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1
00:00:02,120 --> 00:00:04,789
(both laughing)
2
00:00:04,790 --> 00:00:06,319
Jim, you didn't have to
get me all liquored up,
3
00:00:06,320 --> 00:00:08,689
all right? I prescribe
Zerplexa all the time.
4
00:00:08,690 --> 00:00:11,029
And everyone at
LifeBio Pharmaceuticals
5
00:00:11,030 --> 00:00:13,229
appreciates your support, Dr. Stokes.
6
00:00:13,230 --> 00:00:14,299
- (chuckles)
- Oh,
7
00:00:14,300 --> 00:00:16,799
hey, hey...
8
00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:18,330
Zerplexa pens.
9
00:00:18,340 --> 00:00:19,630
- Oh!
- (laughs)
10
00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:20,699
All right.
11
00:00:20,700 --> 00:00:22,239
This completes my collection.
12
00:00:22,240 --> 00:00:24,739
Now I have everything
from Adazol to Zerplexa.
13
00:00:24,740 --> 00:00:27,909
Let me ask you something:
have you ever crushed up
14
00:00:27,910 --> 00:00:31,009
some of those Zerplexa
pills and snorted 'em?
15
00:00:31,010 --> 00:00:32,510
No.
16
00:00:32,520 --> 00:00:34,019
Joking, I'm joking.
17
00:00:34,020 --> 00:00:36,580
(chuckles) That is no
laughing matter. I got to go.
18
00:00:36,590 --> 00:00:38,390
I got to go.
19
00:00:41,620 --> 00:00:43,020
Nice pen.
20
00:00:43,990 --> 00:00:45,289
Best part of being a doctor.
21
00:00:45,290 --> 00:00:46,459
- Really?
- No, actually,
22
00:00:46,460 --> 00:00:47,559
then there's the, uh,
23
00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:49,799
part when you meet
a hot woman at a bar
24
00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:52,199
and you get to tell her
you're a doctor.
25
00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:53,199
I'm a doctor.
26
00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:55,500
I'm Gretchen.
27
00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:07,350
Last night was amazing.
28
00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:14,650
You had sex with a senior citizen?
29
00:01:15,790 --> 00:01:19,890
Oh, what a delicious,
undoable mistake.
30
00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:22,499
How'd this happen?
31
00:01:22,500 --> 00:01:24,499
I'd had too much to
drink, it was dimly lit,
32
00:01:24,500 --> 00:01:26,569
and her makeup was Oscar-worthy.
33
00:01:26,570 --> 00:01:28,399
Will, it sounds like
you strapped on a pair
34
00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:31,539
of beer goggles and ran
straight into that cougar cage.
35
00:01:31,540 --> 00:01:34,011
I just want to forget this
whole thing ever happened.
36
00:01:34,012 --> 00:01:35,939
Oh, come on, what's the big deal?
37
00:01:35,940 --> 00:01:37,139
So you did a little...
38
00:01:37,140 --> 00:01:39,310
antiquing over the weekend.
39
00:01:40,250 --> 00:01:41,979
Oh, you might want
to check the mirror,
40
00:01:41,980 --> 00:01:43,319
you got a little gray curly
41
00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:44,850
stuck between your teeth.
42
00:01:55,000 --> 00:02:00,000
?Synced & Corrected by Seppuku17?
?www.addic7ed.com?
43
00:02:00,300 --> 00:02:01,599
Okay, are you people ready?
44
00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:03,199
Ah, there's my date.
45
00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:05,369
Wow, you look absolutely adequate.
46
00:02:05,370 --> 00:02:08,240
You look like a Kmart mannequin.
47
00:02:09,410 --> 00:02:10,679
I can't believe you guys are
48
00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:12,279
going through with this
whole fake date thing.
49
00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:14,349
Oh, I'm going through with it,
because knowing Linda Altman,
50
00:02:14,350 --> 00:02:15,710
she is only getting married
51
00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:18,680
so that I'm the last single
one from our sorority.
52
00:02:18,690 --> 00:02:20,819
Or she's actually in love.
53
00:02:20,820 --> 00:02:23,650
(scoffs) She'll do
anything to stick it to me.
54
00:02:23,660 --> 00:02:25,489
Well, I will not give
her the satisfaction
55
00:02:25,490 --> 00:02:26,889
of showing up alone.
56
00:02:26,890 --> 00:02:28,929
All right, first things first:
did you bring the Laker tickets?
57
00:02:28,930 --> 00:02:30,429
You will get the tickets
after the wedding,
58
00:02:30,430 --> 00:02:31,529
that was the agreement.
59
00:02:31,530 --> 00:02:33,260
Now let's go over our story.
We met in?
60
00:02:33,270 --> 00:02:34,799
- St. Barts.
- First dinner?
61
00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:37,130
- Fish tacos.
- And then we walked on the beach and...?
62
00:02:38,100 --> 00:02:39,639
Don't make me say it.
63
00:02:39,640 --> 00:02:41,809
Courtside, Will.
64
00:02:41,810 --> 00:02:43,970
I looked in your eyes
and felt a connection
65
00:02:43,980 --> 00:02:46,679
unlike any I had before,
it was magic.
66
00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:50,380
Wow, you two crazy kids
may just fake make it.
67
00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:53,849
So, first weekend away
from Charlie, huh?
68
00:02:53,850 --> 00:02:55,289
Beautiful Santa Barbara,
69
00:02:55,290 --> 00:02:57,219
nice hotel room.
70
00:02:57,220 --> 00:03:00,059
Too bad you're too pregnant
to actually have any fun.
71
00:03:00,060 --> 00:03:01,520
We're gonna have plenty of fun.
72
00:03:01,530 --> 00:03:02,729
We're gonna sleep in late,
73
00:03:02,730 --> 00:03:04,129
we're gonna order room service
74
00:03:04,130 --> 00:03:08,669
and knock out some medium-hot sex.
75
00:03:08,670 --> 00:03:11,969
Is that even, like,
physically possible?
76
00:03:11,970 --> 00:03:13,669
According to this book,
How to Have Sex
77
00:03:13,670 --> 00:03:15,639
- When You're Super Pregnant, yes.
- Oh.
78
00:03:15,640 --> 00:03:17,339
(phone chimes)
79
00:03:17,340 --> 00:03:18,809
Oh. Ah, my mom is
80
00:03:18,810 --> 00:03:21,009
- two minutes away.
- Great.
81
00:03:21,010 --> 00:03:24,010
Soon as we hear her broom
pull up, we'll hit the road.
82
00:03:30,150 --> 00:03:31,319
You guys,
83
00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:33,459
wasn't the ceremony
just so stunning?
84
00:03:33,460 --> 00:03:36,329
Meh.
85
00:03:36,330 --> 00:03:37,889
This must have cost a fortune.
86
00:03:37,890 --> 00:03:40,459
I am so glad Lowell and
I have been saving.
87
00:03:40,460 --> 00:03:42,760
Well, just think... the next
wedding we'll be at is yours.
88
00:03:42,770 --> 00:03:44,169
I know. (giggles)
89
00:03:44,170 --> 00:03:45,730
And most importantly,
90
00:03:45,740 --> 00:03:47,699
I'll be skinny by then.
91
00:03:47,700 --> 00:03:50,239
(all squeal)
92
00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:52,339
What's with the squealing?
Why do they squeal?
93
00:03:52,340 --> 00:03:53,639
'Cause it's a wedding.
94
00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:56,879
Women love romance.
It's like emotional porn.
95
00:03:56,880 --> 00:03:58,449
Hey, speaking of romance,
96
00:03:58,450 --> 00:04:00,649
don't say anything to Jules, but...
97
00:04:00,650 --> 00:04:02,619
I'm going to surprise her
with a couple of tickets
98
00:04:02,620 --> 00:04:04,149
to India tonight.
I'm taking her back
99
00:04:04,150 --> 00:04:05,789
to the place we first met.
100
00:04:05,790 --> 00:04:07,659
I once surprised Andi
with some new underwear
101
00:04:07,660 --> 00:04:09,559
before our agreed-upon
six-month deadline.
102
00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:11,229
Blew her mind.
103
00:04:11,230 --> 00:04:12,459
(phone dings)
104
00:04:12,460 --> 00:04:14,729
- But yours is good, too.
- Yeah.
105
00:04:14,730 --> 00:04:16,629
Oop. Got a text.
106
00:04:16,630 --> 00:04:18,169
Room's ready. Excuse me.
107
00:04:18,170 --> 00:04:20,130
Okay, just got a text.
108
00:04:20,140 --> 00:04:21,669
They brought our
bags up to the room.
109
00:04:21,670 --> 00:04:23,200
They even upgraded us
to a handicapped suite,
110
00:04:23,210 --> 00:04:25,369
so you can get in and
out of the tub easier.
111
00:04:25,370 --> 00:04:27,039
Nice.
112
00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:28,709
All right, let's go do it.
113
00:04:28,710 --> 00:04:30,079
- What, right now?
- Yeah,
114
00:04:30,080 --> 00:04:31,909
I figure we have 20 minutes
before the girl comes back
115
00:04:31,910 --> 00:04:34,949
- with the crab cakes, so let's go.
- Okay.
116
00:04:34,950 --> 00:04:37,549
- Katie.
- Linda.
117
00:04:37,550 --> 00:04:39,589
- Mwah, mwah.
- Mwah, mwah.
118
00:04:39,590 --> 00:04:41,350
So glad you could make it.
119
00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:44,120
I thought you'd be alone,
so I put you at the table
120
00:04:44,130 --> 00:04:46,030
with all the cool single ladies.
121
00:04:47,860 --> 00:04:50,260
Yeah, I RSVP'd plus one.
122
00:04:50,270 --> 00:04:53,029
I know, but with you it's always
here today, gone tomorrow.
123
00:04:53,030 --> 00:04:54,799
(laughs)
124
00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:58,939
Anyhey, I want you to
meet my eternal plus-one,
125
00:04:58,940 --> 00:05:02,009
- the love of my life, Michael.
- Pleasure to meet you.
126
00:05:02,010 --> 00:05:03,279
You may recognize him
127
00:05:03,280 --> 00:05:06,910
from the altar where he
said "I do". (laughs)
128
00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:09,419
Oh. (chuckles) And I would like you to meet
129
00:05:09,420 --> 00:05:11,680
the love of my life,
130
00:05:11,690 --> 00:05:14,389
and a doctor, Dr. Will Stokes.
131
00:05:14,390 --> 00:05:15,789
Hi. Will.
132
00:05:15,790 --> 00:05:17,959
Kate and I met in St.
Barts over fish tacos.
133
00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:20,130
We are very much in love.
134
00:05:21,730 --> 00:05:25,029
So, what does Michael do?
Does Michael save lives?
135
00:05:25,030 --> 00:05:27,869
He's in commercial real estate. (chuckles)
136
00:05:27,870 --> 00:05:30,469
I own a Taco Bell.
137
00:05:30,470 --> 00:05:32,669
So, saving lives,
138
00:05:32,670 --> 00:05:34,970
peddling tacos.
139
00:05:34,980 --> 00:05:37,779
Whoa! (chuckles)
140
00:05:37,780 --> 00:05:39,210
Let's go.
141
00:05:41,650 --> 00:05:45,549
Oh, your being a doctor
finally means something.
142
00:05:45,550 --> 00:05:49,250
Now get off.
143
00:05:49,260 --> 00:05:51,459
You know what I'm
thinking about right now?
144
00:05:51,460 --> 00:05:52,559
What?
145
00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:54,460
My mother.
146
00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:57,259
Bye, boner.
147
00:05:57,260 --> 00:06:01,929
I just wonder how she's
doing with Charlie, you know?
148
00:06:01,930 --> 00:06:03,400
I miss him.
149
00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:07,969
Hang on, we'll do it right
after I call my mother.
150
00:06:07,970 --> 00:06:11,140
Don't cross those wires.
151
00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:15,349
I believe this belongs to you.
152
00:06:15,350 --> 00:06:16,849
Oh, my God.
153
00:06:16,850 --> 00:06:19,849
What are the chances of
meeting two nights ago in L.A.
154
00:06:19,850 --> 00:06:23,650
and then here tonight at a
wedding in Santa Barbara?
155
00:06:23,660 --> 00:06:26,859
Slim to none.
156
00:06:26,860 --> 00:06:28,459
And yet here you are. (chuckles)
157
00:06:28,460 --> 00:06:30,459
What happened to you?
158
00:06:30,460 --> 00:06:32,729
I got out of the shower,
heard the door close,
159
00:06:32,730 --> 00:06:35,799
and then feet running
lightly down the hallway.
160
00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:38,530
Sprinting, actually.
161
00:06:38,540 --> 00:06:41,600
(laughing): Yeah, about that.
162
00:06:41,610 --> 00:06:43,569
I'm sorry, I...
163
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:45,170
The tr... The truth is...
164
00:06:45,180 --> 00:06:47,779
I have a girlfriend.
165
00:06:47,780 --> 00:06:49,309
I-I have a girlfriend,
and we'd broken up,
166
00:06:49,310 --> 00:06:51,549
but then I got a text
from her that morning,
167
00:06:51,550 --> 00:06:54,749
and I-I knew if I stayed,
I wouldn't be able to resist you.
168
00:06:54,750 --> 00:06:59,689
You're the irresistible one.
My God, that tongue of yours.
169
00:06:59,690 --> 00:07:01,289
(deep breath)
170
00:07:01,290 --> 00:07:04,460
I felt like I'd been
through a car wash.
171
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:07,999
This girlfriend, uh,
172
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,369
is it serious?
173
00:07:10,370 --> 00:07:12,369
Very serious.
174
00:07:12,370 --> 00:07:14,269
Too bad,
175
00:07:14,270 --> 00:07:16,409
because this could have
really been something
176
00:07:16,410 --> 00:07:18,070
if not for the girlfriend.
177
00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:20,939
If not for the girlfriend, yeah.
178
00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:23,750
Oh, well, life is cruel. Gotta go.
179
00:07:25,350 --> 00:07:26,449
Wait,
180
00:07:26,450 --> 00:07:28,219
you bought tickets to India?
181
00:07:28,220 --> 00:07:29,780
Surprise. I was gonna
wait to tell you,
182
00:07:29,790 --> 00:07:30,789
and then I thought,
183
00:07:30,790 --> 00:07:33,689
romantic occasion,
romantic gesture.
184
00:07:33,690 --> 00:07:36,389
Lowell, that is a lot of money,
185
00:07:36,390 --> 00:07:37,620
and I thought we agreed
186
00:07:37,630 --> 00:07:38,929
we were gonna save
for the wedding.
187
00:07:38,930 --> 00:07:40,490
Well, yeah, but, babe,
188
00:07:40,500 --> 00:07:42,529
imagine riding an
elephant to a waterfall
189
00:07:42,530 --> 00:07:46,269
and then making love
in that waterfall.
190
00:07:46,270 --> 00:07:50,169
Or... imagine having a wedding
191
00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:52,139
in a room with guests
192
00:07:52,140 --> 00:07:54,070
and a caterer.
193
00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:58,179
Okay.
194
00:07:58,180 --> 00:08:00,610
I've gotta say, that's not
the reaction I was expecting.
195
00:08:02,050 --> 00:08:03,419
So what do you want me to do?
196
00:08:03,420 --> 00:08:04,989
Just... do you want me
to return the tickets
197
00:08:04,990 --> 00:08:06,819
and just forget about the
romance, the elephant,
198
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:08,289
and the sex waterfall?
199
00:08:08,290 --> 00:08:11,259
Thank you for not making me say it.
200
00:08:11,260 --> 00:08:12,990
You're the best.
201
00:08:17,700 --> 00:08:21,399
So, did he pick his monkey
pajamas or his truck pajamas?
202
00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:24,139
Rocket ships?
203
00:08:24,140 --> 00:08:25,139
I did not
204
00:08:25,140 --> 00:08:26,209
see that coming.
205
00:08:26,210 --> 00:08:27,470
He didn't go with his
regular pajamas.
206
00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:31,779
And then what did he do?
207
00:08:31,780 --> 00:08:32,779
Aw!
208
00:08:32,780 --> 00:08:34,049
And then what did
he do after that?
209
00:08:34,050 --> 00:08:36,250
And did he do anything...?
210
00:08:37,620 --> 00:08:39,389
Hi.
211
00:08:39,390 --> 00:08:40,789
I'm Michael's friend, Simon.
212
00:08:40,790 --> 00:08:42,889
I couldn't help but notice you...
213
00:08:42,890 --> 00:08:45,089
sneering at the bride.
214
00:08:45,090 --> 00:08:47,659
Oh, no, see, that was, um...
215
00:08:47,660 --> 00:08:48,990
I swallowed an Altoid.
216
00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:51,160
Personally, I think Michael's
making a huge mistake.
217
00:08:51,170 --> 00:08:52,329
I loathe her.
218
00:08:52,330 --> 00:08:53,729
- I'm Kate.
- Hi.
219
00:08:53,730 --> 00:08:55,530
Why don't I get you a drink?
220
00:08:55,540 --> 00:08:57,199
A... vodka martini?
221
00:08:57,200 --> 00:08:58,239
How did you know?
222
00:08:58,240 --> 00:08:59,669
I can smell it on your breath.
223
00:08:59,670 --> 00:09:00,609
(laughs)
224
00:09:00,610 --> 00:09:02,970
I'll go get his attention.
225
00:09:02,980 --> 00:09:05,209
Hi. Uh...
226
00:09:05,210 --> 00:09:06,609
I got a little bit of a situation.
227
00:09:06,610 --> 00:09:08,250
I need you to go with me.
228
00:09:10,020 --> 00:09:11,149
The old lady? Gretchen?
229
00:09:11,150 --> 00:09:12,580
She's here.
230
00:09:14,150 --> 00:09:16,019
Well, that is an unfortunate
231
00:09:16,020 --> 00:09:18,559
but enjoyable-for-me coincidence.
232
00:09:18,560 --> 00:09:19,959
I told her I was in
233
00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:21,589
a serious relationship
with you, so...
234
00:09:21,590 --> 00:09:22,590
lay one on me.
235
00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:24,559
Oh, God...
236
00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:26,660
Look, you served your
purpose with Linda Altman
237
00:09:26,670 --> 00:09:27,729
and I'm very grateful,
238
00:09:27,730 --> 00:09:29,199
but I just met a cute guy,
239
00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:32,469
so now our fake relationship
is broken up for real.
240
00:09:32,470 --> 00:09:34,539
Hey, I was there
when you needed me.
241
00:09:34,540 --> 00:09:37,309
For Lakers tickets.
242
00:09:37,310 --> 00:09:38,979
Don't cloud the issue.
243
00:09:38,980 --> 00:09:40,709
We met in St. Barts.
We ate fish tacos.
244
00:09:40,710 --> 00:09:42,279
That's the story we're
sticking with, so get on board.
245
00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:43,749
Uh, hi, I'm Simon.
246
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:44,919
Who are you?
247
00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:46,019
No one.
248
00:09:46,020 --> 00:09:47,180
Get lost!
249
00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:57,630
ANDI: Okay, I'm sorry about that.
250
00:09:57,640 --> 00:09:59,300
I guess being away from
Charlie for the first time
251
00:09:59,310 --> 00:10:00,460
was a little harder than I thought.
252
00:10:00,470 --> 00:10:01,400
Will you hold this for a second?
253
00:10:01,410 --> 00:10:02,700
- Sure.
- Anyway, I promise
254
00:10:02,710 --> 00:10:04,070
I am not going to talk to my mom
255
00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:05,000
on the phone anymore.
256
00:10:05,010 --> 00:10:06,280
- Really?
- Mm-mm.
257
00:10:07,110 --> 00:10:08,340
Because she and Charlie
258
00:10:08,350 --> 00:10:10,110
are on their way over here.
259
00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:11,480
I booked them an adjoining room.
260
00:10:11,490 --> 00:10:13,580
Great.
261
00:10:13,590 --> 00:10:14,910
So now I'm paying
for two hotel rooms
262
00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:16,380
I'm not going to have sex in.
263
00:10:16,390 --> 00:10:18,120
Why don't we just go
home after the wedding?
264
00:10:18,130 --> 00:10:19,220
No, we can't.
265
00:10:19,230 --> 00:10:20,180
My mom's super excited
266
00:10:20,190 --> 00:10:22,090
for a weekend in Santa Barbara.
267
00:10:22,100 --> 00:10:23,590
She'd be super excited
268
00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:24,890
for a weekend in Afghanistan
269
00:10:24,900 --> 00:10:26,430
if she knew it'd make me unhappy.
270
00:10:28,630 --> 00:10:30,460
Whew.
271
00:10:30,470 --> 00:10:33,000
Oh.
272
00:10:33,010 --> 00:10:34,460
Well, look at that.
273
00:10:34,470 --> 00:10:36,870
Seated at the same table.
274
00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:41,000
Again, what are the chances?
275
00:10:41,010 --> 00:10:43,270
Again, slim to none.
276
00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:46,110
You know what I love
about this wedding?
277
00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:48,320
The bread sticks.
278
00:10:52,220 --> 00:10:54,320
Uh, there she is...
my... my girlfriend Kate!
279
00:10:54,330 --> 00:10:56,890
There you are, girlfriend Kate!
280
00:10:56,900 --> 00:10:59,450
Please, help. I am mildly
terrified of this woman.
281
00:10:59,460 --> 00:11:01,120
So, go home.
282
00:11:01,130 --> 00:11:02,690
I can't. You're my ride.
283
00:11:02,700 --> 00:11:03,960
Well, that is unfortunate for you,
284
00:11:03,970 --> 00:11:05,730
because I am staying
a very long time.
285
00:11:05,740 --> 00:11:07,100
I'm going to go dance with Simon.
286
00:11:07,110 --> 00:11:09,130
(quietly): No, you don't.
If you dance with Simon,
287
00:11:09,140 --> 00:11:10,630
it negates our relationship.
288
00:11:10,640 --> 00:11:12,770
We have no relationship.
289
00:11:12,780 --> 00:11:13,870
I'm not letting you go.
290
00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:15,940
Well, then, you leave me
no choice.
291
00:11:15,950 --> 00:11:16,970
(loudly): Will, it's over.
292
00:11:16,980 --> 00:11:18,840
I'm moving on,
and you should, too!
293
00:11:18,850 --> 00:11:21,110
Uh... but I love you!
294
00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:23,140
(whispering): I hate you.
295
00:11:23,150 --> 00:11:25,320
(groans)
296
00:11:27,390 --> 00:11:30,960
This time, it's your turn
to go through the car wash.
297
00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:34,920
- Cheers!
- (whoops)
298
00:11:34,930 --> 00:11:36,620
Yeah, to your smoking hot wife.
299
00:11:36,630 --> 00:11:38,160
So far, marriage has been awesome.
300
00:11:38,170 --> 00:11:41,160
My life is gonna be so
much more fun from now on!
301
00:11:41,170 --> 00:11:43,370
(laughing)
302
00:11:45,680 --> 00:11:46,970
What?
303
00:11:46,980 --> 00:11:49,070
I was right where you
are on my wedding day.
304
00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:50,200
Where are you now?
305
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:51,670
Well, seven years in,
marriage just isn't
306
00:11:51,680 --> 00:11:53,140
exactly what I
thought it would be.
307
00:11:53,150 --> 00:11:54,470
Oh, yeah? What is it?
308
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:55,680
Well, it's the triumph
309
00:11:55,690 --> 00:11:59,210
of responsibility over
spontaneity, no over yes.
310
00:11:59,220 --> 00:12:01,780
I mean, sure, you can try to
have a little fun on the fly...
311
00:12:01,790 --> 00:12:05,320
a last hurrah... but the kids,
the wife, the mother-in-law...
312
00:12:05,330 --> 00:12:06,520
they always win.
313
00:12:06,530 --> 00:12:09,020
One day, you wake up,
and you're just a man
314
00:12:09,030 --> 00:12:13,290
with two hotel rooms,
no sex life and a purse.
315
00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:16,100
Come on, let's go hit on
some drunk chicks. (laughter)
316
00:12:16,110 --> 00:12:18,310
Dude, I just got married.
317
00:12:26,510 --> 00:12:29,210
Lowell just told Jules that
he's having second thoughts.
318
00:12:29,220 --> 00:12:30,680
Part of me feels terrible.
319
00:12:30,690 --> 00:12:31,980
The other part of me feels like,
320
00:12:31,990 --> 00:12:34,450
wow, somebody actually
listens to me.
321
00:12:34,460 --> 00:12:35,810
Bobby, Jules is really upset.
322
00:12:35,820 --> 00:12:37,280
You've got to go talk to Lowell.
323
00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:38,650
You've got to go make this right.
324
00:12:38,660 --> 00:12:41,050
Okay. Can you at least
hold your purse while I go?
325
00:12:41,060 --> 00:12:43,530
No. I got to go get more food.
326
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,990
Excuse me, Miss?
327
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:52,810
This ginger ale is from
the gentleman over there.
328
00:12:57,940 --> 00:13:00,280
Weddings, huh?
329
00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:03,440
You alone?
330
00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:05,440
Apparently.
331
00:13:05,450 --> 00:13:07,810
A pretty lady should
never be alone.
332
00:13:07,820 --> 00:13:11,980
Hi. I'm Brandon Schwartz of
the Woodland Hills Schwartzes.
333
00:13:11,990 --> 00:13:14,190
Ooh.
334
00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:19,560
Tall stool.
335
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:24,840
(singsongy): What is
on your mind right now?
336
00:13:25,910 --> 00:13:28,170
Old spiders?
337
00:13:40,550 --> 00:13:42,550
Hey.
338
00:13:42,560 --> 00:13:45,150
I've been looking for you.
339
00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:52,340
You got to talk to Jules, Lowell.
340
00:13:52,350 --> 00:13:53,510
Yeah? And say what?
341
00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:56,920
I don't know. I'm sorry.
I made a mistake.
342
00:13:56,930 --> 00:13:58,380
I didn't mean it.
343
00:13:58,390 --> 00:13:59,520
You look skinny.
344
00:13:59,530 --> 00:14:00,950
You know, all the greatest hits.
345
00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:02,690
Is that what marriage is all about?
346
00:14:02,700 --> 00:14:05,160
Just telling 'em what
they want to hear?
347
00:14:05,170 --> 00:14:06,720
Pretty much.
348
00:14:06,730 --> 00:14:08,390
You know, it's just
the old Jules...
349
00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:10,190
she would have chosen
waterfalls and elephants
350
00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:12,430
over saving for a wedding.
I'm just...
351
00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:14,230
I'm worried she's changing.
352
00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:15,870
Well, you guys are getting married.
353
00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:17,900
Of course she's gonna
change. You both will.
354
00:14:17,910 --> 00:14:20,770
Yeah, but I don't want
to, and no offense, Bob,
355
00:14:20,780 --> 00:14:22,210
but I don't want your life.
356
00:14:22,220 --> 00:14:23,670
Okay, you're afraid of your wife,
357
00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:25,440
you bought a book
on how to have sex,
358
00:14:25,450 --> 00:14:27,620
and you're dancing with a purse.
359
00:14:30,090 --> 00:14:32,420
And then he tells me
we're going to India,
360
00:14:32,430 --> 00:14:34,650
like, out of the blue!
361
00:14:34,660 --> 00:14:36,950
- So, he just bought the tickets? Who does that?
- (scoffs)
362
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:38,920
Right?
363
00:14:38,930 --> 00:14:40,920
I mean, if we're
gonna be married,
364
00:14:40,930 --> 00:14:43,360
we have to make these
decisions together.
365
00:14:43,370 --> 00:14:45,260
- (sighs)
- I don't know.
366
00:14:45,270 --> 00:14:47,910
It just seems like it
shouldn't be this hard.
367
00:14:49,340 --> 00:14:50,730
Okay, let's take it wide.
368
00:14:50,740 --> 00:14:51,940
You know what I really
hate about people?
369
00:14:51,950 --> 00:14:53,640
When you say,
"Hi. How are you?" and...
370
00:14:53,650 --> 00:14:55,340
And they actually tell
you how they are!
371
00:14:55,350 --> 00:14:57,870
You're supposed to just
say, "Good. I'm good."
372
00:14:57,880 --> 00:14:59,310
- Yeah. It's an unwritten rule!
- Yeah.
373
00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:00,224
Okay, you know what
374
00:15:00,225 --> 00:15:01,889
- the absolute worst is for me?
- Tell me.
375
00:15:01,890 --> 00:15:04,350
When you get on a plane, and the
person sitting next to you...
376
00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:07,580
BOTH: Strikes up a conversation.
377
00:15:07,590 --> 00:15:11,250
I feel flush.
378
00:15:11,260 --> 00:15:12,720
(loud laughing)
379
00:15:12,730 --> 00:15:14,930
(laughing)
380
00:15:15,730 --> 00:15:19,460
Ugh! What is wrong with him?
381
00:15:19,470 --> 00:15:21,200
What?
382
00:15:21,210 --> 00:15:24,070
Nothing. Sorry. Not my problem.
Continue.
383
00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:26,270
GRETCHEN: Come on, come
on, come on, come on.
384
00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:28,600
(Kate groans)
385
00:15:28,610 --> 00:15:29,870
Will you excuse me?
386
00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:32,370
I just have a potential
catastrophe to deal with.
387
00:15:32,380 --> 00:15:34,240
- Um, just wait here, okay?
- Yeah, okay.
388
00:15:34,250 --> 00:15:35,580
You know what else I
hate about people?
389
00:15:35,590 --> 00:15:36,940
When they can't
hold their liquor.
390
00:15:36,950 --> 00:15:38,750
Will! Get over here!
391
00:15:38,760 --> 00:15:40,180
- Kate.
- (scoffs)
392
00:15:40,190 --> 00:15:42,680
- Wow, you look great.
- Ugh!
393
00:15:42,690 --> 00:15:44,890
Will, you cannot sleep
with this woman again.
394
00:15:44,900 --> 00:15:46,220
Why... Why not?
395
00:15:46,230 --> 00:15:48,920
Because, you take a car out
once, it's a test drive.
396
00:15:48,930 --> 00:15:50,660
Twice, it's a lease.
397
00:15:50,670 --> 00:15:51,960
And can you really see yourself
398
00:15:51,970 --> 00:15:54,330
in a Gretchen for the
next three years?
399
00:15:54,340 --> 00:15:56,060
GRETCHEN (singsongy): I am waiting,
400
00:15:56,070 --> 00:15:58,200
Willie.
401
00:15:58,210 --> 00:16:00,870
I'm coming, Gretchy.
402
00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:03,270
- (laughs)
- Hey!
403
00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:04,570
I want you back.
404
00:16:04,580 --> 00:16:06,740
I want to give us a
second chance, so,
405
00:16:06,750 --> 00:16:08,840
sorry, you're out.
406
00:16:08,850 --> 00:16:10,980
(scoffs) You said we were done!
407
00:16:10,990 --> 00:16:12,650
Hey!
408
00:16:12,660 --> 00:16:14,820
Does this feel like we're done?
409
00:16:16,030 --> 00:16:20,600
The good ones are always
either gay or dating a skank.
410
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:26,190
(grunts loudly)
411
00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:28,440
That was a cold shower.
412
00:16:29,370 --> 00:16:30,660
You're welcome.
413
00:16:30,670 --> 00:16:32,440
Now, if you'll excuse me...
414
00:16:33,310 --> 00:16:35,480
Simon?
415
00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:43,640
Did you eat my cake?
416
00:16:43,650 --> 00:16:46,650
Did you talk to Lowell?
417
00:16:46,660 --> 00:16:49,120
The answer to both
questions is yes.
418
00:16:49,130 --> 00:16:51,180
And?
419
00:16:51,190 --> 00:16:54,190
And he still has cold feet.
I'm sorry.
420
00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:55,850
Well, thank you for trying.
421
00:16:55,860 --> 00:16:58,420
I guess they're just gonna have
to figure it out for themselves.
422
00:16:58,430 --> 00:17:00,660
I'm also sorry for what
I said about marriage.
423
00:17:00,670 --> 00:17:01,760
No, I don't care about that.
424
00:17:01,770 --> 00:17:03,200
I complain about you all the time.
425
00:17:03,210 --> 00:17:04,300
You do?
426
00:17:04,310 --> 00:17:05,560
Oh, yeah! To the pool guy,
427
00:17:05,570 --> 00:17:07,170
to you while you're
sleeping, to the FedEx guy,
428
00:17:07,180 --> 00:17:08,930
to the guy that comes
and reads the gas meter.
429
00:17:08,940 --> 00:17:11,870
I think I got it.
430
00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:14,610
Honey, venting is a very
important part of marriage.
431
00:17:14,620 --> 00:17:16,010
You know, the resentment...
it just...
432
00:17:16,020 --> 00:17:17,480
It needs somewhere to go.
433
00:17:17,490 --> 00:17:20,810
It's like you can't have a
fireplace without the chimney.
434
00:17:20,820 --> 00:17:22,780
Speaking of things that
fly up the chimney,
435
00:17:22,790 --> 00:17:23,980
where's your mother?
436
00:17:23,990 --> 00:17:26,250
Well, Charlie fell
asleep in their room,
437
00:17:26,260 --> 00:17:28,720
so she's in ours
watching Pay-Per-View.
438
00:17:28,730 --> 00:17:30,550
Well, as long as she found a way
439
00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:33,360
to spend more of my money,
I'm happy.
440
00:17:33,370 --> 00:17:35,160
Want to dance?
441
00:17:35,170 --> 00:17:37,100
Sure.
442
00:17:37,110 --> 00:17:38,300
Oh, no.
443
00:17:38,310 --> 00:17:40,600
- This is gonna be a two-hand job, buddy.
- Okay, ready?
444
00:17:40,610 --> 00:17:43,380
Three, two, one.
445
00:17:50,020 --> 00:17:51,980
You're welcome.
446
00:17:51,990 --> 00:17:53,980
Thank you.
447
00:17:53,990 --> 00:17:56,390
Now go away.
448
00:17:58,190 --> 00:18:00,150
- You know what else I hate?
- (laughs)
449
00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:02,720
When you see a girl you
like kissing some guy,
450
00:18:02,730 --> 00:18:03,990
and it really bums you out
451
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,390
because you don't know the
whole story until that guy...
452
00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:06,760
who turns out to just be
her friend... explains...
453
00:18:06,770 --> 00:18:08,160
You know what I hate?
454
00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:12,240
When I'm waiting too long for
the guy I like to kiss me.
455
00:18:21,780 --> 00:18:25,520
Oy, when are they gonna
throw the bouquet?
456
00:18:33,620 --> 00:18:36,590
Well, hello there.
457
00:18:38,460 --> 00:18:40,420
Dr. Will Stokes.
458
00:18:40,430 --> 00:18:42,460
I'm a doctor.
459
00:18:42,470 --> 00:18:44,930
Such a pleasure.
460
00:18:44,940 --> 00:18:48,270
The pleasure... is all mine.
461
00:18:50,140 --> 00:18:52,480
A doctor, huh?
462
00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:58,910
Well, I'm sorry that I ruined
our romantic time together.
463
00:18:58,920 --> 00:18:59,970
Ah, you didn't ruin it.
464
00:18:59,980 --> 00:19:01,810
We can have it right
here right now.
465
00:19:01,820 --> 00:19:04,120
(water splashing)
466
00:19:07,990 --> 00:19:10,090
My water just broke.
467
00:19:10,100 --> 00:19:13,090
Oh, my God,
we're gonna have a baby!
468
00:19:13,100 --> 00:19:14,890
(laughs)
469
00:19:14,900 --> 00:19:16,560
Why is the floor all wet?
470
00:19:16,570 --> 00:19:18,190
Somebody needs to
come clean this up...
471
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:21,860
(screaming)
472
00:19:21,870 --> 00:19:24,030
Best night ever.
473
00:19:29,695 --> 00:19:30,740
(knocking)
474
00:19:30,790 --> 00:19:31,840
(baby cooing)
475
00:19:31,867 --> 00:19:33,490
Yeah, let him in.
476
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:42,650
Is that her?
477
00:19:42,665 --> 00:19:45,339
No, Will. That's a loaner.
478
00:19:45,340 --> 00:19:48,280
She's so beautiful.
479
00:19:48,290 --> 00:19:51,880
I usually find babies
gross, but this one...
480
00:19:51,890 --> 00:19:54,880
This one's okay.
481
00:19:54,890 --> 00:19:56,520
You want to hold her?
482
00:19:56,530 --> 00:20:00,460
Oh, no, I'll just take her
out for drinks when she's 16.
483
00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:08,060
God, she's... a miracle.
484
00:20:08,070 --> 00:20:11,970
I want to get married, and
I want us to have a baby.
485
00:20:13,610 --> 00:20:15,640
Oh, and I also want to make up.
486
00:20:15,650 --> 00:20:17,610
We should probably do that first.
487
00:20:18,450 --> 00:20:22,040
Um... I'm so sorry.
488
00:20:22,050 --> 00:20:23,440
What about all the stuff
489
00:20:23,450 --> 00:20:26,380
you said about spontaneity
and responsibility?
490
00:20:26,390 --> 00:20:28,110
Well, I've just
spontaneously realized
491
00:20:28,120 --> 00:20:29,820
I want to be responsible.
492
00:20:29,830 --> 00:20:31,420
Really?
493
00:20:31,430 --> 00:20:35,750
If it means having that
with you, then, yeah,
494
00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:38,100
really.
495
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:44,830
And how about we go to
India for our honeymoon?
496
00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:47,100
How about we make our
life a honeymoon?
497
00:20:47,110 --> 00:20:48,570
Totally. Our marriage doesn't have
498
00:20:48,580 --> 00:20:50,270
to be like Andi and Bobby's.
499
00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:51,640
No.
500
00:20:55,050 --> 00:20:57,346
Gosh, she's so cute.
501
00:20:57,347 --> 00:20:59,510
And you know who she looks like?
502
00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:03,365
Oh, please don't say your mother.
503
00:21:03,367 --> 00:21:04,241
Never mind.
504
00:21:04,242 --> 00:21:09,240
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