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1
00:00:01,382 --> 00:00:02,882
Ah, I need to go on a diet.
2
00:00:02,917 --> 00:00:05,184
I feel like a sausage
in my jeans.
3
00:00:05,219 --> 00:00:07,186
Please. I can't even tell
you've had three kids.
4
00:00:07,221 --> 00:00:08,621
You can't, right?
5
00:00:08,656 --> 00:00:09,788
No.
6
00:00:09,824 --> 00:00:12,858
Oh, I was reading about
this new cabbage-soup diet.
7
00:00:12,894 --> 00:00:14,093
Oh! [Timer dings]
8
00:00:14,128 --> 00:00:15,661
Oh, friend time over.
Time for business meeting.
9
00:00:16,582 --> 00:00:17,426
_
10
00:00:17,519 --> 00:00:18,495
_
11
00:00:18,561 --> 00:00:19,973
_
12
00:00:20,091 --> 00:00:20,962
Bette Midler.
13
00:00:21,068 --> 00:00:22,534
Barbara Hershey.
14
00:00:22,570 --> 00:00:23,902
Okay.
15
00:00:23,938 --> 00:00:25,604
After some setbacks,
we're ready to
16
00:00:25,639 --> 00:00:27,539
put our investment property
on the market!
17
00:00:27,575 --> 00:00:28,707
- Yay!
- Yes!
18
00:00:28,742 --> 00:00:29,741
I'm excited!
19
00:00:29,777 --> 00:00:30,909
I know!
20
00:00:30,945 --> 00:00:33,111
So I just picked these up
from the printer
21
00:00:33,147 --> 00:00:35,347
for our open house on Tuesday.
22
00:00:36,612 --> 00:00:38,383
We look like a band of nurses.
23
00:00:38,419 --> 00:00:40,152
[Scoffs] We look hot.
24
00:00:40,187 --> 00:00:41,587
Oh, that reminds me...
25
00:00:41,622 --> 00:00:44,289
You know how people always have
cookies at open houses?
26
00:00:44,325 --> 00:00:46,258
Well, I was thinking
we should have
27
00:00:46,293 --> 00:00:48,093
mini quiches and bacon instead.
28
00:00:48,128 --> 00:00:49,561
Ah, but that sounds expensive.
29
00:00:49,597 --> 00:00:52,130
You know what?
Yeah, you're right.
30
00:00:52,166 --> 00:00:54,867
Yeah, we'll just put that
in the future file.
31
00:00:54,902 --> 00:00:56,168
Yes.
32
00:00:56,203 --> 00:00:57,436
And the next thing is,
33
00:00:57,471 --> 00:00:59,838
oh, I was reading about
these team-building workshops
34
00:00:59,874 --> 00:01:02,508
that companies do for morale
and problem-solving...
35
00:01:02,543 --> 00:01:05,110
Honey,
I appreciate your initiative,
36
00:01:05,145 --> 00:01:06,879
but I don't think
we have the money
37
00:01:06,914 --> 00:01:08,380
for nonessentials right now.
38
00:01:08,415 --> 00:01:10,582
Okay. That makes sense.
39
00:01:10,651 --> 00:01:14,219
Then there's just one more
item of business to discuss.
40
00:01:14,255 --> 00:01:16,588
Um, I noticed
in our monthly expenses,
41
00:01:16,624 --> 00:01:20,125
we spent $500 on
something called "madame x-ing"?
42
00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:21,393
Oh,
that's pronounced Madame Xing.
43
00:01:21,428 --> 00:01:23,325
She's my fortune teller.
44
00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:24,363
What?
45
00:01:24,398 --> 00:01:27,045
We need her. We can't
sell the house without her.
46
00:01:27,243 --> 00:01:31,370
Now, how much extra was it to
print these fliers in color?
47
00:01:31,405 --> 00:01:33,438
S02E09
We Done Son
48
00:01:33,474 --> 00:01:34,606
Fresh off the boat
49
00:01:34,642 --> 00:01:36,475
I'm gettin' mine
everywhere I go
50
00:01:36,510 --> 00:01:38,610
If you don't know, homey,
now you know
51
00:01:38,646 --> 00:01:39,878
Fresh off the boat
52
00:01:39,914 --> 00:01:42,548
Homey, you don't know
where I come from
53
00:01:42,583 --> 00:01:43,749
But I know where I'm goin'
54
00:01:43,784 --> 00:01:45,324
I'm fresh off the boat
55
00:01:45,482 --> 00:01:47,554
sync and corrected by ninh
www.addic7ed.com
56
00:01:48,715 --> 00:01:51,089
Sorry,
what is this fortune teller?
57
00:01:51,125 --> 00:01:53,392
I don't know
how to explain it to you
58
00:01:53,427 --> 00:01:55,294
if you can't get it
from the title.
59
00:01:55,329 --> 00:01:57,195
She tells fortunes.
60
00:01:57,231 --> 00:01:58,797
Why is she on our payroll?
61
00:01:58,832 --> 00:02:01,700
I've never made an important
decision in my life
62
00:02:01,735 --> 00:02:03,702
without consulting Madame Xing.
63
00:02:03,737 --> 00:02:05,980
Should I marry Louis?
64
00:02:07,141 --> 00:02:09,041
Should I get matching bangs?
65
00:02:11,011 --> 00:02:14,179
Should I give up secretly
wanting to be a ventriloquist?
66
00:02:16,817 --> 00:02:18,984
So, what'd she say?
67
00:02:19,019 --> 00:02:20,485
Madame Xing was right...
68
00:02:20,521 --> 00:02:22,888
The puppet theater boom
never came.
69
00:02:22,923 --> 00:02:24,389
I'm sorry.
70
00:02:24,425 --> 00:02:27,192
I just can't wrap my head around
71
00:02:27,227 --> 00:02:29,962
us spending $500 a month
on a fortune teller.
72
00:02:29,997 --> 00:02:31,897
It's just part of our culture.
73
00:02:31,932 --> 00:02:33,632
Consulting with a fortune teller
74
00:02:33,667 --> 00:02:35,734
is something
a lot of Chinese people do,
75
00:02:35,769 --> 00:02:38,303
like using the dishwasher
as a drying rack,
76
00:02:38,339 --> 00:02:40,372
or not saying "please."
77
00:02:41,642 --> 00:02:43,241
Here it comes, Trent.
78
00:02:47,181 --> 00:02:49,247
No shame in being beat
by a girl.
79
00:02:49,283 --> 00:02:50,782
I'm secure like that.
80
00:02:50,818 --> 00:02:51,783
Strike!
81
00:02:51,819 --> 00:02:54,022
We all know it's a strike,
Brian!
82
00:02:55,889 --> 00:02:58,223
I better get home, guys.
83
00:02:58,258 --> 00:02:59,758
See you Saturday, Eddie.
84
00:02:59,793 --> 00:03:01,126
See ya.
85
00:03:04,965 --> 00:03:06,365
Saturday is her birthday.
86
00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:07,733
What are you gonna get her?
87
00:03:07,768 --> 00:03:09,534
Ladies love haikus.
88
00:03:09,570 --> 00:03:11,803
Clever crafted word parties.
89
00:03:11,839 --> 00:03:13,305
Ladies love haikus.
90
00:03:13,340 --> 00:03:15,807
Nah, son.
I'm trying to impress my woman,
91
00:03:15,843 --> 00:03:17,342
not depress my woman.
92
00:03:17,378 --> 00:03:19,978
Why don't you get her a tube top
from the Delia's catalogue?
93
00:03:20,014 --> 00:03:22,014
I've got something
even classier in mind.
94
00:03:24,218 --> 00:03:27,052
Nice. Does it open, and can you
put a little picture inside?
95
00:03:27,087 --> 00:03:29,021
No, ma...
Why you got to point out
96
00:03:29,056 --> 00:03:30,288
what the necklace don't do?
97
00:03:30,324 --> 00:03:32,557
It's just a beautiful necklace.
98
00:03:32,593 --> 00:03:35,327
It better be for $49.99.
99
00:03:35,396 --> 00:03:36,662
How are you gonna pay for that?
100
00:03:36,697 --> 00:03:38,764
Oh, I got the loot.
101
00:03:38,799 --> 00:03:40,692
I'm really good at saving.
102
00:03:43,370 --> 00:03:44,636
$5?!
103
00:03:46,180 --> 00:03:47,139
[Sighs] Barry's coming?
104
00:03:47,174 --> 00:03:48,907
Only for a few days.
105
00:03:48,942 --> 00:03:50,542
He's got business in Orlando.
106
00:03:50,577 --> 00:03:52,344
I haven't seen him in years.
107
00:03:52,379 --> 00:03:55,280
Right, ever since you gave him
money for that vitamin business.
108
00:03:55,315 --> 00:03:58,316
I told you
nobody wanted vitamin "L."
109
00:03:58,352 --> 00:04:00,686
Vitamin Luscious
was before its time.
110
00:04:00,721 --> 00:04:02,587
He's a leech, Louis.
111
00:04:02,623 --> 00:04:03,722
Like a barnacle.
112
00:04:03,757 --> 00:04:05,090
Or a leech.
113
00:04:05,125 --> 00:04:07,426
Well, he's not perfect,
but he means well.
114
00:04:07,461 --> 00:04:08,727
And he's always liked you.
115
00:04:08,762 --> 00:04:10,662
Remember, he brought you
that nice basket of fruit
116
00:04:10,698 --> 00:04:11,930
the last time he visited?
117
00:04:11,965 --> 00:04:15,167
He gave me seven bananas
in a babygap shopping bag.
118
00:04:16,570 --> 00:04:18,837
Dad, can I start working at
the restaurant again?
119
00:04:18,872 --> 00:04:19,938
Of course.
120
00:04:19,973 --> 00:04:21,406
- And get paid?!
- Nope.
121
00:04:21,442 --> 00:04:23,842
With all the delays in your
mom's investment property sale,
122
00:04:23,877 --> 00:04:25,210
money's tight right now.
123
00:04:25,245 --> 00:04:27,479
If you really need money,
I saw a "help wanted" sign
124
00:04:27,514 --> 00:04:28,914
on the bulletin board
at the country club.
125
00:04:28,949 --> 00:04:32,184
Ooh, some ladies need assistance
putting lotion on by the pool?
126
00:04:32,219 --> 00:04:34,686
It's a family
new to the neighborhood,
127
00:04:34,722 --> 00:04:36,488
and they have a baby
and need help around the house.
128
00:04:36,523 --> 00:04:39,791
- Do I get to put l...
- No. No ladies need lotion.
129
00:04:39,827 --> 00:04:41,493
[Sighs]
130
00:04:41,528 --> 00:04:43,195
[Doorbell rings]
131
00:04:48,769 --> 00:04:50,102
DMX?!
132
00:04:50,137 --> 00:04:52,671
I prefer to be called Earl
when I'm holding my baby.
133
00:04:52,706 --> 00:04:55,874
Honey, I can't wait for you to
talk to Madame Xing yourself
134
00:04:55,909 --> 00:04:58,477
and see how important she is
to our business.
135
00:04:58,512 --> 00:05:00,712
Well, I always like to
keep an open mind.
136
00:05:00,748 --> 00:05:02,814
Like the first time I heard
about cream cheese,
137
00:05:02,850 --> 00:05:04,516
I was like, "blech!"
138
00:05:04,551 --> 00:05:08,386
Now, I'm all, "mmm, mmm, mmm!
139
00:05:08,422 --> 00:05:09,921
Can I get some bagel
with my cream cheese?
140
00:05:09,957 --> 00:05:10,889
You know what I'm saying?"
141
00:05:10,924 --> 00:05:13,058
It's tasty.
142
00:05:13,093 --> 00:05:14,226
[Telephone rings]
143
00:05:15,028 --> 00:05:15,827
Wei?
144
00:05:15,863 --> 00:05:17,496
Madame Xing, it's Jessica.
145
00:05:17,531 --> 00:05:20,699
I'm here with my business
partner, who I told you about.
146
00:05:20,734 --> 00:05:22,868
Ah, yes. The skeptic.
147
00:05:22,903 --> 00:05:25,170
You have to
ask Madame Xing a question
148
00:05:25,205 --> 00:05:26,471
that you want the answer to.
149
00:05:26,507 --> 00:05:27,739
Okay.
150
00:05:27,775 --> 00:05:31,042
Um, will the dolphins
make the playoffs?
151
00:05:31,078 --> 00:05:33,011
You should stop
watching football.
152
00:05:33,046 --> 00:05:35,380
It's not good for your heart.
153
00:05:35,415 --> 00:05:37,249
Heart disease runs in my family.
154
00:05:37,284 --> 00:05:38,250
How did you know that?
155
00:05:38,285 --> 00:05:40,519
You just got Xing'd.
156
00:05:42,086 --> 00:05:44,456
Okay, now that Honey believes,
we can move on to business.
157
00:05:44,491 --> 00:05:46,558
We're putting the house on the
market next Tuesday, and I...
158
00:05:46,593 --> 00:05:49,294
No. Don't put the house
on the market for three months.
159
00:05:49,329 --> 00:05:51,659
There's darkness
that needs to be cleansed.
160
00:05:52,239 --> 00:05:53,632
- Okay.
- Okay?
161
00:05:53,667 --> 00:05:56,301
And don't bet on the dolphins.
162
00:05:56,336 --> 00:05:58,103
Not with that secondary.
163
00:05:58,889 --> 00:06:00,305
[Click, dial tone]
164
00:06:00,340 --> 00:06:03,275
Oh,
it is so lucky we called her.
165
00:06:03,310 --> 00:06:05,343
We need to change the open-house
date on the fliers.
166
00:06:05,379 --> 00:06:06,745
You can't be serious.
167
00:06:06,780 --> 00:06:08,113
You heard Madame Xing.
168
00:06:08,148 --> 00:06:10,615
You don't take
any of my suggestions,
169
00:06:10,651 --> 00:06:13,585
but this fortune teller
makes one crazy statement,
170
00:06:13,620 --> 00:06:15,387
and you do it,
no questions asked?
171
00:06:15,422 --> 00:06:16,721
I value her opinion.
172
00:06:16,757 --> 00:06:19,089
And she values your money.
173
00:06:19,366 --> 00:06:22,427
500 bucks a month so she can
tell us about darkness,
174
00:06:22,462 --> 00:06:24,462
but mini quiches and a seminar
are wasteful?
175
00:06:24,498 --> 00:06:27,265
Don't blame me just because
your ideas are bad.
176
00:06:28,335 --> 00:06:30,235
You think you're so smart,
Jessica,
177
00:06:30,270 --> 00:06:32,704
but you're really just a sucker.
178
00:06:34,675 --> 00:06:36,541
Thank you for being honest.
179
00:06:36,577 --> 00:06:38,910
Now allow me to be honest.
It's over.
180
00:06:38,946 --> 00:06:40,579
What is?
181
00:06:40,614 --> 00:06:44,082
Everything... our friendship,
the business, book club,
182
00:06:44,117 --> 00:06:47,419
the sandwich punch card
we share... done-zo.
183
00:06:50,966 --> 00:06:52,298
Oh my god.
184
00:06:52,507 --> 00:06:53,706
Dmx!
185
00:06:53,741 --> 00:06:55,841
Dark Man X!
186
00:06:55,877 --> 00:06:57,510
You look older in person.
187
00:06:57,545 --> 00:06:59,311
Fatherhood ages you.
188
00:06:59,347 --> 00:07:00,679
I'm tired.
189
00:07:00,715 --> 00:07:01,881
Emotional.
190
00:07:01,916 --> 00:07:03,315
Crying. Yelling!
191
00:07:03,351 --> 00:07:05,818
All at the same
cotton commercial.
192
00:07:05,853 --> 00:07:08,120
It's the fabric of our lives, G.
193
00:07:08,156 --> 00:07:10,289
[Genesis coos]
194
00:07:10,324 --> 00:07:12,625
Man, I can't wait
to tell all my friends!
195
00:07:12,660 --> 00:07:13,793
Sorry, little man.
196
00:07:13,828 --> 00:07:16,128
I can't have you
blowing up my spot.
197
00:07:16,164 --> 00:07:17,329
I'm gonna need you to
sign and initial
198
00:07:17,365 --> 00:07:18,597
this nondisclosure agreement.
199
00:07:18,633 --> 00:07:21,467
It's the same one
Oprah used on Stedman.
200
00:07:21,502 --> 00:07:25,504
So... I can't tell anyone
I'm working for you?
201
00:07:25,540 --> 00:07:27,006
- Nope.
- Oh.
202
00:07:27,041 --> 00:07:29,141
So, what do you want me to do?
203
00:07:29,177 --> 00:07:30,843
Babyproof the living room,
204
00:07:30,878 --> 00:07:32,311
blend some peas for Genesis,
205
00:07:32,346 --> 00:07:34,613
and make sure to put lavender
drops in her cloth diapers.
206
00:07:34,649 --> 00:07:36,515
Why don't you just use
disposable diapers?
207
00:07:36,551 --> 00:07:39,202
'Cause I ain't trying to leave
some big-ass carbon footprint.
208
00:07:41,189 --> 00:07:43,022
I hope the couch
is gonna be okay.
209
00:07:43,057 --> 00:07:44,390
Aw, are you kidding me, man?
210
00:07:44,425 --> 00:07:46,692
We shared a twin futon
when we roomed up in Jersey.
211
00:07:46,727 --> 00:07:48,661
Remember that? Trying to
put a new vitamin out there.
212
00:07:48,696 --> 00:07:50,062
Testing it on ourselves.
213
00:07:50,098 --> 00:07:52,531
R-remember how you grew
that lustrous arm hair?
214
00:07:52,567 --> 00:07:54,800
[Laughing] It kept
getting caught on my watch.
215
00:07:54,836 --> 00:07:55,935
[Laughing] That's right.
216
00:07:55,970 --> 00:07:57,036
Uh-oh!
217
00:07:57,071 --> 00:07:58,404
Eddie, how you doing?!
218
00:07:58,473 --> 00:08:00,206
- I'm Emery.
- It's Uncle Barry.
219
00:08:00,241 --> 00:08:01,507
I've never seen you before.
220
00:08:01,542 --> 00:08:04,243
I wasn't born
when you were my dad's friend.
221
00:08:04,278 --> 00:08:06,579
You're raising kings, Louis.
222
00:08:06,614 --> 00:08:07,613
You're raising kings.
223
00:08:07,648 --> 00:08:09,048
Uh-oh!
224
00:08:09,083 --> 00:08:10,616
Lady J!
225
00:08:10,651 --> 00:08:12,451
We're not giving you any money,
Barry.
226
00:08:12,487 --> 00:08:14,386
Well, your hands look
soft and young, girl.
227
00:08:14,422 --> 00:08:16,155
[Door slams] She's kidding.
228
00:08:16,190 --> 00:08:18,390
She knows you're not here
to ask for money.
229
00:08:18,426 --> 00:08:19,725
- Right?
- Aw, come on.
230
00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:21,193
Barry's ballin' now.
231
00:08:21,229 --> 00:08:22,561
I sell new and used goods
232
00:08:22,597 --> 00:08:24,430
at a flexible price
for people worldwide.
233
00:08:24,465 --> 00:08:26,065
Good for you.
[Laughs]
234
00:08:26,100 --> 00:08:27,666
You know what?
Only in town for a few days.
235
00:08:27,702 --> 00:08:29,301
Then I'll be out of your hair
in no time.
236
00:08:29,337 --> 00:08:32,304
But as a token
of my appreciation...
237
00:08:32,340 --> 00:08:33,372
You ready?
238
00:08:33,407 --> 00:08:35,508
It's a wooden elephant
from Bhutan.
239
00:08:35,543 --> 00:08:36,775
Barry, you shouldn't have.
240
00:08:36,811 --> 00:08:38,444
Babar was based on him.
241
00:08:38,479 --> 00:08:41,514
Babar was a French elephant
who went on adventures.
242
00:08:41,549 --> 00:08:43,616
He we... he went to jail,
went to Hawaii.
243
00:08:43,651 --> 00:08:44,683
All those places.
244
00:08:44,719 --> 00:08:45,818
Wow.
245
00:08:45,853 --> 00:08:49,155
[Door opens, closes]
246
00:08:49,190 --> 00:08:50,289
What are you doing?
247
00:08:50,324 --> 00:08:52,424
I cut Honey off. It's over.
248
00:08:52,460 --> 00:08:53,726
But she's your friend.
249
00:08:53,761 --> 00:08:56,228
[Sighs] You know how I get
when somebody crosses the line.
250
00:08:56,264 --> 00:08:57,396
I can't forgive them.
251
00:08:57,431 --> 00:09:00,099
I know. I'm reminded every day.
252
00:09:00,134 --> 00:09:03,569
You probably don't even remember
why you cut these people off.
253
00:09:03,604 --> 00:09:05,871
That one went off-registry.
254
00:09:05,907 --> 00:09:09,041
That one tried to upstage me
with her hairdo.
255
00:09:09,076 --> 00:09:10,809
And that one married a man
wealthier than you.
256
00:09:10,845 --> 00:09:12,778
Why do you even
still have this photo?
257
00:09:12,813 --> 00:09:14,246
Because I look amazing.
258
00:09:14,282 --> 00:09:15,981
You know, if you keep
cutting people off,
259
00:09:16,017 --> 00:09:17,149
you're not gonna
have any friends.
260
00:09:17,185 --> 00:09:20,152
Well, I would rather have
no friends than too many.
261
00:09:20,188 --> 00:09:22,087
You could stand to
cut a few people off.
262
00:09:22,123 --> 00:09:23,489
One in particular.
263
00:09:23,524 --> 00:09:24,557
Jessica.
264
00:09:24,592 --> 00:09:26,525
You haven't seen Barry in years.
265
00:09:26,561 --> 00:09:29,662
He's an idiot, and you guys
shared a room in New Jersey
266
00:09:29,697 --> 00:09:30,896
for barely two months.
267
00:09:30,932 --> 00:09:32,531
Those were a crazy two months,
though.
268
00:09:32,567 --> 00:09:35,834
We invented a vitamin
and played tons of basketball.
269
00:09:35,870 --> 00:09:37,436
[Knock on door]
270
00:09:37,471 --> 00:09:38,737
Hi, Honey.
271
00:09:38,773 --> 00:09:41,941
My mom asked me to return the
things you left at our house.
272
00:09:41,976 --> 00:09:44,310
Do you believe this, Evan?
273
00:09:44,345 --> 00:09:47,446
Your mom's cutting me out of her
life like I'm nothing to her.
274
00:09:47,481 --> 00:09:50,115
I was told
not to engage with you.
275
00:09:50,151 --> 00:09:51,784
Okay.
276
00:09:51,819 --> 00:09:53,886
Fine.
277
00:09:53,921 --> 00:09:56,121
I'll just
give her back her things.
278
00:09:56,157 --> 00:09:57,356
You won't find anything.
279
00:09:57,391 --> 00:09:59,725
Chinese people
take care of their possessions.
280
00:10:01,762 --> 00:10:03,362
Be good to yourself, Honey.
281
00:10:03,397 --> 00:10:04,730
I always liked you.
282
00:10:08,269 --> 00:10:09,635
How did she look?
283
00:10:09,670 --> 00:10:11,270
Did she look sad?
284
00:10:11,305 --> 00:10:13,472
Actually, she looked great.
She jogs a lot.
285
00:10:13,507 --> 00:10:15,374
[Sighs]
Well, was anybody else there?
286
00:10:15,409 --> 00:10:16,742
Deidre? Carol-Joan?
287
00:10:16,777 --> 00:10:18,143
Was she having book club?
288
00:10:18,179 --> 00:10:19,612
I don't understand.
289
00:10:19,647 --> 00:10:21,146
I thought
she was your best friend.
290
00:10:21,182 --> 00:10:24,283
There is no such thing
as a best friend.
291
00:10:24,318 --> 00:10:26,719
That's just something
Hello Kitty made up
292
00:10:26,754 --> 00:10:28,420
to sell more Hello Kitty.
293
00:10:30,024 --> 00:10:31,757
[Bell ringing]
294
00:10:34,061 --> 00:10:35,561
Hey. Where you been?
295
00:10:35,596 --> 00:10:37,930
[Sighs] I haven't
seen you in forever.
296
00:10:37,965 --> 00:10:40,733
Oh, my God. You won't believe
what Becca G. Just ate.
297
00:10:40,768 --> 00:10:41,900
We're in the cafeteria...
298
00:10:41,936 --> 00:10:44,403
Babe, I just got to my locker.
299
00:10:44,438 --> 00:10:47,006
Can I please just have
two minutes to unwind?
300
00:10:47,041 --> 00:10:48,641
Yeah, of course.
301
00:10:48,676 --> 00:10:50,042
You seem tired.
302
00:10:50,077 --> 00:10:51,977
Are you not getting enough sleep
or eating enough protein?
303
00:10:52,013 --> 00:10:53,245
I just want to
put away my math book,
304
00:10:53,281 --> 00:10:55,047
clean out the cheez-its
from my bag,
305
00:10:55,082 --> 00:10:57,150
and say "what's up" to fat Joe.
306
00:10:58,019 --> 00:10:59,151
You're cranky.
307
00:10:59,186 --> 00:11:01,420
I'm working a lot, okay?
308
00:11:01,455 --> 00:11:03,155
I'm working... a bunch.
309
00:11:03,190 --> 00:11:05,090
I didn't know that.
Where are you working?
310
00:11:05,126 --> 00:11:06,692
- I can't tell you.
- Why not?
311
00:11:06,727 --> 00:11:09,695
Well, mom, I can't tell you.
312
00:11:09,730 --> 00:11:11,230
You know what?
313
00:11:11,265 --> 00:11:12,564
I don't like you like this.
314
00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:14,867
And for your information,
she ate a spider.
315
00:11:14,902 --> 00:11:16,068
Who did?
316
00:11:16,103 --> 00:11:17,269
Becca G.!
317
00:11:17,305 --> 00:11:18,404
Rebecca!
318
00:11:18,439 --> 00:11:20,372
Gonzalez!
319
00:11:20,408 --> 00:11:23,342
[Sighs]
320
00:11:23,377 --> 00:11:25,978
Barry: And she said, "there are
no nuns here by that name."
321
00:11:26,013 --> 00:11:28,380
Wait, she was "Sister Act"-ing you?
322
00:11:28,416 --> 00:11:31,150
Oh, see, you get me, Louis.
323
00:11:31,185 --> 00:11:33,085
- I do.
- Which brings me to this.
324
00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:35,054
Remember that idea I had about
325
00:11:35,089 --> 00:11:38,090
selling new and used goods
at a flexible price?
326
00:11:38,125 --> 00:11:39,491
Yes.
327
00:11:39,527 --> 00:11:41,627
Well, I'm trying to
find investors.
328
00:11:41,662 --> 00:11:43,095
Which is why I'm in town.
329
00:11:43,130 --> 00:11:44,963
And I figure,
why not bring my boy Louis in
330
00:11:44,999 --> 00:11:46,065
on the ground floor?
331
00:11:46,100 --> 00:11:47,466
Barry, I thought
you weren't going to
332
00:11:47,501 --> 00:11:49,168
ask me for money this time.
333
00:11:49,203 --> 00:11:50,536
Louis,
I'm not asking you for money.
334
00:11:50,571 --> 00:11:52,638
I'm asking you to invest in
a business.
335
00:11:52,673 --> 00:11:53,806
A viable business.
336
00:11:53,841 --> 00:11:56,575
Barry, we're sitting in
a business I'm invested in.
337
00:11:56,610 --> 00:11:58,143
- This is your place?
- Yes!
338
00:11:58,179 --> 00:12:01,880
Oh, in that case, I'll have
the tomahawk chop, medium rare,
339
00:12:01,916 --> 00:12:03,415
grill lines on both sides,
please.
340
00:12:03,451 --> 00:12:04,717
Who are you talking to?
341
00:12:04,752 --> 00:12:06,485
Whoever's in charge
of the chops.
342
00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:10,289
Okay, so is this used goods
thing a legitimate business?
343
00:12:10,324 --> 00:12:11,857
How many other investors
are there?
344
00:12:11,892 --> 00:12:15,194
Well,
no one has committed per se,
345
00:12:15,229 --> 00:12:17,162
but there are
some interested parties.
346
00:12:17,198 --> 00:12:19,698
Um, there's a frenchman
in New Delhi.
347
00:12:23,037 --> 00:12:24,069
That's it?
348
00:12:24,105 --> 00:12:25,137
Yeah.
349
00:12:25,172 --> 00:12:27,306
You and a frenchman in New Delhi.
350
00:12:27,341 --> 00:12:28,841
[Chuckles]
351
00:12:30,111 --> 00:12:34,580
And, surprise, Louis calls
and Barry's flight is delayed.
352
00:12:34,615 --> 00:12:37,216
I don't understand why he lets
this guy take advantage of him.
353
00:12:38,060 --> 00:12:40,786
Um, can we go to our room?
354
00:12:40,821 --> 00:12:43,315
We're halfway through
a lite-brite clown.
355
00:12:44,125 --> 00:12:47,860
Unless... You want to join us?
356
00:12:47,895 --> 00:12:50,057
No, no, you go ahead.
357
00:13:01,275 --> 00:13:03,943
[Applause]
358
00:13:08,282 --> 00:13:12,084
Just watching "Wheel"
by yourself, huh?
359
00:13:12,119 --> 00:13:14,019
You know, even back in D.C.,
360
00:13:14,055 --> 00:13:16,255
I never saw you
with any friends.
361
00:13:16,290 --> 00:13:17,489
Where are all your friends?
362
00:13:17,525 --> 00:13:19,458
_
363
00:13:19,873 --> 00:13:21,984
_
364
00:13:23,158 --> 00:13:23,929
Why?
365
00:13:24,158 --> 00:13:25,622
_
366
00:13:25,912 --> 00:13:27,917
_
367
00:13:28,036 --> 00:13:29,830
_
368
00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:30,965
_
369
00:13:31,057 --> 00:13:32,548
_
370
00:13:33,735 --> 00:13:34,567
Are you lonely?
371
00:13:34,698 --> 00:13:35,688
_
372
00:13:35,743 --> 00:13:36,542
Yes, you do.
373
00:13:36,799 --> 00:13:39,029
_
374
00:13:39,543 --> 00:13:41,562
_
375
00:13:42,010 --> 00:13:43,672
_
376
00:13:45,203 --> 00:13:47,753
[Knock on door]
377
00:13:48,778 --> 00:13:51,023
So, you were saying?
378
00:13:51,825 --> 00:13:53,392
Excuse me?
379
00:13:53,427 --> 00:13:55,628
Earlier, you were
saying something about
380
00:13:55,663 --> 00:13:57,229
a cabbage-soup diet?
381
00:13:57,265 --> 00:13:58,697
Are... are you seriously
trying to act like
382
00:13:58,733 --> 00:14:00,399
you didn't just
end our friendship?
383
00:14:00,434 --> 00:14:01,834
I decided to forgive you.
384
00:14:01,869 --> 00:14:03,068
[Laughs]
385
00:14:03,104 --> 00:14:05,271
Well, I don't forgive you.
386
00:14:05,306 --> 00:14:07,539
You were dismissive
of all of my ideas.
387
00:14:07,575 --> 00:14:09,775
You dropped me
without a second thought.
388
00:14:09,810 --> 00:14:12,011
You sent your son
to return my things.
389
00:14:12,046 --> 00:14:14,580
And... and... and one thing's
not even mine!
390
00:14:15,219 --> 00:14:16,148
What is this?
391
00:14:16,183 --> 00:14:17,783
I-is this some sort of warning?
392
00:14:17,818 --> 00:14:19,184
Okay, fine.
393
00:14:19,220 --> 00:14:22,521
We can do your mini quiches
and bacon.
394
00:14:22,556 --> 00:14:24,657
But no team-trust-falls
workshop.
395
00:14:24,692 --> 00:14:26,792
If I fall on somebody,
I want them to die.
396
00:14:26,827 --> 00:14:30,162
Jessica, I am tired of you
not treating me like an equal.
397
00:14:30,197 --> 00:14:32,158
I can flip houses on my own.
398
00:14:32,554 --> 00:14:34,033
You were right.
399
00:14:34,651 --> 00:14:36,353
We're done-zo.
400
00:14:41,545 --> 00:14:43,512
[Genesis fussing]
401
00:14:44,114 --> 00:14:45,280
It's okay.
402
00:14:45,315 --> 00:14:46,915
Can you organize these booties,
please?
403
00:14:48,452 --> 00:14:49,851
What's with the frown, B.?
404
00:14:49,887 --> 00:14:51,920
You know I can't have that
negative energy around Genesis.
405
00:14:51,955 --> 00:14:54,022
Girl trouble.
406
00:14:54,058 --> 00:14:55,157
Extrapolate.
407
00:14:55,192 --> 00:14:56,558
Her birthday's on Saturday,
408
00:14:56,593 --> 00:14:58,560
and that's the only reason
why I took this job...
409
00:14:58,595 --> 00:15:00,062
So I can get her this.
410
00:15:01,165 --> 00:15:03,732
Yo! Is that one of those
necklaces that sing?
411
00:15:03,767 --> 00:15:05,967
Why's everybody got to talk about
what the necklace don't do?!
412
00:15:06,003 --> 00:15:08,670
Anyway, she might not even
be my girlfriend anymore.
413
00:15:08,705 --> 00:15:10,672
I'm working so much,
I don't see her.
414
00:15:10,707 --> 00:15:12,441
And when I do, I'm too tired.
415
00:15:12,476 --> 00:15:14,709
And I can't tell her why
because of your Oprah muzzle.
416
00:15:14,745 --> 00:15:17,245
I know what you need...
To chill.
417
00:15:17,281 --> 00:15:19,414
Let's take a trip
out to my greenhouse.
418
00:15:20,618 --> 00:15:21,850
Yeah
419
00:15:21,886 --> 00:15:23,819
Welcome to
my horticultural wonderland
420
00:15:23,854 --> 00:15:26,154
of rare and exotic orchids.
421
00:15:26,190 --> 00:15:28,490
Do you smoke them?
422
00:15:28,525 --> 00:15:29,858
What?! [Scoffs]
423
00:15:29,894 --> 00:15:31,760
No, I love 'em.
424
00:15:31,795 --> 00:15:33,161
This is Beatrice.
425
00:15:33,197 --> 00:15:35,430
This is Citadelle.
And this is Denise.
426
00:15:35,466 --> 00:15:37,733
O-kay?
427
00:15:37,768 --> 00:15:39,568
When I first started growing
orchids,
428
00:15:39,603 --> 00:15:42,070
I thought they needed the most
expensive soil and lights
429
00:15:42,106 --> 00:15:43,071
to blossom.
430
00:15:43,107 --> 00:15:44,339
And they died.
431
00:15:44,375 --> 00:15:46,508
That's when I realized that
all they really needed
432
00:15:46,543 --> 00:15:48,110
was time and attention.
433
00:15:48,145 --> 00:15:50,245
You don't need to
get your girl a gift.
434
00:15:50,281 --> 00:15:52,447
You need to give her your time.
435
00:15:52,483 --> 00:15:55,417
Are any of these flowers boys,
or are they all girls?
436
00:15:55,452 --> 00:15:56,518
Girls?
437
00:15:56,553 --> 00:15:58,587
These are women.
438
00:16:01,125 --> 00:16:02,591
Turn the lights off!
439
00:16:02,626 --> 00:16:04,426
Are you hiding?
440
00:16:04,461 --> 00:16:05,694
Yes, from Barry.
441
00:16:05,729 --> 00:16:07,729
He asked me for money.
You were right about him.
442
00:16:07,765 --> 00:16:10,065
Well, I was wrong about Honey.
443
00:16:10,100 --> 00:16:12,267
Let me guess... she didn't
accept your forgiveness?
444
00:16:12,303 --> 00:16:14,136
No, she didn't.
445
00:16:14,171 --> 00:16:17,039
I walked in there,
I acted like nothing happened,
446
00:16:17,074 --> 00:16:20,375
and I forgave her,
and she didn't accept it.
447
00:16:20,411 --> 00:16:22,711
Did you say you were sorry?
448
00:16:22,746 --> 00:16:24,313
You know I didn't.
449
00:16:24,348 --> 00:16:25,881
Well, apologize to her.
450
00:16:25,916 --> 00:16:27,916
Well, what would I even say?
451
00:16:27,952 --> 00:16:29,751
Uh, "I'm sorry"?
452
00:16:31,855 --> 00:16:33,789
Look, I know you care about her.
453
00:16:33,824 --> 00:16:36,024
You just need to show her
your friendship matters.
454
00:16:36,060 --> 00:16:38,593
Well, you need to show Barry
his friendship doesn't.
455
00:16:38,629 --> 00:16:39,795
I'm gonna cut him off.
456
00:16:39,830 --> 00:16:41,096
I'm just thinking about
how to do it.
457
00:16:41,131 --> 00:16:42,831
Just rip off the band-aid.
458
00:16:42,866 --> 00:16:45,567
You know I don't like to
rip off band-aids.
459
00:16:45,602 --> 00:16:47,269
I like to wet them
for a few days
460
00:16:47,304 --> 00:16:50,138
and hopefully they just
come off in the shower.
461
00:16:52,076 --> 00:16:53,742
Get out. Come on.
462
00:16:53,777 --> 00:16:54,843
L-train!
463
00:16:54,878 --> 00:16:56,478
I'm gonna need you to
go on a Mayo run.
464
00:16:56,513 --> 00:16:58,780
Barry, there's not gonna be
a Mayo run.
465
00:16:58,816 --> 00:17:00,649
I'm not giving you any money
for your business,
466
00:17:00,684 --> 00:17:03,085
and you need to find
somewhere else to stay.
467
00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:04,386
How you gonna do me like that?
468
00:17:04,421 --> 00:17:05,554
We're friends, Louis!
469
00:17:05,589 --> 00:17:07,322
Are we? What's my last name?
470
00:17:08,759 --> 00:17:09,758
Train?
471
00:17:09,793 --> 00:17:12,060
Barry, I'm cutting you off.
472
00:17:12,096 --> 00:17:14,997
You're gonna miss out on an
amazing business opportunity.
473
00:17:15,032 --> 00:17:18,033
I don't think I'm gonna lose
sleep over your garagesale.com.
474
00:17:19,336 --> 00:17:22,037
For your information,
it's called Ebay.
475
00:17:23,474 --> 00:17:24,406
Dumb name!
476
00:17:24,441 --> 00:17:25,540
[Door closes]
477
00:17:25,576 --> 00:17:28,744
[Piccolo plays]
478
00:17:28,779 --> 00:17:30,812
I ain't got nothing to lose
479
00:17:30,848 --> 00:17:33,749
Young man went out
and made a name for himself
480
00:17:33,784 --> 00:17:36,885
DMX the great
481
00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:38,887
The brother got the rap
482
00:17:38,922 --> 00:17:40,122
Dr. Seuss
483
00:17:40,157 --> 00:17:41,757
Did what I had to
to get where I got
484
00:17:41,792 --> 00:17:44,459
Though I'll admit
what I had to do was a lot
485
00:17:44,495 --> 00:17:47,729
I still gave it a shot,
and sometimes I had to shoot
486
00:17:47,765 --> 00:17:49,264
Oh, my God.
487
00:17:49,299 --> 00:17:50,966
Is that DMX?
488
00:17:51,001 --> 00:17:53,135
I've been arranging
"Ghetto Life" for the piccolo.
489
00:17:53,170 --> 00:17:55,604
I actually wrote "Ghetto Life"
on the piccolo.
490
00:17:55,639 --> 00:17:57,072
You hear that, Genesis?
491
00:17:57,107 --> 00:17:58,507
Anything is possible.
492
00:17:58,542 --> 00:18:00,375
I'm gonna need you to walk soon,
sweetie.
493
00:18:00,411 --> 00:18:01,643
[Coos]
494
00:18:01,678 --> 00:18:03,011
Happy Birthday.
495
00:18:03,047 --> 00:18:04,813
I'm sorry
I've been such a jerk lately.
496
00:18:04,848 --> 00:18:07,482
I've been trying to get you
some stupid expensive necklace,
497
00:18:07,518 --> 00:18:11,086
but DMX helped me realize
it's not about presents,
498
00:18:11,121 --> 00:18:12,554
it's about presence.
499
00:18:12,589 --> 00:18:14,251
Oh, I'd rather have a necklace.
500
00:18:14,758 --> 00:18:16,024
Psych!
501
00:18:16,060 --> 00:18:18,226
DMX drove his el-do to my house!
502
00:18:18,262 --> 00:18:20,874
This is the best birthday gift
I've ever gotten!
503
00:18:21,865 --> 00:18:23,065
Take care of Tomiko.
504
00:18:23,100 --> 00:18:25,100
And be sure to use fertilizer
without urea.
505
00:18:25,135 --> 00:18:27,183
The brother got the rap
506
00:18:27,552 --> 00:18:33,141
And that's how bagel mondays can
turn into productive Tuesdays.
507
00:18:33,177 --> 00:18:35,377
Okay, we're gonna
shift gears a little bit
508
00:18:35,412 --> 00:18:38,380
and have some fun with
some role-play improv exercises.
509
00:18:38,415 --> 00:18:40,415
We call this jobprov,
510
00:18:40,451 --> 00:18:43,752
because success
doesn't come with a script.
511
00:18:43,787 --> 00:18:47,889
Okay, I need two volunteers
to help us get started.
512
00:18:47,925 --> 00:18:50,292
Yes, blonde lady in the front.
513
00:18:50,327 --> 00:18:51,359
And...
514
00:18:51,395 --> 00:18:54,671
Jessica:
Oh, she's married, you perverts.
515
00:18:55,304 --> 00:18:56,698
I volunteer.
516
00:18:56,733 --> 00:18:57,833
Great.
517
00:19:00,003 --> 00:19:01,970
So, in this scene,
518
00:19:02,005 --> 00:19:05,373
you are a customer returning
a walkman
519
00:19:05,409 --> 00:19:08,777
to a manager at circuit city.
520
00:19:08,812 --> 00:19:11,795
And... Jobprov!
521
00:19:13,273 --> 00:19:14,249
What are you doing here?
522
00:19:14,284 --> 00:19:16,718
Showing you
your friendship matters.
523
00:19:16,753 --> 00:19:18,920
But you hate this stuff.
524
00:19:18,956 --> 00:19:20,388
You think it's a waste of money.
525
00:19:20,424 --> 00:19:21,423
I do.
526
00:19:21,458 --> 00:19:23,091
But you don't.
527
00:19:23,127 --> 00:19:25,527
And we're partners.
528
00:19:25,562 --> 00:19:27,562
I'm sorry, Honey.
529
00:19:29,233 --> 00:19:31,066
I'm sorry, too.
530
00:19:31,101 --> 00:19:32,367
I miss you.
531
00:19:32,402 --> 00:19:34,503
Hello Kitty was right.
532
00:19:34,538 --> 00:19:37,305
There is such a thing
as a best friend.
533
00:19:37,341 --> 00:19:38,373
[Chuckles]
534
00:19:38,408 --> 00:19:40,175
Hello Kitty.
535
00:19:40,210 --> 00:19:42,511
Frog best friend Keroppi.
536
00:19:42,546 --> 00:19:44,579
[Chuckles]
537
00:19:47,318 --> 00:19:49,384
And... Scene.
538
00:19:49,419 --> 00:19:52,020
Okay. That was terrible.
539
00:19:52,055 --> 00:19:54,022
Really just the worst.
540
00:19:54,057 --> 00:19:55,423
There was no walkman.
541
00:19:55,459 --> 00:19:57,659
Even if there was, I don't know
why she's returning it.
542
00:19:57,694 --> 00:19:59,995
Apparently there are no doors
at this circuit city,
543
00:20:00,030 --> 00:20:03,298
if that's even where we were,
because nobody mentioned it.
544
00:20:03,333 --> 00:20:05,567
And from an H.R. standpoint,
545
00:20:05,602 --> 00:20:09,104
a long interracial same-sex hug?
546
00:20:09,139 --> 00:20:14,009
Now, this is exactly why Arby's
is a shadow of its former self.
547
00:20:14,044 --> 00:20:16,578
I [Laughs]
548
00:20:16,613 --> 00:20:18,280
[Scoffs]
549
00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:23,060
Once Jerry finishes installing
the water heater,
550
00:20:23,095 --> 00:20:25,395
we will be all set
for the open house.
551
00:20:25,431 --> 00:20:27,331
Thank you for going back to
the original list date.
552
00:20:27,366 --> 00:20:28,432
No, you were right.
553
00:20:28,467 --> 00:20:30,567
It would have been silly
to wait three months.
554
00:20:30,603 --> 00:20:33,570
Madame Xing
doesn't know everything.
555
00:20:33,987 --> 00:20:37,683
Okay, so, good news...
Water heater fit perfectly.
556
00:20:37,762 --> 00:20:41,378
Bad news... you guys have black
mold all through your attic.
557
00:20:41,413 --> 00:20:42,813
- Black mold?
- Oh, yeah.
558
00:20:42,848 --> 00:20:45,115
And it is
a serious health hazard.
559
00:20:45,150 --> 00:20:47,251
I don't even want to be standing
here, breathing this air.
560
00:20:47,286 --> 00:20:48,852
Like, I need to get out.
561
00:20:48,888 --> 00:20:50,587
Okay, but it is
absolutely illegal
562
00:20:50,656 --> 00:20:51,955
for you to sell this house
until you have it removed.
563
00:20:51,991 --> 00:20:53,490
But how long will that take?
564
00:20:53,525 --> 00:20:55,352
About three months.
565
00:20:55,827 --> 00:20:57,194
No way.
566
00:20:57,229 --> 00:20:59,496
We just got Xing'd.
567
00:20:59,798 --> 00:21:02,805
sync and corrected by ninh
www.addic7ed.com
568
00:21:02,855 --> 00:21:07,405
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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