Original subtitles

- "DATELINE MIAMI.

"THE STADIUM CHEERED

"AS THE GALLANT GLADIATORS OF THE GRIDIRON

"TRIUMPHANTLY RAN OFF THE FOOTBALL DIAMOND.

"THE FELLOWS WITH THE FISH ON THEIR HELMETS--

"I BELIEVE THEY'RE CALLED THE MIAMI PESCADORS--

"WORE LIGHT-COLORED UNIFORMS

"AND GOT MUCH DIRTIER THAN THE OTHER TEAM,

WHO HAD THE GOOD SENSE TO WEAR A DARKER COLOR."

WHO SAYS WOMEN CAN'T WRITE SPORTS?

- HEY, CAROL.

- HI, SOPHIA. ARE YOU GOING ON A TRIP?

- NO. I'M TRAINING FOR THE BELLHOP OLYMPICS.

CAN I CRASH HERE A FEW DAYS TIL I FIND A NEW PLACE?

- OF COURSE. WHAT'S THE MATTER?

- IT'S LEMPKE, THE NEW MANAGER AT SHADY PINES.

HE TREATS US LIKE CHILDREN.

HERE. LOOK AT THIS.

- "LIGHTS OUT AT 9:00.

"NO MORE BUS TRIPS TO ST. GENEVIEVE FOR BINGO.

NO DESSERTS. NO MORE SODA."

- PLUS, HE BLOCKED THE PLAYBOY CHANNEL.

- SOPHIA, HE JUST ARBITRARILY CAME

AND TOOK THESE THINGS AWAY FROM YOU?

WELL, YOU HAVE TO FIGHT BACK.

YOU HAVE TO STAND UP FOR YOUR RIGHTS.

- I DID. I ORGANIZED A PROTEST RALLY.

- WELL, GOOD. WHAT HAPPENED?

- NOTHING. THE RALLY WAS AT 8:00,

AND BY 7:30 EVERYBODY WAS ASLEEP.

- LIFE GOES ON

AND SO DO WE

JUST HOW WE DO IT IS NO MYSTERY

ONE BY ONE

WE FILL THE DAYS

WE FIND A THOUSAND DIFFERENT WAYS

SOMETIMES THE ANSWER CAN BE HARD TO FIND

THAT'S SOMETHING I WILL NEVER BE

I'M ALWAYS HERE

FOR ANYTHING YOU NEED

RAIN OR SHINE

I'LL BE THE ONE

TO SHARE IT ALL AS LIFE GOES ON

WE SHARE IT ALL

AS LIFE GOES ON

[phone ringing]

[ringing continues]

- CANAL STREET CLINIC.

YES, LAVERNE. I KNOW IT RANG TEN TIMES,

BUT I COULDN'T GET MR. JENKINS' BLOOD

TO CLOT ANY FASTER.

SO HOW ARE THINGS IN HICKORY?

THE TRIAL'S BEEN POSTPONED AGAIN?

ALL RIGHT. KEEP US POSTED.

- DID SHE SAY WHEN SHE'S COMING BACK?

- SHE HASN'T EVEN TESTIFIED YET.

SEEMS THERE'S BEEN A DELAY.

APPARENTLY, THEY NEEDED THE JUDGE'S ROBE

FOR THE HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION.

- HI, EVERYONE. I'M BACK.

- HAVE--HAVE-- HAVE WE MET?

- SURE WE HAVE. DON'T YOU REMEMBER ME?

I WAS A VOLUNTEER HERE.

- OH, OF COURSE. MAXINE, LOOK.

IT'S DOLORES.

- DORIS.

- RIGHT.

- OH, YEAH, DORIS.

IT'S ALL COMING BACK TO ME NOW.

- SO, WHAT--WHAT BRINGS YOU INTO THE NEIGHBORHOOD?

- MY JOB. - REALLY? WHERE DO YOU WORK?

- HERE.

THE AGENCY SENT ME.

both: OH.

- YEAH, I--I JUST GRADUATED FROM NURSING SCHOOL.

THIS IS MY FIRST JOB.

- OH, WELL! WELL, CONGRATULATIONS.

- HOW LUCKY FOR US.

WE GET YOU BEFORE YOU'RE TARNISHED BY EXPERIENCE.

- YOU KNOW, IT WAS LAVERNE

WHO INSPIRED ME TO GO INTO NURSING.

I'LL NEVER FORGET HER WORDS:

"WHITE'S A GOOD COLOR FOR YOU."

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M GONNA BE WORKING WITH MY MENTOR.

- OH, DORIS. LAVERNE'S NOT HERE.

YOU'LL FILLING IN FOR HER.

- WHAT?

NO. I--I COULD NEVER FILL IN FOR LAVERNE.

SHE'S MY IDOL.

I'M NOT READY FOR THIS.

OH, STUPID, STUPID--

- NO, NO, COME HERE. COME HERE. NO, NO.

DORIS, DORIS, DON'T DO THAT.

COME HERE. JUST SIT DOWN.

DID YOU, UH--

DID YOU PASS THE NURSING BOARDS?

- YES, I DID.

I THOUGHT YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE ME

SO I BROUGHT THEM JUST TO SHOW YOU.

AND HERE ARE SOME PICTURES OF MY GRADUATION.

- OKAY.

THESE ARE PHENOMENAL.

- OH, WELL, THEY'RE A LITTLE OUT OF FOCUS.

IT'S HARD TO TAKE A PICTURE OF YOURSELF.

- NO, NO, NO, NO, DEAR.

THESE SCORES.

I MEAN, I KNOW YOU CAN DO THIS JOB.

AND YOU'LL MAKE LAVERNE VERY PROUD.

RIGHT, MAX?

- WELL, YEAH, BUT--

- WELL, OKAY THEN. I'LL JUST GO PUT AWAY MY THINGS.

- HARRY...

DORIS?

I MEAN, SHE'S KIND OF A FLAKE.

- SHE IS NOT A FLAKE.

- OH, PLEASE, HARRY.

YOU POUR MILK ON HER, SHE'S BREAKFAST.

I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW IF WE CAN TRUST THIS WOMAN.

- MAXINE, WE NEED SOMEBODY, AND SHE KNOWS THE CLINIC.

BESIDES, LOOK AT THESE SCORES.

[thump]

- UH, COULD SOMEONE HELP ME?

I GOT MY HAIR CAUGHT IN THE LOCKER.

- I GUESS THAT WASN'T ON THE TEST.

- [sniffing]

MM, SOMETHING SMELLS GOOD.

- THANK YOU.

IT'S MY NEW RECIPE.

- I WAS TALKING ABOUT ME.

IT'S MY NEW AFTERSHAVE.

SO, WHEN'S DINNER? I'M STARVED.

- CHARLEY, YOU ARE NOT EATING HERE TONIGHT.

THAT IS SOPHIA'S PLACE.

- OH, MAN, SHE'S STILL HERE?

WHAT A MOOCH.

- HI, SOPHIA. HI, DADDY.

HOW WAS BOWLING?

- PICTURE THIS.

TENTH FRAME.

DEAD-EYE SOPHIA

STARES DOWN THE DREADED SEVEN-TEN SPLIT.

SHE APPROACHES THE LINE,

DRAWS BACK,

FORWARD RELEASE.

POING PWANG.

- NOTHING BUT PIN.

- HEY, HARRY.

HOW COME YOU NEVER TAKE ME BOWLING?

- I TOOK YOU ONCE.

YOU KNOCKED YOURSELF OUT

WHEN YOU STUCK YOUR HEAD IN THE BALL RETURN.

- OH.

MAYBE THAT'S WHY I DON'T REMEMBER.

- MAYBE.

NOW, GO HOME.

- FINE.

I'LL EAT ALONE.

- I MAKING SCONCIGLI, SOPHIA.

AND I THINK IT'S GOING TO BE DELIZIOSO.

- MORE LIKE ALPO.

OUT OF THE WAY. WHERE'S THE GARLIC?

- UH, SOPHIA, I REALLY APPRECIATE

YOUR DOING SO MUCH COOKING,

BUT I HAVE TO BE HONEST WITH YOU.

I'M NOT A BIG FAN OF THE GARLIC.

- BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU.

- BUT THIS MORNING YOU PUT GARLIC IN MY WAFFLES.

- TRUST ME.

IN THREE DAYS, YOUR HAIR WILL BE JET BLACK,

AND YOU'LL BE AS VIRILE AS A BULL.

- OH, THAT REMINDS ME, DADDY.

TRUDY CALLED.

- WHO'S--WHO'S TRUDY?

- JUST, UH-- A LADY I'VE BEEN SEEING.

- DO I KNOW HER? - UH, NO.

WHAT TIME DOES SHE WANT ME TO PICK HER UP?

- WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

- JUST TO THE MOVIES.

- PICK HER UP AT 9:00.

- 9:00? IT'S A WORK NIGHT.

- SOPHIA, YOU SOUND JUST LIKE MY MOTHER.

- AND IF MAMA'S LITTLE BOY ISN'T HOME BY 12:00,

BADA-BING.

- BADA-BING?

- BADA-BING!

- I GET IT.

CAROL, CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A MINUTE, PLEASE?

HONEY...

I LOVE SOPHIA,

BUT SHE'S MAKING ME A LITTLE CRAZY.

NOW, WHAT'S HAPPENING WITH--WITH SHADY PINES?

- I'M ON IT, DADDY. I'VE ALREADY CONTACTED

THE OLDER WOMEN'S LEAGUE, THE A.A.R.P,

AND THE GRAY PANTHERS.

- HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT CONTACTING SHADY PINES?

- THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE EXPECTING.

INSTEAD, I'M PLANNING TO WRITE A SCATHING EDITORIAL

- FOR NEXT WEEK'S CRIER-- - OH, NEXT WEEK?

NEXT WEEK. CAROL, PLEASE.

SOPHIA NEEDS TO BE WITH HER FRIENDS.

- FIRST THING TOMORROW MORNING

I WILL MARCH DOWN TO SHADY PINES

AND CONFRONT THAT MR. LEMPKE.

WE SHALL OVERCOME.

- HARRY, DO ME A FAVOR.

RUN TO THE STORE. WE'RE OUT OF GARLIC.

- OVERCOME QUICK.

- D-E-A-R SPACE.

S-I-R COLON. RETURN, RETURN TAB.

P-L-E-A-S-E SPACE B-E SPACE.

A-D-V-I-S-E-D SPACE.

- DORIS? - D-O-R-I-S SPA--

- OOPS.

DELETE, DELETE, DELETE, DELETE, DELETE.

- DO YOU HAVE TO TYPE OUT LOUD?

- YES.

NO.

SORRY.

- I'LL DO THAT.

LOOK, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE MR. SPAULDING TO EXAM ROOM ONE?

- YES, SIR-- MA'AM--DOCTOR.

- MAXINE, WHY ARE YOU TYPING?

WHY ISN'T DORIS DOING IT?

- BECAUSE SHE'S WEIRD, HARRY.

SHE TALKS TO THE COMPUTER.

- SHE GETS THE JOB DONE.

- YEAH, BUT SHE'S WEIRD.

HER LOCKER SMELLS LIKE MUSTARD.

- YOU'RE SNIFFING HER LOCKER,

AND SHE'S WEIRD?

- WELL, YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE IS A LITTLE HIGH.

- THAT'S BECAUSE I'M NERVOUS.

WHERE'S THE OTHER NURSE?

THE ONE WITH ALL THE SOUTHERN STORIES.

THEY CALM ME DOWN.

- OH, I'M FILLING IN FOR HER.

- OKAY.

SO YOU TELL ME A SOUTHERN STORY.

- I'LL TRY.

UH, IT WAS A WARM SPRING DAY WHEN SCARLETT O'HARA

SWEPT DOWN THE STAIRS AND SAID, "FIDDLE-DEE-DEE,

WHAT SHALL I DO?"

- DORIS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

- OH, I'M PUTTING THE PATIENT AT EASE.

SEE, AT NURSING SCHOOL THEY TAUGHT US--

- UH, ALL RIGHT, DORIS. I'LL TAKE OVER FROM HERE.

- OKAY. I WAS AT THE PART

WHERE SCARLETT'S COMING DOWN THE STAIRS.

- UH...

WHY DON'T YOU MAKE SOME COFFEE?

- OH, I'M SORRY. THAT WAS STUPID.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT THE STORY,

BUT OF COURSE YOU WERE TALKING--

- UH-UH.

JUST MAKE SOME COFFEE AND...

BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING ELSE,

CHECK WITH ME.

- YES, DOCTOR.

- AND REMEMBER:

EIGHT LEVEL SCOOPS.

OK, MR. SPAULDING,

LET'S CHECK YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE.

- THE NURSE ALREADY DID THAT.

- WELL, IT DOESN'T HURT TO DOUBLE CHECK.

- TWO, THREE, FOUR-- - OH, DORIS, BEFORE--

- OH, FUDGE. I LOST COUNT.

HERE.

- DORIS, IS--IS SOMETHING WRONG?

- I'M AN INCOMPETENT NURSE.

- DON'T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF.

A LOT OF NURSES CAN'T MAKE COFFEE.

- IT'S NOT JUST COFFEE,

IT'S EVERYTHING.

- DORIS, WHAT IS WRONG?

- DR. DOUGLAS MAKES ME NERVOUS.

SHE DOESN'T TRUST ME.

I TOOK MRS. VERALIS' TEMPERATURE, SHE RETOOK IT.

I FILED SOME FILES, SHE REFILED THEM.

IN THE WRONG PLACE.

SO I RE-REFILED THEM,

BUT SHE CAUGHT ME.

SO THEN I HAD TO SNEAK BACK IN

AND RE-RE-RE-RE--

- DORIS, DORIS...

I--I--I-- I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN.

ALL RIGHT, WELL...

MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE A TALK WITH HER.

- NO.

WHEN A NURSE HAS A CONFLICT WITH A DOCTOR,

SHE HAS TO RESOLVE IT BY HERSELF.

I LEARNED THAT IN MY CLASS

"RESOLVING DOCTOR-NURSE CONFLICTS

BY YOURSELF."

- WELL, GOOD FOR YOU.

I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT.

- THANKS.

I AM CAPABLE, I AM CONFIDENT,

I AM STRONG.

- I AM CAPABLE. - DORIS.

- I-- - ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

- DR. DOUGLAS, UM,

I NEED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING

THAT'S BEEN BOTHERING ME.

- UH, DORIS, I'M KIND OF BUSY. WHAT IS IT?

- AH, UM, WELL...

- WHAT?

- I FORGOT HOW MANY SCOOPS.

NO, SOPHIA'S NOT MY MOTHER,

SHE'S JUST STAYING WITH US.

SHE SAID YOU'RE AFTER MY MONEY?

WELL, TRUDY, UH, YOU'RE A PLASTIC SURGEON.

MAYBE I'M AFTER YOUR MONEY.

HELLO?

- GOOD. YOU'RE HOME.

THE TIME HAS COME.

WE GOTTA GIVE THE OLD BIDDY THE BOOT.

- CHARLEY... - HARRY, SHE'S GONE TOO FAR.

NOT ONLY HAS SHE TAKEN MY PLACE AT THE DINNER TABLE,

BUT SHE BUYS NON-ALCOHOLIC BEER.

AND LOOK AT THIS.

SHE PUT GARLIC IN MY SPAM.

WOW, THIS IS GREAT.

OKAY, SHE CAN STAY.

- CHARLEY, WHAT AM I GONNA DO?

I MEAN, SOPHIA'S LIKE A MOTHER TO ME.

HOW DO YOU GET RID OF YOUR MOTHER?

- WELL, WHAT I USUALLY DO IS TELL HER I NEED A KIDNEY.

NEXT THING YOU KNOW, SHE'S ON A WORLD CRUISE.

- HEY, DUDES. THE OLD LADY'S HOME.

- UH, CHARLEY, WOULD YOU EXCUSE US?

I--I--I WOULD LIKE TO SPEAK WITH SOPHIA ALONE.

- OH, RIGHT.

TOO BAD ABOUT YOUR KIDNEY.

- UH, SOPHIA, DEAR.

I THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A LITTLE TALK.

- I BROUGHT YOU SOME CANNOLI.

- OH... - NOT BEFORE LUNCH.

- UM, HAVE YOU HEARD FROM SHADY PINES?

- SHADY PINES?

I HAVE NO SHADY PINES.

- WELL, I JUST THOUGHT THAT MAYBE YOU MIGHT HAVE GOTTEN--

- THANK GOD FOR YOU, HARRY.

YOU TOOK ME IN, NO QUESTIONS ASKED.

- WELL, I MEAN, OF COURSE, SOPHIA.

I MEAN, YOU AND I--

- HEY, I'M NOT WEARING OUT MY WELCOME, AM I?

- OH, NO, NO, NO. IT'S JUST THAT--

- BECAUSE SOPHIA PETRILLO

WOULD RATHER BE OUT ON THE STREET

PUSHING A RUSTY OLD SHOPPING CART

THAN BE A BURDEN.

- SOPHIA, YOU'RE NOT A BURDEN.

IT'S JUST THAT I WAS THINKING--

- THAT'S MY GOOD BOY.

- GOOD NEWS, EVERYONE.

I JUST CAME BACK FROM SHADY PINES.

- DID YOU TALK TO LEMPKE?

- HE WASN'T THERE SO I TOOK SOMETHING,

SOMETHING VERY PRECIOUS TO HIM.

COME ON IN, EVERYBODY.

- [giggling] OH.

[indistinct chatter]

- IT'S A WALK-OUT, DADDY.

WE'RE GONNA BRING LEMPKE TO HIS KNEES!

ENTER BRAVE FREEDOM FIGHTERS,

AND JOIN YOUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS

OF THE RESISTANCE.

- NICE GOING, RED.

LET'S SEE HOW LONG LEMPKE LASTS WITHOUT OUR RENT.

- WE WANT HIM TO CRAWL. - GROVEL.

- GIVE ME A BODY MASSAGE.

WELL, I-- I HAVE A LITTLE CRUSH.

- CAROL, THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

I'M CALLING LEMPKE.

- I'M NOT SURE I HAVE THE AUTHORITY TO DO THIS.

MAYBE YOU'D BETTER WAIT FOR DR. DOUGLAS.

- LADY, ANYBODY CAN SIGN FOR DELIVERY.

I'VE HAD KIDS DO IT.

I'VE HAD PETS DO IT.

- WELL, IF YOU THINK IT'S ALL RIGHT.

UH, YOU'RE NEXT, MR. KOBARA.

- IT'S OKAY IF I GET SOME WATER?

OR WILL THAT EXCEED YOUR AUTHORITY?

- HELP YOURSELF.

UM, DR. DOUGLAS WILL BE WITH YOU IN A MOMENT.

WHILE YOU WAIT, YOU CAN STRIP TO YOUR SHORTS.

YOU KNOW, IF YOU DON'T MIND.

- AREN'T YOU GOING TO WEIGH ME?

- OH, DR. DOUGLAS PREFERS TO DO THAT HERSELF.

- WHAT ABOUT TAKING MY TEMPERATURE?

- SHE'LL DO THAT TOO.

- BUT DO YOU MIND HANGING THIS UP?

- OKAY.

NO, I'D BETTER NOT.

OH, MY GOD.

CAN YOU HEAR ME?

DR. DOUGLAS!

OKAY.

- DORIS, WHAT IS GOING--?

OH, LORD.

- HE'S NOT BREATHING AND HE DOESN'T HAVE A PULSE.

- ALL RIGHT, LET ME IN THERE.

- I'VE GOT THIS. - NO, DORIS.

- I GOT THIS. DAMN IT. YOU GET THE PADDLES.

- YES, MA'AM.

- COME ON, BUDDY. BREATHE.

ONE, TWO, THREE,

FOUR, FIVE, SIX...

- YOU'RE GONNA BE JUST FINE.

I'LL BE BY TO SEE YOU ON MY ROUNDS.

- HEY, NURSEY.

- YES.

- I NEVER THANKED YOU FOR THE WATER

AND... YOU KNOW, EVERYTHING.

- ANYTIME.

DR. DOUGLAS?

I'M SORRY I YELLED AT YOU.

I KNOW IT WAS UNPROFESSIONAL.

- WELL, UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES,

I'D SAY IT WAS, UH, VERY PROFESSIONAL.

AND ACTUALLY, I OWE YOU AN APOLOGY.

- YOU DO?

- I HAVEN'T BEEN VERY FAIR TO YOU, DORIS.

I HAVEN'T LET YOU DO A THING SINCE YOU GOT HERE.

- REALLY? I HADN'T NOTICED.

OKAY, I DID NOTICE. YOU WERE A JERK.

SORRY.

- IT'S OKAY.

I WAS A JERK.

WELL, LET'S PUT THIS BEHIND US

AND START OVER, WHAT DO YOU SAY?

- DEAL.

- HEY, IS IT GONNA BE MUCH LONGER?

I'M FREEZING IN THERE.

- MEAN OLD LEMPKE RAN A HOME

DOO-DAH, DOO-DAH

NOW HE SITS THERE ALL ALONE

WE WISH HE WOULD DIE

DIE LEMPKE DIE

DIE LEMPKE DIE

- HEY, HEY, HEY.

PETER, PAUL, AND LAME-O, GIVE IT A REST.

- HEY, HOW'S THIS FOR A CHANT?

"MEANER THAN A PIT-BULL,

"ALWAYS SUCH A HASSLE.

"WE THINK MR. LEMPKE

IS NOTHING BUT A--"

- [mutters]

COME ON NOW, PLEASE.

LET'S BE CIVIL.

THE MAN IS COMING HERE TO NEGOTIATE.

[doorbell ringing]

- HE'S HERE.

HE CAME IN THE SHADY PINES BUS.

- LIKE HE THINKS WE'RE GOING BACK THERE.

WHAT A NITWIT.

all: NITWIT! NITWIT! NITWIT! NITWIT!

- STOP, STOP, STOP THAT.

JUST REMEMBER, CIVIL.

NOW, NO ONE RAISES THEIR VOICE

NO MATTER HOW NASTY HE GETS.

- HI, EVERYONE. I BROUGHT COOKIES.

- THOSE ARE FAT-FREE.

- WE HATE FAT-FREE.

- AND WE HATE YOU.

- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA COME HERE. WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

WHY SO HOSTILE?

- WE WANT OUR CABLE.

- AND NO MORE CURFEW.

- BITE ME.

all: BITE ME! BITE ME! BITE ME! BITE ME!

- PEOPLE, PEOPLE, CALM YOURSELVES.

YOU'LL HAVE A STROKE.

AND PUT DOWN THOSE SIGNS.

YOU'LL POKE AN EYE OUT.

- ALL RIGHT, MR. LEMPKE, SIR.

COME HERE. LET'S--LET'S TALK.

- WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO THESE PEOPLE?

THEY'RE NOT WEARING THEIR SWEATERS.

YOU'RE GIVING THEM POPCORN?

THEY COULD CHOKE.

- [choking]

- OH, NO, SOPHIA.

- GOT YA.

- ALL RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT. THAT'S IT, THAT'S IT.

YOU, YOU, IN THE KITCHEN.

- [playing]

- NOT YOU.

- ALL RIGHT, BUSTER.

YOU'RE IN TROUBLE NOW.

- ALL RIGHT. SOPHIA, JUST SIT, PLEASE.

DO NOT SAY A WORD.

MR. LEMPKE, SIR. THANK YOU.

NOW, OBVIOUSLY YOU CARE VERY MUCH ABOUT THESE PEOPLE,

BUT IS IT POSSIBLE THAT YOU'RE BEING A LITTLE TOO...

I DON'T KNOW... OVERPROTECTIVE?

- OVERPROTECTIVE? ARE YOU CRAZY?

THERE'S--THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS OVERPROTECTIVE.

- THESE PEOPLE HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO DECIDE

HOW TO LIVE THEIR LIVES.

THEY ARE ADULTS.

PUT YOURSELF IN THEIR PLACE.

I'M SURE IT'S NO FUN BEING 80

AND BEING TREATED LIKE YOU'RE 8.

- HEY, IT'S NO FUN BEING 80.

- MR. LEMPKE...

YOUR WHOLE RETIREMENT HOME

IS IN MY LIVING ROOM.

- AND UNLESS YOU LIGHTEN UP, WE'LL STAY HERE FOREVER.

- LEMPKE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

LIGHTEN UP.

- SOPHIA...

IF I AGREE TO MAKE SOME CHANGES,

WOULD YOU COME BACK?

- WHAT ABOUT THE PLAYBOY CHANNEL?

- UNBLOCKED.

- CURFEW. - GONE.

- PET MONKEYS FOR EVERYONE?

- SOPHIA, COME ON. BE SERIOUS.

- HEY, I HAD HIM ON THE ROPES.

- COME ON. ALL RIGHT, COME ON.

LET'S GET THOSE FOLKS BACK TO SHADY PINES.

OKAY.

GOOD NEWS, EVERY--

- WHERE IS EVERYONE?

- ONE, TWO, THREE.

- PUSH.

- ONE, TWO, THREE.

- PUSH!

- OH, MY GOD, DADDY. I'VE CREATED A MONSTER.

THEY'RE TRYING TO TIP OVER THE BUS.

- ONE, TWO, THREE.

- PUSH!

- ONE, TWO, THREE.

- PUSH!

- OH, SOPHIA, I'M REALLY GONNA MISS

HAVING YOU AROUND HERE.

- OH, COME ON, HARRY. I WAS DRIVING YOU NUTS.

- NO, NO. DON'T BE SILLY. - ADMIT IT.

- ALL RIGHT. A LITTLE MAYBE.

- HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT TO ME?

I'M 87 YEARS OLD.

- SOPHIA, COME ON. GIVE ME A KISS GOOD-BYE.

- JEEZ, HARRY. LAY OFF THE GARLIC.

MEAN OLD LEMPKE'S NOT SO BAD

DOO-DAH, DOO-DAH

BUT WE STILL LIKE HARRY'S PAD

WE MIGHT STAY ALL DAY

WE MIGHT STAY ALL NIGHT

WE MIGHT STAY ALL DAY

HE'S STILL GOT SOME LIQUOR LEFT

- PLEASE JUST GO AWAY

- BYE HARRY BYE

BYE HARRY BYE

[singing continues]

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