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1
00:00:05,638 --> 00:00:07,333
How you doing?
Welcome to the show.
2
00:00:07,507 --> 00:00:09,407
I'm Ben Stiller.
This is Janeane Garofalo.
3
00:00:09,576 --> 00:00:13,103
We're at the beach today... I won't
let you say anything till I get this out.
4
00:00:13,279 --> 00:00:16,339
We've gotten a lot of cards and letters
requesting to see...
5
00:00:16,516 --> 00:00:20,282
- Cards and letters requesting Janeane...
- But I just... Could l...? Would you...?
6
00:00:20,453 --> 00:00:22,421
We want to see you naked.
Let's face facts.
7
00:00:22,589 --> 00:00:25,786
We want to see you in a little
tight tube top, prancing around.
8
00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:29,190
- What do you say?
- I'd say you're a chubby chaser, sir.
9
00:00:30,196 --> 00:00:31,686
Janeane, come on.
10
00:00:32,499 --> 00:00:33,864
You're not chubby.
We'll be...
11
00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:35,433
Shut up. I hate that word.
Cut!
12
00:00:35,602 --> 00:00:37,069
We'll be right back after this.
13
00:00:42,409 --> 00:00:43,774
Hello.
14
00:00:43,943 --> 00:00:46,810
I am Brent Forrester.
15
00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:49,847
It's nice to be with you again.
16
00:00:50,016 --> 00:00:54,453
I want you to get ready to relax.
17
00:00:55,755 --> 00:01:01,387
Let the sound of the ocean
relax and soothe you...
18
00:01:01,961 --> 00:01:06,295
...as the tensions and distractions
of the day...
19
00:01:06,466 --> 00:01:09,094
...drift into the past.
20
00:01:10,003 --> 00:01:14,963
Let the sound of the ocean
relax every muscle.
21
00:01:16,609 --> 00:01:20,477
Starting with your calves...
22
00:01:20,647 --> 00:01:24,811
...and moving up
to your nice, creamy thighs.
23
00:01:26,152 --> 00:01:27,414
That's right.
24
00:01:28,855 --> 00:01:32,689
Relax, and rub that into your stomach.
25
00:01:33,493 --> 00:01:36,121
Very good with the lotion thing.
26
00:01:36,296 --> 00:01:38,059
Now arch your back.
27
00:01:38,898 --> 00:01:40,456
Nice.
28
00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:42,267
Very nice. Hello.
29
00:01:42,735 --> 00:01:44,464
Sorry to bother you. What?
30
00:01:44,637 --> 00:01:45,865
Don't worry about it.
31
00:01:46,039 --> 00:01:47,506
Hi, I'm Brent.
32
00:01:47,674 --> 00:01:49,141
I'm Brent.
33
00:01:49,309 --> 00:01:51,675
I'm here to relax you.
34
00:01:51,845 --> 00:01:53,779
Relax.
35
00:01:54,581 --> 00:01:56,344
Everybody take a deep breath.
36
00:01:56,516 --> 00:01:58,143
It's... There's no need to...
37
00:01:58,751 --> 00:01:59,911
In and out.
38
00:02:00,086 --> 00:02:01,883
Don't play with that thing.
39
00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:03,181
That is not a play toy.
40
00:02:03,356 --> 00:02:04,880
No! What are...?
41
00:02:05,058 --> 00:02:06,218
That thing is sharp!
42
00:02:06,392 --> 00:02:07,916
Don't make me come down there!
43
00:02:08,094 --> 00:02:09,721
I will crush you!
44
00:02:09,896 --> 00:02:11,955
You'd better run, you... You...
45
00:02:13,733 --> 00:02:16,827
Got him!
Three points for the Relaxation King.
46
00:02:18,671 --> 00:02:21,697
Now listen to the sound of the waves.
47
00:02:22,242 --> 00:02:25,336
Let each and every muscle relax.
48
00:03:38,518 --> 00:03:43,888
It's time for Roundtable,
with correspondent Art Louwater.
49
00:03:45,358 --> 00:03:48,816
Good evening. I'm Art Louwater,
and this is Roundtable.
50
00:03:48,995 --> 00:03:52,260
Tonight, television situation comedies
and politics go head-to-head.
51
00:03:52,432 --> 00:03:54,263
It all started about two weeks ago...
52
00:03:54,434 --> 00:03:58,165
...on the season premiere
of the hit comedy series Skank.
53
00:04:04,410 --> 00:04:07,777
Who turned off the stinking faucet?
I'm trying to get some sleep.
54
00:04:08,348 --> 00:04:11,317
Skank, you're not supposed
to waste water.
55
00:04:11,484 --> 00:04:14,078
Doris, it's not a waste.
You are!
56
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:17,519
Turn the faucet on
and shut your stinking trap!
57
00:04:19,459 --> 00:04:21,586
The following day,
Senator Edmund Warring...
58
00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:25,197
...made an off-the-cuff reference
to the show at an awards ceremony.
59
00:04:25,531 --> 00:04:27,431
And might I add that I am sickened...
60
00:04:29,769 --> 00:04:31,964
...by the way TV shows
such as The Skank...
61
00:04:32,138 --> 00:04:36,234
...trivialize serious issues
such as water conservation.
62
00:04:36,409 --> 00:04:41,904
I think when it comes to water usage,
Mr. Skank should shut his stinking trap.
63
00:04:46,919 --> 00:04:49,547
Skank shot back
with a hurriedly rewritten episode.
64
00:04:51,858 --> 00:04:57,455
I think when it comes to water usage,
Mr. Skank should shut his stinking trap.
65
00:04:57,630 --> 00:04:59,257
Doris, get in here!
66
00:04:59,432 --> 00:05:02,629
The world's biggest moron is on TV.
67
00:05:04,070 --> 00:05:06,334
Hey, everybody,
go turn on the faucets full blast.
68
00:05:06,506 --> 00:05:09,475
Flood the place!
I feel like taking a nap.
69
00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:14,803
You know,
the human body is 90% water.
70
00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:18,109
How much of that
is wasted every year by murder?
71
00:05:18,284 --> 00:05:19,581
Senator Warring...
72
00:05:19,752 --> 00:05:23,711
...get your priorities straight,
or shut your stinking trap!
73
00:05:23,890 --> 00:05:26,222
Thank you. Thank you.
74
00:05:26,392 --> 00:05:28,223
That's right.
75
00:05:29,662 --> 00:05:31,186
Now, here to clarify things...
76
00:05:31,364 --> 00:05:33,764
...in the studio with me
is Senator Edmund Warring...
77
00:05:33,933 --> 00:05:36,424
...and live via satellite
from his Hollywood set...
78
00:05:36,602 --> 00:05:39,127
...the actor who portrays Skank,
Theodore Hume.
79
00:05:39,305 --> 00:05:40,897
Gentlemen, thanks for joining me.
80
00:05:41,074 --> 00:05:43,304
- My pleasure.
- It's great to be here, Art.
81
00:05:43,476 --> 00:05:45,808
Mr. Hume, as the creator
and star of Skank...
82
00:05:45,978 --> 00:05:48,811
...are we to believe that you
condone the character's actions?
83
00:05:48,981 --> 00:05:51,575
I think it's rather obvious
that Skank is an antihero...
84
00:05:53,786 --> 00:05:58,814
... a clown, a Pagliacci,
not to be emulated, but rather pitied.
85
00:05:58,991 --> 00:06:01,892
- That is a load.
- I beg your pardon?
86
00:06:02,495 --> 00:06:04,588
Look, when a child sees you
up there...
87
00:06:04,764 --> 00:06:09,133
...with your madcap antics
and your slapstick behavior...
88
00:06:09,302 --> 00:06:13,500
...he's gonna try it himself,
and that means he's gonna waste water.
89
00:06:14,173 --> 00:06:15,902
Let me ask you a question, sir.
90
00:06:16,075 --> 00:06:18,566
If your daughter couldn't sleep
without water running...
91
00:06:19,912 --> 00:06:22,107
... would you protect
her freedom of choice...
92
00:06:22,281 --> 00:06:24,340
... or lock her up
and throw away the key?
93
00:06:24,517 --> 00:06:26,951
- That is unfair.
- Answer the question!
94
00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:31,250
Why don't you shut your stinking trap!
95
00:06:31,424 --> 00:06:34,484
All right, gentlemen. Why don't we
just cool our jets for a second.
96
00:06:34,660 --> 00:06:37,026
Senator Warring,
he does have a good point.
97
00:06:37,196 --> 00:06:40,393
Look, I just can't believe
that I'm being lampooned...
98
00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:42,727
...by a TV standup comedian.
99
00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:45,302
I'm examining the truth, you lou...
100
00:06:46,305 --> 00:06:48,967
Look, I have here 50 documents...
101
00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:52,873
... that state that you used to have
water-balloon fights as a child.
102
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:56,113
- Where did you get those?
- Answer the question!
103
00:06:56,315 --> 00:06:58,476
Why don't you shut your stinking trap.
104
00:06:58,651 --> 00:07:00,846
You shut your stinking trap!
105
00:07:01,187 --> 00:07:03,212
Shut your stinking trap!
106
00:07:03,389 --> 00:07:06,051
- You shut it!
- Shut your stinking trap!
107
00:07:06,225 --> 00:07:08,352
You shut your stinking trap!
108
00:07:08,528 --> 00:07:10,052
You shut your stinking trap!
109
00:07:10,229 --> 00:07:11,958
I will not listen! You shut it!
110
00:07:12,131 --> 00:07:14,292
Shut it!
Shut your stinking trap!
111
00:07:14,467 --> 00:07:17,197
- Keep your trap shut!
- Shut your trap! Shut it! Shut it!
112
00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:19,634
Shut your lousy trap!
113
00:07:19,806 --> 00:07:21,831
Gentlemen, uh, gentlemen...
114
00:07:22,842 --> 00:07:25,743
I might advise both gentlemen
to shut their stinking traps...
115
00:07:25,912 --> 00:07:27,106
...if they could hear me.
116
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:30,078
Listen, I'm Art Louwater,
and this has been Roundtable.
117
00:07:30,249 --> 00:07:31,910
Thank you for joining us.
Good night.
118
00:07:32,084 --> 00:07:33,642
- You...
- Shut your stinking...
119
00:07:34,153 --> 00:07:36,280
On the next Skank:
120
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:39,948
Everything goes nuts when the family
is visited by Senator Edmund Doofus.
121
00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:41,423
Senator!
122
00:07:41,594 --> 00:07:43,789
Have you seen my pants?
123
00:07:45,498 --> 00:07:48,626
I'm not even gonna waste my breath.
124
00:07:48,868 --> 00:07:50,927
It'll be classic Fox.
125
00:07:52,038 --> 00:07:54,233
One thing I love
about Southern California...
126
00:07:54,407 --> 00:07:57,501
...is the beautiful weather,
the clean, fresh air...
127
00:07:57,677 --> 00:08:00,145
...the natural beauty of the water,
and the...
128
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:01,777
Andy, no!
129
00:08:02,682 --> 00:08:04,946
Andy! Andy, didn't you see the sign?
130
00:08:05,117 --> 00:08:06,243
I can't read.
131
00:08:08,588 --> 00:08:10,647
Thank you.
This has been a comedy sketch...
132
00:08:10,823 --> 00:08:14,156
...but the character Andy represents
is a cross-section of this country.
133
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:17,421
People who are illiterate,
coupled with an environment...
134
00:08:17,597 --> 00:08:21,624
...that's really icky and bad,
makes for a terrible combination.
135
00:08:21,801 --> 00:08:23,928
I really drank some of that stuff.
136
00:08:24,103 --> 00:08:26,264
- You're not supposed to.
- It burned going down.
137
00:08:26,439 --> 00:08:28,498
That's what I call
commitment to a character.
138
00:08:34,914 --> 00:08:36,176
Welcome back, headslammers.
139
00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:41,013
It's time to sit in with James Hetfield
and Lars Ulrich of Metallica.
140
00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:43,348
So, boys, let's do
a conversation kind of thing.
141
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:47,653
Why don't you tell us why you decided
to do a motion picture soundtrack.
142
00:08:47,827 --> 00:08:50,261
It's like, we've always wanted
to score a film, Duff.
143
00:08:50,429 --> 00:08:52,090
It's like, we had to wait for one...
144
00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:54,995
...that was as extreme and dark
as Metallica is, you know?
145
00:08:55,167 --> 00:08:58,227
The Boy Who Magically Switches Places
With His Dad is that film.
146
00:08:58,404 --> 00:09:00,702
That's right.
James is totally tapped into...
147
00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:03,671
...the whole dark side
of the switching thing, you know?
148
00:09:03,843 --> 00:09:06,334
It's like, after we saw
18 Again together...
149
00:09:06,512 --> 00:09:09,037
...James came home
and wrote this incredible ballad.
150
00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:13,811
- "Eighteen is Three Sixes."
- Disney was insane not to buy it.
151
00:09:13,986 --> 00:09:18,423
What makes this movie different from
all the other father/son switching films?
152
00:09:19,191 --> 00:09:20,590
Different actors, you know?
153
00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:22,887
It's different actors...
154
00:09:23,062 --> 00:09:26,395
You know, the father is a host
of a TV morning show in this one.
155
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,659
I mean, think about it,
you know, it's like...
156
00:09:28,834 --> 00:09:30,699
...the kid switches places
with his dad.
157
00:09:30,870 --> 00:09:33,839
So it's like, he doesn't know
how to run a TV talk show.
158
00:09:34,006 --> 00:09:35,530
What is he gonna do?
159
00:09:35,708 --> 00:09:38,142
Well, buddies, Pauly Shore's
in this film, right?
160
00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:40,404
Why don't you tell us
how you feel about that.
161
00:09:41,147 --> 00:09:43,479
Pauly Shore scares the hell out of us.
162
00:09:43,649 --> 00:09:46,812
- But that's life, isn't it?
- It sure is. C'est la vie.
163
00:09:46,986 --> 00:09:49,614
Well, the tune is
"The Father/Son Switching Song"...
164
00:09:49,789 --> 00:09:52,622
...and the band is Metallica.
So let's check it out together.
165
00:11:58,284 --> 00:12:00,946
Well, that was some buzz clip,
now, wasn't it?
166
00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:04,317
This film deals with complex issues
on a lot of different levels...
167
00:12:04,490 --> 00:12:07,584
...but the bottom line is,
it's just the old switcheroo.
168
00:12:08,928 --> 00:12:12,420
Yeah. I was, like, thinking about what
that kid says at the end of the film.
169
00:12:12,598 --> 00:12:14,589
You know, about how
you gotta be yourself...
170
00:12:14,767 --> 00:12:16,758
...and not try to be somebody else.
171
00:12:16,936 --> 00:12:19,996
Hey, Lars, don't give away
the ending, man.
172
00:12:20,773 --> 00:12:22,172
Shoot. I'm sorry.
173
00:12:22,341 --> 00:12:24,673
Well, it's time to do
a little commercial...
174
00:12:24,844 --> 00:12:27,005
...but we'll be back
with more Metallica.
175
00:12:27,546 --> 00:12:30,413
- What are you doing, man?
- I'm sorry. I was just... stupid.
176
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:33,575
I switched places with a stupid guy
or something.
177
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:36,244
You switched places with a drum stool.
178
00:12:42,561 --> 00:12:45,724
Hello. Welcome to Andy Dick's
Political Children's Theatre...
179
00:12:45,898 --> 00:12:49,163
...where a spoonful of sugar
helps reality go down.
180
00:12:49,335 --> 00:12:52,862
Tonight's scene is meant to spark
discussion of a very serious topic:
181
00:12:53,038 --> 00:12:54,300
The homeless.
182
00:12:54,473 --> 00:12:58,375
So put on your thinking caps.
And scene.
183
00:13:01,013 --> 00:13:04,380
Hey, man, you got a dollar
for a cheese sandwich?
184
00:13:04,550 --> 00:13:08,111
Drop dead, hobo!
Why don't you work for a living?
185
00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:12,189
I can't get a job,
because I ain't got no home.
186
00:13:12,358 --> 00:13:15,657
Maybe we should have more compassion.
These are tough economic times.
187
00:13:15,828 --> 00:13:20,026
We can't just give money to any
Boxcar Willie who asks for a handout.
188
00:13:20,199 --> 00:13:23,293
So then you ain't gonna help anybody?
189
00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:24,959
Where do we draw the line?
190
00:13:26,939 --> 00:13:29,965
Where do we draw the line?
191
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:40,710
I need more ships, Sir Charles.
192
00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:43,588
To do so will cost us money.
193
00:13:43,756 --> 00:13:45,747
Not to do so...
194
00:13:46,592 --> 00:13:49,789
...will cost us England.
195
00:13:50,629 --> 00:13:53,792
Hi. Welcome back
to the KFSB Pledge-a-thon.
196
00:13:53,966 --> 00:13:56,799
When it comes to super-duper
dramatic programming...
197
00:13:56,969 --> 00:14:00,029
...public television is where you'll find it.
But guess what, people?
198
00:14:00,206 --> 00:14:05,234
Great drama doesn't grow on trees.
We won't carry at a deficit any longer.
199
00:14:05,411 --> 00:14:08,073
What we're looking for is 10,000 pledges.
200
00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:11,949
We've got our work
cut out for us, don't we?
201
00:14:12,151 --> 00:14:15,780
So let's get on the horn. In the
meantime, back to some great drama.
202
00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:21,424
Do you find my policies...
203
00:14:21,994 --> 00:14:24,929
...unwise, Sir Charles?
204
00:14:25,631 --> 00:14:30,568
With His Majesty in such a mood,
I think it best not to answer, sire.
205
00:14:30,903 --> 00:14:32,768
A shrewd response.
206
00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:35,067
But how will you respond...
207
00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:36,870
...to this?
208
00:14:37,042 --> 00:14:39,340
Welcome back
to the KFSB Pledge-a-thon.
209
00:14:39,511 --> 00:14:43,208
You don't get great drama like
that on regular television...
210
00:14:43,382 --> 00:14:46,044
...and you certainly don't
get it commercial-free.
211
00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:48,118
You know what else you don't get?
212
00:14:48,287 --> 00:14:52,223
This attractive tote, which can be yours
free when you become...
213
00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:56,384
...a "Special Friend" at PBS,
and it's only a $50 donation.
214
00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:58,120
That's right, Ruth.
215
00:14:58,297 --> 00:15:01,528
And for just $200 more, you'll become
a PBS "Cherished Companion"...
216
00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:05,227
...which entitles you to a free cassette
entitled Laugh About Washington...
217
00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:10,432
...a full hour of wit from comedian/
commentator/political satirist Mark Russell.
218
00:15:10,643 --> 00:15:11,905
Absolutely, Neil.
219
00:15:12,077 --> 00:15:15,638
Now let's get back to some of that
great uninterrupted programming.
220
00:15:17,049 --> 00:15:19,745
You have betrayed me, Sir Charles.
221
00:15:20,786 --> 00:15:23,721
The letter. I am undone.
222
00:15:24,556 --> 00:15:26,456
Now you must pay for it.
223
00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:30,219
Welcome back to the KFSB Pledge-a-thon.
224
00:15:30,396 --> 00:15:34,628
With us today is the star of the dramatic
presentation you're enjoying, Daniel Stillman.
225
00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:36,358
- Daniel, hello.
- Hi.
226
00:15:36,535 --> 00:15:41,472
Why don't you tell us what attracted you
to the role of Henry the Wicked on PBS.
227
00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:44,768
Well, Henry's always been
a fascinating human being.
228
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:49,040
He's a moral dilemma. I felt it was a good
chance to stretch some acting muscle...
229
00:15:49,214 --> 00:15:51,409
...and really get in there
and fight some demons.
230
00:15:51,583 --> 00:15:55,383
Super-duper, Daniel. So you'll be
manning the phones with us, I assume?
231
00:15:55,554 --> 00:15:58,717
You'll be in the trenches
and giving of your time.
232
00:15:59,091 --> 00:16:02,583
I hadn't...
Nobody mentioned the phones...
233
00:16:02,761 --> 00:16:05,229
...but I guess I could hang out
for a couple minutes.
234
00:16:05,397 --> 00:16:08,366
Okay, let's get back to that great
commercial-free programming...
235
00:16:08,534 --> 00:16:10,161
...that makes it all worthwhile.
236
00:16:10,402 --> 00:16:12,097
I have to really get out of here.
237
00:16:12,271 --> 00:16:15,468
Just go... Just go over to the phone.
Just... Just pretend.
238
00:16:17,376 --> 00:16:22,370
No. You...
You must reconsider, Your Majesty.
239
00:16:22,548 --> 00:16:26,814
By the way, Ruth, that personal plea
Dan made earlier is from the both of us...
240
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:31,184
...for, alas, if you do not give,
public programming will be:
241
00:16:31,357 --> 00:16:34,622
"Out, out, brief candle."
242
00:16:36,862 --> 00:16:38,489
Reconsider...
243
00:16:38,664 --> 00:16:40,928
But I... I...
244
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:46,635
For an additional $500, you become
a PBS "Bestest Buddy of Them AII."
245
00:16:46,805 --> 00:16:50,969
You'll receive seven tote bags,
a Mark Russell shirt and a mug that says:
246
00:16:51,143 --> 00:16:53,043
"I like my coffee... uninterrupted."
247
00:16:53,212 --> 00:16:55,840
Letter was part of a game...
248
00:16:56,015 --> 00:17:01,043
...where you write down
the opposite of how you feel.
249
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:05,991
What are you waiting for? Think you
could get this tote bag anywhere else?
250
00:17:06,158 --> 00:17:07,887
You can't. So make the call.
251
00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:13,563
What price England?
252
00:17:17,669 --> 00:17:21,196
PBS: Special programs, attractive totes...
253
00:17:21,373 --> 00:17:23,432
...and no commercials.
254
00:17:23,609 --> 00:17:26,237
I'm not moving till you make the call.
255
00:17:26,412 --> 00:17:27,970
- I'm quite serious.
- Excuse me...
256
00:17:28,147 --> 00:17:29,876
I can stand here all day...
257
00:17:31,483 --> 00:17:35,180
...if I have to.
The gravy train is over. Get off.
258
00:17:35,354 --> 00:17:37,788
Put something into the system.
259
00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:45,186
He looks like he's got a rope.
My goodness! What a good mime this is.
260
00:17:45,364 --> 00:17:47,127
What's going on? What are you doing?
261
00:17:47,299 --> 00:17:50,132
Andy's doing mime, and I'm his shill.
262
00:17:50,302 --> 00:17:53,271
Hey, look at him go!
Looks like he's climbing the wall.
263
00:17:53,439 --> 00:17:57,068
I like him. I'm going to give him money.
Other people should too.
264
00:17:57,242 --> 00:18:01,406
Come on. Looks like
he's really climbing the building.
265
00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:05,072
- It's an incredible illusion, really.
- It's all an illusion, though.
266
00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:08,777
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
267
00:18:08,954 --> 00:18:11,354
Andy, get down from there.
268
00:18:11,523 --> 00:18:14,924
Andy...
269
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:18,154
- We'll be right back after this.
- Andy, sketch is over.
270
00:18:18,330 --> 00:18:21,561
You know, the scary part is,
he'll reach the top and he'll keep going.
271
00:18:21,733 --> 00:18:24,725
He'll keep going, because he's a mime.
He doesn't need anything to climb.
272
00:18:24,903 --> 00:18:26,530
- Bye, Andy.
- See you.
273
00:18:28,707 --> 00:18:31,870
It's time once again for
"Stiller's Wheel of Filler."
274
00:18:32,044 --> 00:18:35,878
Where the wheel stops,
that's where the comedy goes.
275
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:42,815
Bruce Springsteen makes
an answering machine tape.
276
00:18:43,822 --> 00:18:45,983
All right.
Well, let's see here.
277
00:18:47,826 --> 00:18:50,795
Hi, this is the Boss.
Would you leave a message after the...
278
00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:53,955
No, that's... That doesn't work.
279
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:58,001
Hey, all right. Here.
280
00:18:58,170 --> 00:19:01,628
Hi. I'm in a lost treasure cave
searching for... No.
281
00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:05,174
That's ridiculous. That's not funny.
282
00:19:08,380 --> 00:19:11,144
The Boss is out.
The Boss is out.
283
00:19:11,316 --> 00:19:16,754
The Boss it out, the Boss is...
Nah, that's just not...
284
00:19:16,922 --> 00:19:20,983
Think, think, think. All right.
All right. Here we go.
285
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,219
Hello?
286
00:19:23,395 --> 00:19:25,920
What's that? I can't hear you.
You gotta speak up.
287
00:19:26,098 --> 00:19:30,057
I can't hear you.
Ha, ha! Ha, got you.
288
00:19:30,235 --> 00:19:31,827
Just playing around with you.
289
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:35,872
I'm not here right now. Would you leave
a message at the beep. Thanks a lot.
290
00:19:36,041 --> 00:19:41,274
Yeah, that's a good one.
That's gonna work.
291
00:19:41,446 --> 00:19:45,382
I can't wait for somebody to call
so I can see if they like it.
292
00:19:52,791 --> 00:19:56,659
Hello, I am Brent Forrester.
293
00:19:57,563 --> 00:19:59,497
It's nice to be with you again.
294
00:19:59,898 --> 00:20:02,890
It is time now to relax.
295
00:20:03,068 --> 00:20:08,005
Excuse me. I'm searching for the
Sandy Shoal of Creativity. Am I close?
296
00:20:08,173 --> 00:20:11,165
No. This is the Oceanfront
for Advanced Relaxation.
297
00:20:11,343 --> 00:20:15,871
You'll want to go down past
the Fertile Pastures of Assertiveness...
298
00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:18,278
...and make a right
at the Volcano of Dynamic Energy.
299
00:20:18,450 --> 00:20:19,747
You can't miss it.
300
00:20:19,918 --> 00:20:23,354
I'm running a little late. You wouldn't
mind if I stayed here, would you?
301
00:20:23,522 --> 00:20:26,787
I'm sorry, I would mind.
I have this spot for the full hour, okay?
302
00:20:26,959 --> 00:20:29,359
That's why there's sign-up sheets
for these things.
303
00:20:29,528 --> 00:20:32,361
Why don't you relax. There's room here
for the both of us.
304
00:20:32,531 --> 00:20:37,525
Don't tell me to relax.
I am Brent Forrester, "Mr. Relaxation."
305
00:20:37,703 --> 00:20:41,867
Is that supposed to impress me? I'm
Jefferson Kahn, Master of Inner Balance.
306
00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:45,498
Whoop-de-do.
Congratulations. Now leave.
307
00:20:45,677 --> 00:20:47,269
There's no need to be sarcastic.
308
00:20:47,446 --> 00:20:52,145
- You don't seem too relaxed, my friend.
- Want me to take you down, mister?
309
00:20:52,317 --> 00:20:55,980
- Lay your best shot on me, hotshot.
- Okay, turban-head.
310
00:20:56,154 --> 00:20:59,555
- I love that lipstick, by the way.
- Relax.
311
00:20:59,725 --> 00:21:01,750
- Inner peace.
- Let your inner peace...
312
00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:05,988
Negativity all flow away.
You are one with the universe.
313
00:21:06,164 --> 00:21:07,995
What's the matter?
You can't keep up?
314
00:21:08,166 --> 00:21:12,762
Allow the love and the laughter
of the universe to fill your soul.
315
00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:14,929
Are you finished, Yul Brynner?
316
00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:19,567
Find your inner peace.
Let it soothe and relax you.
317
00:21:19,745 --> 00:21:24,409
You're happy you don't look like a
pathetic super-boy with strange blond hair.
318
00:21:24,583 --> 00:21:27,313
Find your inner peace
and let it relax you.
319
00:21:27,486 --> 00:21:30,284
- That's good. You said that already.
- Find your inner peace...
320
00:21:30,455 --> 00:21:32,650
Sounds like you're busting up,
Mr. Can't-Take-It.
321
00:21:32,824 --> 00:21:35,918
L... You, shut up,
and I hate all of you!
322
00:21:36,094 --> 00:21:42,465
All of you! I hate you!
I can't take it! Oh, God!
323
00:21:42,634 --> 00:21:45,831
Well, looks like he reached
his breaking point.
324
00:21:46,004 --> 00:21:51,738
Welcome to the new man in town:
Mr. Inner Balance.
325
00:21:56,581 --> 00:21:58,139
All right, okay, listen.
326
00:21:58,317 --> 00:22:01,081
It's not fair. It's just not fair.
327
00:22:01,253 --> 00:22:03,016
I want you to apologize to Bob.
328
00:22:03,188 --> 00:22:06,419
- I'm not going to apologize.
- You destroyed his sandcastle.
329
00:22:06,591 --> 00:22:09,992
- It wasn't fair. Now, apologize.
- This isn't fair. Mine is clearly better.
330
00:22:10,162 --> 00:22:11,652
- Can I say something?
- Yeah.
331
00:22:11,830 --> 00:22:14,321
- Kaboom!
- What are you doing?
332
00:22:14,499 --> 00:22:16,057
What are you doing?
333
00:22:16,234 --> 00:22:18,099
I won!
334
00:22:18,270 --> 00:22:20,500
You stop that! Stop that!
335
00:22:20,672 --> 00:22:25,666
This is great. This is my cast.
I have a very mature cast.
336
00:22:25,844 --> 00:22:27,106
You get away!
337
00:22:27,279 --> 00:22:28,644
Don't step on my lines.
338
00:22:28,814 --> 00:22:30,247
- Step on lines?
- I'm not talking to you.
339
00:22:30,415 --> 00:22:35,079
- You use mine as a railroad track.
- You were stepping on mine.
340
00:22:35,253 --> 00:22:37,551
- Don't give me that.
- You stepped on his lines.
341
00:22:37,723 --> 00:22:39,213
Shut up. Shut up!
342
00:22:39,391 --> 00:22:41,291
- And don't step on my lines.
- I wasn't.
343
00:22:41,460 --> 00:22:43,587
- I'm a professional actor!
- So are we!
344
00:22:43,762 --> 00:22:49,325
I don't care, hear me?
Do your part, and do it well...
345
00:22:49,501 --> 00:22:51,435
...and then get out of here!
346
00:22:57,142 --> 00:22:58,131
[ENGLISH]
347
00:22:58,181 --> 00:23:02,731
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