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1
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The Redeemer,
2
00:00:22,355 --> 00:00:24,941
like the Lord our God above,
3
00:00:24,983 --> 00:00:27,986
shall destroy them
with a mighty destruction
4
00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:31,322
until they all be destroyed.
5
00:00:31,406 --> 00:00:34,284
Through God's teachings,
we can be the monster truck.
6
00:00:34,325 --> 00:00:38,121
We can smush the things
that the devil puts in our way.
7
00:00:38,163 --> 00:00:40,123
Boom.
8
00:00:40,165 --> 00:00:41,875
Now, can I get an amen?
9
00:00:41,958 --> 00:00:43,001
all: Amen!
10
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:44,502
Whoo!
11
00:00:49,007 --> 00:00:50,383
Y'all know
I don't like to cuss,
12
00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:53,178
but what in the hell
is this horseshit
13
00:00:53,219 --> 00:00:54,721
I'm looking at right now?
14
00:00:54,804 --> 00:00:56,348
Ooh, Mama said the S-word.
15
00:00:56,389 --> 00:00:58,350
This has nothing
to do with church.
16
00:00:58,433 --> 00:01:00,018
He's making us look
like fools,
17
00:01:00,101 --> 00:01:02,270
talking about we can be
like a monster truck.
18
00:01:02,354 --> 00:01:04,689
I can't believe y'all let him
pull this Hot Wheels mess.
19
00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:05,857
A good turnout, at least.
20
00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:08,193
A very profitable Friday night.
21
00:01:08,276 --> 00:01:09,569
Well, that's gotta count
for something.
22
00:01:09,652 --> 00:01:11,780
We're putting butts
in the seats.
23
00:01:11,863 --> 00:01:13,323
Money ain't everything, baby.
24
00:01:13,365 --> 00:01:15,867
What we gonna do,
start selling beer next?
25
00:01:15,950 --> 00:01:17,452
Get your ice cold beer here.
26
00:01:17,494 --> 00:01:19,788
Beer, beer, beer.
27
00:01:19,871 --> 00:01:22,665
Get your ice cold beer.
28
00:01:22,707 --> 00:01:24,876
Beer, beer, beer.
29
00:01:34,552 --> 00:01:36,304
You.
30
00:01:36,388 --> 00:01:38,014
You're nothing but a fool.
31
00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:39,891
Pretending on TV to be
all kind and caring,
32
00:01:39,974 --> 00:01:42,477
but I know the truth.
33
00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:43,520
May-May?
34
00:01:43,561 --> 00:01:45,730
Damn you to hell,
Aimee-Leigh.
35
00:01:52,487 --> 00:01:55,907
Somebody help me!
She's trying to kill me!
36
00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:57,033
Help me!
37
00:01:57,075 --> 00:01:58,618
Help!
38
00:01:58,702 --> 00:01:59,869
Help me!
39
00:01:59,911 --> 00:02:01,746
She's trying to kill me!
40
00:02:18,346 --> 00:02:20,140
You think
I'd just live with it,
41
00:02:20,223 --> 00:02:21,725
what you done to my family?
42
00:02:21,766 --> 00:02:23,268
Please, May-May,
this ain't the way.
43
00:02:23,351 --> 00:02:25,103
Now it's your turn to feel--
44
00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:31,693
What the hell?
I'm sorry!
45
00:02:43,872 --> 00:02:47,125
♪ Praise ♪
46
00:02:50,754 --> 00:02:54,591
♪ Praise ♪
47
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:58,553
We are the elite
of the evangelical world.
48
00:02:58,636 --> 00:03:03,308
Our capes embrace us
like the arms of Jesus Christ.
49
00:03:03,391 --> 00:03:07,228
We wear it
in celebration of his love.
50
00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:09,481
The pistol gives the power
to take life.
51
00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:12,776
The Lord gave us free will
to do as we choose.
52
00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:15,028
Thusly, it is a righteous man
53
00:03:15,111 --> 00:03:17,947
who wears the pistol
yet does no evil.
54
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:21,242
Under the eyes of God,
we are the men
55
00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:24,162
of the Cape and Pistol Society.
56
00:03:31,503 --> 00:03:33,505
Hey, how you enjoying
your retirement there, Eli?
57
00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:35,173
Oh, he ain't retired.
58
00:03:35,256 --> 00:03:36,716
He's writing books.
59
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:37,842
He's doing press.
60
00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:40,887
Admit it, Eli, you can't
stay out of the spotlight.
61
00:03:40,970 --> 00:03:42,347
No, no, no.
62
00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:45,141
You better believe I'm gonna be
fishing and sipping.
63
00:03:45,183 --> 00:03:46,518
Fishing and sipping.
64
00:03:46,601 --> 00:03:48,603
You scared your kids
gonna blow it.
65
00:03:50,271 --> 00:03:51,231
Pretty much.
66
00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:08,289
♪ We're marching to Zion ♪
67
00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:11,751
♪ Beautiful, beautiful Zion ♪
68
00:04:11,835 --> 00:04:15,964
♪ We're marching
upward to Zion ♪
69
00:04:16,047 --> 00:04:19,718
♪ The beautiful city of God ♪
70
00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:22,762
Zion is a beautiful
resort, sir.
71
00:04:22,846 --> 00:04:23,763
Yeah.
72
00:04:23,847 --> 00:04:24,889
Heaven on Earth.
73
00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:26,099
- Amen.
- Yeah.
74
00:04:26,182 --> 00:04:28,101
Take it in while you can.
75
00:04:28,184 --> 00:04:29,686
What's that?
76
00:04:29,728 --> 00:04:31,229
Really, Gregory?
77
00:04:31,312 --> 00:04:32,772
I had a fucking thing planned.
78
00:04:32,856 --> 00:04:34,232
Oh, I'm sorry, Jess.
79
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:35,984
What's happening right now?
80
00:04:36,067 --> 00:04:38,153
Well, go on, Gregory, you
want to spill the damn beans,
81
00:04:38,236 --> 00:04:39,404
- speak out of turn, tell him.
- Really?
82
00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:40,572
Do it, damn it.
83
00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:42,866
You're fired, Walker.
84
00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:45,076
Take it like a man
if you can.
85
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:46,161
Ooh!
86
00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:47,287
What are they
talking about, Jesse?
87
00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:48,538
I've driven your daddy
for years,
88
00:04:48,580 --> 00:04:50,415
and you know
I would take a bullet.
89
00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:52,334
Well, I used
to think that,
90
00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:54,544
until I started seeing
little tidbits about my family
91
00:04:54,586 --> 00:04:55,920
being published online.
92
00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:58,548
Little insights
into the transition of power.
93
00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:00,133
You got the wrong guy, Jesse.
94
00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:02,761
Behold.
95
00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:05,472
This was published
in "Christian Times."
96
00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:08,350
"After the Gemstone heirs
got the dismal poll numbers,
97
00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:11,102
"Amber Gemstone
made sugar cookies
98
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:13,313
- to lighten the mood..."
- Mm.
99
00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:15,523
"Says an insider
to the family."
100
00:05:15,607 --> 00:05:17,984
I ain't the only one
you told that story to, Jesse.
101
00:05:18,068 --> 00:05:19,319
It's a nice story.
102
00:05:19,402 --> 00:05:21,237
Sugar cookies
ain't real, bitch.
103
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:24,240
That's a detail I made up
to sniff out the rat.
104
00:05:24,282 --> 00:05:25,617
She made crescents, son.
105
00:05:25,658 --> 00:05:27,869
You're the only one
I told sugar cooks to,
106
00:05:27,952 --> 00:05:29,579
you fucking snitch.
107
00:05:29,621 --> 00:05:30,789
- Grab his ass.
- What?
108
00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:32,624
Come on, now.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
109
00:05:32,665 --> 00:05:35,126
- What is happening?
- Here you go, here you go.
110
00:05:35,210 --> 00:05:36,127
Whack him, Jess. Come on.
111
00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:38,254
Keep an eye out, Levi.
112
00:05:38,296 --> 00:05:39,255
- Jesse, please.
- Come on, now. Get him.
113
00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:40,757
Tally-ho.
114
00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:41,966
What?
115
00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:44,260
Hey, how you doing?
116
00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:45,970
We're just having fun,
just playing around.
117
00:05:46,054 --> 00:05:48,056
Damn it, Jesse, you brought
me all the way to Florida
118
00:05:48,139 --> 00:05:49,307
just to fire me?
119
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:50,684
Yes, I did.
120
00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:53,311
When your family asks
how you broke your nose,
121
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:56,314
tell them it was
a kite surfing accident.
122
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:57,982
My nose ain't broken.
123
00:06:01,111 --> 00:06:02,278
Yeah, it is.
124
00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:05,073
Kite surfing's a lot harder
than it looks.
125
00:06:05,156 --> 00:06:06,616
How was your
Judy On Top tour?
126
00:06:06,658 --> 00:06:07,659
Fun?
127
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,703
Oh, you know,
it's life on the road.
128
00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:11,955
Port to port,
city to city,
129
00:06:11,996 --> 00:06:14,332
screaming fans.
130
00:06:14,416 --> 00:06:16,334
Oh.
131
00:06:16,418 --> 00:06:18,211
Mm, thank you.
132
00:06:18,294 --> 00:06:20,797
Hey, that was
a cold fish kiss.
133
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:22,132
Everything OK, Jude?
134
00:06:22,173 --> 00:06:24,843
Yeah, it's just, I've been
on a five-state tour, Beej.
135
00:06:24,926 --> 00:06:26,511
I'm tired.
136
00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:28,179
Cut me some friggin' slack.
137
00:06:28,263 --> 00:06:30,140
My gosh.
138
00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:31,641
Well, my famous wife.
139
00:06:31,683 --> 00:06:32,892
I always knew
when I married you,
140
00:06:32,976 --> 00:06:34,352
I'd have to share you
with the world.
141
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,521
OK, I gotta go.
142
00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:38,356
What?
Already?
143
00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:39,691
Well, I have
work duties, Beej.
144
00:06:39,774 --> 00:06:41,985
Me and my brothers
run the church now.
145
00:06:42,027 --> 00:06:42,986
I love you so much.
146
00:06:46,281 --> 00:06:48,158
I love you too.
147
00:06:48,199 --> 00:06:49,701
So glad you're home.
148
00:06:49,784 --> 00:06:52,746
Oh, Keefe,
this is gonna hurt.
149
00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:54,456
No doubt.
150
00:06:54,539 --> 00:06:56,541
We wiped out
most of their stock.
151
00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:59,544
That shop's gonna have
nothing else to sell like this.
152
00:06:59,627 --> 00:07:02,422
Until they restock.
And then what?
153
00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:05,258
And we'll return
and buy it all again.
154
00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:06,926
Remember yourself, Taryn.
155
00:07:07,010 --> 00:07:08,053
No.
156
00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:09,721
No, she has a point.
157
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:12,140
We're trying to shut
these deviants down,
158
00:07:12,182 --> 00:07:13,933
not give them
an economic boost.
159
00:07:14,017 --> 00:07:19,022
But I'm still so impressed
by you guys.
160
00:07:19,064 --> 00:07:21,483
This just shows me
how motivated y'all are
161
00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:23,735
to achieve the goals
of the Smut Busters.
162
00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:29,532
both: No smut, no lust,
no coconuts.
163
00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:31,201
Come on, y'all.
164
00:07:31,242 --> 00:07:34,746
Part of being in the group is
doing the saying when we do it.
165
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:37,082
I did not know
what was happening.
166
00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:49,094
Through the power
of Christ's love
167
00:07:49,177 --> 00:07:50,762
and Lasik surgery,
168
00:07:50,845 --> 00:07:53,682
we have restored sight
to the blind
169
00:07:53,765 --> 00:07:56,559
or at least the nearsighted.
170
00:07:56,601 --> 00:08:00,188
These primitive people
can see Christ's world
171
00:08:00,271 --> 00:08:03,858
and read signs at night
much better because of us.
172
00:08:03,942 --> 00:08:05,276
Well, I'm not sure how many
of these primitive people
173
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,696
are reading street signs
tonight in the rain forest.
174
00:08:07,779 --> 00:08:08,988
And that's not really
the main reason why we did it.
175
00:08:09,072 --> 00:08:10,490
I didn't say
it was the main reason.
176
00:08:10,573 --> 00:08:11,783
Well, you are
heavily featuring it, so...
177
00:08:11,866 --> 00:08:13,493
OK, boys, time to wrap it up.
178
00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:14,828
They're trying to get back
to me singing.
179
00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:16,162
We're accompanying
the montage, Judy.
180
00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:17,372
You're not the main part.
181
00:08:17,455 --> 00:08:18,998
Yeah, this isn't
a solo tour, Judy.
182
00:08:19,082 --> 00:08:20,000
No, it's not.
183
00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:21,376
We're doing our thing
right now, thank you.
184
00:08:21,459 --> 00:08:22,460
You're not the main reason.
185
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:25,130
♪ A new revelation ♪
186
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:29,134
- ♪ Will set you free ♪
- ♪ Hallelujah for his light ♪
187
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:32,804
♪ Illumination ♪
188
00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:34,264
♪ Soon you will see ♪
189
00:08:36,099 --> 00:08:37,726
Took care
of your driver Walker.
190
00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:39,602
That bitch is history, Daddy.
191
00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:40,937
Lying sneak.
192
00:08:40,979 --> 00:08:42,647
Well, we're gonna need
a new driver.
193
00:08:42,731 --> 00:08:44,649
Somebody we can trust
this time.
194
00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:45,984
We'll get you one.
195
00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:48,403
Hopefully, maybe Judy
and Kelvin could help out,
196
00:08:48,445 --> 00:08:51,322
seeing as how I do
every other goddamn thing
197
00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:52,449
around here lately.
198
00:08:52,490 --> 00:08:54,200
Man, Jesse, shut the fuck up.
199
00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:55,493
You ain't the boss of us.
200
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:56,411
I'm the main decider.
201
00:08:56,453 --> 00:08:58,621
We're all deciders, Jesse,
not just you.
202
00:08:58,663 --> 00:09:00,415
Oh, please, Kelvin.
203
00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:02,000
You and old slow eyes
over there
204
00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:04,294
are off doing
your damn pervert protest
205
00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:05,420
to help with the church at all.
206
00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:07,672
The Smut Busters
have already taken down
207
00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:10,842
16 porno shops
on the I-95 corridor alone.
208
00:09:10,925 --> 00:09:12,552
Well, I'm glad
that truck drivers
209
00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:14,512
won't be able to buy
dick pills anymore.
210
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:15,513
Bravo.
211
00:09:15,597 --> 00:09:17,140
Look, the point is
that none of y'all but Jesse
212
00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:19,184
are doing anything important.
213
00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:20,060
You know, this has been
214
00:09:20,143 --> 00:09:21,603
a really hard time
for our family.
215
00:09:21,686 --> 00:09:23,063
Our son was injured,
216
00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:25,148
almost killed,
in a work accident.
217
00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:26,149
Mom, please don't.
218
00:09:26,191 --> 00:09:27,525
This has been
very traumatic for us,
219
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,194
and y'all don't even care.
220
00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:31,029
Gideon, your mom
is trying to Munchhausen you.
221
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:33,865
Amber, you need to stop
trying to milk sympathy votes
222
00:09:33,948 --> 00:09:35,867
for your son being
a crippled, OK?
223
00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:37,202
Jesse, get her ass in line.
224
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:38,870
Maybe you need to stop
talking about Baron Munchausen.
225
00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:40,622
Can we please
just eat in peace?
226
00:09:40,705 --> 00:09:44,459
Unfortunately, I have
some not-so-peaceful news.
227
00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:47,087
As you all know, since your
daddy has taken a step back,
228
00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:51,633
there has been a decline in
both attendance and donations.
229
00:09:51,716 --> 00:09:53,259
I have noticed
that the seats high up
230
00:09:53,343 --> 00:09:54,719
have been empty more and more.
231
00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:56,513
And now I've been informed
232
00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:59,432
that one of our largest benefactors
233
00:09:59,516 --> 00:10:01,017
is departing.
234
00:10:01,059 --> 00:10:02,060
Who?
235
00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:04,270
The race car driver,
Dusty Daniels.
236
00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:05,730
Dusty Daniels?
237
00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:07,357
The Slick Bandit?
238
00:10:07,399 --> 00:10:08,733
That guy's a living legend.
239
00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:09,734
He's, like, 100 years old.
240
00:10:09,818 --> 00:10:11,611
He's gonna be dead soon anyway,
so, oh, well.
241
00:10:11,695 --> 00:10:15,073
Our ministry was to receive
his entire estate,
242
00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:18,785
including branding,
corporation, even his name.
243
00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:20,662
Pfft. So what?
We got names.
244
00:10:20,745 --> 00:10:21,746
Don't need his.
245
00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:23,623
His name
is currently estimated
246
00:10:23,707 --> 00:10:26,376
to be worth over $200 million.
247
00:10:26,418 --> 00:10:29,004
- Huh?
- Motherfucker.
248
00:10:29,087 --> 00:10:32,757
We were also set to inherit
Dusty's trademark slogan,
249
00:10:32,841 --> 00:10:33,883
"Whoo-whee, sucker!"
250
00:10:33,925 --> 00:10:37,220
Merchandising alone,
over $30 million.
251
00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:39,472
Is this because of the
goddamn shitty poll numbers?
252
00:10:39,556 --> 00:10:41,016
Which shitty
poll numbers, Jesse?
253
00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:44,477
The ones where 85% said you're
colder than a fucking ice cube
254
00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:46,521
shoved up
a polar bear's asshole?
255
00:10:46,604 --> 00:10:47,772
I remember
those same pollsters saying
256
00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:49,149
that your songs
are when most people in church
257
00:10:49,232 --> 00:10:50,400
go to take a shit.
258
00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:52,944
Prove it, Jesse.
259
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:54,112
I will.
260
00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:56,281
Maybe if y'all stopped
henpecking at one another
261
00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:58,450
and started trying to fix
what ain't working,
262
00:10:58,491 --> 00:10:59,951
you wouldn't be
in this situation.
263
00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:02,078
You all need to go
connect with him,
264
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:03,663
win his confidence.
265
00:11:03,747 --> 00:11:06,624
If Dusty's not happy,
I don't blame him.
266
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:08,710
I will try to go
and minister to him.
267
00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:10,211
We'll see if these guys
will help.
268
00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:11,379
I'll do it, Daddy.
269
00:11:11,463 --> 00:11:12,797
- Bleh.
- Meh.
270
00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:14,257
- Meh-meh.
- Bleh.
271
00:11:14,299 --> 00:11:15,216
Unh.
272
00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:16,301
Unh.
273
00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:18,678
- Grow up.
- Ugh.
274
00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:31,900
- Yes.
- Whoo!
275
00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:33,109
Yes.
276
00:11:34,861 --> 00:11:37,405
Man, real talk, y'all,
I don't get this race car shit.
277
00:11:37,489 --> 00:11:38,782
Bunch of rednecks
racing around,
278
00:11:38,823 --> 00:11:40,492
seeing who can go nowhere
the fastest.
279
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:43,244
OK, well, now's not the time
to be PMS'ing, Judy.
280
00:11:43,328 --> 00:11:46,289
- Psh!
- She's been a real B-I-T-C-H
281
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:47,916
since she got back from tour.
282
00:11:47,999 --> 00:11:50,418
Man, why is everybody
wondering about my tour,
283
00:11:50,502 --> 00:11:51,961
asking me
what happened on tour?
284
00:11:52,003 --> 00:11:54,506
I sang fucking songs, OK?
That's it.
285
00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:55,840
End of story.
286
00:11:55,924 --> 00:11:57,175
Somebody's been
acting mysterious.
287
00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:58,635
- Fuck off.
- What happened on tour?
288
00:11:58,677 --> 00:12:00,178
- Fuck off, nothing.
- Here he comes. Shh.
289
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:02,597
By the way, I'm on my period,
not PMS'ing.
290
00:12:02,681 --> 00:12:03,848
Guys, here he comes.
Big smiles.
291
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:05,183
- OK.
- Cheers. Big cheers.
292
00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:06,226
- OK. Whoo!
- Yes.
293
00:12:06,309 --> 00:12:09,354
- Yes!
- Oh, yes!
294
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,732
Yay!
295
00:12:12,816 --> 00:12:14,401
- Whoo!
- Yeah!
296
00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:17,028
- Yes!
- Whoo-whee, sucker!
297
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:19,823
The Slick Bandit
looking slicker than ever.
298
00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:21,658
God's fastest son
on four wheels.
299
00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:23,702
Someone's fixing
for a comeback.
300
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:26,121
Waste of your time
coming up here.
301
00:12:26,204 --> 00:12:27,580
Ain't nothing
the three of you can say
302
00:12:27,664 --> 00:12:29,249
gonna change my mind.
303
00:12:29,332 --> 00:12:30,709
OK.
304
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,919
Let me shoot you straight.
305
00:12:33,003 --> 00:12:36,047
Your church has changed.
306
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:38,800
See, when Eli was heading
things up, I was happy.
307
00:12:38,883 --> 00:12:41,845
Now that he ain't,
I don't like it so much.
308
00:12:41,886 --> 00:12:44,222
The thing is, we are
gonna make this right.
309
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:45,098
- Yeah.
- OK?
310
00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:46,891
We're young
and up to the task, dude.
311
00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:48,226
See, that's the thing.
312
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:49,894
I don't trust young people.
I'm old-school.
313
00:12:49,978 --> 00:12:51,062
Well, you know, actually,
we are not
314
00:12:51,146 --> 00:12:52,522
as young as you think we are.
315
00:12:52,564 --> 00:12:55,191
I mean, Kelvin does Botox.
316
00:12:55,233 --> 00:12:56,484
- I don't do Botox.
- You do--
317
00:12:56,568 --> 00:12:58,069
- you do, too, do Botox.
- Never done Botox, so...
318
00:12:58,111 --> 00:12:59,571
OK, then why is there
an indention
319
00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:01,823
where your sunglasses
smushed your Botox forehead?
320
00:13:01,906 --> 00:13:03,033
- There isn't one.
- Yeah, there is.
321
00:13:03,074 --> 00:13:04,075
- No, there's not.
- Right here.
322
00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:06,077
Dusty, Jesse's got more grays
than you do, man.
323
00:13:06,161 --> 00:13:08,580
Dude is rocking a bad dye job.
324
00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:11,666
He didn't use to look
like a deformed Dracula.
325
00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:13,293
I do not look like
a deformed Dracula.
326
00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:15,420
- Yeah, you do. Yeah, you do.
- I don't dye my hair.
327
00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:17,088
I just changed my shampoo
is all, you idiots.
328
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,923
- See?
- Oh, really?
329
00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:22,010
Right there.
330
00:13:22,093 --> 00:13:25,305
When I used to watch your mama
and daddy, I felt the love.
331
00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:26,598
It was nice.
332
00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:29,017
I don't feel the love
in this current configuration.
333
00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:31,936
So I'm pulling up my stakes
and I'm making a change.
334
00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:33,605
We can--we love--
we love each other.
335
00:13:33,688 --> 00:13:34,731
- I love 'em.
- We do.
336
00:13:34,773 --> 00:13:36,274
- We're in love with each other.
- We do.
337
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:37,901
Olive juice you.
338
00:13:40,445 --> 00:13:41,863
Whoo-whee, sucker!
339
00:13:41,946 --> 00:13:43,448
Oh, there he go.
340
00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:51,331
♪ Well, black is the night ♪
341
00:13:51,414 --> 00:13:53,124
♪ Metal we fight ♪
342
00:13:53,208 --> 00:13:55,418
♪ Power amps set to explode ♪
343
00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:57,796
Jesus in Jerusalem.
344
00:13:57,879 --> 00:14:00,715
The fucking Simkins.
345
00:14:00,799 --> 00:14:04,969
♪ Warheads are ready
to fight ♪
346
00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:07,138
♪ Yeah, black leather hounds ♪
347
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:09,224
♪ Faster than sound ♪
348
00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:12,227
♪ Metal our purpose in life ♪
349
00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:14,562
♪ Baby, it's black metal ♪
350
00:14:14,646 --> 00:14:15,772
Good to see you.
351
00:14:15,814 --> 00:14:16,981
Dusty, tell me
you have not signed
352
00:14:17,065 --> 00:14:19,109
with these snake oil salesmen.
353
00:14:19,150 --> 00:14:20,944
Oh, take it easy, Jesse.
354
00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:23,279
We don't want no ill will
with the Gemstones.
355
00:14:23,321 --> 00:14:25,824
Dusty and our family
go way back.
356
00:14:25,907 --> 00:14:27,492
I worship with them now.
357
00:14:27,575 --> 00:14:29,869
They're "pull yourself up
by your bootstraps" type folks.
358
00:14:29,953 --> 00:14:30,995
I like that.
359
00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:32,455
- Nobody handed it to them.
- OK.
360
00:14:32,497 --> 00:14:34,833
Yeah, after Mom and Dad died
in the plane crash...
361
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:36,001
Here we go.
362
00:14:36,084 --> 00:14:37,335
I had to raise my siblings.
363
00:14:37,419 --> 00:14:38,503
Mm-hmm.
364
00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:40,380
I could have returned Craig
to the orphanage,
365
00:14:40,463 --> 00:14:42,465
but I knew my parents
wouldn't have wanted that.
366
00:14:42,507 --> 00:14:44,801
So we banded together
367
00:14:44,843 --> 00:14:47,137
to finish what they
so humbly had started.
368
00:14:47,178 --> 00:14:49,139
Look where we are today.
369
00:14:49,180 --> 00:14:50,932
Helping millions
around the world.
370
00:14:51,016 --> 00:14:52,934
And getting bigger every day.
371
00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:53,935
Yes, ma'am.
372
00:14:54,019 --> 00:14:55,145
Hey, Dusty.
373
00:14:55,186 --> 00:14:57,147
You are looking good.
374
00:14:57,188 --> 00:14:58,857
I appreciate that, Shay.
375
00:14:58,940 --> 00:15:01,109
You ain't looking
so bad yourself.
376
00:15:01,860 --> 00:15:03,111
Hey, Dusty.
377
00:15:03,194 --> 00:15:04,988
'Sup, boy?
378
00:15:05,030 --> 00:15:06,990
I also think you're a hot man.
379
00:15:07,032 --> 00:15:09,200
Not just Shay.
She's not the only one here.
380
00:15:09,284 --> 00:15:10,285
How am I looking
to you right now?
381
00:15:10,368 --> 00:15:12,704
- Pretty good too?
- Sure, you--
382
00:15:12,787 --> 00:15:14,789
all y'all look good, but...
383
00:15:14,873 --> 00:15:16,041
it ain't all about the looks.
384
00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:18,376
And that's a really good
thing, because if it were,
385
00:15:18,460 --> 00:15:19,836
we'd win by a mile.
386
00:15:19,878 --> 00:15:20,879
- Am I right?
- You're right.
387
00:15:20,962 --> 00:15:22,213
- Bodies, our bodies.
- He's right.
388
00:15:22,297 --> 00:15:23,965
Not a damn one of you
looking as fine as me.
389
00:15:24,049 --> 00:15:26,217
- Mm-hmm.
- You're gorgeous, Craig.
390
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:27,761
- Ugh.
- Dusty, you've worshipped
391
00:15:27,844 --> 00:15:30,055
with our family
for 35-plus years.
392
00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:31,723
You gotta give us
another shot.
393
00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:33,391
I'll tell you what.
394
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:37,729
Y'all want me to be a member
of your church so bad,
395
00:15:37,812 --> 00:15:39,189
why don't you battle for me?
396
00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:41,316
Battle?
What do you mean?
397
00:15:41,399 --> 00:15:44,152
Like a footrace or see who can
hold their breath the longest?
398
00:15:44,235 --> 00:15:47,238
- Like an egg toss?
- No.
399
00:15:47,322 --> 00:15:49,741
Let's settle it
in one of those.
400
00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:56,373
I don't really
know stock cars.
401
00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:57,624
Chicken, Simkins?
402
00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:01,753
- What are they doing?
- Ew.
403
00:16:01,795 --> 00:16:04,589
Dusty, we feel
the Lord has led you
404
00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:08,093
to where you're supposed to be,
worshipping with us.
405
00:16:08,176 --> 00:16:10,095
I'll drive on behalf
of my family.
406
00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:13,765
- Ew, what are you doing?
- Ow, what are you doing?
407
00:16:13,807 --> 00:16:14,766
- Ow.
- Jesse.
408
00:16:14,849 --> 00:16:15,767
Trying to hold your hands.
409
00:16:15,850 --> 00:16:17,227
- Grab it so hard.
- Ugh.
410
00:16:17,268 --> 00:16:19,187
- Let it happen, fuckers.
- Ugh.
411
00:16:19,270 --> 00:16:22,857
Dusty, we as well have--
412
00:16:22,941 --> 00:16:24,401
also believe that the Lord is--
413
00:16:24,442 --> 00:16:27,445
wants to have you
on our side too.
414
00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:30,949
So on behalf of my family,
I will drive too.
415
00:16:31,032 --> 00:16:32,867
- Ow.
- Ew. It's so awkward.
416
00:16:32,951 --> 00:16:34,828
- Ow.
- So there it is.
417
00:16:37,122 --> 00:16:38,456
♪ Let me see you go ♪
418
00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:46,131
OK, homey.
419
00:16:46,214 --> 00:16:47,340
You sure you got this?
420
00:16:47,424 --> 00:16:49,092
Come on.
My car at home is fast as fuck.
421
00:16:49,134 --> 00:16:50,552
How can this be any different?
422
00:16:50,635 --> 00:16:51,678
Besides, you heard him.
423
00:16:51,761 --> 00:16:54,055
He says he's got
zero experience.
424
00:16:54,139 --> 00:16:57,100
Well, I said no experience
in stock cars.
425
00:16:57,142 --> 00:16:59,310
I've dabbled in Formula 1.
426
00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:02,856
That son of a bitch.
427
00:17:02,939 --> 00:17:04,524
OK, that means
he's gonna eff it up.
428
00:17:04,607 --> 00:17:06,151
Yup.
429
00:17:08,445 --> 00:17:10,071
Let's race.
430
00:17:11,740 --> 00:17:13,324
♪ Don't take that down ♪
431
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:14,784
♪ Let me see you go ♪
432
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:21,499
♪ Don't take that down ♪
433
00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:24,461
♪ Don't take that ♪
434
00:17:26,838 --> 00:17:28,965
♪ Let me see you go up ♪
435
00:17:30,925 --> 00:17:33,136
♪ Let me see you go up ♪
436
00:17:35,847 --> 00:17:37,349
God damn it!
437
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,017
Do the gas!
Do the gas, boy!
438
00:17:39,059 --> 00:17:40,727
My car is broken!
439
00:17:40,810 --> 00:17:41,853
My car is broken!
440
00:17:41,936 --> 00:17:43,355
Go, you fucking race car!
441
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:44,647
Go!
442
00:17:46,524 --> 00:17:47,484
Whoo!
443
00:17:59,329 --> 00:18:00,663
- Fuck!
- Ah!
444
00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:01,831
What happened, Jesse?
445
00:18:01,873 --> 00:18:03,208
That's embarrassing, dude.
446
00:18:03,291 --> 00:18:05,502
Whoo-whee, sucker!
447
00:18:10,882 --> 00:18:12,425
Now that I'm semiretired,
448
00:18:12,509 --> 00:18:16,721
this change has given me time
to reflect on my life
449
00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:18,264
and my journey with Christ.
450
00:18:18,348 --> 00:18:22,060
I've put these reflections down
in a written word,
451
00:18:22,143 --> 00:18:25,814
my definitive autobiography.
452
00:18:25,897 --> 00:18:27,691
Why definitive, you ask?
453
00:18:27,732 --> 00:18:30,610
Well, because it's about
the third one I've written.
454
00:18:32,028 --> 00:18:34,406
I guess I lived longer
than I thought
455
00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:38,410
and I still have
a little more to say.
456
00:18:40,036 --> 00:18:42,247
Thank you. Thank you.
457
00:18:44,749 --> 00:18:47,002
Ah, thank you very much
for coming.
458
00:18:47,085 --> 00:18:48,878
- I knew I recognized you.
- Yes, sir.
459
00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:50,255
God bless you,
and have a great day.
460
00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:51,840
Thank you.
Bless you.
461
00:18:58,388 --> 00:18:59,931
You got a lot of nerve
coming here.
462
00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:01,391
Well, I paid the signing fee.
463
00:19:01,433 --> 00:19:03,601
Figures you have to pay money
to get a little face time.
464
00:19:03,685 --> 00:19:05,270
We've got a restraining order
against you.
465
00:19:05,353 --> 00:19:06,938
- Security.
- I need your help, Eli.
466
00:19:07,022 --> 00:19:08,064
I don't care what you need.
467
00:19:08,106 --> 00:19:09,315
Well, Aimee-Leigh
would hear me out.
468
00:19:09,399 --> 00:19:10,358
You know she would.
469
00:19:10,442 --> 00:19:12,610
How dare you say her name?
470
00:19:12,694 --> 00:19:13,445
Get her out of here.
471
00:19:13,528 --> 00:19:14,779
Eli, please,
I need your help.
472
00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:15,989
- Just get out of here.
- It's my boys, Eli.
473
00:19:16,072 --> 00:19:17,115
Get out!
474
00:19:17,198 --> 00:19:18,199
I wouldn't have come
to you otherwise.
475
00:19:18,283 --> 00:19:20,660
- Let go of me. I'm going.
- Out.
476
00:19:22,412 --> 00:19:24,581
39 Christian
marriage counselors
477
00:19:24,622 --> 00:19:27,000
were brought on
as consultants to ensure
478
00:19:27,083 --> 00:19:29,377
that The System was effective,
479
00:19:29,461 --> 00:19:31,963
a program you can use at home
to help your marriage
480
00:19:32,047 --> 00:19:34,299
better honor Jesus Christ.
481
00:19:34,382 --> 00:19:37,969
For just $500, you get
The System starter kit,
482
00:19:38,011 --> 00:19:40,972
which has everything you need
to begin your journey
483
00:19:41,014 --> 00:19:44,017
to a happy and healthy marriage
in the eyes of the Lord.
484
00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:46,311
Is your marriage
important to you?
485
00:19:46,394 --> 00:19:48,229
Then what are you waiting for?
486
00:19:48,313 --> 00:19:50,106
all: Call now.
487
00:19:50,148 --> 00:19:52,150
Well, did y'all
get Dusty back?
488
00:19:52,192 --> 00:19:53,443
Nope.
489
00:19:53,485 --> 00:19:55,445
Lost him to the fucking
Simkins, of all people.
490
00:19:55,487 --> 00:19:57,989
The siblings whose parents
died in a plane crash?
491
00:19:58,031 --> 00:19:59,199
Yes.
492
00:19:59,282 --> 00:20:01,409
They are so fucking lucky.
493
00:20:01,493 --> 00:20:03,161
I wish that I had
some traumatic event
494
00:20:03,244 --> 00:20:04,871
that happened to me
that I can exploit
495
00:20:04,954 --> 00:20:06,581
and make people like us.
496
00:20:06,664 --> 00:20:09,334
I mean, our origin story sucks
compared to theirs.
497
00:20:09,417 --> 00:20:11,503
I mean, nobody's rooting
for born-wealthy people
498
00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:13,880
to become more wealthy.
499
00:20:13,963 --> 00:20:15,882
I'm really worried.
Are you?
500
00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:17,884
No.
A little concerned.
501
00:20:17,967 --> 00:20:20,470
You know, obviously, I wish
that Judy and Kelvin's mouths
502
00:20:20,512 --> 00:20:23,306
were taped shut and that you
were the only one in charge.
503
00:20:23,348 --> 00:20:25,767
Baby, their energy
makes you all look desperate.
504
00:20:25,850 --> 00:20:27,811
Well, I mean, that's because
we are desperate.
505
00:20:27,852 --> 00:20:30,063
We're picking up
where Eli Gemstone left off,
506
00:20:30,146 --> 00:20:31,690
a man who's done this job
for, like,
507
00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:33,400
a fucking hundreds of thousands
of years
508
00:20:33,483 --> 00:20:35,443
and is America's Jesus daddy.
509
00:20:35,527 --> 00:20:36,945
Look, I'm not trying
to rain on your parade.
510
00:20:37,028 --> 00:20:38,321
You know,
I'm really glad you have
511
00:20:38,363 --> 00:20:40,115
your counseling, you know, thingamabob,
512
00:20:40,198 --> 00:20:41,199
you know, whatever this is.
513
00:20:41,282 --> 00:20:43,034
- The System.
- Sure, whatever.
514
00:20:43,118 --> 00:20:44,452
Yeah.
515
00:20:44,536 --> 00:20:45,578
It seems like it's taking up
a lot of your time.
516
00:20:45,662 --> 00:20:47,372
And this is a moment
when I could really use
517
00:20:47,414 --> 00:20:49,207
all hands on deck at home.
518
00:20:49,290 --> 00:20:50,542
What's not getting done
at home?
519
00:20:50,625 --> 00:20:53,211
I don't know if you noticed,
but our son Pontius
520
00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:56,006
has tattooed another word
on his fucking face.
521
00:20:56,047 --> 00:20:57,549
"Blessed."
I know.
522
00:20:57,632 --> 00:20:59,426
It just seems
like you're, you know,
523
00:20:59,509 --> 00:21:01,886
giving a lot of attention to
other people's relationships,
524
00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:05,056
and perhaps if you focused
more on your own,
525
00:21:05,098 --> 00:21:06,725
you know,
we wouldn't have children
526
00:21:06,808 --> 00:21:08,685
putting fucking calligraphy
on their faces.
527
00:21:08,727 --> 00:21:10,520
Look, baby, I know
that you're upset,
528
00:21:10,562 --> 00:21:12,647
but please don't
take it out on me, OK?
529
00:21:12,731 --> 00:21:14,315
A small decline
was to be expected
530
00:21:14,399 --> 00:21:15,984
with this kind of transition.
531
00:21:16,067 --> 00:21:17,027
You know it's like?
532
00:21:17,110 --> 00:21:18,528
When Jay Leno
took over for Carson.
533
00:21:18,570 --> 00:21:20,280
It was rocky there for a bit.
534
00:21:20,363 --> 00:21:22,073
But what happened in the end?
535
00:21:22,115 --> 00:21:24,367
Leno shot to the top.
536
00:21:24,409 --> 00:21:27,245
What if we're not Leno?
537
00:21:27,287 --> 00:21:28,913
What if we're just Conan?
538
00:21:30,999 --> 00:21:32,584
Fuck me.
539
00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:34,085
This ministry
helped me unlock
540
00:21:34,169 --> 00:21:36,087
the best version of myself.
541
00:21:36,171 --> 00:21:37,172
And I'm not just saying that
542
00:21:37,255 --> 00:21:38,840
because I married
into the family.
543
00:21:40,216 --> 00:21:41,968
Who knows what
Gemstone Salvation Center
544
00:21:42,052 --> 00:21:43,345
can do for you?
545
00:21:43,428 --> 00:21:46,556
Now, Janice and Tall Jay
have enrollment packages.
546
00:21:46,598 --> 00:21:50,268
Scan the QR code for easy,
step-by-step instructions
547
00:21:50,310 --> 00:21:52,437
on how to have tithing
automatically deducted
548
00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:54,606
from your account each month.
549
00:21:54,647 --> 00:21:57,984
It's never been easier
to share your praise.
550
00:22:03,281 --> 00:22:04,908
Mm.
551
00:22:04,949 --> 00:22:07,202
Man, I am crushing
my Welcome Center duties.
552
00:22:07,285 --> 00:22:08,620
They were feeling me today.
553
00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:10,121
Yeah, you're
really working it.
554
00:22:10,205 --> 00:22:11,373
That's for sure.
555
00:22:11,456 --> 00:22:12,874
Here.
I got you some gifts.
556
00:22:12,957 --> 00:22:13,958
- Gifts?
- Yeah.
557
00:22:14,042 --> 00:22:15,210
Why?
558
00:22:15,293 --> 00:22:17,379
I just was thinking about
what a good husband you are
559
00:22:17,462 --> 00:22:18,546
and how much I love you.
560
00:22:18,630 --> 00:22:19,714
Go ahead.
Take a look.
561
00:22:19,798 --> 00:22:21,132
OK.
562
00:22:21,174 --> 00:22:22,884
An infrared meat thermometer,
563
00:22:22,967 --> 00:22:24,135
Theragun,
564
00:22:24,219 --> 00:22:25,387
a VR headset.
565
00:22:25,470 --> 00:22:26,846
- Wow.
- Wow.
566
00:22:26,930 --> 00:22:28,973
I've been wanting
one of these.
567
00:22:29,015 --> 00:22:31,142
Now I can fully immerse myself
in the nature and space games
568
00:22:31,184 --> 00:22:33,311
that I gravitate toward.
569
00:22:33,395 --> 00:22:35,188
These are
really thoughtful, Judy.
570
00:22:35,271 --> 00:22:37,399
But this isn't necessary.
571
00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:39,818
Goddang, why you gotta
kick my gift horse in the nuts
572
00:22:39,859 --> 00:22:41,152
right now?
573
00:22:41,236 --> 00:22:42,821
Is everything OK?
574
00:22:42,904 --> 00:22:44,280
Feels like things
have been a little off
575
00:22:44,322 --> 00:22:46,533
since you got back from tour.
576
00:22:46,616 --> 00:22:49,202
Oh, my God.
What?
577
00:22:49,285 --> 00:22:50,662
No, everything's great.
578
00:22:50,704 --> 00:22:52,414
Why are you reading stuff
into things?
579
00:22:52,497 --> 00:22:53,790
Everything's awesome.
580
00:22:53,832 --> 00:22:55,667
I just love you.
I wanted to give you presents.
581
00:22:55,750 --> 00:22:59,587
Don't emotionally
disappoint me right now.
582
00:22:59,671 --> 00:23:02,090
Yeah, well, I love you too.
Thank you for the gifts.
583
00:23:06,678 --> 00:23:10,056
Just like any family,
we've had our ups and downs.
584
00:23:10,140 --> 00:23:14,519
And it's no secret
we've faced some controversy.
585
00:23:14,602 --> 00:23:18,314
In the early 2000s,
we found ourselves in a war
586
00:23:18,356 --> 00:23:21,151
with the press and detractors.
587
00:23:21,192 --> 00:23:22,861
My wife would stay awake,
588
00:23:22,902 --> 00:23:25,530
concerned
with how people saw her.
589
00:23:27,866 --> 00:23:30,952
That they were getting
the wrong message.
590
00:23:31,036 --> 00:23:32,495
I assured--
591
00:23:36,541 --> 00:23:38,335
Hey, mind if we take
a little break?
592
00:23:38,376 --> 00:23:41,880
Yes, sir.
We can take a small break.
593
00:23:53,808 --> 00:23:55,894
Goddamn, what the hell
are y'all cooking out here?
594
00:23:55,935 --> 00:23:58,480
- Devil's objects.
- Devil's objects?
595
00:23:58,563 --> 00:23:59,397
Man, I don't think
you're supposed
596
00:23:59,481 --> 00:24:00,398
to be burning this stuff.
597
00:24:00,482 --> 00:24:01,441
That shit's poisonous.
598
00:24:01,524 --> 00:24:03,068
Yeah, I don't feel very well.
599
00:24:03,109 --> 00:24:05,236
The smoke was green
from some of the butt plugs,
600
00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:07,655
and it smelled like pool toys.
601
00:24:07,739 --> 00:24:09,366
Keefe, how about
we take a little break
602
00:24:09,407 --> 00:24:10,575
from the burn pit?
603
00:24:10,617 --> 00:24:12,577
Give us a moment.
604
00:24:14,245 --> 00:24:15,246
What you doing here, Jesse?
605
00:24:15,330 --> 00:24:16,414
Still trying to fight?
606
00:24:16,456 --> 00:24:19,584
Talking about how you're
the only one doing things, hmm?
607
00:24:19,626 --> 00:24:22,212
No, actually, that's not
what I'm here to do.
608
00:24:22,253 --> 00:24:23,380
I came to apologize.
609
00:24:23,421 --> 00:24:24,923
Really?
610
00:24:24,964 --> 00:24:26,966
Sorry I made fun of your
Botox-indented forehead
611
00:24:27,050 --> 00:24:27,926
in front of Dusty.
612
00:24:28,009 --> 00:24:30,512
That's not how
co-church leaders should act.
613
00:24:30,595 --> 00:24:33,807
Well, I don't have
a dented Botox forehead.
614
00:24:33,890 --> 00:24:36,226
I was just...
holding my face funny.
615
00:24:36,267 --> 00:24:37,519
Well, you know,
even if you do.
616
00:24:37,602 --> 00:24:38,937
Well, I don't.
617
00:24:38,978 --> 00:24:41,648
But if you do
dye your sideburns,
618
00:24:41,731 --> 00:24:44,192
I'm sorry I said that you
look like a deformed Dracula.
619
00:24:44,234 --> 00:24:46,069
Well, I don't
dye my sideburns,
620
00:24:46,111 --> 00:24:48,113
but I accept your apology.
621
00:24:48,154 --> 00:24:49,114
Good.
622
00:24:49,197 --> 00:24:50,323
- Great.
- OK.
623
00:24:50,407 --> 00:24:52,242
Because I don't have
a Botox forehead.
624
00:24:52,283 --> 00:24:53,868
I don't do my--
625
00:24:53,952 --> 00:24:54,911
All right.
626
00:24:56,121 --> 00:24:57,580
I'm scared, Jesse.
627
00:24:57,622 --> 00:25:00,333
What if we don't have
what it takes?
628
00:25:00,417 --> 00:25:01,918
Yeah, I'm scared too.
629
00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:04,754
The only way through this,
I guess, is if...
630
00:25:04,796 --> 00:25:06,423
we just have
to rise to the occasion,
631
00:25:06,464 --> 00:25:08,299
refuse to fail.
632
00:25:08,383 --> 00:25:10,176
How we gonna do that?
633
00:25:10,260 --> 00:25:11,678
Together.
634
00:25:14,514 --> 00:25:16,016
Do we have to include Judy?
635
00:25:16,099 --> 00:25:17,892
Even that bitch.
636
00:25:27,736 --> 00:25:29,821
The diva is back, y'all.
637
00:25:29,904 --> 00:25:32,490
Ah, hey, everybody.
What's up? What's up?
638
00:25:32,532 --> 00:25:34,117
Hey, Stephen,
I'm glad you're here.
639
00:25:34,159 --> 00:25:36,411
Would you be up for going
through some guitar solo stuff
640
00:25:36,494 --> 00:25:37,912
on "Angels Lift Me Higher"?
641
00:25:37,996 --> 00:25:38,913
Sure.
642
00:25:38,997 --> 00:25:41,166
Hey, everybody, listen up.
643
00:25:41,207 --> 00:25:43,877
Stephen and I need to work on
some important creative stuff
644
00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:46,796
with guitar solo stuff
for one of the songs.
645
00:25:46,838 --> 00:25:49,758
So if everybody could leave
us alone, that'd be great.
646
00:25:49,841 --> 00:25:51,343
Y'all get it.
647
00:25:51,384 --> 00:25:52,594
Artistry.
648
00:25:52,677 --> 00:25:55,722
Get a little rest,
or get you a Coke or whatever.
649
00:25:55,805 --> 00:25:57,807
See you soon, Tamothy.
You did a great job on tour.
650
00:26:02,020 --> 00:26:03,355
Oh, fuck.
651
00:26:03,396 --> 00:26:04,356
I missed this.
652
00:26:06,483 --> 00:26:09,611
Being bad like some bitch
in an '80s movie.
653
00:26:09,694 --> 00:26:11,154
So glad I had
to come in and unload
654
00:26:11,196 --> 00:26:12,655
the last of that tour gear.
655
00:26:12,697 --> 00:26:14,783
I had to see you.
656
00:26:14,866 --> 00:26:16,910
Well, you saw me, then.
657
00:26:18,453 --> 00:26:20,830
And now it's time to nut up,
658
00:26:20,872 --> 00:26:23,458
because road head
is road head.
659
00:26:23,541 --> 00:26:25,543
That's just the rules
of the tour, OK?
660
00:26:25,627 --> 00:26:27,212
We can't be bringing
this shit home.
661
00:26:27,295 --> 00:26:31,174
We helped each other through
a very trying time in our lives
662
00:26:31,216 --> 00:26:34,177
by dry humping twice
and kissing three times.
663
00:26:34,219 --> 00:26:35,595
Now that's four.
664
00:26:35,679 --> 00:26:36,971
But we can't take this
any further,
665
00:26:37,055 --> 00:26:39,599
or we would cause
some real damage.
666
00:26:40,517 --> 00:26:41,643
So this...
667
00:26:43,895 --> 00:26:45,647
This is goodbye, Stephen.
668
00:26:45,730 --> 00:26:48,858
You're just gonna have
to suffer through the pain.
669
00:26:48,900 --> 00:26:50,985
Very well, Judy Gemstone.
670
00:27:02,205 --> 00:27:03,123
Quit, Stephen.
671
00:27:09,713 --> 00:27:11,923
I said quit.
672
00:27:12,882 --> 00:27:14,217
You understand me?
673
00:27:19,764 --> 00:27:22,058
- What the fuck is this?
- Mm.
674
00:27:22,100 --> 00:27:23,935
And that's how that part
of the song goes.
675
00:27:24,019 --> 00:27:26,479
It goes, like, up and then
down, and that's that song.
676
00:27:26,563 --> 00:27:27,564
I should go practice.
677
00:27:27,605 --> 00:27:29,691
No, you should keep
your fucking ass right here.
678
00:27:29,774 --> 00:27:31,651
You're cheating, Judy?
Gross.
679
00:27:31,735 --> 00:27:33,111
No, Kelvin,
this ain't what you think.
680
00:27:33,153 --> 00:27:34,279
Oh, it's not?
681
00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:36,364
Do you know
this young lady is married?
682
00:27:36,448 --> 00:27:38,283
Yeah.
I am too.
683
00:27:38,324 --> 00:27:40,452
Oh, yuck.
684
00:27:40,535 --> 00:27:42,245
Y'all a bunch of dirtbags.
685
00:27:42,287 --> 00:27:44,330
Kelvin, I'm trying
to tell you, you fucking dork,
686
00:27:44,414 --> 00:27:45,457
we're rehearsing a song.
687
00:27:45,498 --> 00:27:46,750
This is not a deal.
688
00:27:46,791 --> 00:27:47,959
Great rehearsal, Stephen.
689
00:27:48,043 --> 00:27:48,918
- Very good working with you.
- Good day to you.
690
00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:50,211
Thank you for rehearsing.
691
00:27:50,295 --> 00:27:51,379
Enchanté.
692
00:27:51,463 --> 00:27:52,464
Yeah, enchanté, motherfucker.
693
00:27:52,505 --> 00:27:53,548
You can go right now.
694
00:27:53,631 --> 00:27:54,966
You come back
around here again,
695
00:27:55,008 --> 00:27:56,301
I'll send your ass
straight to hell.
696
00:27:56,343 --> 00:27:57,177
I work here, though.
697
00:27:57,260 --> 00:27:58,928
Not anymore, you don't, bro.
698
00:27:58,970 --> 00:28:00,305
- He works for me.
- I work--
699
00:28:00,347 --> 00:28:01,973
As main decider,
the motherfucker is fired.
700
00:28:02,057 --> 00:28:03,433
Well, he's rehired.
Boo-yup.
701
00:28:03,475 --> 00:28:04,476
Well, guess what.
702
00:28:04,559 --> 00:28:06,936
I'm refiring him for infinity.
703
00:28:06,978 --> 00:28:08,229
- Bye-bye, bitch.
- You have to.
704
00:28:08,313 --> 00:28:09,856
- Two outvotes one.
- Get the fuck out of here.
705
00:28:09,939 --> 00:28:10,940
Begone, Stephen.
706
00:28:10,982 --> 00:28:12,567
Sugar Ray-looking
motherfucker.
707
00:28:12,609 --> 00:28:13,777
- Get the fuck out of here.
- Get out of here.
708
00:28:13,818 --> 00:28:15,904
- OK.
- You get out.
709
00:28:15,987 --> 00:28:17,614
Don't stomp him, Jesse.
710
00:28:17,655 --> 00:28:19,199
Fuck, he's leaving.
711
00:28:20,492 --> 00:28:22,077
What the fuck, Judy?
712
00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:23,119
You think we can handle
this kind
713
00:28:23,161 --> 00:28:24,496
of scandalous bullshit
right now?
714
00:28:24,537 --> 00:28:26,873
Oh, fuck off, Jesse.
715
00:28:26,956 --> 00:28:29,376
Like you ain't done your
fair share of illicit shit.
716
00:28:29,459 --> 00:28:32,170
I was on tour, y'all, OK?
717
00:28:32,253 --> 00:28:34,047
This is the shit
that happens on the road.
718
00:28:34,130 --> 00:28:36,174
What the fuck are y'all
even here for anyway?
719
00:28:36,216 --> 00:28:38,093
We came here to do
something nice, OK?
720
00:28:38,176 --> 00:28:40,387
To have a fucking
sibling bonding pep talk
721
00:28:40,470 --> 00:28:41,680
about the future.
722
00:28:41,763 --> 00:28:43,014
Instead I come here
to see this.
723
00:28:44,683 --> 00:28:45,684
Fine.
724
00:28:45,767 --> 00:28:47,686
Let's fucking pep it up, bros.
725
00:28:47,727 --> 00:28:49,187
Come on.
Sibling bonding.
726
00:28:49,229 --> 00:28:51,523
Put your hands in.
"New generation" on three.
727
00:28:51,606 --> 00:28:53,149
I'm saying how we do hands.
728
00:28:53,233 --> 00:28:54,359
We're holding hands.
729
00:28:54,401 --> 00:28:55,527
Give me your fucking hands.
730
00:28:55,610 --> 00:28:56,778
- Ugh.
- Go on.
731
00:28:56,861 --> 00:28:58,113
Hold her fucking hand.
732
00:29:00,365 --> 00:29:02,117
To the new generation.
733
00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:03,535
To united...
734
00:29:05,078 --> 00:29:06,996
OK, Jesse,
this is not natural.
735
00:29:07,038 --> 00:29:08,957
We do not hold hands.
736
00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:11,501
When the Simkins hold hands,
it seems fucking natural.
737
00:29:11,543 --> 00:29:14,045
Well, we ain't a
holding-hands family, OK, dude?
738
00:29:14,087 --> 00:29:16,172
- We never have been.
- We do hands on hands, OK?
739
00:29:16,214 --> 00:29:18,216
We're not the frickin' Simkins.
740
00:29:18,299 --> 00:29:20,427
You can sure as shit
say that again.
741
00:29:25,682 --> 00:29:27,559
Y'all don't tell on me.
742
00:30:28,912 --> 00:30:30,580
Been a while
since you've been here.
743
00:30:30,622 --> 00:30:32,248
Damn.
Yes, it has.
744
00:30:33,500 --> 00:30:36,795
I'm surprised you want
anything to do with this place
745
00:30:36,878 --> 00:30:40,048
after all the bad memories.
746
00:30:40,131 --> 00:30:41,633
It's all I got left.
747
00:30:43,301 --> 00:30:44,844
You know,
after Peter went away--
748
00:30:44,928 --> 00:30:46,262
I'm not here
to talk about Peter.
749
00:30:46,304 --> 00:30:50,517
After he went away,
the bank took the house.
750
00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:54,813
Boys turned mean, bitter.
751
00:30:54,854 --> 00:30:57,023
They scare me, Eli.
752
00:30:57,107 --> 00:30:59,818
I know you haven't spoken
to the family in many years.
753
00:30:59,901 --> 00:31:00,944
I had good reason for that.
754
00:31:00,985 --> 00:31:02,278
And I had good reason
to do what I done.
755
00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:03,988
- Oh, here we go.
- Oh, here we go.
756
00:31:04,030 --> 00:31:05,907
Look at you,
Mr. Hotshot Preacher.
757
00:31:05,990 --> 00:31:07,409
You got more piss
and vinegar
758
00:31:07,492 --> 00:31:10,370
than you did
when you was begging for help.
759
00:31:13,498 --> 00:31:14,624
What's this about?
760
00:31:16,835 --> 00:31:18,253
Peter got out.
761
00:31:18,336 --> 00:31:21,006
My boys left me
and followed him.
762
00:31:21,089 --> 00:31:22,507
I think they're in trouble.
763
00:31:22,590 --> 00:31:25,260
I don't know if they're
selling guns or drugs or what.
764
00:31:25,343 --> 00:31:27,846
You expect me
to do something?
765
00:31:27,929 --> 00:31:30,682
I'd die without my boys.
766
00:31:30,724 --> 00:31:31,850
I got no one else.
767
00:31:31,891 --> 00:31:33,476
Please, Eli.
768
00:31:34,894 --> 00:31:37,897
After all this time,
why should I help you?
769
00:31:40,025 --> 00:31:42,861
Because you're
my big brother, Eli.
770
00:31:49,075 --> 00:31:50,785
Please help us win, God.
771
00:31:50,869 --> 00:31:52,704
Please help everyone
accept us and for us
772
00:31:52,787 --> 00:31:56,291
to be triumphant over those
that would seek to destroy us.
773
00:32:27,030 --> 00:32:28,615
Do we have confirmed visual?
774
00:32:32,827 --> 00:32:35,121
Visual confirmed.
775
00:32:35,205 --> 00:32:36,915
Take the motherfucker
to church.
776
00:33:02,148 --> 00:33:03,525
You drove right into me.
777
00:33:03,566 --> 00:33:05,026
You fucked up my bumper.
778
00:33:05,110 --> 00:33:06,528
Oh, don't even try it.
779
00:33:06,611 --> 00:33:08,196
You were at fault here.
780
00:33:08,279 --> 00:33:09,614
Let's see your insurance.
781
00:33:09,698 --> 00:33:11,074
It's behind you.
782
00:33:13,326 --> 00:33:16,121
all: Shut it down!
Shut it down!
783
00:33:16,162 --> 00:33:18,707
Shut it down!
784
00:33:18,790 --> 00:33:20,375
all: Shut it down!
785
00:33:31,636 --> 00:33:32,929
Take that.
786
00:33:33,013 --> 00:33:36,016
all: Shut it down!
Shut it down! Shut it down!
787
00:33:36,099 --> 00:33:37,308
Oh!
788
00:33:37,350 --> 00:33:38,810
Help!
789
00:33:38,852 --> 00:33:41,021
Get out of here.
Shut it down!
790
00:33:41,104 --> 00:33:43,398
all: Shut it down!
Shut it down!
55834
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