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1
00:00:05,814 --> 00:00:07,999
Kick.
2
00:00:10,269 --> 00:00:12,470
Okay, so, I'll drop you off
at work,
3
00:00:12,504 --> 00:00:13,738
go to the dry-cleaners,
4
00:00:13,772 --> 00:00:15,639
and then take the Robertsons
to go see some condos.
5
00:00:15,641 --> 00:00:18,409
- Sorry. What's the plan?
- Oh, don't forget...
6
00:00:18,443 --> 00:00:21,178
we have to take
the fryer grease to the dump.
7
00:00:21,213 --> 00:00:22,947
Eddie: Um, hello?
8
00:00:22,998 --> 00:00:24,715
Basketball game?
9
00:00:24,749 --> 00:00:25,516
Right.
10
00:00:25,550 --> 00:00:26,984
So, dump, restaurant,
11
00:00:27,018 --> 00:00:28,836
cleaners,
basketball game, condos.
12
00:00:30,096 --> 00:00:32,656
_
13
00:00:33,525 --> 00:00:35,640
S02E03
Shaquille O'Neal
14
00:00:35,660 --> 00:00:36,827
Fresh off the boat
15
00:00:36,829 --> 00:00:38,662
I'm gettin' mine
everywhere I go
16
00:00:38,713 --> 00:00:40,831
If you don't know, homey,
now you know
17
00:00:40,866 --> 00:00:42,082
Fresh off the boat
18
00:00:42,134 --> 00:00:44,502
Homey, you don't know
where I come from
19
00:00:44,553 --> 00:00:45,803
But I know where I'm goin'
20
00:00:45,837 --> 00:00:47,705
I'm fresh off the boat
21
00:00:47,739 --> 00:00:50,674
sync and corrected by ninh
www.addic7ed.com
22
00:00:50,725 --> 00:00:52,843
Hurry up and eat breakfast
while I shower.
23
00:00:52,894 --> 00:00:55,062
I don't want to be late
for work.
24
00:00:55,814 --> 00:00:58,983
Make sure they don't turn their
breakfast into curse words.
25
00:00:59,017 --> 00:01:01,518
Eddie: That just floated
onto my spoon... I swear.
26
00:01:01,569 --> 00:01:03,604
Relax. I'm a cool dad.
27
00:01:03,655 --> 00:01:04,822
[Door closes]
28
00:01:04,856 --> 00:01:07,157
Boys, you know how our
anniversary is coming up?
29
00:01:07,192 --> 00:01:08,325
- No.
- Of course.
30
00:01:08,359 --> 00:01:10,694
12 years...
the silk and linen anniversary.
31
00:01:10,745 --> 00:01:13,497
I finally figured out
the perfect present for mom.
32
00:01:13,531 --> 00:01:14,832
You say that every year.
33
00:01:14,866 --> 00:01:17,034
Why do I want
to watch money wilt?
34
00:01:17,036 --> 00:01:19,286
Interesting how you'll pay
a stranger to cook for us,
35
00:01:19,337 --> 00:01:21,455
but you expect me
to do it for free.
36
00:01:21,506 --> 00:01:22,589
Beautiful.
37
00:01:22,624 --> 00:01:23,757
Does it also come with a sign
that says,
38
00:01:23,791 --> 00:01:25,259
"cut my throat and take this"?
39
00:01:25,293 --> 00:01:27,461
I admit, your mother's
difficult to shop for.
40
00:01:27,512 --> 00:01:29,379
But I realized my mistake.
41
00:01:29,381 --> 00:01:32,599
I need to give her
a hot, romantic experience
42
00:01:32,634 --> 00:01:34,134
like I did on our wedding night.
43
00:01:35,687 --> 00:01:37,104
I'm a little nervous.
44
00:01:37,972 --> 00:01:40,807
Don't worry.
You're in good hands.
45
00:01:49,651 --> 00:01:51,785
We need something
to tie these to!
46
00:01:51,819 --> 00:01:54,154
[Chuckles]
47
00:01:54,205 --> 00:01:55,989
Buying the van...
48
00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:57,657
that's how you spent
your wedding night?
49
00:01:57,709 --> 00:01:58,875
Yep.
50
00:01:58,910 --> 00:02:00,744
And this year,
I'm gonna re-create the magic
51
00:02:00,828 --> 00:02:02,996
by taking her shopping
for a second car.
52
00:02:03,047 --> 00:02:04,214
Mom's never gonna go for that.
53
00:02:04,248 --> 00:02:05,248
She hates spending money.
54
00:02:05,299 --> 00:02:07,000
But she knows
we need another car,
55
00:02:07,051 --> 00:02:08,385
and she loves negotiating.
56
00:02:08,419 --> 00:02:10,754
Just to throw out
another option...
57
00:02:10,805 --> 00:02:13,390
what if I told you there was
a mode of transportation
58
00:02:13,424 --> 00:02:16,426
that is cheaper
and way more fun?
59
00:02:16,477 --> 00:02:18,929
[Bell dinging]
60
00:02:19,981 --> 00:02:21,848
You kids want
a summertime treat?
61
00:02:21,899 --> 00:02:23,900
It's too hot for hot dogs.
62
00:02:23,935 --> 00:02:26,486
Is it?
63
00:02:27,438 --> 00:02:29,172
[Twinkle!]
64
00:02:29,207 --> 00:02:30,740
Whoa! It's the hot dogger!
65
00:02:30,775 --> 00:02:33,410
Now your favorite food
is your favorite toy!
66
00:02:33,444 --> 00:02:36,529
You supply the buns!
67
00:02:37,164 --> 00:02:38,365
We're not getting that.
68
00:02:38,416 --> 00:02:41,418
Don't worry.
You guys will be nice and cool
69
00:02:41,452 --> 00:02:45,088
in the air-conditioned luxury
of this glamorous baby...
70
00:02:45,122 --> 00:02:49,676
a brand-new 1995 Honda Accord
in champagne pearl,
71
00:02:49,710 --> 00:02:51,961
the most elegant color
in the neutral rainbow.
72
00:02:51,963 --> 00:02:54,130
So you'd rather get
a boring car?
73
00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:56,516
You know who doesn't think
accords are boring?
74
00:02:56,550 --> 00:02:57,934
Your hero... Shaq.
75
00:02:57,968 --> 00:02:59,302
That's right.
76
00:02:59,353 --> 00:03:02,222
I'm taking your mom down
to Shaquille O'Neal motors.
77
00:03:02,273 --> 00:03:05,108
Why is Shaq selling a car
he can't even fit into?
78
00:03:05,142 --> 00:03:06,476
Come along and ask him.
79
00:03:06,478 --> 00:03:08,111
Dad, he's not gonna be there.
80
00:03:08,145 --> 00:03:09,479
It's a licensing deal.
81
00:03:09,530 --> 00:03:11,147
They paid the diesel
a bunch of money
82
00:03:11,149 --> 00:03:13,149
to slap his name on something.
83
00:03:14,041 --> 00:03:16,152
"Shaq Fu."
84
00:03:16,154 --> 00:03:17,704
Jessica: Louis, please.
85
00:03:17,738 --> 00:03:19,822
No anniversary presents this year.
86
00:03:19,874 --> 00:03:22,625
Let's just go back inside
and water the plants.
87
00:03:22,660 --> 00:03:24,627
No, it's gonna be great.
Trust me.
88
00:03:24,662 --> 00:03:26,579
Bye, boys. Listen to grandma.
89
00:03:27,631 --> 00:03:30,049
M'lady.
90
00:03:30,084 --> 00:03:31,334
[Metal screeching]
91
00:03:33,170 --> 00:03:35,338
Ugh!
92
00:03:35,389 --> 00:03:36,639
Some old funyuns.
93
00:03:39,510 --> 00:03:42,095
The romance is just beginning.
94
00:03:47,101 --> 00:03:48,568
[Metal screeches]
95
00:03:48,602 --> 00:03:51,737
Don't wait up, boys.
We'll be gone for hours.
96
00:03:53,574 --> 00:03:56,392
Sounds like it's time to party.
97
00:04:03,917 --> 00:04:05,535
- You got one, too?
- Mm-hmm.
98
00:04:06,537 --> 00:04:07,703
Shampoo?
99
00:04:07,723 --> 00:04:09,486
I don't want to show up
empty-handed.
100
00:04:09,506 --> 00:04:10,957
Okay.
101
00:04:11,008 --> 00:04:14,210
Uh-oh. Here comes trouble.
102
00:04:14,261 --> 00:04:16,462
Ooh-la-la. Pert plus!
103
00:04:16,513 --> 00:04:17,463
Thank you!
104
00:04:17,514 --> 00:04:18,714
It bothf us.
105
00:04:18,716 --> 00:04:19,765
What's this noise?
106
00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:21,050
Eddie, Emery,
107
00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:24,053
I want you to meet Oinker,
Frisky, Can-Do,
108
00:04:24,104 --> 00:04:26,522
Tina Pham, Peanut,
Shamus, Pi, and Wally-Wally.
109
00:04:26,556 --> 00:04:28,891
Hello! Evan, I...
110
00:04:28,942 --> 00:04:31,227
Stop. Are those beanie babies?
111
00:04:31,278 --> 00:04:32,361
Yes.
112
00:04:32,396 --> 00:04:34,664
Meet Oinker, Frisky, Can-Do,
Tina Pham,
113
00:04:34,698 --> 00:04:36,699
Peanut, Shamus, Pi,
and Wally-Wally.
114
00:04:36,733 --> 00:04:39,402
- You know these things?
- I collect them.
115
00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:40,753
I have all of these,
116
00:04:40,787 --> 00:04:44,190
except that boring-looking
unicorn with the tattered label.
117
00:04:44,241 --> 00:04:45,608
But since we're friends,
118
00:04:45,610 --> 00:04:47,126
I could take him
off your hands for you.
119
00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:48,761
For, wha like $10?
120
00:04:48,812 --> 00:04:51,514
$10? Those are limited editions.
121
00:04:51,548 --> 00:04:53,132
Pocolltibles at the mall
122
00:04:53,166 --> 00:04:55,017
would pay a fortune for these.
123
00:04:55,051 --> 00:04:57,369
Well, it's 10:00 A.M.
and we already got beef.
124
00:04:57,404 --> 00:04:58,370
Hmm! Excuse us.
125
00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:01,319
- Why did you say that?
- I don't know, it just cam out.
126
00:05:01,339 --> 00:05:03,211
You better think befor you speak.
127
00:05:03,231 --> 00:05:05,108
Louis, where are we going?
128
00:05:05,128 --> 00:05:07,196
You know I don't like surprises.
129
00:05:07,230 --> 00:05:10,749
Sorry! I just forgot my keys!
130
00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:12,468
All: Surprise!
131
00:05:12,470 --> 00:05:13,636
[Grunts]
132
00:05:13,638 --> 00:05:14,620
[Body thuds]
133
00:05:14,654 --> 00:05:15,871
Poor Mitch.
134
00:05:15,905 --> 00:05:18,724
That was the day of his
junior-college graduation.
135
00:05:18,758 --> 00:05:20,743
Ah, here we are.
136
00:05:20,777 --> 00:05:23,545
Shaquille O'Neal Motors.
137
00:05:23,596 --> 00:05:25,514
Surprise!
138
00:05:29,886 --> 00:05:31,320
[Metal screeches]
139
00:05:31,354 --> 00:05:33,405
I know what you're thinking,
but don't worry.
140
00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:34,740
We can afford it.
141
00:05:34,791 --> 00:05:37,760
[screeches] Plus, you
get to negotiate...
142
00:05:37,762 --> 00:05:39,261
just like on our wedding night.
143
00:05:39,263 --> 00:05:40,729
Happy anniversary.
144
00:05:40,780 --> 00:05:42,281
Hey!
145
00:05:42,332 --> 00:05:43,499
Hi. My name's Clark.
146
00:05:43,501 --> 00:05:45,801
Welcome to Shaq Motors.
How can I help you?
147
00:05:45,803 --> 00:05:46,935
Hello. I'm Louis.
148
00:05:46,970 --> 00:05:48,737
My wife and I are in the market
for a new car.
149
00:05:48,788 --> 00:05:49,788
That's wonderful, Louis.
150
00:05:49,823 --> 00:05:51,006
Now, where is your lovely wife
today?
151
00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:52,090
[Chuckles] I know, I know.
152
00:05:52,125 --> 00:05:55,010
She looks like my daughter.
Uh, okay.
153
00:05:55,012 --> 00:05:57,412
What I'm trying to say is
I don't see anyone with you.
154
00:05:57,432 --> 00:05:59,414
What?
155
00:05:59,449 --> 00:06:00,699
Jessica?
156
00:06:00,750 --> 00:06:01,917
Where'd she go?
157
00:06:01,951 --> 00:06:03,285
Wives, huh?
158
00:06:03,336 --> 00:06:05,120
Too bad they don't come
with six months of free lojack,
159
00:06:05,171 --> 00:06:07,506
like all the cars do
here at Shaq Motors.
160
00:06:07,540 --> 00:06:08,802
Yeah.
161
00:06:22,663 --> 00:06:24,722
I've been looking
all over for you.
162
00:06:24,742 --> 00:06:26,536
I turned away for one second
and you were gone.
163
00:06:26,556 --> 00:06:28,565
What happened? I had
to get out of there.
164
00:06:28,585 --> 00:06:30,670
I just needed to get a drink
someplace quiet
165
00:06:30,672 --> 00:06:32,071
where I wouldn't be bothered.
166
00:06:32,106 --> 00:06:33,322
Usually when I'm at a bar,
167
00:06:33,373 --> 00:06:36,175
Jewish guys are all over me,
but not here for some reason.
168
00:06:36,226 --> 00:06:38,161
This set of testicles
bothering you?
169
00:06:38,195 --> 00:06:40,513
No, Deb. He's just my husband.
170
00:06:40,547 --> 00:06:41,881
Louis, sit down.
171
00:06:41,915 --> 00:06:44,383
There's something
I need to tell you.
172
00:06:44,418 --> 00:06:46,602
Ooh, that conversation.
173
00:06:46,653 --> 00:06:48,854
You're gonna need more chex mix.
174
00:07:00,500 --> 00:07:01,500
[Sighs]
175
00:07:01,502 --> 00:07:03,436
I haven't been
completely honest with you
176
00:07:03,487 --> 00:07:05,085
about our wedding night.
177
00:07:05,539 --> 00:07:07,106
Mr. and Mrs. Huang,
178
00:07:07,140 --> 00:07:08,941
we've been negotiating
for hours.
179
00:07:08,943 --> 00:07:10,843
I'll knock off another $200,
180
00:07:10,877 --> 00:07:12,762
but that's the best I can do.
181
00:07:12,813 --> 00:07:14,230
I accept your defeat.
182
00:07:14,281 --> 00:07:15,448
[Louis laughs]
183
00:07:15,499 --> 00:07:17,450
How good does that look?
184
00:07:17,501 --> 00:07:19,769
Jessica Huang. That's my wife.
185
00:07:19,820 --> 00:07:20,903
[Laughs]
186
00:07:20,937 --> 00:07:22,154
I'm gonna go warm up
our new van.
187
00:07:22,156 --> 00:07:25,007
What a night!
188
00:07:25,635 --> 00:07:27,026
Don't feel bad.
189
00:07:27,060 --> 00:07:28,360
You'll be able
to tell your firstborn
190
00:07:28,395 --> 00:07:29,662
that you tangled with the best.
191
00:07:29,713 --> 00:07:31,931
My firstborn is about
all you left me with.
192
00:07:31,982 --> 00:07:34,533
That and the floor mats.
193
00:07:34,535 --> 00:07:36,766
Repeat that now,
what you just said.
194
00:07:36,970 --> 00:07:38,804
Oh, right here. See?
195
00:07:38,838 --> 00:07:41,529
You opted out of
the optional floor-mat option.
196
00:07:42,842 --> 00:07:44,393
No.
197
00:07:45,612 --> 00:07:46,412
That's it?
198
00:07:46,463 --> 00:07:48,330
Louis, I blew it!
199
00:07:48,381 --> 00:07:49,982
Free floor mats!
200
00:07:50,016 --> 00:07:52,318
That's the one thing
dealers always throw in,
201
00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:54,003
and I missed it!
202
00:07:54,054 --> 00:07:56,221
I overlooked
the most basic detail!
203
00:07:56,223 --> 00:07:58,707
You're overreacting.
It was just floor mats.
204
00:07:58,742 --> 00:08:01,727
No, it wasn't just floor mats.
It was our wedding night.
205
00:08:01,761 --> 00:08:04,279
It was the first thing
that we did as a married couple,
206
00:08:04,330 --> 00:08:06,131
and I messed it up.
207
00:08:06,166 --> 00:08:08,467
And every year,
I'm forced to think about it.
208
00:08:08,501 --> 00:08:09,685
So, what are we supposed to do?
209
00:08:09,736 --> 00:08:11,503
Just never get
a new car ever again?
210
00:08:11,538 --> 00:08:13,539
If you want a car, get a car.
211
00:08:13,590 --> 00:08:17,075
But I can't walk through those
automatic glass doors again
212
00:08:17,110 --> 00:08:20,512
and be reminded of
the biggest mistake of my life.
213
00:08:24,534 --> 00:08:25,601
Well...
214
00:08:25,635 --> 00:08:27,820
You remember floor mats,
215
00:08:27,854 --> 00:08:31,264
I remember the first time
we signed our names together.
216
00:08:35,502 --> 00:08:37,880
Band-aid's off, ney. You did it.
217
00:08:37,931 --> 00:08:40,332
Wiener-free since '83.
218
00:08:42,619 --> 00:08:43,835
What are you doing?
219
00:08:43,837 --> 00:08:46,271
I figured out a way
to get us the hot dogger.
220
00:08:46,273 --> 00:08:48,624
We take these down to the mall
and we sell them.
221
00:08:48,675 --> 00:08:49,708
I don't know.
222
00:08:49,728 --> 00:08:51,387
Do you think Evan's
gonna be okay with this?
223
00:08:51,407 --> 00:08:53,384
He's fine with it.
I already asked him.
224
00:08:53,404 --> 00:08:55,330
Hey, Evan,
can I sell your beanie babies
225
00:08:55,381 --> 00:08:57,315
and use the money
to buy a hot dogger?
226
00:08:57,350 --> 00:08:58,867
Yeah, that's a great idea,
Eddie.
227
00:08:58,901 --> 00:09:00,710
Why didn't I think of that?
228
00:09:00,730 --> 00:09:03,623
_
229
00:09:03,990 --> 00:09:05,657
Awesome. Let's do it.
230
00:09:05,708 --> 00:09:07,459
Okay, come on.
231
00:09:07,461 --> 00:09:08,427
[Door closes]
232
00:09:08,461 --> 00:09:10,228
Well, it wasn't
how I planned it,
233
00:09:10,263 --> 00:09:15,083
but I went and got the car
by myself like you wanted me to.
234
00:09:16,936 --> 00:09:18,403
These are real.
235
00:09:18,437 --> 00:09:19,955
What's going on?
236
00:09:20,006 --> 00:09:22,307
I wanted to apologize.
237
00:09:22,341 --> 00:09:24,643
You had no way of knowing
how I felt,
238
00:09:24,677 --> 00:09:27,379
and you were jusying
to do something nice.
239
00:09:27,430 --> 00:09:29,447
Well,
I shouldn't have walked out.
240
00:09:29,482 --> 00:09:32,284
No, you shouldn't have.
Deb had to drive me home.
241
00:09:32,286 --> 00:09:34,653
I sat in the back
with her welding equipment.
242
00:09:34,687 --> 00:09:37,689
She's very handy.
Her husband is lucky.
243
00:09:37,691 --> 00:09:39,958
Come on.
Let me show you the new car.
244
00:09:40,009 --> 00:09:41,326
Yeah
245
00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:45,730
I have to say, Louis,
this is a fine machine.
246
00:09:45,781 --> 00:09:47,916
The neutral luster
is so elegant.
247
00:09:47,967 --> 00:09:49,301
Champagne pearl?
248
00:09:49,352 --> 00:09:50,435
Good eye.
249
00:09:50,437 --> 00:09:52,771
And check this out...
the door...
250
00:09:52,822 --> 00:09:54,456
[Gasps]
251
00:09:54,507 --> 00:09:55,423
It works.
252
00:09:55,474 --> 00:09:57,175
Convenient!
253
00:09:57,226 --> 00:09:59,911
A second car is going to make
our lives so much easier.
254
00:09:59,945 --> 00:10:02,347
Tell me...
Did you get a good deal?
255
00:10:02,381 --> 00:10:04,849
I got a great deal.
I got that deal.
256
00:10:04,884 --> 00:10:08,036
Paid sticker price
and not a penny more.
257
00:10:12,858 --> 00:10:14,158
I'm sorry to hear
you're unhappy with the car.
258
00:10:14,193 --> 00:10:15,360
But, you know, we stand by
259
00:10:15,411 --> 00:10:17,262
that 24-hour Shaq-isfaction
guarantee.
260
00:10:17,296 --> 00:10:18,463
And we are sorry
261
00:10:18,514 --> 00:10:21,232
that we don't feel like
lighting money on fire.
262
00:10:21,283 --> 00:10:24,306
Sticker price? Shame, Clark.
263
00:10:24,326 --> 00:10:25,386
Shame.
264
00:10:27,106 --> 00:10:28,539
Congratulations. You did it.
265
00:10:28,574 --> 00:10:29,540
What do you mean?
266
00:10:29,575 --> 00:10:31,442
They have to honor
their return policy.
267
00:10:31,477 --> 00:10:34,846
No, you said you could never
go in another dealership again.
268
00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:37,198
But you just walked through
those automatic glass doors.
269
00:10:37,232 --> 00:10:38,783
Only because
I had to return a car
270
00:10:38,817 --> 00:10:42,887
that you paid
way too much money for, which...
271
00:10:42,921 --> 00:10:45,556
You did on purpose
to get me down here.
272
00:10:45,607 --> 00:10:47,525
Let's do this again.
273
00:10:47,559 --> 00:10:49,811
And this time,
we won't miss a detail.
274
00:10:55,234 --> 00:10:56,567
Oh, my God. Are you all right?
275
00:10:56,569 --> 00:10:57,785
Did some savin?
276
00:10:57,820 --> 00:10:58,820
No.
277
00:10:58,871 --> 00:11:01,739
We'd like to buy that car...
278
00:11:01,741 --> 00:11:02,874
Again.
279
00:11:04,681 --> 00:11:06,662
So you wanna buy back
the car you just returned?
280
00:11:06,682 --> 00:11:08,844
That's right.
Returner's remorse.
281
00:11:08,864 --> 00:11:10,705
We get that all the time
at Shaquille O'Neal Motors.
282
00:11:10,725 --> 00:11:12,801
Once you go Shaq,
you don't go back.
283
00:11:12,821 --> 00:11:14,005
So, you know what?
284
00:11:14,039 --> 00:11:15,606
I won't shred this check
you gave me, and we'll just...
285
00:11:15,641 --> 00:11:18,659
this check was for a new car.
286
00:11:18,710 --> 00:11:21,362
- That car is used.
- Yeah, by you.
287
00:11:21,364 --> 00:11:23,297
We don't know what's happened
to it in the last five minutes.
288
00:11:23,348 --> 00:11:24,398
Mm-hmm.
289
00:11:24,433 --> 00:11:26,000
We want to talk to your manager.
290
00:11:26,034 --> 00:11:28,436
The top guy's the only one
who can authorize a better deal.
291
00:11:28,487 --> 00:11:30,838
Well, you're in luck
because I'm the top guy here.
292
00:11:30,872 --> 00:11:32,189
You're the top manager?
293
00:11:32,224 --> 00:11:34,375
Working the floor?
With those teeth?
294
00:11:34,426 --> 00:11:35,810
That's me.
295
00:11:35,844 --> 00:11:38,746
Okay, looks like Clark
wants to dance.
296
00:11:38,780 --> 00:11:40,314
We want to take your car
for a test-drive.
297
00:11:40,348 --> 00:11:41,732
But you just drove it here.
298
00:11:41,783 --> 00:11:43,384
Well, that was when it was
a new car.
299
00:11:43,418 --> 00:11:45,903
We don't know what's happened
to it in the last...
300
00:11:45,937 --> 00:11:47,922
six minutes.
301
00:11:49,758 --> 00:11:51,575
Time to knock back the roses.
302
00:11:51,610 --> 00:11:53,244
Eddie: Whoo-hoo!
303
00:11:53,295 --> 00:11:55,646
[Dramatic music playing]
304
00:11:57,382 --> 00:11:59,333
Hot dogger!
305
00:11:59,367 --> 00:12:00,567
Whoo!
306
00:12:00,619 --> 00:12:01,752
The hell?!
307
00:12:01,786 --> 00:12:03,771
- Get in here!
- Okay!
308
00:12:03,805 --> 00:12:05,956
I can't believe dad finally
got us the hot dogger!
309
00:12:05,991 --> 00:12:07,374
Dad didn't buy it. We did.
310
00:12:07,376 --> 00:12:09,576
With the money we got
selling your beanie babies.
311
00:12:09,611 --> 00:12:11,645
Repeat that now,
what you just said.
312
00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:13,347
You said you were cool with it.
Remember?
313
00:12:13,415 --> 00:12:15,032
It was when
you were painting grandma.
314
00:12:15,083 --> 00:12:17,317
Hey, Evan,
can I sell your beanie babies
315
00:12:17,352 --> 00:12:19,119
and use the money
to buy a hot dogger?
316
00:12:19,170 --> 00:12:21,055
Yeah, that's a great idea,
Eddie.
317
00:12:21,089 --> 00:12:22,106
Why didn't I think of that?
318
00:12:22,157 --> 00:12:24,758
Hear that, moon man?
He's cool with it!
319
00:12:24,793 --> 00:12:28,379
It's pronounced "Moonman"...
Les Moonman.
320
00:12:28,618 --> 00:12:31,550
_
321
00:12:33,201 --> 00:12:36,310
Ohh. It must have been a dream.
322
00:12:36,330 --> 00:12:37,404
A dream?!
323
00:12:37,455 --> 00:12:39,339
I haven't painted grandma
in months!
324
00:12:39,390 --> 00:12:41,642
But now we have the hot dogger!
325
00:12:41,644 --> 00:12:43,410
That's what we all wanted!
326
00:12:43,412 --> 00:12:46,013
So much better
than dumb stuffed animals.
327
00:12:46,047 --> 00:12:48,081
They weren't
dumb stuffed animals.
328
00:12:48,132 --> 00:12:49,728
They were my friends.
329
00:12:50,969 --> 00:12:52,736
I did it for us!
330
00:12:52,787 --> 00:12:56,363
I'm so mad at you, Eddie.
I have to go meditate.
331
00:12:59,951 --> 00:13:00,901
[Ship horn blows]
332
00:13:00,952 --> 00:13:02,252
[Grunts]
333
00:13:02,254 --> 00:13:03,603
Good morning, sleepy head.
334
00:13:03,638 --> 00:13:04,988
You were snoring.
335
00:13:04,990 --> 00:13:07,307
Uh, sorry. I've never fallen
asleep on a test-drive before.
336
00:13:07,342 --> 00:13:08,825
[Clears throat] Where are we?
337
00:13:08,860 --> 00:13:10,396
See for yourself.
338
00:13:12,313 --> 00:13:16,766
Those containers are full
of 1996 Honda Accords.
339
00:13:16,801 --> 00:13:18,435
We're at the docks in Tampa?
340
00:13:18,437 --> 00:13:19,569
That's an hour and a half away!
341
00:13:19,620 --> 00:13:21,938
It is beautiful
this time of year.
342
00:13:21,973 --> 00:13:23,874
The end of the model year,
343
00:13:23,908 --> 00:13:25,592
when you need to clear out
the '95s
344
00:13:25,626 --> 00:13:27,444
to make room for the '96s.
345
00:13:27,478 --> 00:13:29,212
Work paged me 13 times!
346
00:13:29,247 --> 00:13:30,347
My boss is gonna kill me.
347
00:13:30,381 --> 00:13:32,649
Oh, your boss?
I thought you were the manager.
348
00:13:32,700 --> 00:13:34,885
Okay, fine, yeah.
I have a manager.
349
00:13:34,919 --> 00:13:36,519
You can bet he's gonna
want to talk to you two.
350
00:13:36,571 --> 00:13:38,838
Perfect, because we want
to talk to your manager.
351
00:13:42,219 --> 00:13:46,205
Well, I heard you two had
quite the test drive with Clark.
352
00:13:47,999 --> 00:13:49,532
I-I've reviewed everything,
353
00:13:49,567 --> 00:13:51,918
and the lowest I can go
is $21,000.
354
00:13:51,953 --> 00:13:54,204
The lowest you can go, maybe.
355
00:13:54,238 --> 00:13:55,872
We want to talk to your manager.
356
00:13:55,906 --> 00:13:57,173
I am the manager.
357
00:13:57,208 --> 00:13:59,642
- That's what Clark said.
- Well, I assure you I am.
358
00:13:59,694 --> 00:14:02,247
And this is the best price
you're gonna get.
359
00:14:03,147 --> 00:14:04,614
Very shiny nameplate.
360
00:14:04,648 --> 00:14:06,282
So either you're a neat freak,
361
00:14:06,317 --> 00:14:08,568
which I know you're not by
the salsa stains on your shirt,
362
00:14:08,619 --> 00:14:10,587
or it hasn't had time
to collect dust
363
00:14:10,638 --> 00:14:13,189
because you've only been here
a few months,
364
00:14:13,224 --> 00:14:15,758
making it unlikely
you're the highest manager.
365
00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:18,828
What can I say? I'm a wunderkind
who likes wet burritos.
366
00:14:18,863 --> 00:14:20,296
And who still needs a reminder
367
00:14:20,331 --> 00:14:22,699
to dial 9 to get
an outside line?
368
00:14:24,535 --> 00:14:26,586
Well, William got me
up to speed.
369
00:14:26,637 --> 00:14:28,188
Now, I've reviewed everything,
370
00:14:28,222 --> 00:14:30,540
and the lowest I can go
is $25,000.
371
00:14:37,598 --> 00:14:39,983
[Laughing] Oh.
372
00:14:40,034 --> 00:14:41,868
The silent treatment, huh?
373
00:14:41,919 --> 00:14:44,020
Well, it's not gonna work on me.
374
00:14:44,054 --> 00:14:45,388
I thrive on silence.
375
00:14:51,045 --> 00:14:52,472
_
376
00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:53,744
_
377
00:14:53,764 --> 00:14:55,064
Please stop fighting.
378
00:14:55,099 --> 00:14:57,083
You're scaring
the other customers.
379
00:14:57,117 --> 00:14:59,719
$20,000 is the lowest I can go.
380
00:14:59,753 --> 00:15:00,987
_
381
00:15:01,007 --> 00:15:01,737
_
382
00:15:01,757 --> 00:15:04,734
_
383
00:15:05,442 --> 00:15:08,161
[Deep voice] Well, Randy filled
me in here, and told me...
384
00:15:08,195 --> 00:15:10,379
You're the boy we took to Tampa.
385
00:15:10,414 --> 00:15:12,114
But with a mustache.
386
00:15:12,598 --> 00:15:15,117
[Sighs] I told them
it wouldn't work, you know?
387
00:15:15,152 --> 00:15:16,269
It didn't work, guys!
388
00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:18,554
[Sighs] Let's just end this.
389
00:15:18,589 --> 00:15:21,224
It's been a long day.
I'm tired. You're tired.
390
00:15:21,275 --> 00:15:22,525
I'm not tired.
391
00:15:22,543 --> 00:15:24,760
I just took a nap right now
while you were talking.
392
00:15:24,795 --> 00:15:26,404
With my eyes open.
393
00:15:27,114 --> 00:15:30,132
Look, I...
$19,000 is the best I can do.
394
00:15:30,183 --> 00:15:32,485
I've thrown in
everything that I can.
395
00:15:32,536 --> 00:15:33,753
Including floor mats?
396
00:15:33,787 --> 00:15:37,073
Yes, for the millionth time,
including floor mats.
397
00:15:38,887 --> 00:15:40,643
[Sighs] Do we have a deal?
398
00:15:42,446 --> 00:15:44,580
[Chuckles] Oh, honey.
You did it.
399
00:15:44,582 --> 00:15:47,400
[Chuckles] Louis, thank you.
400
00:15:47,451 --> 00:15:50,086
This was the best
anniversary present ever.
401
00:15:50,088 --> 00:15:51,721
[Chuckles]
402
00:15:51,723 --> 00:15:52,855
[Sighs]
403
00:15:52,857 --> 00:15:54,790
[Chuckles]
404
00:15:58,879 --> 00:16:01,263
- Is something wrong?
- Why are you sweating?
405
00:16:01,265 --> 00:16:03,199
Uh, the air-conditioner's
broken.
406
00:16:08,779 --> 00:16:10,339
Where does that door go to...
407
00:16:10,373 --> 00:16:11,523
the one with the peeling paint?
408
00:16:11,575 --> 00:16:13,676
What? It's aup... supply closet.
409
00:16:13,710 --> 00:16:16,178
A supply closet
in a top manager's office?!
410
00:16:16,212 --> 00:16:17,279
Open it.
411
00:16:17,281 --> 00:16:19,465
Why?!
It... it's boring in there!
412
00:16:20,884 --> 00:16:23,118
Both:
We want to talk to your manager!
413
00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:24,753
I am the manager!
414
00:16:24,755 --> 00:16:26,355
Forget it!
415
00:16:26,389 --> 00:16:27,990
The offer is off the table.
416
00:16:27,992 --> 00:16:30,926
You just blew
the deal of a lifetime
417
00:16:30,928 --> 00:16:33,395
'cause you can't get...
[Telephone ringing]
418
00:16:46,376 --> 00:16:47,509
Uh, mm-hmm.
419
00:16:48,317 --> 00:16:49,528
Y-yes.
420
00:16:49,579 --> 00:16:51,270
Yes.
421
00:16:51,881 --> 00:16:53,419
Y-yes.
422
00:16:54,083 --> 00:16:55,250
Uh...
423
00:16:58,507 --> 00:17:01,823
My manager would like
to speak with you.
424
00:17:03,827 --> 00:17:05,828
[Sighs]
425
00:17:08,698 --> 00:17:11,516
Yeah
426
00:17:11,568 --> 00:17:13,619
Shaquille O'Neal.
427
00:17:13,670 --> 00:17:14,670
Congratulations.
428
00:17:14,704 --> 00:17:16,738
No one has ever made it
this far.
429
00:17:20,243 --> 00:17:22,311
You are the final manager.
430
00:17:22,313 --> 00:17:23,645
Yes, I am.
431
00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:26,048
I sign off on every car
that comes through this place.
432
00:17:26,050 --> 00:17:28,667
I realized that
if I put my name on a product,
433
00:17:28,701 --> 00:17:30,519
I got to stand by it.
434
00:17:30,553 --> 00:17:33,555
We don't want another...
"Shaq Fu."
435
00:17:36,072 --> 00:17:40,028
Check out the latest endorsement
I just had to reject...
436
00:17:40,329 --> 00:17:42,013
Shaq-uila.
437
00:17:42,048 --> 00:17:43,899
Nice. Basketball-shaped Tequila.
438
00:17:46,302 --> 00:17:47,802
[Glass shatters]
439
00:17:47,837 --> 00:17:49,821
It seemed like a good idea
at the time.
440
00:17:50,411 --> 00:17:52,541
Uh, speaking of basketball,
441
00:17:52,592 --> 00:17:54,309
doesn't the season start
in a couple weeks?
442
00:17:54,343 --> 00:17:55,777
- Oh, yeah.
- I mean...
443
00:17:56,197 --> 00:17:58,213
You look a lot bigger in person.
444
00:17:58,264 --> 00:18:00,315
Well, wait till you see
Charles barkley's fat ass.
445
00:18:00,349 --> 00:18:02,117
I just have to skip third lunch.
446
00:18:02,119 --> 00:18:03,718
I'll snap right back into shape.
447
00:18:03,753 --> 00:18:07,322
Okay, enough basketball sports.
Let's talk business.
448
00:18:07,373 --> 00:18:09,925
Yes, I heard you and Freddie
talking behind the wall.
449
00:18:09,959 --> 00:18:11,826
I'm very impressed,
and for that,
450
00:18:11,861 --> 00:18:15,213
I'll give you $500 off...
$18,500.
451
00:18:15,264 --> 00:18:16,097
$18,100.
452
00:18:16,148 --> 00:18:17,198
$18,400.
453
00:18:17,233 --> 00:18:19,834
$18,200 and free car washes
for a year.
454
00:18:21,687 --> 00:18:24,255
[Keyboard keys clacking]
455
00:18:24,306 --> 00:18:26,174
$18,250...
456
00:18:26,176 --> 00:18:28,159
And a pair of fuzzy dice
for the rearview mirror.
457
00:18:29,245 --> 00:18:30,211
Deal.
458
00:18:31,347 --> 00:18:32,263
[Chuckles]
459
00:18:34,917 --> 00:18:35,884
[Gasps]
460
00:18:35,918 --> 00:18:37,385
Let go of my hand, lady.
461
00:18:37,420 --> 00:18:39,654
Just one more thing.
462
00:18:39,705 --> 00:18:42,357
You got Shaq's autograph?!
463
00:18:42,391 --> 00:18:44,192
On his big shoe.
464
00:18:44,226 --> 00:18:46,110
But I... I can't... no, wait.
I... yeah.
465
00:18:46,145 --> 00:18:48,463
I got to calm this down.
I got to calm this mess down.
466
00:18:48,497 --> 00:18:49,714
Oh, we'd take you to meet him,
467
00:18:49,765 --> 00:18:50,765
but he just left to clean up
468
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:52,233
a big mess at Shaq Motors
Nashville.
469
00:18:52,284 --> 00:18:54,118
Some raccoons
got into the Corollas.
470
00:18:54,170 --> 00:18:56,437
That makes sense.
Shaq is great with animals.
471
00:18:56,472 --> 00:18:58,406
At least I still got this tank!
472
00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:00,258
I can't wait
to show Emery and Evan!
473
00:19:00,292 --> 00:19:01,593
You know, a few years from now,
474
00:19:01,627 --> 00:19:03,478
you can sell that thing
for a lot of money.
475
00:19:03,529 --> 00:19:04,862
It's not about the money.
476
00:19:04,897 --> 00:19:06,281
I'd never sell this shoe.
477
00:19:06,315 --> 00:19:08,944
It means way too much...
478
00:19:10,152 --> 00:19:11,633
to me.
479
00:19:11,653 --> 00:19:13,421
[Sighs]
480
00:19:18,226 --> 00:19:19,877
[Gasps] My beanie buddies!
481
00:19:19,912 --> 00:19:22,713
Oinker! Tina!
482
00:19:23,443 --> 00:19:25,433
I know it was hard
selling that shoe,
483
00:19:25,467 --> 00:19:27,109
but you did the right thing.
484
00:19:27,129 --> 00:19:29,120
You're a good brother.
485
00:19:29,154 --> 00:19:31,372
I had it in my hand.
486
00:19:31,406 --> 00:19:34,242
I fit my entire face
inside of it.
487
00:19:34,293 --> 00:19:36,744
It smelled like pizza.
488
00:19:37,184 --> 00:19:39,463
I love this car.
489
00:19:39,498 --> 00:19:41,299
And no one made
any money off of it.
490
00:19:42,074 --> 00:19:44,418
[Chuckles] So, I'll take
the grease to the dump
491
00:19:44,420 --> 00:19:45,920
and then drop Eddie off
at practice.
492
00:19:45,971 --> 00:19:47,555
And I'll take Evan and Emery
to the store,
493
00:19:47,589 --> 00:19:50,758
then we'll pick up grandma
from the hand surgeon.
494
00:19:51,207 --> 00:19:52,727
[Sighs] This car is
too nice to drive.
495
00:19:52,761 --> 00:19:54,345
Let's just all just jam
in the van.
496
00:19:56,236 --> 00:19:57,989
Take a knee.
497
00:19:58,833 --> 00:20:01,240
We took a loss today,
and there's no way around it.
498
00:20:01,274 --> 00:20:04,527
Today, they were better than us.
499
00:20:05,192 --> 00:20:07,078
But you know what?
500
00:20:07,129 --> 00:20:08,543
That's only one car.
501
00:20:08,563 --> 00:20:12,204
Out there, there are
387 more new and pre-owned cars,
502
00:20:12,224 --> 00:20:16,054
each one of them looking
for a warm garage to call home.
503
00:20:16,088 --> 00:20:17,579
Who's gonna get them home?
504
00:20:17,599 --> 00:20:19,155
Is it you, Barbara?
505
00:20:19,175 --> 00:20:21,393
Randy? William? Freddie?
506
00:20:21,427 --> 00:20:23,978
As a matter of fact, Freddie,
you're fired. Get out.
507
00:20:24,013 --> 00:20:25,230
Get out, Freddie!
508
00:20:25,264 --> 00:20:26,431
Okay.
509
00:20:26,482 --> 00:20:28,183
I'm just playing, Freddie.
Sit down.
510
00:20:28,999 --> 00:20:31,121
- Sit down. I'm just playing.
- Okay.
511
00:20:31,141 --> 00:20:34,272
But seriously, you've got to
get your ass together.
512
00:20:35,333 --> 00:20:38,944
Listen... I believe in
what we're doing here,
513
00:20:38,964 --> 00:20:40,545
and I know you do, too.
514
00:20:40,579 --> 00:20:42,419
Remember who you sell for.
515
00:20:42,439 --> 00:20:44,499
Remember the name
that's embroidered
516
00:20:44,533 --> 00:20:48,453
on the front of your shirts...
Shaquille...
517
00:20:48,455 --> 00:20:49,788
All: Shaquille.
518
00:20:49,790 --> 00:20:51,183
- O'Neal...
- O'Neal...
519
00:20:51,203 --> 00:20:53,508
- Motor Cars...
- Motor Cars.
520
00:20:53,542 --> 00:20:54,793
Now say it together.
521
00:20:54,795 --> 00:20:56,670
Shaquille O'Neal Motor Cars.
522
00:20:56,690 --> 00:20:58,129
Thank you.
523
00:20:58,180 --> 00:20:59,297
[Head thuds]
524
00:20:59,348 --> 00:21:01,398
Raise this damn door!
525
00:21:01,596 --> 00:21:03,929
sync and corrected by ninh
www.addic7ed.com
526
00:21:03,979 --> 00:21:08,529
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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