Original subtitles

Hi. Welcome to this Suicide Girls Guide to Living.

I'm Rambo, and I'm here with some of my fellow Suicide Girls.

Friskie, Chloe,

Radeo, and Rigel, our model coordinator.

And over the next hour and a half we're gonna teach you 13 essential life lessons.

Everything from how to roll a joint to how to kill a vampire.

Some of you may know us for our world famous website suicidegirls.com.

Maybe you've seen our first two movies,

the First Tour or the Italian Villa.

Or you have something from our clothing line.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with us,

we've created a little educational primer to get you up to speed. Check it out.

Everywhere you look, the same kind of beautiful's been shoved down your throat

from every direction. Magazines, movies, television, and TMZ

show only the same photocopy versions,

the same supposed hot chick over and over again.

That's them. This is us.

Fed up with their tired and predictable definition of beauty,

we Suicide Girls are dedicated to celebrate an amazing and sexy woman

that failed to fit in society's mold.

We do not strive to be like everyone else,

but people said it made us strange or weird or screwed up.

Shut up!

We think it's what makes us beautiful.

Together, we make up the sexiest, most dangerous global sorority

of beautiful pinup girls that has every existed.

Now that you're a Suicide Girls expert, we're gonna go straight into our first lesson,

which is how to cast a love spell taught by Fractal,

who is very spooky and witchy and Gothic,

so she's the perfect girl to teach us this set.

It's a great lesson to know, because sometimes if your natural assets aren't working,

you can look for help on the other side.

So, let's learn our first lesson!

Take 25. My tattoo.

Looks insane though.

I'm Bambu. I've been a Suicide Girl for about a month now.

[heavy metal music]

It took me about three years to get the balls to do it, and I'm so glad I did.

'Cause it's hard to find places that will accept you as a model with tattoos.

Many times people look at me and like, "You're not what we're looking for."

Or something like that.

I don't really enjoy talking about them too much 'cause I get that all the time.

Like in a bar, "Oh, you know, nice tats."

And they expect you to tell your life story and why you have every single one.

But I will share it with you. My first one is on my back and I actually hate it.

That's the next thing to get covered up.

But it's a fairy 'cause I'm kind of a fairy.

Yeah, that really hurt. When people tell me tattoos don't hurt, they lie.

My next tattoo was actually a Michael Jackson tattoo.

But it's now covered up because I get too many little boy jokes.

But I love Michael Jackson. I'm obsessed with the tattoo. It's horrible.

There's a little bit where you probably can't even see it.

It's literally like a cartoon. A guy doing this.

It's pretty bad. The jokes about it where pretty bad, too.

"Where's the little boy next to it? Where's the piece?

I just got this little leopard print on my neck.

It's actually the first tattoo I got really drunk for

because I was not really liking how that felt.

On my head too it was really very, very painful,

but it's my favorite. I love it.

And then my face it was actually a really bold statement

and kinda freaks people out, and I like that shock value.

I was having a really bad couple of weeks, one thing after another.

Like horrible. It was like, I'm jumping out of an airplane

or I'm cutting off my pinkie or something,

so I decided to get my face tattooed.

My face and my head definitely changes the way people treat me.

I teach dance.

I can't even tell you how many times l walk into a job,

and I try to cover up and turn down a little bit, but there's no turning back.

They always kinda give me a look and then I'll talk and speak,

and they'll watch me teach. The kids love it.

They really love how colorful I am. "Nice tattoo." They love it.

But it's always the owner of places that are, you know,

they're a little held back, they don't really want to say,

you know, their parents are gonna freak out.

And then they get to know me and they realize it's really not a big deal,

it's not a big thing. It's who I am.

And I just like being colorful.

Really. And hopefully opens their minds a little bit, too,

'cause dance is an art, you know, so why not to look artful?

You know. You know!

Welcome back to the Suicide Girls Guide to Living.

I am Rambo, and that was Fractal teaching us the love spell.

That was so sexy.

So hot.

Yeah, she's so hot. The next set we are going to see

is how to do the sun salutation taught by James.

She is a lifelong devotee of yoga.

She even went to India for six weeks to study.

And so she came and taught us all how to do it.

Bambu, Zoli, Posh, myself and James,

we spent some time in a freezing cold warehouse,

topless, no shoes. Um, but it was totally worth it.

So, let's check it out.

Thank you, Rambo. So, I'm gonna show you guys how to do some yoga.

And I have my trustee assistants.

Zoli, Bambu, Posh, and Rambo.

Prime conditions for good yoga,

an empty warehouse full of cameras and cold.

Actually not. It's really not how you should do yoga.

But this is how we had it today, so this is what we're gonna do.

So let's go.

You wanna start with your hands in prayer position

right between your boobs. Yep.

That's what I said.

Stretch up, arms over your head.

Keep breathing.

Feel the stretch.

Bend at the waist and put your hands to the floor.

If you can't get your hands all the way to the floor, it's cool. Don't stress it.

When you're doing naked yoga,

make sure your friends are all taking pictures of you,

because, you know, that's just what you do if you're a Suicide Girl.

You bring your right leg back and look up.

Keep your hands on the floor.

And it's like a lunge position. It feels really good

when you get the good stretch.

You're gonna bring your left foot back to meet your right foot.

You'll be in plank position. You wanna be kinda straight.

Keep your stomach muscles tightened,

and your hips and your back all in one line.

You can lower down to the floor.

Put your knees, your chest and your chin on the floor. It's pretty sexy.

Look up.

Keep your hands on the floor where your shoulders were.

And get that good stretch.

Make sure you squish the boobs whenever you can.

So, downward facing dog's pretty normal, pretty basic. Everybody knows it.

Put your feet like hip-distance apart,

and put your hands about where your shoulders are.

It feels really good to keep it and hold it for a long time if you want to.

Nice good stretch on your legs and arms.

Coming out of the lunge. Bend at the waist.

Bring your head kinda to your knees.

It's okay if you can't bend all the way. Just as far as you can get.

Bend at the waist on the way up. Make sure you support your back.

Keep your arms over your head. You can put them in the prayer position over your head.

And bring your hands back to the prayer position,

right in between the boobs.

The most important thing to remember when you're doing yoga

is to breathe.

The last and final step of Suicide Girls yoga

is to take off as many clothes as possible.

Naked yoga is always the best.

Also, get as many girl friends with you as possible

because it's always a party when there's naked yoga.

Don't forget to breathe,

even when you're naked.

To the average person, the sun salutation doesn't look like a lot of hard work,

but it's a really great workout. You can do about ten repetitions of it.

Make sure you do the right and left side.