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1
00:00:00,523 --> 00:00:03,281
- OH, OF COURSE I HEARD THAT.
THAT'S OLD NEWS.
2
00:00:03,320 --> 00:00:06,563
LORETTA'S HAD SO MANY FACELIFTS
SHE CAN WINK 'ER LIP.
3
00:00:07,932 --> 00:00:10,536
WELL, YOU CAN'T TELL
IF SHE'S CRYIN' OR DROOLIN'.
4
00:00:11,269 --> 00:00:13,302
HEY, D'YOU HEAR
ABOUT DR. QUIGGLY?
5
00:00:13,338 --> 00:00:14,470
HE IS HAVING AN AFFAIR
6
00:00:14,505 --> 00:00:16,572
WITH THE FOURTH-FLOOR
RECEPTIONIST.
7
00:00:16,608 --> 00:00:18,908
UH-HUH, I THINK
IT'S OVER THOUGH.
8
00:00:18,943 --> 00:00:20,476
I HEAR HE'S SEEIN' HIS WIFE
ON THE SIDE.
9
00:00:20,511 --> 00:00:21,869
WHAT?
10
00:00:22,547 --> 00:00:24,013
- LAVERNE,
WHEN YOU FINISH GOSSIPING,
11
00:00:24,048 --> 00:00:25,481
I NEED THE FILE
ON THE ATKINSON BOY.
12
00:00:25,516 --> 00:00:28,184
- WELL, HE NEEDS A BOOSTER.
- FINE. THANK YOU.
13
00:00:28,219 --> 00:00:29,385
[phone ringing]
14
00:00:29,420 --> 00:00:30,887
OH, IF THAT'S DR. BENTLEY...
15
00:00:30,922 --> 00:00:32,722
- NO, IT AIN'T.
HE'S UP IN MATERNITY
16
00:00:32,757 --> 00:00:35,157
GETTIN' A SPONGE BATH
FROM NURSE WILLOW.
17
00:00:36,427 --> 00:00:38,661
- OH.
- DOCTOR'S OFFICE?
18
00:00:38,696 --> 00:00:41,337
OH, HI, FLORENCE.
WHAT'VE YOU GOT FOR ME?
19
00:00:42,467 --> 00:00:44,373
NO.
20
00:00:45,803 --> 00:00:47,603
IN A TREE?
21
00:00:51,809 --> 00:00:55,278
-
LIFE GOES ON
AND SO DO WE
22
00:00:55,313 --> 00:00:59,649
JUST HOW WE DO IT
IS NO MYSTERY
23
00:00:59,684 --> 00:01:04,387
ONE BY ONE
WE FILL THE DAYS
24
00:01:04,422 --> 00:01:07,423
WE FIND A THOUSAND
DIFFERENT WAYS
25
00:01:07,458 --> 00:01:11,594
SOMETIMES THE ANSWER
CAN BE HARD TO FIND
26
00:01:11,629 --> 00:01:14,797
THAT'S SOMETHING
I WILL NEVER BE
27
00:01:14,832 --> 00:01:16,933
I'M ALWAYS HERE
28
00:01:16,968 --> 00:01:21,170
FOR ANYTHING YOU NEED
29
00:01:23,374 --> 00:01:27,176
RAIN OR SHINE
I'LL BE THE ONE
30
00:01:27,211 --> 00:01:31,314
TO SHARE IT ALL
AS LIFE GOES ON
31
00:01:31,349 --> 00:01:34,050
WE SHARE IT ALL
32
00:01:34,085 --> 00:01:38,554
AS LIFE GOES ON
33
00:01:52,608 --> 00:01:54,741
- GOOD MORNING.
[exhaling]
34
00:02:00,416 --> 00:02:01,582
NOBODY.
35
00:02:01,617 --> 00:02:03,557
[laughingly]
ALL RIGHT.
36
00:02:04,787 --> 00:02:08,459
SIX YEARS WITHOUT STEPPING
FOOT INSIDE A SUPERMARKET,
37
00:02:09,124 --> 00:02:11,556
AND MY STREAK CONTINUES.
38
00:02:12,661 --> 00:02:15,270
CREAM CHEESE
TO SPREAD ON BETTY.
39
00:02:16,632 --> 00:02:18,748
HUMUS FOR HELENA.
40
00:02:19,468 --> 00:02:22,536
HELLO, SALSA. I'LL MEET YOU
IN A PLACE I CALL
41
00:02:22,571 --> 00:02:24,708
ROSALITA JUNCTION.
42
00:02:25,341 --> 00:02:26,974
- HEY, CHARLEY,
WHAT'S IN THE BAG?
43
00:02:27,009 --> 00:02:29,376
- CAROL, AH...
44
00:02:29,411 --> 00:02:32,145
HEY, THAT LOOKS
LIKE A FASCINATING BOOK.
45
00:02:32,181 --> 00:02:34,014
- THIS IS
JUST MY HIGH SCHOOL YEARBOOK.
46
00:02:34,049 --> 00:02:36,717
MY 15TH REUNION'S
THIS SATURDAY.
47
00:02:36,752 --> 00:02:38,919
- HOW REALLY,
REALLY INTERESTING.
48
00:02:38,954 --> 00:02:40,721
- I CAN'T BELIEVE
PATRICK'S AWAY FOR THIS.
49
00:02:40,756 --> 00:02:42,890
I MEAN, ALL THOSE PEOPLE
WHO THOUGHT I WAS A LOSER,
50
00:02:42,925 --> 00:02:45,692
FOR ONCE I HAVE
THIS REALLY TERRIFIC BOYFRIEND,
51
00:02:45,728 --> 00:02:47,794
AND I CAN'T BRING HIM ALONG
TO SHOW HIM OFF.
52
00:02:47,830 --> 00:02:49,634
- HE DUMPED YOU ALREADY?
53
00:02:51,300 --> 00:02:53,500
- HE'S VISITING HIS AUNT
IN GEORGIA.
54
00:02:53,535 --> 00:02:55,736
- LET ME GUESS,
SHE'S SICK.
55
00:02:55,771 --> 00:02:57,905
- YES, VERY.
- PFFT.
56
00:03:01,176 --> 00:03:04,177
I KNOW THIS ONE. SHE DIES.
HE GOES TO THE FUNERAL.
57
00:03:04,213 --> 00:03:05,545
HE MEETS
A LOT OF CUTE MOURNERS.
58
00:03:05,581 --> 00:03:07,247
HE'S VERY SYMPATHETIC.
59
00:03:07,283 --> 00:03:11,412
"LEAN ON ME. LEAN ON ME.
LEAN ON ME."
60
00:03:12,288 --> 00:03:13,395
NEXT THING YOU KNOW,
61
00:03:13,422 --> 00:03:15,860
HE'S IN THE BACK OF THE HEARSE
DRAWING THE DRAPES.
62
00:03:17,393 --> 00:03:18,659
OLDEST ONE IN THE BOOK.
63
00:03:18,694 --> 00:03:20,027
- I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING,
CHARLEY.
64
00:03:20,062 --> 00:03:21,728
YOU'RE TRYING
TO MAKE ME CRAZY.
65
00:03:21,764 --> 00:03:23,592
- I'M WAY TOO LATE FOR THAT.
66
00:03:25,467 --> 00:03:27,935
- OH, THAT WAS FUN.
- OH, YEAH.
67
00:03:27,970 --> 00:03:29,970
[panting]
BIG TIME.
68
00:03:30,005 --> 00:03:32,139
JOGGING IS GREAT
WHEN YOU'RE MY SIZE.
69
00:03:32,174 --> 00:03:33,407
YOU GET TO USE
THE CARPOOL LANE.
70
00:03:33,442 --> 00:03:35,309
- [laughing]
71
00:03:35,344 --> 00:03:37,844
- HI, DANNY.
CHARLEY, MEET DANNY.
72
00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:39,279
DANNY AND I
WENT TO SCHOOL TOGETHER.
73
00:03:39,315 --> 00:03:41,315
WE WERE LAB PARTNERS
IN BIOLOGY CLASS.
74
00:03:41,350 --> 00:03:42,983
- CAROL WAS ALWAYS THERE
FOR YOU.
75
00:03:43,018 --> 00:03:45,485
SHE WAS THE SMARTEST,
THE FUNNIEST, THE CLASSIEST...
76
00:03:45,521 --> 00:03:48,455
- OH, GOD, I'VE MISSED YOU.
DANNY, YOU LOOK THIRSTY.
77
00:03:48,490 --> 00:03:49,890
WOULD YOU LIKE
SOMETHING TO DRINK?
78
00:03:49,925 --> 00:03:52,225
- THANKS, BUT I GOTTA RUN.
DON'T FORGET ABOUT SATURDAY.
79
00:03:52,261 --> 00:03:53,560
- I WOULDN'T MISS IT
FOR THE WORLD.
80
00:03:53,595 --> 00:03:54,728
- OKAY. BETTER GET GOING.
81
00:03:54,763 --> 00:03:56,530
I GOTTA STOP
BY TRAFFIC COURT.
82
00:03:56,565 --> 00:03:58,794
I GOT A TICKET
FOR JAY-WADDLING.
83
00:04:01,937 --> 00:04:04,538
- SO HOW WAS YOUR LITTLE RUN?
- OH, IT WAS GREAT.
84
00:04:04,573 --> 00:04:06,073
FOUR LAPS AROUND DANNY
IS A MILE.
85
00:04:06,108 --> 00:04:07,708
[laughing]
86
00:04:08,711 --> 00:04:10,010
- EMILY!
- WHAT?
87
00:04:10,045 --> 00:04:12,346
IT WAS ONE OF DANNY'S JOKES.
I THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY.
88
00:04:12,381 --> 00:04:14,281
- WELL, I SUPPOSE.
89
00:04:14,316 --> 00:04:16,350
IF YOU'RE A FAN
OF THAT KIND OF HUMOR.
90
00:04:17,734 --> 00:04:19,419
- SO, YOU'RE GOING
TO THIS REUNION TOO?
91
00:04:19,455 --> 00:04:20,587
- YEAH, DANNY ASKED ME.
92
00:04:20,622 --> 00:04:23,070
- WHOA, HO HO HO.
SLAM ON THE BRAKES.
93
00:04:23,101 --> 00:04:25,034
YOU'RE GONNA GO OUT
IN PUBLIC WITH THAT GUY?
94
00:04:25,069 --> 00:04:26,569
- YEAH, HAVE YOU GOT
A PROBLEM WITH THAT?
95
00:04:26,604 --> 00:04:28,638
- EMILY. EM-I-LY...
96
00:04:30,459 --> 00:04:32,441
LET ME EXPLAIN
SOMETHING TO YOU.
97
00:04:32,477 --> 00:04:34,911
YOUR IMAGE
IS HOT-CUTE-WESTON-BABE.
98
00:04:34,946 --> 00:04:36,679
NOW YOU GO OUT
WITH THE MICHELIN MAN
99
00:04:36,714 --> 00:04:39,063
AND WHAT HAPPENS
TO THAT IMAGE?
100
00:04:39,350 --> 00:04:40,683
BLOWOUT.
101
00:04:40,718 --> 00:04:42,251
- CHARLEY,
THAT IS VERY INSULTING.
102
00:04:42,287 --> 00:04:43,419
- HEY.
103
00:04:43,454 --> 00:04:45,388
I KNOW
I'M LADLING SOME...
104
00:04:45,423 --> 00:04:47,023
PRETTY HEAVY SOUP HERE,
BUT...
105
00:04:47,058 --> 00:04:48,724
I THINK
IT'S WORTH THE TASTE.
106
00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:51,394
IMAGE IS EVERYTHING.
TAKE ME.
107
00:04:51,429 --> 00:04:53,896
NOW, I GO TO ONE OF MY ELEGANT
MEETING PLACES LIKE
108
00:04:53,932 --> 00:04:55,649
PUMP MASTER WILLY'S.
109
00:04:56,460 --> 00:04:59,068
EVERY MOVE I MAKE
IS DESIGNED TO BUILD UP MY IMAGE
110
00:04:59,103 --> 00:05:01,371
AS THE POPE OF LOVE.
111
00:05:03,174 --> 00:05:04,974
- THE POPE OF LOVE?
112
00:05:05,009 --> 00:05:06,442
- WELL, POPE OF LOVE
THE SECOND.
113
00:05:06,477 --> 00:05:08,978
THE FIRST POPE CHOKED TO DEATH
ON A PLASTIC BEAD AT CLUB MED.
114
00:05:09,013 --> 00:05:11,804
- CHARLEY, I'M NOT LISTENING
ANYMORE OF THIS.
115
00:05:12,917 --> 00:05:15,342
- GUESS THE SOUP
WAS TOO HEAVY FOR HER.
116
00:05:17,789 --> 00:05:19,658
HELLO, BIG IDEA.
117
00:05:20,859 --> 00:05:22,684
PEPERONI PASTIES.
118
00:05:24,929 --> 00:05:26,429
- JUST ONE MORE THING,
EDNA.
119
00:05:26,464 --> 00:05:28,865
DID YOU HEAR ABOUT MARLENE
AND DR. GALLAI
120
00:05:28,900 --> 00:05:30,399
DOWN IN RADIOLOGY?
121
00:05:30,435 --> 00:05:32,902
WHY, HE WANTS TO BREAK IT OFF
AND SHE'S THREATENIN' TO SEND
122
00:05:32,937 --> 00:05:34,637
HIS WIFE X-RAYS
OF THE WHOLE SMUTTY MESS.
123
00:05:34,672 --> 00:05:36,165
WHAT?
124
00:05:37,208 --> 00:05:39,342
- LAVERNE, DO YOU REALIZE EVERY
TIME YOU HAVE A FREE MOMENT
125
00:05:39,377 --> 00:05:42,044
YOU'RE ON THAT PHONE GOSSIPING
ABOUT SOMEBODY IN THIS HOSPITAL?
126
00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:43,846
EVER OCCURRED TO YOU
THAT IT'S NOT RIGHT
127
00:05:43,882 --> 00:05:45,448
THAT YOU--YOU'RE BENDING
THE TRUTH?
128
00:05:45,483 --> 00:05:47,216
- NOW, YOU JUST STOP
RIGHT THERE, DOCTOR,
129
00:05:47,252 --> 00:05:48,751
I DO NOT BEND THE TRUTH.
130
00:05:48,786 --> 00:05:51,220
MY INFO IS CHECKED
AND RECHECKED
131
00:05:51,256 --> 00:05:54,390
THROUGH A CAREFUL
FACT-CHECKING PROCESS.
132
00:05:54,425 --> 00:05:56,523
FLORENCE AND LUANNE
IN MATERNITY.
133
00:05:58,094 --> 00:06:00,196
NOW WHAT I DO
IS JUST HARMLESS CHIT-CHAT
134
00:06:00,231 --> 00:06:01,864
THAT HELPS
BREAK UP THE DAY.
135
00:06:01,900 --> 00:06:03,633
AND HOW 'BOUT BEING USEFUL
FOR ONCE AND HELPIN' ME
136
00:06:03,668 --> 00:06:05,334
CHANGE A LIGHT BULB
IN THE SUPPLY CLOSET?
137
00:06:05,370 --> 00:06:07,995
- FINE. ALL RIGHT.
COME ON. LET'S GET IN HERE.
138
00:06:08,773 --> 00:06:11,507
I-I-I CAN'T--I CAN'T REACH THAT.
I HAVE TO GO TO GET A LADDER.
139
00:06:11,542 --> 00:06:13,542
- WELL, NOW DON'T BOTHER.
I'LL JUST GET ON THIS BOX
140
00:06:13,578 --> 00:06:15,585
AND YOU JUST HOLD ME STEADY,
BUT BE CAREFUL.
141
00:06:15,596 --> 00:06:16,992
[laughing]
142
00:06:17,015 --> 00:06:18,147
OH, DOCTOR.
143
00:06:18,174 --> 00:06:19,851
HOO HOO, DOCTOR!
144
00:06:19,898 --> 00:06:20,986
[laughing]
145
00:06:21,019 --> 00:06:23,586
- COME ON, LAVERNE.
STOP SQUIRMING.
146
00:06:23,621 --> 00:06:27,423
I CAN'T GET A HOLD OF YOU.
- [Laverne laughing]
147
00:06:27,458 --> 00:06:29,981
- STOP. STOP THAT NOW.
YOU WANTED TO DO IT?
148
00:06:30,004 --> 00:06:31,523
LET'S DO IT.
149
00:06:33,264 --> 00:06:35,031
- OH, MY GOODNESS.
150
00:06:35,066 --> 00:06:37,633
WAIT UNTIL LUANNE
HEARS ABOUT THIS.
151
00:06:39,570 --> 00:06:42,038
- OKAY, HERE'S THE SCOOP.
EVERYONE'S COMING.
152
00:06:42,073 --> 00:06:43,839
ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE.
153
00:06:43,875 --> 00:06:45,942
- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
- MY HIGH SCHOOL REUNION.
154
00:06:45,977 --> 00:06:48,244
IT'S GOING TO BE MOBBED.
DO YOU KNOW WHO'S COMING?
155
00:06:48,279 --> 00:06:50,939
DIDI PORCHNICK
IS GOING TO BE THERE.
156
00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:54,716
THIS FAMILY GOES THROUGH
A LOT OF GROCERIES.
157
00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:58,549
ESPECIALLY THE SPREADS.
158
00:06:59,290 --> 00:07:01,146
[phone ringing]
- I'LL GET IT.
159
00:07:02,165 --> 00:07:03,447
HELLO?
160
00:07:03,950 --> 00:07:06,544
TUCKER WILSON?
- [mouthing name]
161
00:07:06,567 --> 00:07:09,144
- YEAH, YEAH,
IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME.
162
00:07:09,179 --> 00:07:11,146
OH, MOUNT HOLYOKE,
THEN TO EUROPE,
163
00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:14,000
THEN TO THE REST OF THE WORLD,
THEN BACK TO FLORIDA.
164
00:07:15,753 --> 00:07:17,919
YEAH, YEAH, SHE'S STILL LIVING
AT THE HOUSE.
165
00:07:19,957 --> 00:07:21,423
[giggling]
YEAH, I KNOW, I KNOW.
166
00:07:21,458 --> 00:07:24,029
IT IS, ISN'T IT?
[laughing]
167
00:07:25,295 --> 00:07:27,506
YEAH, I'D LOVE TO SEE YOU!
168
00:07:27,998 --> 00:07:30,806
OH, TUCKER, WAIT. YOU'RE
JUST IN TOWN FOR THIS WEEKEND?
169
00:07:31,769 --> 00:07:33,001
WISH YOU'D CALLED ME EARLIER.
170
00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:35,077
I ALREADY HAVE A DATE
FOR TOMORROW NIGHT.
171
00:07:35,706 --> 00:07:38,009
WILL YOU CALL ME
NEXT TIME YOU'RE IN TOWN?
172
00:07:38,675 --> 00:07:39,856
OKAY.
173
00:07:40,377 --> 00:07:41,507
BYE.
174
00:07:42,713 --> 00:07:45,080
- TUCKER WILSON?
175
00:07:45,115 --> 00:07:47,649
YOU TURNED DOWN
TUCKER WILSON?
176
00:07:47,684 --> 00:07:49,017
YOU WERE CRAZY ABOUT HIM.
177
00:07:49,052 --> 00:07:52,587
- I KNOW, CAROL.
- MY GOD, HE'S GORGEOUS.
178
00:07:52,623 --> 00:07:54,923
I MEAN, IF KEVIN COSTNER
HAD A CHILD
179
00:07:54,958 --> 00:07:57,438
WITH TOM CRUISE...
180
00:07:58,364 --> 00:08:00,571
- THEY'D BE
IN THE ENQUIRER.
181
00:08:02,166 --> 00:08:03,965
- YOU KNOW, I HAVE
TO HAND IT TO YOU, EMILY.
182
00:08:04,001 --> 00:08:05,567
YOU HAVE CHARACTER.
183
00:08:05,602 --> 00:08:07,803
I MEAN, YOU TURNED DOWN
TUCKER WILSON,
184
00:08:07,838 --> 00:08:10,605
MR. EVERYTHING
FOR AN ORDINARY GUY.
185
00:08:10,641 --> 00:08:12,240
- WELL, IT'S JUST NOT RIGHT
TO BREAK A DATE.
186
00:08:12,276 --> 00:08:15,277
- I AM SO IMPRESSED
WITH YOUR INTEGRITY,
187
00:08:15,312 --> 00:08:17,546
AND MIGHT I SAY
YOUR METTLE.
188
00:08:17,581 --> 00:08:20,148
- CAROL, LET'S JUST DROP IT.
- I MEAN, YOU COULD'VE GONE OUT
189
00:08:20,184 --> 00:08:21,850
WITH TUCKER WILSON.
190
00:08:21,885 --> 00:08:24,986
- I KNOW.
- YET YOU CHOSE A PERFECTLY NICE
191
00:08:25,022 --> 00:08:27,956
BUT SOMEWHAT ROTUND ACCOUNTANT.
- CAROL, GIVE IT A REST!
192
00:08:27,991 --> 00:08:29,424
IT'S ENOUGH!
193
00:08:29,851 --> 00:08:31,904
- WHAT DID I SAY?
194
00:08:33,697 --> 00:08:36,198
EMILY? EMILY?
195
00:08:36,233 --> 00:08:37,676
- HELLO?
196
00:08:44,474 --> 00:08:45,756
NOBODY.
197
00:08:46,789 --> 00:08:48,767
ALL RIGHT.
198
00:08:49,346 --> 00:08:51,903
LIKE TAKING CANDY
FROM A BABY.
199
00:08:53,495 --> 00:08:55,923
WAIT A MINUTE.
IT'S TOO EASY.
200
00:08:57,955 --> 00:08:59,711
IT'S A TRAP.
201
00:09:02,392 --> 00:09:05,560
- HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY,
WHOA.
202
00:09:05,596 --> 00:09:07,295
- HEY, PERRY, WHAT'S UP?
203
00:09:07,331 --> 00:09:10,832
- HEY, HEY, HEY,
BABOOM, BABOOM. BABOOM!
204
00:09:10,868 --> 00:09:14,202
OOH, AH.
205
00:09:14,238 --> 00:09:17,239
- WHAT? HA!
WHAT'S SO FUNNY?
206
00:09:18,508 --> 00:09:20,308
- [whistling,
clicking tongue]
207
00:09:20,344 --> 00:09:23,678
[groaning]
208
00:09:23,714 --> 00:09:25,881
[laughing]
209
00:09:25,916 --> 00:09:27,816
- PERRY, WHAT THE HELL-
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?
210
00:09:27,851 --> 00:09:29,651
- AH, WELL,
[laughing]
211
00:09:29,686 --> 00:09:31,152
BOOM.
212
00:09:31,188 --> 00:09:33,288
[laughing]
- HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY?
213
00:09:33,323 --> 00:09:34,623
- HMM, HO, HO, HO, HO.
214
00:09:34,658 --> 00:09:36,725
- WOULD YOU QUIT MAKING NOISES
AND SAY SOMETHING?
215
00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:39,628
- HUBBA, HUBBA,
HUBBA, HUBBA.
216
00:09:39,663 --> 00:09:42,697
WOOF, WOOF, I-I-I,
SHH, SHH.
217
00:09:42,733 --> 00:09:43,899
[clicking tongue]
218
00:09:45,002 --> 00:09:47,369
[barking]
HMM, BABOOM!
219
00:09:47,404 --> 00:09:48,904
[laughing]
220
00:09:54,578 --> 00:09:56,077
[birds chirping]
221
00:10:00,217 --> 00:10:01,661
- [exhaling]
222
00:10:07,057 --> 00:10:09,124
- EMILY, I'VE FOUND IT.
223
00:10:09,159 --> 00:10:11,706
THIS WOULD BE PERFECT
FOR YOU.
224
00:10:13,297 --> 00:10:14,863
- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
225
00:10:14,898 --> 00:10:16,965
IT'S ONE OF YOUR BRIDESMAIDS'
DRESS FROM YOUR WEDDING.
226
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:19,234
- YEAH, I WAS FINALLY ABLE
TO GET MY HUSBAND'S FINGERPRINTS
227
00:10:19,269 --> 00:10:20,468
OFF OF IT.
228
00:10:25,142 --> 00:10:28,710
- CAROL, I DON'T THINK
I CAN GO THROUGH WITH THIS DATE.
229
00:10:28,745 --> 00:10:29,911
- WHY NOT?
230
00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:33,575
- I'M NOT THE WONDERFUL PERSON
YOU THINK I AM.
231
00:10:34,318 --> 00:10:35,784
I HAVE A PROBLEM
WITH DANNY BEING SO FAT.
232
00:10:35,819 --> 00:10:38,033
OKAY? THERE. I SAID IT.
IT'S OUT.
233
00:10:38,121 --> 00:10:40,666
GOD, I HATE MYSELF
FOR THINKING THIS WAY.
234
00:10:40,791 --> 00:10:43,091
- EMILY, HOW CAN YOU DO THIS
TO ME?
235
00:10:43,126 --> 00:10:45,860
I JUST WASTED
MY ENTIRE THERAPY SESSION
236
00:10:45,896 --> 00:10:48,478
TELLING SANDY
WHAT A TOGETHER PERSON YOU ARE.
237
00:10:49,666 --> 00:10:51,933
- WHY DID THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN?
WHY DID I EVEN SAY I'D GO
238
00:10:51,969 --> 00:10:53,538
IN THE FIRST PLACE?
239
00:10:53,619 --> 00:10:56,682
- EMILY, YOU'RE AN ADULT.
YOU'VE MADE A COMMITMENT.
240
00:10:57,874 --> 00:10:59,574
- YEAH, I SUPPOSE
IF I BROKE THE DATE,
241
00:10:59,609 --> 00:11:02,628
THAT'D BE A REALLY SHALLOW
AND JERKY THING TO DO, HUH?
242
00:11:03,914 --> 00:11:06,228
- THAT'S NOT FOR ME
TO JUDGE.
243
00:11:09,116 --> 00:11:13,285
ALL I CAN TELL YOU IS YOU'RE
ENTITLED TO YOUR FEELINGS.
244
00:11:15,356 --> 00:11:18,323
EVEN IF THEY ARE
SHALLOW AND JERKY.
245
00:11:18,359 --> 00:11:20,993
[doorbell ringing]
246
00:11:21,028 --> 00:11:22,836
- [exhaling]
247
00:11:24,331 --> 00:11:26,265
- LOOK, I KNOW IT'S BAD LUCK
TO SEE YOUR DATE
248
00:11:26,300 --> 00:11:27,933
BEFORE THE DATE,
BUT I WAS GOING FOR A JOG
249
00:11:27,968 --> 00:11:29,801
AND I THOUGHT I'D SEE
IF YOU WANTED TO JOIN ME.
250
00:11:29,837 --> 00:11:31,336
- WELL, I'M
NOT REALLY DRESSED FOR--
251
00:11:31,372 --> 00:11:33,171
- WELL, THEN YOU GET DRESSED.
I'LL GET STARTED,
252
00:11:33,207 --> 00:11:35,240
AND BY THE TIME YOU
PUT ON YOUR SWEATS, GRAB A TOWEL
253
00:11:35,276 --> 00:11:36,475
AND LACE UP
YOUR RUNNING SHOES,
254
00:11:36,510 --> 00:11:38,878
I JUST MIGHT BE REACHING
THE END OF YOUR DRIVEWAY.
255
00:11:39,213 --> 00:11:41,446
- [giggling]
LOOK, MAYBE SOME OTHER TIME.
256
00:11:41,482 --> 00:11:43,431
- OKAY.
I'LL SEE YOU TONIGHT.
257
00:11:44,151 --> 00:11:46,218
- I GUESS YOU'RE REALLY LOOKING
FORWARD TO IT, HUH?
258
00:11:46,253 --> 00:11:48,220
- WHO KNOWS? YOU NEVER CAN TELL
WITH REUNIONS.
259
00:11:48,255 --> 00:11:49,588
SOMETIMES
YOU END UP SEEING PEOPLE
260
00:11:49,623 --> 00:11:50,822
YOU REALLY
DON'T WANNA SEE.
261
00:11:50,858 --> 00:11:52,357
- WELL, HEY, LOOK,
IF YOU DON'T WANNA GO,
262
00:11:52,393 --> 00:11:54,089
THAT'S OKAY WITH ME.
- HEY, HEY, HEY, WE HAVE A DATE.
263
00:11:54,128 --> 00:11:57,280
I DON'T BREAK DATES.
- THAT'S VERY...
264
00:11:57,659 --> 00:11:59,762
NOT SHALLOW
AND JERKY OF YOU.
265
00:12:00,028 --> 00:12:02,684
- YOU HAVE AN ODD WAY
OF PHRASING THINGS, EMILY.
266
00:12:03,231 --> 00:12:05,615
I'LL PICK YOU UP AT 7:00.
- YEAH, SURE.
267
00:12:05,967 --> 00:12:08,434
- YOU OKAY?
- YEAH, YEAH, I'M FINE.
268
00:12:17,218 --> 00:12:19,118
- LAVERNE.
- HEY, THERESA.
269
00:12:19,153 --> 00:12:21,245
- I JUST HAD TO STOP BY
AND SEE YOU.
270
00:12:21,455 --> 00:12:24,089
WHY HAVE YOU BEEN KEEPING IT
FROM ME?
271
00:12:24,125 --> 00:12:27,326
- WHAT?
-
YOU KNOW
272
00:12:27,361 --> 00:12:29,662
-
NO, I DON'T
273
00:12:29,697 --> 00:12:32,264
- ABOUT YOU AND THE DOCTOR
HAVING AN AFFAIR
274
00:12:32,300 --> 00:12:35,167
IN THE SUPPLY CLOSET
275
00:12:35,203 --> 00:12:38,170
-
OH, MY GOD
276
00:12:38,206 --> 00:12:39,839
WHERE IN THE HELL
DID YOU HEAR THAT?
277
00:12:39,874 --> 00:12:41,640
- IT IS
ALL OVER THE HOSPITAL.
278
00:12:41,676 --> 00:12:43,976
- WELL, IT IS ABSOLUTELY,
POSITIVELY, COMPLETELY,
279
00:12:44,011 --> 00:12:46,278
TOTALLY AND WHOLLY UNTRUE.
- WELL, IT CAN'T BE.
280
00:12:46,314 --> 00:12:48,047
IT'S BEEN THROUGH
THE FACT-CHECKING PROCESS
281
00:12:48,082 --> 00:12:50,182
WITH FLORENCE AND LUANNE
IN MATERNITY.
282
00:12:50,218 --> 00:12:52,918
HEY, HEY, THEY TOLD ME
I COULD RUN WITH IT.
283
00:12:52,954 --> 00:12:55,154
- WHY, YOU KEEP ON A-RUNNIN'
284
00:12:55,189 --> 00:12:57,389
AND DON'T STOP TILL YOU REACH
THE SCRUB CLOSET
285
00:12:57,425 --> 00:13:00,793
AND WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT
WITH SOAP. NOW GET!
286
00:13:06,774 --> 00:13:08,507
- LAVERNE, YOU'RE
WHITE AS A GHOST?
287
00:13:08,542 --> 00:13:11,043
- I JUST-I-I JUST FOUND OUT
THEY IS SOME
288
00:13:11,078 --> 00:13:13,112
HORRIBLE GOSSIP
GOIN' AROUND ABOUT ME.
289
00:13:13,147 --> 00:13:15,023
- WELL, I HATE TO SAY IT,
BUT WHAT GOES AROUND,
290
00:13:15,054 --> 00:13:16,209
COMES AROUND.
291
00:13:16,884 --> 00:13:19,504
SO WHAT IS THIS HORRIBLE
PIECE OF GOSSIP?
292
00:13:20,154 --> 00:13:21,386
- YOU AND I
ARE HAVIN' AN AFFAIR.
293
00:13:21,422 --> 00:13:22,888
WE'RE DOIN' IT
IN THE SUPPLY CLOSET.
294
00:13:25,259 --> 00:13:27,926
- [both yelling]
295
00:13:27,962 --> 00:13:29,962
296
00:13:35,035 --> 00:13:38,704
- [laughs]
297
00:13:38,739 --> 00:13:42,407
- I'M TELLING YOU, JENNIFER,
I REALLY DO HAVE A BOYFRIEND.
298
00:13:42,443 --> 00:13:45,410
- THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID
ALL THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL.
299
00:13:45,446 --> 00:13:47,679
- LOOK, NOT ONLY
IS HE HOLDING MY HAND,
300
00:13:47,715 --> 00:13:51,425
HE'S HOLDING A NEWSPAPER
WITH SUNDAY'S DATE ON IT.
301
00:13:51,952 --> 00:13:54,953
- THAT STILL DOESN'T PROVE
HE'S YOUR BOYFRIEND.
302
00:13:54,989 --> 00:13:56,355
- WHY WOULD I GO
TO THE TROUBLE
303
00:13:56,390 --> 00:13:58,590
OF CARRYING THIS PHOTO AROUND
IF IT WASN'T REAL?
304
00:13:58,626 --> 00:14:01,026
- THAT'S WHAT YOU DID
ALL THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL.
305
00:14:04,331 --> 00:14:06,632
- LOOK, A FULL MOON.
- OH, YEAH.
306
00:14:06,667 --> 00:14:08,167
IT REALLY IS BEAUTIFUL
UP HERE.
307
00:14:08,202 --> 00:14:10,769
- WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?
- IT'S MY FAULT WE WERE LATE.
308
00:14:10,805 --> 00:14:12,404
I SPENT AN HOUR
LOOKING FOR MY DRESS SHOES
309
00:14:12,439 --> 00:14:14,773
UNTIL I REALIZED
I WAS WEARING THEM. HELLO.
310
00:14:14,809 --> 00:14:16,575
[chuckling]
NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
311
00:14:16,610 --> 00:14:18,110
HAVE TO GET
SOMETHING TO EAT.
312
00:14:18,145 --> 00:14:19,511
ACTUALLY,
I'M GOOD THROUGH JULY,
313
00:14:19,547 --> 00:14:22,748
BUT, UH, I AM GUESSING
THERE'S CHEESE IN THOSE TACOS.
314
00:14:22,783 --> 00:14:24,294
EXCUSE ME.
315
00:14:25,288 --> 00:14:27,052
- YOU KNOW, CAROL,
I KNOW THAT I SAID
316
00:14:27,087 --> 00:14:28,534
THAT I COULDN'T GO
THROUGH WITH THIS DATE,
317
00:14:28,561 --> 00:14:30,171
BUT I'M ACTUALLY HAVING
A GOOD TIME.
318
00:14:30,202 --> 00:14:31,311
- IT SURE LOOKS LIKE IT.
319
00:14:31,343 --> 00:14:33,000
- OH, HE WAS SO SWEET
WHEN HE PICKED ME UP.
320
00:14:33,028 --> 00:14:35,262
HE BROUGHT ME FLOWERS AND HE
REMEMBERED MY FAVORITE SONG,
321
00:14:35,297 --> 00:14:36,604
AND PLAYED IT
ON THE WAY OVER IN HIS CAR.
322
00:14:36,641 --> 00:14:38,407
I MEAN, IT'S
LIKE AN OLD-FASHIONED DATE.
323
00:14:38,442 --> 00:14:40,576
- OH, IT SOUNDS WONDERFUL.
- YEAH.
324
00:14:40,611 --> 00:14:42,578
- OH, NO. HERE COMES
EDDIE MARTIN.
325
00:14:42,613 --> 00:14:44,780
THE MEANEST, NASTIEST JERK
IN HIGH SCHOOL.
326
00:14:44,815 --> 00:14:46,615
I VOWED
IF I EVER SAW HIM AGAIN,
327
00:14:46,651 --> 00:14:49,118
I WOULDN'T GIVE HIM
THE TIME OF DAY.
328
00:14:49,153 --> 00:14:53,555
- CAROL WESTON? HA.
YOU LOOK GORGEOUS.
329
00:14:53,591 --> 00:14:55,524
- 9:45.
330
00:14:59,363 --> 00:15:00,496
- [giggling]
331
00:15:00,531 --> 00:15:02,197
BOY, YOU SURE ARE
A GOOD DANCER.
332
00:15:02,233 --> 00:15:04,400
- AH...NOT REALLY.
333
00:15:04,435 --> 00:15:06,001
ACTUALLY,
I'M JUST TRYING TO...
334
00:15:06,037 --> 00:15:07,883
WORK THE BRIEFS
OUT OF MY BUTT.
335
00:15:07,908 --> 00:15:09,908
- [giggling]
336
00:15:14,963 --> 00:15:17,130
I REALLY DO MEAN IT.
YOU ARE A GOOD DANCER.
337
00:15:17,165 --> 00:15:18,331
- YEAH, RIGHT.
338
00:15:18,367 --> 00:15:20,667
I WON A PRIZE ONCE
FOR BEST COUPLE...
339
00:15:20,702 --> 00:15:23,803
AND I WAS BY MYSELF.
[chuckling]
340
00:15:23,839 --> 00:15:26,907
- DANNY, WHY DO YOU ALWAYS
PUT YOURSELF DOWN?
341
00:15:26,942 --> 00:15:29,976
- OH...IT'S EASIER
THAN LIFTING MYSELF UP.
342
00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:31,144
[laughing]
343
00:15:31,179 --> 00:15:32,345
- COME ON.
LET'S JUST DANCE.
344
00:15:32,381 --> 00:15:33,513
- SURE.
LOOK, EVERYBODY.
345
00:15:33,549 --> 00:15:36,683
I'M A ONE-MAN CONGA LINE.
[yelling]
346
00:15:38,937 --> 00:15:41,719
- I DO HAVE A BOYFRIEND!
347
00:15:42,591 --> 00:15:43,857
I DON'T CARE
IF I WAS VOTED
348
00:15:43,892 --> 00:15:45,959
"MOST LIKELY TO DRIVE MEN
INTO THE PRIESTHOOD."
349
00:15:45,994 --> 00:15:48,395
YOU WERE VOTED "MOST LIKELY
TO HAVE ELECTROLYSIS"
350
00:15:48,430 --> 00:15:50,444
AND, OBVIOUSLY,
YOU DIDN'T!
351
00:15:52,734 --> 00:15:55,869
THAT FELT GOOD.
[laughing]
352
00:15:57,639 --> 00:15:59,339
- HEY, EDDIE,
YOU REMEMBER DANNY.
353
00:15:59,374 --> 00:16:01,708
- HEY, PAL, DO ME A FAVOR.
LIFT THAT END OF THE TABLE,
354
00:16:01,743 --> 00:16:05,312
I'LL JUST STAND HERE
AND UNHINGE MY JAW. MMM.
355
00:16:05,347 --> 00:16:07,047
- COME ON, DANNY.
THAT'S ENOUGH JOKES, OKAY?
356
00:16:07,082 --> 00:16:09,482
- SURE.
- IS THAT YOUR DATE?
357
00:16:09,518 --> 00:16:11,451
- HE'S ACTUALLY
VERY SWEET. I--
358
00:16:11,486 --> 00:16:13,320
- HEY, IF THAT GRAVY BOWL
GETS STUCK IN MY THROAT,
359
00:16:13,355 --> 00:16:14,721
I HOPE YOU KNOW
THE HEIMLICH.
360
00:16:14,756 --> 00:16:16,456
[choking, laughing]
- [all laughing]
361
00:16:16,491 --> 00:16:21,061
- WILL YOU CUT IT OUT, DANNY?
- OH, LOOK, HOW THOUGHTFUL...
362
00:16:21,096 --> 00:16:25,298
AN AFTER-DINNER MINT.
- [all laughing]
363
00:16:25,334 --> 00:16:27,267
- TAKE ME HOME.
- WHAT?
364
00:16:27,302 --> 00:16:29,779
- I WANNA GO HOME. NOW!
365
00:16:39,881 --> 00:16:42,649
- GUESS I'LL BE GOING.
- FINE.
366
00:16:46,688 --> 00:16:48,588
- BEFORE I GO, COULD YOU JUST
TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED?
367
00:16:48,624 --> 00:16:50,390
I THOUGHT WE WERE HAVING
A GREAT TIME.
368
00:16:50,425 --> 00:16:52,659
- "I'M A ONE-MAN
CONGA LINE.
369
00:16:52,694 --> 00:16:54,227
"HEY, I'LL JUST
PICK UP THE TABLE.
370
00:16:54,262 --> 00:16:56,129
I'LL UNHINGE MY JAW!
HELLO."
371
00:16:56,164 --> 00:16:57,831
- THAT'S IT?
THE FAT JOKES?
372
00:16:57,866 --> 00:16:59,833
- THE FAT JOKES,
THE PUTDOWNS, YES.
373
00:16:59,868 --> 00:17:01,434
- EMILY, I ALWAYS DO
THOSE KINDS OF JOKES.
374
00:17:01,470 --> 00:17:03,269
HOW COME THEY
NEVER BOTHERED YOU BEFORE?
375
00:17:03,305 --> 00:17:06,149
- I DON'T KNOW.
- WELL, I THINK I DO.
376
00:17:06,475 --> 00:17:08,642
YOU WERE EMBARRASSED
TO BE ON A DATE WITH A FAT GUY.
377
00:17:08,677 --> 00:17:11,159
- THAT'S NOT TRUE.
- IT IS TRUE.
378
00:17:11,346 --> 00:17:12,846
YOU THINK
I HAVEN'T SEEN THIS BEFORE?
379
00:17:12,881 --> 00:17:14,748
YOU WERE ASHAMED
TO BE SEEN WITH ME.
380
00:17:14,783 --> 00:17:16,716
- LOOK, I'LL ADMIT
THAT I HAD SECOND THOUGHTS
381
00:17:16,752 --> 00:17:18,218
ABOUT GOING TO THE PARTY
WITH YOU, YES.
382
00:17:18,253 --> 00:17:19,753
BUT BY THE TIME
WE'D GOTTEN THERE,
383
00:17:19,788 --> 00:17:21,745
I'D FORGOTTEN
ALL ABOUT THAT.
384
00:17:21,823 --> 00:17:24,239
I WAS HAPPY
JUST BEING WITH YOU.
385
00:17:24,493 --> 00:17:26,726
UNTIL YOU STARTED MAKING A JERK
OUT OF YOURSELF.
386
00:17:26,762 --> 00:17:28,328
- EMILY,
I LEARNED A LONG TIME AGO
387
00:17:28,363 --> 00:17:31,031
THAT IF YOU'RE FAT AND FUNNY,
PEOPLE LIKE HAVING YOU AROUND.
388
00:17:31,066 --> 00:17:33,400
YOU'RE A GREAT GUY,
BUT IF YOU'RE NOT FUNNY,
389
00:17:33,435 --> 00:17:35,138
THEN ALL YOU ARE IS FAT.
390
00:17:35,758 --> 00:17:37,718
- DANNY,
YOU ARE A GREAT GUY.
391
00:17:37,927 --> 00:17:40,127
YOU DON'T HAVE TO PROVE IT
WITH FAT JOKES.
392
00:17:40,163 --> 00:17:41,796
- HOLD IT.
YOU'RE SAYING
393
00:17:41,831 --> 00:17:44,393
YOU'D ACTUALLY
GO OUT WITH A GUY LIKE ME?
394
00:17:45,735 --> 00:17:48,936
- YES. I DID.
AND I WOULD.
395
00:17:48,971 --> 00:17:50,471
- STARTING NOW?
- WHY NOT?
396
00:17:50,506 --> 00:17:53,374
- OKAY...
HOW'D YOU LIKE TO GO
397
00:17:53,409 --> 00:17:55,142
AND GET A CUP OF COFFEE
AT SALLY'S DINER?
398
00:17:55,178 --> 00:17:57,311
- I'D LOVE TO.
- GREAT.
399
00:17:57,346 --> 00:17:58,746
THEY HAVE
THIS SPECIAL DEAL WITH ME.
400
00:17:58,781 --> 00:18:00,381
ALL I CAN EAT: $600.
401
00:18:00,416 --> 00:18:01,836
AND--
402
00:18:03,319 --> 00:18:04,811
START AGAIN.
403
00:18:05,421 --> 00:18:07,149
HOW'D YOU LIKE TO GO
TO SALLY'S?
404
00:18:08,057 --> 00:18:10,024
- I'D LOVE TO.
- GREAT.
405
00:18:10,059 --> 00:18:11,358
- [giggling]
406
00:18:11,394 --> 00:18:13,394
407
00:18:15,898 --> 00:18:17,468
[birds chirping]
408
00:18:17,504 --> 00:18:20,081
[chattering]
409
00:18:20,113 --> 00:18:21,546
- I DON'T THINK
IT WAS SUCH A GOOD IDEA
410
00:18:21,581 --> 00:18:23,314
US HAVIN' LUNCH TOGETHER
WHAT WITH THIS RUMOR
411
00:18:23,350 --> 00:18:25,150
ABOUT US HAVIN' AN AFFAIR
GOIN' AROUND.
412
00:18:25,185 --> 00:18:27,018
I FEEL LIKE THERE'S
AN ENTIRE ROOM FULL OF PEOPLE
413
00:18:27,054 --> 00:18:28,920
TRYIN' TO PICTURE US
DOING IT TOGETHER.
414
00:18:28,955 --> 00:18:30,355
- LAVERNE, I THINK
YOUR IMAGINATION
415
00:18:30,390 --> 00:18:31,796
IS WORKING OVERTIME.
416
00:18:36,797 --> 00:18:38,797
OH, LET'S--LET'S--LET'S
JUST IGNORE THEM
417
00:18:38,832 --> 00:18:41,545
AND JUST HAVE LUNCH, OKAY?
- UH-HUH.
418
00:18:42,669 --> 00:18:44,510
OH, LORDY. QUICK.
PUT THAT JELL-O BACK.
419
00:18:44,805 --> 00:18:47,018
- WHY?
- 'CAUSE I HAVE A JELL-O.
420
00:18:47,107 --> 00:18:49,207
IF WE'RE BOTH HAVIN' JELL-O,
IT'D LOOK LIKE WE'VE BEEN
421
00:18:49,242 --> 00:18:50,842
WIGGLIN' AROUND
IN THE WARM SUN A-SO MUCH,
422
00:18:50,877 --> 00:18:52,725
WE'RE STARTIN' TO EAT
THE SAME FOOD.
423
00:18:53,180 --> 00:18:55,346
- LAVERNE, NOW I THINK
YOU'RE GETTING PARANOID.
424
00:18:55,382 --> 00:18:57,215
- WELL...
- HEY, HEY.
425
00:18:57,250 --> 00:18:59,464
HEY.
426
00:19:00,887 --> 00:19:03,488
- I'LL HAVE BREAD PUDDING.
I THINK I'LL HAVE BREAD PUDDING.
427
00:19:04,658 --> 00:19:06,624
- OKAY. HERE'S THE PLAN.
428
00:19:06,660 --> 00:19:08,760
WE MAKE A BREAK
FOR SEPARATE TABLES
429
00:19:08,795 --> 00:19:11,196
AND WE DON'T MAKE EYE CONTACT
AT ALL, UNDERSTAND?
430
00:19:11,231 --> 00:19:13,631
NOW, WHEN I GIVE THE SIGNAL,
HE HIGHTAIL IT.
431
00:19:13,667 --> 00:19:15,033
CRACKERS AND CHEESE.
432
00:19:15,068 --> 00:19:16,887
- NO, I DON'T WANT ANY.
THANKS.
433
00:19:17,571 --> 00:19:19,061
- NO, THAT'S THE SIGNAL.
434
00:19:19,306 --> 00:19:20,939
- "CRACKERS AND CHEESE"
IS THE SIGNAL?
435
00:19:20,974 --> 00:19:22,240
IT'S A DUMB SIGNAL.
436
00:19:22,275 --> 00:19:24,409
- JUST GO.
WE'LL HONE THE SIGNAL LATER.
437
00:19:24,444 --> 00:19:25,810
- NO, NO, NO, NO, LOOK.
438
00:19:25,846 --> 00:19:28,413
WE ARE JUST GONNA SIT DOWN
AND EAT LUNCH
439
00:19:28,448 --> 00:19:30,758
LIKE TWO NORMAL PEOPLE...
440
00:19:31,685 --> 00:19:33,323
SO TO SPEAK.
441
00:19:36,089 --> 00:19:37,691
- BREAD AND BUTTER.
442
00:19:39,292 --> 00:19:40,647
- PLEASE.
443
00:19:40,761 --> 00:19:42,042
SIT.
444
00:19:42,729 --> 00:19:44,579
LAVERNE, SIT.
445
00:19:45,265 --> 00:19:46,481
THANK YOU.
446
00:19:47,267 --> 00:19:49,367
NOW JUST--JUST--LET'S
JUST FORGET ABOUT EVERYBODY.
447
00:19:49,402 --> 00:19:51,136
- OKAY. FINE.
BUT TRY NOT TO LOOK
448
00:19:51,171 --> 00:19:52,771
LIKE YOU'RE HAPPY
TO BE WITH ME.
449
00:19:54,975 --> 00:19:56,587
- I'LL MAKE AN EFFORT.
450
00:19:58,100 --> 00:20:00,530
- AH!
- WHAT?
451
00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:03,256
- WE'RE EATIN' OUR VEGGIES
AT THE SAME TIME.
452
00:20:04,151 --> 00:20:05,617
CRACKERS AND CHEESE.
- NO! THAT'S IT.
453
00:20:05,652 --> 00:20:07,452
NO, NO, THERE'S NO MORE
"CRACKERS AND CHEESE."
454
00:20:07,487 --> 00:20:09,576
THIS IS
THE ONLY EMPTY TABLE.
455
00:20:10,056 --> 00:20:11,321
- DOCTOR...
456
00:20:11,992 --> 00:20:14,295
YOUR HAND
IS TOUCHING MY ARM.
457
00:20:17,397 --> 00:20:20,081
- MAYBE I SHOULD TAKE IT OFF.
- NO, DON'T DO THAT.
458
00:20:20,588 --> 00:20:22,467
- I MEAN, WHAT,
THEN I SHOULD LEAVE IT THERE?
459
00:20:22,502 --> 00:20:24,016
- NO, DON'T DO THAT EITHER.
460
00:20:24,604 --> 00:20:27,405
I KNOW. PRETEND THAT BIG VEIN
IN YOUR FOREHEAD
461
00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:29,440
FINALLY POPPED AND WHILE YOU'RE
CLUTCHIN' YOUR HEAD
462
00:20:29,476 --> 00:20:31,342
AND SCREAMIN' IN PAIN,
I'LL MAKE A RUN FOR IT.
463
00:20:31,378 --> 00:20:34,112
I'LL RENT ME A BOAT AND PADDLE
THEM 80 MILES TO CUBA.
464
00:20:34,147 --> 00:20:36,181
WELL, CRACKERS AND CHEESE
TO YOU,
465
00:20:36,216 --> 00:20:38,483
AND IF WE EVER MEET AGAIN,
I'M CONSUELA.
466
00:20:38,518 --> 00:20:40,218
- NO. THAT'S IT.
THAT'S IT. I'VE HAD ENOUGH.
467
00:20:40,253 --> 00:20:41,553
GONNA PUT A STOP
TO THIS RIGHT NOW.
468
00:20:41,588 --> 00:20:43,655
EVERYBODY, EXCUSE ME.
MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION?
469
00:20:43,690 --> 00:20:45,824
- NO, DOCTOR. I STARTED THIS.
- NO, I--LISTEN,
470
00:20:45,859 --> 00:20:47,592
I THINK YOU ALL SHOULD KNOW--
- I'LL FINISH IT.
471
00:20:47,627 --> 00:20:50,728
JUST SIT DOWN, DOCTOR.
NOW, LISTEN UP, EVERYBODY.
472
00:20:50,764 --> 00:20:53,231
- IT'S OBVIOUS WHO WEARS
THE PANTS IN THAT RELATIONSHIP.
473
00:20:53,266 --> 00:20:55,099
- [both giggling]
474
00:20:55,135 --> 00:20:56,868
- I HAVE
A CONFESSION TO MAKE.
475
00:20:56,903 --> 00:20:59,370
- [both gasping]
- IT'S NOT WHAT YOU'RE THINKIN',
476
00:20:59,406 --> 00:21:01,239
SO YOU CAN JUST SWAB
THEM NASTY LITTLE THOUGHTS
477
00:21:01,274 --> 00:21:02,884
RIGHT OUT OF YOUR HEADS.
478
00:21:03,276 --> 00:21:05,343
NOW, WHAT WENT ON
BEHIND THAT STOREROOM DOOR
479
00:21:05,378 --> 00:21:08,379
WAS SIMPLY DR. WESTON
A-HELPIN' ME CHANGE A LIGHT BULB.
480
00:21:08,415 --> 00:21:09,848
BUT YOU COULDN'T WAIT
TO TURN IT
481
00:21:09,883 --> 00:21:12,884
INTO A SMARMY LITTLE STORY,
BESMIRCHIN' MY REPUTATION
482
00:21:12,919 --> 00:21:16,154
AND THE REPUTATION OF THE
FINEST PEDIATRICIAN IN MIAMI.
483
00:21:16,189 --> 00:21:18,256
- HE'S THE HORNIEST
PEDIATRICIAN IN MIAMI.
484
00:21:18,291 --> 00:21:19,591
- [both giggling]
485
00:21:19,626 --> 00:21:20,859
- I HEARD THAT!
486
00:21:22,455 --> 00:21:24,362
WELL, I HAVE TOO MUCH RESPECT
FOR THIS MAN
487
00:21:24,397 --> 00:21:26,130
TO LET IT GO ON
A MINUTE LONGER.
488
00:21:26,166 --> 00:21:29,039
YOU SEE, DOIN' THE GOSSIP
IS ONE THING,
489
00:21:29,169 --> 00:21:31,351
BEIN' THE VICTIM OF IT
IS ANOTHER.
490
00:21:31,938 --> 00:21:35,082
I'M ASHAMED I'S EVER A PART
OF IT, AND YOU SHOULD BE TOO.
491
00:21:37,544 --> 00:21:39,065
- WELL DONE, LAVERNE.
492
00:21:39,412 --> 00:21:41,084
- OH, NOW.
493
00:21:41,500 --> 00:21:43,248
I THINK THE GOOD DOCTOR
AND I'VE HAD ENOUGH
494
00:21:43,283 --> 00:21:45,457
OF YO'UNS THIS COMPANY
FOR ONE AFTERNOON.
495
00:21:47,888 --> 00:21:49,254
- I'M SORRY, DOCTOR.
- MM-HMM.
496
00:21:49,289 --> 00:21:50,421
- I'M SORRY, LAVERNE.
497
00:21:50,457 --> 00:21:53,424
- [apologetically]
HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY.
498
00:21:55,829 --> 00:21:58,575
- WELL, I'M GLAD
WE FINALLY PUT THAT TO REST.
499
00:21:59,243 --> 00:22:01,710
- NOONER, NOONER,
THEY'RE GONNA HAVE A MATINEE.
500
00:22:01,746 --> 00:22:04,180
- [all guffawing]
501
00:22:04,215 --> 00:22:06,215
502
00:22:10,583 --> 00:22:12,963
- AH, I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE.
- HEY. HEY.
503
00:22:13,128 --> 00:22:14,794
- LISTEN, I WANNA STRAIGHTEN
SOMETHING OUT.
504
00:22:14,829 --> 00:22:17,404
NOW--NOW YOU KNOW THERE WAS
NEVER ANY TRUTH TO THAT GOSSIP.
505
00:22:17,632 --> 00:22:20,532
- HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY.
- ALL RIGHT. COME ON, PERRY.
506
00:22:20,702 --> 00:22:22,769
COME ON, COME ON. I'LL SHOW YOU
EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED.
507
00:22:22,804 --> 00:22:24,437
- WHAT?
- WE WENT INTO THE CLOSET,
508
00:22:24,472 --> 00:22:27,840
AND--AND...JUST TO--TO CHANGE
A LIGHT BULB.
509
00:22:27,876 --> 00:22:31,377
THE DOOR WAS AJAR.
NOW, COME ON NOW.
510
00:22:31,413 --> 00:22:34,047
LAVERNE WAS STANDING
ON TOP OF THIS BOX HERE.
511
00:22:34,082 --> 00:22:36,149
- OH, HO, HO, HO, YEAH.
- NOW, YOU KNOW,
512
00:22:36,184 --> 00:22:37,517
SHE'S VERY TICKLISH.
- UH-HUH.
513
00:22:37,552 --> 00:22:38,851
- SO I SAID--I SAID,
514
00:22:38,887 --> 00:22:41,120
"STOP SQUIRMING I CAN'T GET
A HOLD OF YOU."
515
00:22:41,156 --> 00:22:43,389
- HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY.
516
00:22:43,425 --> 00:22:46,292
- I SAID "COME ON. THAT'S
ENOUGH. STOP FOOLING AROUND."
517
00:22:46,328 --> 00:22:49,193
- HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY.
- COME ON!
518
00:22:49,820 --> 00:22:51,987
- OH, MY GOD.
519
00:22:52,037 --> 00:22:56,587
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