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1
00:00:00,352 --> 00:00:03,843
- HEY, DREYF.
COME ON. HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY.
2
00:00:04,305 --> 00:00:06,605
WISH ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
COME ON.
3
00:00:06,641 --> 00:00:09,208
TELL ME, TELL ME, TELL ME.
DO I LOOK A YEAR OLDER?
4
00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:13,346
THAT A YES OR A NO?
5
00:00:13,848 --> 00:00:15,581
YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW,
IN DOGGIE YEARS,
6
00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:18,144
I'M...WELL, I'M...
7
00:00:19,754 --> 00:00:20,920
MOSES.
8
00:00:24,158 --> 00:00:26,516
COME ON. COME ON.
WE'LL GO GET SOME BREAKFAST.
9
00:00:27,058 --> 00:00:29,462
- NO, HE DOESN'T
SUSPECT A THING.
10
00:00:29,497 --> 00:00:32,183
NOW, DON'T BE LATE
OR YOU'LL SPOIL THE SURPRISE.
11
00:00:32,433 --> 00:00:34,527
RIGHT. TONIGHT.
8:00 SHARP.
12
00:00:35,358 --> 00:00:37,765
PRESENTS?
I DON'T KNOW.
13
00:00:38,100 --> 00:00:39,600
FOR A GUY HIS AGE
YOU CAN'T GO WRONG
14
00:00:39,635 --> 00:00:41,568
WITH PAJAMAS.
[laughing]
15
00:00:41,604 --> 00:00:43,137
YEAH, I'LL SEE YOU THEN.
16
00:00:43,172 --> 00:00:45,120
- COME HERE, COME HERE.
COME HERE.
17
00:00:45,870 --> 00:00:48,347
SHH. COME HERE.
DID YOU HEAR THAT?
18
00:00:48,648 --> 00:00:50,815
THERE'S A SURPRISE
PARTY FOR ME.
19
00:00:50,850 --> 00:00:53,571
THEY DON'T KNOW THAT I KNOW,
BUT I DO KNOW.
20
00:00:53,898 --> 00:00:56,399
THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT.
[laughing]
21
00:00:59,871 --> 00:01:03,172
-
LIFE GOES ON,
AND SO DO WE
22
00:01:03,207 --> 00:01:07,043
JUST HOW WE DO IT
IS NO MYSTERY
23
00:01:07,078 --> 00:01:11,547
ONE BY ONE
WE FILL THE DAYS
24
00:01:11,582 --> 00:01:15,251
WE FIND A THOUSAND
DIFFERENT WAYS
25
00:01:15,286 --> 00:01:18,921
SOMETIMES THE ANSWER
CAN BE HARD TO FIND
26
00:01:18,957 --> 00:01:21,924
THAT'S SOMETHING
I WILL NEVER BE
27
00:01:21,960 --> 00:01:24,961
I'M ALWAYS HERE
28
00:01:24,996 --> 00:01:31,167
FOR ANYTHING YOU NEED
29
00:01:31,202 --> 00:01:34,503
RAIN OR SHINE,
I'LL BE THE ONE
30
00:01:34,539 --> 00:01:38,941
TO SHARE IT ALL
AS LIFE GOES ON
31
00:01:38,977 --> 00:01:41,644
WE SHARE IT ALL
32
00:01:41,679 --> 00:01:46,349
AS LIFE GOES ON
33
00:02:01,538 --> 00:02:04,072
- UH! A PARTY?
34
00:02:04,108 --> 00:02:07,034
GOD, I AM SO SURPRISED!
35
00:02:08,652 --> 00:02:10,537
YOU'RE HERE TOO!
HI!
36
00:02:11,886 --> 00:02:13,415
WELL, I FEEL PRETTY GOOD.
37
00:02:13,450 --> 00:02:15,450
I CANNOT--
- WHAT ARE YOU MUMBLING ABOUT?
38
00:02:15,486 --> 00:02:17,185
- NOTHING, LAVERNE.
NOTHING.
39
00:02:17,221 --> 00:02:20,155
- DOCTOR, I GOT A DILEMMA.
IT'S ABOUT TONIGHT.
40
00:02:21,437 --> 00:02:23,258
- OH, YEAH. TONIGHT?
41
00:02:23,293 --> 00:02:24,559
- YEAH,
I'M GOIN' TO THE MOVIES
42
00:02:24,595 --> 00:02:25,894
WITH MY GIRLFRIEND
RIGETTA
43
00:02:25,929 --> 00:02:28,296
AND WE ARE TORN
BETWEEN OLD YELLER AND DRACULA.
44
00:02:28,332 --> 00:02:29,831
WHAT DO YOU THINK
WE OUGHT TO SEE?
45
00:02:30,288 --> 00:02:31,933
- WELL, OLD YELLER'S
A CLASSIC.
46
00:02:31,969 --> 00:02:33,502
I'D GO THERE.
- OKAY, IT'S SETTLED.
47
00:02:33,537 --> 00:02:35,261
WE'RE A-GOIN' TO DRACULA.
48
00:02:36,149 --> 00:02:38,039
- ALL RIGHT.
WELL, I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT.
49
00:02:38,075 --> 00:02:39,741
AND I WANT A FULL REPORT
ON MONDAY.
50
00:02:39,777 --> 00:02:41,643
NOW, WHAT HAVE WE GOT
FOR TODAY?
51
00:02:41,678 --> 00:02:43,812
- LET'S SEE. YOUR FIRST
APPOINTMENT'S AT 9:00--
52
00:02:45,516 --> 00:02:48,917
OH, MY LORD.
TODAY'S YOUR BIRTHDAY.
53
00:02:48,952 --> 00:02:50,452
I PLUM FORGOT.
54
00:02:50,487 --> 00:02:52,254
- OH, IT'S
NO BIG DEAL, LAVERNE.
55
00:02:52,289 --> 00:02:54,256
I'M SURE EVERYBODY ELSE
HAS FORGOTTEN TOO.
56
00:02:54,291 --> 00:02:56,845
- HOW OLD ARE YOU NOW
ANYWAY? ABOUT 80?
57
00:02:58,383 --> 00:02:59,736
- 59.
58
00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:03,064
- LET'S SEE.
28 YEARS OF PRACTICE.
59
00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:06,339
15 PATIENTS A DAY
FIVE DAYS A WEEK.
60
00:03:07,284 --> 00:03:08,840
CARRY THE OUT.
61
00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:13,041
YOU'VE SEEN
105,000 PATIENTS.
62
00:03:13,462 --> 00:03:15,477
- AND THEY'VE ALL BEEN GREAT.
63
00:03:15,512 --> 00:03:16,912
- ALL OF THEM?
64
00:03:16,947 --> 00:03:20,227
- WELL, WE HAVE HAD
OUR SHARE OF DOOZIES.
65
00:03:20,884 --> 00:03:24,085
JEFFREY!
HOW ARE WE TODAY?
66
00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:27,088
- HORRIBLE. I THINK
I'VE GOT PROSTATE PROBLEMS.
67
00:03:29,893 --> 00:03:31,159
- WELL,
I--I--I DOUBT THAT.
68
00:03:31,195 --> 00:03:33,261
YOU HARDLY HAVE
A PROSTATE.
69
00:03:33,297 --> 00:03:35,297
- I HAVE
ALL THE CLASSIC SYMPTOMS.
70
00:03:35,332 --> 00:03:38,900
INSOMNIA, IRRITABILITY,
WEAK STREAM.
71
00:03:40,571 --> 00:03:42,070
- ROOM ONE.
JILL HANOVER.
72
00:03:42,105 --> 00:03:43,305
REGULAR CHECKUP
73
00:03:43,340 --> 00:03:45,006
WITH THE WELCOME-
TO-WOMANHOOD TALK.
74
00:03:45,042 --> 00:03:46,775
HERE'S THE CUTAWAY
PELVIC DIAGRAM
75
00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:48,743
AND THE COMPLEMENTARY
WELCOME-TO-WOMANHOOD
76
00:03:48,779 --> 00:03:50,579
STARTER KIT.
77
00:03:55,385 --> 00:03:58,553
- SO, SWEETHEART.
78
00:03:58,589 --> 00:04:01,957
THEY TELL ME YOU'VE BECOME
A WOMAN SINCE LAST WE MET.
79
00:04:03,260 --> 00:04:07,128
OH! NICKY, NICK, NICK.
NO, NICK...
80
00:04:07,164 --> 00:04:09,030
HI, PHOEBE DEAR,
WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE?
81
00:04:09,066 --> 00:04:10,909
- I NEED A BLOOD TEST.
82
00:04:12,536 --> 00:04:13,802
- WHY? WHAT FOR?
83
00:04:13,837 --> 00:04:17,277
- DON'T TELL MY MOM,
BUT I'M GETTING MARRIED.
84
00:04:19,409 --> 00:04:21,076
- UNDER THE POWERS
VESTED IN ME
85
00:04:21,111 --> 00:04:23,011
BY THE AMERICAN
MEDICAL ASSOCIATION,
86
00:04:24,230 --> 00:04:27,361
I HEREBY PRONOUNCE YOU
GOING STEADY.
87
00:04:29,019 --> 00:04:31,586
WITH NO THOUGHTS AT ALL
FOR A VERY LONG, LONG TIME
88
00:04:31,622 --> 00:04:32,954
ABOUT MARRIAGE.
89
00:04:32,990 --> 00:04:34,689
- THANK YOU, DR. WESTON.
90
00:04:36,007 --> 00:04:37,792
- WELL, I GUESS
UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES,
91
00:04:37,828 --> 00:04:39,332
AND WITH ADULT SUPERVISION,
92
00:04:39,740 --> 00:04:42,093
IT WOULD BE OKAY
IF YOU TWO GUYS WANNA KISS.
93
00:04:42,624 --> 00:04:43,832
both: EW!
94
00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:45,300
- HEY!
95
00:04:45,335 --> 00:04:46,334
- LITTLE LARRY LARSON
IS HERE,
96
00:04:46,370 --> 00:04:47,702
AND BOY, IS HE EXCITED.
97
00:04:47,738 --> 00:04:50,138
HE'S DONE A-RID THE
THUNDERIN' CYCLONE THREE TIME.
98
00:04:50,173 --> 00:04:51,573
- THEY LET HIM ON
THE THUNDERING CYCLONE?
99
00:04:51,608 --> 00:04:52,641
HOW DID HE GET TALL ENOUGH?
100
00:04:52,676 --> 00:04:55,219
- WELL, YOU'LL JUST
HAVE TO ASK HIM.
101
00:05:00,584 --> 00:05:03,161
- DR. WESTON,
I NEED A WOMAN.
102
00:05:06,823 --> 00:05:10,236
- UH-UH-UH-UH.
A WOMAN. A WOMAN, HUH?
103
00:05:10,694 --> 00:05:13,202
- PREFERABLY
ONE IN HER 30s.
104
00:05:13,797 --> 00:05:16,031
- WHAT'S WRONG WITH GIRLS
YOUR OWN AGE?
105
00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:18,400
- GIRLS MY AGE
ARE OKAY, I GUESS,
106
00:05:18,435 --> 00:05:20,869
BUT THEY JUST DON'T MAKE
MY PANTS DANCE.
107
00:05:24,107 --> 00:05:25,482
- HERE YOU GO.
108
00:05:26,170 --> 00:05:27,242
- WHAT IS THIS?
109
00:05:27,277 --> 00:05:29,583
- IT'S A BIRTHDAY PRESENT!
OPEN IT!
110
00:05:29,623 --> 00:05:30,679
- NOW?
111
00:05:30,714 --> 00:05:33,259
- AT YOUR AGE,
I WOULDN'T WASTE ANY TIME.
112
00:05:42,492 --> 00:05:45,544
- OH! A NEEDLEPOINT SAMPLER!
113
00:05:46,267 --> 00:05:48,330
"ROSES ARE RED,
VIOLETS ARE BLUE,
114
00:05:48,365 --> 00:05:50,029
"YOUR PATIENTS LOVE YOU
115
00:05:50,756 --> 00:05:52,302
AND I DO TOO."
116
00:05:54,438 --> 00:05:56,371
YOU MADE THIS FOR ME?
117
00:05:56,406 --> 00:05:58,940
- NO, ROSEY GRIER
HAD A GARAGE SALE!
118
00:05:58,976 --> 00:06:01,343
OF COURSE I MADE IT!
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?
119
00:06:01,378 --> 00:06:02,510
- NOTHING.
120
00:06:02,546 --> 00:06:04,145
I JUST
WOULDN'T HAVE EXPECTED
121
00:06:04,181 --> 00:06:07,649
SOMETHING SO SENTIMENTAL
FROM YOU, THAT'S ALL.
122
00:06:07,684 --> 00:06:09,050
BUT AFTER
ALL OUR YEARS TOGETHER,
123
00:06:09,086 --> 00:06:10,719
I GUESS I SHOULD KNOW
BY NOW
124
00:06:10,754 --> 00:06:12,364
TO EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED.
125
00:06:14,814 --> 00:06:16,257
- WHAT IN THE WORLD
WOULD MAKE YOU GO
126
00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:18,560
TO SOMEONE ELSE
FOR A SHOT?
127
00:06:18,595 --> 00:06:20,829
- WELL, LAVERNE, IT'S
A VERY COMPLICATED ISSUE.
128
00:06:20,864 --> 00:06:22,464
YOU AND I HAVE WORKED
LONG AND HARD
129
00:06:22,499 --> 00:06:24,666
TO DEFINE
OUR PROFESSIONAL RELATIONSHIP,
130
00:06:24,701 --> 00:06:26,301
TO MAINTAIN
THAT DELICATE BALANCE
131
00:06:26,336 --> 00:06:28,336
BETWEEN DOCTOR AND NURSE
AND PERSONAL AND BUSINESS.
132
00:06:28,372 --> 00:06:29,504
- WHAT ARE YOU SAYIN'?
133
00:06:29,539 --> 00:06:31,792
- I DON'T WANT YOU
TO SEE MY HINEY.
134
00:06:35,445 --> 00:06:37,833
- WELL, IT'S NOT GONNA BE
A GOLDEN MOMENT
135
00:06:37,872 --> 00:06:39,593
IN MY LIFE EITHER.
136
00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:43,485
- LAVERNE?
WHERE ARE YOU?
137
00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:45,587
- I'M AT HOME.
I HAD OTTO THE JANITOR
138
00:06:45,622 --> 00:06:47,355
SET UP THIS SPEAKER BOX.
139
00:06:48,444 --> 00:06:50,225
- WHY?
- OH, I DON'T KNOW.
140
00:06:50,260 --> 00:06:52,260
I JUST THOUGHT IT'S TIME
TO TRY RUNNIN' THE OFFICE
141
00:06:52,295 --> 00:06:53,528
A LITTLE DIFFERENTLY.
142
00:06:53,563 --> 00:06:55,675
YOU KNOW, A MORE
OF A HANDS-OFF APPROACH.
143
00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:58,400
- LAVERNE,
THIS IS RIDICULOUS!
144
00:06:58,435 --> 00:07:00,368
I CAN'T TALK TO A BOX
ALL DAY!
145
00:07:00,404 --> 00:07:01,736
- PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT!
146
00:07:01,772 --> 00:07:04,358
I WILL NOT HAVE MYSELF
SHAKEN AROUND LIKE THAT!
147
00:07:06,370 --> 00:07:10,224
- HI THERE! I'M TIM CORNELL,
YOUR NURSE TRAINEE.
148
00:07:20,785 --> 00:07:22,092
- UH-HUH.
149
00:07:23,087 --> 00:07:26,001
IT'S GONNA BE A PLEASURE
TO WORK WITH YOU.
150
00:07:26,290 --> 00:07:27,422
- THANKS.
151
00:07:27,458 --> 00:07:30,020
- NOW, FALL IN,
YOU SLIMY WORM!
152
00:07:31,796 --> 00:07:35,468
I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT THEY
SENT ME! A BOY NURSE!
153
00:07:36,718 --> 00:07:38,600
I BET YOU THINK 'CAUSE YOU
DON'T GOT DARTS ON YOUR BLOUSE,
154
00:07:38,636 --> 00:07:40,002
I'M GONNA BE EASY ON YOU.
155
00:07:40,037 --> 00:07:41,270
YOU THINK THAT,
DON'T YOU, BOY?
156
00:07:42,356 --> 00:07:43,839
- NO, I DON'T THINK
YOU UNDERSTAND.
157
00:07:43,874 --> 00:07:45,007
- YOU?
158
00:07:45,042 --> 00:07:46,441
THE EWE IS A FEMALE SHEEP.
159
00:07:46,477 --> 00:07:48,699
IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK
I AM, BOY?
160
00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:51,446
OKAY, EVERYTHING SEEMS
TO BE IN ORDER.
161
00:07:51,482 --> 00:07:52,748
I JUST NEED
YOUR INSURANCE CARD
162
00:07:52,783 --> 00:07:54,216
AND THE NAME
OF YOUR EMPLOYER.
163
00:07:54,251 --> 00:07:56,218
- THAT'S KIMMEL MOTORS.
164
00:08:00,909 --> 00:08:02,344
- KIMMEL MOTORS?
165
00:08:02,909 --> 00:08:04,326
YOU WORK
FOR KIMMEL MOTORS?
166
00:08:04,361 --> 00:08:06,395
- I'M THE SERVICE MANAGER
THERE.
167
00:08:09,500 --> 00:08:10,723
- BUD?
168
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:13,089
YOU BUD LARKIN?
169
00:08:14,205 --> 00:08:16,438
YOU'VE BEEN GIVIN' ME
THE RUNAROUND ALL WEEK
170
00:08:16,473 --> 00:08:18,607
ABOUT MY CAR.
I'M LAVERNE TODD.
171
00:08:19,469 --> 00:08:20,825
- OH...
172
00:08:21,445 --> 00:08:22,564
HI!
173
00:08:24,415 --> 00:08:27,549
UM, HERE'S
MY INSURANCE CARD.
174
00:08:27,585 --> 00:08:30,085
- CARD.
SORRY, BUD.
175
00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:32,354
I'M GONNA NEED
TO SEE THE POLICY.
176
00:08:34,024 --> 00:08:36,158
- THE POLICY?
BUT--BUT THAT'S AT HOME!
177
00:08:36,193 --> 00:08:37,476
- UH-OH.
178
00:08:38,920 --> 00:08:40,495
LET ME ASK YOU,
HOW OFTEN DO YOU
179
00:08:40,531 --> 00:08:41,663
BRING IN YOUR DAUGHTER
180
00:08:41,699 --> 00:08:43,553
FOR THE RECOMMENDED
MAINTENANCE?
181
00:08:44,301 --> 00:08:45,767
- NOW, LOOK,
MAYBE I SHOULD
182
00:08:45,803 --> 00:08:47,436
JUST TAKE MY DAUGHTER
AND GO.
183
00:08:47,471 --> 00:08:49,204
- OH, I'M SORRY.
184
00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:50,739
WE'RE GONNA HAVE
TO KEEP HER OVERNIGHT.
185
00:08:50,774 --> 00:08:52,659
WE'RE HAVIN' TROUBLE
GETTIN' PARTS.
186
00:08:55,012 --> 00:08:56,144
- UH-HUH.
THE ICE MACHINE
187
00:08:56,180 --> 00:08:57,479
DOESN'T MAKE THAT NOISE
ANYMORE.
188
00:08:57,514 --> 00:09:00,117
- OH, YEAH, I TINKERED
WITH THE FRIDGE A BIT.
189
00:09:01,819 --> 00:09:06,154
- LAVERNE. OH-HO.
I REALLY APPRECIATE IT.
190
00:09:06,190 --> 00:09:09,157
- [playing Dixie]
191
00:09:09,193 --> 00:09:12,995
192
00:09:19,435 --> 00:09:21,068
- DADDY,
THAT IS THE THIRD TIME
193
00:09:21,103 --> 00:09:23,103
YOU'VE CHANGED OUTFITS
TONIGHT. WHAT'S GOING ON?
194
00:09:23,138 --> 00:09:25,305
- I DON'T KNOW. SOMETIMES
YOU JUST FEEL LIKE DRESSING UP.
195
00:09:25,340 --> 00:09:29,090
- OKAY, WE'LL SEE YOU LATER.
WE'RE GOING APARTMENT HUNTING.
196
00:09:29,126 --> 00:09:30,254
- REALLY?
197
00:09:30,300 --> 00:09:32,779
- YEAH, I FINALLY FOUND
A LOFT I THINK WE CAN AFFORD.
198
00:09:32,815 --> 00:09:34,781
- GOOD!
THAT'S--THAT'S GOOD.
199
00:09:34,817 --> 00:09:37,818
- BYE!
- YEAH, BYE. BYE-BYE.
200
00:09:37,853 --> 00:09:39,820
[blowing raspberry]
WHAT A SETUP.
201
00:09:39,855 --> 00:09:41,788
I MEAN,
THEY'RE REALLY SETTING ME UP.
202
00:09:41,824 --> 00:09:43,457
- OH, DAD,
I ALMOST FORGOT TO TELL YOU.
203
00:09:43,492 --> 00:09:45,066
BARBARA CALLED
TO WISH YOU A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
204
00:09:45,100 --> 00:09:46,399
SHE SAID
SHE'LL CALL YOU LATER.
205
00:09:46,433 --> 00:09:47,613
- UH-HUH.
206
00:09:47,652 --> 00:09:49,597
TOO BAD SHE COULDN'T
BE HERE FOR MY BIRTHDAY.
207
00:09:49,623 --> 00:09:51,156
- YEAH, I MISS BARBARA.
208
00:09:51,198 --> 00:09:53,378
- OH, SO DO I.
CAROL MISSES HER TOO.
209
00:09:53,417 --> 00:09:54,497
- REALLY?
210
00:09:54,542 --> 00:09:56,242
HEY, WEREN'T THOSE TWO
FIGHTING ALL THE TIME?
211
00:09:56,277 --> 00:09:58,644
- NO! NO! NO, NO!
212
00:10:00,615 --> 00:10:04,131
WELL, PERHAPS THERE
WERE A FEW MINOR SKIRMISHES.
213
00:10:05,086 --> 00:10:07,019
- GET OUT OF MY WAY!
- GET OUT OF MY WAY!
214
00:10:07,054 --> 00:10:08,254
- THIS IS RIDICULOUS!
215
00:10:08,289 --> 00:10:09,855
YOU'RE ACTING
LIKE THE THREE STOOGES!
216
00:10:09,891 --> 00:10:12,958
- AM NOT! NYUH, NYUH!
WAH-BOO-BOO, WAH-BOO-BOO!
217
00:10:14,026 --> 00:10:15,292
-
SISTERS
218
00:10:15,327 --> 00:10:16,994
-
SISTERS
219
00:10:17,029 --> 00:10:19,897
both:
THERE WERE NEVER
SUCH DEVOTED SISTERS
220
00:10:19,932 --> 00:10:21,865
-
MANY MEN HAVE TRIED
TO SPLIT US UP
221
00:10:21,901 --> 00:10:23,954
BUT NO ONE CAN
222
00:10:24,083 --> 00:10:26,370
-
LORD HELP THE MISTER
223
00:10:26,405 --> 00:10:29,440
WHO COMES BETWEEN ME
AND MY SISTER
224
00:10:29,475 --> 00:10:32,476
both:
AND LORD HELP THE SISTER
225
00:10:32,511 --> 00:10:35,767
WHO COMES
BETWEEN ME AND MY MAN
226
00:10:38,784 --> 00:10:40,350
- CAROL, HONEY,
WHY DON'T YOU COME WITH US
227
00:10:40,386 --> 00:10:42,186
TO THE TENNIS MATCH
TONIGHT? IT'LL BE FUN.
228
00:10:42,221 --> 00:10:45,089
AND BESIDES,
YOU KNOW HOW SCARED YOU GET
229
00:10:45,124 --> 00:10:46,423
WHEN YOU'RE
ALL ALONE AT NIGHT.
230
00:10:46,459 --> 00:10:48,392
- DADDY, IT'S NOT AS BAD
AS ALL THAT.
231
00:10:48,427 --> 00:10:50,194
- BOO!
- AAH!
232
00:10:50,229 --> 00:10:52,730
- ALL RIGHT. STOP
SCARING YOUR SISTER, PLEASE!
233
00:10:52,765 --> 00:10:55,032
- OKAY, DADDY.
SWAMP THING!
234
00:10:55,067 --> 00:10:57,201
- DADDY!
- GO, GO!
235
00:10:57,236 --> 00:10:59,503
- DO YOU THINK
I'M A COMPLETE LOSER?
236
00:11:01,741 --> 00:11:03,507
- WHERE DID THAT
COME FROM?
237
00:11:03,542 --> 00:11:04,842
- I WAS CLEANING
238
00:11:04,877 --> 00:11:07,591
AND I NOTICED HOW THE LIGHT
SLICED THROUGH THE DUST.
239
00:11:07,622 --> 00:11:10,656
AND I THOUGHT "ONE DAY
THAT'S WHAT I'LL BE. DUST."
240
00:11:10,692 --> 00:11:12,124
AND WHAT WILL I HAVE
TO SHOW FOR IT?
241
00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:14,193
NO HUSBAND,
NO CHILDREN.
242
00:11:14,228 --> 00:11:15,928
I DON'T KNOW
ABOUT MY JOB AT THE LIBRARY.
243
00:11:15,964 --> 00:11:18,764
- OH, COME ON, CAROL, CAROL,
CAROL. SHH, SHH, SHH, SHH.
244
00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:21,603
COME ON, BABY.
YOU'RE GONNA BE OKAY.
245
00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:23,406
- WHAT A NUT.
246
00:11:27,642 --> 00:11:30,610
[playing Heart and Soul]
247
00:11:30,645 --> 00:11:38,651
248
00:11:55,536 --> 00:11:57,970
[Carol playing off-key]
249
00:12:08,650 --> 00:12:10,950
[Carol ends song
with a flourish]
250
00:12:10,985 --> 00:12:13,252
- WE DID IT!
WE GOT THROUGH IT!
251
00:12:13,287 --> 00:12:17,790
[applause]
252
00:12:23,898 --> 00:12:25,931
BARBARA,
I ACKNOWLEDGED YOU.
253
00:12:25,967 --> 00:12:27,333
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO
ACKNOWLEDGE ME.
254
00:12:27,368 --> 00:12:29,068
- YOU WERE NOT SUPPOSED
TO FINISH WITH A FLOURISH!
255
00:12:29,103 --> 00:12:30,736
- BUT YOU MESSED UP YOUR PART.
I COVERED FOR YOU!
256
00:12:30,772 --> 00:12:32,071
- YOU DIDN'T COVER!
YOU HOGGED!
257
00:12:32,106 --> 00:12:33,773
- DID NOT!
- DID TOO!
258
00:12:40,615 --> 00:12:43,549
- WOW! NOW I KNOW
WHY YOU TURNED TOTALLY GRAY.
259
00:12:43,584 --> 00:12:45,817
COME ON, HARRY.
YOU'RE COMING WITH ME.
260
00:12:46,521 --> 00:12:47,787
- WHERE...
WHERE ARE WE GOING?
261
00:12:47,822 --> 00:12:48,988
- TO THE MALL
FOR A FEW HOURS.
262
00:12:49,023 --> 00:12:50,322
I COULDN'T DECIDE
WHAT TO GET YOU,
263
00:12:50,348 --> 00:12:51,798
SO I THOUGHT I'D LET YOU
PICK UP YOUR OWN PRESENT.
264
00:12:51,837 --> 00:12:53,559
- OUT OF THE HOUSE
FOR A FEW HOURS?
265
00:12:53,594 --> 00:12:56,101
OKAY. SURE. I MEAN,
WHATEVER YOU SAY, DEAR.
266
00:12:56,470 --> 00:12:57,697
- YOU KNOW, DAD,
IT'S A SHAME
267
00:12:57,732 --> 00:12:59,432
YOU CAN'T SHARE
YOUR BIRTHDAY WITH A DATE.
268
00:12:59,467 --> 00:13:02,232
OR HAVE YOU LOST INTEREST
IN WOMEN BY NOW?
269
00:13:03,296 --> 00:13:05,538
- WELL, I'M NOT EXACTLY
GERALDO OR WILFRED,
270
00:13:05,573 --> 00:13:07,306
BUT THERE HAVE BEEN
A FEW LADIES IN MY LIFE,
271
00:13:07,341 --> 00:13:08,607
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
272
00:13:12,052 --> 00:13:14,246
- OH, HARRY,
EVEN AFTER 15 YEARS,
273
00:13:14,282 --> 00:13:16,083
YOU'RE JUST AS TERRIFIC
AS I REMEMBERED.
274
00:13:16,284 --> 00:13:18,384
NO WONDER I'VE ALWAYS HAD
THIS HUGE CRUSH ON YOU.
275
00:13:18,419 --> 00:13:19,975
- OH, I--
276
00:13:21,589 --> 00:13:25,328
SORRY, SORRY, THAT'S MINE.
NO, WELL, FORGET IT. KEEP IT.
277
00:13:26,425 --> 00:13:29,459
I MEAN, IF YOU LIKE IT,
IT'S NUMBER 24 ON THE MENU.
278
00:13:32,133 --> 00:13:34,700
- IN SCHOOL,
I USED TO DRAW
279
00:13:34,736 --> 00:13:36,135
LITTLE HEARTS
ALL OVER MY BINDER.
280
00:13:36,170 --> 00:13:38,084
- WITH ME,
IT WAS SKULLS.
281
00:13:38,473 --> 00:13:40,339
- AND IN THE HEARTS
I WOULD WRITE
282
00:13:40,374 --> 00:13:41,974
"DR. AND MRS. HARRY WESTON."
283
00:13:42,009 --> 00:13:43,117
- OH.
284
00:13:46,013 --> 00:13:48,214
WELL, YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T WANT
THE TWO OF YOU FIGHTING
285
00:13:48,249 --> 00:13:50,149
OVER THAT ONE PIECE.
286
00:13:50,184 --> 00:13:51,777
[laughing]
287
00:13:51,809 --> 00:13:53,473
- HARRY, I'M NOT BLIND.
288
00:13:53,755 --> 00:13:56,622
I KNEW FROM THE MOMENT
THAT I SUGGESTED THE HOTEL
289
00:13:56,657 --> 00:13:58,357
THAT THIS WOULD BE
DIFFICULT FOR YOU.
290
00:13:58,941 --> 00:14:01,836
I WAS HOPING THAT I MIGHT
EASE YOU THROUGH IT.
291
00:14:02,563 --> 00:14:04,764
- I FEEL
LIKE A SCHOOL KID HERE.
292
00:14:04,799 --> 00:14:06,421
THIS IS SO SCARY!
293
00:14:07,101 --> 00:14:08,834
I MEAN, LIBBY AND I,
WE HAD 32 YEARS
294
00:14:08,870 --> 00:14:10,102
TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER.
295
00:14:10,138 --> 00:14:11,871
YOU AND I, JUST A MONTH
WE'VE KNOWN EACH OTHER.
296
00:14:11,906 --> 00:14:13,405
I DON'T KNOW
IF YOU LIKE
297
00:14:13,441 --> 00:14:15,007
BEING TICKLED
BEHIND THE LEFT EAR
298
00:14:15,539 --> 00:14:17,143
OR I DON'T KNOW
HOW YOU WOULD FEEL
299
00:14:17,178 --> 00:14:19,478
ABOUT THE THINGS I SAY
IN A MOMENT OF PASSION.
300
00:14:19,514 --> 00:14:20,944
- WHAT DO YOU SAY?
301
00:14:23,217 --> 00:14:25,557
- I'D RATHER NOT GO
INTO THAT.
302
00:14:25,987 --> 00:14:28,120
- WHAT?
- NO. NOTHING.
303
00:14:28,156 --> 00:14:29,588
NO, IT'S SILLY
OUT OF CONTEXT.
304
00:14:29,624 --> 00:14:30,723
PLUS, YOU HAVE TO BE
FAMILIAR
305
00:14:30,758 --> 00:14:32,957
WITH THE MOVIE
YANKEE DOODLE DANDY.
306
00:14:34,295 --> 00:14:36,595
- I'M MYRNA
AND THIS IS CHARLOTTE.
307
00:14:36,631 --> 00:14:37,763
- HOW DO YOU DO?
308
00:14:37,799 --> 00:14:38,964
- IT LOOKS LIKE WE'RE
309
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:40,633
YOUR TABLE PARTNERS
FOR THE CRUISE.
310
00:14:40,668 --> 00:14:42,134
- OH, WELL,
I'M HARRY WESTON
311
00:14:42,170 --> 00:14:44,270
AND THESE ARE MY DAUGHTERS--
THIS IS CAROL AND BARBARA.
312
00:14:44,305 --> 00:14:47,106
- HI.
- AND WHERE IS MRS. WESTON?
313
00:14:47,141 --> 00:14:49,441
- UH, WELL, THERE IS NO
MRS. WESTON. I'M A WIDOWER.
314
00:14:49,477 --> 00:14:51,577
both: OH!
315
00:14:54,348 --> 00:14:56,749
- DID YOU GET ON
AT FORT LAUDERDALE?
316
00:14:56,784 --> 00:14:58,784
- UH, YES, YES.
WE LIVE IN MIAMI.
317
00:14:58,820 --> 00:15:00,801
both: OH!
318
00:15:02,223 --> 00:15:03,756
- WHAT DO YOU DO, HARRY?
319
00:15:03,791 --> 00:15:05,224
- I'M A PEDIATRICIAN.
320
00:15:05,259 --> 00:15:07,026
both: OH!
321
00:15:08,285 --> 00:15:10,152
- PAIGE?
- HARRY?
322
00:15:10,187 --> 00:15:15,009
- OH, WELL, I WASN'T
EXPECTING SOMEONE SO...YOUNG.
323
00:15:16,341 --> 00:15:18,883
- I WASN'T EXPECTING
SOMEONE SO...
324
00:15:24,468 --> 00:15:26,101
- DISTINGUISHED?
325
00:15:27,972 --> 00:15:29,538
YOU KNOW,
TALL, TALL, TALL.
326
00:15:29,573 --> 00:15:30,639
TALL WILL BE ALL RIGHT
TOO, DEAR.
327
00:15:30,674 --> 00:15:33,475
HERE, PLEASE, HAVE A SEAT.
- THANK YOU.
328
00:15:33,511 --> 00:15:34,910
- UH-HUH.
329
00:15:38,649 --> 00:15:40,599
- CAN I GET YOU
SOMETHING NOW?
330
00:15:41,685 --> 00:15:43,051
- I WOULDN'T MIND
HAVING A DRINK,
331
00:15:43,087 --> 00:15:45,387
UNLESS YOU'RE UNCOMFORTABLE
WITH THIS.
332
00:15:45,422 --> 00:15:47,623
- UNCOMFORTABLE?
NO, NO, NO. NOT AT ALL.
333
00:15:47,658 --> 00:15:50,025
I'LL HAVE A BEER AND SHE'LL
HAVE A SHIRLEY TEMPLE.
334
00:15:54,999 --> 00:15:57,099
- HOW ABOUT A WHITE WINE?
335
00:15:57,134 --> 00:15:59,456
- YOU HAVE ID, RIGHT?
336
00:16:01,252 --> 00:16:02,349
- YES.
337
00:16:03,841 --> 00:16:06,742
- DOLLAR OFF WITH
YOUR SENIOR CITIZEN'S CARD!
338
00:16:17,389 --> 00:16:19,521
- SO, WHY DO YOU THINK
339
00:16:19,557 --> 00:16:21,890
DR. WILLIAMS THOUGHT
WE SHOULD GO OUT?
340
00:16:21,926 --> 00:16:23,507
- I DON'T KNOW.
341
00:16:24,928 --> 00:16:26,161
WHAT BUSINESS ARE YOU IN?
342
00:16:26,196 --> 00:16:27,444
- ANTIQUES.
343
00:16:33,170 --> 00:16:35,795
- GEE, EMILY,
THE HOUSE IS SO DARK.
344
00:16:36,140 --> 00:16:37,873
- THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS
WHEN WE LEAVE IN THE DAY
345
00:16:37,908 --> 00:16:39,541
AND COME BACK
WHEN IT'S NIGHT.
346
00:16:39,577 --> 00:16:41,410
- OH, YEAH, YEAH.
YEAH, I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT.
347
00:16:41,445 --> 00:16:44,134
WELL, LET'S GO INSIDE!
348
00:16:51,021 --> 00:16:52,921
IT'S EMPTY.
THE LIVING ROOM IS EMPTY.
349
00:16:52,957 --> 00:16:54,356
- OF COURSE,
IT'S JUST YOU AND ME.
350
00:16:54,391 --> 00:16:56,291
CAROL AND PATRICK ARE
STILL OUT LOOKING AT LOFTS.
351
00:16:56,327 --> 00:16:57,693
- OH, RIGHT.
YEAH, RIGHT, DEAR.
352
00:16:57,728 --> 00:16:58,860
THAT'S WHERE THEY ARE.
353
00:16:58,896 --> 00:17:00,596
- ANYWAY,
SHOPPING WAS FUN, HARRY.
354
00:17:00,631 --> 00:17:03,414
- YEAH, I LOVE THE SHOE TREES
WE PICKED OUT.
355
00:17:04,234 --> 00:17:05,534
- OH, I ALMOST FORGOT.
356
00:17:05,569 --> 00:17:07,502
THERE'S SOMETHING
I WANNA SHOW YOU IN THE KITCHEN.
357
00:17:07,538 --> 00:17:08,737
- IN THE KITCHEN?
358
00:17:08,772 --> 00:17:10,973
WELL, THEN,
LEAD ON.
359
00:17:14,612 --> 00:17:16,345
- SEE? THE LINOLEUM'S
STARTING TO COME UP.
360
00:17:16,380 --> 00:17:17,713
NOW,
I DON'T CARE THAT MUCH,
361
00:17:17,748 --> 00:17:19,581
BUT CAROL'S AFRAID
SHE'S GONNA TRIP AND FALL.
362
00:17:19,617 --> 00:17:21,083
ANYWAY, I'VE GOTTA RUN.
I GOT A DATE.
363
00:17:21,118 --> 00:17:23,051
- WAIT. WAIT. WHAT?
A DATE NOW AT THIS HOUR?
364
00:17:23,087 --> 00:17:24,786
- HARRY, IT'S 8:30.
365
00:17:25,604 --> 00:17:27,641
- YEAH, IT IS.
IT'S ALREADY 8:30.
366
00:17:27,668 --> 00:17:29,502
- ANYWAY, I LOVE YOU, DAD.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
367
00:17:29,531 --> 00:17:31,164
- ALL RIGHT. THANKS, DEAR.
368
00:17:33,097 --> 00:17:34,596
- HEY, HARRY.
369
00:17:34,632 --> 00:17:36,064
MY PARTY'S RUNNING LOW
ON BREWSKI.
370
00:17:36,100 --> 00:17:37,232
I THOUGHT I'D STOCK UP.
371
00:17:37,267 --> 00:17:38,857
- OH, THERE'S A PARTY?
372
00:17:38,886 --> 00:17:41,136
- YEAH, I'M THROWING
A SURPRISE PARTY FOR THOR,
373
00:17:41,171 --> 00:17:42,504
HEAD MAINTENANCE GUY
IN THE SHIP.
374
00:17:43,357 --> 00:17:45,996
- OH, REALLY?
THAT'S--THAT'S THE PARTY.
375
00:17:46,029 --> 00:17:47,328
- HEY, WHY DON'T YOU
COME ON OVER?
376
00:17:47,363 --> 00:17:49,197
I GOT ONE CHICK
ABOUT YOUR AGE.
377
00:17:49,705 --> 00:17:51,466
WE HAVE TO WAKE HER UP.
378
00:17:51,501 --> 00:17:53,269
BUT YOU'RE WELCOME TO HER.
379
00:17:53,703 --> 00:17:55,336
[door slams]
380
00:17:55,371 --> 00:17:57,563
- OH, WELL, I GUESS...
381
00:17:58,608 --> 00:18:00,141
THERE'S NO PARTY.
382
00:18:01,077 --> 00:18:03,570
SERVES ME RIGHT
FOR EAVESDROPPING ON CHARLEY.
383
00:18:04,282 --> 00:18:05,585
CHARLEY.
384
00:18:06,049 --> 00:18:07,448
WHAT DID I EVER DO
TO DESERVE HIM
385
00:18:07,484 --> 00:18:09,083
FOR A NEIGHBOR ANYWAY?
386
00:18:11,154 --> 00:18:12,920
- I TALKED
TO THE THERAPIST ON THE SHIP.
387
00:18:13,463 --> 00:18:15,323
- YOU HAVE A THERAPIST
ON THE SHIP?
388
00:18:15,358 --> 00:18:16,524
- YEAH, ERIC.
389
00:18:16,559 --> 00:18:18,843
- HE DOUBLES
AS A SKEET SHOOTING INSTRUCTOR.
390
00:18:20,621 --> 00:18:21,762
- WHAT DID HE SAY?
391
00:18:21,798 --> 00:18:25,066
- HE SAID
"DEATH IS NOT TO BE FEARED,
392
00:18:25,101 --> 00:18:26,801
"BUT TO BE ACCEPTED
AS PART
393
00:18:26,836 --> 00:18:29,237
"OF THE NATURAL ORDER
OF THINGS.
394
00:18:29,272 --> 00:18:30,594
PULL!"
395
00:18:34,143 --> 00:18:35,843
- CHARLEY,
I GOTTA TELL YOU.
396
00:18:35,879 --> 00:18:37,979
I MEAN, I'M REAL SORRY YOU LOST
YOUR SEX DRIVE AND ALL,
397
00:18:38,014 --> 00:18:41,115
BUT I'VE SORT OF ENJOYED
HAVING YOU AROUND THE HOUSE
398
00:18:41,150 --> 00:18:42,783
THESE LAST FEW DAYS.
399
00:18:42,819 --> 00:18:44,318
- YEAH, IT'S BEEN GREAT.
400
00:18:44,354 --> 00:18:46,810
- YOU'VE EVEN TURNED ME
AROUND, CHARLEY.
401
00:18:47,457 --> 00:18:49,090
- YOU'VE BECOME
THE FRIEND AND NEIGHBOR
402
00:18:49,125 --> 00:18:50,258
WE'VE ALWAYS WANTED.
403
00:18:50,293 --> 00:18:53,060
- OH, GEE, THANKS, HARRY.
404
00:18:53,096 --> 00:18:54,795
AND YOU KNOW...
405
00:18:54,831 --> 00:18:56,464
I DON'T EVEN MISS
THE OLD ME.
406
00:18:56,499 --> 00:19:01,269
THAT LIFE I LED,
IT WAS...EMPTY, POINTLESS,
407
00:19:01,304 --> 00:19:04,992
IT WAS GOING NOWHERE,
BUT NOW...
408
00:19:05,808 --> 00:19:10,111
I'VE GOT THIS FEELING
OF...OH, BOY.
409
00:19:12,916 --> 00:19:14,415
- WHAT?
WHAT IS IT, CHARLEY?
410
00:19:14,450 --> 00:19:18,286
- I THINK MAYBE
MY SEX DRIVE IS COMING BACK.
411
00:19:21,057 --> 00:19:23,157
CAROL, HAVE YOU EVER
HEARD THE EXPRESSION
412
00:19:23,192 --> 00:19:26,226
"FEED THE FEVER,
BOFF THE FLU"?
413
00:19:28,598 --> 00:19:30,535
- STAY BACK. STAY BACK.
414
00:19:36,806 --> 00:19:38,239
[glass shatters]
415
00:19:57,760 --> 00:20:00,573
CHARLEY!
- OH, MY GOD!
416
00:20:01,230 --> 00:20:04,065
- CHARLEY,
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?
417
00:20:05,902 --> 00:20:08,035
- AT THE MOMENT,
EVERYTHING POSSIBLE
418
00:20:08,071 --> 00:20:10,081
TO KEEP FROM WETTING MYSELF.
419
00:20:10,473 --> 00:20:12,540
HEY, DID YOU GUYS HEAR
THE NEWS ABOUT THE HURRICANE?
420
00:20:12,575 --> 00:20:13,908
IT'S GONNA HIT
IN AN HOUR.
421
00:20:13,943 --> 00:20:15,643
THEY SAID
TO STOCK UP ON FOOD.
422
00:20:19,349 --> 00:20:21,781
I ADVISE YOU GUYS
TO DO THE SAME.
423
00:20:24,253 --> 00:20:25,820
- WILL THE MODEL
COME OUT, PLEASE?
424
00:20:34,631 --> 00:20:36,136
- HI, LADIES.
425
00:20:40,545 --> 00:20:42,403
CAROL. BARBARA.
426
00:20:42,438 --> 00:20:44,774
SORRY,
I DON'T MEAN TO POINT.
427
00:20:50,113 --> 00:20:52,246
- WELL, I GOT MY SURPRISE.
428
00:20:52,281 --> 00:20:55,346
SURPRISE WAS...NO SURPRISE!
429
00:20:56,319 --> 00:20:57,618
COME ON.
COME ON, DREYF, LET'S GO.
430
00:20:57,654 --> 00:20:59,186
WE'LL GET TO BED EARLY.
431
00:21:02,058 --> 00:21:05,626
[Dreyfuss barking]
432
00:21:05,662 --> 00:21:08,562
- DREYF. DREYF, DREYF,
DREYF, WHAT'S THE MATTER?
433
00:21:08,598 --> 00:21:10,631
- all: SURPRISE!
434
00:21:12,835 --> 00:21:15,121
- OH, DADDY,
IT WAS ALL A SETUP!
435
00:21:15,304 --> 00:21:17,304
- AS THE MAYOR
OF PALM SPRINGS SAID
436
00:21:17,340 --> 00:21:19,440
"WE GOT YOU, BABE!"
437
00:21:19,842 --> 00:21:22,410
- A SETUP?
THE WHOLE THING WAS A SETUP?
438
00:21:22,445 --> 00:21:24,445
- YEAH, ALL OF IT.
CHARLEY'S PHONE COLLEGE PARTY.
439
00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:25,680
THE SHOPPING TRIPS.
ALL OF IT.
440
00:21:25,715 --> 00:21:27,081
- DOCTOR, WE GOT YOU GOOD.
441
00:21:27,116 --> 00:21:29,050
WE KNEW YOU KNEW,
BUT YOU DIDN'T KNOW
442
00:21:29,085 --> 00:21:30,917
WE KNEW YOU KNEW.
443
00:21:31,754 --> 00:21:33,788
- COME ON, DADDY.
OPEN YOUR PRESENTS.
444
00:21:33,823 --> 00:21:35,022
- OH, I CAN'T--
445
00:21:35,058 --> 00:21:36,290
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
WAIT A SECOND.
446
00:21:36,325 --> 00:21:38,325
THE PART ABOUT YOU TWO
HUNTING FOR AN APARTMENT?
447
00:21:38,361 --> 00:21:41,896
- THAT WAS A SETUP TOO!
- MOVING? AGH!
448
00:21:41,931 --> 00:21:45,066
THAT IS THE FARTHEST THING
FROM OUR MINDS!
449
00:21:57,590 --> 00:21:59,056
PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS.
450
00:22:24,233 --> 00:22:25,966
[Charley exhales]
451
00:22:28,304 --> 00:22:30,070
- IS THAT A FLY UP THERE?
452
00:22:31,841 --> 00:22:33,656
- YES, I THINK IT IS.
453
00:22:34,099 --> 00:22:36,800
JUST FLYING AROUND.
454
00:22:38,637 --> 00:22:41,604
[Charley buzzing]
455
00:22:42,617 --> 00:22:44,941
- THEY HAVE HUNDREDS
OF EYES, YOU KNOW?
456
00:22:44,976 --> 00:22:46,242
- OH, I KNOW.
457
00:22:46,278 --> 00:22:49,012
JUST THINK OF ALL THE THINGS
THEY MUST SEE.
458
00:22:49,062 --> 00:22:53,612
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