All language subtitles for Suicide Girls Guide To Living UNRATED 2009 720p BluRay x264-DNL

Hi. Welcome to
this Suicide Girls
Guide to Living.

I'm Rambo, and I'm here
with some of my fellow
Suicide Girls.

Friskie, Chloe,

Radeo, and Rigel,
our model coordinator.

And over the next hour and
a half we're gonna teach you
13 essential life lessons.

Everything from how
to roll a joint to
how to kill a vampire.

Some of you may know
us for our world famous
website suicidegirls.com.

Maybe you've seen
our first two movies,

the First Tour or
the Italian Villa.

Or you have something
from our clothing line.

For those of you who
are unfamiliar with us,

we've created a little
educational primer to get
you up to speed. Check it out.

Everywhere you look,
the same kind of beautiful's
been shoved down your throat

from every direction.
Magazines, movies,
television, and TMZ

show only the same
photocopy versions,

the same supposed
hot chick over
and over again.

That's them.
This is us.

Fed up with their
tired and predictable
definition of beauty,

we Suicide Girls are
dedicated to celebrate
an amazing and sexy woman

that failed to fit
in society's mold.

We do not strive to
be like everyone else,

but people said
it made us strange
or weird or screwed up.

Shut up!

We think it's what
makes us beautiful.

Together, we make up the
sexiest, most dangerous
global sorority

of beautiful pinup girls
that has every existed.

Now that you're a Suicide Girls
expert, we're gonna go straight
into our first lesson,

which is how
to cast a love spell
taught by Fractal,

who is very spooky
and witchy and Gothic,

so she's the perfect girl
to teach us this set.

It's a great lesson to know,
because sometimes if your
natural assets aren't working,

you can look for help
on the other side.

So, let's learn
our first lesson!

Take 25.
My tattoo.

Looks insane though.

I'm Bambu. I've been
a Suicide Girl for
about a month now.

[heavy metal music]

It took me about three years
to get the balls to do it,
and I'm so glad I did.

'Cause it's hard to find
places that will accept you
as a model with tattoos.

Many times people look
at me and like, "You're
not what we're looking for."

Or something like that.

I don't really enjoy
talking about them too much
'cause I get that all the time.

Like in a bar,
"Oh, you know,
nice tats."

And they expect you to tell
your life story and why you
have every single one.

But I will share it with you.
My first one is on my back
and I actually hate it.

That's the next thing
to get covered up.

But it's a fairy
'cause I'm kind
of a fairy.

Yeah, that really hurt.
When people tell me tattoos
don't hurt, they lie.

My next tattoo
was actually a
Michael Jackson tattoo.

But it's now covered up
because I get too many
little boy jokes.

But I love Michael Jackson.
I'm obsessed with the tattoo.
It's horrible.

There's a little bit
where you probably
can't even see it.

It's literally
like a cartoon.
A guy doing this.

It's pretty bad.
The jokes about it
where pretty bad, too.

"Where's the little
boy next to it?
Where's the piece?

I just got this
little leopard
print on my neck.

It's actually
the first tattoo
I got really drunk for

because I was not really
liking how that felt.

On my head too
it was really
very, very painful,

but it's my
favorite. I love it.

And then my face
it was actually a
really bold statement

and kinda freaks
people out, and
I like that shock value.

I was having a really
bad couple of weeks,
one thing after another.

Like horrible. It was
like, I'm jumping out
of an airplane

or I'm cutting off
my pinkie or something,

so I decided to get
my face tattooed.

My face and my head
definitely changes
the way people treat me.

I teach dance.

I can't even tell you
how many times l
walk into a job,

and I try to cover up
and turn down a little bit,
but there's no turning back.

They always kinda give me
a look and then I'll
talk and speak,

and they'll watch me
teach. The kids love it.

They really love how
colorful I am. "Nice
tattoo." They love it.

But it's always
the owner of places
that are, you know,

they're a little
held back, they don't
really want to say,

you know, their parents
are gonna freak out.

And then they get to know me
and they realize it's
really not a big deal,

it's not a big thing.
It's who I am.

And I just like
being colorful.

Really. And hopefully
opens their minds
a little bit, too,

'cause dance is an art,
you know, so why not
to look artful?

You know. You know!

Welcome back to the
Suicide Girls Guide
to Living.

I am Rambo, and that
was Fractal teaching
us the love spell.

That was so sexy.

So hot.

Yeah, she's so hot.
The next set we
are going to see

is how to do
the sun salutation
taught by James.

She is a lifelong
devotee of yoga.

She even went to India
for six weeks to study.

And so she came
and taught us all
how to do it.

Bambu, Zoli, Posh,
myself and James,

we spent some time
in a freezing cold
warehouse,

topless, no shoes.
Um, but it was
totally worth it.

So, let's check it out.

Thank you, Rambo.
So, I'm gonna show you
guys how to do some yoga.

And I have
my trustee assistants.

Zoli, Bambu,
Posh, and Rambo.

Prime conditions
for good yoga,

an empty warehouse
full of cameras
and cold.

Actually not.
It's really not
how you should do yoga.

But this is how
we had it today, so
this is what we're gonna do.

So let's go.

You wanna start
with your hands
in prayer position

right between
your boobs. Yep.

That's what I said.

Stretch up, arms
over your head.

Keep breathing.

Feel the stretch.

Bend at the waist
and put your hands
to the floor.

If you can't get your hands
all the way to the floor,
it's cool. Don't stress it.

When you're doing
naked yoga,

make sure your
friends are all
taking pictures of you,

because, you know,
that's just what you do
if you're a Suicide Girl.

You bring your
right leg back
and look up.

Keep your hands
on the floor.

And it's like
a lunge position.
It feels really good

when you get
the good stretch.

You're gonna bring
your left foot back
to meet your right foot.

You'll be in
plank position. You
wanna be kinda straight.

Keep your stomach
muscles tightened,

and your hips
and your back
all in one line.

You can lower down
to the floor.

Put your knees, your chest
and your chin on the floor.
It's pretty sexy.

Look up.

Keep your hands
on the floor where
your shoulders were.

And get that
good stretch.

Make sure you squish
the boobs whenever
you can.

So, downward facing dog's
pretty normal, pretty
basic. Everybody knows it.

Put your feet like
hip-distance apart,

and put your hands
about where your
shoulders are.

It feels really good
to keep it and hold it for
a long time if you want to.

Nice good stretch
on your legs
and arms.

Coming out of the lunge.
Bend at the waist.

Bring your head
kinda to your knees.

It's okay if you can't bend
all the way. Just as far
as you can get.

Bend at the waist
on the way up. Make
sure you support your back.

Keep your arms over your head.
You can put them in the prayer
position over your head.

And bring your hands back
to the prayer position,

right in between
the boobs.

The most important
thing to remember
when you're doing yoga

is to breathe.

The last and final step
of Suicide Girls yoga

is to take off
as many clothes
as possible.

Naked yoga is
always the best.

Also, get as many girl
friends with you
as possible

because it's always
a party when there's
naked yoga.

Don't forget to breathe,

even when you're naked.

To the average person,
the sun salutation doesn't
look like a lot of hard work,

but it's a really great
workout. You can do about
ten repetitions of it.

Make sure you do
the right and left side.