All language subtitles for Fresh Off The Boat S01e13 So Chineez.eng

Eddie: It had been a minute
since my family left D.C.,

and we were all definitely
settling into Orlando.

I became my school's
first black president.

Dad put the restaurant
on the map.

I got this idea from watching a baby.
[Laughs]

Eat up, my babies!

[All cheer]

My brothers were still nerds.

Shifting to hyper-speed.

We're on our way, Santa!

Ohh!

Grandma was busy
doing her thing.

But no one was fitting in
better than moms.

She was down with "Melrose Place"...
Woman on TV: [Splashing, giggling]

So Brooke wrote a letter
to letter to Alison

in Billy's voice, all while
Paul is getting a divorce

and asking Matt
to help him move out.

My, you have come a long way
since calling it

"the Melrose street."

That is still a better name.

Her real estate game
was on point.

She was assimilating
like a fiend.

[Both scream]

[Exhales sharply]

So when she got invited to join

the North Orlando Country Club,
she was like...

Oh, hell, yeah!

For her, this was
the ultimate symbol of success.

There's just one problem.

No. Too expensive.

But the restaurant
is doing so well now.

Hey, if I'm not worried
about money,

you shouldn't be either.

Their tennis court
has a ball boy.

I like playing
on the municipal court.

It's just as nice.

[Crow cawing]

Okay, my serve.

[Ball bounces]

[Dog barks and growls]
Oh, God.

[Barking]

Oh, God! [Growling]

Just give the dog
your tennis ball!

It's brand-new!

What am I made of, tennis balls?!
[Barking continues]

S01E13
So Chineez

Danny brown:

sync and corrected by ninh
www.addic7ed.com

My school did this thing
called world cultures day.

All the parents were invited,

and every kid got a country
to represent.

What country did you get, Eddie?

Iceland.

Dave, I may need to borrow
your Bjork CD.

- How do you know I have that?
- Your taste in music sucks.

So... What countries
did you guys get?

We all traded
for the Caribbean islands.

It's an easy "a."

It's just sand, sun,
and reggae, mon.

Walter, can you believe what
he's saying about your people?

My people are from Colorado.

The islands are more than
just beaches.

They're part of black history.

I know. I've listened
to "buffalo soldier."

Yeah, but have you heard it?

Y'all need me
in the Caribbean section.

What country's left?

Jamaica.
But Brian Dunlop has it,

and he's never gonna trade.

[Grunts]

Brother's gonna work it out.

Hey.

You like "boy meets world"?

Love it.

If you trade me Jamaica,

I'll hook you up
with Topanga's phone number.

Please. There's no way
you have her number.

Then how would I know
the first number's 4?

[Rings]

This is Topanga.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes. [Bag crinkles]

Yes.

Yes.

[Country music playing]

I know why Jessica
asked you here.

[Sighs deeply]

Oh, we just wanted to check out
your restaurant. [Chuckles]

Oh, are you two members of
the North Orlando country club?

Not smooth, Jessica. Not smooth.

Come on, Louis,
you've got to join.

This club is classy as hell.

It's just not a good time
for us financially.

I'm considering opening up

a second location
of the restaurant.

Oh, I have pals at the club
that can help you with that.

Ted handles
small business loans.

And Bert?
He's a commercial contractor.

Oh, such powerful first names,
Louis.

Business happens
at the club every day.

It's nothing
but fresh white towels

and handshake deals.
[Marvin chuckles]

Pet Shop Boys:

Fine, I'll go on a tour.

Oh! Yay!

Good man.

Oh, and, hey,

we can be your first
Asian-American members.

Ooh! Oh, I didn't even think of that.
[Chuckles]

You know, sometimes I forget
you guys are Chinese.

[All laugh]

Oh, what do you mean?
[Chuckles]

O-oh, you know.

You guys are just like regular old
Americans to us. [Chuckles]

Yeah.
Ooh! How are the crunch bites?

Mnh, neither crunchy
or bite-sized.

The name is quite misleading.
They're wet and huge.

[Water boiling]

Mom! I requested a pop quiz,
and I got an "a" -plus on it.

I made a drawing of our family
riding a horse.

Good job, boys.

[Drawer closes]

Why won't she put our stuff up
on the fridge anymore?

"Good job, boys"?
What does that even mean?

I remember when all it took
to get up there

was a drawing of a hand turkey.

You know what happened, right?

We've been too awesome
for too long.

She's gotten used to greatness.

That just means
I gotta step up my game.

You? I'm gonna get something
on that fridge before you.

Shh! Hear that?

Oh, it's just me...

coming for you.

Uh, hey, Marvin's taking me
on a tour of the club tomorrow.

Have you seen my good tennis shorts?
The one with the turtle on it?

Are we Chinese enough?

Yes. What?

Marvin says sometimes
he forgets we're Chinese.

Maybe he's forgetting
because we're forgetting.

I mean, when did we start
wearing shoes in the house?

[Shoes squeak]

Shoes in the house from now on!

My feet are crazy wide.

They're like suction cups
in those boots.

Wearing shoes in the house

isn't the only thing
that's different about us.

Look, all Marvin meant was
he sees us as Americans first.

Isn't that what we want?

What I don't want
is for the boys to forget

where they came from.

Look, Jessica, we're doing fine.

We're so Chinese.

I guess I'm overthinking it.

Yes, don't worry.

Hey, mom,
I need help with my mandarin.

I'm trying to talk off grandma.

Oh. Oh, that's very good.
Oh, my sweet boy.

How do you say,

"can you say that
in English, grandma?"

Big ups, y'all!

Mom, I'm Jamaican.

Ja-makin' me dinner, mom?

Mom, ja-making me dinner?

What?

Ugh! What's for dinner, mom?

Macaroni and... Cheese.

[Whispers] With bacon bits!

Jessica: Boys! Breakfast!

Why you dressed like Chun-Li
from "street fighter"?

I'm making some changes
around here.

From now on, no more
wearing shoes in the house.

But I need my arch supports.
I got dad's wide-ass feet.

We are also going to start
speaking more mandarin at home.

But I only know the bad words.

Which is why I'm enrolling you
in Chinese school

after your regular school...

In Tampa.

_

But Tampa's, like,
two hours away!

It's important we don't forget
our heritage.

We all have to make sacrifices.

I'm even giving up
"Melrose place."

_

Well,
I wish I could do all this,

but I gotta go work on
my Jamaica project.

And that's another thing.

I want Eddie to be assigned
China for world cultures day.

Well, we purposely didn't
give China to Eddie

because we thought
it would be racist.

So you treated him differently
because he's Chinese?

- Switch Eddie to China.
- Absolutely.

Thank you for the ride,
sweetheart.

Of course, daddy.
I'll be by the pool.

Okay. No bikinis.

No bikinis!

[Latch clicks,
tennis balls bouncing]

And this...
Is our tennis court, Louis.

The net is always taut.

We have an endless supply
of tennis balls.

Ha ha! See?

Who cares where that went?
[Laughs] [Laughs]

Come on. Whack a few with me.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Okay. [Chuckles]

Give it a shot.

Whoa. [Laughs] [Laughs]

- Uh-huh?
- This is so wasteful.

Ah. [Laughs] [Laughs]

So... You ready to join?

Uh, the amenities are great,

but it still feels like too much
of a luxury right now.

Hey, you recognize
that fellow over there?

- It's the Hoagie King!
- Yep, he's a member.

And that fella he's talking to?

He owns a wholesale bakery.

[Gasps] Man, if I had
a connection like that,

I could get cheaper bread rolls.

[Chuckles] Well, think bigger,
my friend. Think bigger!

Ted!

This jerk here wants to
expand his steakhouse.

You interested?

Let's talk business
in my cabana.

[Chuckles] A cabana?

I like a guy who likes
to get out of the sun.

Yeah, you know it. [Chuckles]

[Door opens and closes]

I got a 150 out of 100
on my quiz.

That's never happened before.

I made a drawing of you
in stipple.

_

[Sighs]

[Door closes] I don't know what
she said, but I know what she said.

Mom, why did you
get me reassigned?

I had Jamaica.
I was on easy street.

[Jamaican accent]
Every-ting gonna be "irie."

[Normal voice] Jamaica's
so much cooler than China.

You know what's cool?

A wall you can see
from space... China.

Birthplace of kung fu... China.

Gunpowder, the compass,
gambling... China, China, China!

[Screams] What is that?

Chicken feet.
It's for good fidelity.

I don't want good fidelity.

You know what else is cool?

_

China.

I can see its... toenail.

- I don't wanna eat this.
- Eat your feet!

- No!
- Homework!

Evan: No, no! I gotta
do homework! Love you!

[Door opens]

Great news!
I joined the country club!

We're all members.

No, we're not doing that
anymore. Cancel the membership.

What?

We need to reconnect
with our culture,

not surround ourselves
with white people

doing white things.

You know what's a white thing?
Hanging up a Buddha picture.

Jessica, you got me all excited
about the country club,

and now I wanna do it.

Our parents made sure we knew
where we came from.

We need to do the same thing
for the boys.

[Sighs]

Where are the boys, anyway?

[Speaking mandarin loudly]

Amazing. They found a way
to make Tampa worse.

[Whispers]
What is the teacher saying?

[Whispers] I don't know.

[Continues
speaking mandarin loudly]

[Whispers] Oh! That sounded
like the word for "the."

This is madness.

[Man continues
speaking mandarin loudly]

You know what'll impress mom
and get us up on the fridge?

- No, obviously I don't!
- Me neither.

But whatever it is,
it's gonna happen here.

[Continues
speaking mandarin loudly]

Boy: A 5, 6, 7, 8...

Boys:
Aruba, Jamaica

[Laughter]

Hey, Eddie, looks like I got
Jamaica and Topanga.

You know I just gave you
my home phone number, right?

[TV playing indistinctly] Yes.

Yes.

Shut up. I knew that.

[Traditional Russian music playing]

[Song ends, boots stomp]

Wonderful job on Russia, Brock.

You haven't seen anything...
Nyet.

[Laughs] Brock! [Laughs]

Again, I urge you to consider

being our Tony
in "West Side Story."

Okay.

And now let's traverse
the eurasian steppe to China,

where Eddie Huang has...

What is this?

A bowl, soy sauce, and a xerox
of ling ling the panda.

China.

Eddie, you're lucky
this is just a practice run.

I need to see some effort,

or you're going to get
an "f" tomorrow.

I know you're not
actually reading.

That's just hurtful,
is what it is.

[Muzak playing]

This way. This way. [Chuckles]

What are we doing here?

I need to go buy
a thousand-year-old egg.

Okay, see this empty space?

The potato bar craze
is finally over.

- Did it ever begin?
- Mm.

Now imagine this
as the future location

of "Cattleman's Express."

There's low overhead,
lots of foot traffic,

we'd have positive cash flow
from day one.

Ted can get us a break on rent.

- Ted who?
- No idea.

I met him once at the club,
and look where it led.

See? This is what
the country club gets us,

opportunities like this.

All I see is white people,
hot dogs,

and a Wolfgang Chang's.

That catfish with a smile
of an idiot is our boys.

If we drop the ball,

they'll end up getting
their culture

from fake Chinese restaurants
like this one.

"Eddie, what's buddhism?"

- [Imitates Eddie] "Orange chicken."
- That's going overboard.

No, that's how we end up
with grandkids named "bitsy,"

by joining country clubs
to make business deals.

But the country club has

complimentary
ice blue aqua velva aftershave.

Louis, success is important,

but it is meaningless
if we lose ourselves.

[Sighs heavily]

Okay, fine.

If you feel that strongly,

I'll put cattleman's express
on hold

and cancel our club membership.

[Indistinct conversations]

It's really a shame...

That Jessica couldn't make it!

[All laugh]

Yeah, too bad.

Luckily, this jerk could sub in.

[All laugh]

What a jerk!

[All laugh]

After this, let's talk
Cattleman's Express.

Sounds like a plan, ass wipe.

Uh, sorry, too far?

I'm learning.

[All laugh]

[Laughs nervously]

[door opens]

[Door closes]

- Louis...
- [Screams] Judas Priest.

Why are you home so early?

Uh, nowhere. [Chuckles]

Um, I mean... to grout the tub?

[Sniffs]

I smell ice blue
aqua velva aftershave,

like the kind they have
at the country club.

Hmm, that's weird.

If I come over there
and smell your face,

will it smell ice blue?

No.

Fine! Yes! I was
at the country club, God!

You said you were gonna
cancel the membership!

Well, I was, but...

Wait, why are you home?

Thought you were going shopping
for a thousand-year-old egg.

It... hatched.

Oh, it hatched.

Isn't "Melrose Place" on
right now?

I don't know.

So... if I go over there
and put my hand on the TV,

will it be warm?

No.

Okay, fine! I was watching
"Melrose Place," God!

I knew it!
Melrose frickin' Place!

I like it, okay?
I like all of it.

"Melrose Place," rollerblading,
Mac and cheese.

It's so easy to make.
You just add water.

It's cheese from water.

[Exhales] It's okay for us
to like this stuff.

But I hate that I like it,

and I hate that I am too weak
to give it up.

I keep telling the boys
to hold on to their identity,

but I can't even do it myself.

They have me, Louis.

I'm just a chipwich-eating
American couch lady.

Jessica, we are not losing
our identity.

Mom, I don't care
if you get mad at me.

[Door closes] I don't wanna be China.
I wanna be Jamaica!

[Sighs deeply]
I see they have him, too.

Okay, fine, be Jamaica.
What's the point?

Yes! Thank jah.

Look at my painting
of an ancient Chinese village.

I calligraphied the Chinese symbol
for "refrigerator."

It's both art and a label.

[Sighs] Yours is so clever.

Yours is so detailed.
It's really taking me there.

- Thanks.
- You know...

If we partner up,
we can both get on the fridge.

That's a great idea!
Let's "Turner & Hooch" this.

Both: I call Hooch!

[Indistinct conversations]

[Steel drums playing]

Should we sing "Kokomo" again?

It was fun once, Dave.

Simmer down, Walter.
We're on island time.

I am so glad
I switched back to Jamaica.

It's just so much cooler
than China.

I mean, even Greece
would've been cooler.

[All laugh]

Yeah, China just has, like,
pandas.

And what's cool about pandas?
They're all like...

Hu[All laugh]Gy-gurgy.

- What do you mean?
- What?

Does China amuse you?

I was just joking around.

Oh, well, I like jokes.

Explain to me what's so funny
so I can laugh, too.

[Exhales]
I think Trent just meant...

I think Trent can talk
for himself.

He said a joke about China,

and I wanna know
what he meant by it.

Well, I... Um...

Should we get involved?

[Under breath] Stay out of it.
Just stay out of it.

White African.

Where is our Chinese Jamaican?
[Sighs]

Jessica...

Eddie: Don't be makin' fun of China!

I'm Chinese, Trent.
You know what's cool?

A wall you can see
from space... China.

We got 5,000 years
of history, dawg.

What's your chief export,
Barbados? The chronic?

Actually,
it's electrical components.

Oh, word.

You know who makes them
into stereos? China!

Same with those air Jordans
you love so much.

Just do it? Just made it.

In China.

I didn't think he was listening.

See? I told you.
Our boys are going to be okay.

This wouldn't be happening
if I still had Jamaica.

Brian?

Topanga?

[Groans softly]

[Door closes]

Hey, mom.

I got my world cultures day
report back.

You need to sign it. [Sighs]

You got an "f"?

I spent so much time
schooling Trent on China,

that I never did
my Jamaica presentation.

The timing couldn't be better
to show her this.

- I almost feel bad.
- I don't. Let's move.

[Magnet thuds]

This belongs up here.

I'm proud of you, Eddie.

Cool. Thanks, mom.

Come on!

_

Florida plates! It's official.

Hey, when did that get on there?

Jessica: I got it
from your school.

Emery and Evan:
She's proud of me!

- You?
- You?

[Door opens]

[The Notorious B.I.G.'S "Juicy" playing]

Hey, girl.
We goin' to the country club.

Maybe I'll invite you next time.

My dad's on the board.

There's a picture of me
in the entranceway.

They named a side dish
after me... the ni-coleslaw.

Next time then.

I bet they have white valets.

I hope we get our car parked
by a blonde one.

[Door slides closed]
don't sleep on the redheads.

One of those would be good, too.

And that's how my family
started reppin' Orlando.

My mom had nothing
to worry about,

because no matter what,

we were never gonna leave
our heritage behind.

Evan: I think we forgot grandma.

[Tires screech, song stops]
[Scoffs]

sync and corrected by ninh
www.addic7ed.com

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0