hand.
-It'll have to wait.
399
00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:08,280
-We need to be somewhere.
-Where?
400
00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:19,520
Jamie and Karen should be here by now.
401
00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:23,480
Mandy's been in touch.
They're not up to it, God help them.
402
00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:26,040
Hit them hard. Knew it would.
403
00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:27,640
[Micky] Mam...
404
00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:28,640
Dad.
405
00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:34,560
This... is my girlfriend, Grace.
406
00:26:35,560 --> 00:26:38,720
-Grace Jones.
-Jones? You Welsh, then?
407
00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:41,520
Sorry for your loss.
408
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:43,440
Thanks. Would you like a drink?
409
00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:45,200
No. I'm all right, thanks.
410
00:26:47,920 --> 00:26:49,880
Seen the size of her feet?
411
00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:57,760
-I thought you said it were a miscarriage?
-[Micky] Oh, that? It's symbolic.
412
00:26:57,840 --> 00:26:59,360
Some bollocks more like.
413
00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:02,680
[Yvonne]
If you ask me, you've had a lucky escape.
414
00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:04,240
Me? I wouldn't be without mine,
415
00:27:04,320 --> 00:27:06,200
but parenthood isn't all
it's cracked up to be.
416
00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:09,640
Look at Angelina and Brad
tripping about with their brood in tow,
417
00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:11,600
make it look like a piece of piss.
418
00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:13,560
All flip-flops and cheesecloth.
419
00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:15,000
I'll get you a box back tomorrow.
420
00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:16,640
Hey, you can guarantee,
when they're at home,
421
00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:18,160
straight off to the nanny's.
422
00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:20,880
Angie and Brad feet up,
couple of cans, watching telly.
423
00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:24,080
Can you imagine her
changing a shitty nappy?
424
00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:25,080
Can you?
425
00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:28,080
With those nails,
she'd rip their arse to shreds!
426
00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:29,560
[store door opens]
427
00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:36,280
[melancholic music]
428
00:27:42,920 --> 00:27:43,920
[slamming]
429
00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:52,680
He used to be so full of life.
430
00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:55,240
Now, since Tom's...
431
00:27:56,080 --> 00:27:57,680
-Prank.
-Prank.
432
00:27:57,760 --> 00:28:01,240
It's like...
there's a light gone out in his eyes.
433
00:28:01,320 --> 00:28:03,080
[Meena] He's not half the man he was.
434
00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:04,960
[sighs] Don't overdo the tears.
435
00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:06,640
So how much are we making on this?
436
00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:09,960
While Stan's on full wages,
30 pounds a week each.
437
00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:12,280
If he gets compensation, a 10% cut.
438
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:15,600
Two-week, family holiday a year, Florida.
439
00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:17,720
-But--
-Not open to negotiation.
440
00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:19,640
And a Christmas bonus.
441
00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:22,360
-Yeah, but we don't do Christmas.
-Stan does.
442
00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:24,320
Anyway, if it all goes tits up,
443
00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:26,400
it'll be six months
in Strangeways for fraud.
444
00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:31,760
Sorry.
445
00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:38,000
Nine.
446
00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:42,360
[relaxed music playing]
447
00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:46,000
-What the fuck's that?
-[Shane] Pressie for the nipper.
448
00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:47,920
Manchester United?
449
00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:51,720
Fuck that!
450
00:28:57,080 --> 00:29:00,200
-[Shane] Celtic?
-Name me one football team from Belfast.
451
00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:11,280
What?
452
00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:21,160
I know it's mental, you know it's mental.
453
00:29:21,240 --> 00:29:23,080
Just go along with it for my sake, yeah?
454
00:29:34,600 --> 00:29:38,280
[Mimi] Named him after the patron saint
of unborn children, Saint Gerard.
455
00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:39,200
What, Stevie?
456
00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:41,960
Gerard Majella.
457
00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:47,440
Someone just told us in the pub.
458
00:29:47,520 --> 00:29:48,760
I didn't believe it.
459
00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:51,640
I don't know why I didn't believe it!
460
00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:53,600
-I thought you'd told them?
-How could I tell them?
461
00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:56,000
You knew about this?
462
00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:58,480
I just thought it'd be best
to get it out the way
463
00:29:58,560 --> 00:30:00,440
and hopefully you'd never find out.
464
00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:03,040
-You'd never know.
-Well, it's a bit late now, innit?
465
00:30:09,120 --> 00:30:10,600
Fuck right off.
466
00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:13,560
That's the grief talking.
467
00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:17,280
-Have you been sniffing your own produce?
-You're upset, but watch your mouth.
468
00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:19,560
You gonna let her talk to us like that?
469
00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:21,560
Are you gonna cancel
this fuckin' carnival?
470
00:30:21,640 --> 00:30:22,880
A child died.
471
00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:25,160
It wasn't at the stage
to be a boy or a girl, Dad!
472
00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:27,680
It was a boy.
A Maguire's first born is always a boy!
473
00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:31,520
I was three weeks late for my period.
For God's sake!
474
00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:34,960
This is warped.
475
00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:37,760
Gerard had a soul, and we're saving it.
476
00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:42,400
I should be fucking furious,
477
00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:45,200
but d'you know what? I'm not.
478
00:30:45,280 --> 00:30:47,520
Because I had a lucky escape.
479
00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:50,520
Imagine giving birth
to anything with their blood in it.
480
00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:53,320
You'll thank us come Judgement Day!
481
00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:55,880
No grandson of mine's
knocking about in purgatory.
482
00:30:55,960 --> 00:31:00,000
I want him at God's side
before the Devil knows he's dead!
483
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:03,720
I was gonna ask them, did they want
to put anything in the coffin?
484
00:31:03,800 --> 00:31:05,840
Did you put my pressie and letter in?
485
00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:25,640
I'm sorry, I can't
486
00:31:25,720 --> 00:31:28,720
-But I thought you liked me!
-I did... I do.
487
00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:32,880
But this? I never thought
I'd say this, but all this?
488
00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:35,320
It's just too fucking weird.
489
00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:37,040
[dramatic music]
490
00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:40,080
[Paddy] Micky!
491
00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:48,360
[upbeat music]
492
00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:49,760
[Norma] I love the seaside.
493
00:31:49,840 --> 00:31:52,240
There's something quintessentially British
about it, don't you think?
494
00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:54,960
[Liam] What's quintessential mean?
495
00:31:55,040 --> 00:31:56,120
[Frank] Crap!
496
00:31:56,200 --> 00:31:58,600
[Norma] No, I love it here.
497
00:31:58,680 --> 00:32:02,000
[Monica] It's got a certain charm,
but I prefer Lesbos.
498
00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:11,680
[woman] We're delighted you allowed Liam
to attend, truly delighted.
499
00:32:11,760 --> 00:32:15,240
-So, er, what are his chances?
-Good. Very good.
500
00:32:15,320 --> 00:32:17,600
In fact...
501
00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:19,200
he's the last of the boys
to be seen today,
502
00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:21,640
and, well, to be honest,
I think the best, facially.
503
00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:23,040
So, is it you who decides?
504
00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:25,680
-It's a joint decision.
-[Monica] And when will you make it?
505
00:32:25,760 --> 00:32:28,800
Well, we'll take a few test shots,
see how he looks, about half an hour?
506
00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:30,440
Oh, so he could win it?
507
00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:33,920
[woman] Well, it depends on how he reacts
in front of the camera, the pressure.
508
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:36,360
You know, a lot of boys
don't like that much attention.
509
00:32:36,440 --> 00:32:39,720
Oh, he loves it, loves being the centre
of attention, doesn't he, Frank?
510
00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:41,360
Yeah, a born performer.
511
00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:44,160
And a fantastic face!
Tells its own story, don't you think?
512
00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:46,080
[Monica giggles]
513
00:32:46,160 --> 00:32:48,200
[Yvonne] All right, Carl?
514
00:32:48,280 --> 00:32:50,240
-Seventy p, love.
-[coins clinking]
515
00:32:50,320 --> 00:32:53,480
[Carl] Sorry... You can keep the change.
516
00:32:54,880 --> 00:32:55,800
Five...
517
00:32:55,880 --> 00:32:58,320
-[Yvonne] What?
-Er, nothing.
518
00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:03,520
Cheeky bastards, the lot of them.
519
00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:06,480
-They're my family.
-That's worse.
520
00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:09,720
I don't want 'em in here, Jamie.
I don't want 'em anywhere near me.
521
00:33:09,800 --> 00:33:13,200
-Can't bar them, Karen.
-I can and I fucking will.
522
00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:15,840
Wait until you've calmed down
before you do anything, eh?
523
00:33:15,920 --> 00:33:18,320
You know, one thing guaranteed
to make my blood boil
524
00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:22,040
[yelling]
is being told to twatting calm down!
525
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:28,320
How many out of ten did you give Karen?
526
00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:32,200
Nine. She's fiery! She'd be a right goer.
527
00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:33,640
What did I get?
528
00:33:36,200 --> 00:33:37,720
I'm not in there?
529
00:33:49,320 --> 00:33:50,960
Eight out of ten.
530
00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:54,960
Five.
531
00:33:55,040 --> 00:33:57,880
But let's see
if we can improve on that, shall we?
532
00:34:03,400 --> 00:34:04,880
-[tense tone]
-Who the... ?
533
00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:09,280
Oh, since the girls on the estate
heard what you were doing...
534
00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:11,080
Six?
535
00:34:11,159 --> 00:34:12,960
[Carl] And Shane's got fuckin' seven?
536
00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:14,480
Me dad's got fuckin' five!
537
00:34:14,560 --> 00:34:17,120
-Whoa, we're losing altitude.
Six?
538
00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:29,960
[Frank] Liam, I want us to go
for a real sad look now, please.
539
00:34:30,040 --> 00:34:31,760
-[Norma] Sad. Look at the camera.
-[Frank] Like Norma.
540
00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:32,880
Shut up!
541
00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:35,239
[Norma]
Always witty, Frank. Always witty...
542
00:34:37,239 --> 00:34:41,960
So, um, [clears throat] if Liam's chosen,
he'll be the face of what exactly?
543
00:34:42,920 --> 00:34:45,440
A national campaign aimed at highlighting
544
00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:48,600
the misery of a small
but significant section of society.
545
00:34:48,679 --> 00:34:49,560
Who?
546
00:34:49,639 --> 00:34:51,000
Those without voices.
547
00:34:51,080 --> 00:34:52,080
Westlife?
548
00:34:52,159 --> 00:34:53,199
The invisible.
549
00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:55,199
Could you be a little more specific?
550
00:34:56,960 --> 00:35:02,160
If Liam is chosen, he'll be giving hope
to thousands, maybe even millions.
551
00:35:02,240 --> 00:35:05,320
The numbers of those suffering
are almost impossible to calculate.
552
00:35:05,400 --> 00:35:07,640
-Suffering what, exactly?
-Abuse.
553
00:35:08,480 --> 00:35:10,560
He'll be portraying an abused child.
554
00:35:11,360 --> 00:35:15,640
So, when you look at my son, Liam,
that is how you see him?
555
00:35:15,720 --> 00:35:17,920
-Not at all. I see--
-[Monica] A fantastic face,
556
00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:19,440
telling its own story!
557
00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:20,400
Monica!
558
00:35:20,480 --> 00:35:23,200
-I think there's been a misunderstanding.
-And what a story!
559
00:35:23,280 --> 00:35:26,400
Knocked about,
beaten by his unloving parents,
560
00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:28,400
neglected, without a voice, without hope.
561
00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:32,440
Does he look unhappy? Malnourished?
Knocked about? Does he?
562
00:35:32,520 --> 00:35:34,760
I think you're blowing this
out of all proportion.
563
00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:37,480
You want a face
for a national campaign about abuse?
564
00:35:37,560 --> 00:35:40,000
If you don't get out my fucking way,
you'll have one!
565
00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:45,720
Projecting abuse?
566
00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:48,160
He's never been smacked in his life!
567
00:35:48,240 --> 00:35:50,560
People don't take
that much notice of faces, Mon,
568
00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:52,480
it's the message that sinks in,
569
00:35:52,560 --> 00:35:56,480
and if Liam's face can help
that message get through, who knows?
570
00:35:57,320 --> 00:35:59,920
It could help to save
some poor kiddy's life.
571
00:36:01,760 --> 00:36:04,280
Not only that,
they said they'd up his fee to a grand.
572
00:36:05,120 --> 00:36:06,760
What? He's got the job?
573
00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:09,760
They've sent all the other lads home.
He's just what they're looking for,
574
00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:10,760
apparently.
575
00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:15,120
Oh, come on, let's just get
this thing done and get home, eh?
576
00:36:16,760 --> 00:36:18,200
[mimicry]
577
00:36:19,320 --> 00:36:20,160
[mimicry]
578
00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:24,480
-Cash!
-That's not possible.
579
00:36:24,560 --> 00:36:26,000
Liam, in the van!
580
00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:29,480
Where are we going to raise money
with such short notice?
581
00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:33,360
Ha! You've got cash cards,
credit cards, expense accounts.
582
00:36:35,120 --> 00:36:36,120
Cash.
583
00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:37,400
[Frank] Come on, Liam.
584
00:36:38,080 --> 00:36:38,920
Come on.
585
00:36:40,920 --> 00:36:43,360
The doctor said,
as far as Stan's concerned,
586
00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:46,080
he's locked in the moment
of discovering you hanging.
587
00:36:46,160 --> 00:36:47,280
So what's the next move?
588
00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:49,320
If I can get him to stop crying
for long enough,
589
00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:51,640
I might be able
to start talking him round,
590
00:36:51,720 --> 00:36:52,640
but until then...
591
00:36:53,680 --> 00:36:55,840
Tell him I'm really sorry, Yvonne.
592
00:36:57,000 --> 00:36:58,960
-I went too far.
-I will.
593
00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:00,200
When he's lucid.
594
00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:09,560
[door shuts]
595
00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:11,280
He could lose his job!
596
00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:14,280
That's his fault, not yours!
You could've had a piggin' heart attack.
597
00:37:15,240 --> 00:37:16,840
I like having you around.
598
00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:19,600
-Brew?
-My turn. You put your feet up.
599
00:37:25,560 --> 00:37:28,280
Okay, and again, please, Liam,
right this time,
600
00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:32,560
I want you to imagine your dad's a drunk,
an old junkie, okay?
601
00:37:32,640 --> 00:37:35,960
Your mum's run off with someone
and you haven't seen her for years,
602
00:37:36,040 --> 00:37:37,000
[camera shooting]
603
00:37:37,080 --> 00:37:39,760
it's just you and your sister
all alone at home.
604
00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:43,600
He's just not getting it.
605
00:37:43,680 --> 00:37:47,200
Liam, think of something really sad.
Like something terrible's happened.
606
00:37:48,320 --> 00:37:49,760
And a little less panto?
607
00:37:51,160 --> 00:37:52,080
[woman] Any advice?
608
00:37:52,160 --> 00:37:54,840
He's a happy soul, as he should.
He takes after me.
609
00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:56,960
Yeah, but if we don't get a shot
we can use--
610
00:38:06,960 --> 00:38:08,960
[woman]
Okay, looking this way please, Liam.
611
00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:12,120
That's it, it's brilliant!
612
00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:15,600
[Monica] What did you say?
613
00:38:16,320 --> 00:38:17,320
It worked, didn't it?
614
00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:21,320
Sorry about before.
615
00:38:21,920 --> 00:38:24,520
You know what me mam's like. You okay?
616
00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:26,960
I'm fine.
617
00:38:28,240 --> 00:38:29,120
I will be.
618
00:38:31,800 --> 00:38:33,240
It's just kids.
619
00:38:34,040 --> 00:38:34,920
I dunno.
620
00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:37,000
There's no law says you have to have 'em.
621
00:38:37,080 --> 00:38:38,160
That's just it.
622
00:38:38,800 --> 00:38:39,720
I don't...
623
00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:42,160
I don't know.
624
00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:44,360
Just not with Jamie.
625
00:38:46,920 --> 00:38:48,120
When I look at him,
626
00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:51,000
he doesn't say "Dad" to me.
627
00:38:52,240 --> 00:38:54,600
I shouldn't be telling you this.
You're his sister.
628
00:38:55,440 --> 00:38:58,120
He's a bloke. I'm your mate.
629
00:38:59,480 --> 00:39:01,600
I just don't know what I want any more.
630
00:39:03,720 --> 00:39:05,040
I just don't know.
631
00:39:13,800 --> 00:39:15,240
[woman] Well done, Liam.
632
00:39:15,840 --> 00:39:17,960
Even more,
if you can find a little bit more...
633
00:39:18,040 --> 00:39:20,680
-Look, can't you just?
-[woman] Frank, we're okay here.
634
00:39:20,760 --> 00:39:22,560
[Frank] No, just...
Can you just finish up?
635
00:39:22,640 --> 00:39:24,160
-[Frank] The lad's upset.
-Nearly there. Just let us get this shot.
636
00:39:24,240 --> 00:39:26,080
[Frank] No, no, I said leave it!
637
00:39:29,280 --> 00:39:30,680
I said, he's had enough!
638
00:39:30,760 --> 00:39:32,120
[Frank] Right? Fuck off!
639
00:39:32,200 --> 00:39:33,200
[camera shooting]
640
00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:39,080
[laughing with joy]
Great team we make, eh, son?
641
00:39:39,160 --> 00:39:42,240
Dad did his bit,
and got paid into the bargain.
642
00:40:32,880 --> 00:40:36,000
[Debbie] Norma, pull over!
I'll just nip in and get a bit of steak.
643
00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:47,560
[Monica] I don't really fancy cooking.
644
00:40:47,640 --> 00:40:49,360
No, but I'll cook and you can wash up.
645
00:40:49,440 --> 00:40:52,880
I fancy that even less so,
why don't we park and go for a meal?
646
00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:55,000
No, I thought it'd be nice
to have the family round the table.
647
00:40:55,080 --> 00:40:57,120
I know you think
we should put the cash aside,
648
00:40:57,200 --> 00:40:59,040
in case he wants
to go to Oxford or Cambridge,
649
00:40:59,120 --> 00:41:01,120
but 50 quid isn't gonna
put paid to that, is it?
650
00:41:01,200 --> 00:41:03,880
-That wasn't the deal.
-[Monica] Wasn't aware there was a deal.
651
00:41:03,960 --> 00:41:05,480
[Debbie] We decided, if he gets the job,
652
00:41:05,560 --> 00:41:07,320
he gets the money,
and spends it on what he wants.
653
00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:10,920
-How come I wasn't party to that?
-Cos you weren't there again!
654
00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:12,520
[Monica] Well, where was I?
655
00:41:12,600 --> 00:41:14,320
[Debbie] Pub, getting your nails done,
656
00:41:14,400 --> 00:41:16,320
getting your hair done,
getting your bits waxed?
657
00:41:16,400 --> 00:41:18,440
-[Monica] You're not his mother, Debbie.
-And you are?
658
00:41:18,520 --> 00:41:21,040
Oh, stop it, there's no need!
659
00:41:26,920 --> 00:41:28,520
[Monica] Well, come on!
660
00:41:29,760 --> 00:41:31,360
Pizza?
661
00:41:31,440 --> 00:41:33,560
You could get that Wii box
you've had your eye on.
662
00:41:33,640 --> 00:41:37,000
That PlayStation, that Xbox,
you can get all three if you like.
663
00:41:46,560 --> 00:41:48,200
Well, don't wait up.
664
00:41:49,400 --> 00:41:50,760
[mouthing]
665
00:41:50,840 --> 00:41:54,280
[Frank] Carpe diem! Seize the day.
666
00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:55,640
Enjoy it while you can.
667
00:41:55,720 --> 00:41:58,880
But... be careful.
668
00:41:58,960 --> 00:42:01,920
Because, as a truly great poet once said:
669
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:04,680
"You don't know what you got
till it's gone.
670
00:42:05,920 --> 00:42:08,000
And as we all know,
671
00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:12,440
once it's gone,
there's no getting it back,
672
00:42:12,520 --> 00:42:14,520
even if you wanted to."
673
00:42:17,880 --> 00:42:20,200
[children playing in distance]
674
00:42:24,840 --> 00:42:26,160
Frank!
675
00:42:29,200 --> 00:42:30,960
-Yeah!
-[grunts]
676
00:42:31,040 --> 00:42:32,960
[falls to the ground]
677
00:42:33,040 --> 00:42:34,560
Bernard White. Benefits officer.
678
00:42:34,640 --> 00:42:36,080
Strangeways, here we come.
679
00:42:36,160 --> 00:42:39,040
What the hell's the benefits officer doing
in Debbie's bed?
680
00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:40,880
Ideally, waking up to a new life.
681
00:42:40,960 --> 00:42:42,280
-Maureen?
-Patrick.
682
00:42:42,360 --> 00:42:43,640
Now, c'mon, you can untie me now.
683
00:42:43,720 --> 00:42:45,760
This is not what it looks like.
684
00:42:45,840 --> 00:42:48,080
-Let's fuck 'em up then.
-Yeah!
685
00:42:48,160 --> 00:42:49,680
-You're shit.
-You're shit.
686
00:42:50,720 --> 00:42:53,160
-The fuck you staring at?
-Could ask you the same question.
687
00:42:53,240 --> 00:42:55,520
-The Irish love singing, don't they?
-How the fuck should I know?
688
00:42:55,600 --> 00:42:57,400
[shouting]
What did I say to you about language?
689
00:42:57,480 --> 00:42:58,360
He's trying to kill me.
690
00:42:58,440 --> 00:43:02,600
Fuck's sake, Micky. I don't give a shit!
Just wish you were better at football.
691
00:43:02,680 --> 00:43:04,480
[theme music playing]
692
00:43:42,240 --> 00:43:43,960
[James Bond theme begins]
693
00:43:45,440 --> 00:43:46,360
[gunfire]
694
00:44:12,920 --> 00:44:13,760
[slap]
695
00:44:15,520 --> 00:44:16,600
[shouts] Ah!
696
00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:17,800
[James Bond theme ends]
52243
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