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1
00:00:02,901 --> 00:00:05,972
Call me crazy, but square pizza
just tastes less good.
2
00:00:05,992 --> 00:00:09,245
It's the right angles.
Trying to make us learn at lunch.
3
00:00:09,555 --> 00:00:11,836
Eddie, it's your girl.
4
00:00:14,996 --> 00:00:16,060
Should I say hi?
5
00:00:16,080 --> 00:00:16,687
I don't know.
6
00:00:16,707 --> 00:00:18,378
- Should I?!
- I don't know!
7
00:00:18,383 --> 00:00:20,917
- What is going on with you guys?
- I don't know.
8
00:00:20,952 --> 00:00:22,652
It's been two weeks
since the Fall Ball,
9
00:00:22,688 --> 00:00:24,020
and she hasn't even
talked to me...
10
00:00:24,056 --> 00:00:27,190
which is crazy because
that mess was mad romantic.
11
00:00:27,225 --> 00:00:29,793
[Rock music playing,
indistinct shouting]
12
00:00:29,828 --> 00:00:32,028
She punched me in the armpit.
13
00:00:32,064 --> 00:00:33,296
It was amazing.
14
00:00:33,331 --> 00:00:35,031
Yeah, that night was crazy.
15
00:00:35,067 --> 00:00:37,267
Becca T. and I split a Capri sun,
16
00:00:37,302 --> 00:00:41,404
and now she just walks around
like nothing even happened.
17
00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:42,906
We shared a straw.
18
00:00:42,941 --> 00:00:44,340
Trent: I feel you.
19
00:00:44,376 --> 00:00:47,210
Sarah S. slapped a slap bracelet
on me at the dance.
20
00:00:47,245 --> 00:00:48,311
Where is it now?
21
00:00:48,346 --> 00:00:50,814
I lost it in
the collection plate at church.
22
00:00:50,849 --> 00:00:52,649
Now it belongs to Jesus.
23
00:00:52,684 --> 00:00:53,683
I just don't get it.
24
00:00:53,719 --> 00:00:56,119
I thought Alison really liked me.
25
00:00:56,154 --> 00:00:58,121
I guess I was wrong.
26
00:01:01,280 --> 00:01:02,924
Hmm?
27
00:01:05,363 --> 00:01:07,497
Your girlfriend wanted me
to give that to you.
28
00:01:07,532 --> 00:01:08,954
Yeah
29
00:01:12,637 --> 00:01:13,737
[High-pitched] Wha-a-a-a...
30
00:01:13,772 --> 00:01:16,005
[coughing]
31
00:01:16,041 --> 00:01:17,140
[Pounds fist, groans]
32
00:01:17,175 --> 00:01:19,242
[Strained] Right angle
got caught in my pipe.
33
00:01:19,277 --> 00:01:20,777
[Coughing]
34
00:01:20,812 --> 00:01:22,879
S02E06
Good Morning Orlando
35
00:01:22,914 --> 00:01:24,280
fresh off the boat
36
00:01:24,316 --> 00:01:26,015
I'm gettin' mine
everywhere I go
37
00:01:26,051 --> 00:01:28,184
If you don't know, homey,
now you know
38
00:01:28,220 --> 00:01:29,619
Fresh off the boat
39
00:01:29,654 --> 00:01:31,955
Homey, you don't know
where I come from
40
00:01:31,990 --> 00:01:33,323
But I know where I'm goin'
41
00:01:33,358 --> 00:01:34,652
I'm fresh off the boat
42
00:01:34,672 --> 00:01:37,087
sync and corrected by ninh
www.addic7ed.com
43
00:01:38,296 --> 00:01:40,330
[Country music playing]
44
00:01:41,260 --> 00:01:42,899
[Sighs]
Talk to the boss's wife.
45
00:01:42,934 --> 00:01:46,069
It's okay. She doesn't hate you.
It's all in your head.
46
00:01:46,104 --> 00:01:48,304
[Breathing heavily]
47
00:01:48,340 --> 00:01:50,486
How's it going, Jessica?
48
00:01:50,742 --> 00:01:51,741
Are you joking?
49
00:01:52,161 --> 00:01:54,744
I... if it was funny.
Was it funny?
50
00:01:54,780 --> 00:01:56,780
[Sighs]
Nothing is funny, Nancy.
51
00:01:56,815 --> 00:01:58,414
I bought an investment property
52
00:01:58,450 --> 00:02:01,484
which, it turns out,
is riddled with termites.
53
00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:04,120
That's right...
termites are real.
54
00:02:04,156 --> 00:02:06,289
The house has already
been tented, so now
55
00:02:06,324 --> 00:02:09,025
it's just sort of standing there
losing money...
56
00:02:09,060 --> 00:02:10,460
kind of like you.
57
00:02:10,495 --> 00:02:12,929
[Exhales sharply]
58
00:02:12,964 --> 00:02:15,064
You did it, Nancy.
You made her see you.
59
00:02:15,100 --> 00:02:17,066
[Chuckling]
And then she said, "squeeze 'em?
60
00:02:17,102 --> 00:02:18,635
Uh, I bought 'em!"
61
00:02:18,670 --> 00:02:20,069
[Laughter]
62
00:02:20,105 --> 00:02:22,138
Boss, some customers
want to meet you.
63
00:02:22,174 --> 00:02:24,440
They're celebrities...
from television.
64
00:02:24,476 --> 00:02:25,595
Oh.
65
00:02:26,014 --> 00:02:27,644
I would like to introduce you
66
00:02:27,679 --> 00:02:30,713
to Gus and Mey-Mey
from "Good Morning Orlando."
67
00:02:30,749 --> 00:02:32,109
[Chuckles]
68
00:02:32,419 --> 00:02:34,317
Uh...
69
00:02:34,352 --> 00:02:36,686
It's okay. We're on at 4:00 A.M.
70
00:02:36,721 --> 00:02:39,055
Our core demo
is truckers clocking on
71
00:02:39,090 --> 00:02:40,824
and hookers clocking off.
[Chuckles]
72
00:02:40,859 --> 00:02:43,426
[Chuckles] Well, both are
welcome here at Cattleman's.
73
00:02:43,461 --> 00:02:44,761
[Chuckles]
74
00:02:44,796 --> 00:02:48,064
I mean, as customers, not...
we don't encourage prostitution.
75
00:02:48,099 --> 00:02:49,265
Is this a sting?
76
00:02:49,301 --> 00:02:51,067
Because you have to show me
your badge if I ask you.
77
00:02:51,102 --> 00:02:52,569
Boss, their show
is on Channel 7...
78
00:02:52,604 --> 00:02:53,736
you know, with the duck.
79
00:02:53,772 --> 00:02:55,471
- That does the weather.
- The weather duck.
80
00:02:55,507 --> 00:02:57,373
Oh. I love ducks. [Chuckles]
81
00:02:57,409 --> 00:02:59,976
[As Donald duck]
Seriously, are you guys cops?
82
00:03:00,011 --> 00:03:01,110
[Laughter]
83
00:03:01,146 --> 00:03:02,579
Whoa! [Laughs]
84
00:03:02,614 --> 00:03:04,981
- Did you see that?
- That was amazing!
85
00:03:05,016 --> 00:03:06,316
[Normal voice]
I really don't do impre...
86
00:03:06,351 --> 00:03:07,684
[as rocky] Adrian!
87
00:03:07,719 --> 00:03:10,408
[Laughter]
88
00:03:11,447 --> 00:03:13,690
Okay, you have to
come on our show.
89
00:03:13,725 --> 00:03:15,692
- [Normal voice] Oh, no, I couldn't.
- You got to.
90
00:03:15,727 --> 00:03:17,160
Yes, the audience
would eat that up,
91
00:03:17,195 --> 00:03:18,928
and... and you can talk
about your restaurant.
92
00:03:18,964 --> 00:03:20,563
Jessica: He'll do it!
93
00:03:25,971 --> 00:03:28,271
The exposure
will increase business,
94
00:03:28,306 --> 00:03:30,473
which will help cover
the unforeseen expenses
95
00:03:30,508 --> 00:03:32,041
from the investment property.
96
00:03:32,077 --> 00:03:33,209
What expenses?
97
00:03:33,245 --> 00:03:34,911
You were so funny today
at the restaurant.
98
00:03:34,946 --> 00:03:36,846
Your impressions...
they're really getting better.
99
00:03:36,882 --> 00:03:38,882
Oh, thank you. [Both chuckle]
100
00:03:38,917 --> 00:03:43,253
Boys, your father is going to be
on "Good Morning Orlando."
101
00:03:43,288 --> 00:03:44,721
With Gus and Mey-Mey?
102
00:03:44,756 --> 00:03:46,256
You just blew my mind!
103
00:03:46,291 --> 00:03:48,458
You just blew my...
my flippin' mind!
104
00:03:48,493 --> 00:03:50,059
Emery: You watch that show?
105
00:03:50,095 --> 00:03:53,363
So that's how
you stay current. Huh.
106
00:03:55,934 --> 00:03:59,802
That's the way love goes
107
00:04:00,939 --> 00:04:04,007
That's the waythat love goes
108
00:04:04,042 --> 00:04:05,742
That's the way love goes
109
00:04:05,777 --> 00:04:09,712
That's the way love goes
110
00:04:09,748 --> 00:04:11,281
What are you doing
with your body?
111
00:04:11,316 --> 00:04:12,615
Celebrating.
112
00:04:12,651 --> 00:04:14,350
Alison is officially
my girlfriend.
113
00:04:14,386 --> 00:04:16,586
What? When did that happen?
114
00:04:16,621 --> 00:04:17,553
[Music stops]
115
00:04:17,589 --> 00:04:18,788
Apparently, two weeks ago.
116
00:04:18,823 --> 00:04:20,890
I had no idea
we were even dating.
117
00:04:20,926 --> 00:04:23,893
[Sighs] I guess that's how
things work in 7th grade.
118
00:04:23,929 --> 00:04:28,064
Love moves fast and quiet,
like Miss Jackson says.
119
00:04:28,099 --> 00:04:29,332
[Snoring]
120
00:04:29,367 --> 00:04:30,633
Oh.
121
00:04:30,669 --> 00:04:33,536
Well, if grandma had been awake,
she would've pressed "play,"
122
00:04:33,571 --> 00:04:36,739
and Janet would have said,
"That's the Way Love Goes."
123
00:04:36,775 --> 00:04:37,941
[Snorts, gasps]
that's the way love goes
124
00:04:37,976 --> 00:04:39,409
No, grandma, wait. It's too...
125
00:04:39,444 --> 00:04:40,843
Aah! Hup!
126
00:04:40,879 --> 00:04:42,011
Can't fight the music.
127
00:04:42,047 --> 00:04:44,314
That's the waythat love goes
128
00:04:45,617 --> 00:04:47,984
'Sup? 'Sup?
129
00:04:48,019 --> 00:04:49,652
'Sup?
130
00:04:49,688 --> 00:04:52,789
Eddie. We were just talking
about Alison's friends.
131
00:04:52,824 --> 00:04:55,312
Ugh. I knew this was coming.
132
00:04:55,332 --> 00:04:57,760
I wish I could hook you guys up
with my girl's homegirls,
133
00:04:57,796 --> 00:04:59,429
but you know why I can't, right?
134
00:04:59,464 --> 00:05:01,931
- What?
- You're gonna make me say it?
135
00:05:01,967 --> 00:05:03,099
Okay.
136
00:05:03,134 --> 00:05:04,634
Brian, you need to grow.
137
00:05:04,669 --> 00:05:07,070
Trent, dry-clean your jacket.
138
00:05:07,105 --> 00:05:08,938
Walter, racism.
139
00:05:08,974 --> 00:05:12,075
And, Dave, I'm sorry,
but you're a teardown.
140
00:05:12,110 --> 00:05:13,543
We already have girlfriends!
141
00:05:13,578 --> 00:05:14,844
What?! Who?
142
00:05:14,879 --> 00:05:17,213
Like we said...
Alison's friends.
143
00:05:18,516 --> 00:05:20,450
Apparently, we've all been
dating since the fall ball.
144
00:05:20,485 --> 00:05:22,618
Seriously? That's awesome!
145
00:05:22,654 --> 00:05:24,620
Guess you guys got
my overflow...
146
00:05:24,656 --> 00:05:26,522
trickle down love-onomics.
147
00:05:26,558 --> 00:05:28,291
- Racism?
- Why am I a teardown?
148
00:05:28,326 --> 00:05:30,693
Your girlfriends asked me
149
00:05:30,729 --> 00:05:33,396
to ask you if you guys
want to group-date.
150
00:05:33,431 --> 00:05:36,866
The mall, today, 3:00,
by the escalators.
151
00:05:36,901 --> 00:05:38,168
- Yeah.
- Awesome!
152
00:05:38,188 --> 00:05:38,917
Yeah.
153
00:05:38,937 --> 00:05:41,904
Wait. Why are you
the messenger, Ned?
154
00:05:41,940 --> 00:05:45,341
[Sighs]
Just be at the mall, man.
155
00:05:48,513 --> 00:05:49,712
Now what?
156
00:05:49,748 --> 00:05:50,947
[Girls giggle]
157
00:05:50,982 --> 00:05:51,814
Look!
158
00:05:51,850 --> 00:05:53,016
Yeah
159
00:05:55,820 --> 00:05:57,687
I-I guess we go up.
160
00:05:57,722 --> 00:06:00,123
All right. Let's go up.
161
00:06:04,029 --> 00:06:05,294
[Gasps] They're coming down!
162
00:06:07,065 --> 00:06:08,131
But we're going up.
163
00:06:10,135 --> 00:06:12,735
- Girls: Hey!
- Boys: Hey!
164
00:06:12,771 --> 00:06:14,237
Trent: Hey.
165
00:06:16,007 --> 00:06:17,807
Eddie: What just happened?
166
00:06:17,842 --> 00:06:19,509
Should we go back down?
167
00:06:19,544 --> 00:06:21,344
Brian: They're not
turning around.
168
00:06:21,379 --> 00:06:23,713
They're walking into wet seal.
169
00:06:23,748 --> 00:06:26,449
I...guess that was it.
170
00:06:26,484 --> 00:06:27,750
Cool!
171
00:06:27,786 --> 00:06:29,619
We just went on our first date!
172
00:06:29,654 --> 00:06:30,820
Yeah!
173
00:06:30,855 --> 00:06:31,921
[Laughs]
174
00:06:31,956 --> 00:06:33,489
Celebrate with an Orange Julius?
175
00:06:33,525 --> 00:06:34,857
Hell yeah, let's do it!
176
00:06:34,893 --> 00:06:38,027
Trent, your nose
is bleeding, man.
177
00:06:38,063 --> 00:06:39,395
Hell yeah, it is!
178
00:06:39,431 --> 00:06:41,164
[Theme music plays]
179
00:06:41,199 --> 00:06:42,498
Gus: Good morning, Orlando.
180
00:06:42,534 --> 00:06:44,367
We want to take you live
to Mindy Torres
181
00:06:44,402 --> 00:06:46,102
out in the field
with some breaking news.
182
00:06:46,137 --> 00:06:48,604
Mindy? A hullabaloo was
caused this morning
183
00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:51,741
when an employee discovered
an endangered gopher tortoise
184
00:06:51,776 --> 00:06:54,410
blocking a rally's drive-through.
185
00:06:55,380 --> 00:06:58,081
People have placed their orders,
but cars are unable
186
00:06:58,116 --> 00:07:01,150
to drive through
to pick up their orders.
187
00:07:01,186 --> 00:07:02,151
[Horn blares]
188
00:07:02,187 --> 00:07:03,719
I need hash browns!
189
00:07:03,755 --> 00:07:05,354
Of course, everyone's first concern
190
00:07:05,390 --> 00:07:07,256
is for the safety of the tortoise.
191
00:07:07,292 --> 00:07:08,391
Coffee!
192
00:07:08,426 --> 00:07:10,359
Well, thank you, Mindy,
and we will check back in
193
00:07:10,395 --> 00:07:12,195
- with you in a few hours for an update.
- Wait, what...
194
00:07:12,230 --> 00:07:13,463
I'll tell you, Gus,
195
00:07:13,498 --> 00:07:16,265
if a turtle was blocking me
from my coffee,
196
00:07:16,301 --> 00:07:18,334
I'd super Mario it.
197
00:07:18,369 --> 00:07:19,469
[Laughs]
198
00:07:21,106 --> 00:07:22,472
Okay.
199
00:07:22,507 --> 00:07:25,108
Well, it's time for the Gus-light,
200
00:07:25,143 --> 00:07:27,477
where we shine a spotlight
on local businesses.
201
00:07:27,512 --> 00:07:30,680
Joining us today is
local entrepreneur...
202
00:07:30,715 --> 00:07:32,515
Louis Huang.
203
00:07:32,550 --> 00:07:34,951
Thank you for taking time out of
your busy schedule to join us.
204
00:07:34,986 --> 00:07:37,520
Well, thank you for, uh,
having me. [Chuckles]
205
00:07:37,555 --> 00:07:41,691
Uh, as you know, my restaurant
is Cattleman's Ranch Steakhouse,
206
00:07:41,726 --> 00:07:47,096
which is exit 4b,
uh, off of I-4, uh, north.
207
00:07:47,132 --> 00:07:50,900
But if you're coming south,
it's exit 4a off of I-4 south.
208
00:07:50,935 --> 00:07:52,635
- Great directions.
- Yeah.
209
00:07:52,670 --> 00:07:54,637
And in addition to being a cattleman,
210
00:07:54,672 --> 00:07:57,440
Louis here is also a funnyman.
211
00:07:57,475 --> 00:07:58,508
[Laughter]
212
00:07:58,543 --> 00:08:00,143
- He did some amazing
- Right?
213
00:08:00,178 --> 00:08:02,378
celebrity impressions for us the other day.
214
00:08:02,413 --> 00:08:03,513
Yes, he did. [Laughs]
215
00:08:03,548 --> 00:08:05,181
[As Rocky]
I can't see nothin'.
216
00:08:05,216 --> 00:08:06,816
Cut my eyes, Mick. Cut 'em.
217
00:08:06,851 --> 00:08:07,984
I can't see.
218
00:08:08,019 --> 00:08:09,785
[Both laugh]
219
00:08:09,821 --> 00:08:12,622
Hey, Rocky Balboa is
in the studio all of a sudden.
220
00:08:12,657 --> 00:08:13,656
[Normal voice] You got it!
221
00:08:13,691 --> 00:08:14,891
[Laughter]
222
00:08:14,926 --> 00:08:16,492
Why... why is that so funny?
223
00:08:16,528 --> 00:08:19,228
[As Donald duck]
Because Stallone talks funny!
224
00:08:19,264 --> 00:08:21,831
[Both laugh]
225
00:08:21,866 --> 00:08:23,032
You're killing it!
226
00:08:23,067 --> 00:08:24,667
You're very good!
227
00:08:24,702 --> 00:08:26,502
What have you done?
228
00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:31,466
You're supposed to go out there
229
00:08:31,502 --> 00:08:34,623
and promote the restaurant,
not make a fool out of yourself.
230
00:08:34,643 --> 00:08:37,253
[As Arnold Jackson] Whatchu talkin'
'bout, woman? You love my impressions.
231
00:08:37,273 --> 00:08:38,272
[Normal voice]
That was Arnold.
232
00:08:38,308 --> 00:08:39,407
Not on television.
233
00:08:39,442 --> 00:08:40,708
What's the difference?
234
00:08:40,743 --> 00:08:43,277
Name one Chinese person on TV.
235
00:08:43,313 --> 00:08:44,212
Pat Morita.
236
00:08:44,247 --> 00:08:45,279
Japanese, and you know it.
237
00:08:45,315 --> 00:08:46,414
What's your point?
238
00:08:46,449 --> 00:08:49,650
We don't get opportunities
to be on TV.
239
00:08:49,686 --> 00:08:53,187
That's why when we do, we need
to present our best face...
240
00:08:53,223 --> 00:08:55,656
not clown around,
like you did today.
241
00:08:55,692 --> 00:08:56,757
They loved me.
242
00:08:56,793 --> 00:08:58,859
You know what it reminded me of?
243
00:08:58,895 --> 00:09:00,595
Your favorite character.
244
00:09:00,630 --> 00:09:01,495
No.
245
00:09:01,531 --> 00:09:02,863
From "Sixteen Candles."
246
00:09:02,899 --> 00:09:03,631
Don't say it.
247
00:09:03,666 --> 00:09:06,467
Long... Duk... Dong.
248
00:09:07,470 --> 00:09:10,071
Yeah, so, 3 bucks an hour
to make little pizza tables...
249
00:09:10,106 --> 00:09:11,105
not bad, right?
250
00:09:11,140 --> 00:09:12,640
Oh, here comes a cab.
251
00:09:12,675 --> 00:09:14,609
You should yell
[As Long Duk Dong] "automobile!"
252
00:09:14,644 --> 00:09:16,377
Ha ha. Right.
253
00:09:16,412 --> 00:09:17,745
[Both chuckle]
254
00:09:19,082 --> 00:09:21,215
Louis, you missed
your opportunity, man.
255
00:09:21,251 --> 00:09:22,316
You should've yelled
256
00:09:22,352 --> 00:09:24,952
[as Long Duk Dong]
"Oh, sexy girlfriend!"
257
00:09:24,988 --> 00:09:26,153
[Chuckles] Right.
258
00:09:26,189 --> 00:09:27,755
[Laughing] Yeah. Yeah.
259
00:09:27,790 --> 00:09:29,023
[Ice rattles]
260
00:09:29,058 --> 00:09:30,958
The Chinese guy in that movie
261
00:09:30,994 --> 00:09:34,662
became what everybody thought
all Chinese people were.
262
00:09:34,697 --> 00:09:37,298
He made people think
that was okay.
263
00:09:37,333 --> 00:09:39,834
That's why when we get
opportunities like this,
264
00:09:39,869 --> 00:09:40,868
it matters.
265
00:09:40,903 --> 00:09:42,536
Look, I was just a person
266
00:09:42,572 --> 00:09:44,572
joking around
on a morning talk show.
267
00:09:44,607 --> 00:09:46,941
This is not
a Long Duk Dong situation.
268
00:09:46,976 --> 00:09:49,243
Hello, dad. Saw the show.
269
00:09:49,279 --> 00:09:50,378
Very hurtful.
270
00:09:50,413 --> 00:09:51,579
Really?
271
00:09:51,614 --> 00:09:53,547
I taught you Donald Duck.
272
00:09:53,583 --> 00:09:55,716
[As Donald duck]
And you stole it!
273
00:09:55,752 --> 00:09:56,751
[Sighs]
274
00:10:00,256 --> 00:10:03,090
Fellas, we're doing it!
275
00:10:03,126 --> 00:10:04,225
We livin'.
276
00:10:04,260 --> 00:10:06,427
Remember when we went
on the mall date
277
00:10:06,462 --> 00:10:07,528
with our girlfriends
278
00:10:07,563 --> 00:10:08,929
and they were like
[High-pitched] "hi!"
279
00:10:08,965 --> 00:10:10,931
And we were like
[Deep voice] "hi"?
280
00:10:10,967 --> 00:10:11,799
[Chuckles]
281
00:10:11,834 --> 00:10:13,134
[Chuckles]
282
00:10:13,169 --> 00:10:14,535
Dave.
283
00:10:14,570 --> 00:10:16,671
Becca G. wants to break up with you.
284
00:10:19,742 --> 00:10:22,109
I don't understand.
285
00:10:22,145 --> 00:10:23,911
I thought I was dating Sarah S.
286
00:10:23,946 --> 00:10:25,379
What? No.
287
00:10:25,415 --> 00:10:28,516
I'm dating Sarah S.
You're dating Becca G.
288
00:10:28,551 --> 00:10:29,750
Well, you were.
289
00:10:29,786 --> 00:10:31,652
No, I'm dating Becca G.
290
00:10:31,688 --> 00:10:33,888
But wait. Then why
did she break up with you?
291
00:10:33,923 --> 00:10:36,757
Hold up. Did you just say
"Becca G." or "Becca T."?
292
00:10:36,793 --> 00:10:38,326
'Cause I'm dating Becca T.
293
00:10:38,361 --> 00:10:39,293
I think.
294
00:10:39,329 --> 00:10:40,761
This is messed up.
295
00:10:40,797 --> 00:10:42,630
You guys don't even know
who you're dating?!
296
00:10:42,665 --> 00:10:43,631
Do you?
297
00:10:43,666 --> 00:10:45,933
Yeah, man. I'm dating Alison.
298
00:10:45,968 --> 00:10:47,301
How can you be so sure?
299
00:10:47,337 --> 00:10:49,670
Because we really like each other,
300
00:10:49,706 --> 00:10:52,206
and we danced in the mosh pit
at the fall ball.
301
00:10:52,241 --> 00:10:53,874
She pushed me
in the mosh pit, too.
302
00:10:53,910 --> 00:10:54,875
Me too.
303
00:10:54,911 --> 00:10:56,077
Me too.
304
00:10:56,112 --> 00:10:58,012
Me too.
305
00:11:00,583 --> 00:11:02,516
[Country music playing]
306
00:11:02,552 --> 00:11:05,219
Hey, we saw you
on "Good Morning Orlando."
307
00:11:05,254 --> 00:11:06,320
Hilarious!
308
00:11:06,356 --> 00:11:07,421
[As Rambo] Don't push it,
309
00:11:07,457 --> 00:11:09,123
or I'll give you a war
you won't believe.
310
00:11:09,158 --> 00:11:10,157
[Laughter]
311
00:11:10,193 --> 00:11:13,194
Man: [As Long Duk Dong]
Automobile!
312
00:11:14,197 --> 00:11:16,230
What did you just say?
313
00:11:16,265 --> 00:11:18,833
I ordered the veal.
314
00:11:18,868 --> 00:11:19,867
He did.
315
00:11:19,902 --> 00:11:21,435
Man: [Laughing]
This guy cracks me up!
316
00:11:21,471 --> 00:11:23,671
[As Rambo] I'll give you a war
you won't believe!
317
00:11:23,706 --> 00:11:24,705
[Laughter]
318
00:11:24,741 --> 00:11:26,474
Jessica: Long... Duk... Dong!
319
00:11:26,509 --> 00:11:29,410
Man: [As Long Duk Dong]
Automobile!
320
00:11:29,445 --> 00:11:32,213
Sexy girlfriend!
321
00:11:32,248 --> 00:11:33,647
[Distorted laughter]
322
00:11:33,683 --> 00:11:35,182
And then everyone was laughing,
323
00:11:35,218 --> 00:11:37,518
but in a gross way,
which made me feel gross.
324
00:11:37,553 --> 00:11:39,587
Are people laughing with me
or at me?
325
00:11:39,622 --> 00:11:41,956
At you.
That's what I was saying.
326
00:11:41,991 --> 00:11:43,624
I need to go back on that show.
327
00:11:43,659 --> 00:11:46,494
I will iron your television pants.
328
00:11:46,529 --> 00:11:48,629
[Black Sheep's
"The Choice is Yours" plays]
329
00:11:48,664 --> 00:11:51,065
This or that? This or that?
330
00:11:51,100 --> 00:11:53,000
This or that? This or that?
331
00:11:53,035 --> 00:11:55,002
You can get with this
or you can get with that
332
00:11:55,037 --> 00:11:57,972
You can get with this
or you can get with that
333
00:11:58,007 --> 00:12:01,041
So, Alison pushed us all
in the mosh pit,
334
00:12:01,077 --> 00:12:05,012
but were those pushes
platonic or passionate?
335
00:12:05,047 --> 00:12:06,747
Evidence is inconclusive.
336
00:12:07,750 --> 00:12:09,083
Who are you, woman?
337
00:12:09,118 --> 00:12:10,985
Well, at least we know
who you're dating, Walter.
338
00:12:11,020 --> 00:12:12,186
What do you mean?
339
00:12:13,156 --> 00:12:14,388
Well, you know...
340
00:12:14,424 --> 00:12:15,923
I'm just saying...
341
00:12:17,059 --> 00:12:18,793
I-it's the south.
342
00:12:18,828 --> 00:12:19,827
[Exhales sharply]
343
00:12:19,862 --> 00:12:21,195
That's messed up, man.
344
00:12:21,230 --> 00:12:25,399
I mean, Edith is the one I like,
but it's unrelated.
345
00:12:26,269 --> 00:12:28,536
There's got to be a way to figure
out who our girlfriends are.
346
00:12:28,571 --> 00:12:30,137
Why don't you just ask them?
347
00:12:30,173 --> 00:12:32,239
You crazy, ese?
348
00:12:32,275 --> 00:12:34,375
You have any idea
how mad they'll be at us?
349
00:12:34,410 --> 00:12:36,544
- I think if you're honest...
- Just go away, okay?
350
00:12:36,579 --> 00:12:38,345
This is big-kid business.
351
00:12:38,381 --> 00:12:40,347
Hey, I'm just here
to get my tub of gak
352
00:12:40,383 --> 00:12:42,416
you borrowed without asking.
353
00:12:44,253 --> 00:12:47,154
Of course there's hair in it.
354
00:12:47,190 --> 00:12:50,291
[Telephone rings]
355
00:12:50,326 --> 00:12:51,759
Hello?
356
00:12:54,030 --> 00:12:55,129
It's one of the girls.
357
00:12:56,365 --> 00:12:59,200
[Muffled] Is it Becca G.?
Did she get my letter?
358
00:12:59,235 --> 00:13:01,202
I'll find out who it is.
359
00:13:01,237 --> 00:13:02,770
Sorry about that.
360
00:13:02,805 --> 00:13:04,805
So, you like soda?
361
00:13:04,841 --> 00:13:05,739
Mm-hmm.
362
00:13:05,775 --> 00:13:07,708
Uh-huh.
363
00:13:07,743 --> 00:13:10,344
Yeah, sure. That sounds great.
364
00:13:10,379 --> 00:13:11,879
Peace.
365
00:13:11,914 --> 00:13:12,646
[Receiver clicks]
366
00:13:12,682 --> 00:13:14,181
I don't know who that was.
367
00:13:14,217 --> 00:13:15,850
[All groan]
368
00:13:15,885 --> 00:13:18,152
But the girls do want to have
another group date...
369
00:13:18,187 --> 00:13:19,553
at the roller rink tomorrow.
370
00:13:19,589 --> 00:13:20,788
That's suicide!
371
00:13:20,823 --> 00:13:22,022
They'll bust us wide open,
372
00:13:22,058 --> 00:13:23,724
and then none of us
will have girlfriends.
373
00:13:23,759 --> 00:13:25,326
I can't go back to being single.
374
00:13:25,361 --> 00:13:29,063
At the rink, all of us will
fall down at the same time,
375
00:13:29,098 --> 00:13:31,398
and then the girl
who's our girlfriend
376
00:13:31,434 --> 00:13:34,001
will come to help us
because she loves us,
377
00:13:34,036 --> 00:13:35,769
and then we'll know who she is.
378
00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:40,808
What if two girls help us up?
Do we get two?
379
00:13:41,811 --> 00:13:43,377
Well, we finally have an answer
380
00:13:43,412 --> 00:13:45,479
to that question
everyone's been asking...
381
00:13:45,515 --> 00:13:47,515
why doesn't anybody
move the damn thing?
382
00:13:47,550 --> 00:13:49,116
Apparently, human touch
383
00:13:49,151 --> 00:13:52,286
would render the endangered
tortoise infertile.
384
00:13:52,321 --> 00:13:53,621
Maybe that tortoise should try
385
00:13:53,656 --> 00:13:55,723
being an unmarried woman
over 40.
386
00:13:55,758 --> 00:13:56,724
Oh! [Chuckles]
387
00:13:56,759 --> 00:13:59,193
Stay strong, mind.
He's out there.
388
00:13:59,228 --> 00:14:00,160
Yeah, yeah.
389
00:14:00,196 --> 00:14:01,996
Nothing sadder
than a woman over 27.
390
00:14:02,031 --> 00:14:02,863
Oh.
391
00:14:02,899 --> 00:14:05,099
Next up, we have our old friend
392
00:14:05,134 --> 00:14:08,035
who's back in the studio...
Louis Huang.
393
00:14:08,070 --> 00:14:10,337
Louis, you were cracking us up
the other day
394
00:14:10,373 --> 00:14:12,072
with your impressions.
[Chuckles]
395
00:14:12,108 --> 00:14:14,308
Well, you know, I'm glad
I exist to entertain you.
396
00:14:15,244 --> 00:14:17,811
So, do you do Bill Cosby?
397
00:14:17,847 --> 00:14:19,880
I love him.
398
00:14:19,916 --> 00:14:22,850
Me too. America's moral compass.
399
00:14:22,885 --> 00:14:24,685
Well, you know,
I'm already doing an impression.
400
00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:26,854
[Gasping, laughing]
401
00:14:26,889 --> 00:14:28,856
Of... of what?
402
00:14:28,891 --> 00:14:31,358
A successful
Chinese-American business owner
403
00:14:31,394 --> 00:14:34,637
who's worked hard
for everything he has.
404
00:14:37,667 --> 00:14:38,866
Uh, o-okay.
405
00:14:38,901 --> 00:14:40,134
All right, how about we, uh...
[Chuckles]
406
00:14:40,169 --> 00:14:41,535
How about we talk about
your restaurant, right?
407
00:14:41,571 --> 00:14:43,103
Yeah! That seems to be
what you want to...
408
00:14:43,139 --> 00:14:44,438
Okay. Well, it's a steakhouse.
409
00:14:44,473 --> 00:14:46,440
- Oh, yum!
- An American restaurant.
410
00:14:46,475 --> 00:14:48,976
That's right... Chinese people
can make all kinds of food.
411
00:14:49,011 --> 00:14:52,246
Oh! I made pot stickers once...
from frozen.
412
00:14:52,281 --> 00:14:55,082
So, I-is that all Asian culture
is to you... pot stickers?
413
00:14:55,117 --> 00:14:56,283
No! No! I didn't mean that.
414
00:14:56,319 --> 00:14:57,618
You know what?
Let's talk about race.
415
00:14:57,653 --> 00:14:59,653
No, that's a little too serious
for the Gus-light...
416
00:14:59,689 --> 00:15:01,155
- Yeah!
- ...as far as I'm concerned.
417
00:15:01,190 --> 00:15:03,624
Oh, okay. So you don't want me
to be serious?
418
00:15:03,659 --> 00:15:06,293
You just want me to be
joking around, be the clown.
419
00:15:06,329 --> 00:15:09,663
"The Chinese guy's on TV!
Make everybody laugh!"
420
00:15:09,699 --> 00:15:11,246
Both: Let's go to commercial.
421
00:15:12,293 --> 00:15:14,093
Why were aou so serious?!
422
00:15:14,128 --> 00:15:16,896
It's a morning show. They have
a duck that does the weather.
423
00:15:16,931 --> 00:15:18,331
You told me that...
424
00:15:18,366 --> 00:15:20,299
y-you said
they were laughing at...
425
00:15:20,335 --> 00:15:21,834
I... you got in my head!
426
00:15:21,869 --> 00:15:22,969
Well, now everybody thinks
427
00:15:23,004 --> 00:15:24,870
Chinese people
have no sense of humor!
428
00:15:24,906 --> 00:15:26,439
What? Did they think
we had one before?
429
00:15:26,474 --> 00:15:28,908
Well, I don't know,
but they definitely don't now.
430
00:15:28,943 --> 00:15:30,676
You need to go back out there
431
00:15:30,712 --> 00:15:33,579
and show people
that you can laugh at yourself.
432
00:15:33,615 --> 00:15:35,381
But be serious, too.
433
00:15:35,416 --> 00:15:39,251
A couple of light jokes...
nothing political.
434
00:15:39,287 --> 00:15:41,320
But don't be boring, either.
435
00:15:41,356 --> 00:15:45,280
Don't make waves,
but be interesting.
436
00:15:45,300 --> 00:15:47,188
And pleasant.
437
00:15:47,208 --> 00:15:49,962
And also smart.
You should be smart.
438
00:15:49,998 --> 00:15:50,763
[Sighs]
439
00:15:50,798 --> 00:15:51,964
And tall.
440
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:56,068
You realize doing all that
is impossible, right?
441
00:15:56,507 --> 00:15:58,137
I know.
442
00:15:58,172 --> 00:16:00,239
I just want it to be perfect.
443
00:16:00,274 --> 00:16:03,175
Well, one person
can't be everything.
444
00:16:03,211 --> 00:16:05,077
That weather duck
isn't going out there
445
00:16:05,113 --> 00:16:07,380
thinking about representing
all ducks.
446
00:16:07,415 --> 00:16:08,914
No, he's probably thinking
447
00:16:08,950 --> 00:16:10,750
[as Donald Duck]
"What the heck is going on here?"
448
00:16:10,785 --> 00:16:12,418
[Both laugh]
449
00:16:12,453 --> 00:16:14,887
Oh, that's not funny!
That's not funny.
450
00:16:14,922 --> 00:16:17,590
Yes, it is,
and it's okay that it's funny.
451
00:16:17,625 --> 00:16:19,291
And sometimes
a guy doing an impression
452
00:16:19,327 --> 00:16:20,826
is just a guy
doing an impression.
453
00:16:20,862 --> 00:16:21,861
[Sighs]
454
00:16:21,896 --> 00:16:24,196
Okay. Fine.
455
00:16:24,232 --> 00:16:27,099
Then go back on the show
and just be yourself.
456
00:16:27,135 --> 00:16:28,668
I'm banned from the studio.
457
00:16:30,399 --> 00:16:32,989
Maybe you don't have to
go back into the studio.
458
00:16:33,875 --> 00:16:38,110
[Dance music playing]
459
00:16:38,146 --> 00:16:40,913
Okay, guys, remember the plan...
460
00:16:40,948 --> 00:16:42,181
same time, fall.
461
00:16:42,216 --> 00:16:45,518
Whichever girl comes to each
of us, that's our girlfriend.
462
00:16:45,553 --> 00:16:47,286
Got it.
463
00:16:55,396 --> 00:16:57,029
[Thud] Damn it, Brian!
464
00:16:57,065 --> 00:16:58,531
We're supposed to fall together!
465
00:16:58,566 --> 00:17:00,599
I have weak ankles.
466
00:17:00,635 --> 00:17:03,102
Man: Couples skate.Grab your partner's hand.
467
00:17:04,639 --> 00:17:05,838
Come on. Let's skate.
468
00:17:05,873 --> 00:17:07,840
[Soft music playing]
469
00:17:13,848 --> 00:17:15,214
Later, nerds.
470
00:17:24,192 --> 00:17:26,058
That's it. I'm going in.
471
00:17:27,395 --> 00:17:28,427
Ew!
472
00:17:28,463 --> 00:17:30,396
Why are you grabbing my hand?
473
00:17:30,431 --> 00:17:32,064
I thought
you were my girlfriend.
474
00:17:32,100 --> 00:17:34,633
What are you talking about,
Trent? I'm your girlfriend.
475
00:17:34,669 --> 00:17:37,269
How do you not know
who your own girlfriend is?
476
00:17:37,305 --> 00:17:38,804
Hey! Leave him alone!
477
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:40,339
None of us knew
who we were dating.
478
00:17:40,374 --> 00:17:41,373
Eddie: What?!
479
00:17:41,409 --> 00:17:42,575
Why you gonna tell them that?
480
00:17:42,610 --> 00:17:45,444
Wait... you didn't know
we were dating?
481
00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:46,846
I mean, I did, but, you know,
482
00:17:46,881 --> 00:17:48,814
you pushed a lot of people
in the mosh pit,
483
00:17:48,850 --> 00:17:50,349
so I made
an evidence board and...
484
00:17:50,384 --> 00:17:51,951
I can't believe this.
485
00:17:53,621 --> 00:17:56,188
[Singsong voice]
Couple coming through!
486
00:17:59,894 --> 00:18:01,327
[Voice breaking]
Breaking news...
487
00:18:01,362 --> 00:18:04,497
another tortoise has appeared
in the shrubbery,
488
00:18:04,532 --> 00:18:06,198
in an apparent effort
489
00:18:06,234 --> 00:18:08,334
to guide the first tortoise
to safety.
490
00:18:08,369 --> 00:18:09,368
[Chuckling] Oh...
491
00:18:09,403 --> 00:18:11,337
Um, I'm glad
you said that, uh, Mindy.
492
00:18:11,372 --> 00:18:12,538
Sorry to barge in like this,
493
00:18:12,573 --> 00:18:13,973
but they banned me
from the studio.
494
00:18:14,008 --> 00:18:15,808
Uh, Gus, Mey-Mey...
495
00:18:15,843 --> 00:18:17,943
I just want to apologize
for yesterday.
496
00:18:17,979 --> 00:18:20,279
I wasn't myself,
and, uh, you know,
497
00:18:20,314 --> 00:18:22,915
myself is...
is all I can be, really,
498
00:18:22,950 --> 00:18:25,451
and occasionally
a smooth criminal.
499
00:18:25,486 --> 00:18:27,820
[As Michael Jackson]
Shamone! Eee-hee!
500
00:18:28,856 --> 00:18:30,923
[Both laugh]
501
00:18:30,958 --> 00:18:32,958
Look at that.
Hey, forget about the Jackson 5.
502
00:18:32,994 --> 00:18:34,493
We got the Jackson 6 right here.
503
00:18:34,529 --> 00:18:35,494
[Laughing] Oh!
504
00:18:36,264 --> 00:18:38,597
I can't believe
you get paid more than me.
505
00:18:38,633 --> 00:18:40,699
Louis: Ooh!
506
00:18:40,735 --> 00:18:41,767
Ah! Ah!
507
00:18:41,803 --> 00:18:43,435
Michael Jackson?!
508
00:18:43,471 --> 00:18:45,905
I taught him that!
509
00:18:45,940 --> 00:18:47,239
Ooh!
510
00:18:49,644 --> 00:18:52,011
[Sighs]
511
00:18:52,046 --> 00:18:55,314
Did you figure out
your "big-kids business"?
512
00:18:58,386 --> 00:18:59,952
What's wrong?
513
00:18:59,987 --> 00:19:02,054
I screwed things up with Alison.
514
00:19:02,089 --> 00:19:04,523
I really liked her,
and I don't know what to do.
515
00:19:05,827 --> 00:19:07,893
Have you tried talking to her?
516
00:19:07,929 --> 00:19:08,861
No.
517
00:19:08,896 --> 00:19:10,629
Why not?
518
00:19:10,665 --> 00:19:12,498
Well, 'cause I don't think
519
00:19:12,533 --> 00:19:14,600
that's how they do things
in seventh grade.
520
00:19:14,635 --> 00:19:16,235
How's that working for you?
521
00:19:19,807 --> 00:19:21,273
Alison.
522
00:19:22,310 --> 00:19:24,176
Hey, you got anything
to say to her,
523
00:19:24,212 --> 00:19:25,878
you can pass a note through me.
524
00:19:25,913 --> 00:19:26,946
It's okay, Ned.
525
00:19:29,984 --> 00:19:31,487
I'm listening.
526
00:19:32,186 --> 00:19:34,353
To be honest, I didn't even know
we were dating,
527
00:19:34,388 --> 00:19:36,021
and when I found out we were,
528
00:19:36,057 --> 00:19:38,123
I didn't want to do anything
to mess it up,
529
00:19:38,159 --> 00:19:39,792
because I like you a lot.
530
00:19:39,827 --> 00:19:42,061
And I don't know if we're
supposed to be saying that
531
00:19:42,096 --> 00:19:44,296
in seventh grade
or if we're supposed to be
532
00:19:44,332 --> 00:19:46,398
having this conversation
on an escalator.
533
00:19:46,434 --> 00:19:48,836
I don't know how
any of this works.
534
00:19:49,116 --> 00:19:50,836
Yeah. It's weird.
535
00:19:50,872 --> 00:19:52,838
I had so much fun with you
at the fall ball,
536
00:19:52,874 --> 00:19:54,974
but then my friends were like,
"you can't talk to him.
537
00:19:55,009 --> 00:19:55,975
You're dating him."
538
00:19:56,010 --> 00:19:58,477
Well, I'm sorry we broke up.
539
00:19:58,512 --> 00:20:00,913
- Broke up? We didn't break up.
- We didn't?
540
00:20:00,948 --> 00:20:03,582
No. That was our first fight,
and we got through it.
541
00:20:03,618 --> 00:20:04,650
We did?
542
00:20:04,685 --> 00:20:07,086
Yes. And now
we're stronger than ever.
543
00:20:07,121 --> 00:20:08,354
A'ight. A'ight.
544
00:20:08,389 --> 00:20:11,056
So, are all my friends
still dating your friends?
545
00:20:11,092 --> 00:20:12,224
Oh, hell no.
546
00:20:12,260 --> 00:20:14,860
In fact, they shouldn't
come around for a while...
547
00:20:14,896 --> 00:20:16,228
especially Dave.
548
00:20:16,264 --> 00:20:17,830
A'ight. A'ight.
549
00:20:17,865 --> 00:20:18,864
That makes sense.
550
00:20:18,900 --> 00:20:20,032
Walk me to class?
551
00:20:20,067 --> 00:20:22,768
Okay, but just so I'm clear...
552
00:20:22,803 --> 00:20:23,836
you're my girlfriend?
553
00:20:23,871 --> 00:20:25,070
Yes.
554
00:20:25,106 --> 00:20:27,239
I'll explain on the way.
Come on.
555
00:20:32,106 --> 00:20:36,315
The number-one dating rule
is to listen to a woman.
556
00:20:36,335 --> 00:20:39,945
"Listen... To... Her."
557
00:20:39,981 --> 00:20:43,716
- What if what she's saying is, uh...
- Boring?
558
00:20:43,751 --> 00:20:45,718
You should still
be listening to her.
559
00:20:45,753 --> 00:20:47,586
Even if she's
talking about horses?
560
00:20:47,622 --> 00:20:49,855
Especially when
she's talking about horses.
561
00:20:49,890 --> 00:20:51,757
What if you're scared of horses?
562
00:20:51,792 --> 00:20:54,326
Don't be scared of horses!
563
00:20:56,964 --> 00:21:00,331
Trent:
"Don't... be... scared... of horses."
564
00:21:00,351 --> 00:21:03,232
sync and corrected by ninh
www.addic7ed.com
565
00:21:03,282 --> 00:21:07,832
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