Original subtitles

- NOW REMEMBER, BEFORE YOU LEAVE,

TURN THE LIGHTS OFF, LEAVE THE AUTOCLAVE ON.

X-RAY MACHINE OFF, VOICEMAIL ON.

LOCK THE FILE CABINET.

DO NOT LOCK THE DESK. WE LOST THE KEY.

- LAVERNE, WE'LL BE FINE.

- I'M SURE YOU WILL, DOCTORS, BUT JUST IN CASE,

I HAVE PREPARED AN INSTRUCTIONAL VIDEOTAPE.

- YOU'RE JUST TAKING OFF THE AFTERNOON.

WE CAN HANDLE THIS.

- I'M SURE YOU CAN, DOCTOR,

BUT THE LAST TIME I LET YOU TWO LOCK UP

I HAD TO COME BACK HERE AT 3:00 IN THE MORNING.

- BUT, LAVERNE, WE DID LOCK UP.

- I KNOW.

BUT I COULDN'T SLEEP. I DON'T TRUST YOU.

CAN YOU JUST WATCH IT SO I GET SOME REST?

- HEY, Y'ALL.

- OH, MATTIE, YOU'RE HERE. - HEY, BERNIE.

- OH! HOW WAS YOUR FLIGHT?

- WELL, IT WAS TOUCH AND GO.

YOU REMEMBER THE HENDERSENS, DON'T YOU?

- OH, THEY'RE THE HEAVIEST FAMILY

IN ALL OF HICKORY.

- WELL, THEY WERE ALL ON MY FLIGHT.

NEEDED EVERY INCH OF THE RUNWAY TO TAKE OFF

PLUS A LITTLE BIT OF THE INTERSTATE.

- OH, LORDY.

- ANYWAY, I'M STAVIN'. YEAH, THEY SAT UP FRONT.

THE MEAL CART NEVER MADE IT PAST ROW SIX.

- WAIT TILL YOU GET BACK TO MY PLACE.

I'LL WHIP YOU UP A NICE HOT MEAL.

WELL, I SUPPOSE I'M GONNA HAVE TO FIND

A NICE WAY TO THANK YOU THEN.

- MATTHEW. [beeping]

- NOT MINE. - NOT MINE.

- AW, IT'S ME.

- NOT AGAIN.

- I'M SURE IT'S NOTHING, HONEY.

DR. MILLER'S COVERIN' FOR ME.

- COME ON, MATT. USE THE PHONE IN THE LOUNGE.

- YEAH.

- SO, WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING THIS WEEKEND?

- WELL, I HAVE THE WHOLE ITINERARY PLANNED.

NUMBER 1, WE GO BACK TO MY HOUSE.

NUMBER 12, I TAKE HIM TO THE AIRPORT ON MONDAY.

- WHAT ABOUT NUMBERS 2 THROUGH 11?

- DOCTOR, A LADY DOES NOT DISCUSS

NUMBERS 2 THROUGH 11.

- OH, I GOT YA.

HERE'S A LITTLE MEDICAL ADVICE:

LIMBER UP BEFORE NUMBER 5.

- LAVERNE... - MATTIE KANE, DO NOT TELL ME.

- I'M SORRY, HONEY. THERE'S NOTHIN' I CAN DO.

I GOTTA GO BACK AND TREAT A CASE OF KIDNEY STONES.

- BUT YOU SAID DR. MILLER WAS COVERIN' FOR YOU.

- HE'S THE ONE WITH THE KIDNEY STONES.

- WELL, I GUESS YOU GOTTA GO.

- YEAH.

GOTTA GO. - SURE AM GONNA MISS YOU.

- ME TOO.

- MATTHEW...

- OOH, DID YOU CHANGE YOUR TOOTHPASTE OR WHAT?

- STOP IT. NOW, COME ON, LET'S GO.

- LAVERNE, I'M GONNA MAKE IT UP TO YOU, I SWEAR.

- WELL, THAT'S WHAT THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE,

MAKIN' UP FOR LAST TIME. YOU OWE ME TWO.

COME ON. LET'S TAKE YOU TO THE AIRPORT.

- HEY, YOU CAN STILL SQUEEZE IN NUMBER EIGHT,

DEPENDING ON WHO DRIVES.

HEY, HEY.

AND NUMBER FOUR YOU CAN DO ON THE PHONE.

LIFE GOES ON AND SO DO WE

JUST HOW WE DO IT IS NO MYSTERY

ONE BY ONE

WE FILL THE DAYS

WE FIND A THOUSAND DIFFERENT WAYS

SOMETIMES THE ANSWER CAN BE HARD TO FIND

THAT'S SOMETHING I WILL NEVER BE

I'M ALWAYS HERE

FOR ANYTHING YOU NEED

RAIN OR SHINE

I'LL BE THE ONE

TO SHARE IT ALL AS LIFE GOES ON

WE SHARE IT ALL

AS LIFE GOES ON

- HARRY... SEE THAT GORGEOUS COVER GIRL?

ME, 60 YEARS AGO.

- I'M NOT SURPRISED, SOPHIA DEAR.

YOU'RE STILL A BEAUTY.

- AND YOU'RE STILL A GULLIBLE SAP.

IF I HAD HAD TORPEDOES LIKE THAT,

I WOULD HAVE BEEN CESAR ROMERO'S FIFTH WIFE.

COME ON, HARRY. I'M BORED.

I CAN'T REACH ANYTHING I WANT.

- JUST A MINUTE, SOPHIA.

I'M TRYING TO FIND A MAGAZINE.

- WHOO-HOO, NED, GOOD AFTERNOON.

IS THE NEW ISSUE OF CELEBRITY DOGGIES OUT YET?

- YEAH. HERE YOU GO. - OH, THANK YOU.

NOW, LOOK.

THERE'S A NEW POSTER FOR YOUR ROOM.

YES.

- HEY, HARRY.

I THINK SHE STOLE YOUR MUTT.

- WOW, THAT'S REALLY SOMETHING.

UH, HI, EXCUSE ME.

MY DOG LOOKS VERY MUCH LIKE YOURS.

- LIKE MY WHAT?

- YOUR DOG. - OH.

- WELL, WHAT A PRETTY...GUY?

- OH, NO. A GAL.

LADY RUBIUS OF ATWATER DOWNS.

OR, AS US PLAIN FOLK CALL HER, RUBY.

- WELL, THE RESEMBLANCE TO MY DREYFUSS IS AMAZING.

- REALLY?

YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT RUBY WAS ONE OF A KIND.

- GET THOSE TWO TOGETHER, YOU'LL HAVE SEVEN OF A KIND.

- YOU KNOW, SCOTTY-- THAT'S MY GRANDSON--

HAS BEEN SAYING, "I WANT A PUPPY."

- ARE YOU SURE HE'S NOT SAYING, "I WANT A DADDY"?

- HI, I'M HARRY WESTON.

- OH, NICE TO MEET YOU.

PEGGY PROCKETT.

- WELL, I DON'T MEAN TO SOUND FORWARD OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT,

BUT IS THERE ANY CHANCE YOU WOULD CONSIDER...

MATING?

- OH, WELL...

OOH, THAT'S VERY FLATTERING,

BUT I'M SPOKEN FOR.

- NO, NOT YOU. - OH?

- WELL, I MEAN NOT THAT YOU'RE NOT A LOVELY LADY,

BUT IT'S-- - I KNOW, I KNOW.

I WAS JUST YANKING ON YOUR LEASH.

[both laughing]

- WELL, I MEAN, IF YOU SAW THESE TWO DOGS TOGETHER,

YOU'D BE SURPRISED HOW MUCH THEY LOOK ALIKE.

LOOK, UH, HERE'S MY CARD.

IF YOU'RE INTERESTED, YOU KNOW, GIVE ME A CALL.

- WELL, THIS REALLY IS QUITE SUDDEN.

I'LL HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT.

BUT IN ANY EVENT, IT WAS VERY NICE MEETING YOU.

- MY PLEASURE.

- COME ON, RUBY.

- OOH, A DOCTOR'S DOG.

RUBY, MY DEAR, YOU COULD DO A LOT WORSE.

- HEY, I HOPE SHE CALLS.

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT IF I GOT THOSE TWO TOGETHER?

- YOU KNOW, HARRY, THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO MAKE GOOD MONEY

DOING WHAT YOU JUST DID.

- WELL, I WOULDN'T CALL MYSELF A BREEDER.

- NEITHER WOULD I.

I'D CALL YOU A PIMP.

- CHARLEY, I DON'T CARE.

YOU ARE NOT SICK. I'M NOT GONNA WRITE A NOTE

TO YOUR CAPTAIN TO GET YOU OUT OF WORK.

- BUT, HARRY, I DON'T WANNA GO.

IT'S JUST A SAFETY CRUISE.

AND I KNOW WHAT TO DO IF THE SHIP IS SINKING.

JUST PUT ON A DRESS AND GET IN THE LIFEBOAT.

- FORGET IT.

- COME ON, HARRY. I ALREADY WROTE THE NOTE.

ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS SIGN IT.

- "TO WHOM THIS MAY CONCERN,

CHARLEY IS SICK AND CANNOT COME TO..."

YOU CROSSED OUT "SCHOOL" AND WROTE "BOAT"?

- ALL RIGHT. WELL, TELL HIM I CALLED.

AGAIN.

- STILL CAN'T REACH MATT, UH?

- YESTERDAY WHEN HE CALLED, I'S AT THE LAB.

WHEN I CALLED HIM BACK, HE'S IN SURGERY.

WHEN WHEN I FINALLY GOT HOME LAST NIGHT,

THERE WAS A RED LIGHT BLINKIN' ON MY ANSWERIN' MACHINE.

"YOU MISSED HIS CALL, YOU MISSED HIS CALL,

YOU MISSED HIS CALL."

- YOURS MOCKS YOU?

MINE JUST FLASHES A LITTLE NUMBER.

- DR. DOUGLAS, SOMETIMES I WONDER WHAT GOOD IT IS

BEIN' SO IN LOVE WITH SOMEBODY

WHEN YOU NEVER GET TO SEE HIM,

NEVER GET TO TALK TO HIM...

- OH, LAVERNE, YOU'RE MAKING YOURSELF MISERABLE.

LOOK, YOU DON'T SEE ME

SITTING AROUND FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF

JUST BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE ANY PLANS.

I'M GOING HOME TO HEAT UP SOME LEFTOVER TACO BELL.

SIT IN THE DARK AND...

OH, GOD. COME ON, LAVERNE.

WE'RE GOIN' OUT.

HEY, CHARLEY. WHAT ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT?

- PRACTICING HARRY'S SIGNATURE.

- WELL, WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, BRING HIS CREDIT CARD.

YOU'RE COMING WITH US.

- COOL. I'LL CALL MY BUD, BUD.

WE'LL MAKE IT A PARTY.

- DOCTOR, I REALLY DON'T KNOW

'CAUSE I TOLD MATT I'D BE HOME TONIGHT.

- SO, LEAVE HIM A MESSAGE AND TELL HIM YOU'RE NOT.

- MAXINE, YOU'RE A DOCTOR.

MAYBE WHILE WE'RE OUT,

YOU CAN FIND SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME.

- [laughs] YEAH.

- IN THE DESERT YOU CAN'T REMEMBER YOUR NAME

'CAUSE THERE AIN'T NO ONE FOR TO GIVE YOU NO PAIN

LA LA LA LA LA

LA LA LA LA LA

- BOY, CHARLEY'S REALLY BELTIN' OUT.

- YEAH, IF HE DOESN'T STOP SOON,

I'M GONNA BELT HIM.

YOU KNOW, I WISH HE'D SING TENOR...

10 OR 12 MILES AWAY FROM HERE.

COME ON, LAVERNE. CHEER UP.

I'M WORKIN' HERE.

- YOU REALLY THINK SHE'S FUNNY?

- NO. JUST BEIN' POLITE.

- HEY, THIS PLACE IS GREAT.

COME ON, MAXINE. LET'S GO PICK OUT A DUET.

- SURE.

- I KNOW. WE CAN DO EBONY AND IVORY.

- GET REAL.

- HEY, LAVERNE. WHY DON'T YOU GET UP THERE AND SING SOMETHING?

- OH, ARE YOU KIDDIN'?

WHEN I SING IT SOUNDS LIKE A 350 CHEVY THAT THREW A ROD.

- I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.

WHEN I SING IT SOUNDS LIKE A BUSTED INTAKE VALVE.

- WITH THE BLOWN HEAD GASKET?

- YOU'VE HEARD ME.

- IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU KNOW A THING OR TWO ABOUT CARS.

- WELL, I HOPE I DO.

I'M THE PIT CREW CHIEF FOR BOB MASON JUNIOR.

- MADMAN MASON?

THE 39TH FASTEST MAN IN THE WORLD?

SAY, I HEARD HE GOT HIS EAR BURNT OFF.

- YEAH, BUT... IT WASN'T FROM RACIN'.

CURLING IRON.

BUT YOU DIDN'T HEAR THAT FROM ME.

- WOW.

PIT CREW...

OOH, I TELL YOU, THAT WOULD BE MY DREAM JOB.

- WELL, IT AIN'T WHAT IT'S ALL CRACKED UP TO BE.

I MEAN, MOST OF IT IS JUST HURRY UP AND WAIT

AND HURRY UP AND WAIT.

- AND PROBABLY A LOT OF THIS:

[imitating a roaring engine]

NO PHONE, NO POOL, NO PETS

I AIN'T GOT NO CIGARETTES

- WHO SAYS WHITE PEOPLE AIN'T GOT SOUL?

- [singing continues]

- ALL RIGHT, DREYFUSS.

LET'S SPRUCE YOU UP FOR YOUR BIG DATE.

COME ON, COME ON.

GET UP. COME ON. SIT UP.

- DADDY, HE'S REALLY TIRED. - FROM WHAT?

- WELL, SCOTTY AND I TOOK HIM TO THE PARK

AND WE SPENT ALL AFTERNOON PLAYING FETCH.

- CAROL, HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?

YOU KNOW THAT LADY'S COMING OVER WITH HER DOG TONIGHT.

- SO? - SO,

IF EVERYTHING GOES WELL, SHE'LL LET DREYFUSS...

YOU KNOW, WITH HER DOG.

- WHAT, DADDY?

- CAROL, YOU KNOW.

MAKE--MAKE PUPPIES.

- DADDY, YOU CAN SAY "MATE" IN FRONT OF ME.

COME ON. IT'S EASY.

MATE, MATE, MATE, MATE. - ENOUGH, ENOUGH, ENOUGH.

I MEAN, LOOK AT HIM. HE LOOKS HALF-DEAD.

- OH, SHE'LL JUST THINK HE'S PLAYING HARD TO GET.

- LOOKS LIKE HE'S PLAYING HARD TO RESUSCITATE.

[doorbell rings]

YEAH, DREYF. SAVE YOUR ENERGY.

I'LL GET IT.

OH, MRS. PROCKETT. HOW ARE YOU?

RUBY, HOW ARE YOU DOING?

- WELL, WE'RE JUST KIND OF ON PINS AND NEEDLES.

WHERE'S THE DOG OF THE HOUR?

MY, WHAT A BIG FLUFFY FELLOW.

REMINDS ME OF THE REVEREND PROCKETT.

THAT WOULD BE MY MISTER.

- COME ON, DREYFUSS, WE'LL GO OUT IN THE BACKYARD

AND GIVE RUBY THE GRAND TOUR.

WHOA.

- MY, DREYFUSS CERTAINLY HAS A BEAUTIFUL SISTER.

- I'LL BE SURE TO TELL HER.

SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

I MEAN, DREYFUSS AND RUBY REALLY SEEM TO BE HITTING IT OFF.

- YES, THEY DO ME A HANDSOME COUPLE.

THEY DO.

I BET THEY'D MAKE SOME CUTE LITTLE ONES.

- VERY CUTE.

- I WONDER WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT OUT THERE.

- WHO?

- WELL, THE PARENTS-TO-BE, OF COURSE.

OH, WE HAVE TO PICK OUT SOME NAMES.

NOW, I'VE JOTTED DOWN A FEW.

LET ME JUST RUN THEM BY YOU.

ELTON, COOPER,

CHELSEA, KAYLA,

BRENDON, AND SPOT.

- THEY SOUND FINE.

- AND IT WOULD BE ALRIGHT WITH YOU

IF WE SPLIT THE COST OF THE BIRTH ANNOUNCEMENTS?

- UH, EXCUSE ME?

- WELL, I THINK THAT'S ONLY FAIR

SEEING AS HOW WE'RE GOING TO BE IN-LAWS NOW.

WE'RE PRESBYTERIAN.

WHAT ARE YOU?

- I'M...A LITTLE CONFUSED.

I MEAN, YOU KNOW, WE'RE TALKING ABOUT DOGS HERE.

- WELL, THAT SEEMS A BIT CAVALIER.

I MEAN, AFTER ALL,

WE'RE BRINGING SEVEN TO TEN NEW LIVES INTO THIS WORLD.

- YES, BUT THEY-- THEY'RE DOGS.

- WHOSE MOUTHS ARE CLEANER, THAN HUMANS.

AND NEVER A ONE HAS STARTED A WAR.

- DADDY, THE DOGS GOT OUT. - WHAT?

- MY MY GOD, RUBY.

- THEY--THEY JUMPED THE FENCE.

- THEY'VE ELOPED.

- ELOPED? THEY'RE DOGS!

- HEY, DR. DOUGLAS. I WANNA THANK YOU

FOR DRAGGIN' ME OUT LAST NIGHT.

I ENDED UP HAVIN' ONE HELL OF A TIME.

- YEAH, WELL, I HAVE ONE HELL OF A HEADACHE.

- WHY? D'YOU DRINK TOO MUCH?

- NO, YOU SANG TOO MUCH.

- YEAH, ME AND BUD SANG EVERY CAR SONG WE COULD THINK UP.

PLUS PURPLE PEOPLE EATER.

NOW, I LOVE A SONG WITH A GOOD STORY.

- YEAH, WELL, YOU TWO DID SEEM PRETTY CHUMMY UP THERE.

- YEAH, HE'S A NICE FELLOW.

DO YOU KNOW HE IS THE CHIEF OF A REAL LIFE NASCAR PIT CREW?

WE STOPPED FOR GAS.

WE WAS IN AND OUT IN 22 SECONDS.

- WELL, I'M GLAD YOU HAD A GOOD TIME.

- YEAH, AND WHEN I GOT HOME,

THERE WAS A MESSAGE ON MY MACHINE FROM MY MATTIE.

- YEAH? WELL, WHEN I GOT HOME,

MY CAT HAD BURIED THE REMOTE IN THE LITTER BOX.

- HEY, LADIES, GUESS WHAT?

BUD GOT US THREE PIT PASSES

FOR THE SOUTH FLORIDA 500 THIS WEEKEND.

- OH, MY LORD.

AL UNSER JUNIOR IS SUPPOSED TO BE THERE.

MATT IS COMIN' IN ON FRIDAY,

DO YOU THINK BUD CAN GET ANOTHER PASS?

- LAVERNE, I DON'T THINK THAT'S SUCH A GOOD IDEA.

BUD'S KINDA GOT THE HOTS FOR YOU.

- OOH, TONE-DEAF LOVE.

- COME ON, CHARLEY.

ME AND BUD JUST HAD FUN, THAT'S ALL.

- LAVERNE, LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT GUYS AND FUN.

GUYS DON'T HAVE FUN UNLESS THEY GOT THE HOTS FOR YA.

- WELL, I'M AFRAID I ALREADY HAVE A BEAU.

[phone rings]

CANAL STREET CLINIC.

OH, HI, MATTIE, I GOT YOUR MESSAGE LAST NIGHT.

I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU.

AGAIN?

YEAH, WELL, I UNDERSTAND,

BUT I DON'T HAVE TO LIKE IT.

MATT, I CAN'T GET A FLIGHT OUT NOW.

YEAH, WELL, I'M-- I'M SORRY TOO.

- YOU OKAY, LAVERNE?

- FINE.

MATT CAN'T COME LAST WEEKEND,

OR NEXT WEEKEND, OR THIS WEEKEND.

THE ONLY ONE GETTIN' ANYTHING OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP

IS THE PHONE COMPANY.

- WELL, AT LEAST NOW YOU CAN JOIN US IN THE PITS.

- I MIGHT AS WELL. I'M ALREADY THERE.

- OH, DREYFFY.

IT'S SO GOOD TO HAVE YOU BACK.

OH, YOU SWEET, SWEET, DREYFFY.

BAD DOG.

BAD, BAD DOG.

- CAROL, CAROL, WE ALREADY DID THE BAD DOG THING IN THE CAR.

DREYFFY FEELS BAD ENOUGH.

BAD DOG.

DID YOU GET A HOLD OF MRS. PROCKETT?

- I DIDN'T HAVE TO.

THE WOMAN'S BEEN CALLING EVERY FIVE MINUTES.

DADDY, SHE'S WEIRD. - YES, I KNOW.

BUT YOU REALLY CAN'T BLAME HER.

SHE'S WORRIED ABOUT HER DOG.

- DADDY, TODAY SHE BROUGHT OVER A PSYCHIC.

HE SNIFFED ME.

- ANYWAY...

UH, SOPHIA, I'M JUST GLAD YOU FOUND THEM.

- I WONDER WHY THEY ENDED UP AT SHADY PINES.

- EVERYONE ENDS UP AT SHADY PINES.

CIAO.

- OH. WAIT, WAIT, SOPHIA.

DON'T YOU WANT A RIDE HOME?

- WHAT ARE YOU, DEAF? I WANT SOME CHOW.

[doorbell rings]

- ALL RIGHT.

HI, MRS. PROCKETT.

- OH, MY BABY.

AWAY FOR MOMMY AND DADDY ALL NIGHT LONG

ROAMING THE STREETS WITH THIS HOOLIGAN.

- HOOLIGAN? EXCUSE ME, BUT...

DID IT EVER OCCUR TO YOU THAT MAYBE IT WAS RUBY

WHO JUMPED THE FENCE FIRST, AND DREYFUSS WENT ALONG

JUST TO MAKE SURE SHE DIDN'T GET IN ANY TROUBLE?

- LIKE THE GENTLEMAN HE IS.

- A GENTLEMAN ROGUE.

- ANYWAY, LOOK, I GOT THE DOGS HOME SAFE AND SOUND.

YOU COULD THANK ME.

- IT WILL BE A COLD DAY

IN H-E DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS BEFORE I THANK YOU.

AFTER THE ORDEAL YOU'VE PUT US THROUGH...

RUBY, COME ON. I SAID COME ON, RUBY.

WE'RE NOT MARRYING INTO THIS FAMILY.

- POOR DREYFUSS.

HIS HEART IS BROKEN.

THEY YEARN FOR EACH OTHER,

YET THEIR FAMILIES CANNOT GET ALONG.

IT'S SO ROMEO AND JULIET.

- CAROL, THEY'RE DOGS.

- HEY, LAVERNE, WE'RE OFF TO THE RACES.

- OH, CHARLEY, I'M AFRAID I CAN'T GO.

I'D BE GOIN' FOR ALL THE WRONG REASONS.

- DON'T FEEL BAD ABOUT THAT.

EVERYBODY GOES TO SEE PEOPLE CRASH.

BESIDES, BUD REALLY LIKES YOU.

- WELL, CHARLEY, HE'S A NICE FELLOW AND ALL,

BUT I'D ONLY BE LEADIN' HIM ON.

- NUH-UH. YOU'D ALSO BE GETTING BACK AT MATT.

- I WOULD NEVER GO OUT WITH ANYBODY JUST FOR SPITE.

- WHY NOT? CHICKS GO OUT WITH ME

ALL THE TIME TO SPITE PEOPLE.

THEIR HUSBANDS, THEIR FATHERS,

THEMSELVES...

COME ON, LAVERNE.

YOU CAN'T JUST SIT HERE AND BE SAD.

- THAT'S MIGHTY SWEET OF YOU, CHARLEY,

BUT I'LL BE OKAY.

- OKAY, LAVERNE.

TAKE CARE. - THANKS.

- OH.

UH, LAVERNE, I DON'T KNOW QUITE HOW TO SAY THIS.

I WAS KINDA COUNTING ON YOUR GAS MONEY.

THAT'S OKAY. YOU CAN PAY ME LATER.

- BE HOME, BE HOME, BE HOME.

BE HOME.

OF COURSE, YOU'RE NOT HOME.

HI, IT'S ME.

UM, I REALLY WISH YOU WERE THERE

'CAUSE I REALLY NEED TO TALK TO YOU, MATT.

YOU AND ME HAVE A BIG PROBLEM SO...

PLEASE CALL ME AS SOON AS YOU CAN.

- HOW 'BOUT NOW?

- MATT.

OH, MATT, I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE.

BUT YOU AND ME, WE NEED TO TALK

'CAUSE THIS AIN'T NO WAY TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP.

WE NEVER SEE EACH OTHER.

- I KNOW.

- I MEAN, YOU'RE ALL I EVER THINK ABOUT,

AND YOU'RE SO BUSY THERE, AND I'M SO BUSY HERE,

WE CAN JUST NEVER GET TOGETHER,

AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, MATT.

IT'S JUST MAKIN' ME REALLY MISERABLE.

- IT'S MAKIN' ME MISERABLE, TOO.

I'M AFRAID IT'S GOT TO END.

- YEAH.

I GUESS SO.

- SO...

THAT'S WHY I GOT YOU THIS.

- WHAT IS THIS?

- MOST OF NEXT YEAR'S SALARY.

LAVERNE...

WILL YOU MARRY ME?

- OH, MATTIE, YES.

[doorbell rings]

- OH.

- HELL DR. WESTON. REMEMBER ME?

- OH, YEAH. MRS., UH...KROVITZ.

- PROCKETT.

- OH, YES. SURE. IT'S--IT'S BEEN A WHILE.

- IT'S BEEN THREE MONTHS.

- SO, HOW'S, UH...RUDY?

- RUBY. - OH.

- AND FOR STARTERS, SHE HAS LOST HER FIGURE.

- I--I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

- WELL, A DEAL IS A DEAL.

- OH. - HERE YOU ARE.

- OH, WHAT A SWEETIE.

LOOK AT HIM, OH. BOY, LOOK AT THIS.

DRYFFY... LOOK....

YOU'RE A DADDY. LOOK AT HIM.

- AND YOU OWE ME 1,500 BUCKS. - FOR WHAT?

- VET BILLS, BIRTH ANNOUNCEMENTS,

AND PSYCHOLOGICAL COUNSELING.

- FOR RUBY?

- NO, FOR ME.

I'M FAR TOO YOUNG TO BE A GRANDMOTHER.

AFTER TWO DAYS IN THE DESERT SUN

MY SKIN BEGAN TO TURN RED

AFTER THREE DAYS IN THE DESERT FUN

I WAS LOOKING AT A RIVERBED

AND THE STORY IT TOLD ABOUT A RIVER THAT FLOWED

MADE ME SAD TO THINK IT WAS DEAD

YOU SEE, I'VE BEEN THROUGH THE DESERT

ON A HORSE WITH NO NAME

IT FELT GOOD TO BE OUT OF THE RAIN

IN THE DESERT YOU CAN'T REMEMBER YOUR NAME

'CAUSE THERE AIN'T NO ONE FOR TO GIVE YOU NO PAIN

LA LA LA LA LA

LA LA LA LA LA

LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LAA

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0