Original subtitles

- LAVERNE, THE ANSWER IS NO.

- WELL, SOMEONE'S GOTTA CUT YOUR HAIR.

YOU BROKE THE LAST THREE APPOINTMENTS

I MADE FOR YOU AT THE "HAR" BARN.

- I DON'T WANT TO GO TO THE "HAR" BARN.

I'VE BEEN GOING TO DUKE'S BARBER SHOP

FOR 22 YEARS, AND WHEN DUKE IS BACK

FROM HIS CRUISE, I'LL GET A TRIM.

- WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? IT'S JUST A HAIRCUT.

I HAVE BEEN TRIMMIN' MY NEPHEWS FOR YEARS.

I'VE GOT HAIR IN MY BLOOD.

- LAVERNE, LOOK, GETTING A HAIRCUT

IS--IS MORE THAN JUST GETTING YOUR HAIR CUT.

IT'S TALKING POLITICS AND SPORTS

AND--AND HEARING DUKE SAY, "HOW YOU DOING, TIGER?"

WITH A LITTLE HINT OF BOURBON ON HIS BREATH.

- WELL, THAT WOULD EXPLAIN THE CROOKED SIDEBURNS.

NOW, SIT YOUR SKINNY BUTT DOWN, TIGER.

- LAVERNE, I DO NOT NEED A HAIRCUT.

- YES, YOU DO. I'M THE ONE WHAT HAS

TO LOOK AT IT ALL DAY LONG.

- WILL YOU STOP BOSSING ME AROUND?

YOU SOUND LIKE MY MOTHER.

- YOU SOUND LIKE MY MOTHER.

IF I WANTED TO HEAR THIS KIND OF BICKERING,

I COULD'VE STAYED HOME TODAY.

- AH, HOW ARE THINGS GOING WITH YOUR MOM?

- ARE YOU KIDDING?

EVER SINCE I PICKED HER UP FROM THE AIRPORT,

IT'S BEEN THE SAME OLD STORY.

I SAY, "RIGHT." SHE SAYS, "LEFT."

I SAY, "UP." SHE SAYS, "DOWN."

I SAY, "BLACK."

SHE SAYS, "AFRICAN-AMERICAN."

- COME ON. IT CAN'T BE THAT BAD.

- WANNA BET?

MY MOTHER IS THE ONLY PERSON IN THE WORLD

WHO CAN WALK INTO A ROOM AND START A CONVERSATION

BY SAYING, "AND ANOTHER THING."

- DOCTOR, DO YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HELP

GET YOU OUT OF THIS FOUL MOOD?

A NICE TRIM.

- LIFE GOES ON

AND SO DO WE

JUST HOW WE DO IT IS NO MYSTERY

ONE BY ONE, WE FILL THE DAYS

WE FIND A THOUSAND DIFFERENT WAYS

SOMETIMES THE ANSWER CAN BE HARD TO FIND

THAT'S SOMETHING I WILL NEVER BE

I'M ALWAYS HERE

FOR ANYTHING YOU NEED

RAIN OR SHINE, I'LL BE THE ONE

TO SHARE IT ALL AS LIFE GOES ON

WE SHARE IT ALL

AS LIFE GOES ON

- OH, IF YOU COULD JUST HAVE A SEAT,

I'LL BE RIGHT WITH YOU IN TWO SHAKES.

- AND ANOTHER THING...

WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS WANT YOU TO SIT

WHEN YOU WANT TO STAND?

- WHY, YOU MUST BE DR. DOUGLAS' MOTHER.

- HOW DID YOU KNOW? - IT'S A GIFT.

GLAD TO MEET YOU. I'M LAVERNE TODD.

- HI, MA. - NOW, YOU DIDN'T TELL ME

I HAD TO WALK THREE BLOCKS FROM THE BUS STOP.

YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THAT.

- MAMA, MAYBE WE SHOULD GO INTO THE LOUNGE.

- WELL, FINE. IF YOU ASHAMED FOR FOLKS TO SEE ME.

- SHE SEEMS NICE.

- EIGHT YEARS OF MEDICAL SCHOOL,

AND THIS IS THE PLUM YOU LANDED?

- NO, MA, THIS IS THE PLUM I CHOSE.

- AND STAND UP STRAIGHT.

YOU KNOW, YOU GOT TO PAY MORE ATTENTION TO YOURSELF.

- YES, MA'AM.

- AND WHERE'S YOUR WHITE COAT?

DON'T YOU WANT TO AT LEAST LOOK LIKE A DOCTOR?

- AH, MAXINE, HERE'S THAT FILE YOU WANTED. OH! EXCUSE ME.

I'LL COME BACK LATER. - NO! STAY.

I'D LIKE FOR YOU TO MEET MY MOTHER.

THIS IS JOSEPHINE DOUGLAS.

- OH, HI. MY PLEASURE.

- AND THIS IS DR. HARRY WESTON.

- NOW, YOU SEE? THIS LOOKS LIKE A DOCTOR.

- WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

- MAMA, WHEN DID YOU START WEARING GLASSES?

- I GOT THEM AT THE DRUGSTORE

WHEN I STARTED GETTING HEADACHES.

- YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE HAVING HEADACHES.

- YOU NEVER ASKED. - WELL, I'M ASKING NOW.

- WELL, NOW IT'S TOO LATE. I ALREADY TOLD YOU.

- OH, MAXINE TELLS ME THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO MIAMI.

HO--HOW DO YOU LIKE IT?

- LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT MIAMI.

THE SIDEWALKS HERE ARE HARDER THAN THEY ARE IN NEW YORK.

- [stammering]

WHAT?

- AND ANOTHER THING... ABOUT MIA--

- MAMA, MAYBE WE SHOULD GET GOING TO THE RESTAURANT.

I'M TAKING YOU TO THE DIAMOND GRILL.

- HMM. IS THEIR KITCHEN CLEAN? - I GUESS. HOW SHOULD I KNOW?

- NOW, YOU SEE?

I ASK HER A SIMPLE QUESTION, AND SHE SNAPPED AT ME.

- OH, COME ON, YOU TWO ARE GONNA HAVE A GREAT LUNCH.

- WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN US, HARRY?

- NO, NO, NO, I--

WELL, I-I-I HAVE TO GET A HAIRCUT.

- DID I HEAR SOMEONE SAY "HAIRCUT"?

- OH, ANITA, IT'S SO SWEET OF YOU TO BRING

ALL YOUR OLD BABY THINGS BY FOR ME.

- HEY, AFTER TEN KIDS, IT'S GREAT TO HAVE MY CLOSETS BACK.

- I THOUGHT YOU HAD THREE KIDS.

- REALLY? IT FEELS LIKE 10.

- OH, YOU!

OH, LOOK! THIS IS ADORABLE.

- YEAH, YOU FIRST-TIMERS-- EVERYTHING'S ADORABLE.

SO YOU'RE PRETTY EXCITED, AREN'T YOU?

- OH, YEAH. - YEAH.

- BOOTIES...BLANKIES...

CIGGIES?

- OH, THOSE ARE MINE.

OF COURSE, I DIDN'T SMOKE WHEN I WAS PREGNANT.

AND I DON'T SMOKE IN FRONT OF THE KIDS,

JUST AROUND MY HUSBAND.

- DOESN'T HE MIND? - OH, HE HATES IT.

[laughs]

- OH, LOOK HOW SWEET. [melody playing]

- TWINKLE, TWINKLE...

- CAROL, ONE MORE TWINKLE,

AND MOMMY WILL HAVE TO SMOKE.

- ANITA, I'M SO GLAD YOU CAME BY.

I'M REALLY NERVOUS.

I'M WAITING FOR THE RESULTS OF MY AMNIOCENTESIS.

- YOU STILL DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SEX?

- ABSOLUTELY NOT.

- YOU MEAN EVER? CAROL.

- ANITA, THE MOMENT OF REVELATION

IS SOMETHING I'VE ALWAYS DREAMED OF.

I WANT TO HAVE THE SAME EXPERIENCE

THAT--THAT WOMEN THROUGH THE AGES HAVE KNOWN.

IT'S WHAT BONDS US TOGETHER LIKE--

LIKE SPIRITUAL SISTERS.

- THAT AND CELLULITE.

- NO, THIS MAY BE

A ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME MOMENT FOR ME.

I WANT A MAGICAL SURPRISE AT THE END OF MY JOURNEY.

- OH, YOU'LL GET ONE. IT'S CALLED A PLACENTA.

- YOU SENT BACK THE SOUP. YOU SENT BACK THE SALAD.

BUT THE LAST STRAW WAS WHEN YOU SENT BACK THE STEAK.

- IT WAS TOO RARE.

- IT WAS MINE!

- NEVER DID KNOW HOW TO ORDER.

- UH, LET'S SEE IF WE CAN FIGURE OUT

WHAT'S CAUSING THESE HEADACHES.

- OKAY. LOOK.

TIME'S UP.

- MAMA.

- MAXINE, I DON'T NEED YOU LOOKING IN MY EYES.

- OKAY. FINE. JUST STAND RIGHT HERE.

NOW, READ THE THIRD LINE.

- I CAN'T. YOU'RE HOLDING IT TOO CLOSE.

- OF THE CHART.

- WHY CAN'T I READ THE FOURTH LINE?

- FINE. FINE. READ ANY LINE.

- R-E-S-P-E-C-T...

SOMETHING I'M NOT GETTING.

- OKAY. FINE.

YOU JUST... STAY RIGHT HERE.

- AND ANOTHER THING...

- HARRY, I'M GONNA NEED SOME TIME OFF.

- RIGHT. HOW LONG DO YOU NEED?

- IT DEPENDS--HOW LONG DO YOU GET FOR KILLING YOUR MOTHER?

- THE EXAM DIDN'T GO WELL?

- WHAT EXAM?

HARRY, I'M WORRIED ABOUT THESE HEADACHES.

IF I COULD GET HER TO AN OPHTHALMOLOGIST,

WE COULD RULE OUT HYPERTENSION, DIABETES...

A TUMOR.

- SO I'LL CALL DR. BRESLIN. - FORGET IT.

THERE'S NO WAY SHE'LL GO FOR THAT.

- HOLD IT. HOLD IT. OH, OH...

WHAT IF SHE DOESN'T KNOW SHE'S BEING EXAMINED?

- WHAT? - JUST FOLLOW MY LEAD.

- WHAT?

- WELL, NO. UH, NOTHING.

IT'S JUST THAT THOSE GLASSES LOOK A LITTLE SMALL

FOR YOUR FACE.

- NOBODY EVER TOLD ME THAT BEFORE.

- MAXINE, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

- OH.

I THINK THEY'RE PERFECT.

- THEN THEY MUST BE TOO SMALL.

- YOU KNOW, DR. BRESLIN HAS A LOT OF GREAT FRAMES.

- OH, HARRY, MAMA DOESN'T NEED DESIGNER FRAMES.

- AND THIS IS THE WOMAN WHO SENT ME CULOTTES FROM K-MART.

- MA, DR. BRESLIN'S STUFF IS WAY TOO FANCY FOR YOU.

YOU DON'T WANT TO GO THERE.

- GET ME AN APPOINTMENT WITH THAT GUY.

- OKAY. - EXCUSE ME, DR. DOUGLAS.

YOU WANTED THESE X-RAYS AS SOON AS THEY CAME IN.

- THANK YOU, LAVERNE.

- OH, MISS DOUGLAS, WHAT BEAUTIFUL GLASSES.

- DR. WESTON SAID THEY WERE TOO SMALL.

- WELL, THE PROBLEM'S NOT THE GLASSES.

IT'S THE HAIR, BUT I CAN FIX THAT.

- LAVERNE, WE THOUGHT MAMA WOULD FIND

SOME NICER FRAMES IF SHE WENT TO DR. BRESLIN...

THE EYE DOCTOR?

- WELL, SHE'S NOT GONNA FIND

ANY PRETTIER FRAMES THAN WHAT SHE'S GOT ON.

- LAVERNE... - BUT WHAT I WAS THINKING

IS WHY CLUTTER UP THAT FACE WITH GLASSES.

WHY NOT GET CONTACTS?

- OH. UH-HUH.

NOW, WHY DIDN'T YOU THINK OF THAT?

- OH, I'M JUST A DOCTOR.

SHE'S A BARBER.

- DOCTOR, CASEY MACAFEE JUST PULLED IN THE PARKIN' LOT.

ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT ME TO TAKE A LITTLE OF THE TOP?

- YES, YES, GO SHOW HER IN.

- HI. - OH!

CASEY, YOU STARTLED ME.

- HARRY, WE HAVE TO TALK.

I'M TIRED OF PLAYING TAG WITH YOUR ANSWERING MACHINE,

SO I THOUGHT IT'D BE MORE INTERESTING

TO COME OVER HERE AND TAG YOU IN PERSON.

YOU'RE IT. [giggles]

- I AM.

WELL, GOOD. GOOD, GOOD, GOOD.

YOU KNOW, THE CLOSEST I GET TO CONNECTING WITH YOU IS BY...

PUSHING MY "PLAY" BUTTON.

- OOH. [giggles] THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN.

BE EVEN MORE FUN IF WE COULD GO OUT ON AN ACTUAL DATE.

- LAVERNE, WOULD YOU BRING MY APPOINTMENT BOOK IN, PLEASE?

WE'RE GONNA SETTLE THIS RIGHT NOW.

- OH, GOOD IDEA. - OKAY.

AH, DO I HAVE ANYTHING FOR TOMORROW NIGHT?

- FREE AS A BIRD, DOCTOR.

- OH, I'M SORRY. I HAVE A SEMINAR.

- OH, IT'S JUST AS WELL, 'CAUSE IT'S SUPPOSED TO RAIN,

AND YOU KNOW HOW YOUR ARTHRITIS ACTS UP.

- [stammering] A LITTLE...

A LITTLE TENNIS ELBOW.

- YOU PLAYIN' TENNIS AGAIN? - THAT--THANK YOU, NURSE.

THAT WILL BE ALL.

- HOW ABOUT THURSDAY? - UH, NO, I HAVE A FUNDRAISER.

FRIDAY. - MM, NO. I CAN'T.

- SATURDAY. - HARRY, IT JUST LOOKS

LIKE WE'RE NEVER GONNA GET TOGETHER.

- I KNOW. IT KIND OF LOOKS HOPELESS.

- TELL YOU WHAT-- HOW ABOUT TOMORROW NIGHT?

- I-I THOUGHT YOU WERE BUSY.

- I JUST HAD A CANCELLATION.

- OKAY, ALL RIGHT.

[chuckling]

YOU KNOW, CASEY, I THINK YOU AND I JUST MADE--

- OH, AH, AH. DON'T SAY IT. IT'S BAD LUCK.

AND, UH...

YOU DO WANT TO GET LUCKY, DON'T YOU?

- MY MOTHER NEVER LISTENS TO ME.

SHE IS THE MOST STUBBORN PERSON IN THE WORLD.

- OH, YOU DON'T KNOW STUBBORN.

MY GRANDMA WAS SO STUBBORN, SHE REFUSED TO GROW.

- WHAT?

- STAYED THIS SIZE HER WHOLE LIFE--

DARLIN' LITTLE WOMAN.

- LAVERNE, A PERSON CANNOT WILL THEMSELVES TO REMAIN SMALL.

IT'S LIKE SAYING YOU CAN WILL YOURSELF TO FLY.

- THAT'D BE MY COUSIN VERNON.

- I'M BACK.

- OH, MA, HOW DID IT GO WITH DR. BRESLIN?

- GREAT. JUST GREAT. - WHAT'D HE SAY?

- I'LL TELL YOU WHAT HE SAID.

HE SAID I GOT GLAUCOMA. I'M GONNA GO BLIND.

- MA, I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE, WITH DR. BRESLIN.

I'VE GOT SOME GOOD NEWS.

- BETTER THAN GOING BLIND?

- MA, YOUR DISEASE IS IN ITS EARLY STAGES.

A SIMPLE PROCEDURE WILL TAKE CARE OF IT.

- WHICH IS DOCTOR-TALK FOR WHAT?

- FOR AN OPERATION. BUT IT'S VERY ROUTINE.

THE EARLY STAGES OF GLAUCOMA ARE NOT THAT SERIOUS.

- IF IT'S NOT THAT SERIOUS, I DON'T NEED AN OPERATION.

- MA, BELIEVE ME, THE BENEFIT FAR OUTWEIGHS THE RISK.

- THIS IS GETTING BETTER ALL THE TIME.

I COME OUT HERE FOR A LITTLE VISIT.

THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW, I GOT A DISEASE,

AND THEY'RE GONNA CUT MY EYES OUT.

- MAMA, NOBODY'S GONNA CUT YOUR EYES OUT.

- YOU GOT THAT RIGHT,

'CAUSE I'M GOING BACK TO NEW YORK.

- OH, NOW, THAT'S JUST STUPID. - ARE YOU CALLING ME STUPID?

- I'M SAYING YOUR BEHAVIOR IS CHILDLIKE AND FOOLISH AND...

YEAH, I'M GONNA STICK WITH STUPID.

- LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, YOUNG LADY.

I AM NOT HAVING AN OPERATION. I AM GOING BACK TO NEW YORK.

AND ANOTHER THING...

THESE ARE MY EYES, AND YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF ME.

- WELL, LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE THIS OPERATION,

IF I HAVE TO HOG-TIE YOU

AND HIT YOU IN THE HEAD WITH A HAMMER!

- NOTHIN' TO WORRY ABOUT. THAT WASN'T A PATIENT.

THAT WAS JUST HER MOTHER.

- HI, ANITA.

- OH, YOU...

ANOTHER REASON NOT TO HAVE KIDS.

- HEY, YOU JUST DON'T COME IN HERE AND TAKE THINGS OUT.

THAT'S MY JOB.

- I BROUGHT THIS BOX OF BABY THINGS FOR CAROL YESTERDAY.

I'M TAKING THEM BACK. - HOW COME?

- ANOTHER ONE OF FATE'S CRUEL, LITTLE JOKES--

I'M PREGNANT AGAIN.

MY HUSBAND WILL DO ANYTHING TO GET ME TO STOP SMOKING.

[phone ringing]

- I GOT IT.

HELLO?

NO, CAROL'S NOT HERE.

OH, THE SUNSET LAB.

WE'VE BEEN WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU GUYS.

THE BABY'S COMPLETELY NORMAL. THAT'S GREAT.

SEX?

MAYBE, WHAT DO YOU LOOK LIKE?

OH, OH, YOU MEAN THE--THE SEX OF THE BABY.

- CHARLEY, CAROL DOESN'T WANNA KNOW.

- WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? SO WHAT IS IT--A BOY OR A GIRL?

REALLY? COOL. THANK YOU.

- CHARLEY, YOU ARE SCUM.

SO WHAT IS IT?

- HI.

- OH, HI, CAROL, SUNSET LAB JUST CALLED.

- YOU SPOKE TO THE LAB? WHAT DID THEY SAY?

- YOU'RE FINE. THE BABY'S FINE.

AND IT'S--OH, WAIT. YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW.

- KNOW WHAT?

- PEA BRAIN FOUND OUT THE SEX OF THE BABY.

- CHARLEY, HOW COULD YOU?

- I TOLD HIM YOU DIDN'T WANT TO KNOW.

- HEY, CALM DOWN. I CAN KEEP A SECRET.

I'VE BEEN KEEPING ONE FOR TWO YEARS.

YOU KNOW THAT HIT-AND-RUN DRIVER THAT TOTALED YOUR CAR?

THAT WAS ME.

- CHARLEY, YOU'RE MISSING THE POINT.

I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE FIRST TO KNOW,

THEN DADDY, THEN THE REST OF THE FAMILY.

YOU WERE, LIKE, 126 ON THE LIST.

- YOU MOVED UP ONE.

- CAROL, YOU'RE MAKING, LIKE, WAY TOO BIG A DEAL OUT OF THIS.

- THAT'S BECAUSE IT IS A BIG DEAL, CHARLEY.

YOU HAVE DRILLED A PEEPHOLE INTO MY SOUL,

YOU--YOU--YOU HAVE LEERED

AT THE MOST CHERISHED PART OF MY FUTURE.

I'VE NEVER FELT SO VIOLATED.

- BOY, IF I HAD A NICKEL FOR EVERY WOMAN

THAT SAID THAT TO ME...

[sighs]

- GOOD NIGHT, MAXINE.

- OH, YEAH.

NIGHT, HARRY.

- I THINK I SHOULD GO IN THERE AND TALK TO HER.

- OH, DOCTOR, I THINK THIS IS SOMETHIN'

WE SHOULD LET HER WORK OUT FOR HERSELF.

AND I DON'T MEAN TO BE IMPOLITE

BUT IT'S SORT OF, LIKE, NONE OF OUR BUSINESS.

- I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.

NIGHT. - GOOD NIGHT.

DOCTOR, WE'VE GOT TO TALK, AND I MEAN RIGHT NOW.

- IF THIS IS ABOUT TEENY-TINY GRANDMA,

I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT.

- DOCTOR, I KNOW WE HAVE A PROFESSIONAL RELATIONSHIP,

BUT I LIKE TO THINK OF YOU AS A FRIEND.

- IS THIS ABOUT MY MOTHER, LAVERNE?

- YES, IT IS. AND I HATE WHAT'S HAPPENIN' BETWEEN YOU TWO.

- LOOK, I DID EVERYTHING I COULD.

I REASONED WITH HER.

I LAID OUT THE FACTS JUST LIKE I WOULD WITH ANY OTHER PATIENT.

- DOCTOR, SHE'S BEEN YOUR PATIENT FOR ONE DAY.

SHE'S BEEN YOUR MOTHER YOUR WHOLE LIFE.

DID YOU ALSO TELL HER YOU LOVE HER?

- OF COURSE I DID.

I SAID, "YOU'RE GONNA HAVE THIS OPERATION,

IF I HAVE TO SMACK YOU IN THE HEAD WITH A HAMMER."

NOW, IF SHE CAN'T SEE THE LOVE IN THAT...

- HALLMARK HAS SOME CARDS

YOU MIGHT WANNA TAKE A LOOK AT.

- CHARLEY...

CAROL TOLD ME ABOUT YOUR CONVERSATION

WITH THE LAB. - [chuckling] YEAH.

OW!

IT WASN'T MY FAULT.

- OH. YOU.

- UH, CAROL, I WANT-- - HI, DADDY.

HOW WAS YOUR DAY? - JUST GREAT, DEAR.

CASEY MACAFEE AND I FINALLY MADE A DATE.

- OH, THAT'S WONDERFUL.

- REMEMBER, HARRY, ON A FIRST DATE,

YOU GOTTA BE SUAVE.

WHEN THE BILL COMES, PAY AT LEAST HALF.

YOU'LL GET IT BACK LATER.

[phone ringing]

- HELLO?

YEAH, THIS IS CAROL WESTON.

MY AMNIOCENTESIS RESULTS? BUT YOU ALREADY CALLED.

A MISTAKE?

THEY GOT THE FILES MIXED UP.

OH, THE BABY'S HEALTHY. THAT'S WONDERFUL.

NO, I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SEX.

WELL, THANK YOU FOR CALLING. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

THEY HAVE A PATIENT NAMED DIANE WESTON.

WHAT A RELIEF!

NOW NOBODY KNOWS THE SEX OF THE BABY.

- AH, SWEETHEART, THAT'S TERRIFIC.

- WELL, ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL.

- CHARLEY, AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED,

YOU ARE STILL A LOW-LIFE, INSENSITIVE SLUG

AND AN ABOMINATION OF ALL THAT IS DECENT.

- HEY, WE'RE TALKING AGAIN.

LOOKS LIKE THINGS WORKED OUT.

- NO THANKS TO YOU. - YEAH.

THANKS TO LINDA.

- WHAT?

- THAT WAS A FRIEND OF MINE ON THE PHONE.

I FELT BAD ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN CAROL AND ME,

SO I HAD MY FRIEND LINDA MAKE THAT CALL.

- CHARLEY, THAT WAS VERY THOUGHTFUL OF YOU.

I KNOW IT'S TOUGH TO ADMIT YOU'RE WRONG.

- NOT AS TOUGH AS TEACHING A STRIPPER

TO SAY "AMNIOCENTESIS."

[laughter on television]

- AND ANOTHER THING...

YOU GOT SNOW ON CHANNEL 11.

- I THOUGHT YOU'D BE GONE BY NOW.

- SHH, LUCY'S IN TROUBLE.

[laughs] SHE LOST HER WEDDING RING,

AND I THINK RICKY'S ABOUT TO FIND IT IN HIS MEATBALL.

[laughing]

[TV turns off] - MA, I'VE BEEN DOING

A LOT OF THINKING.

- NOW, IF YOU CAME IN HERE TO FIGHT,

I'M NOT INTERESTED.

- NEITHER AM I. I'M TIRED OF IT.

- AND IF YOU CAME IN HERE TO TALK ME INTO THAT OPERATION,

I'M NOT INTERESTED.

- MAMA, I CAN UNDERSTAND IF YOU'RE SCARED.

- SCARED? WHO'S SCARED? I'M NOT SCARED.

- THERE'S NO SHAME IN IT.

- LOOK, I WASN'T SCARED WHEN YOUR FATHER DIED.

I WASN'T EVEN SCARED WHEN YOU ALMOST DIED.

- WHEN DID I ALMOST DIE?

- WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO KNOW?

I HAVE NEVER BEEN SCARED IN MY WHOLE LIFE,

SO DON'T GO TRYING TO TELL ME-- - OH, MAMA, HUSH.

NOW, I'M GONNA DO SOMETHING TO YOU

I SHOULD'VE DONE A LONG TIME AGO.

- YOU BETTER WATCH YOUR STEP, MAXINE.

WHAT YOU DOING?

- IT'S CALLED A HUG.

I KNOW WE HAVEN'T DONE A LOT OF THIS.

MAMA, YOU AND I HAVE GOT TO START COMMUNICATING.

- YOU'RE RIGHT, BABY.

- NOW, I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT...

THROUGH ALL MY LIFE AND EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER DONE,

YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN THE...

BIGGEST PAIN IN THE BUTT I HAVE EVER KNOWN.

- YOU JUST SAYING THAT TO MAKE ME FEEL GOOD.

- NO, THAT'S STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART.

- WELL, THE BEAUTY OF IT IS I FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT YOU.

- MAMA, I NEED YOU TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.

- I KNOW.

IF I HAVE THIS OPERATION,

YOU GONNA BE IN THE HOSPITAL WITH ME?

- I'LL BE RIGHT THERE, HOLDING YOUR HAND.

[sighs]

- AND ANOTHER THING...

- DR. DOUGLAS, I GOTTA GET YOU TO SIGN THESE.

DR. DOUGLAS?

POOR THING,

HER MAMA WORE HER OUT.

- TOUCH ME, AND YOU DIE.

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0