Original subtitles

- HEY, CHARLEY. I THOUGHT YOU WERE ON A CRUISE.

- CANCELED. SHIP'S IN THE SHOP.

- ISN'T THAT CALLED DRY DOCK, CHARLEY?

- OOH, AREN'T WE MISS SEVEN SEAS?

- SO WHAT HAPPENED?

- AH, I SPILLED A BANANA DAIQUIRI

ON THE NAVIGATION CONSOLE

AND IT KINDA SHORTED OUT AND STARTED A FIRE.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY WERE SO MAD ABOUT,

IT WOULD'VE WENT OUT EVENTUALLY.

WE'RE SURROUNDED BY WATER.

- YOU MUST BE IN TROUBLE. SO WHAT'D THEY DO?

THROW YOU IN THE BRIG? - NO, THEY LOCKED ME

IN THE SHIP'S JAIL.

THEN WHEN THEY GOT BACK TO THE PLACE

WHERE THEY PARK THE BOAT... - YEAH.

- THEY TOLD ME THAT I WAS SUSPENDED FOR THREE WEEKS

WITH PAY. - WITH PAY?

- UNION THING. DON'T ASK QUESTIONS.

- WHERE IS MY PURSE? THIS IS NOT A GOOD START.

I'M LATE FOR MY THERAPY SESSION,

AND I HAD THIS TERRIBLE NIGHTMARE I HAVE TO DISCUSS.

OH! THERE IT IS.

- WHAT KIND OF DREAM GOT YOU SO UPSET?

- OH, IT WAS AWFUL.

I DREAMT ABOUT MARSHMALLOWS.

- OOH, SCARY.

- OH, IMBECILE, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

I DREAMT THAT I WAS BACK IN GIRL SCOUTS

ROASTING MARSHMALLOWS, WHEN SUDDENLY THE MARSHMALLOWS

BEGAN TO MOCK ME.

"YOU'RE A LOSER. YOU'RE A LOSER."

AND THEN THEY MELTED AWAY INTO NOTHINGNESS

THUMBING THEIR GOOEY NOSES AT ME.

CLEARLY, IT REPRESENTS MY RELATIONSHIP WITH PATRICK.

WE HAD A HORRIBLE FIGHT. I THINK I'M LOSING HIM.

HENCE, THE DREAM. WHERE ARE MY KEYS?

OH! THERE THEY ARE.

DREYFUSS, YOU ARE ALWAYS IN THE WAY, STUPID DOG.

[dog whimpers]

MOVE!

OH.

- OH, DREYFIE, DID SHE HURT YOUR FEELINGS, HONEY?

OH, I'M SORRY.

- SHE HURT MY FEELINGS TOO.

- LIFE GOES ON AND SO DO WE

JUST HOW WE DO IT IS NO MYSTERY

ONE BY ONE WE FILL THE DAYS

WE FIND A THOUSAND DIFFERENT WAYS

SOMETIMES THE ANSWER CAN BE HARD TO FIND

THAT'S SOMETHING I WILL NEVER BE

I'M ALWAYS HERE

FOR ANYTHING YOU NEED

RAIN OR SHINE I'LL BE THE ONE

TO SHARE IT ALL AS LIFE GOES ON

WE SHARE IT ALL

AS LIFE GOES ON

- GOOD MORNING. - WHY, DOCTOR,

NOT ONLY ARE YOU ON TIME, YOU'RE EARLY.

GET OUT.

- LAVERNE, YOU KNOW WHAT TODAY IS?

- THURSDAY. - NOPE.

- IT IS TOO. - OH, YEAH, YEAH,

IT'S THURSDAY, BUT... WHAT ELSE IS IT?

- WEAR YOUR PANTS BACKWARDS TO THE OFFICE DAY?

- WRONG AGAIN.

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN "WRONG AGAIN"?

I'S RIGHT ABOUT THURSDAY.

I SWEAR, MAN STRUTS IN EARLY,

STARTS TWISTIN' MY MIND AROUND WITH SILLY RIDDLES.

GET OUT.

- LAVERNE, WHY DO YOU KEEP TELLING ME TO GET OUT?

- BECAUSE TODAY IS THE END OF YOUR FISCAL YEAR,

THE DAY YOU HAVE ALWAYS GIVEN ME A BONUS.

AND YOUR SHOW OF GRATITUDE, THOUGH ALWAYS APPRECIATED,

EMBARRASSES ME.

- YOU KNEW. - WELL, OF COURSE I KNEW.

- WELL, ANYWAY, LAVERNE, TODAY IS...

BONUS DAY.

- OH, MY LORD, IS IT THAT TIME ALREADY?

- PLEASE. NOW, I DECIDED TO DO

SOMETHING A LITTLE DIFFERENT THIS YEAR.

I'M GIVING YOU THIS INSTEAD OF CASH.

- "THIS ENTITLES YOU TO A SMALL PERCENTAGE OF OWNERSHIP

IN THE DADE COUNTY GALLERIA."

OWNERSHIP?

I OWN THE GALLERIA? THE GALLERIA IS MINE?

- WELL, YOU KNOW, NOT EXACTLY.

YOU SEE, I'M A LIMITED PARTNER,

WHICH MEANS I OWN A SMALL PERCENTAGE.

AND I JUST GAVE YOU A SMALL PERCENTAGE

OF MY PERCENTAGE... UNDERSTAND?

- UH-HUH.

I OWN IT NOW.

- WELL, YOU OWN YOUR SMALL SHARE, YEAH.

- THEN THIS MAKES YOU AND ME PARTNERS.

- YEAH, IN A MANNER OF SPEAKING.

- SO TELL ME, PARTNER.

WHERE DO I PARK?

- DID I MENTION, UH, "SMALL PERCENTAGE"?

- YES, YOU DID. - DID I MENTION,

UH, YOU COULD SELL IT BACK TO ME,

IF YOU'D RATHER HAVE THE CASH?

- SELL IT BACK?

HELL, I'VE ALWAYS DREAMED OF OWNIN' ACREAGE.

SITTIN' ON A BACK PORCH OF MY OWN HOME

WITH A SHOTGUN SAYING, "GET OFF MY LAND.

"GET OFF MY LAND BEFORE I SPLATTER YOUR GUTS

ALL OVER MY COW."

AND YOU'VE MADE THAT DREAM COME TRUE.

- AND A--AND A BEAUTIFUL DREAM IT IS.

- HEY, DREYF. I'M HOME.

DREYFUSS, WHAT'S GOING ON?

DREYF?

DREYFUSS, WHAT'S THE MATTER?

OH.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH DREYFUSS? - WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

- WELL, HE KEEPS RUNNING AWAY FROM ME.

I-I THINK HE MUST BE SICK OR SOMETHING.

WATCH. COME HERE, DREYF.

- COME HERE, DREYF. COME ON.

- OH, SOMETHING I SAID? [chuckles]

[gasps] IT WAS SOMETHING I SAID.

I BET HE'S UPSET BECAUSE I YELLED AT HIM

THIS MORNING.

OH, DREYFIE,

YOU'RE NOT MAD AT ME, ARE YOU, HUH?

- [exhales]

AH, AH...OH...

[phone rings]

HELLO?

OH, HI, LAVERNE.

AH, HOW--HOW NICE. BUT WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME

YOU'RE ON THE FIRST FLOOR OF THE GALLERIA?

WELL, NOW--NOW THAT I KNOW IT'S SAFE AND SECURE,

I'M GOING TO BED.

YEAH, YEAH.

LAVERNE, PLEASE, STOP CALLING ME "PARTNER."

- HEY, HARRY, WANT A SANDWICH?

- NO, CHARLEY, I JUST ATE.

- ALL RIGHT!

WHAT ARE WE WATCHING? - IT'S NOVA.

- HATE IT.

- REALLY? IT'S ON FOR SIX HOURS TONIGHT.

- WHAT THE HELL.

LOOKS LIKE WE'RE IN FOR A LONG EVENING.

- YES, I AM.

- WHAT'S THAT?

- THAT'S A-- IT'S A DOLPHIN.

CHARLEY, YOU WORK ON A SHIP.

- OH, THEY DON'T LET ME UP ON DECK, HARRY.

[phone ringing]

AREN'T YOU GONNA GET THAT? - NO. MIGHT BE LAVERNE.

- AND YOU DON'T WANT OUR EVENING INTERRUPTED.

- MM.

- [exhales] ARE YOU OUT?

- I'M ASLEEP. - GOTCHA.

HELLO. NO, IT'S CHARLEY, LAVERNE.

HOLD ON. LAVERNE.

- I JUST TOLD YOU-- - HARRY, I DON'T DO PHONE LIES.

NO CHALLENGE.

- YES, LAVERNE?

SECOND FLOOR SAFE AND SECURE.

THAT'S TRUE, YEAH, THE... THE GALLERIA HAS MANY FLOORS.

GET OFF THEM. GOOD NIGHT.

- HARRY.

WHEN THEY SHIP STYROFOAM,

WHERE DO THEY PACK IT IN?

- LOOK, CHARLEY, IF YOU'RE BORED,

WHY DON'T YOU READ A BOOK?

- I DON'T GET IT, WHAT'S THE GAG?

- JUST READ A BOOK. - A BOOK?

[giggling] HARRY, I HAVEN'T READ A BOOK

SINCE...

WELL, I NEVER READ A BOOK.

- ALL RIGHT, CHARLEY, COME ON. COME WITH ME. COME ON.

COME OVER HERE. YOU'RE GONNA READ A BOOK.

THERE--THERE YOU GO. THERE'S A WHOLE WALL OF BOOKS.

JUST PICK ONE.

- I DON'T HAVE TO LOOK ANY FURTHER. "LOOOVE" STORY.

- GO. READ IT. YOU'LL LOVE IT.

- I WON'T JUST LOVE IT, HARRY.

I'M GONNA LOOOVE IT.

- FINALLY ALONE, AT LAST. [groaning]

[telephone ringing]

GOOD. THE MACHINE GOT IT.

- HARRY, LAVERNE.

- HEY, SOMETHING SMELLS GOOD. MMM.

- YEH-TA-TA-TA-TA!

THOSE AREN'T FOR YOU. THEY'RE FOR DREYFUSS.

- YOU'RE MAKING COOKIES FOR A DOG?

- THEY'RE DOGGIE BISCUITS. AND YES.

I FEEL TERRIBLE ABOUT HAVING YELLED AT DREYFUSS.

AND THIS IS JUST MY WAY OF MAKING IT UP TO HIM.

- CAROL, DREYFUSS WILL GET OVER IT.

LOOK, HE'LL JUST COME TO YOU WHEN HE'S READY.

- EMILY, DEAR, I THINK I KNOW DREYFUSS

A LITTLE BETTER THAN YOU DO.

- FINE.

- HE'S GOING TO LOVE THIS. [blowing]

OKAY, DREYFIE.

[blowing] DREYF, IT'S MOMMY CAROL.

ALL RIGHT, DREYF, IT'S EMILY.

GOOD BOY. SEE WHAT I HAVE FOR YOU?

DREYF.

- HOWDY, I'M LAVERNE TODD, AND THIS IS DR. WESTON.

AND THIS IS OURS AS FAR AS THE EYE CAN SEE.

BUT YOU'RE WELCOME TO STAY A WHILE.

HOWDY, I'M LAVERNE TODD, AND THIS IS DR. WESTON.

THIS IS OUR LAND.

- WHO CARES?

- LAVERNE, LISTEN TO ME.

PAY ATTENTION TO ME, PLEASE.

THIS IS NOT YOUR LAND.

IF YOU DIVIDE YOUR SHARE

IN THE AMOUNT OF LAND THAT'S HERE,

DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH SPACE IS YOURS?

- HOW MUCH? - MY RIGHT FOOT

IS COVERING YOUR LAND.

- WON'T YOU GET YOURSELF A DECENT PAIR OF SHOES?

NOW COME ON, THIS HERE'S THE LAST STORE LEFT TO CHECK ON.

- LAVERNE, NOBODY NEEDS YOU TO CHECK ON THEM HERE.

NOBODY CARES. NOBODY KNOW--

THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

- AFTERNOON, MISS TODD.

NICE JOB THE WAY YOU STIFF-ARMED THAT HIGH SCHOOL KID

GOING THE WRONG WAY UP THE ESCALATOR.

[Laverne giggles]

- [over radio] ATTENTION, MAINTENANCE.

PLEASE REPORT IMMEDIATELY TO SECOND FLOOR.

WISHING WELL BACKED UP AND WATER ON THE FLOOR.

- THAT'S US, DOCTOR. - WHAT? WHOA!

WHY US? THEY CALLED FOR MAINTENANCE. I'M NOT GOING.

- WHAT ABOUT THE FOOD COURT?

DO YOU WANNA BE REMEMBERED AS THE OWNER

WHO LET THE WISHIN' WELL FLOOD THE HOT DOG ON A STICK STAND?

- NO, NO. I MEAN, OF COURSE NOT. BUT--

- 10-4, WE'RE ON OUR WAY.

IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO STAND BY YOUR LAND.

- WHAT A WOMAN.

- I'LL SELL IT TO YOU FOR $300.

- HEY, CHARLEY, WHAT YOU READING?

- THIS GREAT BOOK.

I WAS UP WITH IT ALL NIGHT. I COULDN'T PUT IT DOWN.

I'M JUST ABOUT TO START CHAPTER ELEVEN.

- THAT'S CHAPTER TWO, CHARLEY.

SEE, UM, THOSE ARE ROMAN NUMERALS.

LIKE CHAPTER THREE WILL BE THREE I's.

- DON'T SPOIL IT FOR ME.

- I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE READING

LOVE STORY.

- I'M NOT. I'M READING "LOOOVE" STORY.

I REALLY GOTTA THANK HARRY FOR TURNING ME ON

TO THIS READING THING. IT'S AMAZING.

WHAT A GREAT IDEA.

IT'S LIKE A BOOK ON TAPE WITHOUT THE SOUND.

- YOU KNOW, CHARLEY, IN YOUR CASE,

A MIND IS AN ABSOLUTELY OKAY THING TO WASTE.

[giggles]

LOVE STORY. GOSH, I REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME I READ THIS.

I WAS IN JUNIOR HIGH. I CRIED FOR THREE DAYS STRAIGHT.

OF COURSE, I WAS JUST A KID BACK THEN.

OH, THIS IS MY FAVORITE PART. WHEN OLIVER GOES TO HER AND...

[sobbing] THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL.

[telephone ringing]

[sobbing] HELLO?

NO, PATRICK, IT'S NOT CAROL.

- I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO, DOCTOR.

THIS RELATIONSHIP MEANS SO MUCH TO ME.

I MEAN, I-I KNOW I CAN BE DIFFICULT,

AND I'M SURE HE HAS SIDE TOO, BUT...

- CAROL, AS YOU KNOW, ASKING FOR HELP

IS THE FIRST STEP.

- DOCTOR, I'M SURE THAT WHEN YOU MEET HIM

YOU'LL SEE THAT DREYFUSS

IS A CLASSIC, PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE PERSONALITY,

MOSTLY PASSIVE.

- WELL, CAROL, YOU HAVE DONE EXACTLY THE RIGHT THING

COMING TO SEE AN ANIMAL THERAPIST.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT,

I CAN FIT YOU IN...

[clearing throat] TOMORROW.

LET'S SEE, UH,

3:00, I'VE GOT THE BULIMIC PONY.

4:00, PARANOID PARROT, FASCINATING CASE.

"WHO PUT SOMETHING IN MY CRACKER?

WHO PUT SOMETHING IN MY CRACKER?"

[laughs]

OKAY. [clearing throat]

SO HOW'S 3:30 FOR DREYFUSS? - OH, IT'S FINE.

- YOU KNOW, DREYFUSS, THAT'S VERY INTERESTING.

WHO NAMED HIM? - I DID.

- YOU KNOW NAMES CAN HAVE IMPORTANT

PSYCHOLOGICAL IMPLICATIONS.

ARE YOU AWARE THAT THE DREYFUSS AFFAIR

WAS A FAMOUS HISTORICAL COURT MARTIAL?

- YES, I DID KNOW THAT.

- CAROL, IS IT POSSIBLE

THAT WHEN DREYFUSS WAS A PUP

YOU PERCEIVED HIM AS A BURDEN--

A "TRIAL," IF YOU WILL?

- DO YOU TAKE PEOPLE?

- I AM TELLIN' YOU, LURLENE, NEXT TIME I COME TO HICKORY,

I MIGHT JUST BE WEARIN' ME A TOP HAT

AND SMOKIN' A SMELLY OL' STOGIE.

RIGHT. JUST LIKE THAT GUY ON THE COMMUNITY CHEST CARDS

IN MONOPOLY.

YEAH, I GOTTA GO. BYE.

- OKAY, LAVERNE, THAT'S IT FOR THE DAY?

- THAT'S IT FOR THE DAY, PARTNER.

I'LL BE HEADED OUT TO THE GALLERIA

TO CHECK ON OUR INVESTMENT.

- HAS IT OCCURRED TO YOU THAT YOU'RE OBSESSED

WITH THIS GALLERIA THING? - NO.

- WOULD YOU LET ME BUY BACK YOUR PIECE OF THE GALLERIA?

- WHAT ABOUT MY DREAM?

SITTIN' ON THAT BACK PORCH WITH MY SHOTGUN?

- LAVERNE, THE GALLERIA DOESN'T HAVE A BACK PORCH,

AND--AND--AND SHOTGUNS AREN'T ALLOWED.

- WE CAN BUILD A BACK PORCH AND WE CAN STRIKE DOWN

THESE SHOTGUN LAWS IF WE ALL JUST PULL TOGETHER.

- UH-HUH, LAVERNE, I--I HAD HOPED THAT THIS WOULD BE

A GOOD CHANCE FOR YOU TO LEARN

A LITTLE BIT ABOUT INVESTMENTS,

BUT ALONG THE WAY, SOMETHING WENT...

TERRIBLY, TERRIBLY WRONG.

SO WHY DON'T YOU JUST SELL IT BACK TO ME?

- YOU MEAN I GIVE YOU BACK

THAT LITTLE PIECE OF PAPER AND YOU GIVE ME $500?

- YES.

- WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH INVESTMENT?

I THOUGHT YOU MAKE MONEY WITH INVESTMENTS.

- OKAY, I'LL GIVE YOU $600.

- SAID THE SPIDER TO THE FLY.

$800.

- $700. - $750.

- DONE.

I'LL BRING THE CHECK IN TOMORROW.

I MUST--WELL, 50% PROFIT IN 24 HOURS.

I'D SAY YOU MADE OUT PRETTY WELL, LAVERNE.

- I PLAN ON GIVIN' MY PROFIT TO CHARITY.

- WELL, THAT'S--THAT'S VERY NOBLE OF YOU.

AND I...I ADMIRE THAT.

BYE.

- UNITED CAUSE?

I'D LIKE TO MAKE A DONATION OF $250.

WELL, YOU'RE WELCOME.

NOW, I'LL BE DOWN TOMORROW TO CHECK ON YOUR OPERATION.

WHERE'S MY PARKING PLACE?

- HEY, CHARLEY, HOW DO YOU LIKE THE BOOK?

- WELL, WE HIT A VALLEY HERE.

ALL OF A SUDDEN, THIS BABE'S A LITTLE SICK OR SOMETHING.

BUT THIS OLIVER'S A CLASSY GUY.

SHE'S LYING IN BED HALF DEAD

AND HE DOESN'T PUT A MOVE ON HER.

DON'T TELL ME.

TURNS OUT HE'S GAY.

[doorbell rings]

- COME IN, DR. SIMMONS. - I'M SORRY I'M LATE.

MY SESSION WITH THE BULIMIC PONY

WENT A LITTLE LONGER THAN EXPECTED.

I STILL CAN'T FIGURE OUT

HOW HE GETS HIS HOOF DOWN HIS THROAT.

[laughing]

- UH, B--BEFORE WE BEGIN,

I THINK I SHOULD TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT DREYFUSS.

HE'S VERY GOOD-LOOKING AND HE KNOWS IT.

SO DON'T BE TAKEN IN BY HIS CHARM.

- CAROL, I'M A PROFESSIONAL.

I HAVE DEALT WITH THOUSANDS OF DOGS.

I EVALUATE THEM ALL VERY OBJECTIVELY--

OH...MY...GOD.

HE'S BEAUTIFUL.

COME HERE, DREYFIE-WIFIE.

OHO-HO-HO-HO. DID THE MEAN LADY YELL AT YOU?

- DR. SIMMONS. - OKAY.

I WOULD LIKE TO OBSERVE YOUR INTERACTION.

CAROL, WHY DON'T YOU CALL DREYFUSS?

- DREYFUSS, COME HERE.

- YOU KNOW, I THINK HIS BEHAVIOR IS A LITTLE EXTREME

FOR ONE SCOLDING.

IS IT POSSIBLE--

- I KNOW WHERE YOU'RE HEADING,

THAT THERE'S A SUBTLE PATTERN OF EMOTIONAL NEGLECT.

- YES, VERY OFTEN-- - AND DO I KNOW

EMOTIONAL NEGLECT?

DO YOU KNOW THAT ONCE WHEN I WAS SEVEN,

MY FATHER LEFT FOR WORK WITHOUT SAYING GOOD-BYE?

DO YOU KNOW HOW THAT MADE ME FEEL?

- NO.

I KNOW HOW THAT WOULD MAKE A PEKINESE FEEL?

- WELL, LET ME TELL YOU HOW TRAUMATIC THAT WAS.

IT WAS REALLY AWFUL.

WHICH BRINGS ME TO MY RELATIONSHIP WITH PATRICK.

- PLEASE TELL ME HE'S A CAT.

- NO. NO, HE'S MY BOYFRIEND.

- OH, WELL, LET'S GET BACK TO DREYFUSS.

- YEAH, I'M GETTING THERE. I'M GETTING THERE. STAY WITH ME.

SEE, I THINK, IN AN UNCONSCIOUS WAY,

I'M TRANSFERRING MY ANGER FOR PATRICK TO DREYFUSS

OR--OR PERHAPS IT'S JUST MY RAGE TOWARDS ALL MEN.

- CAROL, I CAME HERE TO DEAL WITH DREYFUSS.

NOW, I THINK HIS PROBLEM-- - DR. SIMMONS, I THINK

YOU'RE MISSING THE POINT. - NO, YOU'RE MISSING

THE POINT. - IF YOU JUST LET ME EXPLAIN

ABOUT PATRICK. - CAROL, I DON'T WANNA HEAR

ABOUT PATRICK, YOUR FATHER, YOUR EX-HUSBAND,

OR YOUR BED-WETTING AT CAMP WIMOWEH.

- UH, WHY NOT?

- I THINK THAT YOU ARE THE MOST EGOCENTRIC,

SELF-CENTERED, SELF-INVOLVED, SELF-SERVING MAMMAL

I HAVE EVER MET.

IF I WERE DREYFUSS,

I WOULD GO FOR YOUR THROAT.

AND LET ME TELL YOU ONE MORE-- - [barking]

- WHAT'S HE DOING? - I THINK HE'S DEFENDING YOU.

GOD KNOWS WHY.

- [barking] - HE IS?

OH, DREYFIE, DREYFIE, YOU DO LOVE ME. OH, DREYFIE--

[gasps] DOCTOR, THAT WAS BRILLIANT.

HOW DID YOU EVER GET YOUR ANGER TOWARDS ME TO SEEM SO REAL?

- WELL, I COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT YOU.

- [sobbing]

- CAROL?

CHARLEY? - [sobbing]

- CHARLEY, WHAT'S THE MATTER?

- [sobbing] I FINISHED THE BOOK.

SHE DIED, HARRY.

JENNY'S GONE.

- OH, THERE IS A SEQUEL.

- NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. I'M NOT PUTTING MYSELF

THROUGH THIS EMOTIONAL WRINGER AGAIN.

NOPE, NO MORE BOOKS FOR ME.

SOMEONE ONCE SAID,

"THERE'S A BOOK IN ALL OF US."

WELL, I'VE READ MINE.

- CHARLEY, CHARLEY, THERE'S--THERE'S--

THERE'S A WHOLE WORLD OF BOOKS OUT THERE.

YOU JUST PICKED THE SAD ONE.

- OKAY, I'LL TRY ONE MORE. - GO AHEAD, YEAH.

THERE'S LOTS TO CHOOSE FROM.

TAKE YOUR TIME.

- OF HUMAN BONDAGE?

HARRY, ALL RIGHT.

- MISS TODD? I'M FROM THE UNITED CAUSE.

- WHY, HEY, PARTNER.

NOW, THERE'S A FEW MORE THINGS THAT NEEDS DISCUSSIN'.

FIRST OF ALL--

- MISS TODD, PLEASE.

THE UNITED CAUSE HAS BEEN IN BUSINESS SINCE 1847.

AND THIS IS THE FIRST TIME,

WE HAD TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS.

- LIKE WHAT? - RETURN A DONATION.

WE'RE GIVING YOURS BACK.

- WHAT? - WELL, NOT EXACTLY BACK.

WE MADE A DONATION IN YOUR NAME

TO A VERY WORTHY CAUSE,

AND WE'D APPRECIATE IT

IF YOU'D DEAL DIRECTLY WITH THEM.

THANK YOU. BYE-BYE.

- WELL...

AT LEAST THESE PEOPLE DO GOOD WORK.

HELLO? I'D LIKE TO SPEAK TO JERRY LEWIS, PLEASE.

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