Original subtitles

♪ Ahh, ah-ah, ahh ♪

♪ If you need me, call me ♪

♪ I´ll be there in a hurry ♪

♪ You don´t have to worry ♪

♪ You know that there ain´t no mountain high enough ♪

♪ Ain´t no valley low enough ♪

♪ Ain´t no river wide enough ♪

♪ To keep me from getting to you ♪

[ Rhythmic clapping, heavy metal music plays ]

[ Music continues ]

[ Music ends, cheers and applause ]

RYAN: Whoo! Wasn´t that fantastic?

I´m sure you all agree our dancers did really well tonight,

despite the sea being a bit choppy.

Now, before you all leave, where´s my mum and dad?

Linda and Micky?

Stand up.

It was their wedding anniversary yesterday.

-Have you enjoyed the cruise? -It´s been lovely!

-MICKY: Bloody wonderful! -Dad´s pissed.

-[ Laughter ] -Sorry. Only joking.

Well, happy anniversary from me, from our Ruby...

and from the rest of the entertainment team.

We´d like to wish you all a very safe journey home tomorrow...

and hope you´ll join us again on board the Aztec.

-Good night! -[ Cheers and applause ]

Are you gonna drink that?

It´s too strong.

Oh, give it here.

Me mam used to sing in a band, and all three of ´em

hitched down to Greenham Common.

-Mm. -She fought with the police.

And then they chained themselves to the fence.

All right, Ryan!

Amazing. So, what do you both do now?

Oh, not much.

I used to work in printing, but I was made redundant.

So, this cruise has been brilliant.

I know you´ve done a special rate for us...

-RUBY: Dad. -No, it has to be said.

We could never have afforded it.

Huh. Not a balcony room anyway, so, hey, cheers.

Well, happy anniversary to the pair of you.

-Ooh, ooh! I felt that. -[ Cellphone chimes ]

It´s a bit choppy tonight, isn´t it?

I think we better order.

Oh, damn. I forgot me glasses.

I´ve left them in the cabin.

-Do you want me to go? -MICKY: No.

I know where they are.

I´ll be back in a minute.

He´s slaughtered. [ Chuckles ]

[ Chimes play ]

MAN ON P.A.: When traveling ´round the ship,

please use handrails at all times.

-Are you all right, sir? -Yeah, yeah. I´m fine.

-Thanks, love. -MAN ON P.A.: Please make sure

all balcony doors are securely fastened.

Thank you.

LINDA: He was a bit nervous of sailing,

and he got very tense

when we did the evacuation drill on the first night.

I told him we did it every trip.

I-I don´t know where he´s got to.

I´ll go check.

No. It´s all right.

I´ll go.

I bet he´s just turned wrong way again

when he came out of cabin.

I won´t be long.

[ Suspenseful music plays ]

[ Waves crashing ]

RUBY: Sometimes when I look at photos of me mam back then,

I can´t believe she´s the same person.

He wasn´t in the cabin,

but the balcony door was wide open,

and the chair was on its side.

He´s not answering his bloody phone.

-Shit! -Oh, my God!

You don´t think something could have happened to him, do you?

His cigarettes are on the floor.

-His glasses are still here. -LINDA: Oh, my God. Oh.

We should put a call out for him.

I think we should sound the alarm.

[ Alarm blaring ]

-[ Soft music plays ] -So, how do you know them?

Oh, we´re best friends, all three of us.

We´ve known each other for over 40 years.

Longer than I´ve been alive.

Aren´t you the lucky one.

But I´ve been so busy lately, I haven´t had

-a chance to see them to... -[ Beep, buzzing ]

Aah! God! What have you got it on?!

40 volts. Same as last week.

I can turn it down a bit if you want.

No. I won´t get as good a lift.

-I´ll get used to it. -[ Beep, buzzing ]

Aaaahhh!

[ Alt-J´s "Taro" plays ]

TOGETHER: Hey, Taro!

Come on. Morning.

Nice to see you. Hello, love.

-MAN: Morning, Gail. -Nice to see you. Hello.

Hello. Good morning.

All right. Hello. Hello.

MAN #2: Morning, Gail. You all right?

Yeah, I´m fine. It´s nice to see you.

-Is she all right now? -Oh, much better.

Thank you. Cheers.

-[ Horn honking ] -MAN #3: Come on, love.

-What are you doing? -Mam.

[ Man vocalizing ]

Tom.

Tom. Tom. Tom.

Oh. [ Sighs ]

So, what you gonna wear?

I can´t fit into anything. [ Sighs ]

I´ve piled on weight on the cruise.

I´ll have to go back to Weight Watchers.

-[ Beeping ] -Oh, damn and blast!

What?

-[ Beeping continues ] -Oh.

Oh!

Aah!

Oh, damn!

Bugger! Oh!

[ Beeping continues ]

Oh.

-RUBY: What happened? -Oh!

[ Coughing ]

[ Beeping continues ]

[ Gasps ]

[ Sighs ]

I can´t remember anything anymore!

I´m falling to bits.

I ache everywhere. The house is a mess.

Oh!

I´ve got cat poo on me dressing gown,

and now I´ve burned the buns.

It don´t matter. We´ll make some more.

You´re supposed to shit in the litter tray, Florence.

Right, so, you need to be in this house

between 7:00 p.m. and 7:00 a.m.

And if you´re not, or you tamper with the tag or that box...

an alarm will go off, and you´ll have me

or the police knockin´ at your door.

Sign here.

Cheers. Thanks for the tea, love.

There´s your trousers.

SUE: Linda was lead vocalist.

Me and Gail were just really backing.

Where did you all meet?

Hall Lane youth club.

And this Micky -- He was Linda´s husband, and it´s his funeral?

Not his funeral, no, because they never found his body.

-He died at sea. -Right. Right.

It´s really just a service for him.

-[ Ringtone plays ] -Ooh, ooh, ooh! They´re wet!

Can you get it for me? Um, in the bag, yeah.

Quick, darling. Otherwise, he´ll ring off.

Green button.

To my ear, yeah. Thanks.

-[ Sultry voice ] Hi, there. -LOUISE: It´s Louise.

Um, do you want to put some money in

for Stacey´s birthday present?

God, why? I don´t even like the woman.

Oh, go on, then. £2.

And, uh, I thought you should know --

She´s asked me to forward your contact list

to the shared drive.

What?!

No way on God´s earth! I´m coming in.

All right. Come on. Get these foils out!

[ Blowing ]

Both for you.

Oh.

How long do I have to leave this tannin´ stuff on for?

A couple of hours, and it should take.

And remember -- If anybody asks,

you´ve been selling time-share in Thailand.

You know I´ve never been to Thailand.

And I know sod all about time-shares.

Well, make summat up.

You´ve told enough lies in the past,

-you should know how to do it. -Oh, thanks, Mam.

GAIL: Well, I didn´t wanna tell people

you were servin´ 15 months in Armley nick

for receiving stolen cars, did I?

Oh, my God.

What is it?

Mam?

It´s my decree nisi.

It´s real.

Me and Dave are divorced.

Yeah, well, you´re better off without that bastard.

You know, any man who makes a mother

choose between her son and him is a bloody loser.

He didn´t make me choose, and you could´ve been nicer to him.

-[ Telephone ringing ] -Hello?

MAN: Are you Ben Drayton´s father?

Yeah, I´m his dad.

MAN: You need to come and collect your son. He has nits.

What do you want us to do about it?

-MAN: If you could. Thank you. -Right.

Seems like Ben´s got nits,

and they want us to go pick him up from nursery.

Well, I can´t do it. I´ve got this stuff all over me.

Well, I´ve got to get ready for Micky´s service

-and sort your nanna out. -After you´ve picked him up,

can you get some nit stuff from the shop?

Thanks, Mam!

-[ Beep ] -WOMAN: Town, please.

-SUE: Call Louise. Call Louise! -The name, please.

-[ Speed-dialing ] -Call Louise!

-LOUISE: Hello. Adorable. -Oh!

Louise, it´s Sue.

Where is she? Is she in John´s office?

I´m two minutes away.

Don´t let her anywhere near my laptop.

Just say you don´t know the password...

...and don´t tell her that I´m coming in,

´cause I wanna see her face when I...

-[ Crash ] -Oh! Fuck!

Shit!

Um, gotta go, Louise.

See you in five.

Oh, you stupid bloody bitch!

Excuse me. There is no need for that.

You can´t just stop in the middle of a main road

-for no reason. -DRIVER: Traffic lights, love!

You don´t have to stop if there´s nobody crossing.

Have you got a license, love?! Have you taken your test?!

Of course I´ve got a driving license.

And will you stop yelling at me?!

-I want your insurance details. -And I want to see yours.

I wish you both didn´t have to go back.

I´m already dreading being on me own.

I´m gonna ring or text you wherever we are...

even if we´re at sea.

[ Door closes ]

-Oh, that you, Ryan? -Yeah.

-What happened at solicitor´s? -[ Sighs ]

Do you remember takin´ out a life insurance policy

three years ago for £90,000 upon death?

Yeah, I think so.

Your dad did it when we sold Grove Road and moved here.

At least that means you can pay the house off.

Yeah, but...

the solicitor says that if the inquest

decides Dad took his own life,

then you don´t get the full amount.

-You only get what you paid in. -What´s that?

-Which is how much? -2,070 quid.

No, that can´t be right.

What about the mortgage?

You owe 93,000 grand.

Seems like you haven´t paid anything off.

Yeah, we -- we definitely paid summat off.

But then we went onto interest only

when your dad got made redundant.

Believe me, you haven´t paid owt, Mam.

Look, I´ve just been through it with solicitor.

He says he´s gonna send you a letter to explain everything.

But if they decide it´s suicide,

then you´re gonna have to sell the house.

But where will I live?

STACEY: It´s just so great, guys.

Thank you so much.

-Can I just say something? -No, you can´t.

It´s quite clear to me that anyone who asks an innocent P.A.

to steal a personal contact list...

-I didn´t ask her to steal. -I´m speaking!

My personal contact list

that I have built up over years and years

of hard work and networking, gaining the trust,

-loyalty, and respect... -Sorry, but you´ve got...

-It was John´s suggestion. -"John´s suggestion"?

He said that all contacts made to this company

belong to Adorable.

Oh, did he, now?

-I wouldn´t... -Sue. Sue, you´ve...

But you´ve got...

Are you aware that Stacey, the trainee,

has asked for my personal contact list?

Will you keep your voice down and close the door?

I asked you a question.

Sue, just, you´ve got to try and understand

that our readership is down 30%.

Oh!

-Oh, I can hear violins playing. -We´ve got to try...

My heart is breaking all over again.

I´ve heard it all before, John.

I am not going to give a trainee my personal contacts list!

Stacey is not a trainee. She´s very bright,

She´s the average age of our readership,

and she´s the only one who´s brought in any new contracts

for the past three months.

Yes, because I´ve given her all the leads.

I´ve introduced her

-to everybody. -Nobody´s denying

how important you are.

That´s why I´d like to offer you a consultancy.

What the hell are you talking about?

You can work from home a couple of hours a week.

How can I be features editor doing a couple of hours?

I don´t know that I´ll need a features editor anymore.

I´ve never heard anything so ridiculous in all my life!

You´ve got a big birthday coming up, haven´t you?

Yes. 10 days after your very big birthday, John.

-It´s different for me. -And why´s that?

Because I own the company!

-We started it, you and me. -I know you think that.

SUE: I don´t think it.

I know it because it´s the bloody truth.

I´ve been here from the beginning.

Since Adorable was the three of us in an office.

I think this consultancy role would be

much less stressful for you, Sue.

What are you talking about? I´m not stressed!

Yes, you are! Look at you, shouting and bawling!

This is making me stressed!

She is causing me stress! Stacey Know-it-all.

Actually, Stacey is very intimidated by you.

It´s her birthday today. Did you bring her a card?

Are you gonna join us after work at Gino´s to celebrate? No!

Because I´m at Micky´s service in Leeds, and you know that.

You´re not a team player, Sue.

And you never look happy these days.

That´s nothing to do with my work.

That´s to do with you and me and the situation.

JOHN: Well, there´s nothing I can do about that.

When -- When Mark finally leaves home...

Oh, here we go again!

Yes, like when Jason went to university,

and we were going to re-evaluate.

And what happened? Nothing!

And when our son went to university,

you were gonna pay him a monthly allowance.

And you didn´t pay him a penny piece!

I had to put him through law school all by myself

-without any help from you! -For God´s sake,

keep your voice down.

Do you think they don´t know?

Everybody knows you´re a shit, John.

-Okay, okay. Fine. -Everybody.

I´m a shit, and everybody knows it.

But I have to think what´s right for the company.

What do you mean, "what´s right for the company"?

This -- This "Second Time Around" feature.

Well, what´s wrong with it?

What´s right with it?!

Brides-to-be don´t want to reading about second weddings

when they´re buying into

the whole "marriage is forever" malarkey.

I know that.

They buy our magazine because that´s the dream we sell.

I mean, who is that woman anyway?

She looks like she´s pushing 50.

So?

She´s not even attractive.

I think she is.

You don´t think she´s attractive

because she looks like she´s lived,

she´s got lines on her forehead, she´s real.

The point is, she doesn´t look like a bride.

Bridal mags are a young person´s business.

That is utter crap, and you know it!

I´m not going to argue with you.

You´re in one of those moods yet again.

Look, go to your friend´s funeral or whatever it is,

take a few days off, and think about this consultancy.

-I´m doing you a favor. -♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

Sue!

Can I just -- Can I just tell you?

-You´ve got -- -What?!

What have I got, Louise?!

You´ve got some concealer under your eyes.

[ Elevator bell dinging ]

-WOMAN: Door opening. -[ Gasps ]

[ Man speaking indistinctly on TV ]

-[ Microwave beeping ] -It´s dinging!

Yes, Mam. I´m doing it.

Mm.

[ Microwave door opens, closes ]

GAIL: [ Whistles ]

Oh.

He´s been scratching.

It´s just a prick and ding, but it´s beef stew and dumplings.

You like that.

Right, we´ve got to go.

God, you´re always in a rush. What about me tea?

You haven´t started your dinner yet.

Our Tom´s home, so he´ll be popping ´round

to see you tonight.

Oh, he´s no need to bother.

He ain´t visited me in ages.

-Not even on me birthday. -I told you --

He´s been away, Mam.

He´d have visited you if he was here.

He was trying to get some money together.

Be my funeral next,

and I don´t want to go in no furnace when I do.

I want a proper burial, with headstone and flowers.

GAIL: Yes, Mam. You tell me every week.

Right, you´ve got you remote, you´ve got your dinner,

and you´ve got your alarm, so I´ll see you later, hey?

If I´m still here.

Come on, love. Let´s go.

-[ Door opens ] -[ Sighs ]

-[ Door closes ] -Oh.

-Oh, is it Gail? -GAIL: Oh, hiya.

I´m sorry. I´m in a bit of a rush.

We´re a bit worried about your mum.

She went to the Black Horse pub last Thursday in her nightie.

Fortunately the landlord rang us.

She seems to be getting more and more confused,

and we don´t have the manpower here to look after her properly.

So, what are you suggesting?

[ Organ playing ]

GAIL: Come on, Ben. Have some of that.

Good.

-Very good. -DAVE: All right?

Oh, hiya.

Well, I didn´t know you were coming.

Yeah, Ryan rang and told me.

Bloody tragedy.

I, uh...

I got the decree nisi through this morning.

Yeah, I got mine.

Didn´t have to end like this, Gail.

All I wanted was to be put first once in a while.

-I did put you first. -You didn´t.

God, you gave all the money we´d been saving

-for Las Vegas to your Tom. -He needed a van.

He had no work, and he´s my son.

What was I supposed to do?

Anyway, he was just borrowing the money.

-He was gonna pay me back. -Oh, yeah. Right.

He could have bought a van himself

out of all the money he made from breakin´ stolen cars.

He didn´t know they were stolen.

Oh, yeah. Sure.

You´ve never liked him, have you?

You never gave the lad a chance.

Look, everybody knows he just takes you for a ride,

and you bail him out time and time again.

Just look at him, swanning around, laughing with his mate

while you´re left here holding the baby.

People feel sorry for you, Gail.

Well, they´ve no need to bother,

´cause I´m proud of our Tom

trying to bring up his son on his own

and if there´s any way I can help him, I will,

and it´s nobody else´s business but mine and Tom´s.

Uh, I heard you were selling time-share in Thailand.

I thought the bottom had fallen out of that market.

Yeah, yeah. Well, that was the problem.

The, uh, bottom´s fallen out of it,

so I decided it was time to do one and come home.

-So, are you still a solicitor? -Yeah, yeah.

I´ve been at Fairburn and Lupton´s

for almost four years now.

I spent a year in Thailand just after I qualified.

Where did you stay?

Oh, you know -- ´round and about.

The, uh, middle bit, really.

I´ll just have to make sure me mam´s all right.

Looks like her dickhead ex is hasslin´ her.

GAIL: It´s not been easy the last couple years,

what with me hot flushes and me mood swings.

And you could have put your arm around me once in a while.

I tried,

but you always thought I was hankering after summat else.

TOM: Mam!

Thought you were doing two years.

-Dave! -They let me out early

for good behavior.

So, where´s your girlfriend today?

Haven´t got a girlfriend.

Couldn´t she get time off school?

If you´re referring to Shelly, she´s just a friend,

and she´s at further ed college, not school.

[ Bell chiming ]

They´re here.

-Let´s get in. -GAIL: Hello, love.

Hello, Ruby, darling. I´m sorry.

-Are you all right? -Auntie Gail.

-Yeah. -Mwah.

Tom´s there. I´ll see you in a bit, Mum, yeah?

Oh, I don´t know.

I think I´m still in shock.

If there´s anything I can do.

Oh, thanks, love.

It´s good your Ruby and Ryan are here for you.

Yeah.

They´re still on compassionate leave.

I couldn´t have managed without ´em,

but they have to go back soon.

It´s a right bloody mess. He owed money everywhere.

-TOM: Oh, shit. -And me mam hadn´t a clue.

She´s hopeless without my dad.

I don´t know how she´s gonna manage.

Now I´m back, I can keep an eye on her.

She´s always got me mam.

RYAN: We thought at least insurance would cover mortgage,

but now we don´t even know if that´s going to happen.

We´ve gotta wait for inquest, and if it´s suicide,

then we´re up shit creek.

I just keep thinking, "If he did take his own life,

he must have been really desperate to do that."

And day after their anniversary...

-Hey. -LINDA: Oh, hello, there.

-GAIL: Let´s all go in. -RYAN: Let´s go in.

GAIL: The minute Dave started talking to me, that was it.

I started with me hot flush.

Yeah, I´m sorry about that.

I should have warned you Dave was coming.

Our Ryan did all ringing ´round.

I´d have done me hair if I´d known.

Do -- Do I look all right?

You look lovely,

but you´ve got a black trickle running down your forehead.

-Oh, my God! -Oh, give us it here.

Oh, my God. Oh.

What is it?

I tried to cover me gray up with mascara,

but it can´t have been waterproof.

Did you invite Sue?

Yeah. Ryan said he rung her mobile.

-GAIL: Oh. -Excuse me.

OFFICIANT: I didn´t know Micky very well,

but I know that Linda sings in our choir,

and both her children, Ryan and Ruby

were baptized in this church.

It´s always very difficult when someone takes their own life.

We don´t even know if it was suicide.

Should I say summat?

OFFICIANT: What drove him to it?

He might have.

OFFICIANT: Could we have done anything

to prevent it happening?

We surround them with our love

and pray for understanding and peace.

We are gathered here in their hour of need.

[ Door slams open ]

Oh. [ Gasps ]

I´m so sorry.

-OFFICIANT: Yes, yes. -So sorry.

OFFICIANT: Come in. You´re welcome.

SUE: Oh.

She always has to make an entrance.

OFFICIANT: Yes, have a seat.

ANDREW: Didn´t think you were coming.

Everything that could possibly go wrong this morning has done,

and then the bloody satnav took me to Heckmondwike.

-This is Natalie. -OFFICIANT: ...our lord

-and savior. -Hello.

-Lovely to meet you, Natalie. -If we now go to the next hymn

in our order of service.

[ Organ plays ]

I´m sorry I was late.

You wouldn´t believe what´s happened to me this morning.

At least you got here.

I wouldn´t have missed it for the world.

I think Micky would have wanted us all here.

You look amazing. I don´t know how you do it.

I look a mess. I was rushing.

Oh, but it´s so lovely to see you both.

The pair of you look fabulous, too.

I´ve put on half a stone on the cruise.

I feel like shit. I got divorced today.

Sorry. Well...

anyway, this must be your gorgeous little grandson.

-GAIL: This is Ben. -SUE: Ben.

-Hello. -SUE: Hello.

What a little poppet.

You´ve grown since I saw you last.

Would you like a grown-up flower?

That´s for you. [ Laughs ]

Is Ben´s mother still in...

Rehab? No, she´s out.

And with some other lad and basically doesn´t want to know.

Unbelievable.

I bet you spoil him.

Don´t have the money to spoil him.

I´m lucky if I have enough to pay the bills.

Tell me about it.

Well, it´s so lovely to see you.

LINDA: It´s been ages.

I kept trying to get us all together,

but you were always so busy.

I sent you a text, but you never got back to me.

It´s ridiculous. It´s, um...

It´s just life´s been so hectic.

Thanks for coming.

-ANDREW: Mum. -GAIL: I´ll take Ben outside.

Yeah, I´ll come with you.

Is that your car?

Yes. We traded the Bimmer in for the Merc.

It must be two years ago now.

Well, I think you better move it.

I did have a little incident on the way here.

Yes.

-Natalie´s nice. -Mum.

I didn´t say a word.

It´s just lovely to see you with someone.

-Oh. -She´s very attractive.

I take it you didn´t see the invite -- no flowers.

Well, everybody loves flowers.

I mean, I´ll just take them to the house.

Linda will love them.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Is that all you´re gonna eat?

I don´t do wheat or dairy. They make me bloat.

You look stick thin to me.

Spanx.

Debenhams or go online.

I decided after 50 I couldn´t hold it in anymore.

Haven´t you got another birthday comin´ up?

Yes, Gail. Thanks for that.

You´re still a baby in comparison to me and Linda.

I´d rather not think about it if you don´t mind.

-Aren´t you going to celebrate? -No, I´m not!

I´m gonna book myself in for a facelift and go into hiding.

But you look amazing.

I look like my mother.

I look in the mirror,

and I have absolutely no idea who´s staring back at me.

What I need is a large G&T and a cigarette.

-You don´t still smoke, do you? -Don´t lecture me.

I´ve tried everything -- vapes, patches,

chewing gum, nasal sprays.

None of them work.

I have a lot of stress running the magazine, meeting deadlines.

It´s the only thing that does it for me.

I wish I had your life.

It sounds so exciting.

Look at you. You´ve got a career.

I´m a lollipop lady.

You´ve got Tom, and you´ve got that sweet little boy.

I wish I had a grandchild. It must be lovely.

I keep waiting for Andrew to tell me he´s getting hitched,

and I´d love to plan a wedding for him.

Every time I mention it, he just tells me to stop interfering.

I think he´s terrified of commitment.

Does he ever see his father?

Good God, no.

Listen, I´m gonna get a drink and a fag outside,

and I won´t be long.

-Hi, Gail. -Hiya.

I´m thinking of having a surprise party for Mum.

Really?

She just told me she didn´t want a do.

It´s not really a do.

Just family and a few close friends.

No cards with numbers on them.

-All right, love. -I´ll keep you posted.

-GAIL: Thanks. -Are you okay?

I think so.

-How you doin´? -[ Sighs ]

I don´t know.

I keep looking ´round, thinking someone´s missing.

Then I realize it´s Micky.

[ Sighs ]

I thought the service would make me feel better,

but I feel worse.

I just feel guilty, like I really let him down.

No, you didn´t. Don´t be daft.

RYAN: Ladies and gentlemen, family and friends,

if I could just have your attention for one minute.

I´d like to thank you all for coming along today.

I´ve been going through a few of my dad´s things,

trying to deciding what to keep and what to chuck out.

He´d been keeping himself busy on a couple of projects

in his beloved shed.

So this one...

I think I´d like to share with you.

♪ ...valley low enough ♪

YOUNG SUE: I know it´s your wedding day, Linda.

-Oh, my God! -And you´ve followed everything

-in the "Perfect Marriage"... -Oh, it´s me!

And it doesn´t say anything in there

about the bridesmaids making an ass of themselves.

But we thought we would do it anyway.

TOGETHER: "But we thought we´d do it anyway"!

[ Laughter ]

-SUE: There she is. -Oh, look!

Do you remember your moves?

-SUE: No! -I´ve seen it all now.

Which way are you going?

[ Laughter ]

SUE: Oh, that one. Remember that?

-Oh, I think it was yours. -There´s Micky!

SUE: Oh, remember that one?

We were so young.

RYAN: Can you remember it?

TOGETHER: ♪ Ain´t no valley... ♪

Oh, bless you, Mum.

-LINDA: Ohh! -♪ Nothing can keep me ♪

♪ Keep me from you ♪

RYAN: It gets better, as well. It gets better.

[ Indistinct conversation ]

SUE: Oh! Look how gorgeous!

LINDA: Doesn´t he look nice?

RYAN: Wait for it. There´s an exciting bit.

GAIL: With me knees and everything...

RYAN: Wait. This is the bit.

[ Group "ohhs" ]

Go on, Mum!

[ Wolf-whistle, indistinct conversations ]

[ Women screaming ]

Hey, it´s me dad when he were thin!

[ Applause ]

Oh, no! No, he can´t!

-GAIL: What´s the matter? -Mum?

You all right?

MAN: It´s all right, that, isn´t it? [ Laughs ]

RYAN: It took me ages to get all that together.

MAN: [ Whispering ] Do you know what´s going on?

GAIL: Is she all right? What´s going on?

-Tell me. What is this? -My P.A.´s texting me.

He´s making Stacey Know-it-all features editor.

-Who are you talking about? -SUE: Nobody. Nothing.

She´s a trainee.

ANDREW: I thought you were the features editor.

SUE: The bastard´s trying to get rid of me.

He wants me to consult a couple of hours a week.

Consult? It´s your magazine.

A couple of hours a week is good.

No, it isn´t. Not if she doesn´t want to drop her hours.

She´s worked as hard as he has to build the business up,

She deserves to be treated better.

Absolutely. [ Groans ]

LINDA: He might be doing this for you.

I mean, none of us are getting any younger.

SUE: You speak for yourself.

I do facial Pilates, mindfulness,

and I take a million supplements every day.

But you can´t keep going at the same rate.

-You´ve got to slow down. -I don´t want to slow down!

I know what this is.

I did an article

about second-time-around marriages, and he hated it.

Did he actually say that to you?

GAIL: It was a brilliant idea.

When I married Dave, I had no idea what to wear.

I remember trailing ´round town with not a clue in me head.

He said bridal mags were a young person´s business

and there was no room for middle-aged women.

-No way! -ANDREW: He can´t say that.

-It´s against the law. -Well, he did.

That´s exactly what he said.

I mean, I think he was actually referring to the model,

but I got the distinct impression he meant me.

-Do you want me to speak to him? -God, no!

-I wouldn´t say who I was. -No.

I don´t want you involved. Oh, God.

Look, Linda, I´m sorry.

I´ll -- I´ll ring you.

Are you okay?

He does it to her every time.

I fucking hate the man!

She´s given up everything for him and that bloody magazine.

-I think she always thought -- -I know what she thought.

She was obsessed with him.

You´ve no idea what she´s sacrificed for that man.

She wouldn´t listen to anyone.

She thought he were gonna leave his wife,

and that were never gonna happen.

´Course it wasn´t, and now he thinks he can just chuck her

on the rubbish heap?

Well, he´s not gonna get away with it.

[ Breathing heavily ]

I´ll take the bastard to court.

You can´t do that, love. He´s your dad.

No, he´s not my dad.

I never had a father.

You have to earn that title.

I don´t even know the man.

I wanted to ring you, but the more I thought about it,

the more I realized it weren´t fair.

LINDA: Thanks for coming.

Look, I´ve got a kid, and I owe people money.

I just wanted to go get myself straightened out.

So you thought you´d bugger off to Thailand instead.

I had to find out from your mam.

You never texted, Facebook, nothing.

-I´m sorry. -And all that stuff

about not telling anyone we were seeing each other --

It was...

It was like you were ashamed of me.

No, it wasn´t that.

I was just tryin´ to deal with Corrine and get custody of Ben.

I have never been ashamed of you.

Ruby.

Come here.

STACEY: You have no idea how much plastic surgery they have.

-Really? -STACEY: Yeah.

JOHN: Stand by your beds.

I thought you´d taken the day off.

I didn´t want to miss the party.

So, what are we all drinking?

-Oh, mojito. -Stacey?

It´s all right. I´ll get these.

Um...

What are you playing at?

I´m not playing at anything. I´m doing what you asked.

I´m socializing with the staff.

JOHN: Can I have another jug of mojitos, please?

Of course. I´ll bring it over.

Oh, cheers.

I told you to take a couple of days off

-so you could think things over. -Yeah. And I´ve thought.

And I don´t want a consultancy.

I´m very happy being features editor, thank you very much.

Features editor is not an option.

-Why not? -Well, I...

Is this because of the "Second Time Around" article?

Or is it because you´ve already offered it to Stacey?

JOHN: Oh, don´t be ridiculous.

Don´t lie to me, John. This is me.

Do you remember us? How we were?

Of course! Yes, of course I do.

Look, I think you should go, and we´ll talk about this later.

-Later when? Tonight? -Right, so...

uh, if we´re staying, shall we get some tapas?

Have a look through the menu. We´ll order as many as you like.

-John? John? -I´m told the sardines are nice.

Why can´t I be features editor anymore?

I don´t want to discuss this right now.

Well, I´m not leaving until you do.

I have given 30 years of my life to this company

because I believed in it and I believed in you.

So I think you owe me an explanation.

-A jug of mojito. -JOHN: Great. Thank you.

I have no hobbies, no life outside of the company

apart from our son!

Why don´t you just give the man a break?

It´s okay, Stacey. I think, uh...

I think Sue´s a little emotional because...

My God! You two are screwing.

-Excuse me?! -Ignore her.

That´s why you want me out of the way,

and that´s why you´ve promoted her.

Please. Sue, you´re embarrassing yourself.

No, this is embarrassing myself.

No! Stop!

[ Patrons gasp ]

Oh! Oh!

I want your stuff out of the flat tonight.

I think you´ll find it´s my name on the lease.

And features editor is no longer an option

because you´re not in touch with our readers anymore.

You´re no longer relevant, Sue.

[ Crying ]

[ Sniffles, breathing heavily ]

[ Classical music plays ]

[ Woman singing operatically ]

Susan, darling, what a lovely surprise!

Mm!

How are you? You look...

I´m fine. I´m just...

It was Micky´s service today.

Gosh, you do look washed out.

Come through.

Look who´s come to see us, Frank.

FRANK: Huh?

Oh, well, well. This is a rarity.

Hi, Frank.

Uh, come in, come in. Sit down.

Uh, have you eaten? Can we get you anything?

BARBARA: She´s been to her friend´s memorial.

Remember? I told you. Micky was Linda´s husband.

Oh, yes, yes. Dreadful business. Poor girl.

They were in a pop group together.

-Ah! -Yeah, it wasn´t a pop group.

-We played at Greenham. -Ah.

So, what have you been up to, then, my dear?

Very busy. Juggling things as usual.

[ Breathes deeply ]

I thought I might take a little break.

-Mm. -Good for you.

Anyway, never mind me. What about you?

Oh, you know, the usual --

hospital visits, whist evenings.

All very boring. [ Chuckles ]

Oh, your mother does have one piece

of really rather nice news to tell you.

Frank proposed to me on my birthday.

-How sweet. -FRANK: [ Chuckles ]

I thought I ought to make an honest woman out of her.

Are you sure you won´t stay to supper?

We hardly ever see you.

No, I´ve gotta go now.

BARBARA: Are you angry about something, darling?

Actually, Mother, I´m really confused.

About what?

SUE: About why you´re marrying that man.

He´s 10 years younger than you,

and it was bad enough that you let him move in

without consulting either me or your grandson.

But if you marry him and anything happens to you,

he will inherit this house,

and it´s been in our family for generations.

But Andrew doesn´t want this house.

And you have your own life and your own flat in York.

It isn´t my flat, and, actually, I was thinking

about moving back in for a couple of months,

but, clearly, I wouldn´t be welcome

in your cozy little setup.

Of course you´d be welcome.

Don´t be silly.

Do you actually have sex with him?

No, don´t answer that.

I don´t want to know.

[ Vehicle locks disengage ]

-Susan! -[ Vehicle door opens, closes ]

[ Engine starts ]

[ Tires screech ]

I´ve been robbed of my inheritance, my career,

my flat...

...the man I have devoted over 30 years of my life to,

the man I thought I´d grow old with.

[ Sniffles ]

[ Voice breaking ] The man I love.

Yes, I still love him, the bastard.

I made a fool of myself in front of everyone.

[ Breathes deeply ]

And to top it all, I have pranged my car,

and I´ve got nowhere to live.

Not a good day, then, love.

I´m really, really lonely.

[ Sniffles ] I´ve got no one.

I´m in the wedding business, and I´ve never been a bride.

It´s sad.

My mother´s been married.

She´s getting married again, and she´s in her 80s.

It´s just not fair.

Do you want to get married?

Not really, no, but it´d be nice to be asked.

I wouldn´t bother. It´s not all it´s cracked up to be.

We hadn´t had sex in 10 months.

Why not?

I just didn´t feel attractive.

Lines on me face, me skin, me hair.

My knee is killing me.

I just want to feel like I used to feel.

I just want to feel wanted, desired.

Like you were young again.

Yeah, like I´m alive.

I didn´t think for one minute

he´d go through with the divorce.

And now it´s all over, and it´s all my fault.

Maybe I´m just a sex-starved, jealous, old bat.

Sex-starved and jealous maybe, but not old!

Oh, we have to strike that word from our vocabularies, girls.

Yeah, we´re valuable members of society.

-Yeah, too right. -The years we´ve spent

on this earth have given us a profound wisdom.

Like never taking a sleeping pill and a laxative

on the same night.

No, I-I won´t go there.

Anyway, it´s not all over. Not yet.

You´ve still got six weeks and a day before it´s final.

Really? Who says?

If you read your decree nisi properly, it´ll tell you.

I remember this from helping Andrew revise his law exams.

-Six weeks? -And a day.

So if you don´t want it to be all over,

you better do something.

I will.

I just don´t know what.

LINDA: [ Breathes deeply ]

I just keep thinking about Micky...

...and what my life´s gonna be like.

Come on, love.

Try not to think about it.

Put it out of your mind.

-You´re not on your own. -No, you´re not.

-We´re here for you. -Yes.

Do you know...

You know something? You two are my closest friends.

And I feel like I´ve neglected you.

-Oh, you´ve been busy. -Mm.

-No, that´s not good enough. -Oh.

-[ Vehicle door closes ] -Come on, let´s not get maudlin.

[ Vehicle door closes ]

To good friends.

-Good friends. -Good friends.

[ Knock on door ]

Oh, bloody hell.

-Hey. -Mwah.

Is there a Thomas Drayton at this address?

What do you want him for?

Who is it?

He´s broken his curfew bail conditions, love.

Shit! Tom!

Tom! Tom, where are you?

[ Police radio chatter ]

Tom! [ Knocking ]

Tom, where are you? Tom!

-Tom. -What do you...

MAN: Right, mate. You´ve broken your bail conditions.

-What time is it? -Get out!

-How could you be so stupid? -I´m sorry. I just forgot.

I´m sorry.

GAIL: You can´t just take him away like that.

-He didn´t mean to do it. -SUE: What the hell is going on?

[ Voice breaking ] It´s a misunderstanding.

[ Crying ]

-[ Gasps ] -Oh, love.

Darling?

I´m at Linda´s, and I´m staying here.

So you don´t need to worry about me.

I want you to come to the office tomorrow afternoon.

I think we should bring an age-discrimination action

-against John. -What?

What?! No! No, you can´t do that.

-Why not? -I can´t let you do that.

You have to do it, Mum.

You owe it to every other woman

that´s ever been dumped on the rubbish heap because of her age.

SUE: No, Andrew! Andrew!

-Glad you´re all right. -No, I can´t...

-I´ll ring you tomorrow. -I can´t let you do that.

-Night, Mum. -Andrew! No, wait.

-Oh. Oh. -[ Cellphone thuds ]

So, you´re going to bring a court action

against your biological father?

My mother is.

Are you sure it´s about her and not you?

Yeah.

Yeah, I´m sure.

And I´ve decided that if it really is

all over between them...

...I´m gonna tell her about us.

I thought we could all go to her birthday party

together as a family.

[ Grunts ]

Mm, I didn´t know which side you slept on.

Left.

I should warn you -- I snore sometimes,

particularly if I´ve had a drink.

Did you ring Andrew?

Yes. He wants me to take John to some kind of tribunal.

Well, he´d know best, being a lawyer.

You might get some compensation.

But it´s not about the money, Linda.

It´s about everything I´ve worked for.

All the worrying,

-sleepless nights. -[ Vehicle door closes ]

The elation when the job went well...

[Sighs]

and him...

John, in the middle of it all.

-I did it for him. -[ Knock on door ]

Who the hell´s that at this time?

-[ Florence meows ] -Oh, Florence!

[ Sighs ]

Oh! Are you trying to break me neck?

Hmm? [ Smooches, chuckles ]

Linda Hutchinson?

LINDA: Yeah.

-Who are you? -My name´s Carole Hardcastle.

Micky was talking to me on his mobile

when you pushed him overboard.

[ Spaghetti Western music plays, whistling ]

[ Men vocalizing ]