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00:00:13,473 --> 00:00:16,434
This film was restored
by PATHÉ in 2013
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00:00:31,157 --> 00:00:32,784
In those days,
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00:00:33,159 --> 00:00:35,829
from Scotland to the Gobi,
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00:00:36,329 --> 00:00:39,749
from the Turkish hills
to the Hispanic shores,
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00:00:40,333 --> 00:00:43,962
one man alone held sway over
the civilized world,
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00:00:44,212 --> 00:00:45,422
Caesar!
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00:00:46,214 --> 00:00:47,507
Each year,
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00:00:47,924 --> 00:00:51,761
mighty Caesar vacationed
in Rahat-Locum,
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00:00:52,303 --> 00:00:54,681
a Roman colony in North Africa.
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00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:37,682
A QUARTER TO TWO B.C.
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00:02:08,922 --> 00:02:11,424
Want some good grass?
It's Phoenician!
12
00:02:11,591 --> 00:02:12,550
Piss off!
13
00:04:01,451 --> 00:04:04,078
What's all this? See what's wrong!
14
00:04:04,412 --> 00:04:06,789
Outta the way!
15
00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:12,253
Don't rupture yourself!
16
00:04:13,379 --> 00:04:14,589
Move over!
17
00:04:14,756 --> 00:04:16,466
Where's the fire?
18
00:04:16,633 --> 00:04:19,552
If you're in a rush, get a camel!
19
00:04:19,719 --> 00:04:21,971
Pain in the ass!
I'm workin'!
20
00:04:22,138 --> 00:04:25,016
No reason to piss everybody off!
21
00:04:26,267 --> 00:04:28,686
Why bitch?
Ya ain't got a fare.
22
00:04:29,270 --> 00:04:32,565
Cuz I stop at noon for chow,
asshole!
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00:04:35,401 --> 00:04:39,572
Say that again...
Let's see if I get mad.
24
00:04:41,407 --> 00:04:43,493
Gonna scare me, ya big bag?
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00:04:46,329 --> 00:04:48,498
If I come over
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00:04:48,706 --> 00:04:50,041
real close
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00:04:50,208 --> 00:04:54,545
and look ya in the eye,
got the guts to repeat that?
28
00:04:54,712 --> 00:04:56,339
- Big bag!
- Me?
29
00:04:56,506 --> 00:04:58,549
Yeah! Ya know what kind?
30
00:04:58,716 --> 00:05:00,802
Me? A big bag?
31
00:05:00,969 --> 00:05:01,928
What's up?
32
00:05:02,095 --> 00:05:04,389
This dope's blockin' my way.
33
00:05:04,555 --> 00:05:08,017
Chariot races are held
in the Circus.
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00:05:08,184 --> 00:05:09,310
What a clown!
35
00:05:09,477 --> 00:05:10,812
Shut up!
36
00:05:11,396 --> 00:05:13,982
I want the street cleared by 3.
37
00:05:14,148 --> 00:05:15,858
Again!
38
00:05:16,025 --> 00:05:17,568
I'm sick of this.
39
00:05:19,445 --> 00:05:21,322
Move along! Don't gawk!
40
00:05:22,615 --> 00:05:24,617
Close up your stands!
41
00:05:24,784 --> 00:05:26,869
Caesar's guest is due.
42
00:05:27,453 --> 00:05:30,498
Clear the street for the procession.
43
00:05:30,915 --> 00:05:33,084
Close your shops!
44
00:05:33,251 --> 00:05:34,794
Same thing every day!
45
00:05:35,545 --> 00:05:38,131
Him and his foreign guests
ruin our sales!
46
00:05:38,297 --> 00:05:41,759
Always showin' off for bigwigs
from Africa.
47
00:05:42,301 --> 00:05:43,261
And Gaul!
48
00:05:43,428 --> 00:05:44,637
Enough!
49
00:05:46,264 --> 00:05:49,809
Go tell Caesar your troubles.
50
00:05:49,976 --> 00:05:51,686
He's getting some new lions.
51
00:05:52,437 --> 00:05:53,521
Big ones!
52
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And I hear they're hungry!
53
00:05:56,941 --> 00:05:58,985
We'd better leave.
54
00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:17,503
Didn't you hear me?
55
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Clear the street!
56
00:06:20,631 --> 00:06:21,883
We just told you.
57
00:06:22,050 --> 00:06:25,470
I'm just gonna grab a bite to eat.
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00:06:25,887 --> 00:06:27,221
See to this guy.
59
00:06:28,639 --> 00:06:30,391
Ok... ok...
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00:06:43,613 --> 00:06:46,574
The Consul will convert
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00:06:46,741 --> 00:06:49,202
the Julian Severus Theater
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00:06:49,368 --> 00:06:52,163
into a supermarket
to increase government profits...
63
00:06:52,330 --> 00:06:53,664
- Camparius!
- Americanus!
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00:06:53,831 --> 00:06:56,667
Hot tea but hold the sugar!
65
00:06:58,586 --> 00:07:00,713
I'm on a diet.
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00:07:01,672 --> 00:07:06,344
Tax will be the same
for urban and provincial Romans
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00:07:06,552 --> 00:07:08,012
enabling them
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00:07:08,179 --> 00:07:12,600
to proudly share in the grandeur
of Rome.
69
00:07:13,101 --> 00:07:14,769
To hell with Rome!
70
00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:20,191
Arab emirs at the Congress
of Oat-Producing Nations
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00:07:20,358 --> 00:07:24,195
today announced a rise
to 18 sesterces
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00:07:24,362 --> 00:07:26,114
per quintal of grain.
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00:07:28,116 --> 00:07:32,370
Many emirs are arriving
for the festivities
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00:07:32,537 --> 00:07:35,706
organized by mighty Caesar in honor
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00:07:35,915 --> 00:07:37,041
of Cleopatra.
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00:07:37,208 --> 00:07:39,127
Kill the boob tube!
77
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In Bethlehem...
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00:07:40,711 --> 00:07:42,797
It's all bullshit!
79
00:07:43,339 --> 00:07:46,884
What'll become of us?
The price of oats is up
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00:07:47,051 --> 00:07:51,097
and this supermarket
will ruin business!
81
00:07:51,264 --> 00:07:54,225
So have a glass of champagnus!
82
00:07:54,392 --> 00:07:55,518
Ya don't care?
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00:07:55,685 --> 00:07:57,145
You bet I don't.
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00:07:57,311 --> 00:08:01,399
If the supermarket puts you
out of business
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00:08:01,566 --> 00:08:05,987
and keeps deliveries from blockin'
traffic, I won't mind!
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00:08:06,154 --> 00:08:07,655
Slob!
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00:08:07,822 --> 00:08:09,490
Hey, if you're so tough
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00:08:09,699 --> 00:08:12,201
use your merchants' union!
89
00:08:12,368 --> 00:08:14,954
Sounds like a revolt's in the air!
90
00:08:15,746 --> 00:08:18,541
Paulus is needlin' us.
Seen TV?
91
00:08:18,708 --> 00:08:20,459
Like everybody!
92
00:08:21,127 --> 00:08:22,712
We gotta stop 'em!
93
00:08:22,879 --> 00:08:24,213
Exactly!
94
00:08:24,380 --> 00:08:25,882
Know what I say?
95
00:08:26,549 --> 00:08:30,678
Caesar's the big bad wolf
cuz the Romans are lambs!
96
00:08:31,095 --> 00:08:35,600
Caesar's a lion
cuz the Romans are deers!
97
00:08:35,933 --> 00:08:37,602
- True!
- Smart words!
98
00:08:37,810 --> 00:08:38,728
He's smart.
99
00:08:38,895 --> 00:08:40,521
Smart! But what else?
100
00:08:40,688 --> 00:08:42,607
So what else, smarty?
101
00:08:43,816 --> 00:08:46,569
I say we should let Caesar know
102
00:08:47,111 --> 00:08:49,197
that we're fed up!
103
00:08:50,656 --> 00:08:54,285
We should pick
a strong-fisted leader
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00:08:54,911 --> 00:08:57,330
who'll tell him so!
105
00:08:58,331 --> 00:09:02,251
That we're sick and tired
and fed up!
106
00:09:02,418 --> 00:09:04,420
Right! Exactly!
107
00:09:05,171 --> 00:09:06,464
And it's you!
108
00:09:06,631 --> 00:09:07,465
What?
109
00:09:07,632 --> 00:09:09,300
The strong-fisted leader!
110
00:09:10,009 --> 00:09:12,094
President of the Merchants!
111
00:09:12,261 --> 00:09:13,304
But...
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00:09:13,471 --> 00:09:16,140
We'll go see the Consul
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00:09:16,307 --> 00:09:19,310
und let Ben-Hur Marcel
speak for us all!
114
00:09:20,603 --> 00:09:23,356
And say it's the last straw!
115
00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:28,486
Be our leader, Ben-Hur Marcel!
116
00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:35,493
Ben-Hur Marcel's gonna talk to
the Consul!
117
00:09:46,045 --> 00:09:51,008
Ben-Hur Marcel's gonna speak
for us all!
118
00:10:14,949 --> 00:10:16,117
What is it?
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00:10:16,284 --> 00:10:18,160
- The masses!
- Well?
120
00:10:18,327 --> 00:10:20,871
They seem to be crabby, Consul.
121
00:10:40,474 --> 00:10:42,727
I got your message!
122
00:10:45,855 --> 00:10:47,148
Citizens!
123
00:10:47,565 --> 00:10:49,692
Do you want lower taxes?
124
00:10:51,819 --> 00:10:53,612
Work for all?
125
00:10:55,531 --> 00:10:57,491
An end to inflation?
126
00:10:58,993 --> 00:11:01,579
We can do nothing for now
127
00:11:01,746 --> 00:11:04,790
but as soon as we can,
we'll double our efforts!
128
00:11:11,130 --> 00:11:14,425
Promises, promises!
We want guarantees!
129
00:11:14,842 --> 00:11:15,885
Guarantees!
130
00:11:16,302 --> 00:11:18,137
They're being a drag.
131
00:11:18,596 --> 00:11:21,474
This can't go on!
Rome is a democracy!
132
00:11:21,724 --> 00:11:23,309
We have rights!
133
00:11:30,608 --> 00:11:31,650
Who are you?
134
00:11:32,193 --> 00:11:35,571
Ben-Hur Marcel! Mechanic!
Merchants' President!
135
00:11:36,447 --> 00:11:38,949
You're their leader?
136
00:11:39,116 --> 00:11:40,826
Too right, Dwight!
137
00:11:41,285 --> 00:11:42,203
So speak up!
138
00:11:42,745 --> 00:11:45,664
Things were fine till Caesar came.
139
00:11:45,831 --> 00:11:47,917
Then the shit hit the fan!
140
00:11:54,673 --> 00:11:57,093
Caesar bestrides the world!
141
00:11:57,259 --> 00:12:00,679
We trot between the giant legs
like midgets.
142
00:12:02,139 --> 00:12:05,226
On what flesh does Caesar feed
143
00:12:05,393 --> 00:12:06,894
to become so great?
144
00:12:07,770 --> 00:12:10,856
Are Rome's walls to gird
but one man?
145
00:12:11,065 --> 00:12:13,901
So we're fed up with Caesar!
146
00:12:17,530 --> 00:12:19,115
Me?
147
00:12:19,323 --> 00:12:20,908
Why not the others?
148
00:12:21,075 --> 00:12:22,660
You're alone, asshole!
149
00:12:28,165 --> 00:12:32,461
Listen, Demetrius Cassius
Titus Marcus Et Ceterus...
150
00:12:32,628 --> 00:12:35,339
My designer miscut my pleats!
151
00:12:35,506 --> 00:12:39,176
I can't wear this rag
to Caesar's Palace!
152
00:12:39,343 --> 00:12:42,555
I want him torn to shreds
in the arena!
153
00:12:42,721 --> 00:12:44,014
A bloody ragdoll!
154
00:12:44,181 --> 00:12:45,433
Not in front of the guards...
155
00:12:45,599 --> 00:12:46,725
Screw the guards!
156
00:12:46,892 --> 00:12:50,354
Toss him in the arena
with a trident in his torso!
157
00:12:50,563 --> 00:12:53,107
A sword slicing up his entrails!
158
00:12:53,274 --> 00:12:56,902
His bruised body in a net!
His nose bashed!
159
00:12:57,069 --> 00:12:59,613
Enough of this!
160
00:12:59,780 --> 00:13:02,491
You've made me throw
a plumber to the lions...
161
00:13:02,658 --> 00:13:04,118
Crucify a barber.
162
00:13:04,285 --> 00:13:06,787
- Indeed!
- Now a dress designer?
163
00:13:06,954 --> 00:13:08,080
So?
164
00:13:12,543 --> 00:13:16,255
You're going to damage
my popularity!
165
00:13:16,672 --> 00:13:19,717
Why did a nice Gallic gal like me
marry a Roman?
166
00:13:20,759 --> 00:13:22,470
Now what?
167
00:13:23,137 --> 00:13:26,265
Hail. Demetrius Cassius Marcus Oct...
168
00:13:26,432 --> 00:13:27,850
Never mind!
169
00:13:28,684 --> 00:13:31,645
- Well?
- Actually, in front of...
170
00:13:31,812 --> 00:13:35,107
What's with this make-believe macho?
171
00:13:35,274 --> 00:13:39,612
I'm the Consul's wife!
I hear all that goes on here.
172
00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:43,407
Careful or you'll end up
in the arena!
173
00:13:43,824 --> 00:13:45,409
Enough of that!
174
00:13:46,952 --> 00:13:47,786
Go on.
175
00:13:47,953 --> 00:13:49,580
It's your son...
176
00:13:49,747 --> 00:13:52,166
His son? MY son! What's wrong?
177
00:13:52,374 --> 00:13:55,878
He's dead! Hurt!
Do something, you Roman!
178
00:13:56,295 --> 00:13:58,380
Give it a rest, Laetitia!
179
00:13:58,964 --> 00:13:59,798
My son?
180
00:14:00,299 --> 00:14:04,011
He was driving a chariot drunk.
181
00:14:04,178 --> 00:14:05,012
Jupiter be praised.
182
00:14:05,221 --> 00:14:06,472
The schmuck!
183
00:14:08,307 --> 00:14:09,642
Bring him to me.
184
00:14:10,142 --> 00:14:12,937
- The Highway Guards have him.
- So?
185
00:14:13,103 --> 00:14:16,106
Highway Guards
and Palace Guards don't...
186
00:14:18,234 --> 00:14:21,654
Free him! And tell
the Highway Guards
187
00:14:21,820 --> 00:14:25,950
to shape up or I'll put a few
in the arena!
188
00:14:26,492 --> 00:14:27,743
Finally!
189
00:14:27,910 --> 00:14:30,538
Go tend to your lace laurels!
190
00:15:00,985 --> 00:15:03,070
He really stuffs himself!
191
00:15:03,529 --> 00:15:05,990
3 or 4 every Sunday in the arena!
192
00:15:07,324 --> 00:15:08,826
Especially Greeks!
193
00:15:09,201 --> 00:15:13,205
He has a soft spot for Greeks.
194
00:15:13,998 --> 00:15:15,833
It must be their diet.
195
00:15:16,375 --> 00:15:19,253
Stuffed grape leaves, souvlaki...
196
00:15:19,461 --> 00:15:21,922
Greeks are tasty, eh, Lucien?
197
00:15:24,717 --> 00:15:28,178
It's odd...
Turks eat like Greeks but...
198
00:15:28,345 --> 00:15:30,472
he's not hot for Turks.
199
00:15:31,223 --> 00:15:35,019
He doesn't like Spartans much.
Too dry!
200
00:15:35,978 --> 00:15:39,148
He tears them up.
201
00:15:41,233 --> 00:15:45,279
He toys with their sandals
but hardly eats a thing.
202
00:15:45,446 --> 00:15:47,740
Gauls are too pickled.
203
00:15:47,906 --> 00:15:52,036
He won't touch Biafrans.
That's understandable.
204
00:15:53,787 --> 00:15:54,872
And Romans?
205
00:15:56,123 --> 00:15:58,876
He loves them for dessert.
206
00:15:59,335 --> 00:16:02,755
They're like rum cakes for him
207
00:16:02,921 --> 00:16:04,465
but he doesn't get many.
208
00:16:04,632 --> 00:16:08,302
Only skinny common criminals
fed on
209
00:16:08,469 --> 00:16:09,637
dry bread.
210
00:16:09,803 --> 00:16:11,263
But you!
211
00:16:14,266 --> 00:16:15,809
You'll be a feast!
212
00:16:16,644 --> 00:16:18,687
Look...
213
00:16:19,605 --> 00:16:20,731
He's spotted you!
214
00:16:21,774 --> 00:16:25,069
He has a good eye.
He knows who's who!
215
00:16:25,277 --> 00:16:27,071
We could make a deal.
216
00:16:28,530 --> 00:16:29,782
Listen,
217
00:16:29,948 --> 00:16:32,117
you let me knock you out
218
00:16:32,284 --> 00:16:34,787
and then fall
so I can grab your keys.
219
00:16:34,953 --> 00:16:35,788
I'll pay!
220
00:16:36,205 --> 00:16:38,749
Let you escape? You're joking?
221
00:16:40,626 --> 00:16:43,879
Now I'm all for making a little cash.
222
00:16:44,046 --> 00:16:47,966
Civil servants' pay is low
and fully declared.
223
00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:50,844
So if ya want extras...
224
00:16:51,011 --> 00:16:53,305
Having food brought in,
225
00:16:53,681 --> 00:16:55,099
some packages...
226
00:16:55,307 --> 00:16:57,267
But no escape!
227
00:16:57,434 --> 00:17:00,437
I'd land in the arena in your place!
228
00:17:01,397 --> 00:17:05,567
Then again,
Lucien wouldn't touch me.
229
00:17:06,568 --> 00:17:08,404
- Right, Lucien?
- See!
230
00:17:08,612 --> 00:17:10,322
But the others!
231
00:17:10,489 --> 00:17:12,533
The gladiators!
232
00:17:12,700 --> 00:17:15,828
They're wild animals!
They jab a trident
233
00:17:15,994 --> 00:17:18,747
down your throat and twist it!
234
00:17:18,914 --> 00:17:20,749
They lop off your hands!
235
00:17:21,834 --> 00:17:26,171
They bash heads with axes!
It hurts!
236
00:17:26,338 --> 00:17:29,133
They leave you in the sun
237
00:17:29,299 --> 00:17:31,301
covered with honey and ants.
238
00:17:31,468 --> 00:17:35,556
Camels lick you
while you slowly die,
239
00:17:35,723 --> 00:17:38,851
lying for hours in the hot sun.
240
00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:43,731
Right, I need to clean up the arena
241
00:17:43,939 --> 00:17:45,649
and scatter some sawdust.
242
00:17:45,816 --> 00:17:48,318
It's gonna be
a bloody Sunday.
243
00:17:48,485 --> 00:17:50,237
Spurting blood!
244
00:17:52,448 --> 00:17:54,032
Calm down, Lucien!
245
00:17:55,492 --> 00:17:57,119
Be patient!
246
00:17:59,747 --> 00:18:01,290
Sunday he's yours!
247
00:18:04,001 --> 00:18:04,918
A plot?
248
00:18:05,085 --> 00:18:06,545
Plenty of them!
249
00:18:06,712 --> 00:18:10,090
But we can't check everybody's ID,
250
00:18:10,257 --> 00:18:12,217
frisk chariots, arrest students
251
00:18:12,384 --> 00:18:16,430
without arousing the masses
who are baying for blood.
252
00:18:16,597 --> 00:18:19,683
So we'll organize our own plot.
253
00:18:19,850 --> 00:18:22,478
It'll also unmask rabble-rousers.
254
00:18:22,644 --> 00:18:26,607
Once Caesar survives
our phony ambush,
255
00:18:26,774 --> 00:18:29,234
we can arrest plenty of suspects!
256
00:18:29,401 --> 00:18:32,070
Brilliant, Consul!
We must hire
257
00:18:32,237 --> 00:18:34,323
a clever firebrand,
loyal to us,
258
00:18:34,740 --> 00:18:35,783
of course.
259
00:18:37,242 --> 00:18:39,912
Don't you have an agent
smart enough?
260
00:18:40,662 --> 00:18:41,538
Leave us!
261
00:18:41,705 --> 00:18:43,791
My men are just cops!
262
00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:46,376
No intelligent ones there!
263
00:18:48,712 --> 00:18:50,422
Or use someone very dumb!
264
00:18:50,589 --> 00:18:51,673
That'd do.
265
00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:53,467
That we can find!
266
00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:55,052
Hail, Deme...
267
00:18:55,219 --> 00:18:59,264
Stop hailing me all day!
It gets on my nerves!
268
00:19:01,391 --> 00:19:02,476
Well?
269
00:19:03,185 --> 00:19:07,564
I got your son released
from the Highway Guards.
270
00:19:08,357 --> 00:19:10,108
Look at that get-up!
271
00:19:10,734 --> 00:19:12,194
Go to your room.
272
00:19:15,989 --> 00:19:17,199
Don't smirk!
273
00:19:17,991 --> 00:19:21,161
Next time you'll stay in stir!
274
00:19:25,499 --> 00:19:26,625
And the town?
275
00:19:26,792 --> 00:19:28,502
All going swimmingly.
276
00:19:28,669 --> 00:19:31,880
Their ringleader is in prison.
277
00:19:32,548 --> 00:19:34,800
- People?
- No worries!
278
00:19:34,967 --> 00:19:38,387
The guy was just a mechanic.
279
00:19:39,429 --> 00:19:42,391
It's a pity to feed him to a lion.
280
00:19:42,558 --> 00:19:46,228
He's the only good chariot
mechanic in this damn town.
281
00:19:47,479 --> 00:19:51,358
Why in Hades are we here
except to please
282
00:19:51,525 --> 00:19:53,527
a brainless emperor
283
00:19:53,735 --> 00:19:57,281
who in the meantime is...
Sorry!
284
00:19:57,447 --> 00:19:58,991
My nerves are shot to hell.
285
00:19:59,157 --> 00:20:01,869
Yes, I know...
You may go.
286
00:20:07,291 --> 00:20:12,087
Shitty Jupiter-damned cape
of a half-assed uniform!
287
00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:16,550
The men are fed up
with all this shit.
288
00:20:16,717 --> 00:20:18,135
All this... shit.
289
00:20:18,302 --> 00:20:20,429
That idiot gave me an idea.
290
00:20:23,473 --> 00:20:25,475
What's the mechanic's name?
291
00:20:25,642 --> 00:20:26,685
Ben-Hur Marcel.
292
00:20:26,852 --> 00:20:30,230
Not very Roman,
but it's just as well.
293
00:20:31,023 --> 00:20:34,026
He's the man
for our phony conspiracy.
294
00:20:34,610 --> 00:20:36,278
Everyone heard him.
295
00:20:36,445 --> 00:20:37,446
He's in jail now,
296
00:20:37,613 --> 00:20:39,615
for plotting against Caesar!
297
00:20:39,781 --> 00:20:41,825
Brilliant, Consul!
298
00:20:55,797 --> 00:20:58,967
She reigns over Egypt
299
00:20:59,134 --> 00:21:02,137
Each pyramid and crypt
300
00:21:02,304 --> 00:21:04,306
Sings the praises
301
00:21:04,473 --> 00:21:08,727
of her ancestors the Pharaohs
302
00:21:09,311 --> 00:21:12,356
Neath the skies of Egypta
303
00:21:12,522 --> 00:21:15,984
There grows the calyptra
304
00:21:16,151 --> 00:21:19,738
Amid blossoms and rocks
305
00:21:19,905 --> 00:21:22,824
Glide swans and peacocks
306
00:21:30,123 --> 00:21:31,750
Let Asskisserus pass!
307
00:21:31,959 --> 00:21:36,171
Hail to the envoy
of Consul Demetrius!
308
00:21:40,050 --> 00:21:43,095
Keep your own nose, dear Queen.
309
00:21:43,261 --> 00:21:47,349
One too long could change
the face of the world.
310
00:21:48,308 --> 00:21:51,728
Divine Cleopatra,
may the Gods help me
311
00:21:51,895 --> 00:21:53,730
to convince
312
00:21:53,897 --> 00:21:58,026
Your Luminous Majesty
that although
313
00:21:58,193 --> 00:22:02,322
mighty Caesar holds the fate
of the world in his hands,
314
00:22:02,864 --> 00:22:05,117
yet in the provinces
as the Gauls say
315
00:22:05,283 --> 00:22:07,744
"Though smart as foxes,
we're not oxes!"
316
00:22:10,872 --> 00:22:13,959
Rahat-Locum
is not like Imperial Rome
317
00:22:14,126 --> 00:22:16,503
where roads are broad and wide,
318
00:22:17,170 --> 00:22:20,007
suitable for processions.
319
00:22:20,590 --> 00:22:22,134
Asskisserus, you windbag!
320
00:22:22,551 --> 00:22:25,178
Full of hot air!
321
00:22:25,345 --> 00:22:27,097
But, divine Cleopatra!
322
00:22:28,724 --> 00:22:32,477
Rahat-Locum is a tiny town
of narrow alleys
323
00:22:32,644 --> 00:22:36,023
and difficult, twisting,
sandy streets.
324
00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:38,025
Majestic Luminosity...
325
00:22:38,191 --> 00:22:41,278
Your Luminous Majesty should
326
00:22:41,486 --> 00:22:43,530
use the express highway.
327
00:22:44,072 --> 00:22:45,657
Am I dreaming?
328
00:22:47,367 --> 00:22:52,080
Tell your Emperor
the Queen of Egypt makes the laws!
329
00:22:52,748 --> 00:22:57,586
Pyramid builders don't use
express highways
330
00:22:57,753 --> 00:23:00,714
amid Roman delivery chariots!
331
00:23:01,965 --> 00:23:04,968
I'll use Rahat-Locum's main avenue.
332
00:23:05,135 --> 00:23:10,348
If it's not wide enough,
tell mighty Caesar
333
00:23:11,141 --> 00:23:13,477
to raze half the city!
334
00:23:14,603 --> 00:23:15,812
Like this!
335
00:23:16,271 --> 00:23:17,439
Is that clear?
336
00:23:18,148 --> 00:23:19,107
But, Majesty...
337
00:23:19,274 --> 00:23:21,109
Remove this ass
338
00:23:21,318 --> 00:23:23,111
and his building blocks!
339
00:23:24,071 --> 00:23:29,242
I only express the orders of
the Consul who is not too smart.
340
00:23:30,118 --> 00:23:33,705
It's awful having to work
for such a dope!
341
00:23:34,873 --> 00:23:38,251
If I could serve
a sovereign like you,
342
00:23:38,418 --> 00:23:41,838
Luminous Majesty!
Majestic Luminosity!
343
00:23:53,975 --> 00:23:57,521
Musculus!
Bicepsus! Tricepsus!
344
00:23:57,687 --> 00:24:01,024
Dorsus dorsalum! Dorsus pectorus!
345
00:24:08,031 --> 00:24:11,368
Musculus bicepsus!
Tricepsus et pectorem!
346
00:24:12,410 --> 00:24:14,246
Who's the little dark man?
347
00:24:14,412 --> 00:24:16,081
- Dark?
- Pudgy?
348
00:24:16,248 --> 00:24:17,624
The dark pudgy one.
349
00:24:17,791 --> 00:24:19,084
Juvenius, Consul.
350
00:24:19,251 --> 00:24:20,377
Juvenius!
351
00:24:20,544 --> 00:24:22,087
He trains badly.
352
00:24:22,587 --> 00:24:24,256
He should be punished.
353
00:24:24,422 --> 00:24:26,341
Indeed, Caesar. You heard?
354
00:24:27,175 --> 00:24:30,095
I'll cast him into the arena
355
00:24:30,595 --> 00:24:31,680
next Sunday!
356
00:24:31,847 --> 00:24:33,682
Caesar's hard but fair.
357
00:24:33,849 --> 00:24:38,103
He must be punished
but not in the arena.
358
00:24:38,728 --> 00:24:40,605
Put him on night duty.
359
00:24:41,148 --> 00:24:43,817
As you wish, great Caesar.
360
00:24:43,984 --> 00:24:48,655
He'll stand guard for a week
at the North Gate
361
00:24:49,865 --> 00:24:51,616
where nights are harshest.
362
00:24:51,783 --> 00:24:56,163
You're the harsh one!
Don't be so severe.
363
00:24:56,329 --> 00:25:00,375
Post him outside my room
tomorrow night.
364
00:25:02,294 --> 00:25:03,920
Do as you're told.
365
00:25:04,087 --> 00:25:07,340
Add a man
in case he goes off duty.
366
00:25:07,507 --> 00:25:08,925
He wouldn't dare!
367
00:25:09,092 --> 00:25:10,844
You schmuck.
368
00:25:11,344 --> 00:25:15,348
Do it or you'll end up
in a lion's belly.
369
00:25:15,849 --> 00:25:17,058
Yes, Consul.
370
00:25:18,185 --> 00:25:21,521
Come with me.
We have serious matters to discuss.
371
00:25:32,699 --> 00:25:36,870
Demetrius, baby,
just who is this Cleopatra?
372
00:25:37,037 --> 00:25:38,121
A savage?
373
00:25:38,288 --> 00:25:41,166
They say she's a woman of power.
374
00:25:41,666 --> 00:25:43,752
Girl-scout type?
375
00:25:43,919 --> 00:25:47,797
No.
Dictatorial but fairly feminine.
376
00:25:47,964 --> 00:25:49,424
How ghastly!
377
00:25:49,591 --> 00:25:51,801
But for the good of Rome we must
378
00:25:51,968 --> 00:25:54,638
give her a perfect reception.
379
00:25:57,307 --> 00:25:59,726
What do you think of these?
380
00:26:00,310 --> 00:26:03,230
My costumes for the festivities!
381
00:26:03,396 --> 00:26:05,565
Very gay! I hope it's sunny.
382
00:26:06,566 --> 00:26:08,485
I want fabulous games!
383
00:26:08,652 --> 00:26:11,279
Chariot races, gladiators...
384
00:26:11,446 --> 00:26:16,660
I want gladiators who are big,
handsome and virile and all...
385
00:26:16,952 --> 00:26:21,164
plus 2 or 3 not too big,
not too skinny.
386
00:26:21,331 --> 00:26:22,582
Some pudgies.
387
00:26:22,749 --> 00:26:26,878
As you wish.
But I'd like to talk politics.
388
00:26:28,171 --> 00:26:30,548
Politics!
That bores me to tears!
389
00:26:30,715 --> 00:26:34,052
I'm busy preparing for the Armenian!
390
00:26:34,219 --> 00:26:35,136
Egyptian!
391
00:26:35,303 --> 00:26:37,514
If you say so... Egyptian!
392
00:26:37,681 --> 00:26:41,977
Must I worry about politics as well?
393
00:26:42,394 --> 00:26:46,690
Noble Caesar,
the people are discontent.
394
00:26:47,482 --> 00:26:50,235
People! What are the people?
395
00:26:50,652 --> 00:26:52,195
Plumbers and maids!
396
00:26:52,362 --> 00:26:56,658
Must I reign for the people?
397
00:26:56,825 --> 00:26:59,369
Aside from them
is everyone else happy?
398
00:26:59,536 --> 00:27:01,204
Absolutely.
399
00:27:01,371 --> 00:27:04,749
So let's run the country
with the decent people!
400
00:27:05,458 --> 00:27:07,210
That's impossible.
401
00:27:07,752 --> 00:27:10,213
Revolt is sprouting everywhere.
402
00:27:10,755 --> 00:27:14,884
Each day state officials,
judges, centurions,
403
00:27:15,510 --> 00:27:18,888
tax collectors
are attacked by the Purple Brigades.
404
00:27:19,514 --> 00:27:22,517
Public buildings are damaged daily.
405
00:27:25,145 --> 00:27:26,354
Just look!
406
00:27:27,355 --> 00:27:28,815
The Courthouse...
407
00:27:29,649 --> 00:27:31,276
The Tax Center...
408
00:27:32,027 --> 00:27:33,570
The Circus...
409
00:27:33,737 --> 00:27:35,697
They've all been hit!
410
00:27:36,114 --> 00:27:39,576
The Purple Brigades even smashed
your statue.
411
00:27:39,743 --> 00:27:41,161
Good!
412
00:27:41,328 --> 00:27:43,121
I hated the outfit
I was wearing.
413
00:27:43,288 --> 00:27:45,290
I'll have it redone,
414
00:27:45,457 --> 00:27:50,420
with pleats down the front
and a much fuller cut.
415
00:27:50,587 --> 00:27:51,504
Take measures.
416
00:27:51,671 --> 00:27:53,256
Send me my sculptor.
417
00:27:53,423 --> 00:27:55,008
Political measures!
418
00:27:55,175 --> 00:27:58,261
Be an angel and see to all that!
419
00:27:58,428 --> 00:27:59,262
And also...
420
00:27:59,429 --> 00:28:02,140
Hush! That's enough!
421
00:28:02,849 --> 00:28:07,479
Having an empire's fine
but I want my privacy too!
422
00:28:08,688 --> 00:28:10,857
Have I no right to live?
423
00:28:11,066 --> 00:28:13,068
The state... The Empire...
424
00:28:13,526 --> 00:28:15,487
Listen to me, noble Caesar!
425
00:28:15,653 --> 00:28:19,741
Our economy needs an alliance
with Egypt.
426
00:28:20,658 --> 00:28:22,619
Couldn't you take...
427
00:28:23,661 --> 00:28:25,580
advantage of her visit...
428
00:28:26,581 --> 00:28:29,042
and offer to wed Cleopatra?
429
00:28:29,876 --> 00:28:33,380
Wed? What do you mean?
Marriage?
430
00:28:33,546 --> 00:28:36,341
Only for political reasons!
431
00:28:36,508 --> 00:28:38,343
You wouldn't have to...
432
00:28:39,511 --> 00:28:42,680
What? He's lost his mind!
433
00:28:42,847 --> 00:28:44,766
Me? Wed an Ethiopian?
434
00:28:44,933 --> 00:28:46,184
Egyptian...
435
00:28:46,559 --> 00:28:49,729
Sweetie,
I know you're devoted to me,
436
00:28:49,896 --> 00:28:54,109
fussing over the Empire,
but you need a rest!
437
00:28:54,275 --> 00:28:58,321
I mean, really!
Frankly, you've flipped!
438
00:29:00,990 --> 00:29:05,870
Me with a broad and bawling brats?
A nightmare!
439
00:29:07,038 --> 00:29:09,040
Ciao, Consul baby.
440
00:29:10,291 --> 00:29:12,001
That's too funny!
441
00:29:12,168 --> 00:29:14,295
Go, home, have some herb tea
442
00:29:16,339 --> 00:29:17,924
and go beddy-byes!
443
00:29:18,591 --> 00:29:22,178
I can't get over it!
He said "wed"!
444
00:29:22,554 --> 00:29:25,682
Of all things!
445
00:29:25,849 --> 00:29:29,561
I never heard anything so silly!
446
00:30:19,569 --> 00:30:20,695
What's Caesar like?
447
00:30:20,904 --> 00:30:22,947
They say he's very strong.
448
00:30:23,364 --> 00:30:24,741
I mean as a person.
449
00:30:25,366 --> 00:30:27,202
Chic with class.
450
00:30:28,077 --> 00:30:29,287
That helps!
451
00:30:29,454 --> 00:30:32,290
A good host.
Nouvelle cuisine, etc.
452
00:30:32,499 --> 00:30:36,169
10,000 miles for pickled dormice
in strawberry jam!
453
00:30:38,421 --> 00:30:40,924
For the grandeur of Egypt,
454
00:30:41,299 --> 00:30:43,760
I hope we win the chariot races.
455
00:31:02,445 --> 00:31:03,279
Leave us!
456
00:31:06,574 --> 00:31:07,700
Come.
457
00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:13,248
Sit down.
458
00:31:20,713 --> 00:31:22,215
ID file...
459
00:31:22,590 --> 00:31:25,677
"Ben-Hur Marcel.
32. Merchant Union President."
460
00:31:27,679 --> 00:31:29,180
A subversive group?
461
00:31:29,347 --> 00:31:33,184
We're only merchants who organize
462
00:31:33,351 --> 00:31:37,564
special 2-week sales
with prizes and so on.
463
00:31:38,022 --> 00:31:39,107
They say
464
00:31:39,315 --> 00:31:40,984
you're a rebel
465
00:31:41,526 --> 00:31:43,778
who criticizes the Empire
466
00:31:44,195 --> 00:31:47,240
and that you're ready
to strike at Caesar.
467
00:31:48,408 --> 00:31:51,869
It happened once...
cuz they pushed me.
468
00:31:52,036 --> 00:31:53,580
Never mind.
469
00:31:53,788 --> 00:31:55,164
I like that.
470
00:31:56,874 --> 00:31:58,459
I need a man like you.
471
00:32:00,753 --> 00:32:03,756
You know of plots against Caesar?
472
00:32:03,923 --> 00:32:07,635
Being in business,
I hear folks talk.
473
00:32:08,386 --> 00:32:12,849
Some say, "Kick him out on his ass!"
474
00:32:13,016 --> 00:32:16,102
Or "Let's crucify him!"
475
00:32:16,269 --> 00:32:18,521
"Perch him on a pyramid!"
476
00:32:19,272 --> 00:32:22,567
But I've never heard of a plot.
477
00:32:22,734 --> 00:32:24,235
You'll organize one.
478
00:32:24,402 --> 00:32:25,570
A plot?
479
00:32:26,946 --> 00:32:29,032
You and your merchants
480
00:32:29,574 --> 00:32:32,118
will plan a conspiracy for me.
481
00:32:32,285 --> 00:32:33,536
A conspiracy?
482
00:32:34,412 --> 00:32:35,872
Against Caesar!
483
00:32:37,290 --> 00:32:40,168
I'm not interested.
484
00:32:40,793 --> 00:32:42,754
It's not my thing.
485
00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:46,090
Makin' fun of Caesar and sayin'...
486
00:32:46,257 --> 00:32:49,886
"That shit-face?
When he coughs, it's a fart!"
487
00:32:51,262 --> 00:32:55,391
That's one thing but...
I mean... Sorry.
488
00:32:55,558 --> 00:32:56,434
Sorry...
489
00:32:57,268 --> 00:32:58,978
No conspiracies!
490
00:32:59,145 --> 00:33:04,317
You must have specialists
who'd love to do it.
491
00:33:04,859 --> 00:33:06,819
We're amateurs!
We'd slow you down.
492
00:33:06,986 --> 00:33:09,238
You have no choice.
493
00:33:10,198 --> 00:33:14,494
You do it or it's...
Sunday with Lucien!
494
00:33:15,578 --> 00:33:18,414
In that case, I can handle it fine.
495
00:33:19,540 --> 00:33:21,584
Some conspirators meet
496
00:33:21,751 --> 00:33:24,796
nightly in the catacombs.
497
00:33:24,962 --> 00:33:29,217
If our friend Ben-Hur Marcel
were to contact them...
498
00:33:29,384 --> 00:33:31,552
Good idea! You'll go there
499
00:33:31,761 --> 00:33:33,930
and infiltrate the terrorists.
500
00:33:34,764 --> 00:33:36,516
Then report to us
501
00:33:36,724 --> 00:33:37,558
and I'll decide.
502
00:33:37,725 --> 00:33:42,522
Yes but...
what if they don't want me?
503
00:33:43,231 --> 00:33:44,482
Lucien!
504
00:33:44,899 --> 00:33:47,527
I see. Ok...
505
00:34:44,333 --> 00:34:45,543
Here we are.
506
00:34:45,710 --> 00:34:46,878
What do I owe you?
507
00:34:48,129 --> 00:34:49,380
8 sesterces.
508
00:34:53,509 --> 00:34:54,510
Thanks.
509
00:35:37,678 --> 00:35:38,763
Ok, Lucette?
510
00:35:38,930 --> 00:35:40,598
Some guys are kooks!
511
00:35:57,365 --> 00:35:58,741
Well, baby?
512
00:35:59,408 --> 00:36:00,535
How much?
513
00:36:00,701 --> 00:36:03,120
20 in the chariot, 25 out.
514
00:36:03,287 --> 00:36:04,205
Son of a bitch!
515
00:36:04,372 --> 00:36:05,373
Pardon me?
516
00:36:05,540 --> 00:36:07,583
Givin' me a hard time?
517
00:36:07,750 --> 00:36:09,669
I don't give it away!
518
00:36:10,753 --> 00:36:13,047
Yeah... ok.
519
00:36:37,905 --> 00:36:40,533
You're cute
but I can't take anymore!
520
00:36:42,535 --> 00:36:43,953
Going, dolls?
521
00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:46,205
We're washed out!
522
00:36:46,831 --> 00:36:48,165
From the baths!
523
00:36:48,332 --> 00:36:50,293
Time for bed, Crocus!
524
00:36:50,459 --> 00:36:51,961
See you, sweetie!
525
00:36:52,211 --> 00:36:54,922
A closet queen with a mask!
526
00:36:55,131 --> 00:36:56,048
Hi, you!
527
00:36:56,215 --> 00:36:57,675
Hi, Reginus!
528
00:37:00,261 --> 00:37:01,095
Good crowd?
529
00:37:01,304 --> 00:37:03,139
Wild! Come in!
530
00:37:03,306 --> 00:37:05,141
Here already, baby?
531
00:37:10,062 --> 00:37:14,150
Here we do us we please!
No one'll deck us!
532
00:37:16,569 --> 00:37:20,907
We hug and squeeze
In our homosexualis discothecus
533
00:37:23,284 --> 00:37:27,747
Let the disco play!
Come shake your plexus!
534
00:37:29,999 --> 00:37:34,503
It's all very gay
In the Homo-Disco-Texus!
535
00:38:40,987 --> 00:38:45,449
Citizen! Got 2 or 3 sesterces
for a drink?
536
00:38:45,616 --> 00:38:48,369
How do I get into the catacombs?
537
00:38:48,536 --> 00:38:50,079
The door's not far.
538
00:38:50,246 --> 00:38:54,917
Careful! Some odd guys
hang out there.
539
00:39:24,447 --> 00:39:25,990
'Night, dolls!
540
00:39:26,157 --> 00:39:27,199
'Night Ma!
541
00:39:28,325 --> 00:39:29,910
Take care.
542
00:39:33,330 --> 00:39:34,874
Hello, you!
543
00:39:36,167 --> 00:39:40,379
Hi, ladies'n'gents!
I'm lookin' for friends.
544
00:39:40,546 --> 00:39:42,256
But I don't know...
545
00:39:42,423 --> 00:39:44,383
They said I'd find...
546
00:39:44,550 --> 00:39:48,721
They're here to plan
something special.
547
00:39:48,929 --> 00:39:50,973
Yes, it's special!
548
00:39:51,140 --> 00:39:53,100
I don't know if...
549
00:39:53,309 --> 00:39:55,102
it's in the catacombs.
550
00:39:55,269 --> 00:39:56,312
Well, it's...
551
00:39:56,520 --> 00:39:59,523
downstairs.
Care to take a peek?
552
00:40:00,608 --> 00:40:01,442
Come in!
553
00:40:02,276 --> 00:40:05,321
What's wrong, kitten? Shy?
554
00:40:05,488 --> 00:40:08,783
No, but they said it was a secret.
555
00:40:08,991 --> 00:40:11,285
It's not secret!
556
00:40:11,452 --> 00:40:14,538
It's just discreet.
But everyone knows.
557
00:40:15,706 --> 00:40:17,875
Cops come here too!
558
00:40:20,503 --> 00:40:24,256
Hello, fellas! Hi, men!
559
00:40:24,423 --> 00:40:28,177
Go on in!
What a dodo!
560
00:41:04,130 --> 00:41:06,882
What'll it be, kitten.
Champagne?
561
00:41:07,049 --> 00:41:08,175
Right.
562
00:41:11,512 --> 00:41:13,806
Shit! Here, kitten!
563
00:41:39,707 --> 00:41:40,541
'Evening!
564
00:41:40,708 --> 00:41:41,876
Hi!
565
00:41:43,752 --> 00:41:45,337
Are they all conspirators?
566
00:41:46,046 --> 00:41:47,214
Pardon?
567
00:41:47,381 --> 00:41:49,633
They're all conspirators?
568
00:41:49,800 --> 00:41:50,885
What?
569
00:41:52,011 --> 00:41:53,387
They all are?
570
00:41:54,638 --> 00:41:55,681
Sure!
571
00:41:58,142 --> 00:41:59,894
And you too?
572
00:42:00,895 --> 00:42:02,188
You're one too?
573
00:42:02,646 --> 00:42:04,565
Isn't that obvious?
574
00:42:05,983 --> 00:42:08,777
Come on.
I can't hear...
575
00:42:12,573 --> 00:42:15,618
You don't look like one.
576
00:42:16,577 --> 00:42:19,538
I haven't been for long.
577
00:42:19,705 --> 00:42:21,665
I'm not really one yet.
578
00:42:22,333 --> 00:42:25,252
I want to but I don't know
where to begin.
579
00:42:25,419 --> 00:42:28,839
It's easy!
I can show you the ropes.
580
00:42:30,090 --> 00:42:34,929
That's kind. This wasn't my idea
but a guy forced me into it.
581
00:42:35,387 --> 00:42:39,350
But now you're willing
to participate?
582
00:42:39,850 --> 00:42:42,686
Sure!
But I'm not really active.
583
00:42:44,271 --> 00:42:46,857
Can't passive roles be fun too?
584
00:42:47,274 --> 00:42:50,361
Let the others do all the work.
585
00:42:51,195 --> 00:42:52,696
That'd suit me!
586
00:42:53,113 --> 00:42:56,367
But I could give a helping hand.
587
00:42:56,533 --> 00:42:59,870
It's just I don't have the knack.
588
00:43:01,288 --> 00:43:03,123
Don't worry.
589
00:43:03,290 --> 00:43:05,501
Everything will be made easy for you.
590
00:43:06,919 --> 00:43:09,588
That'd be nice!
591
00:43:10,756 --> 00:43:11,674
Shall we dance?
592
00:43:11,840 --> 00:43:12,675
Sure.
593
00:43:12,841 --> 00:43:13,968
Come on.
594
00:43:52,965 --> 00:43:54,758
What's wrong?
595
00:43:54,925 --> 00:43:56,969
They can't stand.
596
00:43:57,428 --> 00:43:59,888
This fool made them smoke!
597
00:44:00,848 --> 00:44:05,269
My arrival was scheduled for 5 PM.
598
00:44:05,644 --> 00:44:07,187
It's 2 AM!
599
00:44:07,354 --> 00:44:09,106
I know, my Queen!
600
00:44:09,273 --> 00:44:11,233
What does our guide say?
601
00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:15,237
Oh, him!...
Hasch-Minafer!
602
00:44:16,572 --> 00:44:20,701
Cleopatra's the most beautiful!
She's the best!
603
00:44:21,910 --> 00:44:25,956
What have I done to Osiris
to deserve this?
604
00:44:26,123 --> 00:44:28,959
Draw and quarter him at once!
605
00:44:29,793 --> 00:44:35,007
I can't alone but once the guards
wake, I'll do my best.
606
00:45:20,469 --> 00:45:21,512
Like it?
607
00:45:21,678 --> 00:45:24,223
Nice...
But a bit sissyish.
608
00:45:25,933 --> 00:45:27,851
He's so funny!
609
00:45:28,018 --> 00:45:30,729
- Make yourself comfortable!
- I'm fine.
610
00:45:30,896 --> 00:45:32,314
Thirsty?
611
00:45:32,481 --> 00:45:33,899
Champagne.
612
00:45:47,746 --> 00:45:48,997
It's good.
613
00:46:14,898 --> 00:46:18,110
We need to decide who does what.
614
00:46:19,027 --> 00:46:20,362
Sit down.
615
00:46:30,289 --> 00:46:31,915
Relax.
616
00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:35,794
Let's not rush things.
617
00:46:35,961 --> 00:46:37,796
We've plenty of time.
618
00:46:38,005 --> 00:46:40,591
I'd rather work fast.
619
00:46:40,757 --> 00:46:42,634
Pick the right moment and...
bang!
620
00:46:42,843 --> 00:46:44,720
You're hot stuff...
621
00:46:44,928 --> 00:46:47,181
The 1st part is hard but...
622
00:46:47,347 --> 00:46:50,434
once we begin,
we have to go all the way.
623
00:46:51,185 --> 00:46:53,312
And no improvising!
624
00:46:53,479 --> 00:46:56,273
Just a little?
625
00:46:56,482 --> 00:46:59,735
With an ordinary customer, maybe.
626
00:46:59,902 --> 00:47:03,280
But with Caesar,
it has to be done just right.
627
00:47:05,073 --> 00:47:06,158
You know?
628
00:47:08,118 --> 00:47:08,952
I see you do.
629
00:47:17,461 --> 00:47:18,295
This can go.
630
00:47:23,675 --> 00:47:26,929
True,
Caesar is an exceptional person,
631
00:47:27,095 --> 00:47:30,349
yet he's a man like all others.
632
00:47:30,516 --> 00:47:35,103
In certain realms,
he must be treated only
633
00:47:35,270 --> 00:47:38,565
as a man and nothing more.
634
00:47:39,525 --> 00:47:41,735
For Man...
635
00:47:41,902 --> 00:47:43,529
Man is weak,
636
00:47:43,695 --> 00:47:44,696
my young patrician.
637
00:47:44,863 --> 00:47:47,533
True, it's not his fault
638
00:47:47,741 --> 00:47:50,244
but a question of mentality.
639
00:47:50,452 --> 00:47:54,206
But once Man is aware
of his weakness,
640
00:47:54,373 --> 00:47:57,209
aware of his frailty
641
00:47:57,376 --> 00:48:01,213
and aware of his ugliness...
642
00:48:01,380 --> 00:48:06,552
For he is ugly!
Man is ugly!
643
00:48:06,718 --> 00:48:08,971
- You do agree?
- Yeah!
644
00:48:09,388 --> 00:48:11,723
Oh, thankless Nature
645
00:48:11,890 --> 00:48:15,227
who had Man modeled
646
00:48:15,394 --> 00:48:19,690
in the image of strength
rather than grace!
647
00:48:19,856 --> 00:48:24,236
All that is male
is force and ugliness.
648
00:48:24,403 --> 00:48:26,780
Walls. Rocks. Swords!
649
00:48:26,947 --> 00:48:29,908
Whereas all that is female
650
00:48:30,075 --> 00:48:33,245
is gentleness and tenderness.
651
00:48:33,412 --> 00:48:36,540
Flowers. Rivers. Music!
652
00:48:36,707 --> 00:48:40,252
You're too young,
my young patrician,
653
00:48:40,419 --> 00:48:45,465
to have known Woman
in all her splendor.
654
00:48:45,632 --> 00:48:47,884
Sure, but I get by.
655
00:48:52,931 --> 00:48:55,475
What poet,
656
00:48:55,684 --> 00:48:58,478
with tragic lucidity,
657
00:48:58,645 --> 00:49:03,734
will describe the mule
in all his horror?
658
00:49:03,900 --> 00:49:05,777
It's a horror.
659
00:49:06,528 --> 00:49:08,447
All of this is a horror!
660
00:49:08,614 --> 00:49:12,451
Head! Arm! Leg! Horrors!
661
00:49:12,618 --> 00:49:16,705
- A man's leg is ghastly, isn't it?
- Yeah!
662
00:49:17,748 --> 00:49:20,584
Is an arm beautiful?
663
00:49:20,751 --> 00:49:23,920
And breastless torsos!
664
00:49:24,087 --> 00:49:25,881
They're unbearable!
665
00:49:26,048 --> 00:49:29,176
Oh, heinous partition!
666
00:49:29,343 --> 00:49:32,137
Oh, infamous distribution!
667
00:49:32,304 --> 00:49:36,099
Only Woman
was given all by the Gods!
668
00:49:36,516 --> 00:49:40,896
Woman is a copy of Man,
669
00:49:41,063 --> 00:49:44,941
but we are only a caricature!
670
00:49:45,108 --> 00:49:49,988
For we men are...
671
00:49:52,407 --> 00:49:53,950
We are...
672
00:49:55,827 --> 00:49:57,913
We are ugly!
673
00:49:58,205 --> 00:50:00,374
We're so ugly!
674
00:50:01,041 --> 00:50:05,629
Now you see that though
his power be great,
675
00:50:06,505 --> 00:50:07,923
Caesar is nothing but...
676
00:50:08,090 --> 00:50:11,802
Caesar is nothing but
a poor little guy
677
00:50:12,844 --> 00:50:14,221
Poor little guy!
678
00:50:14,429 --> 00:50:18,850
Don't exaggerate!
He's still Emperor of Rome.
679
00:50:19,017 --> 00:50:21,770
He's not just anybody!
680
00:50:21,937 --> 00:50:24,356
He's guarded! It'll be hard
681
00:50:24,523 --> 00:50:26,274
to stab him in the mug
682
00:50:26,483 --> 00:50:27,943
or blow up his ass!
683
00:50:28,819 --> 00:50:31,363
But who'd want to do that?
684
00:50:32,114 --> 00:50:34,449
Stab his face
685
00:50:34,616 --> 00:50:36,118
or blow up his behind?
686
00:50:36,326 --> 00:50:38,161
Who? Us!
687
00:50:39,037 --> 00:50:41,498
Aren't we plotting to kill Caesar?
688
00:50:42,040 --> 00:50:43,208
Am I dreaming?
689
00:50:43,959 --> 00:50:47,295
It'll be hard to corner him.
690
00:50:47,462 --> 00:50:51,842
But once we get him, we can choose
691
00:50:52,008 --> 00:50:56,054
poison, stabbing,
drowning in his bath,
692
00:50:56,221 --> 00:51:00,267
smothering or whatever we decide.
693
00:51:00,475 --> 00:51:02,269
Later we forget we ever met!
694
00:51:02,436 --> 00:51:03,729
Yes!
695
00:51:03,895 --> 00:51:05,856
Centurion! Guards!
696
00:51:06,064 --> 00:51:07,357
- Help!
- Caesar!
697
00:51:07,566 --> 00:51:09,401
Arrest him!
698
00:51:09,568 --> 00:51:13,071
This hoodlum wants to kill me!
To the dungeons with him!
699
00:51:13,238 --> 00:51:14,656
It's not me...
700
00:51:14,823 --> 00:51:15,824
Mr. Caesar!
701
00:51:15,991 --> 00:51:18,827
To the arena! To the lions!
702
00:51:19,828 --> 00:51:22,789
Hold me up, angels.
I feel dizzy!
703
00:51:22,956 --> 00:51:24,791
He wants to kill me
704
00:51:25,000 --> 00:51:27,127
with a sword!
705
00:51:27,878 --> 00:51:31,757
Put me on the cushions!
706
00:51:32,758 --> 00:51:35,135
I'm going to faint!
707
00:51:35,302 --> 00:51:37,971
Give me some air, baby!
708
00:51:44,978 --> 00:51:48,064
Watch the arch!
We can't go under it.
709
00:51:48,523 --> 00:51:50,484
It's too low.
710
00:51:53,403 --> 00:51:56,656
What'll I look like now,
711
00:51:56,823 --> 00:51:59,117
arriving at Caesar's court this way?
712
00:51:59,284 --> 00:52:02,162
All the Roman Empire is watching me.
713
00:52:02,370 --> 00:52:04,206
Not at this hour.
714
00:52:08,126 --> 00:52:10,962
We can't get through there either.
715
00:52:15,300 --> 00:52:16,134
There!
716
00:52:16,343 --> 00:52:18,053
I told you so!
717
00:52:25,310 --> 00:52:30,065
Smear honey on these bearers
and throw them to the ants!
718
00:52:30,232 --> 00:52:31,066
I'll do it.
719
00:52:31,274 --> 00:52:33,819
Once we find some honey.
720
00:52:36,321 --> 00:52:37,948
Bravo!
721
00:52:38,114 --> 00:52:40,867
Where's the principal street?
722
00:52:41,034 --> 00:52:42,244
For who?
723
00:52:42,410 --> 00:52:44,412
- For everyone!
- For me,
724
00:52:44,621 --> 00:52:49,417
the principal street has
the most bars
725
00:52:49,584 --> 00:52:52,212
but that one's the chic street.
726
00:52:54,422 --> 00:52:56,591
Where are they going?
727
00:52:56,758 --> 00:52:58,468
Straight ahead!
728
00:52:58,635 --> 00:53:00,178
By Osiris! Straight!
729
00:53:00,387 --> 00:53:04,182
They don't understand a thing.
Shit!
730
00:53:05,684 --> 00:53:09,771
Not straight! Turn!
731
00:53:10,689 --> 00:53:12,524
Turn!
732
00:53:12,691 --> 00:53:14,317
Turn!
733
00:53:16,695 --> 00:53:19,614
Drawn and quartered!
734
00:53:19,823 --> 00:53:23,326
And thrown to the pigs!
735
00:53:35,714 --> 00:53:36,882
Patrician,
736
00:53:37,090 --> 00:53:39,092
could you help Cleopatra?
737
00:53:39,259 --> 00:53:40,844
Certainly!
738
00:53:41,052 --> 00:53:43,221
Just do as I say.
739
00:53:43,430 --> 00:53:47,517
Forward! Straight ahead!
740
00:53:47,684 --> 00:53:52,188
- The wall!
- Now turn! Stop!
741
00:53:54,024 --> 00:53:55,317
Imbeciles!
742
00:53:55,525 --> 00:53:56,735
Morons!
743
00:53:56,902 --> 00:53:58,403
It's fate.
744
00:53:58,570 --> 00:54:01,489
To hell with fate!
745
00:54:04,492 --> 00:54:06,953
This is too much!
746
00:54:08,538 --> 00:54:10,707
I spent 3 hours doing
747
00:54:10,916 --> 00:54:14,669
my toes, hair and nails.
All for Egypt!
748
00:54:14,836 --> 00:54:18,173
I rehearsed my arrival a month!
749
00:54:18,340 --> 00:54:21,176
Now I look like shit!
750
00:54:24,721 --> 00:54:27,223
Don't worry, divine Cleopatra.
751
00:54:27,390 --> 00:54:29,851
Nobody saw you.
752
00:54:32,437 --> 00:54:33,772
Right?
753
00:54:34,314 --> 00:54:37,984
We're lucky in our misfortune,
my Queen.
754
00:54:38,151 --> 00:54:40,278
Great Roman patrician,
755
00:54:40,487 --> 00:54:42,614
where is Caesar's palace?
756
00:54:43,573 --> 00:54:46,201
I can't go there in this condition!
757
00:54:46,368 --> 00:54:49,621
How can I?
My chariot's a wreck!
758
00:54:49,788 --> 00:54:52,374
Don't worry, divine Cleopatra.
759
00:54:52,582 --> 00:54:56,378
I got a pal
who specializes in chariots.
760
00:54:56,544 --> 00:54:58,672
If you'll get in my taxi...
761
00:55:05,303 --> 00:55:06,721
My monkey and 2 falcons!
762
00:55:06,888 --> 00:55:08,723
Yeah. I know...
763
00:55:11,851 --> 00:55:15,897
Don't worry.
I'll see to everything.
764
00:55:28,243 --> 00:55:30,078
Not too rough a ride?
765
00:55:38,670 --> 00:55:40,171
Looks like he's out.
766
00:55:50,432 --> 00:55:51,599
I'm a mess!
767
00:55:51,766 --> 00:55:53,601
You're ok.
768
00:55:54,185 --> 00:55:55,145
The bathroom?
769
00:55:55,311 --> 00:55:56,604
That way...
770
00:56:05,447 --> 00:56:06,865
What is it?
771
00:56:07,032 --> 00:56:08,533
- That!
- What?
772
00:56:08,700 --> 00:56:12,746
My grandpa! Pharaoh Sesostris
Amenofis Nyopartiefet...
773
00:56:13,496 --> 00:56:15,915
called Sesostris for short.
774
00:56:16,082 --> 00:56:17,417
Listen to this.
775
00:56:17,584 --> 00:56:21,880
"I place this portrait in the babe's
cradle on the Nile.
776
00:56:22,047 --> 00:56:26,926
"Blessed be the finder.
The boy will be Pharaoh of Egypt!"
777
00:56:27,135 --> 00:56:30,805
The baby placed in the cradle
on the Nile
778
00:56:30,972 --> 00:56:33,516
was my brother Aminemefet!
779
00:56:33,683 --> 00:56:35,935
Grandpa raised me.
780
00:56:36,102 --> 00:56:40,315
7 years earlier,
he'd put my brother in a foster home.
781
00:56:47,989 --> 00:56:50,700
Take this baby
782
00:56:50,867 --> 00:56:53,953
to Palestine.
He's the future Pharaoh.
783
00:56:55,955 --> 00:57:00,877
I want him wet-nursed
by my old Hebrew friends,
784
00:57:01,044 --> 00:57:04,923
Rachel and Simon Goldenberg.
785
00:57:17,560 --> 00:57:18,478
Great Pharaoh,
786
00:57:19,062 --> 00:57:24,150
why does your grandson have to be
suckled by a Hebrew nurse?
787
00:57:24,317 --> 00:57:26,319
Politics.
788
00:57:27,112 --> 00:57:30,865
Though he is not of Jewish blood,
he will be of Jewish milk!
789
00:57:32,283 --> 00:57:35,161
Just after Aminemefet got there,
790
00:57:35,328 --> 00:57:39,249
Herod massacred all boys
under 6 months of age.
791
00:57:39,415 --> 00:57:43,920
He feared the King of the Jews
would take his throne.
792
00:57:51,010 --> 00:57:55,265
Rachel set my brother
afloat on the Nile.
793
00:57:55,431 --> 00:57:56,850
Don't be so pushy!
794
00:57:57,016 --> 00:57:59,936
Get in line like everyone else!
795
00:58:00,103 --> 00:58:03,189
They persecute us too, ya know!
796
00:58:06,442 --> 00:58:09,070
We never heard of him after that.
797
00:58:09,487 --> 00:58:12,657
I must learn why this portrait
is here.
798
00:58:12,824 --> 00:58:17,579
Your mechanic must know
what's become of my brother.
799
00:58:19,289 --> 00:58:21,166
Who are the others?
800
00:58:21,332 --> 00:58:23,877
Nobody!
There's no conspiracy!
801
00:58:24,043 --> 00:58:26,212
Caesar invited me in.
802
00:58:26,379 --> 00:58:28,173
For a drink?
803
00:58:28,339 --> 00:58:31,676
Yes! How could I know
it was Caesar?
804
00:58:31,843 --> 00:58:35,763
His noble face
is on all our banknotes!
805
00:58:35,930 --> 00:58:38,558
He wore a wig and mustache!
806
00:58:38,725 --> 00:58:41,477
I didn't recognize his kisser.
807
00:58:41,644 --> 00:58:46,316
Let me yank out
his nails and 4 or 5 teeth.
808
00:58:46,482 --> 00:58:48,318
I'll break an arm or two!
809
00:58:48,484 --> 00:58:51,738
No, I work with my hands!
I'm not an egghead like you.
810
00:58:51,905 --> 00:58:54,490
Lucien loves tender broken arms.
811
00:58:54,657 --> 00:58:57,327
Lock him up!
We'll go and search
812
00:58:57,493 --> 00:59:00,163
his garage for accomplices!
813
00:59:31,527 --> 00:59:33,571
Come out. You're surrounded!
814
00:59:34,572 --> 00:59:37,617
Give up!
We're here in force!
815
00:59:38,660 --> 00:59:41,579
Ben-Hur's in jail!
You're under arrest!
816
00:59:41,746 --> 00:59:44,457
May we know why?
817
00:59:45,166 --> 00:59:49,254
For conspiracy against Caesar
and Cleopatra!
818
00:59:50,463 --> 00:59:53,466
I am Cleopatra.
Queen of Egypt.
819
00:59:55,635 --> 00:59:58,888
And why not Caesar's wife
while you're at it?
820
00:59:59,097 --> 01:00:02,016
I am Cleopatra, Queen of Egypt!
821
01:00:02,183 --> 01:00:04,102
I demand the honors
822
01:00:04,310 --> 01:00:05,770
worthy of my rank.
823
01:00:05,937 --> 01:00:09,899
Cleopatra in a garage
at 6 AM? Sure!
824
01:00:10,733 --> 01:00:13,528
And where're your chariot
and your tiara?
825
01:00:13,695 --> 01:00:17,865
Her tiara is in her chariot
with a monkey and 2 falcons.
826
01:00:18,032 --> 01:00:20,118
A monkey and 2 falcons!
827
01:00:20,285 --> 01:00:23,621
Yes. A monkey and 2 falcons.
828
01:00:25,331 --> 01:00:29,585
Run this drunk in,
along with the dame!
829
01:00:30,420 --> 01:00:32,297
I spent a whole day
830
01:00:32,463 --> 01:00:35,466
on skin cure,
a bubblebath and massage.
831
01:00:35,633 --> 01:00:40,638
I went to town, I even spring-cleaned
for that Indian!
832
01:00:40,805 --> 01:00:41,639
Egyptian!
833
01:00:43,057 --> 01:00:44,309
She's Egyptian.
834
01:00:44,475 --> 01:00:48,146
Egyptian! Indian!
What's the difference?
835
01:00:49,272 --> 01:00:52,525
All I know is she's late.
836
01:00:53,067 --> 01:00:57,322
That idiot's going to
screw up my party!
837
01:00:57,905 --> 01:01:01,409
Can't you find out where she is?
838
01:01:02,118 --> 01:01:04,746
You and your Rosetta-stone cops!
839
01:01:06,497 --> 01:01:07,999
My nerves!
840
01:01:08,791 --> 01:01:10,043
They're shot!
841
01:01:10,209 --> 01:01:13,838
And I was attacked
in my room at 2 AM
842
01:01:14,005 --> 01:01:16,424
by a bloodthirsty terrorist!
843
01:01:16,591 --> 01:01:19,260
Your door has 24-hour guards!
844
01:01:19,427 --> 01:01:20,887
Yes but...
845
01:01:21,054 --> 01:01:24,057
What?
What are you insinuating?
846
01:01:24,849 --> 01:01:26,601
Have you finished?
847
01:01:26,768 --> 01:01:30,646
Keep your remarks to yourself.
That's not the problem.
848
01:01:32,982 --> 01:01:34,275
Where's Cleopatra?
849
01:01:36,652 --> 01:01:39,489
Hail, Demetrios!
Hail, Caesar!
850
01:01:41,491 --> 01:01:42,700
And Cleopatra?
851
01:01:42,867 --> 01:01:44,952
Still no news, Consul.
852
01:01:46,913 --> 01:01:48,748
Such incompetence!
853
01:01:48,915 --> 01:01:52,502
The Queen of Egypt
is roaming a land
854
01:01:52,668 --> 01:01:54,962
we claim to control
855
01:01:55,129 --> 01:02:00,134
in a chariot with camels,
a monkey and 2 falcons
856
01:02:00,301 --> 01:02:02,428
and nobody's noticed her?
857
01:02:03,096 --> 01:02:05,431
A monkey and 2 falcons?
858
01:02:06,265 --> 01:02:07,100
Yes!
859
01:02:07,308 --> 01:02:10,686
A monkey and 2 falcons!
860
01:02:10,853 --> 01:02:14,982
Even a gross Gaul knows
Cleopatra always has
861
01:02:15,149 --> 01:02:17,735
a monkey and 2 falcons with her.
862
01:02:17,944 --> 01:02:19,654
A monkey and 2 falcons?
863
01:02:19,821 --> 01:02:21,072
Yes!
864
01:02:21,280 --> 01:02:23,366
A monkey and 2 falcons!
865
01:02:24,409 --> 01:02:27,412
Is he retarded or what?
866
01:02:27,578 --> 01:02:29,497
At a garage
867
01:02:29,705 --> 01:02:33,042
we just picked up a dame
who says she's Cleopatra
868
01:02:33,209 --> 01:02:36,462
and her pal spoke
about a monkey and 2 falcons.
869
01:02:37,505 --> 01:02:41,008
A garage?
She said she's Cleopatra?
870
01:02:41,175 --> 01:02:42,677
Yes, noble Consul.
871
01:02:42,844 --> 01:02:43,719
You arrested her?
872
01:02:43,886 --> 01:02:45,096
Of course.
873
01:02:45,263 --> 01:02:46,347
Is it her?
874
01:02:46,514 --> 01:02:47,640
I don't know.
875
01:02:47,807 --> 01:02:49,892
He doesn't know!
876
01:02:50,059 --> 01:02:52,770
Everyone knows
we've lost Cleopatra.
877
01:02:52,937 --> 01:02:55,648
He finds one but he can't tell
878
01:02:55,815 --> 01:02:58,693
a Queen of Egypt
with a monkey and 2 falcons
879
01:02:58,901 --> 01:03:00,820
from a local whore!
880
01:03:00,987 --> 01:03:02,989
A woman in an evening gown
881
01:03:03,197 --> 01:03:04,740
at 6 AM...
882
01:03:04,907 --> 01:03:09,036
At 6 AM? Such taste!
883
01:03:09,203 --> 01:03:10,121
Where is she?
884
01:03:10,288 --> 01:03:11,873
The arena prison.
885
01:03:12,039 --> 01:03:14,625
By Jupiter! My chariot!
886
01:03:18,087 --> 01:03:19,964
Where'd you get this?
887
01:03:20,131 --> 01:03:23,301
It was in my cradle.
888
01:03:23,468 --> 01:03:25,011
By Osiris!
889
01:03:25,678 --> 01:03:28,973
I was found abandoned
on the Nile.
890
01:03:29,140 --> 01:03:30,850
It was in the cradle.
891
01:03:31,017 --> 01:03:34,562
Ben-Hur Gaston,
my adopted dad,
892
01:03:34,729 --> 01:03:36,397
taught me to be a mechanic.
893
01:03:36,564 --> 01:03:38,941
He put that on the wall.
894
01:03:39,108 --> 01:03:42,153
But you never read it?
895
01:03:42,320 --> 01:03:45,823
Hieroglyphics
are Greek to me.
896
01:03:45,990 --> 01:03:49,660
If this papyrus
was in your cradle,
897
01:03:49,827 --> 01:03:52,330
you're my brother!
898
01:03:52,497 --> 01:03:53,623
She's kiddin'?
899
01:03:53,789 --> 01:03:56,250
No. The papyrus says it's true.
900
01:03:56,417 --> 01:03:58,711
You read papyrus?
901
01:03:58,878 --> 01:04:01,923
It says
you're her brother named...
902
01:04:02,089 --> 01:04:03,466
Aminemefet!
903
01:04:03,633 --> 01:04:05,426
- Your brother?
- Yes
904
01:04:05,843 --> 01:04:09,722
and heir
to the throne of Egypt!
905
01:04:11,599 --> 01:04:13,142
Your resemble Grandpa!
906
01:04:13,309 --> 01:04:16,354
Stop shittin' me!
You're my sis?
907
01:04:16,521 --> 01:04:17,355
Yes!
908
01:04:17,522 --> 01:04:19,190
Shit!
909
01:04:19,357 --> 01:04:23,319
A brother and sister!
What a feast, Lucien!
910
01:04:38,626 --> 01:04:39,794
Coming!
911
01:04:40,461 --> 01:04:41,712
Who's there?
912
01:04:43,172 --> 01:04:44,465
The Consul!
913
01:04:50,179 --> 01:04:51,180
Is that her?
914
01:04:51,347 --> 01:04:52,723
Absolutely.
915
01:04:54,183 --> 01:04:56,561
Divine Cleopatra!
916
01:04:56,727 --> 01:05:00,273
Forgive me. I throw
myself at your feet.
917
01:05:00,439 --> 01:05:02,567
An incredible error.
918
01:05:02,733 --> 01:05:04,902
A police screw-up.
919
01:05:05,069 --> 01:05:07,446
They're fools led by a fool!
920
01:05:07,613 --> 01:05:08,781
I agree.
921
01:05:08,948 --> 01:05:12,702
Divine Cleopatra,
how may I be forgiven?
922
01:05:12,868 --> 01:05:16,080
Begin by letting us out of here.
923
01:05:16,247 --> 01:05:18,165
Certainly!
924
01:05:19,041 --> 01:05:20,376
Move it!
925
01:05:20,543 --> 01:05:22,003
He means you!
926
01:05:31,929 --> 01:05:33,723
My chariot!
927
01:05:33,889 --> 01:05:36,684
Make way for Cleopatra!
928
01:05:36,851 --> 01:05:39,228
Not you.
What are you doing here?
929
01:05:40,271 --> 01:05:43,024
Let me present my brother...
930
01:05:43,190 --> 01:05:46,152
Pharaoh Aminemefet!
931
01:05:46,319 --> 01:05:49,238
If you don't mind, Mr. Commoner!
932
01:05:51,324 --> 01:05:52,241
And him?
933
01:05:52,408 --> 01:05:53,826
My chief general!
934
01:05:55,703 --> 01:05:56,912
Divine Cleopatra...
935
01:06:05,463 --> 01:06:09,300
Back to canned cat food,
Lucien!
936
01:06:26,901 --> 01:06:28,319
Are you nuts?
937
01:06:29,737 --> 01:06:31,906
7! Red!
938
01:06:34,158 --> 01:06:37,745
The Romans really know
how to have fun!
939
01:06:38,913 --> 01:06:40,873
Politics keep us too busy.
940
01:06:41,040 --> 01:06:42,333
And money!
941
01:06:42,500 --> 01:06:45,086
And the Oat-Producers' Congress!
942
01:06:45,252 --> 01:06:48,714
We've no time to play!
943
01:06:48,881 --> 01:06:50,549
Very true!
944
01:06:50,716 --> 01:06:54,178
Who'd defend our interests
except us?
945
01:06:54,345 --> 01:06:58,516
We need an agent who's young,
946
01:06:58,683 --> 01:07:00,935
dynamic and trustworthy
947
01:07:01,102 --> 01:07:03,437
to be our Western sales rep!
948
01:07:03,854 --> 01:07:06,982
We need a guy to stand up for us.
949
01:07:07,149 --> 01:07:08,359
An energetic guy.
950
01:07:08,526 --> 01:07:12,279
The merchants have
Ben-Hur Marcel.
951
01:07:12,446 --> 01:07:14,782
So let's ask Ben-Hur Marcel!
952
01:07:14,949 --> 01:07:16,325
He's a civilian.
953
01:07:16,492 --> 01:07:18,869
No, he's a pharaoh!
954
01:07:25,459 --> 01:07:28,129
That's the last straw!
955
01:07:28,295 --> 01:07:31,674
I repainted
the royal apartments,
956
01:07:31,841 --> 01:07:35,678
washed the mosaics,
got new rugs and flowers
957
01:07:35,845 --> 01:07:38,180
and she stays in a garage!
958
01:07:38,347 --> 01:07:40,641
She's at her brother's.
959
01:07:40,850 --> 01:07:42,977
What a political change.
960
01:07:43,144 --> 01:07:46,772
If Ben-Hur Marcel is Pharaoh,
you'll deal with him.
961
01:07:47,565 --> 01:07:50,609
Cleopatra's visit is meaningless.
962
01:07:50,776 --> 01:07:52,945
You won't need to wed her.
963
01:07:55,781 --> 01:07:59,618
What a relief!
It's easier to get along with...
964
01:07:59,785 --> 01:08:02,621
a pharaoh than a pharess, eh?
965
01:08:02,788 --> 01:08:04,123
What's he like?
966
01:08:04,290 --> 01:08:06,083
Sort of pudgy.
967
01:08:06,250 --> 01:08:07,710
Really?
968
01:08:07,877 --> 01:08:11,464
Listen, sweety,
the country's future
969
01:08:11,630 --> 01:08:16,135
and politics come before
personal interests.
970
01:08:16,302 --> 01:08:19,388
So I'll see this pudgy boy.
971
01:08:19,555 --> 01:08:21,432
I'll go see him.
972
01:08:21,599 --> 01:08:25,561
I mean, I'll go see
the young Pharaoh.
973
01:08:37,990 --> 01:08:38,991
That?
974
01:08:39,158 --> 01:08:40,701
Yes, Caesar.
975
01:08:40,868 --> 01:08:44,663
I'll get grease all over me!
976
01:08:47,625 --> 01:08:49,210
Let Caesar pass!
977
01:08:58,552 --> 01:09:00,679
Tell me, young patrician...
978
01:09:06,352 --> 01:09:07,186
What?
979
01:09:07,353 --> 01:09:09,730
It's him! The killer!
980
01:09:09,939 --> 01:09:13,567
Guards, seize him! Careful!
981
01:09:13,776 --> 01:09:15,402
He's armed!
982
01:09:15,820 --> 01:09:17,363
Not again!
983
01:09:17,571 --> 01:09:18,572
What is this?
984
01:09:18,739 --> 01:09:21,158
He tried to kill me!
985
01:09:21,367 --> 01:09:24,286
He told me to!
986
01:09:24,453 --> 01:09:26,789
You told him what?
987
01:09:26,956 --> 01:09:28,707
Me? Nothing!
988
01:09:28,874 --> 01:09:30,000
You'd better hold your tongue!
989
01:09:30,209 --> 01:09:33,504
You can't talk to Pharaoh that way!
990
01:09:33,671 --> 01:09:34,755
Seize this man!
991
01:09:38,050 --> 01:09:40,803
What is all this?
992
01:09:40,970 --> 01:09:43,556
Guards, seize that one too!
993
01:09:46,100 --> 01:09:48,143
You can't. He's my pal!
994
01:09:48,310 --> 01:09:49,603
Seize him!
995
01:09:50,938 --> 01:09:54,525
This is incredible!
996
01:09:54,692 --> 01:09:57,319
Guards, seize these guards!
997
01:09:58,737 --> 01:10:01,615
What?
Guards, grab these guards!
998
01:10:11,584 --> 01:10:12,918
What's going on?
999
01:10:13,085 --> 01:10:15,129
It's weird, my Queen.
What's going on?
1000
01:10:24,430 --> 01:10:26,599
Mighty Caesar, I presume?
1001
01:10:27,641 --> 01:10:28,767
Obviously.
1002
01:10:28,934 --> 01:10:30,311
Where did she spring from?
1003
01:10:30,519 --> 01:10:34,815
I am accustomed
to warmer welcomes.
1004
01:10:35,024 --> 01:10:36,984
She's divine Cleopatra!
1005
01:10:38,527 --> 01:10:41,780
Glad to greet you,
divine Cleopatra.
1006
01:10:41,989 --> 01:10:43,324
About time!
1007
01:10:44,366 --> 01:10:47,036
The pleasure's all mine, Caesar.
1008
01:10:47,202 --> 01:10:49,038
This is my brother,
1009
01:10:49,246 --> 01:10:51,165
Pharaoh Aminemefet.
1010
01:10:51,582 --> 01:10:53,626
Impossible! He's the one!
1011
01:10:53,834 --> 01:10:56,837
He told me to do it.
Believe me now?
1012
01:10:57,254 --> 01:11:00,799
He could tell
everyone how he met you!
1013
01:11:00,966 --> 01:11:02,217
So?
1014
01:11:03,469 --> 01:11:04,470
Yes. That's true.
1015
01:11:04,678 --> 01:11:06,805
Would you like a drink?
1016
01:11:06,972 --> 01:11:08,974
No. Thank you, divine one.
1017
01:11:09,183 --> 01:11:12,686
I just came to officially
invite you
1018
01:11:12,853 --> 01:11:15,439
to the Circus Games
on Sunday.
1019
01:11:15,648 --> 01:11:18,025
With pleasure, mighty Caesar.
1020
01:11:18,442 --> 01:11:21,320
The contestants are
prime quality.
1021
01:11:22,279 --> 01:11:23,989
I hear your gladiators
1022
01:11:24,198 --> 01:11:25,449
are very good.
1023
01:11:25,616 --> 01:11:29,662
I hear your chariot driver
is very skilled!
1024
01:11:34,333 --> 01:11:36,710
Don't let me interrupt you.
1025
01:11:37,795 --> 01:11:41,340
There maybe a change
to the program.
1026
01:11:41,507 --> 01:11:45,010
Asskisserus knows
Egyptian customs and,
1027
01:11:45,177 --> 01:11:47,388
in international games,
1028
01:11:47,554 --> 01:11:50,516
the Pharaoh, when present,
1029
01:11:50,724 --> 01:11:52,101
heads the Egyptian team.
1030
01:11:52,267 --> 01:11:53,310
Exactly.
1031
01:11:53,477 --> 01:11:58,691
So Ben-Hur Marcel... Aminemafet
will represent your country.
1032
01:11:58,857 --> 01:12:00,150
Normally, yes.
1033
01:12:02,069 --> 01:12:03,487
Very good!
1034
01:12:03,696 --> 01:12:07,116
I'm honored
but that doesn't suit me.
1035
01:12:07,282 --> 01:12:09,118
Sunday I'm busy
1036
01:12:09,284 --> 01:12:11,870
and I can't take
a union man's job.
1037
01:12:12,037 --> 01:12:13,455
You've no choice.
1038
01:12:13,664 --> 01:12:15,374
It's the custom.
1039
01:12:15,958 --> 01:12:18,836
The custom? That's a bummer!
1040
01:12:21,714 --> 01:12:25,426
On patrol and sentry-duty,
1041
01:12:25,634 --> 01:12:28,721
a Roman guard sweats
under his armor.
1042
01:12:28,929 --> 01:12:32,558
Armpitus!
The trooper's deodorant
1043
01:12:32,725 --> 01:12:35,144
for soldiers of taste.
1044
01:12:35,310 --> 01:12:38,439
Live today
from the Rahat-Locum Circus.
1045
01:12:38,605 --> 01:12:42,401
We're here for the Circus Games
being given by Caesar,
1046
01:12:42,609 --> 01:12:45,988
Master of the Western World,
1047
01:12:46,155 --> 01:12:48,574
for Cleopatra, Queen of Egypt,
1048
01:12:48,741 --> 01:12:51,410
5'8", 104 pounds,
1049
01:12:52,077 --> 01:12:55,247
out of Amenofistofelet
of the 18th Dynasty
1050
01:12:55,414 --> 01:12:57,166
by Adtorsis.
1051
01:12:59,168 --> 01:13:01,920
21 on the Gallic chariot!
1052
01:13:13,599 --> 01:13:16,643
She rules Egypt!
Each pyramid and crypt
1053
01:13:16,810 --> 01:13:19,855
Sings praise to her ancestors
1054
01:13:20,022 --> 01:13:23,525
Cleopatra!
1055
01:13:24,276 --> 01:13:27,529
Beneath the sky of Egyptus
Grows the eucalyptus
1056
01:13:27,738 --> 01:13:30,741
Amid blossoms and rocks
Glide swans and peacocks
1057
01:13:30,949 --> 01:13:34,661
Cleopatra!
1058
01:13:34,828 --> 01:13:37,998
Emperors! Caliphs!
In hieroglyphs
1059
01:13:38,165 --> 01:13:41,126
Let her name be writ
Should Champollion find it
1060
01:13:46,465 --> 01:13:49,593
One day in Egypt
And thereafter transmit
1061
01:13:49,760 --> 01:13:52,971
This inscription:
She's glad to be Egyptian
1062
01:14:19,373 --> 01:14:20,332
What's this?
1063
01:14:20,499 --> 01:14:21,750
What's what?
1064
01:14:22,584 --> 01:14:24,253
This mad circus?
1065
01:14:24,419 --> 01:14:27,464
But it's your circus!
1066
01:14:27,631 --> 01:14:30,217
What're these sideshows doing,
1067
01:14:30,425 --> 01:14:32,803
these things in my circus?
1068
01:14:33,011 --> 01:14:35,097
It's advertising!
1069
01:14:35,681 --> 01:14:36,598
What?
1070
01:14:37,349 --> 01:14:40,519
I ordered a grandiose celebration!
1071
01:14:42,771 --> 01:14:46,692
Caesar, the coffers are empty.
1072
01:14:46,859 --> 01:14:48,777
We had to find a solution.
1073
01:14:50,946 --> 01:14:55,492
Pardon me for involving you
in such a farce.
1074
01:14:55,659 --> 01:14:58,579
Tomorrow I'll have it all moved.
1075
01:14:59,288 --> 01:15:02,708
Never mind.
We're all in the some boat.
1076
01:15:18,265 --> 01:15:20,809
Stay alert!
Watch for my signal.
1077
01:15:21,643 --> 01:15:23,979
Are you in love, ladies?
1078
01:15:24,479 --> 01:15:27,608
Make your gladiator glad!
Wear Frivolitus!
1079
01:15:30,235 --> 01:15:32,571
Ready to go, boys?
1080
01:15:32,738 --> 01:15:36,575
We'll eat those Romans alive.
1081
01:15:36,742 --> 01:15:40,245
We'll make mincemeat
of the Egyptians.
1082
01:15:40,412 --> 01:15:42,873
How's Ben-Hur Marcel?
1083
01:15:43,040 --> 01:15:45,125
Fine! But a bit tired
1084
01:15:45,292 --> 01:15:48,503
from tuning up his chariot.
1085
01:15:50,172 --> 01:15:53,759
- Have you seen it?
- No, not yet.
1086
01:15:53,926 --> 01:15:55,219
You should.
1087
01:15:55,385 --> 01:15:58,055
It concerns you most of all.
1088
01:15:58,222 --> 01:16:00,974
- Worth a detour?
- And how!
1089
01:16:01,183 --> 01:16:04,728
Divine Cleopatra,
mighty Caesar, hail!
1090
01:16:05,187 --> 01:16:08,857
Ladies and gentlemen of Rome,
foreign friends,
1091
01:16:09,441 --> 01:16:11,610
today's games
offered by mighty Caesar
1092
01:16:12,361 --> 01:16:14,196
to divine Cleopatra
1093
01:16:14,363 --> 01:16:17,574
will allow us to designate
but one victor!
1094
01:16:17,741 --> 01:16:20,869
First event, the chariot race!
1095
01:16:24,289 --> 01:16:27,668
The chariots are ready to start!
1096
01:16:30,295 --> 01:16:32,756
They're coming onto the track.
1097
01:16:33,090 --> 01:16:35,801
I'll give you
their names and numbers
1098
01:16:35,968 --> 01:16:38,553
before the draw.
1099
01:16:38,720 --> 01:16:42,349
The Greek entry driven
by Efistalopoulos
1100
01:16:42,516 --> 01:16:44,726
for King Simonides' stables
1101
01:16:44,935 --> 01:16:49,189
has been scratched
and will be replaced by chariot 2.
1102
01:16:50,190 --> 01:16:54,194
Now they're off
and it's an admirable sight!
1103
01:16:54,403 --> 01:16:56,822
A remarkable ballet
1104
01:16:57,030 --> 01:17:00,951
of machines, men and horses
in perfect harmony!
1105
01:17:01,118 --> 01:17:04,746
The haughty herd of
hammering hooves
1106
01:17:05,163 --> 01:17:07,708
makes the dust dance like stars
1107
01:17:07,874 --> 01:17:10,335
in the sparkling air
1108
01:17:10,544 --> 01:17:12,212
of the multi-hued arena.
1109
01:17:12,796 --> 01:17:15,882
What's going on?
The chariots are lining up
1110
01:17:16,466 --> 01:17:19,011
before mighty Caesar,
1111
01:17:19,636 --> 01:17:23,515
5'9", 180 lbs, son of Nero,
grandson of Caligula,
1112
01:17:23,682 --> 01:17:26,893
a fine line that has given
the empire so many leaders.
1113
01:17:27,102 --> 01:17:29,896
Ladies and gentlemen,
1114
01:17:30,063 --> 01:17:34,067
in all my 40 years
with Imperial Roman TV,
1115
01:17:34,234 --> 01:17:37,529
I have never seen such a thing!
1116
01:17:39,823 --> 01:17:41,867
What's wrong with them?
1117
01:17:42,034 --> 01:17:43,118
Mighty Caesar,
1118
01:17:43,327 --> 01:17:44,911
consider the race over.
1119
01:17:45,078 --> 01:17:47,122
We abandon the competition.
1120
01:17:47,289 --> 01:17:49,207
We cannot race
against Ben-Hur Marcel.
1121
01:17:49,416 --> 01:17:53,045
He is our master.
We ask you to declare him
1122
01:17:53,253 --> 01:17:54,880
the winner.
1123
01:17:55,047 --> 01:17:56,757
This is absurd!
1124
01:17:56,923 --> 01:18:01,219
Firstly, where is
this Ben-Hur Marcel?
1125
01:18:13,065 --> 01:18:14,566
My brother's good!
1126
01:18:14,733 --> 01:18:15,776
Not bad!
1127
01:18:15,984 --> 01:18:17,986
The chariot is illegal.
1128
01:18:19,029 --> 01:18:21,490
It meets Egyptian specifications.
1129
01:18:22,949 --> 01:18:24,409
Now!
1130
01:18:25,911 --> 01:18:30,665
The Arab world
respects Egypt's rules.
1131
01:18:30,832 --> 01:18:33,377
So we beg you, mighty Caesar,
1132
01:18:33,543 --> 01:18:36,588
to declare Aminemefet the winner!
1133
01:18:37,672 --> 01:18:38,673
They can't!
1134
01:18:38,840 --> 01:18:42,719
They can. They control all
the energy, you idiot!
1135
01:18:42,886 --> 01:18:44,096
What?
1136
01:18:44,262 --> 01:18:47,891
The consul means
we should be diplomatic
1137
01:18:48,058 --> 01:18:49,935
with our powerful guests.
1138
01:18:50,102 --> 01:18:54,314
But they're going
too far... Really!
1139
01:18:54,481 --> 01:18:55,816
What do I do?
1140
01:18:55,982 --> 01:18:57,526
Declare him the winner.
1141
01:18:58,568 --> 01:19:01,238
I declare Ben-Hur Marcel...
1142
01:19:01,446 --> 01:19:03,073
Aminemefet...
1143
01:19:04,908 --> 01:19:08,245
Aminemefet the winner!
1144
01:19:36,857 --> 01:19:40,527
Divine Cleopatra,
mighty Caesar, Romans,
1145
01:19:40,735 --> 01:19:41,736
foreign friends,
1146
01:19:41,903 --> 01:19:44,281
Aminemefet of Egypt
1147
01:19:44,448 --> 01:19:47,951
has won the chariot race.
1148
01:19:48,118 --> 01:19:49,619
But now he must confront
1149
01:19:50,036 --> 01:19:53,790
gladiators, animals and other stuff.
1150
01:19:53,999 --> 01:19:56,501
Gladiators, to your places!
1151
01:20:00,130 --> 01:20:05,051
The gladiators
the young Pharaoh will face are,
1152
01:20:05,218 --> 01:20:09,389
if I may say so,
the crème de la crème
1153
01:20:09,556 --> 01:20:12,309
of the Empire's fighters.
We are about to see
1154
01:20:12,517 --> 01:20:16,480
the Myrmidon Placius,
trained by Valerian,
1155
01:20:16,646 --> 01:20:20,108
the Thracian Mauritius who beat
1156
01:20:20,317 --> 01:20:23,487
Homo Placus Miserias Ventris
1157
01:20:23,653 --> 01:20:27,282
in 1 minute 27 seconds 6 tenths,
1158
01:20:27,491 --> 01:20:30,035
and the fantastic, colossal
1159
01:20:30,368 --> 01:20:34,247
and indeed scary Secutor
Flavian Magister,
1160
01:20:34,706 --> 01:20:38,793
of whom they say
"Even when absent, he terrifies!"
1161
01:20:41,171 --> 01:20:45,550
Those about to die
in agonizing convulsions,
1162
01:20:45,759 --> 01:20:48,261
writhing in pain
in a pool of blood...
1163
01:20:49,262 --> 01:20:50,347
Skip the details.
1164
01:20:51,431 --> 01:20:53,934
Those about to die salute thee!
1165
01:20:54,768 --> 01:20:57,354
Fate will now designate
Aminemefet's opponent.
1166
01:20:58,063 --> 01:21:00,899
Divine Cleopatra! Mighty Caesar!
1167
01:21:01,233 --> 01:21:03,652
Aminemefet's fate lies
1168
01:21:03,860 --> 01:21:05,570
in your hands!
1169
01:21:06,947 --> 01:21:08,865
Divine Cleopatra...
1170
01:21:09,991 --> 01:21:11,660
The honor is yours!
1171
01:21:17,457 --> 01:21:19,501
5 and 2, 7.
1172
01:21:26,049 --> 01:21:27,842
6 and 3, 9.
1173
01:21:29,928 --> 01:21:33,473
Caesar, what opponent do you choose?
1174
01:21:35,684 --> 01:21:38,186
I'll give him a tough one.
1175
01:21:40,355 --> 01:21:41,314
Secutor!
1176
01:21:42,899 --> 01:21:45,902
Caesar has chosen Secutor.
1177
01:22:20,604 --> 01:22:22,022
He looks in shape.
1178
01:22:22,188 --> 01:22:24,065
The short guy?
I'll waste him.
1179
01:22:24,482 --> 01:22:26,735
Yeah, you'll waste him
1180
01:22:27,110 --> 01:22:30,363
but next Sunday some guy'll
waste you!
1181
01:22:30,780 --> 01:22:35,035
Weird job you do,
getting beaten up all the time.
1182
01:22:35,201 --> 01:22:37,037
Caesar doesn't give a damn.
1183
01:22:38,163 --> 01:22:39,539
What's going on?
1184
01:22:40,040 --> 01:22:42,083
Ya got no coverage!
1185
01:22:42,250 --> 01:22:45,128
No social security!
1186
01:22:45,337 --> 01:22:46,755
No Medicare!
1187
01:22:46,921 --> 01:22:50,258
And because you die out there,
not even a pension plan.
1188
01:22:51,301 --> 01:22:53,428
I'd change jobs.
1189
01:22:54,721 --> 01:22:57,098
What you say is true.
1190
01:22:59,059 --> 01:23:01,269
Ya ought to fight back.
1191
01:23:01,770 --> 01:23:03,146
Ya need a guy
1192
01:23:04,022 --> 01:23:05,899
to defend your interests!
1193
01:23:06,191 --> 01:23:07,984
He's hard to find.
1194
01:23:08,151 --> 01:23:09,486
Come here.
1195
01:23:19,204 --> 01:23:20,497
Hey, fellas!
1196
01:23:20,705 --> 01:23:22,791
That's enough!
1197
01:23:23,875 --> 01:23:25,251
What're you up to?
1198
01:23:34,135 --> 01:23:37,806
Mighty Caesar.
I've talked to my comrades.
1199
01:23:38,515 --> 01:23:42,143
We feel our labor classification
is unjust.
1200
01:23:42,686 --> 01:23:47,065
From now on,
we want official gladiator status
1201
01:23:47,232 --> 01:23:50,026
with social and fiscal advantages.
1202
01:23:50,527 --> 01:23:53,738
If not, we strike.
Right, guys?
1203
01:23:55,198 --> 01:23:57,367
They're punch-drunk!
1204
01:23:58,284 --> 01:23:59,994
Go fight!
1205
01:24:00,620 --> 01:24:01,871
I'll give you
1206
01:24:02,414 --> 01:24:04,666
what you want but fight!
1207
01:24:06,126 --> 01:24:07,919
Get it in writing!
1208
01:24:08,670 --> 01:24:10,755
We want that in writing!
1209
01:24:11,297 --> 01:24:13,842
The Consul must meet your union rep.
1210
01:24:14,259 --> 01:24:17,721
The Consul must talk
to our union rep!
1211
01:24:20,181 --> 01:24:24,310
And who is
your union representative?
1212
01:24:24,477 --> 01:24:25,812
My colleagues and I
1213
01:24:26,020 --> 01:24:29,357
have democratically elected
Ben-Hur Marcel.
1214
01:24:29,566 --> 01:24:33,069
That pudgy thing'll drive me crazy!
1215
01:24:33,445 --> 01:24:35,572
I'm fed up!
1216
01:24:36,072 --> 01:24:39,743
Guards!
Force the gladiators to fight!
1217
01:24:40,326 --> 01:24:43,163
- Well?
- No hassle! Go!
1218
01:24:48,793 --> 01:24:50,295
No, mighty Caesar!
1219
01:24:50,503 --> 01:24:52,046
We won't budge.
1220
01:24:52,255 --> 01:24:55,300
As the Roman security force,
we're made to do the dirty work.
1221
01:24:55,467 --> 01:24:56,926
That's why we're hated.
1222
01:24:57,093 --> 01:25:00,805
We beat up students,
we beat up workers,
1223
01:25:00,972 --> 01:25:03,391
but we won't beat up strikers.
1224
01:25:06,394 --> 01:25:08,897
We're working for Ben-Hur Marcel
from now on!
1225
01:25:09,105 --> 01:25:10,732
Long live Ben-Hur Marcel!
1226
01:25:14,778 --> 01:25:16,946
I don't feel at all well.
1227
01:25:17,113 --> 01:25:19,157
My gala is a bust!
1228
01:25:19,324 --> 01:25:22,619
My arena, plastered with soap ads!
1229
01:25:22,786 --> 01:25:26,581
My guards turned
into sandwich-men!
1230
01:25:27,624 --> 01:25:30,752
I'm covered with ridicule!
1231
01:25:31,586 --> 01:25:34,130
They'll still be laughing
in the 20th century!
1232
01:25:34,339 --> 01:25:36,841
Get hold of yourself, mighty Caesar!
1233
01:25:37,008 --> 01:25:39,886
I'm sick of that pudgy thing!
1234
01:25:40,053 --> 01:25:43,056
Get rid of him.
Rid me of him!
1235
01:25:43,389 --> 01:25:46,851
If you love me, get rid of him.
1236
01:25:50,480 --> 01:25:52,232
Calm down!
1237
01:25:52,398 --> 01:25:55,109
Your wild beasts won't betray you.
1238
01:25:55,276 --> 01:25:57,403
They don't want welfare benefits!
1239
01:25:57,570 --> 01:25:58,655
They don't?
1240
01:25:58,822 --> 01:26:02,283
Straighten up!
Be the mighty Caesar!
1241
01:26:02,450 --> 01:26:06,079
At times, it's very hard.
1242
01:26:07,413 --> 01:26:08,665
Ok...
1243
01:26:09,791 --> 01:26:14,754
Gladiators, is that your last word?
1244
01:26:15,171 --> 01:26:16,506
Absolutely!
1245
01:26:36,860 --> 01:26:39,654
What do I do?
1246
01:26:39,821 --> 01:26:41,281
Explode or what?
1247
01:26:41,990 --> 01:26:44,701
I'll hang on. I'm Emperor.
1248
01:26:45,785 --> 01:26:47,745
Aminemefet, the winner!
1249
01:26:51,249 --> 01:26:52,834
Romans!
1250
01:27:04,220 --> 01:27:08,016
Respect for democratic principles
forces me
1251
01:27:08,182 --> 01:27:11,019
to yield to popular demands.
1252
01:27:11,561 --> 01:27:14,772
But the games are not over!
1253
01:27:14,939 --> 01:27:17,442
The wild beasts are waiting!
1254
01:27:18,526 --> 01:27:21,988
Aminemefet has won
the gladiator event.
1255
01:27:22,155 --> 01:27:24,574
He'll now face a wild beast.
1256
01:27:25,867 --> 01:27:28,828
Divine Cleopatra!
Caesar! Your play!
1257
01:27:35,293 --> 01:27:36,294
A double 5!
1258
01:27:40,965 --> 01:27:44,052
I love your hair.
You use a rinse?
1259
01:27:44,218 --> 01:27:45,720
It's natural.
1260
01:27:45,887 --> 01:27:49,599
But I use cyclamen-juice shampoo.
1261
01:27:49,807 --> 01:27:52,936
I must try it.
Isn't it nice, Tatoous?
1262
01:27:53,102 --> 01:27:54,687
Not bad, my Queen.
1263
01:27:56,689 --> 01:27:58,399
Well?
1264
01:27:59,150 --> 01:28:02,111
A double 6!
I get to choose.
1265
01:28:03,488 --> 01:28:06,407
What is Divine Cleopatra's choice?
1266
01:28:09,243 --> 01:28:10,370
The lion!
1267
01:28:10,536 --> 01:28:13,039
Cleopatra has chosen the lion!
1268
01:28:20,338 --> 01:28:22,382
Yes! It's him!
1269
01:28:22,590 --> 01:28:26,135
Lucien the Lion!
Like 9 out of I 0 beasts,
1270
01:28:26,302 --> 01:28:28,805
Lucien prefers Caninus!
1271
01:28:29,013 --> 01:28:32,558
Caninus! The big feast
in a little can!
1272
01:28:45,279 --> 01:28:49,242
For silky fur, use Hairsheenus!
1273
01:28:49,409 --> 01:28:52,453
The shampoo with that jungle aroma!
1274
01:28:57,750 --> 01:29:02,171
We're on TV live! For free!
1275
01:29:02,964 --> 01:29:06,426
Caninus, a feast for your pets!
1276
01:29:07,218 --> 01:29:09,137
That lion's eaten so much,
1277
01:29:09,470 --> 01:29:10,513
he can't get
1278
01:29:10,722 --> 01:29:12,348
off his ass!
1279
01:29:29,991 --> 01:29:31,993
Even the lion...
1280
01:29:32,160 --> 01:29:33,911
Even the lion...
1281
01:29:34,120 --> 01:29:36,539
Cleopatra! Caesar!
1282
01:29:36,706 --> 01:29:39,333
I never saw this happen before!
1283
01:29:40,460 --> 01:29:43,129
So... Aminemefet, the winner!
1284
01:29:43,671 --> 01:29:46,049
Aminemefet, the winner!
1285
01:29:52,722 --> 01:29:57,018
That does it.
Poison me! I want to die!
1286
01:29:57,185 --> 01:29:59,812
Give me hemlock,
with a little sugar.
1287
01:30:07,403 --> 01:30:11,074
You must congratulate the victor!
1288
01:30:11,240 --> 01:30:12,533
Never!
1289
01:30:12,700 --> 01:30:15,203
It's the tradition.
You must embrace the winner.
1290
01:30:15,369 --> 01:30:17,872
Embrace him?
No, that's not possible.
1291
01:30:18,039 --> 01:30:19,540
I'd rather die!
1292
01:30:19,707 --> 01:30:23,086
Come on, embracing a pudgy fellow
won't kill you.
1293
01:30:25,129 --> 01:30:26,380
A pudgy one?
1294
01:30:39,519 --> 01:30:41,521
He does seem rather nice.
1295
01:30:41,687 --> 01:30:43,523
I said so before!
1296
01:30:44,482 --> 01:30:48,402
I must look like
I was hit by a sphinx!
1297
01:30:48,569 --> 01:30:49,821
A mess, eh?
1298
01:30:50,029 --> 01:30:51,906
Look at my crown...
1299
01:30:52,073 --> 01:30:54,450
I get so upset with myself.
1300
01:30:57,120 --> 01:30:59,455
Come on up!
1301
01:31:21,352 --> 01:31:26,149
Congratulations,
valiant young Pharaoh!
1302
01:31:26,315 --> 01:31:29,819
And I love your outfit too.
1303
01:31:30,236 --> 01:31:31,821
Very attractive!
1304
01:31:32,655 --> 01:31:34,657
Here's the trophy
1305
01:31:34,824 --> 01:31:39,036
that will always remind the world
of your great victory.
1306
01:31:39,203 --> 01:31:40,705
Thank you.
1307
01:31:50,173 --> 01:31:51,924
No, that's enough...
1308
01:32:01,100 --> 01:32:02,185
Friends...
1309
01:32:02,977 --> 01:32:04,228
My friends!
1310
01:32:05,897 --> 01:32:07,273
Long live Ben-Hur Marcel!
1311
01:32:07,940 --> 01:32:10,735
My message to you is
but 1 word.
1312
01:32:11,652 --> 01:32:14,113
Reconciliation!
1313
01:32:19,327 --> 01:32:22,747
You all think Caesar is shit.
1314
01:32:25,166 --> 01:32:26,167
Ya think
1315
01:32:26,375 --> 01:32:29,128
the Consul and his men are shit.
1316
01:32:30,671 --> 01:32:33,925
Emirs, cops and the army are shit.
1317
01:32:35,426 --> 01:32:37,386
They think you're shit!
1318
01:32:39,472 --> 01:32:41,724
And both sides are right!
1319
01:32:41,891 --> 01:32:44,852
Cuz ya let 'em take ya for shit!
1320
01:32:51,901 --> 01:32:54,195
Since we're all shit, why fight?
1321
01:33:36,070 --> 01:33:38,489
- Stop drinking, dear.
- But, mommy...
1322
01:33:38,656 --> 01:33:40,533
And don't mommy me!
1323
01:33:45,496 --> 01:33:48,374
Being a mechanic wasn't my calling.
1324
01:33:48,541 --> 01:33:50,334
I just followed my dad.
1325
01:33:50,501 --> 01:33:53,212
Being Pharaoh suits me fine!
1326
01:33:53,754 --> 01:33:57,174
Rubies are nice
but can't go with everything.
1327
01:33:57,591 --> 01:34:02,805
8 days in Mesopotamia,
I didn't bathe even once!
1328
01:34:06,642 --> 01:34:08,811
A little lamb?
1329
01:34:11,397 --> 01:34:13,190
Dancing girls?
1330
01:34:18,571 --> 01:34:19,530
Coffee?
1331
01:34:19,697 --> 01:34:21,657
- Now that...
- A drop of coffee, yes.
1332
01:34:32,668 --> 01:34:35,629
You must tell me
who does your gowns...
1333
01:34:40,676 --> 01:34:45,014
Bethlehem is jammed
with tourists
1334
01:34:45,181 --> 01:34:48,601
and it's impossible
to find an inn room.
1335
01:34:48,768 --> 01:34:51,687
A carpenter and his pregnant wife
1336
01:34:52,021 --> 01:34:55,775
were forced to sleep in a stable
1337
01:34:55,941 --> 01:35:00,821
where the woman gave birth to a son.
1338
01:35:01,030 --> 01:35:02,907
Such crap on TV!
1339
01:35:03,074 --> 01:35:05,368
A kid in a stable!
Big deal!
1340
01:35:06,786 --> 01:35:09,246
Look! Isn't he sweet?
1341
01:35:09,413 --> 01:35:11,248
Wait till he grows up!
1342
01:35:11,415 --> 01:35:13,250
At least it's a boy!
1343
01:35:13,417 --> 01:35:15,378
Can't they show sports?
1344
01:35:15,544 --> 01:35:17,963
A kid born in a stable
in Bethlehem!
1345
01:35:18,130 --> 01:35:20,174
That's gonna change the world?
1346
01:35:21,926 --> 01:35:22,927
What did I say?
1347
01:35:23,552 --> 01:35:26,972
How'll a kid born in a stable
change things?
1348
01:35:36,023 --> 01:35:39,276
The divine child is born!
1349
01:35:39,443 --> 01:35:43,030
Play your cassettus and transistory!
1350
01:35:43,197 --> 01:35:46,283
The divine child is born!
1351
01:35:46,450 --> 01:35:49,578
Let's videotape some History!
90258
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