Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,723 --> 00:00:05,103
Amazing, right?
2
00:00:05,123 --> 00:00:08,485
I printed up new flyers for
our investment property.
3
00:00:08,505 --> 00:00:10,052
_
4
00:00:10,072 --> 00:00:12,720
Honey and I are signing off on the
final house renovations today,
5
00:00:12,740 --> 00:00:14,688
thanks to the money you gave us.
6
00:00:14,708 --> 00:00:17,329
_
7
00:00:17,349 --> 00:00:20,090
_
8
00:00:23,232 --> 00:00:25,830
I bought our Halloween costumes!
9
00:00:28,047 --> 00:00:30,822
It's B.A. Baracus from "The A-Team."
10
00:00:31,691 --> 00:00:33,165
Mr. T.
11
00:00:33,924 --> 00:00:34,809
The black guy.
12
00:00:34,829 --> 00:00:36,623
Oh. Well, you could just
say that, then.
13
00:00:36,643 --> 00:00:40,005
And you can be...
14
00:00:40,025 --> 00:00:42,060
- Mrs. T.
- What the heck is that?
15
00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:43,543
It's a bow-hawk.
16
00:00:43,545 --> 00:00:45,094
Why don't we see
what it looks...
17
00:00:45,145 --> 00:00:47,947
No. don't you dare.
I never dress up for Halloween.
18
00:00:47,949 --> 00:00:49,498
Why would this year
be any different?
19
00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:51,400
Because it's our first one
in the suburbs.
20
00:00:51,435 --> 00:00:53,319
Don't you want to experience
the one thing
21
00:00:53,353 --> 00:00:54,804
white people do better than us?
22
00:00:54,838 --> 00:00:57,740
Begging for candy in a disguise
to hide your shame?
23
00:00:57,774 --> 00:00:59,041
No, thank you.
24
00:00:59,092 --> 00:01:01,627
I think you just need
to see this bad boy in action.
25
00:01:05,799 --> 00:01:06,799
[Chuckles]
26
00:01:06,850 --> 00:01:08,801
Man, I wouldn't fight me.
27
00:01:08,852 --> 00:01:09,802
[Chuckles]
28
00:01:09,853 --> 00:01:11,470
[Sighs]
29
00:01:11,521 --> 00:01:13,889
S02E05
Miracle on Dead Street
30
00:01:13,940 --> 00:01:15,057
fresh off the boat
31
00:01:15,108 --> 00:01:16,942
I'm gettin' mine
everywhere I go
32
00:01:16,977 --> 00:01:19,078
If you don't know, homey,
now you know
33
00:01:19,112 --> 00:01:20,312
Fresh off the boat
34
00:01:20,363 --> 00:01:22,565
Homey, you don't know
where I come from
35
00:01:22,616 --> 00:01:24,116
But I know where I'm goin'
36
00:01:24,151 --> 00:01:25,298
I fresh off the boat
37
00:01:25,318 --> 00:01:27,482
sync and corrected by ninh
www.addic7ed.com
38
00:01:27,788 --> 00:01:29,488
Trent: We start on Pickwick Road.
39
00:01:29,539 --> 00:01:32,158
Those houses always come strong
with jawbreakers and fun dip.
40
00:01:32,209 --> 00:01:34,076
Then, we're on to the chocolate factory
41
00:01:34,127 --> 00:01:35,995
of Forest Avenue.
42
00:01:35,997 --> 00:01:37,663
All-day milky way.
43
00:01:37,714 --> 00:01:38,964
Eddie: I can't wait.
44
00:01:38,999 --> 00:01:41,667
I want to be knee-deep in candy
by the end of the night.
45
00:01:41,718 --> 00:01:44,503
I mean, like, for real...
that's what I want.
46
00:01:44,554 --> 00:01:46,505
Didn't your family
celebrate Halloween in D.C.?
47
00:01:46,556 --> 00:01:48,741
Yeah, but it was a little
different in Chinatown.
48
00:01:52,896 --> 00:01:54,346
Together: Trick-or-treat!
49
00:01:57,767 --> 00:02:00,819
I saw our bucket
on her fire escape a week later.
50
00:02:00,854 --> 00:02:02,738
She planted aloe vera in it.
51
00:02:03,740 --> 00:02:05,190
Let's talk costumes.
52
00:02:05,192 --> 00:02:07,076
Since there's a group of us,
53
00:02:07,110 --> 00:02:09,695
I think it's pretty obvious
who we should dress as...
54
00:02:09,746 --> 00:02:12,081
the greatest supergroup
of all time.
55
00:02:13,357 --> 00:02:15,084
The traveling Wilburys.
56
00:02:15,118 --> 00:02:16,535
- Nope.
- Who?
57
00:02:16,586 --> 00:02:17,870
Is that K.D. Lang?
58
00:02:17,872 --> 00:02:19,421
"Is that K.D."...
59
00:02:19,456 --> 00:02:21,123
guys!
60
00:02:21,174 --> 00:02:24,343
Bob Dylan, George Harrison,
Tom Petty, Roy Orbison,
61
00:02:24,377 --> 00:02:25,961
Jeff freakin' Lynne!
62
00:02:26,012 --> 00:02:28,797
I mean, there's five of them
and five of us. It can't miss.
63
00:02:28,848 --> 00:02:30,132
Yeah...
64
00:02:30,183 --> 00:02:32,468
I'm pretty sure I'm gonna do
my own thing for Halloween.
65
00:02:32,519 --> 00:02:34,887
Oh. And is your thing
a triple-platinum record?
66
00:02:34,938 --> 00:02:36,555
Because the Wilburys already did that.
67
00:02:36,557 --> 00:02:40,225
Nah! I'm going as Humpty Hump
from the digital underground.
68
00:02:40,227 --> 00:02:41,310
Okay.
69
00:02:41,361 --> 00:02:43,812
I love Burger King bathrooms!
70
00:02:45,531 --> 00:02:48,617
You and your guys
did such a good job, Jerry.
71
00:02:48,651 --> 00:02:50,369
[Laughs] [Sighs]
72
00:02:50,403 --> 00:02:52,371
We spent a lot of money
on this renovation,
73
00:02:52,405 --> 00:02:54,072
but it was worth it...
74
00:02:54,074 --> 00:02:56,825
especially the ceiling fan
in the bedroom.
75
00:02:56,876 --> 00:03:00,162
I will admit, once again,
how right I was about that.
76
00:03:00,213 --> 00:03:01,963
I also suggest
spraying for termites
77
00:03:01,998 --> 00:03:03,248
before you list the house.
78
00:03:03,250 --> 00:03:04,666
This is the guy I'd recommend.
79
00:03:04,717 --> 00:03:06,918
Right, okay. "Termites."
80
00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:08,804
I'm not spending more money
81
00:03:08,838 --> 00:03:11,506
to spray for magical bugs
that eat wood.
82
00:03:11,557 --> 00:03:14,426
I assure you, termites are r...
83
00:03:14,477 --> 00:03:17,345
looks like some termites just
got into your business card.
84
00:03:17,397 --> 00:03:20,148
You could've just
handed that back.
85
00:03:20,183 --> 00:03:21,766
All right, then,
I guess the only thing left
86
00:03:21,768 --> 00:03:23,802
is for you to sign off
on the final paperwork.
87
00:03:23,836 --> 00:03:25,303
Let me just go get it from my...
88
00:03:25,338 --> 00:03:26,404
Truck.
89
00:03:26,439 --> 00:03:28,173
[Jessica and honey squeal, laugh]
90
00:03:31,711 --> 00:03:32,961
Well, get it.
91
00:03:33,012 --> 00:03:34,596
I can't right now.
92
00:03:34,647 --> 00:03:36,181
[Eerie music plays]
93
00:03:36,232 --> 00:03:38,667
Teen boys... across the street.
94
00:03:38,701 --> 00:03:40,085
[Music continues]
95
00:03:40,136 --> 00:03:41,453
[Laughter]
96
00:03:41,487 --> 00:03:42,520
Nice walk!
97
00:03:42,522 --> 00:03:43,538
[Laughter]
98
00:03:45,124 --> 00:03:46,591
Hey! Hey! Nice neck!
99
00:03:46,626 --> 00:03:48,109
Oh! [Laughter]
100
00:03:48,144 --> 00:03:50,245
There's just something
about a group of teen boys.
101
00:03:50,296 --> 00:03:52,997
They can target
your exact insecurities
102
00:03:52,999 --> 00:03:54,549
and attack you
where you're most vulnerable.
103
00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:57,135
You're worried
about your hairline.
104
00:03:57,137 --> 00:04:00,138
Don't worry. Most women
don't care as much as you think.
105
00:04:00,189 --> 00:04:01,639
Why would you say that?
106
00:04:01,691 --> 00:04:03,224
This is crazy.
107
00:04:03,275 --> 00:04:05,527
There's nothing scary
about a group of sitting boys.
108
00:04:05,561 --> 00:04:09,063
I'll go get the paperwork
myself.
109
00:04:09,114 --> 00:04:10,115
Hey.
110
00:04:10,149 --> 00:04:11,199
Nice pants!
111
00:04:11,233 --> 00:04:12,200
[Laughter]
112
00:04:12,234 --> 00:04:13,318
Hey!
113
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:14,486
Shut your mouth!
114
00:04:14,488 --> 00:04:16,955
Nobody cares
what you have to say!
115
00:04:21,327 --> 00:04:22,494
That's how you do it.
116
00:04:22,496 --> 00:04:23,578
[Laughs]
117
00:04:23,629 --> 00:04:25,663
Look, I may not have
a full head of hair,
118
00:04:25,714 --> 00:04:27,248
but I got a full tank of gas,
119
00:04:27,299 --> 00:04:29,584
and I'd love to take you
to my Uncle's bar.
120
00:04:29,635 --> 00:04:30,635
Oh.
121
00:04:31,887 --> 00:04:34,005
Emery, Evan,
need a hand, please.
122
00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:35,139
[Grunts]
123
00:04:35,174 --> 00:04:38,226
That's how you blast
your biceps, Louis.
124
00:04:38,260 --> 00:04:39,260
[Grunts]
125
00:04:39,311 --> 00:04:40,895
Real-world strength.
126
00:04:43,265 --> 00:04:45,066
Dad? What did you do?
127
00:04:45,100 --> 00:04:46,684
I made the world my gym.
128
00:04:46,686 --> 00:04:48,987
No. Why'd you buy
all this Halloween stuff?
129
00:04:49,021 --> 00:04:50,154
We live on a dead street.
130
00:04:50,205 --> 00:04:51,155
Dead street?
131
00:04:51,157 --> 00:04:53,040
Ooh! Sounds scary. [Chuckles]
132
00:04:53,092 --> 00:04:54,258
No, dead...
133
00:04:54,260 --> 00:04:55,993
like no one trick-or-treats
in our cul-de-sac.
134
00:04:56,028 --> 00:04:58,896
All the action is two blocks
over, on Highland Avenue.
135
00:04:58,931 --> 00:05:00,231
How do you know this?
136
00:05:00,282 --> 00:05:01,966
The homeowners association.
137
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:03,734
We're meeting tonight
to discuss how early
138
00:05:03,769 --> 00:05:05,403
we should all
turn off our porch lights
139
00:05:05,437 --> 00:05:06,404
and head over.
140
00:05:06,406 --> 00:05:08,339
They're just gonna abandon
our street?
141
00:05:08,341 --> 00:05:10,308
On the best suburban holiday
of the year?
142
00:05:10,375 --> 00:05:14,579
I've been looking forward to this
ever since we moved out of the city.
143
00:05:14,630 --> 00:05:15,513
Louis: Hey!
144
00:05:15,547 --> 00:05:18,282
Who wants candy all night!?
145
00:05:18,333 --> 00:05:20,084
Aaah! Aah!
146
00:05:20,086 --> 00:05:21,836
Rock 'n' roll!
147
00:05:21,887 --> 00:05:22,770
Aah! [Chuckles]
148
00:05:22,821 --> 00:05:24,589
[Rapid footsteps]
149
00:05:24,623 --> 00:05:27,391
I need to speak
at the homeowners meeting.
150
00:05:27,426 --> 00:05:29,110
Evan, put me on the agenda.
151
00:05:29,144 --> 00:05:30,828
The day of?
152
00:05:30,862 --> 00:05:31,779
[Groans]
153
00:05:31,830 --> 00:05:33,030
I'll try my best.
154
00:05:34,132 --> 00:05:37,234
Looks like we can finally
list the house next week.
155
00:05:37,285 --> 00:05:38,786
The decor looks beautiful, Honey.
156
00:05:38,820 --> 00:05:40,037
Thank you!
157
00:05:40,072 --> 00:05:42,106
Nothing brightens up a home
like a bowl of fake fruit.
158
00:05:42,140 --> 00:05:43,591
I but a chiquita sticker
on the banana
159
00:05:43,642 --> 00:05:44,675
to help sell the illusion.
160
00:05:44,726 --> 00:05:45,810
[Chuckling] Nice.
161
00:05:45,812 --> 00:05:47,478
Oh, what's that?
162
00:05:47,529 --> 00:05:49,914
Somebody drew something
in the dust on my car.
163
00:05:49,965 --> 00:05:50,998
[Gasps]
164
00:05:51,049 --> 00:05:52,900
It's a rocket ship.
165
00:05:52,934 --> 00:05:54,018
Somebody is excited
166
00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:56,370
this neighborhood
is about to take off.
167
00:05:56,421 --> 00:05:58,172
I don't in that's a rocket.
168
00:05:58,223 --> 00:06:02,326
Of course it is. It's blasting
out of two smoke clouds.
169
00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:03,544
Yeah, I'm pretty sure
170
00:06:03,578 --> 00:06:06,931
that drawing is
something much more...
171
00:06:06,933 --> 00:06:08,282
genital.
172
00:06:08,316 --> 00:06:10,884
What?! No way!
It's a rocket ship!
173
00:06:10,919 --> 00:06:13,554
It's clearly squirting fuel
out of the top of...
174
00:06:13,588 --> 00:06:15,522
You know what? I see it.
I see it now.
175
00:06:15,574 --> 00:06:16,790
- Mm-hmm.
- Jordy: Hey!
176
00:06:16,825 --> 00:06:17,925
[Eerie music plays]
177
00:06:17,959 --> 00:06:19,343
Nice car!
178
00:06:19,394 --> 00:06:20,978
[Laughter]
179
00:06:22,147 --> 00:06:24,198
Time for some smacks.
180
00:06:24,249 --> 00:06:25,966
Oh! Jessica! No, no, no, no, no!
181
00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:28,085
You can't do that!
182
00:06:28,087 --> 00:06:29,436
This is happening, honey.
183
00:06:29,471 --> 00:06:31,355
This is not happening!
184
00:06:31,357 --> 00:06:32,823
Ohh!
185
00:06:32,857 --> 00:06:34,625
Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
186
00:06:34,676 --> 00:06:35,626
No! Give me that shoe!
187
00:06:35,677 --> 00:06:37,261
Aaaah! What are you doing?!
188
00:06:37,295 --> 00:06:38,345
Okay!
189
00:06:38,396 --> 00:06:39,763
- I'm okay.
- Okay.
190
00:06:39,765 --> 00:06:40,814
- I'm okay. I just...
- Okay.
191
00:06:40,849 --> 00:06:42,649
I just need to find
my pepper spray!
192
00:06:42,684 --> 00:06:44,735
Jessica, stand down!
193
00:06:44,769 --> 00:06:45,819
Stand down!
194
00:06:45,870 --> 00:06:48,122
I'm gonna get pepper
in your eyes!
195
00:06:48,156 --> 00:06:49,490
No, you're not!
196
00:06:49,541 --> 00:06:52,209
Stop it! No, no, no! No!
197
00:06:52,243 --> 00:06:53,660
Tic tacs to the face!
198
00:06:53,711 --> 00:06:56,413
Tic tacs in your face!
199
00:06:56,415 --> 00:06:58,582
We're done. We're done,
we're done, we're done.
200
00:06:58,584 --> 00:07:00,500
All right. Okay.
201
00:07:00,552 --> 00:07:02,302
Nice temper!
202
00:07:02,337 --> 00:07:03,587
[Laughter]
203
00:07:03,638 --> 00:07:05,005
Hey, just wait
till Halloween night,
204
00:07:05,056 --> 00:07:06,173
when we egg your house!
205
00:07:06,224 --> 00:07:07,674
Yeah, how do you like your eggs,
by the way...
206
00:07:07,725 --> 00:07:08,675
thrown?
207
00:07:08,726 --> 00:07:12,596
All: [Laughing] Ohhhh!
208
00:07:12,598 --> 00:07:14,314
[Panting]
209
00:07:14,349 --> 00:07:16,900
[Horn blares]
210
00:07:16,935 --> 00:07:17,985
Go around!
211
00:07:20,079 --> 00:07:22,745
You'd like us to arrest
a group of teenage boys
212
00:07:22,765 --> 00:07:25,100
who plan to egg your investment
property on Halloween?
213
00:07:25,151 --> 00:07:27,936
Correct. I am willing to pay for
the maximum punishment, please.
214
00:07:27,970 --> 00:07:29,771
That's not how the law works.
215
00:07:29,822 --> 00:07:31,573
This police force is worthless!
216
00:07:31,624 --> 00:07:33,141
Oh, come on. It's Halloween!
217
00:07:33,175 --> 00:07:34,976
Kids play silly pranks every year.
218
00:07:35,010 --> 00:07:36,845
Is Officer Bryson here?
219
00:07:36,879 --> 00:07:40,014
He's a family friend,
and he'll take this seriously.
220
00:07:40,049 --> 00:07:41,466
Bryson.
221
00:07:41,500 --> 00:07:43,167
Did my bow staff arrive?
222
00:07:43,219 --> 00:07:44,852
Oh. Hey, Jessica.
223
00:07:44,887 --> 00:07:46,354
You psyched for Halloween?
224
00:07:46,388 --> 00:07:48,339
They let me out of the sewers.
225
00:07:53,028 --> 00:07:54,862
So, as predicted,
226
00:07:54,897 --> 00:07:57,799
our community garden
was ransacked by squirrels.
227
00:07:57,833 --> 00:08:00,685
I urge us to replant with
the defensive countermeasures
228
00:08:00,719 --> 00:08:02,303
I suggested the first time.
229
00:08:02,338 --> 00:08:03,137
An owl?
230
00:08:03,172 --> 00:08:04,672
Yes, Deidre... an owl.
231
00:08:04,706 --> 00:08:08,793
They are ruthless and precise,
vigilant and wise,
232
00:08:08,844 --> 00:08:09,944
mother nature's top...
233
00:08:09,978 --> 00:08:11,779
Ladies, ladies, please.
234
00:08:12,425 --> 00:08:14,465
Let's move on to new business.
235
00:08:14,516 --> 00:08:16,651
[Clears throat]
236
00:08:16,702 --> 00:08:19,654
I know this is unexpected,
but I'd like to introduce
237
00:08:19,688 --> 00:08:21,889
a speaker who's not on the agenda...
238
00:08:21,924 --> 00:08:22,874
my dad.
239
00:08:22,925 --> 00:08:24,425
[Coughing] Nepotism!
[Pen clicks]
240
00:08:24,476 --> 00:08:26,577
Strike Alice's comment
from the record.
241
00:08:27,663 --> 00:08:29,397
Dad, the floor is yours.
242
00:08:29,995 --> 00:08:32,250
Uh, thank you.
243
00:08:32,284 --> 00:08:35,636
Um... I, uh, had
a big speech prepared,
244
00:08:35,671 --> 00:08:38,873
but since it's about Halloween,
I'd rather speak from the heart.
245
00:08:38,907 --> 00:08:41,125
Now, I realize Highland Avenue
246
00:08:41,159 --> 00:08:43,644
is the gold standard in the area.
247
00:08:43,679 --> 00:08:46,447
But I believe that we should
reject our past image
248
00:08:46,449 --> 00:08:47,615
as a dead street
249
00:08:47,666 --> 00:08:50,101
and build a Halloween
destination of our own.
250
00:08:50,152 --> 00:08:52,086
Half the people
who live on Highland Avenue
251
00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:53,254
are Disney imagineers.
252
00:08:53,256 --> 00:08:54,722
Halloween is their super bowl.
253
00:08:54,756 --> 00:08:55,690
Mm-hmm.
254
00:08:55,692 --> 00:08:57,158
Woman: Right.
255
00:08:57,192 --> 00:08:58,426
[Sighs]
256
00:08:58,460 --> 00:09:02,079
Look, Halloween isn't about
a bunch of imagineers
257
00:09:02,114 --> 00:09:03,831
spending a ton of money.
258
00:09:04,435 --> 00:09:05,182
No.
259
00:09:05,233 --> 00:09:08,386
It's about the one day a year
when you can lose yourself
260
00:09:08,420 --> 00:09:11,138
a-a-a-a-and... and create
a whole new identity.
261
00:09:11,189 --> 00:09:12,606
It's a chance to forget
262
00:09:12,641 --> 00:09:14,959
that we're a lower-middle-class
neighborhood
263
00:09:15,010 --> 00:09:17,611
living under the flight path
of the Orlando airport
264
00:09:17,662 --> 00:09:19,079
and trick people...
265
00:09:19,114 --> 00:09:20,131
[chuckles]
266
00:09:20,182 --> 00:09:22,049
Trick people...
267
00:09:22,083 --> 00:09:26,053
into thinking we're a scary,
upper-middle-class neighborhood
268
00:09:26,104 --> 00:09:29,290
that people would want to visit
and get candy from!
269
00:09:29,324 --> 00:09:32,860
Ladies, if we build it,
they will come!
270
00:09:34,062 --> 00:09:34,962
Ohhh!
271
00:09:35,689 --> 00:09:37,531
If we build it...
272
00:09:37,565 --> 00:09:39,833
They will most definitely come.
273
00:09:39,884 --> 00:09:42,269
[All cheering]
274
00:09:44,739 --> 00:09:46,724
Did you get that last part
from "Field of Dreams"?
275
00:09:46,775 --> 00:09:48,442
Greatest Halloween movie ever.
276
00:09:48,444 --> 00:09:50,210
That movie
is about baseball players.
277
00:09:50,261 --> 00:09:51,945
Ghost baseball players.
278
00:09:51,980 --> 00:09:52,813
Hmm.
279
00:09:52,815 --> 00:09:54,214
I'll allow it.
280
00:09:54,249 --> 00:09:55,215
[Pen clicks]
281
00:10:01,673 --> 00:10:03,273
Hey. Where's your lunch?
282
00:10:03,308 --> 00:10:05,292
We're not eating
before Halloween tonight.
283
00:10:05,343 --> 00:10:07,010
Our candy bags aren't that big,
284
00:10:07,061 --> 00:10:09,696
so we're making extra room
in our internal candy bags.
285
00:10:09,698 --> 00:10:11,515
I remember what it was like
to go trick-or-treating.
286
00:10:11,549 --> 00:10:13,433
- You don't trick-or-treat?
- No.
287
00:10:13,485 --> 00:10:14,568
I might've been
held back a year,
288
00:10:14,570 --> 00:10:15,886
but my friends
are in high school now.
289
00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:17,688
We're gonna spend Halloween
hanging in the park
290
00:10:17,722 --> 00:10:19,766
and seeing
if anyone can buy us booze.
291
00:10:23,812 --> 00:10:24,878
She's so cool!
292
00:10:24,913 --> 00:10:26,542
I bet she drinks zima.
293
00:10:27,799 --> 00:10:30,684
I thought we were coming
to school in our costumes.
294
00:10:31,919 --> 00:10:34,321
[As the mask]
Somebody shoulda stopped me!
295
00:10:34,355 --> 00:10:35,489
[Groans]
296
00:10:35,491 --> 00:10:36,957
Louis: All right, people.
297
00:10:37,008 --> 00:10:39,810
We got five hours before
the first toddler wave hits.
298
00:10:39,861 --> 00:10:42,496
We can do this!
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
299
00:10:42,530 --> 00:10:44,631
[Theme from "The A-Team" plays]
300
00:10:59,547 --> 00:11:01,615
Oh, yikes!
Terrifying spider, buddy.
301
00:11:01,649 --> 00:11:03,049
Thanks!
302
00:11:03,084 --> 00:11:05,669
You know, it reminds me
of the web of lies
303
00:11:05,703 --> 00:11:08,054
I told my ex-wife
before the divorce.
304
00:11:08,089 --> 00:11:09,790
[Laughs]
305
00:11:09,841 --> 00:11:11,291
[Chuckles]
306
00:11:11,342 --> 00:11:13,059
That guy.
307
00:11:14,729 --> 00:11:16,329
[Boys talking, laughing]
308
00:11:17,147 --> 00:11:20,600
Hello, disrespectful boys.
309
00:11:20,602 --> 00:11:23,453
I just bought all the eggs from
every store in the neighborhood,
310
00:11:23,504 --> 00:11:25,972
so unless you're friends with
a bionic chicken, it's over.
311
00:11:26,023 --> 00:11:27,843
You think we throw fresh eggs?
312
00:11:28,542 --> 00:11:30,076
We bought our supply weeks ago.
313
00:11:30,111 --> 00:11:31,678
They're nice and rotten by now.
314
00:11:31,680 --> 00:11:33,530
Then what are you
even here for?!
315
00:11:33,581 --> 00:11:35,115
Neosporin.
316
00:11:35,117 --> 00:11:37,717
Jordy scraped his knee
picking up his skateboard.
317
00:11:37,735 --> 00:11:39,368
Infections are no joke.
318
00:11:42,423 --> 00:11:44,257
Don't you ever ride
those skateboards?
319
00:11:44,259 --> 00:11:45,825
Nice question!
320
00:11:45,860 --> 00:11:47,210
[Laughter]
321
00:11:55,252 --> 00:11:56,767
Eddie, where's your costume?
322
00:11:58,239 --> 00:11:59,589
[Snaps fingers] Ross Perot.
323
00:11:59,623 --> 00:12:01,691
I'm Humpty Hump. You know?
324
00:12:01,725 --> 00:12:04,277
Shock g's alter ego
from the digital underground?
325
00:12:05,279 --> 00:12:06,930
Yyyes.
326
00:12:06,981 --> 00:12:08,314
Have you seen your brothers?
327
00:12:08,349 --> 00:12:09,916
[Eerie music plays]
328
00:12:09,918 --> 00:12:11,601
Oh! [Chuckles]
329
00:12:11,635 --> 00:12:14,153
Ooh! U.P.S. delivery lamb.
330
00:12:14,155 --> 00:12:15,154
Nice costume, Emery.
331
00:12:15,156 --> 00:12:17,123
You too, Evan... a lazy goalie.
332
00:12:17,157 --> 00:12:18,608
Scary... for your teammates.
333
00:12:18,642 --> 00:12:19,692
[Chuckles]
334
00:12:19,694 --> 00:12:22,428
We're obviously
"Silence of the Lambs."
335
00:12:22,479 --> 00:12:23,896
We knew he wouldn't get it.
336
00:12:23,898 --> 00:12:25,448
We talked about that. Remember?
337
00:12:25,499 --> 00:12:27,166
Come on, everybody!
We're leaving!
338
00:12:27,168 --> 00:12:29,535
Word, Mommy! It's candy time!
339
00:12:29,570 --> 00:12:32,455
No. We all need to go
to the investment property.
340
00:12:32,489 --> 00:12:33,272
What?!
341
00:12:33,307 --> 00:12:34,390
- No way!
- No way!
342
00:12:34,441 --> 00:12:35,575
[Doorbell rings]
343
00:12:37,111 --> 00:12:38,578
Hey, Eddie.
344
00:12:43,500 --> 00:12:45,518
Uh-oh.
We g another ninja, Trent.
345
00:12:45,552 --> 00:12:46,803
Who wore it best?
346
00:12:48,122 --> 00:12:49,505
I'm not wearing a costume.
347
00:12:49,540 --> 00:12:50,756
Ready to go, Eddie?
348
00:12:50,808 --> 00:12:51,958
Go ahead, Eddie.
349
00:12:51,992 --> 00:12:53,257
Have a great Halloween
with your friends.
350
00:12:53,277 --> 00:12:53,915
Yes!
351
00:12:53,935 --> 00:12:55,845
- And take your brothers with you.
- Awwwwww!
352
00:12:55,896 --> 00:12:57,730
- Yay!
- Yay!
353
00:12:57,732 --> 00:12:59,732
Go on. Deliver that goalie.
354
00:12:59,766 --> 00:13:01,217
[Chuckling] There you go.
355
00:13:01,268 --> 00:13:02,134
[Door closes]
356
00:13:02,136 --> 00:13:03,269
Louis, what are you doing?
357
00:13:03,271 --> 00:13:05,371
We have to go
to the investment property.
358
00:13:05,405 --> 00:13:06,622
It's about to be attacked.
359
00:13:06,673 --> 00:13:07,673
Attacked? By who?
360
00:13:07,708 --> 00:13:10,293
A group of tn boys
are going to egg it.
361
00:13:10,327 --> 00:13:12,211
[Chuckles]
Oh, that's no big deal.
362
00:13:12,246 --> 00:13:14,347
That's just
some fright night tomfoolery.
363
00:13:14,349 --> 00:13:16,566
Do you want
to be buried and dead?
364
00:13:16,616 --> 00:13:17,900
Because that's what we'll be
365
00:13:17,951 --> 00:13:19,952
if I have to repair a house
that I just fixed up!
366
00:13:19,954 --> 00:13:21,871
It's just a silly prank.
367
00:13:21,922 --> 00:13:23,789
Whatever those teenagers
do tonight,
368
00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:25,041
we'll clean up tomorrow.
369
00:13:25,092 --> 00:13:26,542
This is why I hate Halloween.
370
00:13:26,593 --> 00:13:30,179
People use it as an excuse
for bad behavior.
371
00:13:30,213 --> 00:13:32,298
You know what? Fine.
I'll just...
372
00:13:32,300 --> 00:13:33,849
I'll go defend the house myself.
373
00:13:33,884 --> 00:13:35,301
Oh, come o...
374
00:13:35,352 --> 00:13:36,302
[sighs]
375
00:13:36,353 --> 00:13:37,303
Jessi...
376
00:13:37,354 --> 00:13:39,271
[door closes]
377
00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:44,326
_
378
00:13:48,510 --> 00:13:51,140
This year,
Halloween fell on a weekend
379
00:13:51,191 --> 00:13:53,475
Me and geto boys
are trick-or-treatin'
380
00:13:53,510 --> 00:13:55,677
Robbin' little kids for bags
381
00:13:55,712 --> 00:13:58,797
Till an old man
got behind our ass
382
00:13:58,848 --> 00:14:00,833
My mind
is playin' tricks on me
383
00:14:02,318 --> 00:14:03,485
- Trick or treat!
- Trick or treat!
384
00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:05,787
Where's Waldo?
Uh, where's my candy?
385
00:14:05,789 --> 00:14:06,755
Right here!
386
00:14:06,757 --> 00:14:07,739
[Laughs]
387
00:14:07,774 --> 00:14:09,324
Ooh. Ooh.
388
00:14:09,326 --> 00:14:12,160
[Rattling]
Where in the
world is Diego San Francisco?
389
00:14:12,195 --> 00:14:13,739
[Chuckles]
390
00:14:13,759 --> 00:14:14,963
It's "Carmen San Diego."
391
00:14:15,031 --> 00:14:16,315
What is?
392
00:14:18,751 --> 00:14:19,968
[Chuckles]
393
00:14:26,743 --> 00:14:28,243
It's been a couple of hours.
394
00:14:28,277 --> 00:14:29,778
Maybe they're not coming.
395
00:14:29,829 --> 00:14:31,964
Oh, they're coming.
I can feel it.
396
00:14:32,015 --> 00:14:32,948
[Scoffs]
397
00:14:32,982 --> 00:14:34,449
Aren't you embarrassed?
398
00:14:34,451 --> 00:14:36,551
A grown woman dressed as a pig?
399
00:14:36,553 --> 00:14:38,020
I'm Miss Piggy.
400
00:14:38,071 --> 00:14:39,171
Kermit's girlfriend?
401
00:14:39,205 --> 00:14:40,422
Pigs don't date.
402
00:14:40,473 --> 00:14:43,146
Pigs feed a crowd
at a reasonable price.
403
00:14:43,618 --> 00:14:44,946
[Horn honks]
404
00:14:46,612 --> 00:14:49,915
Hi-ho! Kermit the frog here!
405
00:14:49,966 --> 00:14:51,817
Oh, look at that!
406
00:14:51,851 --> 00:14:54,536
Oh, even though your husband
is dressed like a lizard,
407
00:14:54,570 --> 00:14:56,004
he came to help us.
408
00:14:56,006 --> 00:14:58,607
Oh, he's actually here
to pick me up.
409
00:14:58,658 --> 00:15:00,458
We're going to a party
at the Millers'.
410
00:15:00,510 --> 00:15:02,741
We RSVP'd months ago. I'm sorry.
411
00:15:02,761 --> 00:15:05,863
Honey, we invested money
in this house! don't you care?
412
00:15:05,898 --> 00:15:07,332
I do care!
413
00:15:07,383 --> 00:15:09,417
It's just... It's Halloween.
414
00:15:09,451 --> 00:15:10,852
[Chuckles]
415
00:15:10,854 --> 00:15:12,820
I'm sorry.
Please don't be mad at me.
416
00:15:12,855 --> 00:15:14,005
I still love you a lot.
417
00:15:14,089 --> 00:15:16,257
I'm gonna kiss that frog!
418
00:15:16,291 --> 00:15:17,875
I'm gonna kiss that pig!
419
00:15:17,926 --> 00:15:19,811
Kiss her on her little snout.
[Giggles]
420
00:15:19,862 --> 00:15:22,213
If that's how
they keep their marriage fresh,
421
00:15:22,247 --> 00:15:24,032
no, thank you.
422
00:15:24,066 --> 00:15:25,933
Oh! don't sit on my banjo.
423
00:15:25,968 --> 00:15:27,034
Ha! I would never.
424
00:15:27,036 --> 00:15:28,002
[Laughs]
425
00:15:28,053 --> 00:15:29,904
[Indistinct conversations]
426
00:15:32,674 --> 00:15:34,358
[Sighs] This is great.
427
00:15:34,393 --> 00:15:35,776
[Chuckles]
428
00:15:37,179 --> 00:15:39,347
[Theme from "The A-Team" plays slowly]
429
00:15:46,171 --> 00:15:47,588
[Evil laughter]
430
00:15:47,590 --> 00:15:48,756
This is so dope.
431
00:15:48,807 --> 00:15:51,192
I have at least six
full-size candy bars in here.
432
00:15:51,194 --> 00:15:53,878
How come I keep getting stuck
with mini boxes of raisins?
433
00:15:53,929 --> 00:15:55,796
Maybe people want
to nurse you back to health
434
00:15:55,831 --> 00:15:57,365
'cause you're
a seasick gangster.
435
00:15:57,367 --> 00:15:59,967
Seriously? How do you not know
who I am?
436
00:15:59,969 --> 00:16:01,769
I know who you are...
Jazz Gumby.
437
00:16:01,820 --> 00:16:03,537
[Tires screech]
438
00:16:04,473 --> 00:16:07,158
Boys, get in the car.
We need to go help your mother.
439
00:16:07,192 --> 00:16:08,676
But we're still trick-or-treating!
440
00:16:08,710 --> 00:16:10,227
I want to be up to my knees
in candy.
441
00:16:10,262 --> 00:16:11,696
I'm not even
up to my ankles yet.
442
00:16:11,730 --> 00:16:12,813
Listen to me.
443
00:16:12,864 --> 00:16:14,582
There are two sides to Halloween.
444
00:16:14,633 --> 00:16:16,566
One is filled with cute costumes
and candy,
445
00:16:16,586 --> 00:16:19,333
and the other is
built on chaos and mayhem.
446
00:16:20,989 --> 00:16:22,573
Walter: Okay.
447
00:16:22,607 --> 00:16:25,142
Who's interested in some mayhem?
448
00:16:25,193 --> 00:16:26,944
[Exhales sharply] Okay.
449
00:16:26,979 --> 00:16:28,129
Jessica, you can do this.
450
00:16:28,180 --> 00:16:29,714
All is fair on Halloween.
451
00:16:29,716 --> 00:16:31,649
I could do a high stick to the face.
452
00:16:31,651 --> 00:16:32,700
[Tapping]
453
00:16:32,751 --> 00:16:34,919
I catch the egg,
I hose them down.
454
00:16:34,970 --> 00:16:36,621
I catch the egg.
455
00:16:36,655 --> 00:16:38,072
[Grunting]
456
00:16:38,123 --> 00:16:39,340
[Tires screech]
457
00:16:39,374 --> 00:16:40,725
This is it.
458
00:16:40,776 --> 00:16:43,994
[Theme from "The A-Team" plays]
459
00:16:45,297 --> 00:16:46,630
My family!
460
00:16:46,665 --> 00:16:47,631
They came!
461
00:16:47,666 --> 00:16:50,468
Mom! We're here!
We're gonna save you!
462
00:16:50,519 --> 00:16:51,602
[Tires screech]
463
00:16:56,057 --> 00:16:57,241
[Louis sighs]
464
00:16:57,292 --> 00:17:00,561
Little early with the door, Dave!
465
00:17:00,595 --> 00:17:02,980
What are you all doing here?
466
00:17:02,982 --> 00:17:05,883
Well, we planned to help you
fight off those teen boys,
467
00:17:05,934 --> 00:17:08,152
but that plan
has since been ruined.
468
00:17:08,154 --> 00:17:10,921
I'm sorry. My yardstick
got caught in the handle.
469
00:17:10,923 --> 00:17:12,640
Jeff friggin' Lynne.
470
00:17:12,691 --> 00:17:14,091
[Sighs]
471
00:17:14,125 --> 00:17:15,759
I thought you wanted
to celebrate Halloween.
472
00:17:15,794 --> 00:17:17,428
I did. [Chuckles]
473
00:17:17,462 --> 00:17:19,063
And it was
everything I hoped for...
474
00:17:19,065 --> 00:17:22,166
trick-or-treaters,
decorations everywhere.
475
00:17:22,168 --> 00:17:24,268
But one person was missing...
476
00:17:24,319 --> 00:17:25,502
Mrs. T.
477
00:17:26,141 --> 00:17:27,721
Who is Mrs. T?
478
00:17:28,890 --> 00:17:31,241
You. Remember?
479
00:17:31,243 --> 00:17:32,760
The wig I bought you with the bow?
480
00:17:32,811 --> 00:17:33,894
No.
481
00:17:33,945 --> 00:17:37,181
But it doesn't matter,
because I'm glad you came.
482
00:17:37,215 --> 00:17:38,599
It means a lot.
483
00:17:38,650 --> 00:17:39,817
[Chuckles]
484
00:17:39,851 --> 00:17:41,785
[As Mr. T] I pity the fools
who come after my wife!
485
00:17:41,787 --> 00:17:43,971
I hate this holiday.
486
00:17:44,889 --> 00:17:47,458
Uh, Dad, those teenagers
are still coming,
487
00:17:47,460 --> 00:17:48,959
and all our eggs are broken.
488
00:17:48,961 --> 00:17:50,144
What are we gonna do?
489
00:17:50,195 --> 00:17:51,895
[Normal voice]
We need to figure out a way
490
00:17:51,897 --> 00:17:54,932
to scare those punks so badly,
they'll never come back.
491
00:17:54,983 --> 00:17:57,584
What scares teenage boys?
492
00:17:59,504 --> 00:18:01,054
I know.
493
00:18:01,105 --> 00:18:02,706
[Mid-tempo music plays]
494
00:18:08,446 --> 00:18:10,013
Look out
495
00:18:13,451 --> 00:18:15,252
Hey, hey
496
00:18:18,089 --> 00:18:21,158
No doubt, we show no mercy
497
00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:25,835
Dan: Looks like the whole family
came to see the show.
498
00:18:26,170 --> 00:18:27,697
Happy Halloween, lady!
499
00:18:27,749 --> 00:18:29,082
[Laughter]
500
00:18:29,133 --> 00:18:31,218
Nicole: Nice costume.
501
00:18:31,269 --> 00:18:33,136
[Eerie music plays]
Who said that?
502
00:18:33,171 --> 00:18:34,337
I did.
503
00:18:36,090 --> 00:18:38,658
The scariest thing
to a teenage boy
504
00:18:38,693 --> 00:18:40,410
is a teenage girl.
505
00:18:42,597 --> 00:18:44,314
What are you girls, uh, dressed as?
506
00:18:44,348 --> 00:18:45,282
Dot worry about it.
507
00:18:45,316 --> 00:18:47,501
What are you tampons dressed as?
508
00:18:47,552 --> 00:18:49,352
Um, actually, we're from a movie.
509
00:18:49,354 --> 00:18:50,908
Who's this chimin'-in bitch?
510
00:18:51,677 --> 00:18:54,124
You scrotes think you're flowing
anyone with those clip-on ties?
511
00:18:54,158 --> 00:18:55,645
It's not a clip...
512
00:18:56,117 --> 00:18:58,228
These panty stains lying to us now?
513
00:18:58,279 --> 00:19:00,758
Drop the eggs, losers.
514
00:19:03,734 --> 00:19:05,268
If I hear about any of you 'ginas
515
00:19:05,319 --> 00:19:06,786
coming around this house again,
516
00:19:06,821 --> 00:19:08,905
me and my girls
are gonna come to your school
517
00:19:08,940 --> 00:19:12,525
and tell everyone
how you have tiny, little...
518
00:19:12,978 --> 00:19:14,678
rocket ships.
519
00:19:16,213 --> 00:19:18,214
None of this is worth it.
520
00:19:28,526 --> 00:19:29,442
Ohh!
521
00:19:29,493 --> 00:19:31,027
Leave him!
522
00:19:31,078 --> 00:19:33,113
Nice fall!
523
00:19:33,164 --> 00:19:34,614
Nice throw.
524
00:19:35,151 --> 00:19:36,866
How can I thank you girls?
525
00:19:36,868 --> 00:19:39,369
Wouldn't object if you
hooked us up with some zimas.
526
00:19:39,371 --> 00:19:41,871
She's kidding! She's joking.
[Chuckles nervously]
527
00:19:41,873 --> 00:19:44,207
Thanks for leaving the park
to come help us out.
528
00:19:44,258 --> 00:19:46,593
No worries.
We live for this stuff.
529
00:19:46,627 --> 00:19:47,927
See you tomorrow at school.
530
00:19:47,962 --> 00:19:49,712
Better save me some lemonheads.
531
00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:54,717
Well? What are you
standing around for?
532
00:19:54,768 --> 00:19:57,020
It's Halloween!
Let's go trick-or-treating!
533
00:19:57,054 --> 00:19:57,887
Really?!
534
00:19:57,889 --> 00:19:58,805
Fine. Let's just go home.
535
00:19:58,856 --> 00:20:00,773
No! Trick-or-treating! Let's go!
536
00:20:00,808 --> 00:20:02,308
[All cheering]
537
00:20:02,359 --> 00:20:03,326
All right!
538
00:20:03,360 --> 00:20:05,628
Hey! Someone needs to wheel me!
539
00:20:05,663 --> 00:20:08,064
Now I know how Grandma feels.
540
00:20:13,961 --> 00:20:17,246
This... feels... amazing!
541
00:20:17,297 --> 00:20:18,581
You know, if you eat
all that candy,
542
00:20:18,632 --> 00:20:19,935
you're gonna get sick.
543
00:20:19,955 --> 00:20:21,417
Then I'll take medicine.
544
00:20:22,836 --> 00:20:24,053
[Grunts]
545
00:20:25,217 --> 00:20:27,897
It's cool you chose Mr. T
as your costume, Dad.
546
00:20:27,917 --> 00:20:31,343
Did you know his hairstyle actually
honors his African warrior heritage.
547
00:20:31,363 --> 00:20:32,943
Someone wrote a paper.
548
00:20:32,963 --> 00:20:35,450
I read it on Snapple lid.
549
00:20:37,820 --> 00:20:40,649
This is as far as I'll go.
550
00:20:44,024 --> 00:20:46,531
Well, this Halloween turned out great.
551
00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:48,839
We no longer live on a dead street.
552
00:20:48,859 --> 00:20:50,099
The kids had fun.
553
00:20:50,119 --> 00:20:51,638
My feather earring stayed in.
554
00:20:51,762 --> 00:20:55,100
And the investment house is safe.
555
00:21:00,322 --> 00:21:02,816
sync and corrected by ninh
www.addic7ed.com
556
00:21:02,866 --> 00:21:07,416
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
38026
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
