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1
00:00:02,236 --> 00:00:05,170
(theme song playing)
2
00:01:24,384 --> 00:01:26,885
Elaine, Elaine, I don't think
we should be doing this.
3
00:01:26,921 --> 00:01:29,388
Oh, no. Come on, Alex.
4
00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:31,857
This may be our only
chance to meet Craig Eagen.
5
00:01:31,892 --> 00:01:33,324
You said you
loved his paintings.
6
00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:35,026
You said you wanted to meet him.
7
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I know. I said that before.
8
00:01:36,062 --> 00:01:37,173
You told me he
was a total recluse.
9
00:01:37,197 --> 00:01:38,463
Oh, those are just stories.
10
00:01:38,499 --> 00:01:40,465
I'm sure they're exaggerated.
11
00:01:40,501 --> 00:01:42,434
CRAIG: Whoever you are, go away!
12
00:01:42,469 --> 00:01:43,780
That was fun.
Thank you very much.
13
00:01:43,804 --> 00:01:45,036
Let's go. No, come on.
14
00:01:45,072 --> 00:01:47,405
Uh, Mr. Eagen, it's Elaine
Nardo and Alex Reiger.
15
00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:49,340
I'm from the Hazeltine Gallery.
16
00:01:49,376 --> 00:01:52,177
I brought the painting
for you to authenticate.
17
00:01:52,212 --> 00:01:55,046
CRAIG: Oh, yeah, well, just
leave it there in the hallway
18
00:01:55,082 --> 00:01:56,714
and pick it up tomorrow, okay?
19
00:01:59,219 --> 00:02:02,420
Um, Mr. Eagen, we really
need to know this right away.
20
00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:04,256
Uh, do you think you could just
21
00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:06,458
open the door a
crack and take a look?
22
00:02:06,493 --> 00:02:09,060
CRAIG: Oh. No, I-I
couldn't do that at all, no.
23
00:02:09,095 --> 00:02:11,463
I have a... an extremely
vicious dog in here.
24
00:02:11,498 --> 00:02:13,899
(growling, barking,
glass clinking)
25
00:02:13,934 --> 00:02:15,467
(fabric tearing)
26
00:02:15,502 --> 00:02:16,768
Go to your place!
27
00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:19,104
(dog whimpering)
28
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:21,206
Let's forget it.
29
00:02:21,241 --> 00:02:23,575
No, no, no. Come on,
we've come this far.
30
00:02:23,610 --> 00:02:26,044
Uh, Mr. Eagen, I-I realize
31
00:02:26,079 --> 00:02:27,646
that you're a very
private person,
32
00:02:27,681 --> 00:02:29,247
but this'll only take a minute.
33
00:02:29,282 --> 00:02:32,618
Mr. Eagen, we're
big fans of yours.
34
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:34,586
(loud clattering)
35
00:02:36,257 --> 00:02:38,890
(footsteps running)
36
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:47,032
Hello?
37
00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:50,735
ELAINE: Where is he?
38
00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:59,444
Hello?
39
00:03:03,150 --> 00:03:05,083
Maybe that's him.
40
00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:09,454
Where's your dog?
41
00:03:12,092 --> 00:03:16,361
Uh... I have a, uh,
confession to make.
42
00:03:16,397 --> 00:03:17,429
ALEX: Well, what's that?
43
00:03:17,464 --> 00:03:20,798
(growling and barking)
44
00:03:21,968 --> 00:03:23,234
Craig, go to your spot.
45
00:03:23,270 --> 00:03:24,536
(whimpering)
46
00:03:24,571 --> 00:03:26,505
I see.
47
00:03:28,075 --> 00:03:30,375
So, is that the,
uh, the painting?
48
00:03:30,410 --> 00:03:31,542
Uh, yes, it is.
49
00:03:31,578 --> 00:03:32,711
(clears throat)
50
00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:39,551
Yeah, that's, that's
mine, that's mine.
51
00:03:39,586 --> 00:03:42,787
Say, you know why I
recognize this apartment?
52
00:03:42,822 --> 00:03:44,522
You've painted this
whole apartment
53
00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:46,224
in bits and pieces.
54
00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:47,892
I-I recognize this chair.
55
00:03:47,927 --> 00:03:49,193
I saw the paint... Oh.
56
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:51,730
You painted this table. I, um...
57
00:03:51,765 --> 00:03:53,265
Oh, hey, listen, I'm sorry.
58
00:03:53,300 --> 00:03:55,767
I, uh... I guess I'm making
you feel uncomfortable, huh?
59
00:03:55,802 --> 00:03:57,769
Oh, no. No. No, not at all.
60
00:04:00,340 --> 00:04:02,607
Oh, well, I think
we'd better go.
61
00:04:03,710 --> 00:04:05,143
Come on, Elaine.
62
00:04:05,178 --> 00:04:06,577
Here you are.
63
00:04:06,613 --> 00:04:07,812
Thank you very much.
64
00:04:07,847 --> 00:04:09,381
You know, I can't tell you
65
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:11,349
what a pleasure
it is to meet you.
66
00:04:11,385 --> 00:04:12,851
I... I think you're a genius.
67
00:04:12,886 --> 00:04:14,686
Ah. Oh. Oh.
68
00:04:14,721 --> 00:04:16,321
Anyway, you know, I, uh...
69
00:04:16,356 --> 00:04:19,224
Frankly, I don't... I don't
have a lot of visitors, you know,
70
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:20,959
and, uh, I know
I should probably
71
00:04:20,994 --> 00:04:22,193
offer you some coffee, and...
72
00:04:22,228 --> 00:04:23,427
Oh, that'd be nice.
73
00:04:23,463 --> 00:04:24,741
CRAIG: But I... No,
unfortunately, I've just...
74
00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:26,208
I just don't have
any coffee, you know.
75
00:04:26,232 --> 00:04:27,365
Oh. Okay.
76
00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:28,533
Elaine, let's go.
77
00:04:28,568 --> 00:04:30,669
Stay where you are. You know,
78
00:04:30,704 --> 00:04:32,448
how would you like to
go out for some coffee?
79
00:04:32,472 --> 00:04:33,438
Oh, yeah, that sounds great.
80
00:04:33,473 --> 00:04:34,573
Well... I'd love it.
81
00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:35,952
Okay, great. I'll
put the water on,
82
00:04:35,976 --> 00:04:38,343
and you go down and
get the coffee, okay?
83
00:04:38,378 --> 00:04:41,046
Oh, I thought you were
inviting us out for coffee.
84
00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:42,547
Out? No, no, no.
85
00:04:42,582 --> 00:04:43,815
Well, I-I guess I-I should...
86
00:04:43,850 --> 00:04:45,283
I should... I should tell you
87
00:04:45,319 --> 00:04:46,885
that, uh, I'm, uh...
I'm agoraphobic.
88
00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:49,054
Oh. I don't know
what that means.
89
00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:51,089
I do.
90
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:53,558
Yes, Alex? ALEX: Ah.
91
00:04:53,593 --> 00:04:54,960
It means you're
afraid of heights.
92
00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:56,327
No, no, that's acrophobia.
93
00:04:57,831 --> 00:04:59,398
I have that a little bit, too,
94
00:04:59,433 --> 00:05:01,166
but not-not quite as
severe as agoraphobia.
95
00:05:01,201 --> 00:05:03,313
Agoraphobia means...
especially in my particular case...
96
00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:06,138
It means I have total
terror of leaving my studio.
97
00:05:06,173 --> 00:05:07,906
I thought that was Anglophobia.
98
00:05:07,941 --> 00:05:09,107
No, no, no.
99
00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,475
That's fear of England.
100
00:05:10,510 --> 00:05:11,743
Yeah.
101
00:05:11,778 --> 00:05:14,679
Yeah, I have... I have... I
have sort of just a whisper
102
00:05:14,714 --> 00:05:15,847
of that myself, but...
103
00:05:15,883 --> 00:05:17,482
not as severe
as the other stuff.
104
00:05:17,517 --> 00:05:18,716
I mean, for instance,
105
00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:22,654
the name Alistair Cooke
gives me the shivers.
106
00:05:22,689 --> 00:05:25,823
So, wait. If you're afraid
to leave your studio,
107
00:05:25,859 --> 00:05:28,093
what do you do when you go out?
108
00:05:28,128 --> 00:05:30,094
I just don't go out.
109
00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:36,835
What is it that you're afraid
will happen if you go out there?
110
00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:38,169
Oh, it's... That's...
111
00:05:38,205 --> 00:05:39,504
It's so difficult to explain.
112
00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:42,307
It would take a very long time.
113
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:43,508
Well, try.
114
00:05:43,543 --> 00:05:44,843
Elaine, Elaine.
115
00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:46,411
Hey, uh, you'd
probably be happier
116
00:05:46,446 --> 00:05:48,246
if we left you
alone, wouldn't you?
117
00:05:48,281 --> 00:05:50,548
Yeah, I would.
118
00:05:50,584 --> 00:05:52,417
Yeah. Thanks for understanding.
119
00:05:52,452 --> 00:05:53,718
Okay. Come on, Elaine.
120
00:05:53,754 --> 00:05:55,119
I'm not leaving.
121
00:05:55,154 --> 00:05:57,022
Elaine, the man
wants you to leave.
122
00:05:57,057 --> 00:05:59,024
He wants help. Look at him.
123
00:05:59,059 --> 00:06:01,993
Elaine. Elaine, now look,
this is out of your league.
124
00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:03,862
That man is damn near psychotic.
125
00:06:03,897 --> 00:06:04,863
Uh, no offense.
126
00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:05,664
None taken.
127
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:08,033
Look, Elaine, I'm gonna leave.
128
00:06:08,068 --> 00:06:09,434
Okay, go.
129
00:06:09,469 --> 00:06:11,536
It was nice to meet
you, Mr. Eagen.
130
00:06:11,571 --> 00:06:14,105
Oh. Oh, it was very nice
meeting you, Mr. Reiger.
131
00:06:14,140 --> 00:06:15,607
I'm going.
132
00:06:15,642 --> 00:06:17,709
Fine. (door closes)
133
00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:26,584
Um, I'm sorry about that. Um...
134
00:06:28,688 --> 00:06:30,221
Do you want me to leave?
135
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:35,160
I... I don't know.
136
00:06:35,195 --> 00:06:37,362
See, I didn't mean
to intrude on you.
137
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,364
I... Oh, I'm sorry.
138
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:40,698
No. That's okay.
139
00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:43,968
I'm, I'm not genophobic.
140
00:06:44,003 --> 00:06:47,038
That means you have
no fear of touching?
141
00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:50,675
No, it means I
have no fear of sex.
142
00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:54,211
As long as it's right here,
right now, pronto, see?
143
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:55,647
Oh.
144
00:06:55,682 --> 00:06:57,949
I'm just kidding.
145
00:07:02,922 --> 00:07:08,226
See... I just can't believe
146
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:11,329
that somebody like
you can't just, you know,
147
00:07:11,365 --> 00:07:16,334
walk through that door,
and-and-and take a drive or...
148
00:07:16,370 --> 00:07:17,936
God, go to a museum.
149
00:07:17,971 --> 00:07:19,103
No, there's nothing...
150
00:07:19,139 --> 00:07:20,549
There's nothing
depressing about it at all.
151
00:07:20,573 --> 00:07:22,707
No? No, I have a
wonderful life here.
152
00:07:22,742 --> 00:07:24,008
I have everything I want.
153
00:07:24,044 --> 00:07:26,445
I got practically two of
everything I want, actually.
154
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:28,847
You got a real ark, huh?
155
00:07:28,882 --> 00:07:30,115
Okay.
156
00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:32,217
That's nice. I like that.
157
00:07:32,252 --> 00:07:34,118
Have you always been like this?
158
00:07:34,154 --> 00:07:35,520
No? No, uh-uh, no.
159
00:07:35,555 --> 00:07:37,399
As a kid, I was afraid of
all the sort of normal things.
160
00:07:37,423 --> 00:07:38,567
You know? I'm still listening.
161
00:07:38,591 --> 00:07:40,236
Like, I was afraid of
the dark, and lightning...
162
00:07:40,260 --> 00:07:41,904
How about the hallway?
And loud noises and fish.
163
00:07:41,928 --> 00:07:43,061
But I don't know.
164
00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:44,529
As I got older, I started
165
00:07:44,564 --> 00:07:46,297
getting more afraid
of more things.
166
00:07:46,332 --> 00:07:48,265
Let me help you.
167
00:07:52,071 --> 00:07:54,038
Many have tried.
168
00:07:54,073 --> 00:07:55,239
(laughs)
169
00:08:17,630 --> 00:08:19,431
Come on, just the hallway?
170
00:08:19,466 --> 00:08:20,765
Just one step?
171
00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:23,335
I'm right here.
172
00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:27,138
We did it! Oh.
173
00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:28,273
I don't believe it!
174
00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:30,174
I don't believe it!
You did it, Craig.
175
00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:31,809
I'm gonna do it
again, all right? Okay.
176
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:34,078
All right, I'm gonna do it
again. All right, all right.
177
00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:35,880
I'm gonna do it
myself, all right? Fine.
178
00:08:35,915 --> 00:08:37,126
You don't mind? No offense. No.
179
00:08:37,150 --> 00:08:37,949
(laughs)
180
00:08:37,984 --> 00:08:39,128
I did it again! I did it again!
181
00:08:39,152 --> 00:08:40,484
Oh, Craig, that's wonderful!
182
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,265
I'm gonna do it with my
eyes closed now, all right?
183
00:08:42,289 --> 00:08:43,421
Oh, okay. Okay, now watch.
184
00:08:43,456 --> 00:08:44,655
Is this the door? God. Okay.
185
00:08:44,690 --> 00:08:45,957
Ah. How do you like that?
186
00:08:45,992 --> 00:08:47,359
I loved it. All right.
187
00:08:47,394 --> 00:08:49,427
Now one for the tango.
188
00:08:49,463 --> 00:08:51,429
Yeah, I'm really cooking now.
189
00:08:51,464 --> 00:08:53,564
Oh, God, I can't
wait till I tell Alex.
190
00:08:59,273 --> 00:09:02,440
Oh, Alex, I got to talk to you.
191
00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:05,210
Well, if it isn't Nurse Ratched.
192
00:09:05,245 --> 00:09:07,212
What are you doing here?
193
00:09:07,247 --> 00:09:09,147
Who's watching
little cuckoo's nest?
194
00:09:09,182 --> 00:09:10,448
(laughing): Oh, you.
195
00:09:10,484 --> 00:09:12,817
Listen, I got to tell
you what's going on.
196
00:09:12,852 --> 00:09:13,985
I mean... (gasps)
197
00:09:14,020 --> 00:09:15,686
I used to be hard of hearing,
198
00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:18,123
but now that you touched
me, I can hear again.
199
00:09:18,158 --> 00:09:19,490
She's doing it again, folks.
200
00:09:19,525 --> 00:09:22,060
I love my cage.
201
00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:25,096
I think of it as a
window on the world.
202
00:09:25,131 --> 00:09:27,032
Come here, Jeff.
203
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:29,901
There seems to be another
interesting tale unfolding.
204
00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:33,805
Alex walks away from Elaine.
205
00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:36,074
Elaine follows.
206
00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:38,542
Could there be a problem?
207
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:41,846
Alex, I am making
amazing progress with Craig.
208
00:09:41,882 --> 00:09:43,982
Yes, and he's making
amazing progress with you.
209
00:09:44,017 --> 00:09:45,950
Now you're both nuts.
210
00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:47,385
Why?
211
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:48,619
Why? Yeah.
212
00:09:48,654 --> 00:09:49,999
Why don't you get this
man to a qualified doctor?
213
00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:51,155
That's why. Okay.
214
00:09:51,190 --> 00:09:52,724
Yeah, there must be some doctor
215
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:55,427
who specializes
in... (sputtering)
216
00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:58,229
Sorry for interrupting.
217
00:09:58,264 --> 00:09:59,864
She turns.
218
00:09:59,899 --> 00:10:01,833
Louie!
219
00:10:03,536 --> 00:10:05,503
He walks to his mailbox now.
220
00:10:05,538 --> 00:10:06,771
Oh. Mm-hmm.
221
00:10:06,806 --> 00:10:08,172
On command?
222
00:10:08,207 --> 00:10:09,340
Would you listen?
223
00:10:09,375 --> 00:10:11,275
And we had lunch
on the fire escape.
224
00:10:11,310 --> 00:10:12,443
Mm-hmm.
225
00:10:12,478 --> 00:10:14,112
And he went inside
of an elevator.
226
00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:15,279
Wow.
227
00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:16,681
It is so thrilling to see him
228
00:10:16,716 --> 00:10:18,360
actually considering
coming out into the world.
229
00:10:18,384 --> 00:10:20,251
And I figured out how to do it.
230
00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:24,456
See, he has agreed
to get into my cab,
231
00:10:24,491 --> 00:10:27,525
and so I thought that I
would bring him here.
232
00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:29,527
Oh, Elaine, for crying out loud.
233
00:10:29,562 --> 00:10:32,163
No! Alex, it's perfect.
234
00:10:32,198 --> 00:10:33,932
I told him all about the guys,
235
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:35,566
and the guys know all about him,
236
00:10:35,601 --> 00:10:37,201
and it's like he
knows them already,
237
00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:40,438
so no one will
seem strange to him.
238
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:42,106
Just my luck.
239
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:44,075
Nothing to throw away.
240
00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:52,750
Elaine, for some strange
reason... I don't know why...
241
00:10:52,786 --> 00:10:54,519
I don't think
that's a great idea.
242
00:10:54,554 --> 00:10:55,987
Besides, if you make a mistake,
243
00:10:56,022 --> 00:10:57,467
you're never going
to forgive yourself.
244
00:10:57,491 --> 00:10:59,557
You may do irreparable
damage to that man.
245
00:10:59,593 --> 00:11:00,825
You don't fool around
246
00:11:00,861 --> 00:11:02,827
with this stuff unless
you're trained. Period.
247
00:11:02,862 --> 00:11:06,831
Oh, Alex, don't you think I
know what you're talking about?
248
00:11:06,866 --> 00:11:08,299
And if you keep this up,
249
00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:10,835
I'm going to start listening,
because I'm scared, too.
250
00:11:10,870 --> 00:11:13,570
But please don't take
this away from me.
251
00:11:13,606 --> 00:11:15,606
I feel so worthwhile.
252
00:11:15,641 --> 00:11:18,543
Please don't undermine
my confidences.
253
00:11:18,578 --> 00:11:20,178
Elaine... Besides which,
254
00:11:20,213 --> 00:11:21,379
how do you think
255
00:11:21,414 --> 00:11:23,781
they cure people of
their phobias, huh?
256
00:11:23,817 --> 00:11:26,283
By carefully exposing them
257
00:11:26,319 --> 00:11:28,186
to the thing that
they're afraid of
258
00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:30,688
until their fear is gone.
259
00:11:30,723 --> 00:11:32,490
And that's exactly
what I'm doing.
260
00:11:32,526 --> 00:11:35,860
With love and care
and understanding.
261
00:11:35,895 --> 00:11:37,862
Nardo, help me.
262
00:11:37,897 --> 00:11:40,831
I got a phobia
about getting naked.
263
00:11:42,034 --> 00:11:43,968
Louie, you'd better
behave yourself
264
00:11:44,003 --> 00:11:45,737
when Craig comes in here.
265
00:11:45,772 --> 00:11:47,739
Ooh, I love you!
266
00:11:47,774 --> 00:11:49,106
I'm bringing him tomorrow.
267
00:11:56,483 --> 00:11:57,949
Reiger, you still here?
268
00:11:57,984 --> 00:11:59,250
Yeah.
269
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:02,119
What's the matter?
270
00:12:03,757 --> 00:12:05,556
I don't know, I
just think that, uh,
271
00:12:05,592 --> 00:12:07,892
Elaine's making a
mistake bringing him here.
272
00:12:10,997 --> 00:12:12,464
You mad at her?
273
00:12:12,499 --> 00:12:14,766
No, I'm scared, Louie.
274
00:12:16,369 --> 00:12:18,469
Whew.
275
00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:26,310
Hey, Reiger, (blowing, spitting)
276
00:12:28,582 --> 00:12:31,683
See this bottle? Yeah?
277
00:12:31,718 --> 00:12:35,753
This is an expensive
vintage wine that I got
278
00:12:35,789 --> 00:12:39,057
from one of my
first fares in 1957.
279
00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:41,725
And I've been waiting
280
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:44,329
for the right
occasion to open it up.
281
00:12:44,364 --> 00:12:45,763
This sure ain't it.
282
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:48,277
I wouldn't break out a bottle
283
00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:50,768
of Yoo-hoo for this one.
284
00:12:50,803 --> 00:12:52,770
But let's talk.
285
00:12:52,805 --> 00:12:55,540
I don't want to talk,
I don't want to talk.
286
00:12:55,575 --> 00:12:59,177
No, no, listen, I, I
know what's wrong.
287
00:12:59,212 --> 00:13:01,045
You went against
your better judgment
288
00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:03,014
and you trusted Elaine.
289
00:13:03,049 --> 00:13:05,617
We've all trusted skirts.
290
00:13:05,652 --> 00:13:07,051
We've all paid.
291
00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:11,288
The man who gave
me this bottle of wine...
292
00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:12,389
Listen to me, this'll,
293
00:13:12,425 --> 00:13:13,958
this'll get your mind off it.
294
00:13:13,993 --> 00:13:16,861
The man who gave
me this bottle of wine
295
00:13:16,896 --> 00:13:19,931
was a man that women loved.
296
00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:23,801
His name was Errol Flynn.
297
00:13:27,774 --> 00:13:29,808
Errol Flynn.
298
00:13:29,843 --> 00:13:31,843
Interested, huh?
299
00:13:31,878 --> 00:13:33,812
All right.
300
00:13:35,782 --> 00:13:39,083
I'm a rookie cab driver, right?
301
00:13:39,119 --> 00:13:40,251
Errol Flynn
302
00:13:40,286 --> 00:13:45,223
gets into my cab with
two beautiful women.
303
00:13:45,258 --> 00:13:47,091
Better than beautiful women.
304
00:13:47,126 --> 00:13:48,526
Cheap women.
305
00:13:50,196 --> 00:13:53,698
He's sitting back there with
an arm around each of them.
306
00:13:53,733 --> 00:13:55,133
Right?
307
00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:57,635
Now, I got this problem
because in those days,
308
00:13:57,671 --> 00:14:00,304
our rearview mirrors
are only so big.
309
00:14:00,339 --> 00:14:02,606
My luck, I could only see him.
310
00:14:03,609 --> 00:14:06,777
But he was smiling, Reiger.
311
00:14:06,812 --> 00:14:09,113
Smiling from ear to ear.
312
00:14:09,148 --> 00:14:11,348
Ooh!
313
00:14:11,384 --> 00:14:13,985
The old swashbuckler
was never happier.
314
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:15,987
(smarmy laughter)
315
00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:18,456
All right.
316
00:14:18,491 --> 00:14:19,957
You should have
seen these, Reiger.
317
00:14:19,992 --> 00:14:24,028
I can still smell their perfume.
318
00:14:24,063 --> 00:14:28,099
It was... Thick, you know?
319
00:14:28,134 --> 00:14:30,201
All right, he says to me,
320
00:14:30,236 --> 00:14:33,171
"Take me to the
Hotel Pierre, kid."
321
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:34,505
So, I take him.
322
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:38,976
We get there and he is
totally passed out cold.
323
00:14:39,012 --> 00:14:41,612
Can't feel a thing.
324
00:14:41,647 --> 00:14:43,780
There's no doorman around.
325
00:14:43,816 --> 00:14:45,383
So, what could I do?
326
00:14:45,418 --> 00:14:47,252
Me and the two babes rolled him.
327
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:56,360
He had $184, a pirate knife
328
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:59,030
and this bottle of wine.
329
00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:02,166
I was so thrilled, I was a kid.
330
00:15:02,201 --> 00:15:06,803
All the dames wanted
was the knife and the wine.
331
00:15:06,839 --> 00:15:09,206
So, I took the $184.
332
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:12,376
Then they put the
knife to my throat
333
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:15,313
and sold me the
bottle of wine for $184.
334
00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:20,017
So, you see?
335
00:15:20,052 --> 00:15:25,322
Errol trusted women and lost.
336
00:15:25,358 --> 00:15:28,826
I trusted women and lost.
337
00:15:28,862 --> 00:15:31,028
What chance does an
anteater like you have?
338
00:15:37,570 --> 00:15:39,870
Thank you, Louie.
339
00:15:46,980 --> 00:15:48,446
ELAINE: Now, don't worry.
340
00:15:48,481 --> 00:15:50,315
They might not even notice you.
341
00:16:00,259 --> 00:16:02,627
Hey, everyone,
we have a visitor.
342
00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:05,930
Guys, I want you to
meet Craig Eagen.
343
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,932
Craig, I want you
to meet the guys.
344
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,734
(thud, lock clicks)
345
00:16:11,805 --> 00:16:14,305
Um, he locked the door.
346
00:16:14,340 --> 00:16:15,640
ALEX: Mm-hmm.
347
00:16:15,675 --> 00:16:16,708
It's okay.
348
00:16:21,580 --> 00:16:22,891
I, I don't know, I
really think I've done
349
00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:24,215
all I can for right now, okay?
350
00:16:24,250 --> 00:16:25,816
Oh, sure. This is major.
351
00:16:25,851 --> 00:16:27,318
Craig, it's really okay. Great.
352
00:16:27,353 --> 00:16:29,564
You know, why, why don't
we just rest for a minute, okay?
353
00:16:29,588 --> 00:16:30,754
Great, all right, okay.
354
00:16:30,789 --> 00:16:32,223
JIM: Psst.
355
00:16:32,258 --> 00:16:33,624
Psst, psst.
356
00:16:33,659 --> 00:16:35,626
Psst.
357
00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:36,995
What?
358
00:16:37,030 --> 00:16:39,563
Should we all rest or just him?
359
00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:43,934
That's...
360
00:16:43,969 --> 00:16:46,570
Reverend Jim, yeah. Right.
361
00:16:46,605 --> 00:16:49,540
Hey, uh, would you
like to meet him?
362
00:16:50,643 --> 00:16:52,910
I don't know.
363
00:16:52,945 --> 00:16:56,313
Jim, why don't you get
in the back seat with Craig
364
00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:58,783
and, uh, talk to him a minute,
365
00:16:58,818 --> 00:17:01,051
'cause it, it would be so nice
366
00:17:01,087 --> 00:17:03,187
if he'd come out
for just a little while.
367
00:17:03,222 --> 00:17:05,089
Sure.
368
00:17:09,929 --> 00:17:11,195
Ahem!
369
00:17:12,298 --> 00:17:15,800
Uh, I think I'll
lock my door, too.
370
00:17:18,804 --> 00:17:22,106
Take me to Yankee Stadium.
371
00:17:22,141 --> 00:17:24,709
(laughing)
372
00:17:24,744 --> 00:17:28,279
Uh... (clearing throat)
373
00:17:28,314 --> 00:17:30,681
Now that we're close,
374
00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:33,518
why don't you join me
in the great outdoors?
375
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:36,521
I'd really like to very much,
376
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:38,255
but I'm, I feel kind of numb.
377
00:17:38,290 --> 00:17:40,725
And I don't think I can
move right now, okay?
378
00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:44,528
Listen, Craig...
379
00:17:44,563 --> 00:17:48,298
not only do I
understand how you feel,
380
00:17:48,334 --> 00:17:52,302
but I used to pay
hard-earned money
381
00:17:52,338 --> 00:17:55,672
to get to feel the way you feel.
382
00:17:58,111 --> 00:17:59,643
Excuse me.
383
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:11,121
I couldn't do anything
for him, but I love him.
384
00:18:12,491 --> 00:18:14,458
Let me talk to him.
385
00:18:14,493 --> 00:18:15,559
(knocks on door)
386
00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:22,100
How you doing?
387
00:18:22,135 --> 00:18:23,334
(muttering)
388
00:18:23,369 --> 00:18:24,502
I'm Tony.
389
00:18:24,537 --> 00:18:26,370
You know what I
do when I feel wired?
390
00:18:26,405 --> 00:18:28,238
I play handball.
391
00:18:28,274 --> 00:18:29,874
You hit the ball
against the wall, right?
392
00:18:29,909 --> 00:18:31,742
(bangs door) Bam!
It comes back at you.
393
00:18:31,777 --> 00:18:32,955
You hit it against
the wall again.
394
00:18:32,979 --> 00:18:35,279
(bangs door) Bam! It
comes back at you again!
395
00:18:35,314 --> 00:18:36,592
And you hit it against the
wall again! Don't hit it again.
396
00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:38,849
Please! Bam! It comes
back to you again.
397
00:18:38,884 --> 00:18:41,952
You do that until your
hand is like a raw cutlet.
398
00:18:41,987 --> 00:18:43,754
You do that long enough,
399
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:45,522
you're too
exhausted to feel bad.
400
00:18:48,494 --> 00:18:52,129
Could I talk to the guy
who's on drugs again?
401
00:18:54,433 --> 00:18:57,335
Hey, look, you
know what I think?
402
00:18:57,370 --> 00:18:59,170
I say, you pull up your socks,
403
00:18:59,205 --> 00:19:00,737
and the two of us
get out of this cab
404
00:19:00,773 --> 00:19:02,373
together right now.
What do you say?
405
00:19:02,408 --> 00:19:04,575
I swear, I'd really like
to, I would, I'd like to
406
00:19:04,610 --> 00:19:06,555
but that would mean I'd
have to pry my fingers loose
407
00:19:06,579 --> 00:19:08,939
from this seat, and I don't
think that's possible right now.
408
00:19:10,850 --> 00:19:13,784
Ah, look, hang in there, baby.
409
00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:15,386
Hey, nobody thinks
you're a bad guy.
410
00:19:15,421 --> 00:19:17,521
Thanks a lot.
411
00:19:17,557 --> 00:19:20,090
Next time I'll give jump rope.
412
00:19:30,603 --> 00:19:31,969
Hey, uh,
413
00:19:32,005 --> 00:19:34,505
we're just gonna
sit here, you know?
414
00:19:34,541 --> 00:19:36,474
Hey, you want a cigar?
415
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,843
No, no, thanks, no.
416
00:19:38,878 --> 00:19:42,680
You know, uh, I do
some stage work.
417
00:19:42,715 --> 00:19:43,781
Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah.
418
00:19:43,816 --> 00:19:44,948
I didn't know that.
419
00:19:44,984 --> 00:19:46,127
I didn't know
that, that's great.
420
00:19:46,151 --> 00:19:50,120
Yeah, I did eight
things professionally.
421
00:19:50,155 --> 00:19:54,058
And I got scared every
time I went out there.
422
00:19:54,093 --> 00:19:55,960
But...
423
00:19:55,995 --> 00:19:59,096
You got to go out there if
you want to play that part.
424
00:19:59,131 --> 00:20:00,364
D-Do you know what I mean?
425
00:20:00,399 --> 00:20:02,266
Yeah.
426
00:20:02,301 --> 00:20:04,701
You're making a comparison
between my problem
427
00:20:04,737 --> 00:20:06,504
and being an actor on the stage.
428
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:08,672
Yeah, that's right, I mean,
429
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:11,408
but I got scared; I
mean, I used to shake.
430
00:20:11,443 --> 00:20:12,843
But something
always used to happen.
431
00:20:12,879 --> 00:20:15,813
I'd remember Peter
O'Toole, he said
432
00:20:15,848 --> 00:20:20,150
he said, "If they think they
can do it better than me,
433
00:20:20,185 --> 00:20:22,987
then why aren't they up
here doing it themselves?"
434
00:20:23,022 --> 00:20:23,888
Yeah. And that always gave me
435
00:20:23,923 --> 00:20:25,690
the inspiration to go on.
436
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:27,491
That's great. He said that?
437
00:20:27,526 --> 00:20:30,828
Yeah.
438
00:20:30,863 --> 00:20:32,562
But what if,
439
00:20:32,598 --> 00:20:35,132
what if Lawrence Olivier
and Marlon Brando
440
00:20:35,168 --> 00:20:37,201
and Vanessa Redgrave
were sitting out there?
441
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:40,671
I never thought of that.
442
00:20:40,707 --> 00:20:42,173
And then, and then,
443
00:20:42,208 --> 00:20:43,507
and then what if
Ralph Richardson
444
00:20:43,542 --> 00:20:45,876
and Paul Scofield
and John Gielgud
445
00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:47,522
happened to be sitting
right next to them?
446
00:20:47,546 --> 00:20:49,813
All of them?
447
00:20:49,849 --> 00:20:51,682
As a matter of
fact, what if, what if
448
00:20:51,717 --> 00:20:53,617
it was an actors benefit
and every great actor
449
00:20:53,653 --> 00:20:56,220
in the whole world was sitting
out there, then what do you do?
450
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:58,489
I don't deserve to
be in the theater.
451
00:21:00,526 --> 00:21:01,291
Bob...
452
00:21:01,327 --> 00:21:03,293
Alex, I stink. Yeah.
453
00:21:03,329 --> 00:21:04,995
Yeah, I know, we'll
talk about that later.
454
00:21:05,030 --> 00:21:06,129
Come on.
455
00:21:09,735 --> 00:21:11,135
Yeah, all right.
456
00:21:11,170 --> 00:21:13,571
Uh, just, uh, let me
talk to him, all right?
457
00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:15,138
It's about time, Alex.
458
00:21:15,174 --> 00:21:16,973
Now we'll finally get
him out of the cab.
459
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:23,881
Listen, Craig...
460
00:21:26,986 --> 00:21:28,852
I think we'd better
take you home.
461
00:21:28,887 --> 00:21:30,320
All right?
462
00:21:32,424 --> 00:21:34,325
Elaine, I think you'd
better drive him home.
463
00:21:34,360 --> 00:21:36,661
Yeah, I think that's a very
good idea. Okay, look, Craig
464
00:21:36,696 --> 00:21:38,006
don't feel bad about
it. I don't, I don't.
465
00:21:38,030 --> 00:21:39,641
It's only your first day.
You were so wonderful.
466
00:21:39,665 --> 00:21:41,076
Okay, Elaine why don't
you take him home.
467
00:21:41,100 --> 00:21:43,300
It's really no problem at all.
468
00:21:43,335 --> 00:21:44,869
Whoa!
469
00:21:51,778 --> 00:21:53,944
Craig, are you okay?
470
00:21:53,980 --> 00:21:55,479
I don't know.
471
00:21:55,514 --> 00:21:57,614
Can you take a step?
472
00:22:02,855 --> 00:22:04,722
How's that?
473
00:22:04,757 --> 00:22:06,023
Another one.
474
00:22:08,394 --> 00:22:09,593
Okay.
475
00:22:09,629 --> 00:22:11,829
Come to me.
476
00:22:11,864 --> 00:22:14,364
I feel kind of stupid.
477
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:16,967
(gently): Come on, come on.
478
00:22:19,906 --> 00:22:22,139
Very good.
479
00:22:23,442 --> 00:22:24,442
(sighs)
480
00:22:27,146 --> 00:22:28,445
Oh, it's okay, it's okay.
481
00:22:28,481 --> 00:22:29,980
It's okay, it's okay.
482
00:22:30,015 --> 00:22:32,650
Really, just relax.
483
00:22:35,988 --> 00:22:38,922
(imitating horn playing
"Stormy Weather")
484
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:44,495
♪ ♪
485
00:22:48,233 --> 00:22:50,300
LOUIE: Wheeler, 681.
486
00:22:50,335 --> 00:22:54,805
(instrumental "Stormy
Weather" resumes)
487
00:22:54,841 --> 00:22:58,075
Banta, 324.
488
00:22:58,110 --> 00:23:01,912
♪ ♪
489
00:23:01,947 --> 00:23:04,214
Iggy, 111.
490
00:23:04,249 --> 00:23:07,184
♪ ♪
491
00:23:11,423 --> 00:23:14,691
Reiger, 816.
492
00:23:14,727 --> 00:23:17,794
(instrumental "Stormy
Weather" continues throughout)
493
00:23:23,535 --> 00:23:25,802
♪ ♪
494
00:23:38,517 --> 00:23:41,018
(theme song playing)
495
00:24:02,107 --> 00:24:03,674
WOMAN: Good night, Mr. Walters!
496
00:24:03,709 --> 00:24:04,709
(man grumbling)
33944
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