All language subtitles for Grandfathered s01e16 Fierce.eng

(cheering)

MAN: All right, proud of you, son!

Okay, I tried to spy on one of the dads

who looks like he knows
what he's talking about.

He mentioned the word graphite.

Do you know what that means?

No.

Yeah, me neither.

I'm sorry you don't have a dad

who's been through this
before to help you.

It's okay.

Maybe this can be another
one of those things

that we both agree is dumb.

- Like baseball and yogurt?
- Those are dumb.

Attention. Attention, everyone.

Edie, do you want to help

Daddy tap his glass,
make a little toast?

- No.
- VANESSA: Edie!

Yeah, well, kid got
everyone's attention.

(whistles) Good job, kiddo.

Our news is...

we closed our deal with our investor,

our App is now a real company.

- Oh, great. Congratulations.
- Yeah!

I love that App.

You don't know what
their App is, do you?

Isn't it an App called
CoParentPro that helps parents

in nontraditional relationships

help schedule their kids' lives
by syncing and tracking

their meals and their
school assignments?

- I'm super-touched.
- I did not see that coming.

- Remember to remember this moment.
- We just got our first check.

Let's just say there were some zeros.

- Don't ask how many.
- Well, this...

Five freaking zeros!

- Oh!
- Holy cow! Why are we

- eating in this dump?
- Hey.

She's not counting the decimal point.

It's three zeros.

- Ah.
- Mmm.

All right, well, I'd
like to make a toast.

A year ago, I didn't
even know you existed.

In the last few months,
I got to watch you grow up

right in front of my eyes.

Look at this, kid's even got

his own tech company.

Maybe someday you'll own a restaurant.

Hey.

Cheers.

Son, I'm very proud of you.

(cheering)

- MAN: Congratulations, son!
- GERALD: Hey!

In 15 years, I sell an App,
and my dad hugs me for it.

Suck it, scouts.

I'm from the future.

Subtitle sync and corrections
by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.

Son, I really am very proud of you.

- Thanks, Dad.
- Now do me, do me.

Um... (chuckles) I'm proud
of you, too, 'cause...

Ah, no, this is your moment, I
don't want to step all over it.

- Okay.
- Well, since you asked,

SoCal Cuisine, a very
prestigious restaurant magazine,

has asked me to be on its cover.

May, the longest of all months.

Yeah, it's a seven-way tie,
but... awesome.

Thank you. The photo shoot and
the interview are tomorrow,

so I have to really put all my energy

into looking good and talking good.

Start with "talking good."

Sara, this isn't a joke, all right?

The cover of SoCal Cuisine
magazine could be

very big for the restaurant.

So I have to be my physical best,

and I have to come up with
some compelling answers

to these hard-hitting
questions, such as...

"What is your favorite pasta?"

Look out... gotcha journalism.

I-I'm sorry.

I just got to say it one more time.

Uh, I feel awesome, you know?

Uh, I sold an App,
I made my daddy proud.

Baller.

Would have been a
little bit more baller

if you'd said "dad" instead
of "daddy," but I hear you.

You know, I was just looking

at the group of hot girls
over there, I was like,

"Man, I wish I could talk to them."

Then I was like, "Oh, wait, I can.

I'm a freaking man."

Yeah.

It's a cool feeling.

I'm gonna play Minecraft.

Oh, wait, no, I'm not.

I'm gonna go talk to those girls.

Yeah, I like this side of you,

this sexy, confident side.

You're like... you're
like Beyonc?'s alter ego.

- You're Gerald Fierce. (purrs)
- (purrs, chuckles)

Oh, you should definitely do
that in the magazine interview.

(blows raspberry)

I'm going in.

- Ah.
- Hey, hey, hey.

You hitting the lady buffet, too?

What are you thinking?
Maybe you lead it off,

get things warmed up, then I get
in there and I close the deal.

Yeah, or, you know, we could just talk

to completely different
groups of people.

Divide and conquer. Genius.

Are you not supposed to be
in the kitchen right now?

Yeah, I mean, I made 'em dinner,

now I'm gonna serve 'em dessert.

Ugh.

Excuse me, no goddesses allowed here.

Hey, I'm Gerald...

Okay, you, my friend, look like sex.

There is not a guy in here
who's not eye-slamming you.

Really?

(giggles)

What do you want, Vanessa?

Can you help me paint
Edie's nursery tomorrow?

I'd do it myself, but you're
the artist in the family.

Plus you got those
long supermodel arms.

The timing is just not good.

I've got back-to-back patients.

I have to return these pants.

Look, I saved the tag.

And there's a Pinot stain on the couch

I've been eyeing for over a year.

Okay, no problem. (chuckles)

Did you hear that, Edie?

Grandma can't help paint
your room, 'cause she's got

- to spend tomorrow at the mall
- No, no, no.

- lying to people about her pants. I know.
- No, no, no.

Don't worry, she's okay.

I will find a way to be there.

(gasps) You are dope.

It's true, I am dope.

- Tss-tss.
- What?

You ever wonder what it looks like

when our son gets to first base?

A lot like that.

SARA: Oh, this must be huge for you.

This is the equivalent to other dads

seeing their kids graduate Harvard.

Let's capture the moment.

Oh!

Got it.

"Hashtag Martino Brothers.

"Hashtag sexy happens at Jimmy's.

Hashtag check out SoCal Cuisine."

You're not supposed to write out
the whole word "hashtag."

It's the button, not the
star one, the-the pound one.

The tic-tac-toe...
Oh, dear God, we're old.

GERALD: So she said,

"You look like a young Baldwin brother."

And I was like, "Which Baldwin?"

And she goes, "Anyone
but Alec, Danny or Billy."

(laughing)

Tell 'em the good part.
Tell 'em the good part.

- Oh, uh, my dad said he was proud of me.
- ALL: Aw...

No, tell 'em about the
part about the girl.

Oh, we made out.

(chuckling)

I did not see that coming.

I'm not surprised.

That's not all.

I was vibing a nice
little piece of tail, too.

I'm spitting game,
this girl goes, get this,

"You look like a hot Gandhi."

What?!

That sounds kind of racist.

What? No, you're not
following the story.

Anyway, it's getting
pretty hot and heavy

between me and homegirl.

We've been texting, probably
used every emoji at least once.

Yeah, I put up a Craigslist
missed connection,

so I'll be in touch
with my girl soon, too.

Here, look, I posted a picture
of Gerald and Kelly right there.

Aren't they cute?

- Ooh.
- Ooh.

All right, enough of this.
I got a lot to do.

In less than 24 hours, I'm gonna
be a magazine cover model.

I've got to get on
with my beauty regime.

Annelise, is this the, uh,
pore-reducing, non-GMO

yogurt face mask I ordered?

Yes.

'Cause you wouldn't let me put

regular yogurt on my face, would you?

No.

Right.

And you're sure this is yogurt?

- Yes.
- Okay.

Who's @WesDiesel23?

I don't know all my 88 fans. Why?

Because he said he was
gonna beat up Gerald.

GERALD: "You kiss my girl.

"Better get on your knees
and beg for forgiveness,

or I'm-a kick your ass, bitch"?

How's this guy have 92 followers?

That's not fair.

It looks like he's screaming at
someone in every single picture.

Did she tell you she had a boyfriend?

Yeah, she said she had an obsessive ex

and it was complicated,

but then her tongue was in my mouth,

and I stopped asking questions.

- What are we gonna do?
- "We"?

Yeah, I mean,

he's mad at you for kissing his girl,

but I'm flouncing around
like I'm Hot Gandhi.

No doubt word has spread,

and he's not peachy keen about that.

- Yeah, "Hot Gandhi."
- Guy will probably go away, right?

It's 2016. Nobody fights anymore.

Everyone's too obese
or depressed to fight.

They work out their
issues on video games.

Maybe nobody fights in your world,

but people still fight.

You don't ever open a bottle

of wine on a Friday and watch

the latest street fights on YouTube?

Kimbo Slice versus the
bandana guy at the marina?

- Nobody?
- Show of hands.

Do people in this modern
civilized society of ours

still get into fist fights?

(all clamor in agreement)

Do any of you?

Recently?

You know what?
I can take this guy, all right?

I'm, I'm not still
that little lonely boy

on the playground anymore.

No, no, you're not.

What are you doing?

I am saving your ass peacefully

before it gets handed
to you on a platter.

(chuckles)

You've seriously never
seen Kimbo Slice?

No.

Loser.

Okay, I have two hours,

and then I have to get
back to my paperwork.

Oh, and that stain.

I got to start drinking white wine.

(Edie fussing)

Oh, great. Dozens of boxes.

I was hoping there'd be a hidden
cardio challenge to this test.

I was gonna move them,
but I ran out of time.

'Cause I got a new job
making sales calls

for the L.A. Philharmonic.

- Huh.
- It's pretty easy.

It's mostly just getting hung up on.

ABUELA: Vanessa, the arrow

from the computer screen
disappears again.

I told you it didn't disappear.

You just got to move the mouse around.

It only come backs for you.

Ah, let me go fix Abuela's computer,

so, uh, she can illegally
watch a Cuban baseball game.

Uh, don't wait for me.

Okay.

(grunts)

(gasps)

Kev, Sully, how's the skirt steak?

Oh, it's good, Jimbo. Always good.

"Jimbo." Cops love me.

We're cut from the same cloth.

You know, old country, blue collar.

So, tell me again what happened?

I sold an App and my dad
told me he was proud of me.

To give you some context,
I grew up without

a real father figure, so you can
imagine what that meant to me.

He's not like us. He was
born in an ivory tower.

That's not true.

I grew up in a studio apartment
with a single parent.

He kissed a girl and her ex-boyfriend's

making threats online now.

You know we love you, Jimbo.

- "Jimbo."
- There's nothing to this.

You know, nine times out of ten

you never hear from the guy again.

KEV: Well, we got to roll.

Thanks for the steak, Jimbo.

All right, say hi to
your mothers for me.

You know, sometimes I think

they just come in here
for the free food.

Guess I know what I have to do.

(huffing)

Why does no one punch with
both fists at the same time?

Did I just change boxing?

No, you didn't.

Hey, I tried to reschedule
your straight razor shave

for the magazine photo shoot... no dice.

Damn it! I look like
a friggin' werewolf.

Is it ready?

- Martino special? Good to go.
- One or two?

- Number three.
- Mm-hmm.

- Smart.
- What's number three?

There's nothing a Jimmy Martino
gift basket can't smooth over.

Breakups, forgotten birthdays,

tax fraud.

Once he tries one of these

summer sausages, all is forgiven.

It's fine. It's wrapped.

Yeah, I'm not sure

this is the kind of guy
who aerates his wine.

Well, then he's a bigger
idiot than I thought.

You know, this is
ridiculous, all right?

I'm just gonna confront
this guy... I mean, Dad?

What do you say, huh?
You want to turn this

into a little, uh, making
up for lost time thing?

Father teaches his son how to fight.

No, that's not what a father does.

Sure it is. It's exactly
what a father does.

- Enough, Gerald.
- Come on, it'll be great!

Enough!

That's not what a father does.

Hi, Pop.

Hey, kid.

What's with your face?

Chris Sanzovere took
a swing at me today.

Did you hit him back?

Then you deserve a black eye.

(door closes)

(engine starts)

Dad, wait!

Dad?

Summer sausage?

No.

Oh, that was the last box.

Convenient timing.

Oh, I'm so sorry!

Our Wi-Fi is the worst.

Evan next door keeps
changing his password.

Uh, let's get to painting.

Vanessa, it's a white man

at the door with a box.

That's the mailman.

Do not turn on the hose!

(sighs)

Wait, is something very bad in here.

(gasps)

You moved my Santa Barbara statue!

I know, Abuela, but I had
to pack up so I could paint.

You're upsetting the spirits!

Oh, no, don't worry, Abuela.

There are no spirits. That's totally...

Not something you're gonna convince

a Cuban woman after 60 years
of practicing Santeria.

(gasps)

I...

- Oh, I feel them, too, Abuela!
- I told you...

Oh, I can feel the spirits!
You know what?

I'm gonna get the supplies

and-and we're gonna ward them off.

"Supplies"? What supplies?

Oh, it's no big deal.

It's just garlic skins, brown sugar,

a little sage, water and rum...

actually, that is a lot.

Come help me carry.

Okay.

Oh, see, the thing
about a wine stain is,

after a year it sets,
you'll never get it out!

Mr. Diesel23? Mr. Diesel23?

Mr., Mr. Diesel?

Hey, I'm Ravi.

Boy, are you in for a treat.

I hope you're not kosher.

He didn't like the sausage.

- Yeah, you're gonna get your ass beat.
- Yeah, I am, right?

He knows where we are
right now. Yeah, literally.

- Right now?
- Yeah, he got our business card.

It was in the basket.
It was the only thing he kept.

- That and the wine aerator.
- Wait...

Okay, okay, look.

I know your dad left you, G-man, twice.

Good news is, Hot Gandhi
is a practitioner

of the Venusian and martial arts.

It's all a balance between
the highs and the lows.

Got your eyes, nads, eyes, nads,

eyes, nads, pits!

Everyone forgets the pits.

Ignore him. As a woman
who watches dozens

of street fight videos every
weekend, let me help you.

Great, yeah. What do you got?

Okay, so you don't have

skills, strength or speed,

but what you do have is heart.

- Great.
- Which is not enough.

You need those other
things I mentioned.

So my advice...
learn how to lose this fight

as painlessly as possible.

- Okay.
- Do you know the tortoise shell technique?

- Nope.
- Watch and learn.

The tortoise is the safest animal.

Just don't forget the pits.

Even a tortoise has pits, bro.

(toilet flushes)

Great choice of tile in
the upstairs bathroom.

Very mid-century.

Thank you, Victor, can we
just, uh, do the questions?

Let's get the practice
interview started.

Feet off the couch, hey?

(grunting)

(sighs)

What is the biggest challenge
of owning a restaurant in L.A.?

Pass.

What kind of food do you eat

in your downtime?

Jimmy?

Jimmy?

Jimmy? Jimmy, come on, eat up.

Stop.

- What are you looking at?
- Nothing.

You're looking at something.

Who's that kid?

It's Chris Sanzovere.

The kid who gave you the black eye?

Come on.

Hey, pal,

your kid hit my kid after school,

so they're gonna step outside
and finish this like men.

What the hell are you talking about?

I think you heard me.

I'm eating dinner with my family...

VICTOR: Describe your
best dining experience.

Jimmy, are you okay?

Yeah.

I'm okay.

(phone chimes)

Your place looks a lot like mine.

Who's your interior decorator?

Mine was Ayushi.

Okay, Abuela, we're
warding off the evil.

There it goes.

The smoke from the pan
gets rid of the spirits.

It also makes Sara's shirt
smell like a Dumpster fire.

Don't be cute. Why she's
not waving the sage?

Come on, wave the sage.

The spirits said I was waving it fine.

And why is nobody spitting the rum?

Oh. Quick, Sara, uh,
take a swig of the rum

and spit it in the corners of the room.

I could've been drinking
this whole time?

Oh, she's trying to be
cute again. Shake.

Uh, come on. Spit and wave, Sara.

It's not rocket science.

No! Up, up!

(spits twice) Not... (spits)

Corners, corners. East, west.

East, west. Spit wide.

That way.

No, no, no, no, no.

- I'm-I'm done.
- (gasps)

Vanessa, I feel tricked.
I'm extremely busy

and you've wasted my entire day.

And, Abuela, there's
no such thing as spirits.

Loca!

Crazy...

Great job.

(speaking Spanish)

Cheers.

Okay, I think you're
ready to lose this fight.

Alternate idea: you
could move up to Maine.

Stephen King lives up there.

- (car approaching)
- Seems very nice.

- I think that's him pulling up.
- Oh.

At least we don't have to get into

a back and forth about location.

Let me just get some
pictures of your face

so the doctors can reconstruct it.

There you go.

Beat it!

Oh, this is gonna get ugly.
You gonna take a video of this?

Definitely. I deleted a bunch
of pictures of my nephew

to make room for it.

Well, well, well.

Glad you decided to step outside.

Makes it easier to clean up

the mess I'm about to make.

Unless you're ready to apologize.

No, I'm not going to apologize

to a misogynist bully.

That's you.

Hey, you're gonna have
to get past Hot Gandhi,

you want to get to my boy.

Oh, you're good.

I-I can't help you, I'm sorry.

Kelly's a good kisser, isn't she?

Yeah. Best I ever had.

And I've had five.

(grunts)

Remember what I told you: stay loose

and lose consciousness
as fast as possible.

- Yah!
- What are you doing?

I'm doing pretty good... Ah!

Don't touch my girl.

Don't touch my son.

Dad, what are you doing?

- Just one second.
- What?

Gerald, having a father to egg you on

to get in a fight is not
something you missed out on.

Trust me, I know.

- Guys...
- I asked for a second.

- Okay.
- I'm not just proud of you

because you developed an
App or you fought a guy.

I'm proud of you because you're good.

And you're kind.

And I like to think

that if I was around earlier

that I would've raised you
to be that kind of man.

Hey, guys! I'm on my
lunch break. Seriously?

- Bup-bup-bup!
- Bup-bup-bup! Listen, Dad,

I know that's how you
would've raised me.

I just wish you'd been at my
little race car derby thing.

You would've been proud.
I came in fifth.

- Yeah?
- Eighth.

Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss...

What? You guys are so into
each other, go ahead and do it.

- You ready?
- Yeah.

- Okay.
- Here we go.

(grunting)

I'm going in!

Come on, Dad!

(grunting)

Ah, you jerk!

You're a jerk!

Ow!

Eh.

Nobody's gonna watch this.

Delete.

(grunting)

Ow, my car keys!

Hey, I'm taking off,

but I didn't want to leave
things weird between us.

Is Abuela okay?

Yeah, yeah. She calmed down.

Like, we just had to
light a couple candles

and split open a coconut
and ask it a question.

(laughs)

Oh, you're not kidding.

Listen, I'm sorry

I snapped before.

Oh, no, I totally understand.

And I know how busy you are

and, obviously, Abuela's a handful.

- (phone buzzing)
- Oh! Oh, man.

I got to make seven more
sales calls before 5:00.

Just one sec.

Hey, Mrs. Reeser. The LA Phil

is making a special package
deal for season tickets.

Oh, you should go.

Live. Go live your life.
I'm gonna finish painting.

Oh, so you're not sold yet, huh?

What if I told you
that Beethoven himself

is making an appearance?

Oh. Okay...

- She hung up.
- Vanessa...

the arrow from the
computer disappears again.

And my Santeria beads are tangled.

VANESSA: Okay, it's okay, I got it.

(sniffs) What is that smell?

- Oh, we need to change your diaper.
- (doorbell rings)

Oh! The doorbell.

Don't use the hose!

We're gonna change your diaper.

What?

My life's not that busy.

I've got a couple of annoying clients,

a pair of pants

I know I'm gonna keep

and a wine stain... which, by now,

face it, is probably permanent.

But you are incredible.

Go deal with the 8,000
things you have to do.

I will stay and paint Edie's nursery.

- Oh... Really, Sara?
- Yes.

Thank you. You are a lifesaver.

Oh! No pressure. I got Edie a new bed.

Could you put a bowl of water

- under it for the spirits?
- Sure.

The bed's in a box, so you're
gonna have to assemble it first.

Thanks. You really are dope.

I am dope.

Ah...

SARA: How do you still look
good with a black eye?

It's not fair.

Ah, you know what they say.

A dented Porsche is
still a Porsche. Right?

- Right.
- Yeah.

Hey, I didn't know your
dad was such a beast.

Must be where I get my uppercut from.

That was a jab. Sort of.

Well, he's a complicated guy.
You'll meet him.

Oh, he loves me.

- Especially after a glass of wine.
- Oh, yeah.

All right. Let's get into this interview.

"What is your favorite pasta?"

"Tagliatelle."

Boom.

Classy.

"What do you like to do for
fun on a Saturday night?"

"If I told you, I'd have to
kill you. (raises eyebrow)"?

Right? I-I riffed that
right on the spot.

Let's just look at the
cover again, shall we?

What do we think?

- Looks sexy.
- Not bad.

Let me show my granddaughter.

Look at this.

Is that handsome?

Subtitle sync and corrections
by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0