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♪ ♪
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00:00:07,311 --> 00:00:12,552
For subtitling services, contatct:
waqas.zahoor89@gmail.com
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00:00:17,016 --> 00:00:19,518
Scientists have determined
that the secret to a long life
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00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:21,645
is to drink lots of coffee...
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00:00:21,646 --> 00:00:23,355
or no coffee at all.
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00:00:23,356 --> 00:00:25,065
Now, it's time to kill time with
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00:00:25,066 --> 00:00:26,942
"This Day in Springfield
History."
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00:00:26,943 --> 00:00:29,611
We become the first
flyover state
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00:00:29,612 --> 00:00:31,447
when the Wright Brothers
ignore us
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00:00:31,448 --> 00:00:33,782
on a voyage from Ohio
to Kentucky.
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00:00:33,783 --> 00:00:36,910
Peace breaks out
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00:00:36,911 --> 00:00:39,496
and Montgomery Burns fires
his female employees.
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00:00:39,497 --> 00:00:43,667
As the rest of America
rockets into the new frontier,
14
00:00:43,668 --> 00:00:47,337
Springfield unveils a fleet
of school busses.
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00:00:47,338 --> 00:00:51,383
These buses are bursting
with American technology.
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00:00:51,384 --> 00:00:54,678
Grooved rubber mats,
and an emergency door
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00:00:54,679 --> 00:00:57,848
that any child could
accidentally open
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00:00:57,849 --> 00:01:00,684
and fall 15 feet to the street.
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00:01:02,854 --> 00:01:04,731
♪ ♪
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00:01:09,986 --> 00:01:11,862
Lis, wish me luck.
I'm going for
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00:01:11,863 --> 00:01:13,947
the lunch-boxing
middleweight title.
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00:01:13,948 --> 00:01:15,574
What does it matter?
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00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:17,868
You'll never unify the belts.
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00:01:19,329 --> 00:01:22,039
Okay, champ,
remember your game plan:
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00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:26,044
lead with your Krusty,
then jab-jab-jab with my Eeyore.
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00:01:27,587 --> 00:01:30,840
Work the vest
and the head will die.
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00:01:38,556 --> 00:01:40,433
♪ ♪
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00:01:43,728 --> 00:01:45,395
♪ Each day this bus ♪
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00:01:45,396 --> 00:01:47,815
♪ Is home to chaos ♪
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00:01:47,816 --> 00:01:50,734
♪ That little boy
is mooning me ♪
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00:01:50,735 --> 00:01:52,694
♪ This ride's a living hell ♪
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00:01:52,695 --> 00:01:54,488
♪ Right to the morning bell ♪
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00:01:54,489 --> 00:01:57,908
♪ Please tell me that
that puddle isn't pee ♪
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00:01:57,909 --> 00:01:59,868
I'm taking care
of this goldfish.
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00:01:59,869 --> 00:02:01,662
♪ All I would ask ♪
36
00:02:01,663 --> 00:02:03,831
♪ Is just one friend
to ride with ♪
37
00:02:03,832 --> 00:02:07,042
♪ And please not Milhouse
or Kearney ♪
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00:02:07,043 --> 00:02:09,002
Don't drag me
into your lonely song.
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00:02:09,003 --> 00:02:11,004
♪ Another girl who's smart ♪
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00:02:11,005 --> 00:02:12,923
♪ With kindness in her heart ♪
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00:02:12,924 --> 00:02:16,009
♪ Someone who's just exactly
just like... ♪
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00:02:16,010 --> 00:02:17,971
She?
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00:02:24,519 --> 00:02:27,813
Do we always have to have
the TV on during dinner?
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00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:30,023
This is a special night,
sweetie.
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00:02:30,024 --> 00:02:32,026
We've all been waiting for...
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00:02:33,778 --> 00:02:36,572
Beast Blaster!
47
00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:39,908
Welcome back to the U.S. Ninja
Ultimate Beast Blaster,
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00:02:39,909 --> 00:02:43,704
where U.S. ninjas fight to
become the ultimate beast.
49
00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:45,873
By defeating the ultimate beast,
50
00:02:45,874 --> 00:02:49,877
an obstacle course we call
"The Ultimate Monster."
51
00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:53,380
Well, I saw a cool girl
from the bus today.
52
00:02:53,381 --> 00:02:55,173
It's weird-- I don't know her,
53
00:02:55,174 --> 00:02:57,259
but I feel like
we could be friends.
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00:02:57,260 --> 00:02:58,677
Yeah, you're right,
I think Marcus
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00:02:58,678 --> 00:03:00,721
is gonna take it all this year.
56
00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:02,931
Mm-hmm.
He's got the best narrative.
57
00:03:02,932 --> 00:03:06,101
He's doing it for his buddies
at MacDill Air Force Base.
58
00:03:06,102 --> 00:03:09,354
MacDill!
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00:03:09,355 --> 00:03:11,231
This is your fifth attempt
to slay the monster.
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00:03:11,232 --> 00:03:12,816
Can you give us the thoughts
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00:03:12,817 --> 00:03:14,318
that are going through
your mind?
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00:03:16,696 --> 00:03:18,530
Hmm. Isn't the first rule
of ninja
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00:03:18,531 --> 00:03:20,657
to be silent and invisible?
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00:03:20,658 --> 00:03:22,910
Shh. Watching other people live
full lives
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00:03:22,911 --> 00:03:25,329
is our family activity.
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00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:28,999
That girl I saw out the bus
window was playing the clarinet.
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00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,626
The clarinet.
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00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:33,795
The saxophone's cool
black friend. Yeah--
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00:03:33,796 --> 00:03:35,339
Oh, my God, what a fail!
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00:03:40,970 --> 00:03:42,596
Ooh!
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00:03:42,597 --> 00:03:44,932
I never gave up,
and I taught my kids
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00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:47,392
to follow their dreams.
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00:03:47,393 --> 00:03:49,479
Oh, no. Daddy can't hug anymore.
No-no-no.
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00:03:51,814 --> 00:03:54,566
Don't look up.
This bus is too depressing.
75
00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:57,570
Backpack attack!
76
00:04:01,449 --> 00:04:04,743
Ugh. It smells
like Milhouse's back.
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00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:07,788
Lisa knows what my back
smells like.
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00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:09,915
Hamster volleyball.
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00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:13,835
You lose.
Lisa counts as floor.
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00:04:13,836 --> 00:04:15,837
That's it.
There's gotta be a better place.
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00:04:15,838 --> 00:04:18,548
Otto. Stop the bus.
I wanna get off.
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00:04:18,549 --> 00:04:20,717
You're the boss.
83
00:04:20,718 --> 00:04:22,803
Can we get some ice cream?
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00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:24,596
I'm not that crazy. Yogurt.
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00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:29,685
Oh, my God. I'm in that
other girl's neighborhood.
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00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:33,355
Without the baggage
of being Lisa Simpson.
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00:04:33,356 --> 00:04:35,565
Yo. Sis-boom-blah.
Little help?
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00:04:35,566 --> 00:04:37,401
Go. Go live.
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00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:39,778
Go love. Multiply.
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00:04:41,322 --> 00:04:43,324
♪ ♪
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00:04:49,038 --> 00:04:50,622
Look at all these boutiques.
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00:04:50,623 --> 00:04:52,374
I've never been
in a neighborhood
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00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:55,919
where the parking lots
were behind the stores.
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00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:58,797
This is her house.
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00:05:05,847 --> 00:05:09,891
Hello? Hello?
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00:05:09,892 --> 00:05:13,312
♪ ♪- Huh? Hmm.
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00:05:14,230 --> 00:05:17,357
Oh. Ooh.
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00:05:17,358 --> 00:05:19,317
Whoa.
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00:05:19,318 --> 00:05:22,195
Hello? It's me,
the girl on the bus!
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00:05:22,196 --> 00:05:26,867
Um, I'm moving past the tasteful
craftsman fixtures,
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00:05:26,868 --> 00:05:30,370
the eco-conscious lighting
that turns on when I enter
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00:05:30,371 --> 00:05:32,539
and turns off when I leave.
103
00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:34,374
And now the jade tree,
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00:05:34,375 --> 00:05:36,793
which I'm watering
just a little.
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00:05:36,794 --> 00:05:39,630
Oh, no.
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00:05:44,093 --> 00:05:46,345
Hi, don't be afraid. I'm Lisa.
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00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,055
I saw you from my school bus.
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00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:49,848
At least, I think it was you.
109
00:05:53,436 --> 00:05:56,396
- Why were you crying?
- Because I just read
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00:05:56,397 --> 00:06:01,026
the Pacific garbage patch grew
to 600,000 square miles.
111
00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:03,278
So then I put on "The Dolphin"
112
00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:04,863
by Stan Getz to cheer up.
113
00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:08,700
But it was so beautiful
I cried even more.
114
00:06:08,701 --> 00:06:11,495
You are just like the friend
I've described
115
00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:13,580
to so many wishing wells.
116
00:06:13,581 --> 00:06:16,666
By the way,
I play the saxophone.
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00:06:16,667 --> 00:06:19,711
Here. Take one.
118
00:06:25,176 --> 00:06:28,178
Wait a minute-- this is gonna
end badly, isn't it?
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00:06:28,179 --> 00:06:30,263
That's just what I was thinking.
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00:06:30,264 --> 00:06:32,307
We have so much in common.
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00:06:32,308 --> 00:06:34,185
♪ ♪
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00:06:39,347 --> 00:06:40,972
So what do you do, Mrs. Monroe?
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00:06:40,973 --> 00:06:42,766
I'm a marine biologist.
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00:06:42,767 --> 00:06:44,976
I was in an improv group
and asked the audience
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00:06:44,977 --> 00:06:48,271
for an occupation, and I just
fell in love with the work.
126
00:06:48,272 --> 00:06:51,441
I yes-and-ed myself
into a career.
127
00:06:51,442 --> 00:06:53,026
More seitan gumbo, Lisa?
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00:06:53,027 --> 00:06:55,153
The rice is conflict-free.
129
00:06:55,154 --> 00:06:57,113
Yes. It's not to die for.
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00:06:59,033 --> 00:07:02,577
Oh, your mother keeps a journal
of what you say?
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00:07:02,578 --> 00:07:05,246
She'll wear these pearls
forever.
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00:07:05,247 --> 00:07:07,166
Oh, that's good.
133
00:07:08,793 --> 00:07:10,043
Oh...
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00:07:10,044 --> 00:07:14,214
♪ Some others I've seen ♪
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00:07:14,215 --> 00:07:18,218
♪ Might never be mean ♪
136
00:07:18,219 --> 00:07:20,470
♪ Might never be cross ♪
137
00:07:20,471 --> 00:07:22,430
♪ Or try to be boss ♪
138
00:07:22,431 --> 00:07:24,265
♪ But they wouldn't do ♪
139
00:07:26,310 --> 00:07:28,937
♪ For nobody else ♪
140
00:07:28,938 --> 00:07:31,106
♪ Gave me a thrill ♪
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00:07:31,107 --> 00:07:32,732
♪ With all your faults ♪
142
00:07:32,733 --> 00:07:34,150
♪ I love you still ♪
143
00:07:34,151 --> 00:07:36,569
♪ It had to be you ♪
144
00:07:36,570 --> 00:07:38,613
♪ Wonderful you ♪
145
00:07:38,614 --> 00:07:40,824
♪ It had to be you. ♪
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00:07:40,825 --> 00:07:42,827
♪ ♪
147
00:07:45,621 --> 00:07:47,580
Mmm.
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00:07:47,581 --> 00:07:50,042
- I love you.
- I love you.
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00:07:51,669 --> 00:07:55,255
You do not say "suck"
at the dinner table!
150
00:07:55,256 --> 00:07:57,340
But veggie loaf does suck.
151
00:07:57,341 --> 00:07:59,676
It sucks a whole truck
full of butts.
152
00:07:59,677 --> 00:08:01,469
You leave trucks out of this.
153
00:08:01,470 --> 00:08:03,012
Just eat your loafs.
154
00:08:03,013 --> 00:08:04,889
How was dinner
with your friend, honey?
155
00:08:04,890 --> 00:08:06,725
Suck, suck, suckity, suck,
suckity, suck.
156
00:08:06,726 --> 00:08:08,977
-It's, uh, a little different,
I'd say.
-Suck, suck, suck, suck.
157
00:08:08,978 --> 00:08:10,854
- Not better. Just different.
- Suck, suck, suck, suck...
158
00:08:10,855 --> 00:08:12,063
Can I ask a question?
159
00:08:12,064 --> 00:08:14,108
Shh. I wanna see this.
160
00:08:15,359 --> 00:08:17,610
Dina and Lucas
have never met each other,
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00:08:17,611 --> 00:08:19,696
but by the time
this roller coaster
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00:08:19,697 --> 00:08:22,866
goes down this final hill,
they'll be married.
163
00:08:22,867 --> 00:08:26,035
So, what do you do for fun?
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00:08:26,036 --> 00:08:29,748
I'm making a hammock
of human hair!
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00:08:29,749 --> 00:08:30,874
Boy, pass the salt.
166
00:08:30,875 --> 00:08:32,041
Coming right up.
167
00:08:32,042 --> 00:08:34,002
Oh!
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00:08:34,003 --> 00:08:35,587
You did that on purpose.
169
00:08:35,588 --> 00:08:37,630
Well, I'm not giving you
the satisfaction.
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00:08:37,631 --> 00:08:39,090
Excuse me, I have a question.
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00:08:39,091 --> 00:08:40,133
Not now!
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00:08:40,134 --> 00:08:42,093
I like your hair!
173
00:08:42,094 --> 00:08:44,096
Ah, get me out of here.
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00:08:47,308 --> 00:08:50,769
Oh, this is so good. Mmm.
Oh, just the way I like it.
175
00:08:50,770 --> 00:08:53,313
Mmm. Salty. So salty.
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00:08:53,314 --> 00:08:55,356
Aging rapidly.
177
00:08:55,357 --> 00:08:57,150
Where's Charlie Rose?
178
00:09:01,489 --> 00:09:03,406
Please, one simple question.
179
00:09:03,407 --> 00:09:04,866
What is it?
180
00:09:04,867 --> 00:09:08,119
Why do we have to eat dinner
together every night?
181
00:09:08,120 --> 00:09:11,539
Because it's good
for the damn family.
182
00:09:11,540 --> 00:09:14,542
Now, Lisa,
I know you're a vegetarian.
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00:09:14,543 --> 00:09:17,337
Do you mind if we eat this
in front of you?
184
00:09:17,338 --> 00:09:20,006
Oh, no. No.
Not at all.
185
00:09:20,007 --> 00:09:22,634
And the fact that you would even
ask how I felt--
186
00:09:22,635 --> 00:09:25,053
I don't need dessert,
because you being considerate
187
00:09:25,054 --> 00:09:26,930
is sweet enough.
188
00:09:26,931 --> 00:09:30,725
- Well put.
- So well put.
189
00:09:30,726 --> 00:09:34,854
Judging from you, I'm sure your
family is just as delightful
190
00:09:34,855 --> 00:09:38,358
and rinfrescante come la brezza
del lago di Como.
191
00:09:38,359 --> 00:09:42,111
Yes, my family.
192
00:09:42,112 --> 00:09:44,989
I try not to brag about them.
193
00:09:44,990 --> 00:09:46,867
More coconut water, please.
194
00:09:50,871 --> 00:09:54,082
Such a shame that we'll never,
ever meet them.
195
00:09:54,083 --> 00:09:57,043
- How come?
- We're going to be moving soon.
196
00:09:57,044 --> 00:09:58,837
My research grant came through.
197
00:09:58,838 --> 00:10:00,880
Sam's father studies
the harmful effects
198
00:10:00,881 --> 00:10:02,882
of family relocation
on children.
199
00:10:02,883 --> 00:10:05,176
Takes me all over the world.
200
00:10:05,177 --> 00:10:07,428
So I guess you'll never meet
my parents.
201
00:10:07,429 --> 00:10:10,306
So we'll only know them through
what you say right now.
202
00:10:10,307 --> 00:10:11,891
Right. Now.
203
00:10:11,892 --> 00:10:14,936
Well, my father...
204
00:10:14,937 --> 00:10:17,814
works with his hands;
he's a sculptor.
205
00:10:17,815 --> 00:10:18,857
And your mother?
206
00:10:18,858 --> 00:10:21,860
Mother is a chemist.
207
00:10:21,861 --> 00:10:24,571
And I have a sister, too.
208
00:10:24,572 --> 00:10:28,575
She's a professor of
non-linguistic communication.
209
00:10:28,576 --> 00:10:31,536
Has a high chair.
210
00:10:31,537 --> 00:10:33,789
Fascinating.
Do you have any brothers?
211
00:10:34,623 --> 00:10:36,457
Nope.
212
00:10:36,458 --> 00:10:37,959
My point is,
213
00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:39,377
there are many scientists
who have questions
214
00:10:39,378 --> 00:10:40,962
- about global warming.
- Well, that's
215
00:10:40,963 --> 00:10:43,006
an interesting perspective,
Congressman.
216
00:10:43,007 --> 00:10:46,843
Ooh. You can tell Terry Gross
is really mad at this guy.
217
00:10:46,844 --> 00:10:50,805
Oh-oh-oh-oh, you can
just let me off right here.
218
00:10:50,806 --> 00:10:52,932
No, no, no.
We'll go right to your house.
219
00:10:52,933 --> 00:10:54,767
Maybe I can meet your father.
220
00:10:54,768 --> 00:10:55,935
Ah, you sure can.
221
00:10:55,936 --> 00:10:57,812
Hey, there he is!
222
00:10:57,813 --> 00:10:59,230
Hi-diddly-ho!
223
00:10:59,231 --> 00:11:00,732
Daddy!
224
00:11:00,733 --> 00:11:02,859
Just go with it.
225
00:11:02,860 --> 00:11:04,527
God bless you and,
as I like to say,
226
00:11:04,528 --> 00:11:06,029
a hearty woo-hoo!
227
00:11:06,030 --> 00:11:08,532
Well, God bless you,
Mr. Simpson.
228
00:11:11,452 --> 00:11:13,494
I hate stupid Flanders!
229
00:11:13,495 --> 00:11:15,163
Annoyed grunt, annoyed grunt!
230
00:11:15,164 --> 00:11:16,748
Thank you.
231
00:11:16,749 --> 00:11:19,459
Mmm... deception.
232
00:11:20,711 --> 00:11:22,503
I got you a goodbye present.
233
00:11:22,504 --> 00:11:24,672
I'm really good
at goodbye presents.
234
00:11:24,673 --> 00:11:27,175
Ordered this the day I met you.
235
00:11:27,176 --> 00:11:29,969
Well, I got you a Rubik's Cube.
Solve it.
236
00:11:32,014 --> 00:11:34,223
What?!
237
00:11:34,224 --> 00:11:35,767
My government grant
was rescinded
238
00:11:35,768 --> 00:11:38,645
to pay for an exit latch
on a new fighter plane.
239
00:11:38,646 --> 00:11:41,773
The good news is, now we
can meet your wonderful mother.
240
00:11:41,774 --> 00:11:45,443
Oh. That is exactly
what you could do...
241
00:11:45,444 --> 00:11:47,571
♪ ♪
242
00:11:48,989 --> 00:11:50,657
...if I wasn't here to tell you
243
00:11:50,658 --> 00:11:53,785
my parents are going
to Portugal.
244
00:11:53,786 --> 00:11:56,663
Oh! We love Portugal!
245
00:11:56,664 --> 00:11:59,958
Let me call them
with our top ten pastelaria!
246
00:11:59,959 --> 00:12:02,877
I mean,
Portugal is their layover
247
00:12:02,878 --> 00:12:05,047
when they connect to...
248
00:12:06,924 --> 00:12:08,424
...Lithuania!
249
00:12:08,425 --> 00:12:09,842
Have you been to Lithuania?
250
00:12:09,843 --> 00:12:12,679
No. And it is quite a sore spot.
251
00:12:12,680 --> 00:12:14,764
Lisa, I'll miss you.
252
00:12:14,765 --> 00:12:16,641
Oh, no, I'm not going with them.
253
00:12:16,642 --> 00:12:18,601
I'm staying with my...
grandfather.
254
00:12:18,602 --> 00:12:20,645
That sounds right.
255
00:12:20,646 --> 00:12:23,356
- Why don't you stay with us?
- Stay with your family?
256
00:12:23,357 --> 00:12:25,692
In this home full of art
and culture
257
00:12:25,693 --> 00:12:27,860
and you got a miniature horse?
258
00:12:27,861 --> 00:12:30,446
It's a rare breed
that gets cuter as it ages.
259
00:12:30,447 --> 00:12:31,906
Aw, oh...
260
00:12:31,907 --> 00:12:34,283
So, what do you say?
261
00:12:34,284 --> 00:12:36,661
Okay, that's it.
I've been piling lie upon lie
262
00:12:36,662 --> 00:12:37,829
like a bad French farce.
263
00:12:37,830 --> 00:12:39,789
So what is one more?
264
00:12:39,790 --> 00:12:41,708
Wah, wah, waah.
265
00:12:41,709 --> 00:12:44,627
♪ ♪
266
00:12:44,628 --> 00:12:49,340
Okay, I will come over here
every night at 7:30 after my...
267
00:12:49,341 --> 00:12:52,093
swimming lessons.
268
00:12:52,094 --> 00:12:55,763
But also, I have to leave
at 6:30 every morning for my...
269
00:12:55,764 --> 00:12:58,474
morning swimming lessons.
270
00:12:58,475 --> 00:12:59,809
You're a swimmer, Lisa.
271
00:12:59,810 --> 00:13:02,895
We would never presume
to question your schedule.
272
00:13:02,896 --> 00:13:05,566
♪ ♪
273
00:13:09,028 --> 00:13:12,031
♪ ♪
274
00:13:26,628 --> 00:13:28,171
How was your swimming lesson?
275
00:13:28,172 --> 00:13:30,339
It went swimmingly!
276
00:13:33,927 --> 00:13:35,929
♪ ♪
277
00:13:43,812 --> 00:13:45,354
Wake up, sleepyhead.
278
00:13:46,690 --> 00:13:49,567
Oh. Dressed so fast.
279
00:13:49,568 --> 00:13:52,780
Well, when you wear the same
thing every day, it's easy.
280
00:13:56,076 --> 00:13:57,492
What? Huh?
281
00:13:57,493 --> 00:13:59,912
You were sleeping like teacher.
282
00:14:01,580 --> 00:14:04,165
Oh, Ralph. I'm deceiving
all the people I love,
283
00:14:04,166 --> 00:14:07,335
and it's so exciting.
284
00:14:07,336 --> 00:14:10,671
Lies are like stars--
they always come out.
285
00:14:10,672 --> 00:14:13,466
Oh, my God,
that's really profound.
286
00:14:13,467 --> 00:14:15,510
I have five face holes.
287
00:14:15,511 --> 00:14:17,386
One, two,
288
00:14:17,387 --> 00:14:20,933
three, four, fi...
289
00:14:21,517 --> 00:14:22,975
Good night, Mom.
290
00:14:22,976 --> 00:14:25,394
Good night, honey.
291
00:14:25,395 --> 00:14:27,731
♪ ♪
292
00:14:31,318 --> 00:14:33,778
Hello, Lisa.
293
00:14:33,779 --> 00:14:36,532
Sideshow Mom!
294
00:14:42,044 --> 00:14:45,650
I can't believe you've
been seeing another family!
295
00:14:45,652 --> 00:14:47,069
How did you know?
296
00:14:47,070 --> 00:14:48,487
I found out from Ned.
297
00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:50,740
He feels so guilty
about pretending
298
00:14:50,741 --> 00:14:53,285
to be your father,
but he can't stop.
299
00:14:54,244 --> 00:14:56,120
Look at me in sector 7-G!
300
00:14:56,121 --> 00:14:58,456
D'oh diddly d'oh!
301
00:14:58,457 --> 00:15:01,042
I'm sorry,
I didn't want to hurt you guys,
302
00:15:01,043 --> 00:15:02,960
I really didn't,
but once I started lying,
303
00:15:02,961 --> 00:15:04,712
I just couldn't stop.
304
00:15:04,713 --> 00:15:06,714
It's like an addiction.
305
00:15:08,508 --> 00:15:11,011
I have no idea what that's like.
306
00:15:17,267 --> 00:15:19,518
Lisa, I understand
that this family isn't perfect.
307
00:15:19,519 --> 00:15:21,437
Your mom has her flaws,
308
00:15:21,438 --> 00:15:24,065
but there are a lot of people
who really like her.
309
00:15:24,066 --> 00:15:25,941
Mom's not the problem.
310
00:15:25,942 --> 00:15:27,943
So, it's Maggie.
311
00:15:27,944 --> 00:15:29,654
I know she can't speak.
312
00:15:29,655 --> 00:15:32,725
She's just a little S-L-O.
313
00:15:32,727 --> 00:15:36,312
It's all of us, Homer.
She's embarrassed by all of us.
314
00:15:36,313 --> 00:15:38,314
No! Not at all!
315
00:15:38,315 --> 00:15:41,359
You said I was a chemist.
I'm not a chemist.
316
00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:44,529
But you are a chemist--
in the way that you deal
317
00:15:44,530 --> 00:15:46,031
with the household spills
and the way...
318
00:15:46,032 --> 00:15:47,240
Oh, spare me.
319
00:15:47,241 --> 00:15:50,118
And just what did you say I was?
320
00:15:50,119 --> 00:15:52,287
I said you never existed.
321
00:15:52,288 --> 00:15:53,830
That's the life for me!
322
00:15:53,831 --> 00:15:55,331
I'm not a chemist.
323
00:15:55,332 --> 00:15:56,833
I never even finished college.
324
00:15:56,834 --> 00:15:58,877
I'm just someone
who devotes every day
325
00:15:58,878 --> 00:16:01,880
to making your life
a little better.
326
00:16:01,881 --> 00:16:03,590
What are you gonna do to me?
327
00:16:03,591 --> 00:16:05,258
- I'm gonna make you get up...
- Yeah.
328
00:16:05,259 --> 00:16:07,093
- go to the phone...
- Okay.
329
00:16:07,094 --> 00:16:09,512
- call up that family...
- Oh, God.
330
00:16:09,513 --> 00:16:11,639
and ask them to dinner with us.
331
00:16:15,686 --> 00:16:18,104
They said they're free Saturday.
332
00:16:18,105 --> 00:16:20,065
They'll be here at 7:00.
333
00:16:20,066 --> 00:16:24,736
And they asked
if they could bring dessert!
334
00:16:24,737 --> 00:16:26,696
Whew, poor kid.
335
00:16:26,697 --> 00:16:29,199
Man, you're really
teaching her a lesson.
336
00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:31,117
We are teaching her a lesson.
337
00:16:31,118 --> 00:16:34,287
And I appreciate your support.
338
00:16:34,288 --> 00:16:35,747
Come back here!
339
00:16:35,748 --> 00:16:38,750
Ask her
if we can have pizza tonight.
340
00:16:38,751 --> 00:16:40,919
You can have pizza,
but your father
341
00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:43,380
- gets vegetables.
- D'oh!
342
00:16:47,468 --> 00:16:50,470
How could she be so embarrassed
of her own family?
343
00:16:50,471 --> 00:16:53,098
We've got to help Lisa make
a good impression.
344
00:16:53,099 --> 00:16:55,725
Stop drinking out of that hose!
345
00:16:55,726 --> 00:16:58,520
Oh, so now drinking
out of a hose
346
00:16:58,521 --> 00:17:01,689
in my own bedroom
is embarrassing!
347
00:17:03,192 --> 00:17:05,610
Homer. Homer?
348
00:17:05,611 --> 00:17:06,736
- Homer.
- Huh?
349
00:17:06,737 --> 00:17:08,905
Homer.
I'm giving you a list
350
00:17:08,906 --> 00:17:11,324
of four things to say
at dinner tonight.
351
00:17:11,325 --> 00:17:13,284
Four things. That's it.
352
00:17:13,285 --> 00:17:15,370
One, two, three...
353
00:17:15,371 --> 00:17:17,497
You're right.
354
00:17:17,498 --> 00:17:20,708
At dinner tonight, I don't want
you to be somebody you aren't.
355
00:17:20,709 --> 00:17:23,169
I also don't want you to be
who you are.
356
00:17:23,170 --> 00:17:26,631
- So just stick to these.
- All right.
357
00:17:26,632 --> 00:17:28,633
I completely angry!
358
00:17:28,634 --> 00:17:30,176
That's "agree."
359
00:17:30,177 --> 00:17:31,636
Oh. Much better.
360
00:17:31,637 --> 00:17:33,096
And that's how
361
00:17:33,097 --> 00:17:35,640
my family got
from Nigeria to London.
362
00:17:35,641 --> 00:17:37,058
Tell me more about that.
363
00:17:37,059 --> 00:17:39,060
I'm sorry, but I-I can't.
364
00:17:39,061 --> 00:17:41,771
I've literally said everything
you could say on the topic.
365
00:17:41,772 --> 00:17:43,940
You've made me recall
wonderful moments
366
00:17:43,941 --> 00:17:45,984
I haven't thought of in years.
367
00:17:45,985 --> 00:17:49,237
It's amazing
how Homer draws people out.
368
00:17:49,238 --> 00:17:50,905
I completely angr...
369
00:17:50,906 --> 00:17:52,198
a-agree.
370
00:17:52,199 --> 00:17:54,659
You're a fascinating man,
Mr. Simpson.
371
00:17:54,660 --> 00:17:57,120
I get my best ideas
in the shower.
372
00:17:57,121 --> 00:17:59,414
Tell me one.
I've been doing all the talking.
373
00:17:59,415 --> 00:18:01,917
That's really interesting.
374
00:18:03,294 --> 00:18:06,296
No, please. I want to know
what's in your head.
375
00:18:19,643 --> 00:18:21,227
Uh, you like beer?
376
00:18:21,228 --> 00:18:23,730
I love beer!
377
00:18:23,731 --> 00:18:25,565
Such a lovely family.
378
00:18:25,566 --> 00:18:28,109
We're so glad
we got to know you.
379
00:18:28,110 --> 00:18:29,986
Actually, you didn't.
380
00:18:29,987 --> 00:18:31,779
I lied about my family.
381
00:18:31,780 --> 00:18:34,365
Mom, I'm so sorry I was ashamed.
382
00:18:34,366 --> 00:18:36,993
I feel worse than
I've ever felt in my life.
383
00:18:36,994 --> 00:18:40,163
It will haunt
the person I become forever.
384
00:18:40,164 --> 00:18:42,582
Aw, honey,
I'm just as bad as you.
385
00:18:42,583 --> 00:18:45,293
I coached your father
and brother on how to act
386
00:18:45,294 --> 00:18:47,128
to get through this dinner.
387
00:18:47,129 --> 00:18:49,589
I've actually misled you myself.
388
00:18:49,590 --> 00:18:51,633
I said I'm from Nigeria.
389
00:18:51,634 --> 00:18:54,010
In truth, I moved there
when I was two.
390
00:18:54,011 --> 00:18:55,678
I'm from Cameroon.
391
00:18:55,679 --> 00:18:58,514
Didn't you wonder why the man
I told you was my father
392
00:18:58,515 --> 00:19:00,016
didn't look like him?
393
00:19:00,017 --> 00:19:02,393
I assumed
he had lost all his hair
394
00:19:02,394 --> 00:19:04,395
and put on
an obscene amount of weight.
395
00:19:04,396 --> 00:19:07,273
Well, it's really hard
running your own business.
396
00:19:07,274 --> 00:19:09,567
You don't run your own business.
397
00:19:09,568 --> 00:19:11,946
I'm starting a new farce.
398
00:19:14,448 --> 00:19:16,991
Wow, honesty
really kills a party.
399
00:19:16,992 --> 00:19:19,535
What do you say we all
go kick it in my new room?
400
00:19:19,536 --> 00:19:22,247
- When did you get a new room?
- While everyone was focused
401
00:19:22,248 --> 00:19:24,290
on Lisa,
I did a little remodel.
402
00:19:24,291 --> 00:19:26,418
I didn't pull permits,
but it's up to code.
403
00:19:30,547 --> 00:19:32,131
Boy, why did you do this?
404
00:19:32,132 --> 00:19:33,883
Where are you gonna sleep?
405
00:19:33,884 --> 00:19:37,011
Eh, sleep's for farmers.
I wanted a place to chill.
406
00:19:37,012 --> 00:19:38,263
Oh, I get it.
407
00:19:38,264 --> 00:19:39,765
Totally get it.
408
00:19:40,182 --> 00:19:42,100
So, that's two more beers.
409
00:19:42,101 --> 00:19:44,602
And... what
were you drinking there, Cheryl?
410
00:19:46,605 --> 00:19:49,107
Cranapple martini.
411
00:19:49,108 --> 00:19:51,025
My first happy ending!
412
00:19:51,026 --> 00:19:53,444
"I completely agree."
413
00:19:53,445 --> 00:19:55,697
I love you, Mom!
414
00:19:55,698 --> 00:19:57,657
I love you, Sam.
415
00:19:57,658 --> 00:19:59,492
I love you, Bart.
416
00:19:59,493 --> 00:20:01,035
And I love you,
417
00:20:01,036 --> 00:20:02,246
room.
418
00:20:08,533 --> 00:20:11,618
Disco Stu, always pitchin' woo.
419
00:20:11,619 --> 00:20:13,328
Ferocious, Drederick.
420
00:20:13,329 --> 00:20:15,121
You and the cheetah.
421
00:20:19,836 --> 00:20:22,031
Let me in.
I need to talk to the boy!
422
00:20:22,033 --> 00:20:25,202
- This has gotten out of hand!
- Not on the list.
423
00:20:25,203 --> 00:20:27,809
Aw, come on, man, I know him.
We hang out all the time.
424
00:20:27,811 --> 00:20:29,289
Sure you do.
425
00:20:29,290 --> 00:20:31,458
You can come in, sweetheart.
426
00:20:31,459 --> 00:20:33,336
I'll take care of this, Homie.
427
00:20:37,382 --> 00:20:39,800
Move along, sir.
You're blocking the fire escape.
428
00:20:39,801 --> 00:20:41,511
Oh...!
429
00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:52,897
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
430
00:21:29,559 --> 00:21:32,061
Shh!
30334
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