Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,836 --> 00:00:05,770
(theme song playing)
2
00:01:23,984 --> 00:01:25,183
Come on, Tony.
3
00:01:25,218 --> 00:01:27,018
You just have to accept the fact
4
00:01:27,054 --> 00:01:28,921
that Latka has
multiple personalities.
5
00:01:28,956 --> 00:01:30,489
Vic Ferrari is one of them.
6
00:01:30,524 --> 00:01:31,690
But it's not fair.
7
00:01:31,725 --> 00:01:33,459
I mean, Latka
works here all year,
8
00:01:33,494 --> 00:01:34,960
and then Vic takes his vacation.
9
00:01:34,995 --> 00:01:36,628
Well, look at it this way, Tony.
10
00:01:36,664 --> 00:01:38,997
If Latka takes a vacation,
it's a dull vacation,
11
00:01:39,032 --> 00:01:43,001
but if Vic takes it... (laughs)
12
00:01:43,036 --> 00:01:45,036
Deal 'em.
13
00:01:55,048 --> 00:01:56,315
(as Vic): Hey, guys.
14
00:01:56,350 --> 00:01:57,683
Hey. Hi. Hey.
15
00:01:57,718 --> 00:02:02,187
Hey, I know you're gonna
break some hearts today.
16
00:02:02,223 --> 00:02:04,223
Hey, uh... hey, Vic, uh,
17
00:02:04,258 --> 00:02:05,824
you all set on your vacation?
18
00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:09,594
Well, I found an outrageous
condo in Sugarloaf.
19
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:13,198
Four bedrooms, fireplace.
20
00:02:13,234 --> 00:02:14,065
A hot tub?
21
00:02:14,101 --> 00:02:16,768
Well, it will be
when I get into it.
22
00:02:16,804 --> 00:02:18,804
(laughs)
23
00:02:18,839 --> 00:02:20,238
I'm sorry.
24
00:02:20,274 --> 00:02:23,442
I couldn't resist.
25
00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:26,712
(high-pitched sigh)
26
00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:28,913
I couldn't resist.
27
00:02:28,949 --> 00:02:30,660
Hey, uh, Vic, do you know,
this sounds pretty expensive.
28
00:02:30,684 --> 00:02:31,895
Where are you
gonna get the money?
29
00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:34,386
Well, I'm not gonna
pay for it all myself.
30
00:02:34,421 --> 00:02:36,021
I'm gonna have roomies.
31
00:02:36,056 --> 00:02:38,256
I have to find four
guys by Tuesday.
32
00:02:38,292 --> 00:02:39,557
You know, it's very hard
33
00:02:39,592 --> 00:02:41,393
to find the right
kind of people.
34
00:02:41,428 --> 00:02:43,928
Why, are-are you
looking for good skiers?
35
00:02:43,964 --> 00:02:46,798
Oh, Elaine, you're so naive.
36
00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:48,066
Give me a hug.
37
00:02:48,102 --> 00:02:49,634
Uh, no, thank you.
38
00:02:51,805 --> 00:02:53,605
Anyway, let-let
me tell you the plan.
39
00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:54,773
It's always good
40
00:02:54,808 --> 00:02:56,875
to have one guy
who likes to cook.
41
00:02:56,910 --> 00:02:59,244
I mean, uh, that way,
you get your meals,
42
00:02:59,279 --> 00:03:00,812
and you also get a reputation
43
00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:02,848
for breaking down the
male/female stereotypes.
44
00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:04,816
Also, it's good to have a guy
45
00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:07,419
who looks good in a
turtleneck and plays the guitar.
46
00:03:07,454 --> 00:03:09,221
Namely, moi.
47
00:03:11,292 --> 00:03:13,425
Then it's always good
to have a loser along.
48
00:03:13,460 --> 00:03:15,126
That way, when
you bring him along,
49
00:03:15,162 --> 00:03:16,562
everyone thinks
you're sensitive.
50
00:03:16,597 --> 00:03:18,430
Then you always...
51
00:03:18,465 --> 00:03:21,299
Of course, you need some
Austrian guy named Nicky.
52
00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:24,336
Don't ask me why,
but somehow it works.
53
00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:27,438
(humming)
54
00:03:27,474 --> 00:03:30,675
You know... (clears throat)
55
00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:35,780
That Vic may have charm,
56
00:03:35,815 --> 00:03:37,816
he may have looks,
57
00:03:37,851 --> 00:03:39,718
and he may have charisma,
58
00:03:39,753 --> 00:03:42,587
but there's one
thing he'll never have.
59
00:03:42,622 --> 00:03:45,122
This.
60
00:03:52,432 --> 00:03:56,201
Charisma does not
have jelly in the middle.
61
00:04:00,340 --> 00:04:01,640
Play.
62
00:04:01,675 --> 00:04:03,608
(Louie whistling)
63
00:04:09,116 --> 00:04:12,117
Well, why are you in
such a good mood?
64
00:04:12,152 --> 00:04:14,853
Well, if you really
want to hear about it.
65
00:04:14,888 --> 00:04:17,656
I had a big fight with
my mother last night,
66
00:04:17,691 --> 00:04:19,491
and I really let her have it.
67
00:04:19,526 --> 00:04:21,827
She didn't know
what hit her. (grunts)
68
00:04:21,862 --> 00:04:24,029
Well, congratulations, Louie!
69
00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:25,897
You did a job on your mother.
70
00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:27,866
Now it's Miller time.
71
00:04:30,204 --> 00:04:31,403
All right, all right.
72
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:33,338
First of all, let me give you
73
00:04:33,373 --> 00:04:34,739
a little background on this.
74
00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:38,443
You see... my mom belongs
75
00:04:38,478 --> 00:04:42,013
to this club called
Life Begins At 70.
76
00:04:42,049 --> 00:04:45,750
All right, the
whole club consists
77
00:04:45,785 --> 00:04:47,818
of three women, two men,
78
00:04:47,854 --> 00:04:51,989
and somebody so shriveled
up, it's anybody's guess.
79
00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:55,894
Louie, has it ever
occurred to you
80
00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:58,262
that old people have a dignity
81
00:04:58,298 --> 00:05:00,832
and a wisdom and a beauty
82
00:05:00,868 --> 00:05:02,934
that you will never
appreciate or approach,
83
00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:04,902
no matter what age you get to?
84
00:05:04,938 --> 00:05:06,838
Well, it may look like
that to you, Reiger,
85
00:05:06,873 --> 00:05:08,585
because you're a little
closer to the bucket.
86
00:05:08,609 --> 00:05:10,341
Bah!
87
00:05:10,376 --> 00:05:12,243
All right, all right, so anyway,
88
00:05:12,278 --> 00:05:13,878
in this little club of Ma's,
89
00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:15,847
they get together
every once in a while
90
00:05:15,882 --> 00:05:18,883
to have a little fun, right?
91
00:05:18,918 --> 00:05:21,320
They have, uh, guest speakers.
92
00:05:21,355 --> 00:05:22,621
This one time,
93
00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:25,423
they had a guy come
in who found a rock,
94
00:05:25,459 --> 00:05:27,926
and he talked about it
for an hour and a half.
95
00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:30,328
A couple of weeks ago,
96
00:05:30,363 --> 00:05:36,335
they had this old bird come
in and show travel slides.
97
00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:38,837
After the excitement died down,
98
00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:41,840
the old guy with
the slides asked Ma
99
00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:43,408
if he could take her home.
100
00:05:43,444 --> 00:05:45,243
Little shuffle. You
know what I mean?
101
00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:46,244
(laughs)
102
00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:48,079
So, anyway, that day,
103
00:05:48,115 --> 00:05:53,050
I work a double
shift... 16 hours.
104
00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:55,152
I mean, I'm sweaty,
105
00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:58,122
I'm tired, I smell like a goat.
106
00:05:59,325 --> 00:06:01,393
All I want to do is go home,
107
00:06:01,428 --> 00:06:04,362
hose myself down
and put on the feedbag.
108
00:06:04,398 --> 00:06:06,631
So, I peek into the living room.
109
00:06:06,667 --> 00:06:08,800
What do I see?
110
00:06:08,835 --> 00:06:10,802
There's Ma
111
00:06:10,837 --> 00:06:13,938
sitting on the... on
the sofa with this guy.
112
00:06:13,974 --> 00:06:16,808
They're staring out
into space like this.
113
00:06:16,843 --> 00:06:18,309
I thought they were dead.
114
00:06:18,344 --> 00:06:20,078
(laughs)
115
00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:24,082
It turns out, they're smitten.
116
00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:26,117
(laughs)
117
00:06:28,955 --> 00:06:30,889
So anyway...
118
00:06:33,494 --> 00:06:35,426
Hey, schizo?
119
00:06:37,097 --> 00:06:40,031
The next thing you know,
she's talking about marriage.
120
00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:41,933
Marriage? Check, please.
121
00:06:54,348 --> 00:06:56,848
Come on, big fella.
122
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:03,154
All right, to make
a long story short,
123
00:07:03,189 --> 00:07:04,889
she's talking about marriage.
124
00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:06,458
She wants to marry the guy.
125
00:07:06,493 --> 00:07:08,627
I tell her she's nuts,
126
00:07:08,662 --> 00:07:10,996
and then she comes
back with all these answers
127
00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:12,830
about wanting to share her life
128
00:07:12,866 --> 00:07:15,167
and not having many years left.
129
00:07:15,202 --> 00:07:18,169
So then, I come
in with my topper.
130
00:07:18,205 --> 00:07:25,176
I tell her if she marries this
guy, I'm no longer her son.
131
00:07:25,212 --> 00:07:26,344
Wah!
132
00:07:26,379 --> 00:07:27,545
(laughs)
133
00:07:27,581 --> 00:07:30,615
Oh, Louie, how could you?
134
00:07:30,650 --> 00:07:33,384
How could you do this
to your own mother?
135
00:07:33,420 --> 00:07:35,720
You haven't heard
the worst, Nardo.
136
00:07:37,291 --> 00:07:43,194
The guy she wants
to marry... is Japanese!
137
00:07:46,099 --> 00:07:47,332
So?
138
00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:51,002
My little old Italian
mother is engaged
139
00:07:51,038 --> 00:07:53,672
to Itsumi Fujimoto.
140
00:07:53,707 --> 00:07:55,907
Huh?
141
00:07:55,943 --> 00:07:58,510
And he's planning
to take her to Japan.
142
00:07:58,545 --> 00:08:01,479
So you made her
give him up, huh?
143
00:08:01,515 --> 00:08:04,582
And just spoiled her
last chance at happiness.
144
00:08:04,618 --> 00:08:06,751
You are really a worm!
145
00:08:06,787 --> 00:08:08,486
(snorts) Ugh.
146
00:08:08,521 --> 00:08:10,454
I bet it broke her little heart.
147
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,657
She'll get over it.
148
00:08:12,692 --> 00:08:16,427
She cried a little bit, put
a minor curse on me...
149
00:08:17,965 --> 00:08:20,031
MRS. DE PALMA:
Louie? Hey, Louie,
150
00:08:20,066 --> 00:08:21,566
I want to talk to you.
151
00:08:21,601 --> 00:08:22,834
(groans)
152
00:08:24,638 --> 00:08:27,071
Oh. Uh, hey, everybody, hold it.
153
00:08:27,106 --> 00:08:29,541
Uh, this is my mother.
154
00:08:29,576 --> 00:08:31,042
I want everybody
155
00:08:31,077 --> 00:08:33,811
to treat her with
enormous respect
156
00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:35,613
and excellent manners.
157
00:08:35,649 --> 00:08:39,851
If it wasn't for her,
I wouldn't be here.
158
00:08:39,886 --> 00:08:42,053
Hey, you're
forgetting your father
159
00:08:42,088 --> 00:08:44,022
and a cheap bottle of wine?
160
00:08:46,994 --> 00:08:50,695
Oh, Mrs. De Palma, it is
such a pleasure to meet you.
161
00:08:50,730 --> 00:08:52,263
Who are you?
162
00:08:52,299 --> 00:08:54,098
Oh. Um, I'm Elaine Nardo.
163
00:08:54,133 --> 00:08:55,400
Oh, Louie's girl.
164
00:08:58,738 --> 00:09:00,371
Alex.
165
00:09:00,407 --> 00:09:02,207
ALEX: Yeah, uh,
hi, Mrs. De Palma.
166
00:09:02,242 --> 00:09:03,708
I'm Alex Reiger.
167
00:09:03,743 --> 00:09:07,378
Oh, you're the Jewish fella
that Louie's always helping out.
168
00:09:09,415 --> 00:09:10,548
I can't tell you
169
00:09:10,584 --> 00:09:12,917
how much we love
your son, Mrs. De Palma.
170
00:09:12,953 --> 00:09:14,251
I really can't tell you.
171
00:09:14,287 --> 00:09:16,354
Uh, Tony, uh, you're next.
172
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:18,222
I'm Tony Banta, Mrs. De Palma.
173
00:09:18,257 --> 00:09:19,157
Oh.
174
00:09:19,192 --> 00:09:23,394
I can't believe what
Louie says about you.
175
00:09:24,798 --> 00:09:26,597
What city are we in?
176
00:09:30,369 --> 00:09:32,770
Is... is this a trick question?
177
00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:35,240
Well, I'll be darned.
178
00:09:36,810 --> 00:09:38,176
Oh. Hey, Mrs. De Palma,
179
00:09:38,211 --> 00:09:39,878
I've been waiting to meet you.
180
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:43,515
Um... (speaking Italian)
181
00:09:43,550 --> 00:09:44,860
Oh... (speaking
Italian)... Italiano?
182
00:09:44,884 --> 00:09:46,217
Sì, sì. Oh.
183
00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:47,519
(speaking Italian)
184
00:09:52,225 --> 00:09:54,225
Oh.
185
00:09:55,295 --> 00:09:57,027
Ma, down here.
186
00:09:57,063 --> 00:09:58,195
Hey, Tony,
187
00:09:58,231 --> 00:09:59,530
what-what... what did she say?
188
00:09:59,566 --> 00:10:02,032
Well, my Italian's a little
rusty, Alex, but she said...
189
00:10:02,068 --> 00:10:05,203
I think she said, uh, her
son's acting like a jackass.
190
00:10:05,238 --> 00:10:07,972
Or... Or else he's
acting like an asparagus?
191
00:10:09,675 --> 00:10:11,709
No, it's probably jackass.
192
00:10:11,745 --> 00:10:13,945
Well, you are the expert.
193
00:10:15,048 --> 00:10:16,981
New cabbie?
194
00:10:21,755 --> 00:10:24,055
No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no.
195
00:10:24,090 --> 00:10:26,357
This is Louie's
mother, Mrs. De Palma.
196
00:10:26,392 --> 00:10:28,359
Oh.
197
00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:34,365
Your son is one of
the finest human beings
198
00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:36,534
I've ever known in my life.
199
00:10:43,276 --> 00:10:45,810
And you let him drive a cab?
200
00:10:49,015 --> 00:10:52,150
Look, if this has anything to do
201
00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:54,152
with Itsumi Fujimoto...
202
00:10:54,187 --> 00:10:56,988
Louie, I still want
to marry him.
203
00:10:57,024 --> 00:10:58,757
I thought that was settled.
204
00:10:58,792 --> 00:11:00,959
You-you've got no
reason to marry that man.
205
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:02,760
Companionship.
206
00:11:02,796 --> 00:11:05,763
Companionship. Companionship.
207
00:11:05,799 --> 00:11:08,732
Is that all you old
people ever think about?
208
00:11:12,071 --> 00:11:14,571
Louie...
209
00:11:14,607 --> 00:11:16,908
will you talk to him?
210
00:11:16,943 --> 00:11:18,876
Will you meet him?
211
00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:20,611
Why should I do that?
212
00:11:20,647 --> 00:11:22,180
You meet him,
213
00:11:22,215 --> 00:11:25,116
and if you don't like
him, I won't marry him.
214
00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:28,887
You promise?
215
00:11:28,922 --> 00:11:30,521
I promise.
216
00:11:31,625 --> 00:11:34,092
Okay.
217
00:11:34,127 --> 00:11:35,727
Will you sit with him?
218
00:11:35,762 --> 00:11:37,362
Sure.
219
00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:38,697
Will you talk to him?
220
00:11:38,732 --> 00:11:40,065
Sure.
221
00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:41,598
Will you be nice to him?
222
00:11:41,635 --> 00:11:43,535
Ma!
223
00:11:43,570 --> 00:11:46,504
I had to go for it.
224
00:12:05,292 --> 00:12:08,125
Hello, my dear.
225
00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:10,962
(groaning)
226
00:12:10,997 --> 00:12:13,631
I take it this is Mr. Fujimoto.
227
00:12:13,667 --> 00:12:17,001
No, this always
happens to me in bars.
228
00:12:20,674 --> 00:12:22,974
I love your sense of humor.
229
00:12:23,009 --> 00:12:27,678
Speaking of which,
this is my son, Louie.
230
00:12:27,714 --> 00:12:30,347
How do you do, Mr. De Palma?
231
00:12:30,383 --> 00:12:31,516
(grumbling)
232
00:12:31,551 --> 00:12:33,350
Up, up.
233
00:12:33,386 --> 00:12:35,085
Up.
234
00:12:35,121 --> 00:12:36,988
Bow, bow.
235
00:12:40,527 --> 00:12:42,326
All right, you
want to talk to me?
236
00:12:42,361 --> 00:12:43,828
Let's go over here and talk.
237
00:12:43,863 --> 00:12:45,196
Very well.
238
00:12:45,232 --> 00:12:48,233
Excuse us, Gabriella.
239
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,602
By the way, you
look lovely today.
240
00:12:50,637 --> 00:12:51,770
Thank you.
241
00:12:51,805 --> 00:12:54,239
Come on, people are
trying to eat in here.
242
00:12:56,843 --> 00:12:59,144
I'll just sit here and smoke.
243
00:12:59,179 --> 00:13:02,380
Smoke your brains
out, crazy lady.
244
00:13:06,052 --> 00:13:08,619
Louie, I understand
from your mother
245
00:13:08,655 --> 00:13:10,588
that you are opposed
246
00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:12,991
to the idea of our
getting married.
247
00:13:13,026 --> 00:13:14,959
All right, now let's
get to the point here.
248
00:13:14,995 --> 00:13:18,596
I got a question for you.
249
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:21,232
Have you ever known
another woman?
250
00:13:21,268 --> 00:13:25,870
Of course, I am 83 years old.
251
00:13:25,905 --> 00:13:28,873
Who hasn't known
another woman at my age?
252
00:13:28,909 --> 00:13:31,142
Well, all right, don't
chew my head off here.
253
00:13:31,177 --> 00:13:35,479
Ma, you can't marry
this old geezer.
254
00:13:35,515 --> 00:13:38,516
He's pillowed half the Orient.
255
00:13:41,921 --> 00:13:43,688
Louie, I'm gonna marry him.
256
00:13:43,723 --> 00:13:46,658
You said if I don't like
him, you won't marry him.
257
00:13:46,693 --> 00:13:48,659
I lied.
258
00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:55,833
Look, I told you this before
and I'm gonna tell you again,
259
00:13:55,869 --> 00:14:00,337
if you marry this guy, I'm
not coming home tonight
260
00:14:00,373 --> 00:14:04,776
and I'll never set foot
in that apartment again.
261
00:14:04,811 --> 00:14:07,612
And I'll no longer be your son.
262
00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:11,715
I'm sorry you feel that way.
263
00:14:11,751 --> 00:14:13,851
Let's go, Itsu.
264
00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:24,228
Sayonara, Louie.
265
00:14:33,073 --> 00:14:35,740
(Louie snoring)
266
00:14:35,775 --> 00:14:36,885
ALEX: I can't believe
Louie's doing this,
267
00:14:36,909 --> 00:14:37,975
living in the garage.
268
00:14:38,010 --> 00:14:39,277
(LATKA (as Vic): Hey, guys.
269
00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:41,245
Okay, hey, oh!
270
00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:46,618
Boss man isn't up yet, huh?
271
00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:47,952
No, uh, Vic, he's not.
272
00:14:47,987 --> 00:14:49,620
Tell him that I left early
273
00:14:49,656 --> 00:14:51,122
to beat the weekend traffic.
274
00:14:51,157 --> 00:14:53,157
You found all those
guys for the condo?
275
00:14:53,193 --> 00:14:56,160
Oh, yeah, yeah, hey,
congratulate me, men.
276
00:14:56,196 --> 00:14:58,729
The team is assembled
and we're on our way
277
00:14:58,764 --> 00:15:02,266
to a holiday of hormones.
278
00:15:02,302 --> 00:15:05,135
Okay, pray for powder, soldiers.
279
00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:12,443
(alarm clock buzzing)
280
00:15:12,478 --> 00:15:15,280
(Louie grumbling)
281
00:15:15,315 --> 00:15:18,882
(banging sounds, Louie mumbling)
282
00:15:18,919 --> 00:15:20,618
(stuff clattering)
283
00:15:20,653 --> 00:15:23,587
(Louie snarling, growling)
284
00:15:25,558 --> 00:15:27,991
(Louie coughing, gagging)
285
00:15:30,529 --> 00:15:32,863
(groaning)
286
00:15:38,037 --> 00:15:40,370
(loud yawning)
287
00:15:40,406 --> 00:15:41,706
(groaning)
288
00:15:41,741 --> 00:15:42,707
(yawning)
289
00:15:42,742 --> 00:15:43,841
(groaning)
290
00:15:43,876 --> 00:15:46,610
As my guide, and I
watch from the bushes,
291
00:15:46,646 --> 00:15:50,914
we are amazed...
by the astounding
292
00:15:50,951 --> 00:15:52,883
similarities to a human being.
293
00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:59,690
What are you bozos doing here?
294
00:15:59,725 --> 00:16:01,192
What are you all dressed up for?
295
00:16:01,227 --> 00:16:03,528
We're on our way to your
mother's wedding, Louie.
296
00:16:03,563 --> 00:16:07,131
Oh, is it today?
297
00:16:07,166 --> 00:16:08,799
Yeah.
298
00:16:08,835 --> 00:16:11,602
Well...
299
00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:15,740
I'm afraid you made
one little mistake, Reiger.
300
00:16:15,775 --> 00:16:18,776
I don't have a mother anymore.
301
00:16:18,812 --> 00:16:22,280
Hey, uh, he's walking his soap.
302
00:16:27,887 --> 00:16:29,854
Louie, Louie.
303
00:16:29,889 --> 00:16:31,622
Get out of here.
Louie, wait, Louie!
304
00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:33,057
Go on. Louie, Louie.
305
00:16:33,092 --> 00:16:35,292
Wait a minute, Louie!
306
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:36,927
(shower starts)
Look, Louie, I wouldn't
307
00:16:36,963 --> 00:16:39,397
be here except that I think it
might make a big difference
308
00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:41,399
to your mother if you
showed up there today.
309
00:16:41,434 --> 00:16:43,768
LOUIE: Oh, yeah,
yeah, yeah, go on.
310
00:16:43,803 --> 00:16:47,337
Oh, come on, Louie, for once
in your life, don't be so... you.
311
00:16:49,709 --> 00:16:54,945
You think you know it all, huh?
312
00:16:54,980 --> 00:16:57,915
You think you got it all
figured out, don't you?
313
00:17:00,987 --> 00:17:04,522
Well, let me tell you something.
314
00:17:04,557 --> 00:17:07,157
You get used to a way of life.
315
00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:08,325
You don't pick it.
316
00:17:10,430 --> 00:17:13,898
Me and Ma had a deal.
317
00:17:13,933 --> 00:17:15,232
We had an agreement.
318
00:17:15,268 --> 00:17:18,569
It was unspoken, there
were no papers signed,
319
00:17:18,605 --> 00:17:20,872
but it was a deal just the same.
320
00:17:20,907 --> 00:17:22,473
And now she's throwing it away.
321
00:17:22,509 --> 00:17:24,542
And let me tell you
something else, Reiger.
322
00:17:24,577 --> 00:17:26,677
I would've never
done this to her.
323
00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:28,045
Wait, are you telling me
324
00:17:28,081 --> 00:17:30,380
that you were never
gonna get married?
325
00:17:30,416 --> 00:17:33,483
Of course I'm gonna get married.
326
00:17:33,519 --> 00:17:35,452
But even if I did get married,
327
00:17:35,487 --> 00:17:38,655
I'd always have a place
in my home for her.
328
00:17:38,691 --> 00:17:40,857
I'd have given her a room.
329
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:44,295
Maybe even furnished it.
330
00:17:44,330 --> 00:17:47,465
Even if my wife,
Fleurette, didn't want me to.
331
00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:48,766
Fleurette?
332
00:17:48,801 --> 00:17:51,034
Yeah, whatever her name will be.
333
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:52,336
Fleurette?
334
00:17:52,372 --> 00:17:54,439
Yeah, I pulled
it out of the air.
335
00:17:54,474 --> 00:17:56,574
You pull Jane or
Sally out of the air.
336
00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:59,209
You don't pull
Fleurette out of the air.
337
00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:00,845
You pull Fleurette out of long,
338
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:03,714
hot sweaty nights
of total frustration.
339
00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:06,083
All right, I'm a romantic.
340
00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:07,684
So sue me.
341
00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:11,188
The point is that
Ma is leaving me.
342
00:18:11,224 --> 00:18:16,326
She's busting us up and
yet I look like the bad guy.
343
00:18:17,830 --> 00:18:20,665
Everybody's sympathizing
with her 'cause she's got
344
00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:22,667
the gray hair,
345
00:18:22,702 --> 00:18:26,304
the little, little face
and that cute little walk.
346
00:18:29,876 --> 00:18:32,976
And I'm the one who had
his life yanked out, Reiger.
347
00:18:34,514 --> 00:18:38,483
That woman means
everything to me, Reiger.
348
00:18:38,518 --> 00:18:40,651
She's my mama.
349
00:18:40,686 --> 00:18:43,987
And all the things
she did for me.
350
00:18:45,924 --> 00:18:51,695
She cooked my food,
cleaned my clothes,
351
00:18:51,730 --> 00:18:54,998
she clipped my toenails.
352
00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:57,934
Clipped your toenails, Lou?
353
00:18:57,970 --> 00:18:59,603
That woman
clipped your toenails,
354
00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:01,438
and you're not gonna
go to the wedding?
355
00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:07,445
God, when you
put it like that...
356
00:19:11,117 --> 00:19:13,184
You're right,
Reiger, I gotta go.
357
00:19:13,219 --> 00:19:15,219
Of course I gotta
go. Of course, Lou!
358
00:19:15,254 --> 00:19:16,353
Oh, but I don't know.
359
00:19:16,388 --> 00:19:17,454
I'm not sure.
360
00:19:17,489 --> 00:19:19,323
It might be a
mistake the way I feel.
361
00:19:19,358 --> 00:19:21,325
I mean, it might
work on my guts.
362
00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:24,095
You know, there's no telling
what I'd do when I get there.
363
00:19:24,130 --> 00:19:26,763
There's a nasty side to
me you've never seen.
364
00:19:26,799 --> 00:19:28,098
I've seen it.
365
00:19:28,133 --> 00:19:30,501
Look, Lou, see, you're
not gonna do anything.
366
00:19:30,536 --> 00:19:32,447
I'm telling you, you're not
gonna do anything to ruin it.
367
00:19:32,471 --> 00:19:34,204
If you can't trust
yourself, trust me.
368
00:19:36,742 --> 00:19:39,610
You're sure? I'm
sure, Lou, I'm sure.
369
00:19:39,645 --> 00:19:41,979
You're right,
Reiger, I'm gonna go.
370
00:19:42,015 --> 00:19:43,214
Good, Lou, good.
371
00:19:43,249 --> 00:19:45,015
You know something, Reiger?
372
00:19:45,050 --> 00:19:45,882
What?
373
00:19:45,918 --> 00:19:46,951
I feel great!
374
00:19:46,986 --> 00:19:50,120
I feel like I got a
warm glow inside me.
375
00:19:50,155 --> 00:19:51,589
And you know why?
376
00:19:51,624 --> 00:19:52,757
Why, Lou, why?
377
00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:56,894
Because no matter what
happens at that wedding,
378
00:19:56,929 --> 00:19:59,997
no matter what disgusting
and revolting thing
379
00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:02,833
that I might do,
it's your fault.
380
00:20:17,283 --> 00:20:19,883
ELAINE: I think
everything is so beautiful.
381
00:20:19,918 --> 00:20:21,018
TONY: Yeah.
382
00:20:21,054 --> 00:20:22,719
This is a joke.
383
00:20:22,755 --> 00:20:23,755
Louie.
384
00:20:23,789 --> 00:20:26,823
Boss, you'll love it.
385
00:20:26,859 --> 00:20:30,194
It's a very moving ceremony.
386
00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:32,129
How do you know, Iggy?
387
00:20:32,164 --> 00:20:36,801
I'm a student of
the world's religions.
388
00:20:36,836 --> 00:20:38,803
It figures.
389
00:20:38,838 --> 00:20:44,374
A shinto wedding is one of the
three best ways to get married.
390
00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:50,147
The best weddings are
Polish for the dancing
391
00:20:50,182 --> 00:20:53,050
and Shinto for the poetry.
392
00:20:53,086 --> 00:20:53,985
What's the third?
393
00:20:54,020 --> 00:20:57,388
Vegas.
394
00:20:57,423 --> 00:20:58,722
For the glitter.
395
00:20:58,758 --> 00:20:59,957
Oh.
396
00:20:59,992 --> 00:21:01,659
I can't take this. Louie!
397
00:21:01,694 --> 00:21:03,361
Louie, take it easy.
398
00:21:03,396 --> 00:21:05,363
This is a holy place.
399
00:21:06,499 --> 00:21:10,468
Who's that guy?
400
00:21:10,503 --> 00:21:12,703
This is the Shinto priest
401
00:21:12,739 --> 00:21:14,671
and his attendants.
402
00:21:19,245 --> 00:21:21,445
He brought the whole family.
403
00:21:25,551 --> 00:21:26,817
(grumbling)
404
00:21:26,853 --> 00:21:28,419
Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie.
405
00:21:28,454 --> 00:21:32,556
Next comes the groom
and then the bride.
406
00:21:42,234 --> 00:21:44,201
Dad.
407
00:21:44,236 --> 00:21:46,003
This is ridiculous!
408
00:21:46,038 --> 00:21:47,905
My mother can't do this.
409
00:21:47,940 --> 00:21:49,172
She'll never adapt!
410
00:21:52,945 --> 00:21:54,278
Who's that?
411
00:21:56,082 --> 00:21:57,948
Oh, no!
412
00:21:57,983 --> 00:21:59,817
(pounding floor)
413
00:22:01,921 --> 00:22:04,221
LOUIE: That's mom!
414
00:22:04,256 --> 00:22:07,525
She looks like a
scarecrow in a rice paddy.
415
00:22:11,464 --> 00:22:15,399
JIM: This is the
purification rite.
416
00:22:15,434 --> 00:22:17,902
He's casting out the demons.
417
00:22:17,937 --> 00:22:19,703
Louie, you'd better
hang on to your seat.
418
00:22:22,675 --> 00:22:24,841
I'm glad you're having
a good time, Nardo.
419
00:22:28,114 --> 00:22:31,114
This is the sacred norito.
420
00:22:31,150 --> 00:22:34,885
It's a message to
the divine power
421
00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:37,254
that a marriage is
about to take place.
422
00:22:37,289 --> 00:22:40,091
It's fun being the smart one.
423
00:22:47,700 --> 00:22:50,901
This is the san san kudo.
424
00:22:52,972 --> 00:22:56,240
After your mother drinks
from that cup three times,
425
00:22:56,275 --> 00:22:58,141
she'll be married.
426
00:22:58,177 --> 00:23:01,178
She will?! Yep.
Hang on, Louie, Louie.
427
00:23:04,016 --> 00:23:05,782
JIM: One...
428
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:08,852
Two...
429
00:23:08,888 --> 00:23:10,153
I gotta stop this! Louie, no!
430
00:23:10,189 --> 00:23:11,189
Mom!
431
00:23:12,024 --> 00:23:13,591
ALEX: Please don't, Louie.
432
00:23:13,626 --> 00:23:14,724
Too late.
433
00:23:24,970 --> 00:23:27,171
All right, in that case...
434
00:23:40,686 --> 00:23:42,586
I give you my blessing.
435
00:23:42,622 --> 00:23:44,955
Grazie, figlio mio.
436
00:23:52,698 --> 00:23:55,566
Grazie.
437
00:24:04,910 --> 00:24:07,478
(theme song playing)
438
00:24:31,937 --> 00:24:33,437
WOMAN: Good night, Mr. Walters!
439
00:24:33,472 --> 00:24:34,472
(man grumbling)
29849
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof