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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,901 --> 00:00:05,972 Call me crazy, but square pizza just tastes less good. 2 00:00:05,992 --> 00:00:09,245 It's the right angles. Trying to make us learn at lunch. 3 00:00:09,555 --> 00:00:11,836 Eddie, it's your girl. 4 00:00:14,996 --> 00:00:16,060 Should I say hi? 5 00:00:16,080 --> 00:00:16,687 I don't know. 6 00:00:16,707 --> 00:00:18,378 - Should I?! - I don't know! 7 00:00:18,383 --> 00:00:20,917 - What is going on with you guys? - I don't know. 8 00:00:20,952 --> 00:00:22,652 It's been two weeks since the Fall Ball, 9 00:00:22,688 --> 00:00:24,020 and she hasn't even talked to me... 10 00:00:24,056 --> 00:00:27,190 which is crazy because that mess was mad romantic. 11 00:00:27,225 --> 00:00:29,793 [Rock music playing, indistinct shouting] 12 00:00:29,828 --> 00:00:32,028 She punched me in the armpit. 13 00:00:32,064 --> 00:00:33,296 It was amazing. 14 00:00:33,331 --> 00:00:35,031 Yeah, that night was crazy. 15 00:00:35,067 --> 00:00:37,267 Becca T. and I split a Capri sun, 16 00:00:37,302 --> 00:00:41,404 and now she just walks around like nothing even happened. 17 00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:42,906 We shared a straw. 18 00:00:42,941 --> 00:00:44,340 Trent: I feel you. 19 00:00:44,376 --> 00:00:47,210 Sarah S. slapped a slap bracelet on me at the dance. 20 00:00:47,245 --> 00:00:48,311 Where is it now? 21 00:00:48,346 --> 00:00:50,814 I lost it in the collection plate at church. 22 00:00:50,849 --> 00:00:52,649 Now it belongs to Jesus. 23 00:00:52,684 --> 00:00:53,683 I just don't get it. 24 00:00:53,719 --> 00:00:56,119 I thought Alison really liked me. 25 00:00:56,154 --> 00:00:58,121 I guess I was wrong. 26 00:01:01,280 --> 00:01:02,924 Hmm? 27 00:01:05,363 --> 00:01:07,497 Your girlfriend wanted me to give that to you. 28 00:01:07,532 --> 00:01:08,954 Yeah 29 00:01:12,637 --> 00:01:13,737 [High-pitched] Wha-a-a-a... 30 00:01:13,772 --> 00:01:16,005 [coughing] 31 00:01:16,041 --> 00:01:17,140 [Pounds fist, groans] 32 00:01:17,175 --> 00:01:19,242 [Strained] Right angle got caught in my pipe. 33 00:01:19,277 --> 00:01:20,777 [Coughing] 34 00:01:20,812 --> 00:01:22,879 S02E06 Good Morning Orlando 35 00:01:22,914 --> 00:01:24,280 fresh off the boat 36 00:01:24,316 --> 00:01:26,015 I'm gettin' mine everywhere I go 37 00:01:26,051 --> 00:01:28,184 If you don't know, homey, now you know 38 00:01:28,220 --> 00:01:29,619 Fresh off the boat 39 00:01:29,654 --> 00:01:31,955 Homey, you don't know where I come from 40 00:01:31,990 --> 00:01:33,323 But I know where I'm goin' 41 00:01:33,358 --> 00:01:34,652 I'm fresh off the boat 42 00:01:34,672 --> 00:01:37,087 sync and corrected by ninh www.addic7ed.com 43 00:01:38,296 --> 00:01:40,330 [Country music playing] 44 00:01:41,260 --> 00:01:42,899 [Sighs] Talk to the boss's wife. 45 00:01:42,934 --> 00:01:46,069 It's okay. She doesn't hate you. It's all in your head. 46 00:01:46,104 --> 00:01:48,304 [Breathing heavily] 47 00:01:48,340 --> 00:01:50,486 How's it going, Jessica? 48 00:01:50,742 --> 00:01:51,741 Are you joking? 49 00:01:52,161 --> 00:01:54,744 I... if it was funny. Was it funny? 50 00:01:54,780 --> 00:01:56,780 [Sighs] Nothing is funny, Nancy. 51 00:01:56,815 --> 00:01:58,414 I bought an investment property 52 00:01:58,450 --> 00:02:01,484 which, it turns out, is riddled with termites. 53 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:04,120 That's right... termites are real. 54 00:02:04,156 --> 00:02:06,289 The house has already been tented, so now 55 00:02:06,324 --> 00:02:09,025 it's just sort of standing there losing money... 56 00:02:09,060 --> 00:02:10,460 kind of like you. 57 00:02:10,495 --> 00:02:12,929 [Exhales sharply] 58 00:02:12,964 --> 00:02:15,064 You did it, Nancy. You made her see you. 59 00:02:15,100 --> 00:02:17,066 [Chuckling] And then she said, "squeeze 'em? 60 00:02:17,102 --> 00:02:18,635 Uh, I bought 'em!" 61 00:02:18,670 --> 00:02:20,069 [Laughter] 62 00:02:20,105 --> 00:02:22,138 Boss, some customers want to meet you. 63 00:02:22,174 --> 00:02:24,440 They're celebrities... from television. 64 00:02:24,476 --> 00:02:25,595 Oh. 65 00:02:26,014 --> 00:02:27,644 I would like to introduce you 66 00:02:27,679 --> 00:02:30,713 to Gus and Mey-Mey from "Good Morning Orlando." 67 00:02:30,749 --> 00:02:32,109 [Chuckles] 68 00:02:32,419 --> 00:02:34,317 Uh... 69 00:02:34,352 --> 00:02:36,686 It's okay. We're on at 4:00 A.M. 70 00:02:36,721 --> 00:02:39,055 Our core demo is truckers clocking on 71 00:02:39,090 --> 00:02:40,824 and hookers clocking off. [Chuckles] 72 00:02:40,859 --> 00:02:43,426 [Chuckles] Well, both are welcome here at Cattleman's. 73 00:02:43,461 --> 00:02:44,761 [Chuckles] 74 00:02:44,796 --> 00:02:48,064 I mean, as customers, not... we don't encourage prostitution. 75 00:02:48,099 --> 00:02:49,265 Is this a sting? 76 00:02:49,301 --> 00:02:51,067 Because you have to show me your badge if I ask you. 77 00:02:51,102 --> 00:02:52,569 Boss, their show is on Channel 7... 78 00:02:52,604 --> 00:02:53,736 you know, with the duck. 79 00:02:53,772 --> 00:02:55,471 - That does the weather. - The weather duck. 80 00:02:55,507 --> 00:02:57,373 Oh. I love ducks. [Chuckles] 81 00:02:57,409 --> 00:02:59,976 [As Donald duck] Seriously, are you guys cops? 82 00:03:00,011 --> 00:03:01,110 [Laughter] 83 00:03:01,146 --> 00:03:02,579 Whoa! [Laughs] 84 00:03:02,614 --> 00:03:04,981 - Did you see that? - That was amazing! 85 00:03:05,016 --> 00:03:06,316 [Normal voice] I really don't do impre... 86 00:03:06,351 --> 00:03:07,684 [as rocky] Adrian! 87 00:03:07,719 --> 00:03:10,408 [Laughter] 88 00:03:11,447 --> 00:03:13,690 Okay, you have to come on our show. 89 00:03:13,725 --> 00:03:15,692 - [Normal voice] Oh, no, I couldn't. - You got to. 90 00:03:15,727 --> 00:03:17,160 Yes, the audience would eat that up, 91 00:03:17,195 --> 00:03:18,928 and... and you can talk about your restaurant. 92 00:03:18,964 --> 00:03:20,563 Jessica: He'll do it! 93 00:03:25,971 --> 00:03:28,271 The exposure will increase business, 94 00:03:28,306 --> 00:03:30,473 which will help cover the unforeseen expenses 95 00:03:30,508 --> 00:03:32,041 from the investment property. 96 00:03:32,077 --> 00:03:33,209 What expenses? 97 00:03:33,245 --> 00:03:34,911 You were so funny today at the restaurant. 98 00:03:34,946 --> 00:03:36,846 Your impressions... they're really getting better. 99 00:03:36,882 --> 00:03:38,882 Oh, thank you. [Both chuckle] 100 00:03:38,917 --> 00:03:43,253 Boys, your father is going to be on "Good Morning Orlando." 101 00:03:43,288 --> 00:03:44,721 With Gus and Mey-Mey? 102 00:03:44,756 --> 00:03:46,256 You just blew my mind! 103 00:03:46,291 --> 00:03:48,458 You just blew my... my flippin' mind! 104 00:03:48,493 --> 00:03:50,059 Emery: You watch that show? 105 00:03:50,095 --> 00:03:53,363 So that's how you stay current. Huh. 106 00:03:55,934 --> 00:03:59,802 That's the way love goes 107 00:04:00,939 --> 00:04:04,007 That's the way that love goes 108 00:04:04,042 --> 00:04:05,742 That's the way love goes 109 00:04:05,777 --> 00:04:09,712 That's the way love goes 110 00:04:09,748 --> 00:04:11,281 What are you doing with your body? 111 00:04:11,316 --> 00:04:12,615 Celebrating. 112 00:04:12,651 --> 00:04:14,350 Alison is officially my girlfriend. 113 00:04:14,386 --> 00:04:16,586 What? When did that happen? 114 00:04:16,621 --> 00:04:17,553 [Music stops] 115 00:04:17,589 --> 00:04:18,788 Apparently, two weeks ago. 116 00:04:18,823 --> 00:04:20,890 I had no idea we were even dating. 117 00:04:20,926 --> 00:04:23,893 [Sighs] I guess that's how things work in 7th grade. 118 00:04:23,929 --> 00:04:28,064 Love moves fast and quiet, like Miss Jackson says. 119 00:04:28,099 --> 00:04:29,332 [Snoring] 120 00:04:29,367 --> 00:04:30,633 Oh. 121 00:04:30,669 --> 00:04:33,536 Well, if grandma had been awake, she would've pressed "play," 122 00:04:33,571 --> 00:04:36,739 and Janet would have said, "That's the Way Love Goes." 123 00:04:36,775 --> 00:04:37,941 [Snorts, gasps] that's the way love goes 124 00:04:37,976 --> 00:04:39,409 No, grandma, wait. It's too... 125 00:04:39,444 --> 00:04:40,843 Aah! Hup! 126 00:04:40,879 --> 00:04:42,011 Can't fight the music. 127 00:04:42,047 --> 00:04:44,314 That's the way that love goes 128 00:04:45,617 --> 00:04:47,984 'Sup? 'Sup? 129 00:04:48,019 --> 00:04:49,652 'Sup? 130 00:04:49,688 --> 00:04:52,789 Eddie. We were just talking about Alison's friends. 131 00:04:52,824 --> 00:04:55,312 Ugh. I knew this was coming. 132 00:04:55,332 --> 00:04:57,760 I wish I could hook you guys up with my girl's homegirls, 133 00:04:57,796 --> 00:04:59,429 but you know why I can't, right? 134 00:04:59,464 --> 00:05:01,931 - What? - You're gonna make me say it? 135 00:05:01,967 --> 00:05:03,099 Okay. 136 00:05:03,134 --> 00:05:04,634 Brian, you need to grow. 137 00:05:04,669 --> 00:05:07,070 Trent, dry-clean your jacket. 138 00:05:07,105 --> 00:05:08,938 Walter, racism. 139 00:05:08,974 --> 00:05:12,075 And, Dave, I'm sorry, but you're a teardown. 140 00:05:12,110 --> 00:05:13,543 We already have girlfriends! 141 00:05:13,578 --> 00:05:14,844 What?! Who? 142 00:05:14,879 --> 00:05:17,213 Like we said... Alison's friends. 143 00:05:18,516 --> 00:05:20,450 Apparently, we've all been dating since the fall ball. 144 00:05:20,485 --> 00:05:22,618 Seriously? That's awesome! 145 00:05:22,654 --> 00:05:24,620 Guess you guys got my overflow... 146 00:05:24,656 --> 00:05:26,522 trickle down love-onomics. 147 00:05:26,558 --> 00:05:28,291 - Racism? - Why am I a teardown? 148 00:05:28,326 --> 00:05:30,693 Your girlfriends asked me 149 00:05:30,729 --> 00:05:33,396 to ask you if you guys want to group-date. 150 00:05:33,431 --> 00:05:36,866 The mall, today, 3:00, by the escalators. 151 00:05:36,901 --> 00:05:38,168 - Yeah. - Awesome! 152 00:05:38,188 --> 00:05:38,917 Yeah. 153 00:05:38,937 --> 00:05:41,904 Wait. Why are you the messenger, Ned? 154 00:05:41,940 --> 00:05:45,341 [Sighs] Just be at the mall, man. 155 00:05:48,513 --> 00:05:49,712 Now what? 156 00:05:49,748 --> 00:05:50,947 [Girls giggle] 157 00:05:50,982 --> 00:05:51,814 Look! 158 00:05:51,850 --> 00:05:53,016 Yeah 159 00:05:55,820 --> 00:05:57,687 I-I guess we go up. 160 00:05:57,722 --> 00:06:00,123 All right. Let's go up. 161 00:06:04,029 --> 00:06:05,294 [Gasps] They're coming down! 162 00:06:07,065 --> 00:06:08,131 But we're going up. 163 00:06:10,135 --> 00:06:12,735 - Girls: Hey! - Boys: Hey! 164 00:06:12,771 --> 00:06:14,237 Trent: Hey. 165 00:06:16,007 --> 00:06:17,807 Eddie: What just happened? 166 00:06:17,842 --> 00:06:19,509 Should we go back down? 167 00:06:19,544 --> 00:06:21,344 Brian: They're not turning around. 168 00:06:21,379 --> 00:06:23,713 They're walking into wet seal. 169 00:06:23,748 --> 00:06:26,449 I...guess that was it. 170 00:06:26,484 --> 00:06:27,750 Cool! 171 00:06:27,786 --> 00:06:29,619 We just went on our first date! 172 00:06:29,654 --> 00:06:30,820 Yeah! 173 00:06:30,855 --> 00:06:31,921 [Laughs] 174 00:06:31,956 --> 00:06:33,489 Celebrate with an Orange Julius? 175 00:06:33,525 --> 00:06:34,857 Hell yeah, let's do it! 176 00:06:34,893 --> 00:06:38,027 Trent, your nose is bleeding, man. 177 00:06:38,063 --> 00:06:39,395 Hell yeah, it is! 178 00:06:39,431 --> 00:06:41,164 [Theme music plays] 179 00:06:41,199 --> 00:06:42,498 Gus: Good morning, Orlando. 180 00:06:42,534 --> 00:06:44,367 We want to take you live to Mindy Torres 181 00:06:44,402 --> 00:06:46,102 out in the field with some breaking news. 182 00:06:46,137 --> 00:06:48,604 Mindy? A hullabaloo was caused this morning 183 00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:51,741 when an employee discovered an endangered gopher tortoise 184 00:06:51,776 --> 00:06:54,410 blocking a rally's drive-through. 185 00:06:55,380 --> 00:06:58,081 People have placed their orders, but cars are unable 186 00:06:58,116 --> 00:07:01,150 to drive through to pick up their orders. 187 00:07:01,186 --> 00:07:02,151 [Horn blares] 188 00:07:02,187 --> 00:07:03,719 I need hash browns! 189 00:07:03,755 --> 00:07:05,354 Of course, everyone's first concern 190 00:07:05,390 --> 00:07:07,256 is for the safety of the tortoise. 191 00:07:07,292 --> 00:07:08,391 Coffee! 192 00:07:08,426 --> 00:07:10,359 Well, thank you, Mindy, and we will check back in 193 00:07:10,395 --> 00:07:12,195 - with you in a few hours for an update. - Wait, what... 194 00:07:12,230 --> 00:07:13,463 I'll tell you, Gus, 195 00:07:13,498 --> 00:07:16,265 if a turtle was blocking me from my coffee, 196 00:07:16,301 --> 00:07:18,334 I'd super Mario it. 197 00:07:18,369 --> 00:07:19,469 [Laughs] 198 00:07:21,106 --> 00:07:22,472 Okay. 199 00:07:22,507 --> 00:07:25,108 Well, it's time for the Gus-light, 200 00:07:25,143 --> 00:07:27,477 where we shine a spotlight on local businesses. 201 00:07:27,512 --> 00:07:30,680 Joining us today is local entrepreneur... 202 00:07:30,715 --> 00:07:32,515 Louis Huang. 203 00:07:32,550 --> 00:07:34,951 Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to join us. 204 00:07:34,986 --> 00:07:37,520 Well, thank you for, uh, having me. [Chuckles] 205 00:07:37,555 --> 00:07:41,691 Uh, as you know, my restaurant is Cattleman's Ranch Steakhouse, 206 00:07:41,726 --> 00:07:47,096 which is exit 4b, uh, off of I-4, uh, north. 207 00:07:47,132 --> 00:07:50,900 But if you're coming south, it's exit 4a off of I-4 south. 208 00:07:50,935 --> 00:07:52,635 - Great directions. - Yeah. 209 00:07:52,670 --> 00:07:54,637 And in addition to being a cattleman, 210 00:07:54,672 --> 00:07:57,440 Louis here is also a funnyman. 211 00:07:57,475 --> 00:07:58,508 [Laughter] 212 00:07:58,543 --> 00:08:00,143 - He did some amazing - Right? 213 00:08:00,178 --> 00:08:02,378 celebrity impressions for us the other day. 214 00:08:02,413 --> 00:08:03,513 Yes, he did. [Laughs] 215 00:08:03,548 --> 00:08:05,181 [As Rocky] I can't see nothin'. 216 00:08:05,216 --> 00:08:06,816 Cut my eyes, Mick. Cut 'em. 217 00:08:06,851 --> 00:08:07,984 I can't see. 218 00:08:08,019 --> 00:08:09,785 [Both laugh] 219 00:08:09,821 --> 00:08:12,622 Hey, Rocky Balboa is in the studio all of a sudden. 220 00:08:12,657 --> 00:08:13,656 [Normal voice] You got it! 221 00:08:13,691 --> 00:08:14,891 [Laughter] 222 00:08:14,926 --> 00:08:16,492 Why... why is that so funny? 223 00:08:16,528 --> 00:08:19,228 [As Donald duck] Because Stallone talks funny! 224 00:08:19,264 --> 00:08:21,831 [Both laugh] 225 00:08:21,866 --> 00:08:23,032 You're killing it! 226 00:08:23,067 --> 00:08:24,667 You're very good! 227 00:08:24,702 --> 00:08:26,502 What have you done? 228 00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:31,466 You're supposed to go out there 229 00:08:31,502 --> 00:08:34,623 and promote the restaurant, not make a fool out of yourself. 230 00:08:34,643 --> 00:08:37,253 [As Arnold Jackson] Whatchu talkin' 'bout, woman? You love my impressions. 231 00:08:37,273 --> 00:08:38,272 [Normal voice] That was Arnold. 232 00:08:38,308 --> 00:08:39,407 Not on television. 233 00:08:39,442 --> 00:08:40,708 What's the difference? 234 00:08:40,743 --> 00:08:43,277 Name one Chinese person on TV. 235 00:08:43,313 --> 00:08:44,212 Pat Morita. 236 00:08:44,247 --> 00:08:45,279 Japanese, and you know it. 237 00:08:45,315 --> 00:08:46,414 What's your point? 238 00:08:46,449 --> 00:08:49,650 We don't get opportunities to be on TV. 239 00:08:49,686 --> 00:08:53,187 That's why when we do, we need to present our best face... 240 00:08:53,223 --> 00:08:55,656 not clown around, like you did today. 241 00:08:55,692 --> 00:08:56,757 They loved me. 242 00:08:56,793 --> 00:08:58,859 You know what it reminded me of? 243 00:08:58,895 --> 00:09:00,595 Your favorite character. 244 00:09:00,630 --> 00:09:01,495 No. 245 00:09:01,531 --> 00:09:02,863 From "Sixteen Candles." 246 00:09:02,899 --> 00:09:03,631 Don't say it. 247 00:09:03,666 --> 00:09:06,467 Long... Duk... Dong. 248 00:09:07,470 --> 00:09:10,071 Yeah, so, 3 bucks an hour to make little pizza tables... 249 00:09:10,106 --> 00:09:11,105 not bad, right? 250 00:09:11,140 --> 00:09:12,640 Oh, here comes a cab. 251 00:09:12,675 --> 00:09:14,609 You should yell [As Long Duk Dong] "automobile!" 252 00:09:14,644 --> 00:09:16,377 Ha ha. Right. 253 00:09:16,412 --> 00:09:17,745 [Both chuckle] 254 00:09:19,082 --> 00:09:21,215 Louis, you missed your opportunity, man. 255 00:09:21,251 --> 00:09:22,316 You should've yelled 256 00:09:22,352 --> 00:09:24,952 [as Long Duk Dong] "Oh, sexy girlfriend!" 257 00:09:24,988 --> 00:09:26,153 [Chuckles] Right. 258 00:09:26,189 --> 00:09:27,755 [Laughing] Yeah. Yeah. 259 00:09:27,790 --> 00:09:29,023 [Ice rattles] 260 00:09:29,058 --> 00:09:30,958 The Chinese guy in that movie 261 00:09:30,994 --> 00:09:34,662 became what everybody thought all Chinese people were. 262 00:09:34,697 --> 00:09:37,298 He made people think that was okay. 263 00:09:37,333 --> 00:09:39,834 That's why when we get opportunities like this, 264 00:09:39,869 --> 00:09:40,868 it matters. 265 00:09:40,903 --> 00:09:42,536 Look, I was just a person 266 00:09:42,572 --> 00:09:44,572 joking around on a morning talk show. 267 00:09:44,607 --> 00:09:46,941 This is not a Long Duk Dong situation. 268 00:09:46,976 --> 00:09:49,243 Hello, dad. Saw the show. 269 00:09:49,279 --> 00:09:50,378 Very hurtful. 270 00:09:50,413 --> 00:09:51,579 Really? 271 00:09:51,614 --> 00:09:53,547 I taught you Donald Duck. 272 00:09:53,583 --> 00:09:55,716 [As Donald duck] And you stole it! 273 00:09:55,752 --> 00:09:56,751 [Sighs] 274 00:10:00,256 --> 00:10:03,090 Fellas, we're doing it! 275 00:10:03,126 --> 00:10:04,225 We livin'. 276 00:10:04,260 --> 00:10:06,427 Remember when we went on the mall date 277 00:10:06,462 --> 00:10:07,528 with our girlfriends 278 00:10:07,563 --> 00:10:08,929 and they were like [High-pitched] "hi!" 279 00:10:08,965 --> 00:10:10,931 And we were like [Deep voice] "hi"? 280 00:10:10,967 --> 00:10:11,799 [Chuckles] 281 00:10:11,834 --> 00:10:13,134 [Chuckles] 282 00:10:13,169 --> 00:10:14,535 Dave. 283 00:10:14,570 --> 00:10:16,671 Becca G. wants to break up with you. 284 00:10:19,742 --> 00:10:22,109 I don't understand. 285 00:10:22,145 --> 00:10:23,911 I thought I was dating Sarah S. 286 00:10:23,946 --> 00:10:25,379 What? No. 287 00:10:25,415 --> 00:10:28,516 I'm dating Sarah S. You're dating Becca G. 288 00:10:28,551 --> 00:10:29,750 Well, you were. 289 00:10:29,786 --> 00:10:31,652 No, I'm dating Becca G. 290 00:10:31,688 --> 00:10:33,888 But wait. Then why did she break up with you? 291 00:10:33,923 --> 00:10:36,757 Hold up. Did you just say "Becca G." or "Becca T."? 292 00:10:36,793 --> 00:10:38,326 'Cause I'm dating Becca T. 293 00:10:38,361 --> 00:10:39,293 I think. 294 00:10:39,329 --> 00:10:40,761 This is messed up. 295 00:10:40,797 --> 00:10:42,630 You guys don't even know who you're dating?! 296 00:10:42,665 --> 00:10:43,631 Do you? 297 00:10:43,666 --> 00:10:45,933 Yeah, man. I'm dating Alison. 298 00:10:45,968 --> 00:10:47,301 How can you be so sure? 299 00:10:47,337 --> 00:10:49,670 Because we really like each other, 300 00:10:49,706 --> 00:10:52,206 and we danced in the mosh pit at the fall ball. 301 00:10:52,241 --> 00:10:53,874 She pushed me in the mosh pit, too. 302 00:10:53,910 --> 00:10:54,875 Me too. 303 00:10:54,911 --> 00:10:56,077 Me too. 304 00:10:56,112 --> 00:10:58,012 Me too. 305 00:11:00,583 --> 00:11:02,516 [Country music playing] 306 00:11:02,552 --> 00:11:05,219 Hey, we saw you on "Good Morning Orlando." 307 00:11:05,254 --> 00:11:06,320 Hilarious! 308 00:11:06,356 --> 00:11:07,421 [As Rambo] Don't push it, 309 00:11:07,457 --> 00:11:09,123 or I'll give you a war you won't believe. 310 00:11:09,158 --> 00:11:10,157 [Laughter] 311 00:11:10,193 --> 00:11:13,194 Man: [As Long Duk Dong] Automobile! 312 00:11:14,197 --> 00:11:16,230 What did you just say? 313 00:11:16,265 --> 00:11:18,833 I ordered the veal. 314 00:11:18,868 --> 00:11:19,867 He did. 315 00:11:19,902 --> 00:11:21,435 Man: [Laughing] This guy cracks me up! 316 00:11:21,471 --> 00:11:23,671 [As Rambo] I'll give you a war you won't believe! 317 00:11:23,706 --> 00:11:24,705 [Laughter] 318 00:11:24,741 --> 00:11:26,474 Jessica: Long... Duk... Dong! 319 00:11:26,509 --> 00:11:29,410 Man: [As Long Duk Dong] Automobile! 320 00:11:29,445 --> 00:11:32,213 Sexy girlfriend! 321 00:11:32,248 --> 00:11:33,647 [Distorted laughter] 322 00:11:33,683 --> 00:11:35,182 And then everyone was laughing, 323 00:11:35,218 --> 00:11:37,518 but in a gross way, which made me feel gross. 324 00:11:37,553 --> 00:11:39,587 Are people laughing with me or at me? 325 00:11:39,622 --> 00:11:41,956 At you. That's what I was saying. 326 00:11:41,991 --> 00:11:43,624 I need to go back on that show. 327 00:11:43,659 --> 00:11:46,494 I will iron your television pants. 328 00:11:46,529 --> 00:11:48,629 [Black Sheep's "The Choice is Yours" plays] 329 00:11:48,664 --> 00:11:51,065 This or that? This or that? 330 00:11:51,100 --> 00:11:53,000 This or that? This or that? 331 00:11:53,035 --> 00:11:55,002 You can get with this or you can get with that 332 00:11:55,037 --> 00:11:57,972 You can get with this or you can get with that 333 00:11:58,007 --> 00:12:01,041 So, Alison pushed us all in the mosh pit, 334 00:12:01,077 --> 00:12:05,012 but were those pushes platonic or passionate? 335 00:12:05,047 --> 00:12:06,747 Evidence is inconclusive. 336 00:12:07,750 --> 00:12:09,083 Who are you, woman? 337 00:12:09,118 --> 00:12:10,985 Well, at least we know who you're dating, Walter. 338 00:12:11,020 --> 00:12:12,186 What do you mean? 339 00:12:13,156 --> 00:12:14,388 Well, you know... 340 00:12:14,424 --> 00:12:15,923 I'm just saying... 341 00:12:17,059 --> 00:12:18,793 I-it's the south. 342 00:12:18,828 --> 00:12:19,827 [Exhales sharply] 343 00:12:19,862 --> 00:12:21,195 That's messed up, man. 344 00:12:21,230 --> 00:12:25,399 I mean, Edith is the one I like, but it's unrelated. 345 00:12:26,269 --> 00:12:28,536 There's got to be a way to figure out who our girlfriends are. 346 00:12:28,571 --> 00:12:30,137 Why don't you just ask them? 347 00:12:30,173 --> 00:12:32,239 You crazy, ese? 348 00:12:32,275 --> 00:12:34,375 You have any idea how mad they'll be at us? 349 00:12:34,410 --> 00:12:36,544 - I think if you're honest... - Just go away, okay? 350 00:12:36,579 --> 00:12:38,345 This is big-kid business. 351 00:12:38,381 --> 00:12:40,347 Hey, I'm just here to get my tub of gak 352 00:12:40,383 --> 00:12:42,416 you borrowed without asking. 353 00:12:44,253 --> 00:12:47,154 Of course there's hair in it. 354 00:12:47,190 --> 00:12:50,291 [Telephone rings] 355 00:12:50,326 --> 00:12:51,759 Hello? 356 00:12:54,030 --> 00:12:55,129 It's one of the girls. 357 00:12:56,365 --> 00:12:59,200 [Muffled] Is it Becca G.? Did she get my letter? 358 00:12:59,235 --> 00:13:01,202 I'll find out who it is. 359 00:13:01,237 --> 00:13:02,770 Sorry about that. 360 00:13:02,805 --> 00:13:04,805 So, you like soda? 361 00:13:04,841 --> 00:13:05,739 Mm-hmm. 362 00:13:05,775 --> 00:13:07,708 Uh-huh. 363 00:13:07,743 --> 00:13:10,344 Yeah, sure. That sounds great. 364 00:13:10,379 --> 00:13:11,879 Peace. 365 00:13:11,914 --> 00:13:12,646 [Receiver clicks] 366 00:13:12,682 --> 00:13:14,181 I don't know who that was. 367 00:13:14,217 --> 00:13:15,850 [All groan] 368 00:13:15,885 --> 00:13:18,152 But the girls do want to have another group date... 369 00:13:18,187 --> 00:13:19,553 at the roller rink tomorrow. 370 00:13:19,589 --> 00:13:20,788 That's suicide! 371 00:13:20,823 --> 00:13:22,022 They'll bust us wide open, 372 00:13:22,058 --> 00:13:23,724 and then none of us will have girlfriends. 373 00:13:23,759 --> 00:13:25,326 I can't go back to being single. 374 00:13:25,361 --> 00:13:29,063 At the rink, all of us will fall down at the same time, 375 00:13:29,098 --> 00:13:31,398 and then the girl who's our girlfriend 376 00:13:31,434 --> 00:13:34,001 will come to help us because she loves us, 377 00:13:34,036 --> 00:13:35,769 and then we'll know who she is. 378 00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:40,808 What if two girls help us up? Do we get two? 379 00:13:41,811 --> 00:13:43,377 Well, we finally have an answer 380 00:13:43,412 --> 00:13:45,479 to that question everyone's been asking... 381 00:13:45,515 --> 00:13:47,515 why doesn't anybody move the damn thing? 382 00:13:47,550 --> 00:13:49,116 Apparently, human touch 383 00:13:49,151 --> 00:13:52,286 would render the endangered tortoise infertile. 384 00:13:52,321 --> 00:13:53,621 Maybe that tortoise should try 385 00:13:53,656 --> 00:13:55,723 being an unmarried woman over 40. 386 00:13:55,758 --> 00:13:56,724 Oh! [Chuckles] 387 00:13:56,759 --> 00:13:59,193 Stay strong, mind. He's out there. 388 00:13:59,228 --> 00:14:00,160 Yeah, yeah. 389 00:14:00,196 --> 00:14:01,996 Nothing sadder than a woman over 27. 390 00:14:02,031 --> 00:14:02,863 Oh. 391 00:14:02,899 --> 00:14:05,099 Next up, we have our old friend 392 00:14:05,134 --> 00:14:08,035 who's back in the studio... Louis Huang. 393 00:14:08,070 --> 00:14:10,337 Louis, you were cracking us up the other day 394 00:14:10,373 --> 00:14:12,072 with your impressions. [Chuckles] 395 00:14:12,108 --> 00:14:14,308 Well, you know, I'm glad I exist to entertain you. 396 00:14:15,244 --> 00:14:17,811 So, do you do Bill Cosby? 397 00:14:17,847 --> 00:14:19,880 I love him. 398 00:14:19,916 --> 00:14:22,850 Me too. America's moral compass. 399 00:14:22,885 --> 00:14:24,685 Well, you know, I'm already doing an impression. 400 00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:26,854 [Gasping, laughing] 401 00:14:26,889 --> 00:14:28,856 Of... of what? 402 00:14:28,891 --> 00:14:31,358 A successful Chinese-American business owner 403 00:14:31,394 --> 00:14:34,637 who's worked hard for everything he has. 404 00:14:37,667 --> 00:14:38,866 Uh, o-okay. 405 00:14:38,901 --> 00:14:40,134 All right, how about we, uh... [Chuckles] 406 00:14:40,169 --> 00:14:41,535 How about we talk about your restaurant, right? 407 00:14:41,571 --> 00:14:43,103 Yeah! That seems to be what you want to... 408 00:14:43,139 --> 00:14:44,438 Okay. Well, it's a steakhouse. 409 00:14:44,473 --> 00:14:46,440 - Oh, yum! - An American restaurant. 410 00:14:46,475 --> 00:14:48,976 That's right... Chinese people can make all kinds of food. 411 00:14:49,011 --> 00:14:52,246 Oh! I made pot stickers once... from frozen. 412 00:14:52,281 --> 00:14:55,082 So, I-is that all Asian culture is to you... pot stickers? 413 00:14:55,117 --> 00:14:56,283 No! No! I didn't mean that. 414 00:14:56,319 --> 00:14:57,618 You know what? Let's talk about race. 415 00:14:57,653 --> 00:14:59,653 No, that's a little too serious for the Gus-light... 416 00:14:59,689 --> 00:15:01,155 - Yeah! - ...as far as I'm concerned. 417 00:15:01,190 --> 00:15:03,624 Oh, okay. So you don't want me to be serious? 418 00:15:03,659 --> 00:15:06,293 You just want me to be joking around, be the clown. 419 00:15:06,329 --> 00:15:09,663 "The Chinese guy's on TV! Make everybody laugh!" 420 00:15:09,699 --> 00:15:11,246 Both: Let's go to commercial. 421 00:15:12,293 --> 00:15:14,093 Why were aou so serious?! 422 00:15:14,128 --> 00:15:16,896 It's a morning show. They have a duck that does the weather. 423 00:15:16,931 --> 00:15:18,331 You told me that... 424 00:15:18,366 --> 00:15:20,299 y-you said they were laughing at... 425 00:15:20,335 --> 00:15:21,834 I... you got in my head! 426 00:15:21,869 --> 00:15:22,969 Well, now everybody thinks 427 00:15:23,004 --> 00:15:24,870 Chinese people have no sense of humor! 428 00:15:24,906 --> 00:15:26,439 What? Did they think we had one before? 429 00:15:26,474 --> 00:15:28,908 Well, I don't know, but they definitely don't now. 430 00:15:28,943 --> 00:15:30,676 You need to go back out there 431 00:15:30,712 --> 00:15:33,579 and show people that you can laugh at yourself. 432 00:15:33,615 --> 00:15:35,381 But be serious, too. 433 00:15:35,416 --> 00:15:39,251 A couple of light jokes... nothing political. 434 00:15:39,287 --> 00:15:41,320 But don't be boring, either. 435 00:15:41,356 --> 00:15:45,280 Don't make waves, but be interesting. 436 00:15:45,300 --> 00:15:47,188 And pleasant. 437 00:15:47,208 --> 00:15:49,962 And also smart. You should be smart. 438 00:15:49,998 --> 00:15:50,763 [Sighs] 439 00:15:50,798 --> 00:15:51,964 And tall. 440 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:56,068 You realize doing all that is impossible, right? 441 00:15:56,507 --> 00:15:58,137 I know. 442 00:15:58,172 --> 00:16:00,239 I just want it to be perfect. 443 00:16:00,274 --> 00:16:03,175 Well, one person can't be everything. 444 00:16:03,211 --> 00:16:05,077 That weather duck isn't going out there 445 00:16:05,113 --> 00:16:07,380 thinking about representing all ducks. 446 00:16:07,415 --> 00:16:08,914 No, he's probably thinking 447 00:16:08,950 --> 00:16:10,750 [as Donald Duck] "What the heck is going on here?" 448 00:16:10,785 --> 00:16:12,418 [Both laugh] 449 00:16:12,453 --> 00:16:14,887 Oh, that's not funny! That's not funny. 450 00:16:14,922 --> 00:16:17,590 Yes, it is, and it's okay that it's funny. 451 00:16:17,625 --> 00:16:19,291 And sometimes a guy doing an impression 452 00:16:19,327 --> 00:16:20,826 is just a guy doing an impression. 453 00:16:20,862 --> 00:16:21,861 [Sighs] 454 00:16:21,896 --> 00:16:24,196 Okay. Fine. 455 00:16:24,232 --> 00:16:27,099 Then go back on the show and just be yourself. 456 00:16:27,135 --> 00:16:28,668 I'm banned from the studio. 457 00:16:30,399 --> 00:16:32,989 Maybe you don't have to go back into the studio. 458 00:16:33,875 --> 00:16:38,110 [Dance music playing] 459 00:16:38,146 --> 00:16:40,913 Okay, guys, remember the plan... 460 00:16:40,948 --> 00:16:42,181 same time, fall. 461 00:16:42,216 --> 00:16:45,518 Whichever girl comes to each of us, that's our girlfriend. 462 00:16:45,553 --> 00:16:47,286 Got it. 463 00:16:55,396 --> 00:16:57,029 [Thud] Damn it, Brian! 464 00:16:57,065 --> 00:16:58,531 We're supposed to fall together! 465 00:16:58,566 --> 00:17:00,599 I have weak ankles. 466 00:17:00,635 --> 00:17:03,102 Man: Couples skate. Grab your partner's hand. 467 00:17:04,639 --> 00:17:05,838 Come on. Let's skate. 468 00:17:05,873 --> 00:17:07,840 [Soft music playing] 469 00:17:13,848 --> 00:17:15,214 Later, nerds. 470 00:17:24,192 --> 00:17:26,058 That's it. I'm going in. 471 00:17:27,395 --> 00:17:28,427 Ew! 472 00:17:28,463 --> 00:17:30,396 Why are you grabbing my hand? 473 00:17:30,431 --> 00:17:32,064 I thought you were my girlfriend. 474 00:17:32,100 --> 00:17:34,633 What are you talking about, Trent? I'm your girlfriend. 475 00:17:34,669 --> 00:17:37,269 How do you not know who your own girlfriend is? 476 00:17:37,305 --> 00:17:38,804 Hey! Leave him alone! 477 00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:40,339 None of us knew who we were dating. 478 00:17:40,374 --> 00:17:41,373 Eddie: What?! 479 00:17:41,409 --> 00:17:42,575 Why you gonna tell them that? 480 00:17:42,610 --> 00:17:45,444 Wait... you didn't know we were dating? 481 00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:46,846 I mean, I did, but, you know, 482 00:17:46,881 --> 00:17:48,814 you pushed a lot of people in the mosh pit, 483 00:17:48,850 --> 00:17:50,349 so I made an evidence board and... 484 00:17:50,384 --> 00:17:51,951 I can't believe this. 485 00:17:53,621 --> 00:17:56,188 [Singsong voice] Couple coming through! 486 00:17:59,894 --> 00:18:01,327 [Voice breaking] Breaking news... 487 00:18:01,362 --> 00:18:04,497 another tortoise has appeared in the shrubbery, 488 00:18:04,532 --> 00:18:06,198 in an apparent effort 489 00:18:06,234 --> 00:18:08,334 to guide the first tortoise to safety. 490 00:18:08,369 --> 00:18:09,368 [Chuckling] Oh... 491 00:18:09,403 --> 00:18:11,337 Um, I'm glad you said that, uh, Mindy. 492 00:18:11,372 --> 00:18:12,538 Sorry to barge in like this, 493 00:18:12,573 --> 00:18:13,973 but they banned me from the studio. 494 00:18:14,008 --> 00:18:15,808 Uh, Gus, Mey-Mey... 495 00:18:15,843 --> 00:18:17,943 I just want to apologize for yesterday. 496 00:18:17,979 --> 00:18:20,279 I wasn't myself, and, uh, you know, 497 00:18:20,314 --> 00:18:22,915 myself is... is all I can be, really, 498 00:18:22,950 --> 00:18:25,451 and occasionally a smooth criminal. 499 00:18:25,486 --> 00:18:27,820 [As Michael Jackson] Shamone! Eee-hee! 500 00:18:28,856 --> 00:18:30,923 [Both laugh] 501 00:18:30,958 --> 00:18:32,958 Look at that. Hey, forget about the Jackson 5. 502 00:18:32,994 --> 00:18:34,493 We got the Jackson 6 right here. 503 00:18:34,529 --> 00:18:35,494 [Laughing] Oh! 504 00:18:36,264 --> 00:18:38,597 I can't believe you get paid more than me. 505 00:18:38,633 --> 00:18:40,699 Louis: Ooh! 506 00:18:40,735 --> 00:18:41,767 Ah! Ah! 507 00:18:41,803 --> 00:18:43,435 Michael Jackson?! 508 00:18:43,471 --> 00:18:45,905 I taught him that! 509 00:18:45,940 --> 00:18:47,239 Ooh! 510 00:18:49,644 --> 00:18:52,011 [Sighs] 511 00:18:52,046 --> 00:18:55,314 Did you figure out your "big-kids business"? 512 00:18:58,386 --> 00:18:59,952 What's wrong? 513 00:18:59,987 --> 00:19:02,054 I screwed things up with Alison. 514 00:19:02,089 --> 00:19:04,523 I really liked her, and I don't know what to do. 515 00:19:05,827 --> 00:19:07,893 Have you tried talking to her? 516 00:19:07,929 --> 00:19:08,861 No. 517 00:19:08,896 --> 00:19:10,629 Why not? 518 00:19:10,665 --> 00:19:12,498 Well, 'cause I don't think 519 00:19:12,533 --> 00:19:14,600 that's how they do things in seventh grade. 520 00:19:14,635 --> 00:19:16,235 How's that working for you? 521 00:19:19,807 --> 00:19:21,273 Alison. 522 00:19:22,310 --> 00:19:24,176 Hey, you got anything to say to her, 523 00:19:24,212 --> 00:19:25,878 you can pass a note through me. 524 00:19:25,913 --> 00:19:26,946 It's okay, Ned. 525 00:19:29,984 --> 00:19:31,487 I'm listening. 526 00:19:32,186 --> 00:19:34,353 To be honest, I didn't even know we were dating, 527 00:19:34,388 --> 00:19:36,021 and when I found out we were, 528 00:19:36,057 --> 00:19:38,123 I didn't want to do anything to mess it up, 529 00:19:38,159 --> 00:19:39,792 because I like you a lot. 530 00:19:39,827 --> 00:19:42,061 And I don't know if we're supposed to be saying that 531 00:19:42,096 --> 00:19:44,296 in seventh grade or if we're supposed to be 532 00:19:44,332 --> 00:19:46,398 having this conversation on an escalator. 533 00:19:46,434 --> 00:19:48,836 I don't know how any of this works. 534 00:19:49,116 --> 00:19:50,836 Yeah. It's weird. 535 00:19:50,872 --> 00:19:52,838 I had so much fun with you at the fall ball, 536 00:19:52,874 --> 00:19:54,974 but then my friends were like, "you can't talk to him. 537 00:19:55,009 --> 00:19:55,975 You're dating him." 538 00:19:56,010 --> 00:19:58,477 Well, I'm sorry we broke up. 539 00:19:58,512 --> 00:20:00,913 - Broke up? We didn't break up. - We didn't? 540 00:20:00,948 --> 00:20:03,582 No. That was our first fight, and we got through it. 541 00:20:03,618 --> 00:20:04,650 We did? 542 00:20:04,685 --> 00:20:07,086 Yes. And now we're stronger than ever. 543 00:20:07,121 --> 00:20:08,354 A'ight. A'ight. 544 00:20:08,389 --> 00:20:11,056 So, are all my friends still dating your friends? 545 00:20:11,092 --> 00:20:12,224 Oh, hell no. 546 00:20:12,260 --> 00:20:14,860 In fact, they shouldn't come around for a while... 547 00:20:14,896 --> 00:20:16,228 especially Dave. 548 00:20:16,264 --> 00:20:17,830 A'ight. A'ight. 549 00:20:17,865 --> 00:20:18,864 That makes sense. 550 00:20:18,900 --> 00:20:20,032 Walk me to class? 551 00:20:20,067 --> 00:20:22,768 Okay, but just so I'm clear... 552 00:20:22,803 --> 00:20:23,836 you're my girlfriend? 553 00:20:23,871 --> 00:20:25,070 Yes. 554 00:20:25,106 --> 00:20:27,239 I'll explain on the way. Come on. 555 00:20:32,106 --> 00:20:36,315 The number-one dating rule is to listen to a woman. 556 00:20:36,335 --> 00:20:39,945 "Listen... To... Her." 557 00:20:39,981 --> 00:20:43,716 - What if what she's saying is, uh... - Boring? 558 00:20:43,751 --> 00:20:45,718 You should still be listening to her. 559 00:20:45,753 --> 00:20:47,586 Even if she's talking about horses? 560 00:20:47,622 --> 00:20:49,855 Especially when she's talking about horses. 561 00:20:49,890 --> 00:20:51,757 What if you're scared of horses? 562 00:20:51,792 --> 00:20:54,326 Don't be scared of horses! 563 00:20:56,964 --> 00:21:00,331 Trent: "Don't... be... scared... of horses." 564 00:21:00,351 --> 00:21:03,232 sync and corrected by ninh www.addic7ed.com 565 00:21:03,282 --> 00:21:07,832 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 39813

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