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Cheers is filmed before
a live studio audience.
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Here's something about
a show of impressionists
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00:00:07,424 --> 00:00:08,925
coming to Boston this fall.
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00:00:08,925 --> 00:00:10,343
Well, why wait?
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I do one that'll knock your socks off.
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He's talkin' about
French painters, doofus.
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Yeah? Well, so am I.
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Yeah, I do a great Cezanne.
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Get outta here. No, I do. Watch this.
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(French accent): Hosey,
posey, life is perfect.
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00:00:23,773 --> 00:00:25,859
(as John Wayne): Hey, ya better smile
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when ya say that, Pilgrim.
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(as James Stewart): Now, now, now, now,
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just a-just a darned
second there, young fella.
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(all chuckling)
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Okay, okay, I got one. Watch this.
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(with country accent): Hey, fellers.
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I believe we might be
in for just a little rain
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before this day's over.
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Woody, who is that?
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It's Dwight Womack,
mayor of Hanover, Indiana.
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No, Woody, Woody, when
you do impressions,
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you gotta do impressions
of famous people.
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Well, if I could do somebody famous,
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why would I be doin' Dwight Womack?
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Yeah, good point.
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Yeah, he's got a point.
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(piano plays)
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? Making your way in the world today ?
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? Takes everything you've got ?
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? Taking a break from all your worries ?
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? Sure would help a lot ?
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? Wouldn't you like to get away? ?
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? Sometimes you want to go ?
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? Where everybody knows your name ?
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? And they're always glad you came ?
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? You want to be where you can see ?
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? Our troubles are all the same ?
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? You want to be where
everybody knows your name ?
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? You want to go where people know ?
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? People are all the same ?
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? You want to go where
everybody knows your name. ?
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Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
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Hey, everybody.
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(all calling out greetings)
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Sam?
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00:02:28,264 --> 00:02:31,568
This is our first time
back in Cheers since,
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you know, yesterday.
49
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Don't you think we should
announce our engagement?
50
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Oh. All right. Okay.
51
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Go ahead. Go ahead.
52
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Oh, no, no, you do it.
53
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You're the man.
54
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All right, listen up, everybody.
55
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I have an announcement to make here.
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Uh, Diane and I decided to...
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Oh, Sam, (clears throat)
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what are you going to say?
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Well, I was just going to tell them...
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(speaks softly)
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I see.
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SAM: Well, what do you want me to say?
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(Diane whispering)
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Oh, come on, Diane, nobody
knows who the Lunts are.
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00:03:03,766 --> 00:03:06,052
Due to our desire
to be-- what?
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Conjoined. Conjoined, uh...
67
00:03:09,055 --> 00:03:11,057
hey, well, Diane and I, uh,
68
00:03:11,057 --> 00:03:13,560
would like you to, uh, celebrate with us
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by, uh, toasting our nuptials.
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Ouch.
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00:03:16,946 --> 00:03:20,233
No, no, Woody, it's, uh...
72
00:03:22,569 --> 00:03:26,072
What Sam so eloquently
expressed was that he and I
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have officially become
engaged to be married.
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00:03:29,576 --> 00:03:32,045
(cheering and applause)
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How about that Al, huh?
76
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CLIFF: Oh, marriage, Sam.
77
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I thought you'd said
you'd never marry Diane.
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00:03:38,501 --> 00:03:42,005
Well, I-I never, uh, said that exactly.
79
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No, no, I think the exact
words were "I'd rather have
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00:03:43,923 --> 00:03:45,925
every hair on my body
pulled out simultaneously."
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00:03:47,927 --> 00:03:50,930
Well, that-that's just an expression.
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I mean...
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No, seriously, you know,
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we all knew it was going
to happen sooner or later.
85
00:03:56,436 --> 00:03:58,438
I just thought I'd get it over with.
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Well, Diane, Sam,
congratulations to both of you.
87
00:04:00,356 --> 00:04:01,858
Diane, I hope you're planning
88
00:04:01,858 --> 00:04:03,860
to stay for the entire
ceremony this time.
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00:04:03,860 --> 00:04:04,744
Ours was... (laughs)
90
00:04:05,578 --> 00:04:09,449
Ours was very touching, I thought.
91
00:04:09,449 --> 00:04:11,834
Well, another one bites
the matrimonial dust.
92
00:04:11,834 --> 00:04:13,336
I guess that leaves only one stud
93
00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:15,204
to satisfy all the babes in this bar.
94
00:04:15,204 --> 00:04:18,091
Yeah, I can handle it, too.
95
00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:21,594
Hi.
96
00:04:21,594 --> 00:04:24,097
I bet you never thought
you'd see the day, huh?
97
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:25,098
Nice shirt, Sam.
98
00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:27,100
Is it new?
99
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,968
No, it's not. It, uh...
100
00:04:28,968 --> 00:04:30,803
Did you hear what I said up there
101
00:04:30,803 --> 00:04:33,189
about me and Diane getting engaged?
102
00:04:33,189 --> 00:04:34,440
The beer distributor called.
103
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He wants to know if he can change
104
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:37,694
the delivery day to Wednesday.
105
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Carla,
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I know that we haven't
always seen eye-to-eye,
107
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but you could at least wish us well.
108
00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:49,739
I need a draft.
109
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Fascinating.
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She's experiencing denial.
111
00:04:54,877 --> 00:04:56,879
What's that mean, Dr. Crane?
112
00:04:56,879 --> 00:05:00,383
Well, simply put, it
means that the human mind
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blocks out that which it
cannot emotionally accept.
114
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What's that mean, Dr. Crane?
115
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It means that you don't understand this,
116
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and you never will.
117
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Oh.
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I think perhaps I should get
personally involved in this.
119
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After all, Carla is a good friend.
120
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I think I could help her
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alleviate her suffering.
122
00:05:26,859 --> 00:05:30,163
Besides, there's nothing good on TV.
123
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So I don't see any ring here.
124
00:05:32,115 --> 00:05:33,116
What gives, you guys, huh?
125
00:05:33,116 --> 00:05:36,119
Well, we're doing a little
window shopping. Yeah?
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But she's got her eye
on a big ol' diamond
127
00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:40,006
in the window of, uh,
Barton and Lyles. Yeah?
128
00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:42,008
Oh, no, no, Sam.
129
00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:44,510
Now that's much too expensive.
130
00:05:44,510 --> 00:05:46,512
I would be content with any one
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00:05:46,512 --> 00:05:49,382
of the smaller stones we saw today.
132
00:05:49,382 --> 00:05:50,383
Oh, now wait a second.
133
00:05:50,383 --> 00:05:52,101
Hey, Woody, give me the
phone there, will ya?
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Listen, you might as
well have the best ring.
135
00:05:54,554 --> 00:05:56,055
You got the best husband.
136
00:05:56,055 --> 00:05:57,557
Hmm?
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00:05:57,557 --> 00:06:00,059
Is it any wonder I love you?
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00:06:00,059 --> 00:06:01,060
I'm twice blessed.
139
00:06:01,060 --> 00:06:03,062
I'm getting the most wonderful guy
140
00:06:03,062 --> 00:06:07,066
and one helluva rock.
141
00:06:09,902 --> 00:06:11,904
Yeah, let me, uh, let me find out
142
00:06:11,904 --> 00:06:13,906
just how much this thing is here.
143
00:06:13,906 --> 00:06:16,909
Yeah, find out there, Sammy.
144
00:06:16,909 --> 00:06:19,879
Hi, uh, you got a ring in
the window there by the door?
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It's a big diamond
146
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with two little diamonds
on either side there.
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Yeah, uh, that's the one.
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00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:26,386
Yeah, how-how much does that cost?
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(laughs)
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00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:32,759
How much?
151
00:06:32,759 --> 00:06:35,228
Fifty-two hundred.
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00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:36,596
(all laughing)
153
00:06:36,596 --> 00:06:38,231
Boy, what am I going to do here?
154
00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:40,483
Bruce. What?
155
00:06:40,483 --> 00:06:41,934
Friend of mine in the jewelry business.
156
00:06:41,934 --> 00:06:44,270
He buys diamonds and gold wholesale
157
00:06:44,270 --> 00:06:45,738
and then you don't
have to pay the markup,
158
00:06:45,738 --> 00:06:47,106
which is like a zillion percent.
159
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Oh, you know, that-that's
kinda silly. No, no.
160
00:06:48,858 --> 00:06:50,610
It's the same gold, same diamonds.
161
00:06:51,861 --> 00:06:53,863
Well, if it's the same
ring, it's the same ring.
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00:06:53,863 --> 00:06:54,864
Absolutely.
163
00:06:54,864 --> 00:06:56,365
Give me the phone. All right.
164
00:06:56,365 --> 00:06:58,618
Yeah, I'll call the
guy. Yeah, do it, do it.
165
00:06:58,618 --> 00:07:00,837
Uh, Sam, I don't think
that's a good idea.
166
00:07:00,837 --> 00:07:02,622
Why not?
167
00:07:02,622 --> 00:07:04,624
Diane's not the kind of
woman who'd like to find out
168
00:07:04,624 --> 00:07:06,125
that her ring was bought from a jeweler
169
00:07:06,125 --> 00:07:09,128
who begins every transaction
with, "Psst, buddy."
170
00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:12,098
Oh, no, you make...
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00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:14,100
you're makin' it sound worse than it is.
172
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:16,352
I mean, I'm sure everything's legit.
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All right, fine, Bruce. Great.
174
00:07:18,187 --> 00:07:20,189
Psst, Sammy, come here.
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00:07:27,647 --> 00:07:29,649
Dee-daa. Huh?
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00:07:29,649 --> 00:07:32,151
Not bad for 1,200 bucks, huh?
177
00:07:32,151 --> 00:07:33,653
WOODY: Wow, I'll say.
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00:07:33,653 --> 00:07:35,121
Hey, Carla, you, uh, see the ring
179
00:07:35,621 --> 00:07:36,622
that Sammy got for Diane here?
180
00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:38,124
You know, I'm thinking
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00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:40,126
about having my house texture-coated.
182
00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:43,129
You have your choice
of 24 decorator colors.
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00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:44,380
Amazing.
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00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:47,166
Yeah, and surprisingly reasonable.
185
00:07:47,166 --> 00:07:48,167
SAM: Hey, hey, hey.
186
00:07:48,167 --> 00:07:50,169
Hey, you guys, you
want to see a classic?
187
00:07:50,169 --> 00:07:51,170
Here, watch.
188
00:07:52,171 --> 00:07:54,173
Hi, Diane. Hi, Sam.
189
00:07:54,173 --> 00:07:55,174
Oh boy, hey, you know,
190
00:07:55,174 --> 00:07:57,176
that finger looks a little warm there.
191
00:07:57,176 --> 00:07:59,562
Maybe you should cool
it down with some ice.
192
00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:01,013
(gasps): Sam.
193
00:08:01,013 --> 00:08:03,483
What? What? What's the
matter? What's wrong?
194
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:04,484
Nothing.
195
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:06,352
It's beautiful.
196
00:08:06,352 --> 00:08:08,237
Oh. Oh.
197
00:08:08,738 --> 00:08:10,740
Just think, hours ago,
198
00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:14,243
I was admiring this
magnificent ring in the window,
199
00:08:14,243 --> 00:08:18,247
thinking it was an
unattainable treasure.
200
00:08:18,247 --> 00:08:21,617
And now, here it is on my finger.
201
00:08:21,617 --> 00:08:22,952
Yep, there it is, all right.
202
00:08:22,952 --> 00:08:23,953
That's the one.
203
00:08:23,953 --> 00:08:25,338
How about that, huh?
204
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:26,839
Oh, thank you, thank you.
205
00:08:26,839 --> 00:08:27,840
Well, yeah... (chuckling)
206
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:29,342
Thank you. Yeah.
207
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:31,344
You're welcome.
208
00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:33,346
NORM: Hey, uh, Carla, do you realize
209
00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:35,298
that when Sammy and Diane get married,
210
00:08:35,298 --> 00:08:36,799
uh, Diane's going to be your boss?
211
00:08:36,799 --> 00:08:39,802
Nice shirt, Norm. Is it new?
212
00:08:41,437 --> 00:08:44,223
Sam...
213
00:08:44,223 --> 00:08:48,728
I felt that I couldn't
possibly ask you for this,
214
00:08:48,728 --> 00:08:51,731
but now that you've actually gone out
215
00:08:51,731 --> 00:08:54,233
and purchased it, I can tell you.
216
00:08:54,233 --> 00:08:56,736
This is the only ring I ever wanted.
217
00:08:56,736 --> 00:08:58,237
Mmm.
218
00:08:59,238 --> 00:09:00,740
Where's the box?
219
00:09:00,740 --> 00:09:02,742
Box?
220
00:09:02,742 --> 00:09:05,127
Yeah, you know, the one it came in.
221
00:09:05,127 --> 00:09:05,962
Oh, yeah, uh...
222
00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:07,463
this, this one didn't seem to come
223
00:09:07,463 --> 00:09:08,464
with one of those, did it?
224
00:09:13,970 --> 00:09:14,837
Really?
225
00:09:14,837 --> 00:09:17,173
Oh, I'm surprised they
didn't give you one,
226
00:09:17,173 --> 00:09:20,176
especially considering how
much this must have cost.
227
00:09:20,676 --> 00:09:21,677
Oh, well, they did, they did.
228
00:09:21,677 --> 00:09:23,179
It's just that I told
them, uh, keep the box.
229
00:09:23,179 --> 00:09:24,680
She'll just wear it.
230
00:09:27,183 --> 00:09:29,185
That's what I said, all right.
231
00:09:29,685 --> 00:09:30,570
(weak chuckle)
232
00:09:31,737 --> 00:09:33,689
Sam?
233
00:09:33,689 --> 00:09:34,574
Yeah.
234
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:37,193
This may sound frivolous,
235
00:09:37,193 --> 00:09:39,028
but every woman wants to keep the box
236
00:09:39,028 --> 00:09:41,530
that her engagement ring came in.
237
00:09:41,530 --> 00:09:45,284
I already have a space reserved
for it in my memento drawer,
238
00:09:45,284 --> 00:09:48,087
right between my French
Club pin and my retainer.
239
00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:52,091
All right, all right.
240
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:53,593
I mean, fine, honey,
241
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,595
I'll just, uh, go on,
242
00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:58,097
go back, and, uh... I'll get the box.
243
00:09:58,097 --> 00:09:59,599
CLIFF: Uh, don't forget
your receipt there, Sammy.
244
00:10:00,967 --> 00:10:03,719
Ah, they'll probably remember your face.
245
00:10:16,849 --> 00:10:19,352
You can relax, everybody.
246
00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:20,353
Got the box.
247
00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:21,354
NORM: All right, Sammy.
248
00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:22,855
They just, uh, gave it to ya, huh?
249
00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:24,357
No, no, I had to buy something.
250
00:10:24,357 --> 00:10:25,358
Oh, yeah?
251
00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:26,359
Wha, wha, what'd you get?
252
00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:28,744
Sterling silver corncob holders.
253
00:10:30,496 --> 00:10:31,497
290 bucks.
254
00:10:31,497 --> 00:10:32,865
Do you believe that?
255
00:10:32,865 --> 00:10:34,200
Wow. Why'd you buy those things?
256
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:37,086
Well, everything else
seemed like such a rip-off.
257
00:10:38,921 --> 00:10:40,423
I'm still way ahead, though. It's okay.
258
00:10:40,423 --> 00:10:42,425
Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure.
259
00:10:42,425 --> 00:10:43,926
Think about it.
260
00:10:43,926 --> 00:10:45,795
Oh, Sam, there you are.
261
00:10:45,795 --> 00:10:47,046
Yeah, and here you
are, my little darling.
262
00:10:47,046 --> 00:10:48,547
One ring box, just your size.
263
00:10:48,547 --> 00:10:49,548
How 'bout that, huh?
264
00:10:49,548 --> 00:10:50,049
You happy?
265
00:10:50,049 --> 00:10:51,550
Delirious.
266
00:10:51,550 --> 00:10:52,051
Oh, good.
267
00:10:52,051 --> 00:10:54,053
I just wish I'd gone with you
268
00:10:54,053 --> 00:10:55,554
when you went back to Barton and Lyles.
269
00:10:55,554 --> 00:10:58,057
I want to buy myself that dress.
270
00:10:58,057 --> 00:10:59,558
Oh, which dress is that?
271
00:10:59,558 --> 00:11:02,561
The one in the window.
272
00:11:02,561 --> 00:11:04,563
Right next door in Justine's window.
273
00:11:04,563 --> 00:11:05,564
Don't you remember?
274
00:11:05,564 --> 00:11:07,066
I was admiring it as we walked by.
275
00:11:07,066 --> 00:11:09,068
Oh, sure, sure, sure, yeah.
276
00:11:09,068 --> 00:11:10,069
Yeah... oh, it's perfect.
277
00:11:10,069 --> 00:11:11,070
I'd love it.
278
00:11:11,070 --> 00:11:13,072
Well, you know, it's kinda slack now.
279
00:11:13,072 --> 00:11:14,073
Why don't ya take off?
280
00:11:14,073 --> 00:11:14,573
Do a little shopping.
281
00:11:14,573 --> 00:11:17,076
Really? Yeah, go ahead.
282
00:11:17,076 --> 00:11:19,078
Oh, Sam. Uh.
283
00:11:19,078 --> 00:11:20,579
I'll get my purse.
284
00:11:20,579 --> 00:11:22,081
All right.
285
00:11:22,081 --> 00:11:22,581
So, uh, Sammy...
286
00:11:23,082 --> 00:11:24,083
when Diane sees the ring
287
00:11:24,083 --> 00:11:26,085
in the window of the fancy store
288
00:11:26,085 --> 00:11:27,086
and also on her finger,
289
00:11:27,086 --> 00:11:28,587
what do you think she'll say?
290
00:11:29,972 --> 00:11:31,173
Well, I'm off.
291
00:11:31,173 --> 00:11:34,143
Uh, no, Diane, uh, wait a second here.
292
00:11:34,143 --> 00:11:35,144
Uh, I can't...
293
00:11:35,144 --> 00:11:37,646
I can't let you go through with this.
294
00:11:37,646 --> 00:11:38,147
What?
295
00:11:38,147 --> 00:11:40,649
Well, uh, I, I bought
296
00:11:40,649 --> 00:11:42,651
that dress for ya.
297
00:11:42,651 --> 00:11:46,072
Sam Malone...
298
00:11:46,072 --> 00:11:47,073
Yeah.
299
00:11:47,073 --> 00:11:48,574
I don't believe you.
300
00:11:48,574 --> 00:11:49,575
No, it's a fact.
301
00:11:49,575 --> 00:11:50,576
It's in my car right up there.
302
00:11:50,576 --> 00:11:52,578
Oh, you scamp.
303
00:11:52,578 --> 00:11:53,446
Oh, go get it, please.
304
00:11:53,446 --> 00:11:54,914
Uh, you know, I...
305
00:11:54,914 --> 00:11:57,416
I was kinda hopin' to
surprise you with it.
306
00:11:57,416 --> 00:12:00,419
Well, I already know about it now.
307
00:12:00,419 --> 00:12:01,420
Right.
308
00:12:01,420 --> 00:12:03,422
What am I standin' here for then, huh?
309
00:12:03,422 --> 00:12:04,423
(laughing)
310
00:12:04,423 --> 00:12:05,424
Oh...
311
00:12:05,424 --> 00:12:06,425
Say, you know, that's, uh...
312
00:12:07,927 --> 00:12:10,429
that was such an interesting dress.
313
00:12:10,429 --> 00:12:11,931
How would you describe that color?
314
00:12:11,931 --> 00:12:12,932
Pink.
315
00:12:12,932 --> 00:12:14,934
Pink! Right.
316
00:12:14,934 --> 00:12:16,302
You always know the perfect word.
317
00:12:16,302 --> 00:12:17,219
Pink.
318
00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:19,472
Who woulda thought?
319
00:12:26,529 --> 00:12:28,531
I wonder what's keeping Sam.
320
00:12:28,531 --> 00:12:30,533
He's certainly been gone a long time.
321
00:12:30,533 --> 00:12:32,284
Where is Sam?
322
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:36,622
"Where is Sam?"
323
00:12:36,622 --> 00:12:40,126
(quietly): I think she's starting
to relate to her environment again.
324
00:12:40,126 --> 00:12:42,077
FRASIER: Well, I think
we've made great progress.
325
00:12:42,077 --> 00:12:43,462
Carla,
326
00:12:43,462 --> 00:12:45,080
can you tell me who Sam is?
327
00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:47,249
Of course. He's my boss.
328
00:12:47,249 --> 00:12:50,052
Did you know that he is
now engaged to be married?
329
00:12:50,052 --> 00:12:52,004
Yes. I'm very happy for him.
330
00:12:52,004 --> 00:12:54,390
See how well we've done?
331
00:12:54,390 --> 00:12:56,892
Carla...
332
00:12:56,892 --> 00:13:01,764
who is the charming soul
that has agreed to marry him?
333
00:13:01,764 --> 00:13:03,149
Norm.
334
00:13:05,100 --> 00:13:08,604
Well, I'm not the miracle worker.
335
00:13:11,106 --> 00:13:13,108
Here we go.
336
00:13:14,610 --> 00:13:18,030
The one you wanted and, uh, three more.
337
00:13:18,030 --> 00:13:19,031
Oh, Sam!
338
00:13:19,031 --> 00:13:20,032
What?
339
00:13:20,032 --> 00:13:23,035
You impetuous fool. Oh, I love them.
340
00:13:23,035 --> 00:13:25,037
(chuckling): Oh. Oh, thank you.
341
00:13:25,037 --> 00:13:26,922
Uh-huh. Wait a minute.
342
00:13:26,922 --> 00:13:28,707
You were gone an awfully long time.
343
00:13:28,707 --> 00:13:30,593
I thought you were
just going to your car.
344
00:13:30,593 --> 00:13:33,045
Well, I got a-a parking ticket,
345
00:13:33,546 --> 00:13:36,432
and I, uh, I wanted
to fight it in court.
346
00:13:41,103 --> 00:13:43,856
Do I, uh, detect a snafu there, Sammy?
347
00:13:43,856 --> 00:13:46,525
Every damn dress in the window was pink.
348
00:13:46,525 --> 00:13:49,862
Oh, boy, that must have,
uh, cost you a pretty penny.
349
00:13:49,862 --> 00:13:50,863
That's all right.
350
00:13:50,863 --> 00:13:52,364
I'll get some of it back.
351
00:13:52,364 --> 00:13:54,233
She couldn't possibly
like all four of them.
352
00:13:54,233 --> 00:13:56,569
Oh, Sam, I love all of them.
353
00:13:58,237 --> 00:14:00,406
I can't decide which one
to wear tonight to dinner.
354
00:14:00,406 --> 00:14:02,374
Oh, go... oh, boy, uh, right.
355
00:14:02,374 --> 00:14:04,743
What did we say, uh, 7:00?
356
00:14:04,743 --> 00:14:06,662
Oh, could we make it a little later?
357
00:14:06,662 --> 00:14:09,665
I have to stop by the store
to get the ring appraised.
358
00:14:09,665 --> 00:14:11,550
Pardon me?
359
00:14:11,550 --> 00:14:14,553
The insurance man said
360
00:14:14,553 --> 00:14:17,056
that there has to be
an appraisal on file
361
00:14:17,056 --> 00:14:22,061
in order to have this
covered in my theft policy.
362
00:14:22,061 --> 00:14:25,564
Boy, they, uh... they
don't make it easy, do they?
363
00:14:27,433 --> 00:14:28,267
Uh, I'll tell you what.
364
00:14:28,267 --> 00:14:29,768
Why don't you, uh, let me handle that?
365
00:14:29,768 --> 00:14:30,769
I'll have it appraised.
366
00:14:30,769 --> 00:14:32,771
Uh, why... yeah, why
don't you give me the ring?
367
00:14:32,771 --> 00:14:34,273
Oh, no, Sam!
368
00:14:34,273 --> 00:14:37,276
Just as our love is
forever, so is this ring.
369
00:14:37,276 --> 00:14:38,777
From here on out,
370
00:14:38,777 --> 00:14:40,663
it will never leave my finger.
371
00:14:40,663 --> 00:14:42,781
Beautiful.
372
00:14:42,781 --> 00:14:44,583
That's really beautiful.
373
00:14:44,583 --> 00:14:47,586
Woody, you want to get
me some aspirin there?
374
00:14:48,587 --> 00:14:50,456
Sam, I think this has gone too far.
375
00:14:50,456 --> 00:14:52,791
You're caught in a quagmire of deceit.
376
00:14:52,791 --> 00:14:54,793
You're just going to
sink deeper and deeper,
377
00:14:54,793 --> 00:14:55,794
and to what avail?
378
00:14:55,794 --> 00:14:57,796
To my butt's avail.
379
00:15:00,799 --> 00:15:01,800
Yeah, maybe you're right.
380
00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:02,801
Maybe I should just...
381
00:15:02,801 --> 00:15:04,803
bite the bullet and be honest with her.
382
00:15:04,803 --> 00:15:07,806
I mean, I really want
this relationship to work.
383
00:15:07,806 --> 00:15:09,191
We do, too, Sammy.
384
00:15:10,893 --> 00:15:13,145
Uh, Diane?
385
00:15:13,145 --> 00:15:15,147
Yes.
386
00:15:15,147 --> 00:15:16,615
I, uh, I have something
I want to say to you.
387
00:15:16,615 --> 00:15:18,617
Uh, I'm afraid you're
not going to like it.
388
00:15:19,118 --> 00:15:21,120
After receiving this...
389
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:24,123
beautiful symbol of
our relationship--
390
00:15:24,123 --> 00:15:26,625
a symbol that has
touched me very deeply--
391
00:15:26,625 --> 00:15:31,130
nothing you say could
ever disappoint me.
392
00:15:31,130 --> 00:15:31,997
What is it?
393
00:15:33,465 --> 00:15:36,585
I have to go to the doctor.
394
00:15:38,671 --> 00:15:39,972
What for? No, it's nothing serious.
395
00:15:39,972 --> 00:15:41,473
It's, uh...
396
00:15:41,473 --> 00:15:42,474
I just figured that, you know,
397
00:15:42,474 --> 00:15:43,475
we-we're getting married.
398
00:15:43,475 --> 00:15:44,977
Uh, I might as well have a check-up
399
00:15:44,977 --> 00:15:48,981
and make sure the old
Evinrude's still cranking.
400
00:15:48,981 --> 00:15:52,484
I don't see any cause for alarm in that.
401
00:15:52,484 --> 00:15:53,485
No.
402
00:15:53,986 --> 00:15:55,854
In fact, I think it's quite sensible.
403
00:15:55,854 --> 00:15:57,072
Good, good.
404
00:15:57,072 --> 00:15:58,023
I love the dresses.
405
00:15:58,023 --> 00:15:59,024
Oh, me, too.
406
00:15:59,024 --> 00:16:00,409
Thanks so much.
407
00:16:00,409 --> 00:16:01,860
Lovely.
408
00:16:01,860 --> 00:16:04,363
So, uh, what now, Kemo Sammy?
409
00:16:05,864 --> 00:16:07,366
It's no problem. It's no problem.
410
00:16:07,366 --> 00:16:08,367
I'll just, uh... I'll
go back to the store
411
00:16:08,367 --> 00:16:11,370
and I'll... I'll handle it.
412
00:16:11,370 --> 00:16:13,872
Tell you, though... no way in the world
413
00:16:13,872 --> 00:16:15,758
am I going to buy that expensive ring.
414
00:16:16,675 --> 00:16:18,677
The ring is bought. Oh, yeah.
415
00:16:29,555 --> 00:16:31,557
CLIFF: Oh, you shelled out
416
00:16:31,557 --> 00:16:33,942
for the ring in the
window, didn't you, Sammy?
417
00:16:34,777 --> 00:16:36,028
Yeah.
418
00:16:36,028 --> 00:16:36,862
Uh-huh.
419
00:16:36,862 --> 00:16:39,732
I got a real interesting price on it.
420
00:16:39,732 --> 00:16:40,399
Full price?
421
00:16:40,399 --> 00:16:42,151
Right around there, yeah.
422
00:16:43,402 --> 00:16:46,905
As soon as I switch this one
for the... ring on her finger,
423
00:16:46,905 --> 00:16:49,291
my problems are over.
424
00:16:49,291 --> 00:16:52,077
Oh, Sam, what did the doctor say?
425
00:16:52,077 --> 00:16:55,047
Same thing he always does: "Wow!"
426
00:17:00,636 --> 00:17:02,638
But you're fine, yes?
427
00:17:02,638 --> 00:17:04,139
SAM: Oh, yeah, no problem there.
428
00:17:04,139 --> 00:17:05,641
No, uh...
429
00:17:05,641 --> 00:17:07,009
You know, actually, I-I was sitting
430
00:17:07,009 --> 00:17:08,894
in the, uh, waiting room there,
431
00:17:08,894 --> 00:17:09,895
and I, uh, realized that, uh,
432
00:17:09,895 --> 00:17:12,398
I had never officially put
433
00:17:12,898 --> 00:17:14,400
that ring on your finger, and I'd...
434
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:15,901
well, I'd kind of like to.
435
00:17:15,901 --> 00:17:19,905
Sam, you're just
sweeping me off my feet.
436
00:17:19,905 --> 00:17:23,409
Um, okay, well, uh, close your eyes.
437
00:17:23,409 --> 00:17:24,410
Why?
438
00:17:24,410 --> 00:17:25,911
Uh, well, there, uh...
439
00:17:25,911 --> 00:17:27,413
there-there's something
I want to say to you,
440
00:17:27,913 --> 00:17:28,914
and, uh, I might get embarrassed
441
00:17:28,914 --> 00:17:31,917
if-if you saw me... say it.
442
00:17:31,917 --> 00:17:32,918
Okay.
443
00:17:32,918 --> 00:17:34,920
All right. I can't wait to hear this.
444
00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:36,422
Right...
445
00:17:39,258 --> 00:17:43,762
Diane... you're really neat.
446
00:17:47,382 --> 00:17:50,135
I think this big step we've taken
447
00:17:50,135 --> 00:17:52,137
has made you positively goofy.
448
00:17:52,638 --> 00:17:53,538
Well, maybe it has.
449
00:17:53,639 --> 00:17:54,890
That's me-- just
one big goof.
450
00:17:54,890 --> 00:17:57,726
(chuckles)
451
00:17:57,726 --> 00:17:59,728
Yeah, they, uh... they
haven't found a chick
452
00:17:59,728 --> 00:18:01,230
that can outsmart me.
453
00:18:01,230 --> 00:18:03,232
All right, Sammy.
454
00:18:03,232 --> 00:18:06,652
Did he say "chick" or "chimp"?
455
00:18:08,537 --> 00:18:10,372
(phone ringing)
456
00:18:12,875 --> 00:18:14,376
Cheers.
457
00:18:15,327 --> 00:18:18,330
Uh, no, I'm sorry.
458
00:18:18,330 --> 00:18:20,833
Norman is uncharacteristically absent.
459
00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:24,336
May I... take a message for him?
460
00:18:24,336 --> 00:18:25,838
Uh-huh.
461
00:18:25,838 --> 00:18:28,340
Bruce wants to know about the ring?
462
00:18:28,340 --> 00:18:30,843
Mm-hmm.
463
00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:34,847
Uh-huh...
464
00:18:35,848 --> 00:18:38,350
Yes, I think it's safe to say
465
00:18:38,350 --> 00:18:43,355
that Sam's fianc�e was
completely fooled by it.
466
00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:57,870
Boy, I'm starved.
467
00:18:57,870 --> 00:19:01,373
I hear it's a great restaurant.
468
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:10,382
You're quite the little
chatterbox tonight.
469
00:19:10,382 --> 00:19:12,851
Oh, you want me to talk?
470
00:19:12,851 --> 00:19:15,354
Well, it's not necessary.
471
00:19:15,354 --> 00:19:16,355
Fine, I'll talk.
472
00:19:16,355 --> 00:19:17,856
I don't appreciate
473
00:19:17,856 --> 00:19:20,359
being given junk jewelry
474
00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:21,860
and then lied to about it.
475
00:19:21,860 --> 00:19:24,863
Oh, now, wait a second, that
is not junk jewelry, Diane.
476
00:19:24,863 --> 00:19:27,366
Oh, Sam, please, no more lies.
477
00:19:27,366 --> 00:19:28,367
How could you pledge
478
00:19:28,367 --> 00:19:30,869
your troth with a paste ring?
479
00:19:30,869 --> 00:19:31,870
Oh, that is not a paste ring!
480
00:19:31,870 --> 00:19:32,871
All right, all right, there was...
481
00:19:32,871 --> 00:19:33,872
there was another ring.
482
00:19:33,872 --> 00:19:34,873
I... but I switched it
483
00:19:34,873 --> 00:19:35,874
for the one in the window.
484
00:19:35,874 --> 00:19:36,875
I swear to God I did, Diane!
485
00:19:36,875 --> 00:19:38,877
Oh, please, don't bother swearing.
486
00:19:38,877 --> 00:19:40,379
You have no idea what this day has...
487
00:19:40,379 --> 00:19:42,381
I know this obviously
means nothing to you.
488
00:19:42,381 --> 00:19:44,383
I'd rather go without than wear a lie.
489
00:19:44,383 --> 00:19:45,384
SAM: No, no, no!
490
00:19:45,384 --> 00:19:49,388
(tires screeching) (crashing)
491
00:19:50,889 --> 00:19:55,477
Explain that part about
switching rings again.
492
00:19:57,479 --> 00:19:59,648
Oh, there's something shiny!
493
00:19:59,648 --> 00:20:04,069
No. Just another paper wrapper.
494
00:20:04,069 --> 00:20:06,572
(sighs)
495
00:20:07,573 --> 00:20:11,076
Oh, look at us. We're filthy.
496
00:20:11,076 --> 00:20:13,579
Yeah.
497
00:20:13,579 --> 00:20:17,082
By the way, I hate that dress.
498
00:20:19,534 --> 00:20:23,038
Considering the circumstances
under which it was obtained,
499
00:20:23,038 --> 00:20:25,540
it's hardly one of my favorites anymore.
500
00:20:25,540 --> 00:20:27,542
Okay.
501
00:20:27,542 --> 00:20:29,044
Then I can count on you not wearing it
502
00:20:29,044 --> 00:20:30,545
when you visit me in the poorhouse
503
00:20:30,545 --> 00:20:32,047
that you put me in.
504
00:20:32,047 --> 00:20:34,549
Oh, Sam, get off it.
505
00:20:35,550 --> 00:20:36,551
No, no, no, wait a second.
506
00:20:36,551 --> 00:20:38,937
Le-Let's tally up the damages here.
507
00:20:38,937 --> 00:20:42,357
The first ring was $1,200.
508
00:20:42,357 --> 00:20:44,860
The box was $290.
509
00:20:44,860 --> 00:20:49,865
Four lovely pink frocks was a mere $950.
510
00:20:49,865 --> 00:20:51,783
The, uh, damages on the car
511
00:20:51,783 --> 00:20:53,285
will be at least a grand.
512
00:20:53,285 --> 00:20:55,787
And let's not forget
about the $5,200 bite
513
00:20:55,787 --> 00:20:58,073
I was hoping to avoid
in the first place.
514
00:20:58,073 --> 00:21:03,078
Bringing it to a grand
total of $9,000...
515
00:21:03,078 --> 00:21:06,081
for a ring I no longer have.
516
00:21:06,081 --> 00:21:09,584
Well, I hasten to add that this
was all of your own volition.
517
00:21:09,584 --> 00:21:10,585
SAM: Ah...
518
00:21:13,088 --> 00:21:15,090
$290 for the box?
519
00:21:15,090 --> 00:21:16,425
Yeah.
520
00:21:17,426 --> 00:21:19,311
Do you like... do you
like corn on the cob?
521
00:21:23,315 --> 00:21:27,653
Well, I guess I'm just stupid to think
522
00:21:27,653 --> 00:21:29,604
that I could make someone like you happy
523
00:21:29,604 --> 00:21:33,108
on a budget of someone like me.
524
00:21:37,612 --> 00:21:38,113
I'm sorry.
525
00:21:38,613 --> 00:21:39,614
Well, you should be.
526
00:21:42,117 --> 00:21:46,121
All right, I said I was!
527
00:21:47,122 --> 00:21:49,624
Give me a bit of slack.
528
00:21:51,626 --> 00:21:54,129
(sighs)
529
00:21:54,129 --> 00:21:59,634
Even... had that been
the... bargain ring,
530
00:21:59,634 --> 00:22:00,635
it would've been
531
00:22:00,635 --> 00:22:03,638
sinfully impetuous
of me to cast it away.
532
00:22:04,139 --> 00:22:06,641
Well, here's the bargain ring right now.
533
00:22:06,641 --> 00:22:10,145
Why don't you give it
the old heave-ho, too?
534
00:22:10,145 --> 00:22:12,614
Hmm...
535
00:22:12,614 --> 00:22:14,616
Hmm.
536
00:22:14,616 --> 00:22:18,120
I'm somehow reminded of a fable penned
537
00:22:18,120 --> 00:22:22,624
by an anonymous 18th century author...
538
00:22:22,624 --> 00:22:25,627
concerning the young mistress
539
00:22:25,627 --> 00:22:27,546
of a great feudal estate
540
00:22:27,546 --> 00:22:29,965
and a woodchopper who
worked on the estate...
541
00:22:29,965 --> 00:22:34,920
Diane... not now, please?
542
00:22:38,924 --> 00:22:41,426
Could I just tell you the moral?
543
00:22:41,426 --> 00:22:43,929
What?
544
00:22:43,929 --> 00:22:46,431
You're really neat.
545
00:22:52,904 --> 00:22:56,408
Hardly a rich soul, I know.
546
00:22:56,408 --> 00:22:59,411
The fact remains that...
547
00:22:59,411 --> 00:23:02,330
no matter what the cost...
548
00:23:02,330 --> 00:23:06,368
a ring is, above all else,
549
00:23:06,368 --> 00:23:07,869
a symbol of the feelings
550
00:23:07,869 --> 00:23:12,374
that two people have for each other.
551
00:23:13,875 --> 00:23:17,879
So, truly, Sam, this is the ring I want.
552
00:23:17,879 --> 00:23:21,383
Whoa, whoa, whoa, here.
553
00:23:22,384 --> 00:23:24,886
Let me do this.
554
00:23:24,886 --> 00:23:27,389
Uh...
555
00:23:31,393 --> 00:23:34,396
But nothing says we can't keep looking.
556
00:23:45,624 --> 00:23:48,627
(screaming): No!
557
00:23:49,305 --> 00:23:55,805
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