Original subtitles

- IMITATION EGGS, MEATLESS BACON, SALT-FREE SALT.

THIS COULD GIVE YOU AN ARTIFICIAL HEART ATTACK.

HEY, SOPHIA. HOW ARE YOU DOING?

- FINE...JUST FINE. - GOOD.

- [sighs]

- SOPHIA, ARE YOU SURE THERE'S NOTHING WRONG?

- REALLY, I'M FINE. - OH, GOOD.

- [sighs]

- SOPHIA, CAN I GET YOU A CUP OF COFFEE?

- ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, STOP NAGGING ME.

I'LL TELL YOU.

HARRY, I'M BORED.

EVERY DAY AT SHADY PINES IS THE SAME:

GET UP IN THE MORNING, KNIT, KNIT, KNIT, BINGO, BINGO, BINGO.

GO BACK TO BED, GET UP IN THE MORNING,

KNIT, KNIT, KNIT, BINGO, BINGO, BINGO.

BINGO, KNIT, BINGO, KNIT... - [stammering] SOPHIA.

SOPHIA, I-I-I GET THE POINT.

- HARRY, I'M GOIN' NUTS.

I THINK I'M HAVIN' A MIDLIFE CRISIS.

- A-A-A-A MIDLIFE CRISIS AT--AT YOUR AGE?

- HARRY, I'M A LATE BLOOMER. I GOT ACNE AT 50.

- WELL, SOPHIA, IF YOU'RE IN A RUT, DEAR,

JUST TRY DOING SOMETHING DIFFERENT.

- YOU'RE RIGHT.

I'LL GET A TATTOO. - THAT'S--

- I WONDER WHAT'D LOOK BETTER, AN EAGLE OR...

AL MARTINO.

- [grumbling] I'M SO MAD AT MY CRUISE LINE.

I'M GONNA GET EVEN WITH THEM.

HEY, YOU WANNA HELP ME MAKE A TORPEDO?

- CHARLEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?

- I QUIT MY JOB.

- YOU WHAT?

- I HAD TO, HARRY!

ON TOP OF ALL MY OTHER DUTIES,

THEY WANTED ME TO WAX SHUFFLEBOARD PUCKS.

- CHARLEY, THAT DOESN'T SOUND SO BAD.

- HARRY, THEY CALLED ME "PUCK BOY."

- WELL, CHARLEY, I WOULDN'T BE SO QUICK TO GIVE UP MY JOB,

I MEAN, NOT THE WAY THE ECONOMY IS.

- WHY? SOMETHIN' WRONG WITH THE ECONOMY?

- LOOK...

NO...NO, NO. IF I START TO EXPLAIN,

I'LL GET HALF-WAY THROUGH,

YOU'LL GET BORED AND TUNE ME OUT.

- NO! NO, HARRY!

THIS IS IMPORTANT. I REALLY WANNA KNOW.

- ALL RIGHT, WELL, THE ECONOMY IS A RATHER COMPLICATED ISSUE,

BUT, WELL, FOR YOUR PURPOSES,

THE-THE-THE BUSINESS CYCLE IS IN A DOWNTURN,

SO A LOT OF COMPANIES ARE BEGINNING TO FEEL--

- [gagging] THIS MILK'S WARM.

- I'M GLAD I COULD BE OF SOME HELP.

- DADDY, DID YOU SEE THAT GLASS OF BREAST MILK I JUST EXPRESSED?

LIFE GOES ON, AND SO DO WE

JUST HOW WE DO IT IS NO MYSTERY

ONE BY ONE WE FILL THE DAYS

WE FIND A THOUSAND DIFFERENT WAYS

SOMETIMES THE ANSWER CAN BE HARD TO FIND

THAT'S SOMETHING I WILL NEVER BE

I'M ALWAYS HERE

FOR ANYTHING YOU NEED

RAIN OR SHINE

I'LL BE THE ONE

TO SHARE IT ALL AS LIFE GOES ON

WE SHARE IT ALL

AS LIFE GOES ON

- MOM, WHAT ARE YOU SO UPSET ABOUT?

I'M THE ONE WHO'S OUT OF A DREAM JOB ON A CRUISE SHIP.

I GUESS FROM NOW ON, YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO BUY YOUR OWN SOAP.

OH, PLEASE. WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T TELL DIETER.

OKAY, BYE-BYE.

YEAH, I LIKE YOU TOO.

- CHARLEY, WHY CAN'T YOUR BROTHER DIETER KNOW YOU'RE OUT OF A JOB?

- BECAUSE DIETER'S ALWAYS BEEN BETTER THAN ME AT EVERYTHING.

EVERY YEAR, WHEN I WENT INTO A NEW GRADE,

I ALWAYS HAD TO BE BETTER THAN DIETER.

- CHARLEY, THAT OFTEN HAPPENS WITH AN OLDER BROTHER.

- BUT HE'S MY YOUNGER BROTHER.

- THAT ALMOST...NEVER HAPPENS.

- IF HE EVER FOUND OUT I WAS UNEMPLOYED,

I'D NEVER HEAR THE END OF IT.

- CHARLEY, I'M SURE YOUR MOTHER WILL RESPECT YOUR FEELINGS.

[doorbell ringing] - I GOT IT.

DIETER! - I JUST HEARD THE NEWS.

- HOW? - MOM CALLED ME ON MY CAR PHONE.

- BUT SHE PROMISED ME SHE WASN'T GONNA TELL YOU.

- YEAH, WE WERE JUST LAUGHING ABOUT THAT.

- OH, HI, I'M HARRY WESTON.

- DIETER DIETZ, MANAGER OF "USED AUTO DELIGHTS"

AT "USED AUTO PLAZA"

ON USED AUTO BLVD., JUST OFF THE I-95 AT THE USED AUTO EXIT.

NOW, I SEE YOU IN A CONVERTIBLE, MR. WESTON.

- THAT'S DR. WESTON. - DOCTOR.

WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?

MAKE THAT A MERCEDES CONVERTIBLE.

COME IN TODAY. DRIVE IT AWAY.

OPEN EVERY NIGHT UNTIL MIDNIGHT. SE HABLA ESPANOL.

- [chuckling] WELL, LOOK AT THE TIME.

I'LL--I'LL LEAVE YOU TWO TO CHAT FOR A WHILE. ADIOS.

- GOOD TO SEE YOU, CHARLEY. - OW.

- LOOK, I KNOW WE HAVEN'T SPOKEN IN A WHILE.

- WELL, I WANTED TO HAVE CHRISTMAS DINNER WITH YOU AND MOM,

BUT SHE SAID THE TURKEY WAS TOO SMALL.

- YEAH, WE WERE JUST LAUGHING ABOUT THAT TOO.

LOOK, THE REASON I CAME BY IS TO LET YOU KNOW

THAT IF YOU WANNA COME WORK FOR ME...

ALL YOU'VE GOTTA DO IS SAY THE WORD.

- PFF--NO WAY. FORGET IT.

IT'LL BE JUST LIKE WHEN WE HAD THAT LEMONADE STAND.

YOU MADE ALL THE SALES,

AND I STOOD THERE WITH A CAN AROUND MY NECK

FOR PEOPLE TO SPIT THEIR PITS IN.

- CHARLEY, I'M HERE TO HELP. WHY DO YOU RESENT ME SO?

IS IT JUST BECAUSE MOM AND DAD GAVE ME MORE LOVE AND ATTENTION

IN ONE DAY THAN THEY GAVE YOU IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE? OR...

DOES IT GO DEEPER THAN THAT?

- IT GOES A LOT DEEPER.

- YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I FIGURED.

ANYWAY...THINK IT OVER.

IF THERE'S ANYTHING I CAN DO... FEEL FREE TO CALL.

- YOU'RE GONNA GIVE ME YOUR PHONE NUMBER?

- IT'S BETTER IF I CALL YOU.

- HEY, WHAT ARE YOU LOOKIN' AT?

- EXERCISE EQUIPMENT.

LOOK AT HER...

GOD, I HATE THOSE PERFECT MODELS.

- THAT ONE'S NOT PERFECT, SHE'S GOT VARICOSE VEINS.

- I KNOW...

I DREW 'EM THERE.

SO LAVERNE, WHAT DO YOU THINK I SHOULD GET?

AN EXERCYCLE OR A TREADMILL?

- NOW, THAT'LL GIVE YOU A WORK-OUT.

- THE NORDICTRACK? - NO, THE NORDIC ON THE TRACK.

[laughing]

WHAT YOU LOOKIN' AT THAT STUFF FOR ANYWAY?

I THOUGHT YOU'S A JOGGER.

- I USED TO BE.

I DON'T HAVE THE DISCIPLINE TO DO IT BY MYSELF.

- WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR RUNNIN' PARTNER?

- SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO STAY IN SHAPE ANYMORE.

SHE GOT MARRIED.

- WELL, YOU KEEP LOOKIN'

YOU NEED A WAY TO KEEP YOUR CHOLESTEROL DOWN.

- HEY, LAVERNE, JUST HAD A THOUGHT.

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE MY RUNNING PARTNER?

- MM, NO THANKS, DOCTOR,

RUNNIN' NEVER SEEMED LIKE TOO MUCH FUN TO ME.

- IT'S NOT ABOUT FUN.

IT'S ABOUT GETTING UP AT THE CRACK OF DAWN

AND PUSHING YOURSELF PAST YOUR LIMITS TO A SPIRITUAL PLACE.

- NO, THANKS, DOCTOR. I'M JUST NOT INTERESTED.

- THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'VE NEVER BEEN THERE.

IT'S A PLACE THAT'S SO QUIET YOU CAN HEAR YOUR INNER VOICE.

- WHAT'S IT SAYIN'? "GO BACK TO BED"?

- COULD BE SAYIN' "LET'S RUN THROUGH THE PARK,

"WE MIGHT SEE THOSE GUYS WHO LOOK LIKE DENZEL WASHINGTON

AND TOMMY LEE JONES UP AHEAD."

- WILL I NEED SPECIAL SHOES FOR THIS?

- CHARLEY, I'M GLAD YOU CHANGED YOUR MIND.

THAT DUCT TAPE EASING THE CHAFING AROUND YOUR NECK THERE?

- YEAH...RIGHT.

DIETER, I DON'T WANNA EMPTY ASHTRAYS,

I WANNA SELL.

AND I KNOW I GOT WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A SALESMAN.

- CHARLEY, THIS IS USED CARS.

THIS ISN'T ROADSIDE MEAT.

- 'MORNING, DIETER. - JEROD.

CHARLEY, THIS IS JEROD HANDLER,

OWNER AND PRESIDENT OF USED AUTO DELIGHTS.

THIS IS MY BROTHER, CHARLEY.

- NO KIDDING.

DIETER ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT YOU DROWNED IN A WELL.

- I JUST SAY IT AS A GOOF.

JEROD, CHARLEY THINKS HE'S GOT WHAT IT TAKES TO SELL USED CARS.

- ANOTHER ONE, HUH?

I HEAR THAT FROM SO MANY YOUNG MEN LIKE YOU

WITH STARS IN THEIR EYES. [laughing]

- DIETER, THIS ISN'T WORKING OUT.

I THINK I BETTER LOOK FOR ANOTHER JOB.

- LIKE YOU'RE GONNA FIND SOMETHING BETTER THAN THIS.

CHARLEY, THIS IS AN OPPORTUNITY OF A LIFETIME. NOW COME ON.

MOVE YOUR CAN.

[laughing]

HEY, DOC.

GLAD YOU'RE HERE. I'VE GOT A MEDICAL QUESTION.

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO REMOVE A PORSCHE

FROM MY SWOLLEN INVENTORY?

- WELL, I JUST CAME BY TO SEE CHARLEY.

- DIETER DIETZ, YOU HAVE A CUSTOMER CALLING. DIETER DIETZ.

- EXCUSE ME, I'VE GOTTA MAKE ANOTHER DREAM COME TRUE,

BUT WHEN I COME BACK, YOU KNOW THE FIRST THING I'M GONNA DO?

- YEAH...

YOU'RE GONNA WONDER WHERE I WENT.

- GOOD ONE. [laughing]

- HEY, CHARLEY.

- HARRY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' HERE?

- UH, WELL, I JUST CAME BY TO SEE HOW THINGS WERE GOING.

- NOT SO GREAT. LOOK WHAT THEY HAVE ME DOING.

THEY CALL ME "BUTT BOY."

- THAT ONE'S NOT-- NOT QUITE OUT.

- GREAT, I CAN'T EVEN DO THIS RIGHT.

- OH, YOU WILL. YOU WILL. COME ON.

I BET YOU COULDN'T WAX A SHUFFLEBOARD PUCK

THE FIRST TIME EITHER.

- GOD, IS IT ALL OVER TOWN?

- UH, CHARLEY, I HAVE TO GET BACK TO THE CLINIC.

I'M SURE THIS IS ALL JUST...TEMPORARY.

- YEAH, RIGHT.

- IT'S GONNA WORK OUT.

YOU JUST GOTTA TAKE IT A STEP AT A TIME.

YOU JUST BE THE BEST "BUTT BOY" YOU CAN BE.

- OH, GOD. LOOK WHO JUST WALKED IN.

- OUR DEAR MRS. CARLTON, QUEEN OF THE LOOKY-LOOS.

- YEAH, WELL, I GOT STUCK WITH HER LAST TIME,

I'M NOT TAKIN' HER.

- YOU DON'T HAVE TO. WATCH THIS.

HEY, CHARLEY.

STILL WANNA BE A SALESMAN?

- DIETER, FOR GOD'S SAKE. HE'S YOUR BROTHER.

- DID YOU SAY SALESMAN?

- [clearing throat]

THERE'S YOUR FIRST CUSTOMER.

GO GET HER, TIGER.

- OH, YOU WON'T BE SORRY, DIETER.

[laughing]

- HEY THERE, PRETTY LADY.

MY NAME'S CHARLEY DIETZ, AND I'M AT YOUR SERVICE.

CIGARETTE? - DON'T MIND IF I DO.

- I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

GOOD WORK, CHARLEY.

AND CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU, MRS. CARLTON,

ON THE ACQUISITION OF A UNIQUE USED AUTO DELIGHT.

- ALL I KNOW, THERE'S PLENTY OF ROOM IN THE BACK SEAT,

ISN'T THERE, CHUCK-CHUCK?

- THAT'S TRULY SICKENING.

I'M PROUD OF YOU. - THANKS, DIETER.

YOU KNOW, I THINK MAYBE I WAS WRONG ABOUT YOU.

I THINK WORKIN' IN USED CARS HAS REALLY CHANGED YOU.

- PLEASE. YOU MAKE ME BLUSH.

NOW YOU GO TO LUNCH. [chuckling]

I'LL STAY HERE AND FINISH UP THIS BORING PAPERWORK.

- THANKS, BRO.

AND, UH, I'LL SEE YOU LATER, MRS. CARLTON.

- OH, CHUCK-CHUCK, DON'T I GET A KISS GOODBYE?

- OF COURSE.

- NO TONGUE THIS TIME?

- NOT TILL THE CHECK CLEARS.

- NEVER THOUGHT WE'D UNLOAD THAT JUNKER.

YOU EVEN STUCK THE OLD BROAD WITH AN EXTENDED WARRANTY.

GOD, I LOVE THIS BUSINESS.

CONGRATULATIONS.

TERRIFIC JOB, DIETER. - THANK YOU, SIR.

- YOU WANNA LEARN HOW TO SELL USED CARS?

YOU TAKE A LESSON FROM YOUR BROTHER, HERE.

[chuckling]

- WHAT'S HE TALKIN' ABOUT? I MADE THAT SALE.

WHY'S YOUR NAME ON HERE? WHERE'S MY NAME?

WHAT'S GOIN' ON HERE?

- THAT'S LESSON NUMBER ONE.

WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF USED CARS, CHUCK-CHUCK.

- OOH.

WELL, YOU WERE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, DOCTOR.

I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO EXHILARATED IN ALL MY BORN DAYS.

- [panting] I'M GLAD YOU'RE ENJOYIN' IT, LAVERNE.

- SURPRISED YOU, DIDN'T I? - YES, YOU DID.

YOU'RE A GOOD...RUNNER.

- THANK YOU, DOCTOR, AND YOU'RE A GOOD LOSER.

- LOSER?

LAVERNE, WERE YOU UNDER THE IMPRESSION

THAT THIS WAS SOME KINDA RACE?

- GRANTED, NOT MUCH OF ONE.

- WAIT A MINUTE, DIDN'T YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID BEFORE?

IT'S NOT ABOUT COMPETING AGAINST EACH OTHER.

I WAS COMPETING AGAINST MY PERSONAL BEST.

JUST LIKE YOU WERE COMPETING AGAINST YOUR PERSONAL BEST.

- OH.

I SEE NOW. - GOOD.

- WHAT WE HAVE HERE IS ME AND MY PERSONAL BEST

BEATIN' THE PANTS OFF OF YOU AND YOUR PERSONAL BEST.

- IT'S NOT ABOUT ANYBODY BEATING ANYBODY.

IT'S NOT ABOUT BEATING EACH OTHER.

BEATING HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.

- WHATEVER YOU SAY, DOCTOR.

- ALTHOUGH A GOOD BEATING MIGHT HELP HER ATTITUDE.

IT'LL SURE HELP MINE.

- CHARLEY, IF YOU DON'T STAND UP FOR YOURSELF, NO ONE ELSE WILL.

- WHAT ARE YOU DRIVIN' AT, HARRY?

- YOU LET DIETER TAKE CREDIT FOR THAT SALE

AND YOU DIDN'T SAY A WORD.

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE? YOU'RE A...

WIMP!

- A WIMP? - WIMP. WIMP. WIMP, WIMP, WIMP.

- WATCH IT, HARRY.

- YOU'RE WORSE THAN A WIMP.

YOU'RE A...

WEENIE.

- ALL RIGHT...

THAT'S IT. NOBODY CALLS ME A WEENIE.

NOW YOU MADE ME MAD.

- GOOD, GOOD. NOW YOU HOLD ON TO THAT MAD,

YOU GO BACK DOWN THERE, AND YOU STRAIGHTEN THINGS OUT.

AND DON'T FORGET WHAT I TOLD YOU.

- BE THE BEST "BUTT BOY" I CAN BE?

- I'M TELLING YOU...

MRS. CARLTON'S FAMILY SAYS SHE'S MENTALLY INCOMPETENT.

AND IF WE DON'T GIVE THEM A FULL REFUND ON THAT LEMON,

THEY'RE GETTING THE D.A. AFTER US.

- RIGHT. LIKE THE D.A.'S GOT NOTHIN' BETTER TO DO.

- THE D.A. IS HER SON, STUPID.

AND THE DEAL I'VE GOT WITH THEM,

IS THAT WHOEVER SOLD THAT CAR IS GONE.

I DON'T NEED ANY MORE LAWSUITS.

THAT'S WHY I GOT OUT OF PUPPY MILLS.

- BUT, JEROD, YOU CAN'T--

- DIETER, YOU ARE A SELFISH, TWO-FACED, LYING S.O.B.

OH, GOD. I'M GONNA MISS YOU.

NOW, GO ON. GET OUTTA HERE.

- MR. HANDLER, I NEED TO SPEAK TO YOU,

- YEAH, CHARLEY, I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE.

- YOU ARE? - YEAH...

THE ASHTRAYS ARE FILTHY.

- OH, WELL, UH, I DON'T DO ASHTRAYS ANYMORE,

I WANNA TALK TO YOU ABOUT MY BROTHER.

- I DON'T WANNA HEAR ABOUT YOUR BROTHER.

HE'S THROUGH HERE. HE'S HAD IT.

- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

- THAT CAR HE SOLD YESTERDAY... MRS. CARLTON IS WACKO.

THE WHOLE DEAL IS KAPUT.

- YOU'RE KIDDING. - HER FAMILY IS REALLY UPSET.

COURSE, HE TURNED HER UPSIDE DOWN AND SPANKED HER

PRETTY GOOD ON THAT DEAL.

- SHE ASKED HIM TO DO THAT TOO?

[door closing]

- CHARLEY, AM I GLAD TO SEE YOU.

TELL JEROD HOW YOU SOLD THE CAR TO MRS. CARLTON.

- WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT, DIETER?

- COME ON, STOP KIDDING AROUND. MY JOB'S AT STAKE.

TELL JEROD WHO REALLY MADE THE SALE.

- [chuckling] WELL, YOU DID, OF COURSE.

- OW.

CHARLEY, YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME. I'M YOUR BABY BROTHER.

- MR. HANDLER, LOOK AT THE TWO OF US, NOW...

I'M JUST AN ASHTRAY WIPER,

AND DIETER, HERE, HE'S THE SALESMAN OF THE FAMILY.

NOW AS MUCH AS I'D LIKE TO,

I JUST CAN'T TAKE CREDIT FOR SELLING THAT CAR.

- HOLD IT RIGHT THERE.

IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA STAND UP FOR YOURSELF, CHARLEY,

THEN I'M GONNA DO IT FOR YOU.

- WELL, HARRY, REALLY. IT'S OKAY.

- NO--NO--NO, IT'S NOT.

YOU FINALLY DID SOMETHING RIGHT,

I'M NOT GONNA LET THEM TAKE IT AWAY FROM YOU.

[mouthing "shut up"]

- NO, I'M NOT GONNA SHUT UP.

YEAH, EXCUSE ME HERE.

CHARLEY DIETZ SOLD THAT CAR YESTERDAY

AND NO AMOUNT OF LYING IS GONNA CHANGE THAT FACT.

- NOW WHO DO YOU BELIEVE?

- NEITHER ONE OF YOU. YOU'RE BOTH FIRED.

- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. WAIT, WAIT, WAIT A MINUTE.

THAT'S-THAT'S NOT FAIR.

- YEAH? WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?

- I'M DR. HARRY WESTON. - OH, A DOCTOR, HUH?

TALK TO ME, HARRY.

SO, UH, WHAT WOULD IT TAKE

TO PUT YOU BEHIND THE WHEEL OF THIS LITTLE BABY?

- I'M NOT INTERESTED IN BUYING A CAR.

- OKAY, HOW ABOUT A PUPPY?

- OKAY...

- I WON. I'M THE BEST. I'M THE BEST.

I BEAT HER. THEY CAN'T TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME.

- WHOA, WHOA, MAXINE, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

- LAVERNE. I BEAT LAVERNE.

[panting] - WHAT-WHAT. WAIT A MINUTE.

ARE YOU SURE IT WAS WORTH IT?

- OH, YEAH.

IT WAS WORTH EVERY STRAINED MUSCLE

AND PULLED TENDON IN MY BODY.

I'M THE BEST.

[knocking on window]

- [sighs]

WHAT A LOVELY EXPERIENCE THAT WAS.

- WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?

I JUST WHOOPED YOUR BUTT.

- DID YOU? I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE.

- OH, LIKE HELL YOU DIDN'T.

- YOU KNOW, YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT JOGGING, DOCTOR.

IT'S NOT ABOUT WINNING OR LOSING...

- YES, IT IS.

- DOCTOR, HAVE YOU FORGOT WHAT YOU TOLD ME?

- WHAT?

- I BELIEVE YOU HAVE LOST SIGHT OF WHAT IS IMPORTANT

IN THIS LITTLE UNDERTAKING:

PEACE...TRANQUILITY.

- ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE RIGHT. I'M SORRY, LAVERNE.

IT IS ABOUT US GETTING IN TOUCH WITH OUR INNER SELVES.

- OH, GOOD.

NOW THAT WE'VE HAD THIS LITTLE MEETING OF THE MINDS,

I'D JUST LIKE YOU TO KNOW I REALLY ENJOYED THAT.

WE OUGHT TO DO MORE THINGS TOGETHER.

- LIKE WHAT?

- I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE BOWLIN' OR SOMETHIN'.

YOU KNOW, WHATEVER YOU WANT.

- BOWLING WOULD BE FINE.

ONLY NO COMPETING.

WE JUST BOWL TO ACHIEVE OUR PERSONAL BEST.

- EXACTLY.

[sighs]

- HELLO. DON? MAXINE. HOW ARE YOU DOING?

LOOK, I NEED SOME BOWLING LESSONS, FAST.

- EARL? UH, LAVERNE TODD, LISTEN, I'M GONNA BE DOWN THERE

TO BOWL A FEW LINES WITH A FRIEND OF MINE.

COULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR?

YEAH, TAKE MY PICTURE DOWN FROM THE 300 CLUB,

AND TAKE MY TROPHIES OUT OF THE CASE.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO REASON.

[panting]

- ALL RIGHT, COME ON, LET'S GO, WE'LL GO.

OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, COME ON.

SOPHIA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

- I WAS TRYING TO REMEMBER IF I RANG THE BELL.

MAYBE THAT WAS YESTERDAY.

ANYWAY, I STOPPED IN TO SAY CIAO.

- WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

- I SOLVED MY PROBLEM. I'M NOT BORED ANYMORE.

I'M TAKING A TRIP TO SICILY.

- GOOD FOR YOU.

- PLENTY TO DO BACK THERE.

GET UP IN THE MORNING, KNIT, KNIT, KNIT, BOCCE, BOCCE, BOCCE.

KILL THE MAN WHO KILLED YOUR BROTHER.

GOD, I MISS HOME.

- CHARLEY.

DON'T TELL ME. YOU GOT YOUR JOB BACK.

- YEP, HARRY, I SURE DID.

- SEE? YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS

WHEN YOU DON'T LET PEOPLE PUSH YOU AROUND

AND YOU STAND UP FOR YOURSELF?

- IT WASN'T THAT, HARRY.

I JUST SHOWED UP. THEY NEVER KNEW I WAS GONE.

- WELL, THAT'S A-ANOTHER WAY.

THE IMPORTANT THING IS YOU GOT YOUR JOB BACK.

- NO. THE IMPORTANT THING, HARRY, IS DIETER LOST HIS.

I KNOW I SHOULD FEEL BAD THAT DIETER GOT FIRED, BUT I DON'T.

I FEEL GOOD. I FEEL REALLY GOOD.

THAT'S WRONG, ISN'T IT, HARRY?

- IN YOUR FAMILY... NAH.

[doorbell ringing] OKAY.

OH, DIETER. - HEY, DOC.

- WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' HERE?

- CHARLEY, I WAS HOPING YOU COULD ARRANGE SOMETHING FOR ME

ON YOUR CRUISE SHIP.

- [chuckling] GROVELING FOR A JOB, EH?

[laughing]

I GUESS THE SHOE'S ON MY FOOT NOW.

WELL, THERE MIGHT BE AN OPENING FOR A PUCK BOY.

- OH, NO, I DON'T NEED A JOB.

I NEED AN OUTSIDE CABIN.

I'VE GOT A FIRST-CLASS ROUND TRIP TICKET ON YOUR SHIP.

I'M GOING TO THE BAHAMAS.

- FIRST CLASS TO THE BAHAMAS?

HOW CAN YOU AFFORD THAT?

- GREAT NEWS.

JEROD DECIDED THAT ANYBODY WHO'D SCREW OVER THEIR BROTHER

THE WAY I DID DESERVES TO BE VICE PRESIDENT OF SALES.

IF IT HADN'T BEEN FOR MY BIG BROTHER,

THIS NEVER WOULD'VE HAPPENED.

AREN'T YOU HAPPY FOR ME?

- NO, I'M NOT HAPPY FOR YOU!

- CHARLEY, COME ON. LET--LET IT GO.

EVERYTHING WORKED OUT.

- OKAY, OKAY.

YOU'RE RIGHT, HARRY.

I'M HAPPY FOR YOU, DIETER.

- NO HARD FEELINGS?

- NO HARD FEELINGS.

- I FEEL BETTER.

SEE YA ON BOARD.

BYE, DOC. - BYE-BYE.

YEAH.

COME ON, CHARLEY, DON'T YOU FEEL BETTER?

NOW YOU'VE GOT YOUR DIGNITY, AND YOU'VE GOT

A BETTER RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR BROTHER.

- I GOT MORE THAN THAT, HARRY.

I GOT HIS TICKET.

HE'S NOT GOING TO THE BAHAMAS.

HE'S GOING TO HAITI.

HE'S NOT COMIN' BACK.

- BUENOS DIAS, AMIGOS Y AMIGAS

ME LLAMO DIETER DIETZ DE "USUSED AUTO DELIGHTS."

SITUADO CERCA DEL I-95 EN EL USED AUTO EXIT.

VENGANSE PARA VERME CON MI PERRO, SPIKE.

- VEN ACA, SPIKE.

VENGA, VENGA, RAPIDO.

- ESTAMOS ABIERTOS HASTA MEDIANOCHE Y SE HABLA INGLES.

A DONDE FUE SPIKE?

FUE POR LA BIBLIOTECA, [chuckling]

PARA RENTAR UNA BIBLIO.

QUE LASTIMA QUE...

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