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1
00:00:01,126 --> 00:00:02,893
[automatic dialing]
2
00:00:02,928 --> 00:00:04,294
[ringing]
3
00:00:04,330 --> 00:00:07,429
- YOU HAVE REACHED THERADISON MEDICAL SUPPLY COMPANY.
4
00:00:07,453 --> 00:00:09,120
IF YOU'D LIKE TO SPEAK TO ACCOUNTING,
5
00:00:09,155 --> 00:00:11,155
PRESS 1 NOW.
6
00:00:11,190 --> 00:00:13,057
IF YOU'D LIKE TO SPEAK TO CORPORATE,
7
00:00:13,092 --> 00:00:15,300
PRESS 2 NOW.
8
00:00:15,342 --> 00:00:17,561
IF YOU'D LIKE THE ORDER DEPARTMENT,
9
00:00:17,597 --> 00:00:19,986
PRESS 3 NOW.
10
00:00:20,767 --> 00:00:23,167
YOU HAVE REACHED THE ORDER DEPARTMENT.
11
00:00:23,202 --> 00:00:25,102
IF YOU'D LIKE TO ORDER BANDAGES,
12
00:00:25,138 --> 00:00:27,405
PRESS 1 NOW.
13
00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:31,325
IF YOU'D LIKE TO ORDER BAND-AIDS, PRESS 2 NOW.
14
00:00:32,045 --> 00:00:34,979
YOU HAVE REACHED THE BAND-AID DEPARTMENT.
15
00:00:35,014 --> 00:00:37,548
IF YOU'D LIKE TO ORDER 3/4 INCH BAND-AIDS--
16
00:00:37,583 --> 00:00:40,063
- TAKE YOUR BAND-AID
AND STICK IT!
17
00:00:40,797 --> 00:00:42,864
- HEY, LAVERNE,
DID YOU ORDER THOSE BAND-AIDS?
18
00:00:42,899 --> 00:00:45,666
- NO! YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE THE
TROUBLE I HAD GETTIN' THROUGH.
19
00:00:45,702 --> 00:00:47,802
- REALLY? RADISON'S ALWAYS
BEEN CUSTOMER-FRIENDLY.
20
00:00:47,837 --> 00:00:49,003
DID YOU DIAL THE RIGHT NUMBER?
21
00:00:49,039 --> 00:00:50,671
- OF COURSE I DID!
22
00:00:50,707 --> 00:00:52,874
THEY GOT TOO BIG.
TOO AUTOMATED.
23
00:00:52,909 --> 00:00:55,977
YOU CAN FORGET IT DOCTOR!
IT'S ALL COMPUTERS NOW.
24
00:00:56,012 --> 00:00:57,512
[automatic dialing]
25
00:00:57,547 --> 00:01:00,659
- YOU HAVE REACHED THE
RADISON MEDICAL SUPPLY COMPANY.
26
00:01:01,731 --> 00:01:04,699
- RADISON SPEAKING. WHO'S THIS?
- DR. WESTON IN MIAMI.
27
00:01:04,734 --> 00:01:06,667
- OH, SURE! HI, HARRY.
HOW CAN WE HELP YOU?
28
00:01:06,703 --> 00:01:08,436
- OH, HEY, CHARLIE!
YEAH, HI.
29
00:01:08,471 --> 00:01:10,738
WE'D LIKE TWO GROSS
OF THE 3/4 INCH BAND-AIDS.
30
00:01:10,773 --> 00:01:12,440
- YOU'LL HAVE THEM BY THURSDAY.
THANK YOU.
31
00:01:12,475 --> 00:01:14,453
- OKAY. BYE-BYE.
32
00:01:16,312 --> 00:01:17,511
- HOW DID YOU DO THAT?
33
00:01:17,547 --> 00:01:18,677
- WELL...
34
00:01:19,716 --> 00:01:21,029
I'M GOOD.
35
00:01:27,423 --> 00:01:30,925
-
LIFE GOES ON,
AND SO DO WE
36
00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:34,795
JUST HOW WE DO
IT IS NO MYSTERY
37
00:01:34,831 --> 00:01:39,333
ONE BY ONE
WE FILL THE DAYS
38
00:01:39,369 --> 00:01:42,970
WE FIND
A THOUSAND DIFFERENT WAYS
39
00:01:43,006 --> 00:01:46,741
SOMETIMES THE ANSWER
CAN BE HARD TO FIND
40
00:01:46,776 --> 00:01:49,510
THAT'S SOMETHING
I WILL NEVER BE
41
00:01:49,545 --> 00:01:52,446
I'M ALWAYS HERE
42
00:01:52,482 --> 00:01:58,552
FOR ANYTHING YOU NEED
43
00:01:58,588 --> 00:02:00,287
RAIN OR SHINE
44
00:02:00,323 --> 00:02:02,423
I'LL BE THE ONE
45
00:02:02,458 --> 00:02:06,060
TO SHARE IT ALL
AS LIFE GOES ON
46
00:02:06,542 --> 00:02:13,213
WE SHARE IT ALL,
AS LIFE GOES ON
47
00:02:27,296 --> 00:02:30,178
- OKAY, MASON.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
48
00:02:30,210 --> 00:02:32,291
THERE YOU GO,
HE'S BEEN SUCH A GOOD BOY.
49
00:02:32,312 --> 00:02:34,545
I'M GONNA GIVE HIM
A SPECIAL PRESCRIPTION.
50
00:02:34,580 --> 00:02:35,948
THERE YOU GO.
51
00:02:35,976 --> 00:02:39,077
YOU TAKE ONE EXTRA DOSE
OF PUMPKIN PIE AFTER EATING
52
00:02:39,113 --> 00:02:42,494
CAUTION: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS.
HEH HEH HEH!
53
00:02:42,917 --> 00:02:44,152
THERE YOU GO.
[pops mouth]
54
00:02:44,198 --> 00:02:47,521
- REAL FUNNY, DOCTOR.
I THINK YOU CAUSE DROWSINESS.
55
00:02:48,489 --> 00:02:49,788
- AH! THANKSGIVING!
56
00:02:49,824 --> 00:02:52,191
I LOVE THIS HOLIDAY,
LAVERNE!
57
00:02:52,226 --> 00:02:54,424
- YOU DON'T KNOW DIDDLY
ABOUT THANKSGIVIN'.
58
00:02:55,429 --> 00:02:57,205
- I KNOW DIDDLY.
59
00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:01,756
- IN HICKORY,
WE KNEW THANKSGIVIN'.
60
00:03:01,824 --> 00:03:04,403
EVERYBODY WOULD COME
AND BRING SOMETHIN'.
61
00:03:04,438 --> 00:03:08,373
COUSIN TUPPY WOULD ARRIVE WITH
BASKETS OF JAM AND SUCCOTASH,
62
00:03:08,409 --> 00:03:10,642
THE BRAISY TWINS,
WILMA AND WINNIE,
63
00:03:10,678 --> 00:03:13,812
WOULD COME WITH HUBBARD SQUASH
AND POPOVERS.
64
00:03:13,848 --> 00:03:17,716
AUNT EDNA WOULD COME BY WITH
SQUAW BREAD AND POOH BUTTER.
65
00:03:19,486 --> 00:03:21,861
UNCLE BEN WOULD BRING RICE.
66
00:03:24,158 --> 00:03:26,158
- OKAY, OKAY, LAVERNE.
I GET IT, I GET IT.
67
00:03:26,193 --> 00:03:28,427
SO I GUESS YOU'RE GOING
BACK HOME FOR THANKSGIVING.
68
00:03:28,462 --> 00:03:29,548
- NO.
69
00:03:29,580 --> 00:03:32,302
CROP-DUSTER ACCIDENT
AT GRANDMA'S HOUSE.
70
00:03:34,201 --> 00:03:37,070
THE GOVERNMENT'S PAYIN'
FOR IT TOO.
71
00:03:37,149 --> 00:03:40,088
NOW AUNT EDNA STARTED
TO VOLUNTEER TO--
72
00:03:40,207 --> 00:03:41,840
OH, IT'S A LONG STORY.
73
00:03:42,571 --> 00:03:44,550
- THEY ALL ARE,
AREN'T THEY, HUH?
74
00:03:46,413 --> 00:03:48,247
- SO I'LL BE HAVIN'
THANKSGIVING DINNER
75
00:03:48,282 --> 00:03:50,249
RIGHT HERE
IN THE HOSPITAL CAFETERIA.
76
00:03:50,284 --> 00:03:54,077
$12.95, ALL YOU CAN EAT.
PLUS THREE DIFFERENT GRAVIES.
77
00:03:54,108 --> 00:03:55,420
- LAVERNE, THAT'S CRAZY!
78
00:03:55,456 --> 00:03:57,055
NO, I WANT YOU TO HAVE
THANKSGIVING WITH US.
79
00:03:57,091 --> 00:03:58,557
- AFTER WHAT HAPPEN
TWO YEAR AGO,
80
00:03:58,592 --> 00:04:00,869
YOU GOTTA BE YANKIN'
MY WADDLE!
81
00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:05,063
- LAVERNE, IT WAS
AN ISOLATED INCIDENT.
82
00:04:05,099 --> 00:04:07,271
IT'S FORGOTTEN.
- NOT BY ME.
83
00:04:07,368 --> 00:04:09,601
- COME ON, LAVERNE.
YOU'LL HAVE A GREAT TIME.
84
00:04:09,637 --> 00:04:11,370
CAROL WILL BE THERE,
PATRICK WILL BE THERE,
85
00:04:11,405 --> 00:04:13,205
CHARLEY AND A DATE
WILL BE THERE.
86
00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:15,374
- WELL, THANKS, DOCTOR.
BUT I DON'T THINK SO.
87
00:04:15,409 --> 00:04:17,409
- OH, COME ON. WHY?
88
00:04:17,444 --> 00:04:19,711
- CAROL'LL BE THERE,
PATRICK'LL BE THERE,
89
00:04:19,747 --> 00:04:21,818
CHARLEY AND A DATE'LL
BE THERE.
90
00:04:23,531 --> 00:04:25,584
- THREE DIFFERENT GRAVIES,
HUH?
91
00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:29,655
AH! EIGHTY-FIVE DEGREES.
92
00:04:29,690 --> 00:04:32,665
I LOVE THESE BRISK
THANKSGIVINGS IN MIAMI.
93
00:04:32,695 --> 00:04:34,726
HA HA...
HOO HOO... HA!
94
00:04:34,762 --> 00:04:36,028
THANKSGIVING! LOVE IT!
95
00:04:36,063 --> 00:04:39,331
OOH, DREYF. IT'S A GOOD DAY
FOR MY DREYF.
96
00:04:39,366 --> 00:04:41,465
IT'S A BAD DAY FOR TURKEYS.
97
00:04:42,245 --> 00:04:44,770
AW, I JUST WISH
EVERYBODY ELSE WAS HERE,
98
00:04:44,805 --> 00:04:46,371
ALL TOGETHER, I MEAN...
99
00:04:46,407 --> 00:04:49,241
BARBARA'S OFF WORKING...
WHERE, I DON'T KNOW,
100
00:04:49,276 --> 00:04:52,437
EMILY'S OFF TRAVELING...
WHERE, I DON'T KNOW.
101
00:04:53,347 --> 00:04:56,348
THE ONLY STEADY,
RELIABLE ONE IS CAROL.
102
00:04:56,383 --> 00:04:58,083
- DADDY!
103
00:04:58,118 --> 00:04:59,518
I'VE GOT GIBLETS IN MY SHOES
104
00:04:59,553 --> 00:05:00,919
AND I CAN'T CRISP
MY ONION RINGS.
105
00:05:00,955 --> 00:05:02,658
THE TOASTER OVEN'S BROKEN!
106
00:05:03,023 --> 00:05:04,990
- THE TOASTER OVEN?
I THOUGHT I FIXED THAT!
107
00:05:05,025 --> 00:05:07,600
- YOU BANGED ON IT.
YOU HIT IT A FEW TIMES.
108
00:05:07,950 --> 00:05:10,083
DADDY, YOU'RE A WONDERFUL FATHER
AND A GREAT DOCTOR,
109
00:05:10,119 --> 00:05:13,287
BUT LET'S FACE IT, YOU'RE NOT
THE HANDIEST MAN IN THE WORLD.
110
00:05:13,322 --> 00:05:16,924
- I'M HANDY. I CAN FIX THINGS.
I'LL TAKE A LOOK AT IT.
111
00:05:17,426 --> 00:05:20,460
- I HATE THESE FLOATS.
IT'S THE SAME THING EVERY YEAR.
112
00:05:20,496 --> 00:05:22,796
NO ARTISTIC REDEEMING VALUE.
113
00:05:22,832 --> 00:05:25,755
THEY JUST PANDER TO
THE LOWEST COMMON DENOMINATOR.
114
00:05:26,435 --> 00:05:28,419
ALL RIGHT! SPIDER-MAN!
115
00:05:29,872 --> 00:05:31,839
- WHO DO YOU THINK WOULD WIN
IN A STREET FIGHT?
116
00:05:31,874 --> 00:05:33,747
SPIDER-MAN OR BATMAN?
117
00:05:34,176 --> 00:05:35,846
- TOE-TO-TOE
IN A STREET FIGHT?
118
00:05:35,901 --> 00:05:37,611
BATMAN.
- NO WAY!
119
00:05:37,646 --> 00:05:39,680
SPIDER-MAN COULD SPIN
HIS WEB AND TANGLE HIM UP.
120
00:05:39,715 --> 00:05:41,648
- YEAH, BUT BATMAN COULD SLICE
THROUGH THAT WEB
121
00:05:41,684 --> 00:05:43,116
WITH HIS BAT BOOMERANG.
122
00:05:43,152 --> 00:05:45,252
- YEAH, BUT SPIDER-MAN'S
GOT THAT COOL SPIDER TRACER
123
00:05:45,287 --> 00:05:47,805
THAT ENABLES HIM TO--
- I CANNOT STAND THIS!
124
00:05:48,889 --> 00:05:50,922
- HEY! HEY!
- NO!
125
00:05:50,958 --> 00:05:54,292
- THERE IS A PBS SPECIAL
ON THE MEANING OF THANKSGIVING.
126
00:05:54,328 --> 00:05:55,494
- WHAT?
127
00:05:55,529 --> 00:05:57,763
- THE PILGRIMS' PERSECUTION
OF THE INDIANS.
128
00:05:57,798 --> 00:06:01,118
SHOULD WE BE HAVING
THANKSGIVINGS OR MISGIVINGS?
129
00:06:02,781 --> 00:06:05,427
- SOMEBODY SHOOT HER
WITH A BLUNDERBUSS.
130
00:06:05,906 --> 00:06:07,639
- I GOT THE BACK
OF THE TOASTER OVEN OFF
131
00:06:07,674 --> 00:06:09,908
AND I'VE DISCOVERED
WHAT THE PROBLEM WAS.
132
00:06:09,943 --> 00:06:11,176
IT'S BROKEN.
133
00:06:11,211 --> 00:06:12,344
[doorbell ringing]
134
00:06:12,379 --> 00:06:13,861
- I'LL GET IT.
135
00:06:16,450 --> 00:06:17,616
- HOWDY.
136
00:06:17,651 --> 00:06:19,217
- LAVERNE, I THOUGHT
YOU WEREN'T COMING.
137
00:06:19,253 --> 00:06:21,920
- WELL, I WASN'T, FOR REASONS
OF WHICH YOU ARE WELL AWARE,
138
00:06:21,955 --> 00:06:23,455
BUT IT'S THANKSGIVIN'.
139
00:06:23,490 --> 00:06:25,824
I DECIDED I WANTED TO BE
WITH A FAMILY.
140
00:06:25,859 --> 00:06:28,397
EVEN IF IT WAS
A DYSFUNCTIONAL ONE.
141
00:06:29,196 --> 00:06:32,230
- LAVERNE!
I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE!
142
00:06:32,266 --> 00:06:34,599
WELCOME. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
JUST IN TIME FOR DINNER.
143
00:06:34,635 --> 00:06:36,368
COME ON, CAROL,
SET ANOTHER PLATE, PLEASE.
144
00:06:36,403 --> 00:06:38,403
- WELL, LISTEN, ALL
THE REGULAR STORES WAS CLOSED
145
00:06:38,438 --> 00:06:39,971
AND I DIDN'T HAVE TIME
TO BAKE ANYTHING
146
00:06:40,007 --> 00:06:42,001
SO HERE'S A LOTTERY TICKET
AND A SLURPEE.
147
00:06:43,243 --> 00:06:45,744
- OKAY EVERYONE!
COME TO THE TABLE!
148
00:06:45,779 --> 00:06:47,879
- ALL RIGHT, LET'S STRAP
ON THE FEED BAG.
149
00:06:47,915 --> 00:06:50,549
- YEAH! LET'S GET ALL
THE TURKEY. YEAH!
150
00:06:50,584 --> 00:06:53,652
- OKAY, EVERYONE TAKE
YOUR ASSIGNED SEAT.
151
00:06:53,687 --> 00:06:55,987
I HOPE YOU LIKE MY SPECIAL
HOLIDAY PLACE CARDS.
152
00:06:56,023 --> 00:06:58,924
I WROTE EACH NAME IN ICING
ON A SUGARLESS COOKIE
153
00:06:58,959 --> 00:07:01,183
CUT INTO
A FUN HOLIDAY SHAPE!
154
00:07:02,029 --> 00:07:03,387
LAVERNE, YOU SIT THERE.
155
00:07:05,265 --> 00:07:06,464
- OOH!
156
00:07:06,492 --> 00:07:08,031
BETTER NOT EAT MY COOKIE,
157
00:07:08,055 --> 00:07:09,893
OR I WON'T KNOW
WHERE I'M SITTING.
158
00:07:14,541 --> 00:07:16,070
- CAN I PICK 'EM?
159
00:07:17,678 --> 00:07:19,144
- I'M FAMISHED.
160
00:07:19,179 --> 00:07:20,512
EVERY YEAR I HAVE THIS RITUAL.
161
00:07:20,547 --> 00:07:23,148
I STARVE MYSELF FOR THREE DAYS
UNTIL THANKSGIVING
162
00:07:23,183 --> 00:07:25,851
THEN I STUFF MY GUT TILL
I HAVE TO UNBUTTON MY PANTS
163
00:07:25,886 --> 00:07:28,368
AND LAY THERE
LIKE A BIG SWOLLEN LUMP.
164
00:07:28,789 --> 00:07:30,775
- OOH, HE'S QUITE A CATCH.
165
00:07:31,992 --> 00:07:34,392
[clinking]
- ATTENTION, PLEASE.
166
00:07:34,428 --> 00:07:36,528
EVERY YEAR AT THIS TIME
I ALWAYS SAY A FEW WORDS.
167
00:07:36,563 --> 00:07:39,264
I'LL TRY NOT TO
BORE YOU THIS YEAR.
168
00:07:39,299 --> 00:07:42,467
- TOO LATE
- [giggling]
169
00:07:42,502 --> 00:07:45,270
- [imitates giggling]
170
00:07:45,305 --> 00:07:47,900
I WOULD LIKE TO PROPOSE
A TOAST.
171
00:07:48,719 --> 00:07:52,764
I WANNA WISH US ALL A WARM
AND WONDERFUL HOLIDAY.
172
00:07:52,795 --> 00:07:55,001
- YEAH, NOT LIKE
THAT THANKSGIVING TWO YEARS AGO,
173
00:07:55,029 --> 00:07:57,365
THE ONE THAT...
SOMEONE RUINED.
174
00:07:57,699 --> 00:07:59,484
- UH, NO, NO,
THIS IS THE TIME OF YEAR
175
00:07:59,519 --> 00:08:01,653
WHEN FRIENDS AND FAMILY
GET TOGETHER.
176
00:08:01,688 --> 00:08:04,222
- YES, THAT WAS
THE THANKSGIVIN' FROM HELL
177
00:08:04,258 --> 00:08:07,559
RUINED BY A CERTAIN SOMEONE.
- UH--UH, LADIES, LADIES,
178
00:08:07,594 --> 00:08:09,561
COME ON. LET'S NOT TALK
ABOUT THAT THANKSGIVING.
179
00:08:09,596 --> 00:08:11,162
- WELL, THERE'S NOT MUCH
TO TALK ABOUT
180
00:08:11,198 --> 00:08:12,697
EXCEPT THAT IT WAS
LAVERNE'S FAULT.
181
00:08:12,733 --> 00:08:14,032
- WAS NOT!
- IT WAS TOO!
182
00:08:14,067 --> 00:08:15,567
- CAROL, LAVERNE, PLEASE!
LET'S...
183
00:08:15,602 --> 00:08:16,956
- SORRY, DOCTOR.
184
00:08:17,004 --> 00:08:18,136
THE FIRE WAS YOUR FAULT.
185
00:08:18,171 --> 00:08:19,771
- IT WAS NOT!
- THERE WAS A FIRE?
186
00:08:19,806 --> 00:08:21,940
- NO! NO, PATRICK.
THERE WAS AN INCIDENT.
187
00:08:21,975 --> 00:08:25,510
SOMEHOW THE OVEN CAUGHT ON FIRE
AND THE TURKEY GOT BURNED AND...
188
00:08:25,545 --> 00:08:28,032
WE ALL ENDED UP
EATING AT DENNY'S.
189
00:08:30,229 --> 00:08:32,635
YOU KNOW,
WHEN THE MAYFLOWER LANDED...
190
00:08:32,667 --> 00:08:34,486
- WHOA. WAIT A SECOND.
WHAT HAPPENED?
191
00:08:34,521 --> 00:08:36,380
- AH! NOBODY KNOWS.
192
00:08:36,419 --> 00:08:37,722
- OH, I KNOW!
193
00:08:37,758 --> 00:08:40,558
I REMEMBER THAT EVENING
VERY CLEARLY.
194
00:08:41,929 --> 00:08:43,261
BARBARA WAS WORKING,
195
00:08:43,297 --> 00:08:45,196
DADDY AND LAVERNE
WERE WATCHING THE PARADE
196
00:08:45,232 --> 00:08:47,578
AND I WAS DOING
ALL THE WORK MYSELF.
197
00:08:47,609 --> 00:08:48,859
AS USUAL.
198
00:08:49,878 --> 00:08:51,778
[vacuuming]
199
00:08:51,813 --> 00:08:53,313
- CAROL, MORE POPCORN.
200
00:08:53,348 --> 00:08:55,253
- ALREADY POPPING,
DADDY.
201
00:08:55,292 --> 00:08:58,502
- YEAH! BRING ME ANOTHER
WHITE LIGHTNIN' ON THE ROCKS.
202
00:08:59,654 --> 00:09:00,878
- COMING RIGHT UP.
203
00:09:00,904 --> 00:09:02,204
SHAKEN OR STIRRED?
204
00:09:02,239 --> 00:09:04,740
- JUST THROW SOME ICE CUBES
IN A JELLY JAR
205
00:09:04,775 --> 00:09:06,672
AND BRING A JUG ON IN HERE.
206
00:09:06,777 --> 00:09:07,843
- [laughing]
207
00:09:07,878 --> 00:09:09,211
[phone ringing]
208
00:09:09,246 --> 00:09:10,512
I'LL GET IT.
209
00:09:10,547 --> 00:09:11,680
HELLO.
210
00:09:11,715 --> 00:09:13,448
OH, HELLO, BARRY.
211
00:09:13,484 --> 00:09:15,717
TONIGHT?
SORRY, I CAN'T.
212
00:09:15,753 --> 00:09:17,986
WHAT?
OKAY, THEN IT'S OVER.
213
00:09:18,022 --> 00:09:19,523
GOOD-BYE.
214
00:09:20,924 --> 00:09:22,820
- WHO THE HELL WAS THAT?
215
00:09:23,227 --> 00:09:25,927
- BARRY HUDSON.
- BARRY HUDSON?
216
00:09:25,963 --> 00:09:28,397
THE BILLIONAIRE
MOVIE STUDIO EXECUTIVE?
217
00:09:28,432 --> 00:09:31,366
- YES. HE HAD HIS LEARJET
AT THE PALM BEACH AIRPORT.
218
00:09:31,402 --> 00:09:34,302
HE WANTED TO WHISK ME
TO SAINT CROIX FOR THE WEEKEND.
219
00:09:34,338 --> 00:09:35,858
I DUMPED HIM.
220
00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:39,508
IT'S THE HOLIDAYS.
MY FAMILY COMES FIRST.
221
00:09:40,089 --> 00:09:43,190
- DID I EVER TELL YOU
YOU'RE MY HERO?
222
00:09:44,448 --> 00:09:46,081
- OH, LAVERNE...
223
00:09:46,116 --> 00:09:47,149
[doorbell ringing]
224
00:09:47,184 --> 00:09:49,151
DON'T BOTHER!
I'LL GET IT.
225
00:09:49,319 --> 00:09:50,749
NO, NO, NO.
226
00:09:52,656 --> 00:09:53,822
- HI, WESTONS!
227
00:09:53,857 --> 00:09:55,891
THIS IS MY HOLIDAY SQUEEZE,
LORNA.
228
00:09:55,926 --> 00:09:57,981
SHE'S A LAMBADA DANCER.
229
00:09:58,595 --> 00:10:00,662
- IT'S NOT JUST A PASSING FAD.
230
00:10:00,698 --> 00:10:04,131
LAMBADA WILL BE WITH US
FOR A LONG, LONG TIME.
231
00:10:05,502 --> 00:10:07,956
- I GOT A LOT
TO BE THANKFUL FOR.
232
00:10:08,539 --> 00:10:11,873
- CHARLEY, LORNA.
I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE.
233
00:10:11,909 --> 00:10:12,955
COME IN.
234
00:10:12,979 --> 00:10:15,510
OUR HOME IS BRIGHTENED
BY YOUR PRESENCE.
235
00:10:15,546 --> 00:10:17,412
- HEY, WHEN'S DINNER?
WE'RE STARVED.
236
00:10:17,448 --> 00:10:18,698
- IT'S COMING RIGHT UP.
237
00:10:18,744 --> 00:10:21,016
WE HAD A TEENSY PROBLEM
WITH THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL.
238
00:10:21,051 --> 00:10:22,918
- ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
I'LL TAKE A LOOK AT IT.
239
00:10:22,953 --> 00:10:24,853
- DON'T BOTHER.
I'LL GET IT.
240
00:10:24,888 --> 00:10:27,787
- I'D HELP YOU,
BUT MY LEGS IS NUMB.
241
00:10:29,059 --> 00:10:33,295
- OH, LAVERNE!
[laughing]
242
00:10:33,330 --> 00:10:36,298
[William Tell Overture
playing]
243
00:10:36,333 --> 00:10:44,406
244
00:10:54,852 --> 00:10:56,384
[toaster oven dings]
245
00:10:56,420 --> 00:10:58,687
- [Harry] CAROL, COME ON!
WHERE'S THE POPCORN?
246
00:10:58,722 --> 00:11:00,622
- [Laverne]
CAROL, MORE MOONSHINE!
247
00:11:00,657 --> 00:11:02,334
- COMING!
248
00:11:05,095 --> 00:11:06,495
LAVERNE, I HATE TO ASK,
249
00:11:06,530 --> 00:11:09,131
BUT WOULD YOU DO ME
THE TEENSIEST FAVOR?
250
00:11:09,696 --> 00:11:11,017
- NO.
251
00:11:12,981 --> 00:11:15,303
- PLEASE, JUST TURN THE OVEN
UP A SMIDGE
252
00:11:15,339 --> 00:11:18,507
FROM 350 TO 375 DEGREES?
253
00:11:18,542 --> 00:11:21,234
- NAG, NAG, NAG.
254
00:11:21,912 --> 00:11:24,479
I KNEW YOU COULDN'T
COOK A TURKEY BY YOURSELF.
255
00:11:24,515 --> 00:11:26,982
- [laughing]
OH, LAVERNE!
256
00:11:27,017 --> 00:11:31,052
AND REMEMBER, JUST TURN
THE OVEN UP A TINY BIT.
257
00:11:35,292 --> 00:11:37,359
NEXT THING WE KNEW,
THE KITCHEN WAS ON FIRE.
258
00:11:37,394 --> 00:11:39,060
- [barking]
- IF DREYFUSS HADN'T WARNED US,
259
00:11:39,096 --> 00:11:40,929
THE WHOLE HOUSE
WOULD'VE BURNED DOWN.
260
00:11:40,964 --> 00:11:42,864
- [barking]
261
00:11:42,900 --> 00:11:44,336
- SO THAT'S THE STORY.
262
00:11:44,368 --> 00:11:48,367
LAVERNE ACCIDENTALLY TURNED
THE OVEN UP TO 600 DEGREES.
263
00:11:49,006 --> 00:11:51,072
- WITH ALL DUE RESPECT,
DOCTOR,
264
00:11:51,108 --> 00:11:54,000
YOUR DAUGHTER IS ONE STRAW SHORT
OF A HAYSTACK.
265
00:11:54,945 --> 00:11:57,646
- LADIES, PLEASE!
IT WAS TWO YEARS AGO!
266
00:11:57,681 --> 00:12:00,382
- OH, DADDY, THERE'S NO STATUTE
OF LIMITATIONS ON THE TRUTH.
267
00:12:00,417 --> 00:12:02,418
- OR ON BEIN' NUTS.
268
00:12:03,287 --> 00:12:05,353
- LOOK, I'M SORRY I ASKED
ABOUT THE WHOLE THING.
269
00:12:05,389 --> 00:12:06,521
LET'S EAT.
270
00:12:06,557 --> 00:12:09,124
- OH,
MY POOR EMACIATED DARLING.
271
00:12:09,159 --> 00:12:10,258
I'LL GO GET THE TURKEY.
272
00:12:10,294 --> 00:12:11,993
- YES!
- HOLD ON, MISSY...
273
00:12:12,029 --> 00:12:13,495
NOBODY'S EATIN'
TILL I TELL YUNS
274
00:12:13,530 --> 00:12:14,896
WHAT REALLY HAPPENED THAT DAY.
275
00:12:16,319 --> 00:12:19,334
NICK WAS PLAYIN' WINTER BALL
FOR THE CARACAS CARDINALS
276
00:12:19,369 --> 00:12:20,769
AND THE WESTONS
WAS NICE ENOUGH
277
00:12:20,804 --> 00:12:22,537
TO INVITE ME
FOR THANKSGIVIN'.
278
00:12:22,573 --> 00:12:24,906
- LAVERNE, DEAR, YOU REALLY
DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT.
279
00:12:24,942 --> 00:12:27,943
- NONSENSE.
I AM YOUR HUMBLE EMPLOYEE
280
00:12:27,978 --> 00:12:29,477
AND THE LEAST I CAN DO
281
00:12:29,513 --> 00:12:32,885
IS MAKE SURE YOU'VE GOT PERFECT
RECEPTION FOR THE PARADE.
282
00:12:33,350 --> 00:12:34,482
THERE!
283
00:12:34,518 --> 00:12:36,016
- HI, WESTONS!
284
00:12:36,253 --> 00:12:38,615
THIS IS MY HOLIDAY SQUEEZE,
LAYLANEE.
285
00:12:38,643 --> 00:12:40,989
SHE'S A HOSTESS AT
"THE BLUE TORCH" RESTAURANT.
286
00:12:41,024 --> 00:12:43,966
- HI, HOW MANY ARE YOU?
[giggles]
287
00:12:44,962 --> 00:12:47,329
- I'VE GOT A LOT
TO BE THANKFUL FOR.
288
00:12:47,364 --> 00:12:50,065
- OH WELL, WELCOME,
LAYLANEE, WELCOME.
289
00:12:50,100 --> 00:12:51,533
PLEASE COME IN.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
290
00:12:51,568 --> 00:12:53,869
SIT DOWN. WATCH THE PARADE.
LAVERNE, YOU TOO.
291
00:12:53,904 --> 00:12:56,238
- NO, THANKS, DOCTOR, I'D BETTER
HELP CAROL IN THE KITCHEN,
292
00:12:56,273 --> 00:12:58,006
THAT GIRL SEEMS
A MIGHT FRAZZLED.
293
00:12:58,041 --> 00:13:00,942
- [Carol crying]
- DON'T WORRY, DARLIN'.
294
00:13:00,978 --> 00:13:02,744
LAVERNE'S COMIN' TO SOLVE
ALL YOUR PROBLEMS.
295
00:13:02,779 --> 00:13:03,979
- LAVERNE, LAVERNE.
296
00:13:04,014 --> 00:13:06,414
IF IT'S A BROKEN DISPOSAL,
I CAN FIX IT.
297
00:13:06,450 --> 00:13:08,051
- I WOULDN'T TRY
THAT HANDYMAN STUFF.
298
00:13:08,083 --> 00:13:09,346
YOU MIGHT GET HURT.
299
00:13:09,385 --> 00:13:11,053
WE ALL MIGHT GET HURT.
300
00:13:12,923 --> 00:13:14,309
ARE YOU OKAY?
301
00:13:15,555 --> 00:13:17,435
- I'M FINE, LAVERNE.
FINE.
302
00:13:18,931 --> 00:13:21,830
OH, LAVERNE,
MY DATE DUMPED ME.
303
00:13:21,865 --> 00:13:26,034
- OH! YOU FRETTIN'
OVER SOME FELLA.
304
00:13:26,069 --> 00:13:28,470
- HE WAS THE BEST THING
THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME.
305
00:13:28,505 --> 00:13:32,461
BARRY HUDSON,
THE UNEMPLOYED MOVIE USHER.
306
00:13:34,011 --> 00:13:37,445
- NOW, THERE'S PLENTY OTHER
CARP IN THE CREEK.
307
00:13:37,481 --> 00:13:39,283
- NOT LIKE BARRY.
308
00:13:39,408 --> 00:13:41,983
- NO, NO, NO. YOU'RE EATIN'
ALL THE PUMPKIN PIE
309
00:13:42,019 --> 00:13:44,152
SO THERE'LL BE NONE LEFT
FOR YOUR DADDY AND THE GUESTS!
310
00:13:44,187 --> 00:13:45,587
- SCREW DADDY!
SCREW THE GUESTS!
311
00:13:45,622 --> 00:13:47,045
- CAROL!
312
00:13:47,892 --> 00:13:49,424
I KNOW YOU'RE HURTIN'.
313
00:13:49,459 --> 00:13:50,592
BUT AT THIS TIME OF YEAR
314
00:13:50,627 --> 00:13:52,727
TRY TO THINK OF THOSE
WORSE OFF THAN YOU.
315
00:13:52,763 --> 00:13:56,197
THINK OF THE POOR INDIANS THAT
WAS MISTREATED BY THE PILGRIMS!
316
00:13:56,233 --> 00:13:58,099
- SCREW THE INDIANS!
SCREW THE PILGRIMS!
317
00:13:58,135 --> 00:14:00,094
- CAROL!
PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER!
318
00:14:00,127 --> 00:14:02,145
NOW I'LL TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING
IN HERE IN THE KITCHEN.
319
00:14:02,182 --> 00:14:03,995
- THIS IS MY KITCHEN!
320
00:14:04,033 --> 00:14:05,717
I'LL DO THE TURKEY MYSELF!
321
00:14:05,752 --> 00:14:07,785
- BUT YOU ARE IN NO SHAPE!
322
00:14:07,821 --> 00:14:09,195
- I'LL BE FINE.
323
00:14:09,219 --> 00:14:10,688
I MAY HAVE LOST
THE MAN IN MY LIFE,
324
00:14:10,724 --> 00:14:12,780
BUT NOT MY TOUCH FOR COOKING.
325
00:14:13,326 --> 00:14:14,726
- THAT IS TOO MUCH BRANDY!
326
00:14:14,761 --> 00:14:16,127
YOU'RE GONNA
SCORCH THE TURKEY!
327
00:14:16,162 --> 00:14:17,729
- OH, PLEASE, LAVERNE!
328
00:14:17,764 --> 00:14:21,165
I THINK I KNOW A LITTLE BIT MORE
ABOUT COOKING THAN YOU DO.
329
00:14:21,201 --> 00:14:24,469
- BUT CAROL, YOU ARE DISTRAUGHT.
LET ME DO THE COOKIN'.
330
00:14:24,504 --> 00:14:27,793
- LAVERNE, PLEASE!
THIS ISN'T A PIG ON A SPIT!
331
00:14:29,075 --> 00:14:31,333
IT REQUIRES DELICACY.
332
00:14:32,112 --> 00:14:36,074
- YOU ARE LOSIN' CONTROL, GIRL.
NOW PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER.
333
00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:53,525
AND THAT'S THE WAY IT WAS.
334
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,226
CAROL KEPT A-SPRITZIN'
THE TURKEY.
335
00:14:55,262 --> 00:14:59,363
THAT POOR BIRD TOOK ON MORE
BRANDY THAN GRANT AT VICKSBURG.
336
00:15:00,300 --> 00:15:02,467
IT'S NO WONDER
IT CAUGHT A-FIRE.
337
00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:05,103
- I REFUSE
TO TAKE THE BLAME FOR THIS.
338
00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:07,372
- WELL, YOU'RE AS GUILTY
AS MRS. O'LEARY'S COW.
339
00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:08,673
- I AM NOT!
- ARE TOO!
340
00:15:08,708 --> 00:15:09,970
- ENOUGH!
341
00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:12,043
THIS IS THANKSGIVING, DAMN IT!
342
00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:14,406
IT'S A TIME
FOR LOVE AND UNDERSTANDING!
343
00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:16,981
THIS ARGUMENT
IS NOT GONNA CONTINUE.
344
00:15:17,017 --> 00:15:18,216
- FINALLY,
WE'RE GONNA EAT!
345
00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:20,674
- NO, WE'RE NOT GONNA EAT!
346
00:15:21,028 --> 00:15:23,659
I'M GONNA TELL YOU WHAT REALLY
HAPPENED THAT DAY.
347
00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:26,758
WE WERE GONNA HAVE...
348
00:15:26,793 --> 00:15:29,339
KIND OF A HOMEY,
OLD-FASHIONED THANKSGIVING
349
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:35,038
- HI, HARRY!
350
00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:38,096
THIS IS MY HOLIDAY SQUEEZE,
ZANZIBAR.
351
00:15:38,872 --> 00:15:41,308
- WELCOME, ZANZIBAR.
WELCOME.
352
00:15:41,326 --> 00:15:43,441
- ZANZIBAR'S A HOSTESS
ON A TV GAME SHOW.
353
00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:45,476
- WHAT A LOVELY HOME YOU HAVE.
354
00:15:45,606 --> 00:15:48,247
AND HERE'S A HANDSOME CHAIR
MADE OF STYLISH RATTAN
355
00:15:48,271 --> 00:15:50,509
THAT WOULD COMPLEMENT
ANY DECOR.
356
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:54,714
- I GOT A LOT
TO BE THANKFUL FOR.
357
00:15:55,255 --> 00:15:57,388
[banging]
- ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
358
00:15:57,424 --> 00:15:58,990
SEEMS WE'VE GOT
A PROBLEM IN THE KITCHEN.
359
00:15:59,025 --> 00:16:00,425
CHARLEY,
WHY DON'T YOU AND ZANZIBAR
360
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:02,294
WATCH THE PARADE TOGETHER?
- SURE!
361
00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:03,761
- [sighing]
362
00:16:03,797 --> 00:16:05,029
- HICK!
- NUT BUCKET!
363
00:16:05,065 --> 00:16:06,521
- CRACKER!
- YANKEE!
364
00:16:07,359 --> 00:16:09,000
- FINE.
THINGS ARE GOING FINE.
365
00:16:09,035 --> 00:16:10,535
- DADDY,
TELL ATTILA, THE NURSE
366
00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:12,192
TO GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN.
367
00:16:13,006 --> 00:16:14,739
- AND TELL THAT LAMEBRAIN
DAUGHTER OF YOURN
368
00:16:14,774 --> 00:16:16,874
SHE DON'T KNOW SPIT
ABOUT COOKIN' UP A TURKEY.
369
00:16:16,910 --> 00:16:18,876
- LAVERNE, THIS IS DIFFERENT
THAN WHERE YOU GREW UP.
370
00:16:18,912 --> 00:16:20,411
THE KITCHEN IS IN THE HOUSE!
371
00:16:20,447 --> 00:16:22,113
- ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT!
NOW, NOW!
372
00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:23,481
LADIES!
373
00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:26,851
PLEASE! WE HAVE HUNGRY GUESTS.
IF I HAVE TO...
374
00:16:26,886 --> 00:16:29,153
I'LL COOK THAT TURKEY MYSELF.
375
00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:30,788
- NEVER MIND THE THE TURKEY,
DADDY.
376
00:16:30,824 --> 00:16:32,790
WE HAVE BIGGER PROBLEMS.
- WHAT?
377
00:16:32,826 --> 00:16:35,793
- LAVERNE JAMMED RHUBARB
DOWN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL.
378
00:16:35,829 --> 00:16:36,861
IT'S ALL CLOGGED UP.
379
00:16:36,896 --> 00:16:38,096
- IT WASN'T RHUBARB!
380
00:16:38,131 --> 00:16:40,331
IT WAS THAT
DAMN BOK CHOY O'YOURN.
381
00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:42,467
- WE'LL NEVER GET A PLUMBER
TO COME OUT ON THE HOLIDAYS.
382
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:45,269
- [laughing]
WE DON'T NEED A PLUMBER.
383
00:16:45,305 --> 00:16:47,656
CAROL, HAND ME A FLASHLIGHT
AND AN ALLEN WRENCH, PLEASE.
384
00:16:47,687 --> 00:16:50,742
LAVERNE, DOUBLE CHECK THE SWITCH
IS IN THE OFF POSITION.
385
00:16:50,777 --> 00:16:54,643
HERE WE GO!
OKEY-DOKEY! LET'S SEE HERE.
386
00:16:54,802 --> 00:16:57,429
I'LL JUST MAKE SURE
THE RESET BUTTON IS ENGAGED.
387
00:16:57,474 --> 00:17:00,318
NOW I'LL ROTATE
THE ALLEN WRENCH CLOCKWISE
388
00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:02,687
TO FREE UP THE WASTE
AND CLEAR THE DRAIN.
389
00:17:02,722 --> 00:17:04,453
DISPOSAL FIXED.
390
00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:05,894
SWITCH ON.
391
00:17:06,350 --> 00:17:08,226
[disposal running]
392
00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:09,579
SWITCH OFF.
393
00:17:09,763 --> 00:17:11,763
- DADDY,
THAT WAS MASTERFUL!
394
00:17:11,798 --> 00:17:14,654
- WITH HANDS LIKE THAT,
YOU SHOULD'VE BEEN A SURGEON.
395
00:17:15,468 --> 00:17:17,335
- AS LONG AS I'M HERE,
I MAY AS WELL
396
00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:19,637
FIX THAT CLASP THAT SEEMS
TO BE JAMMED HERE.
397
00:17:19,673 --> 00:17:22,407
HERE YOU GO.
[humming]
398
00:17:22,442 --> 00:17:24,976
- WHY, THAT CLASP'S
BEEN BROKEN FOR MONTHS!
399
00:17:25,011 --> 00:17:27,211
NO ONE'S BEEN ABLE
TO FIX IT!
400
00:17:27,247 --> 00:17:28,746
- A CLASP IS JUST A CLASP,
401
00:17:28,782 --> 00:17:31,374
BUT THERE IS ONE THING,
LADIES, YOU CAN NEVER MEND...
402
00:17:31,403 --> 00:17:33,014
THAT'S A BROKEN FRIENDSHIP.
403
00:17:36,416 --> 00:17:38,456
- THE DOCTOR'S
NOT ONLY HANDY.
404
00:17:38,491 --> 00:17:39,724
HE'S WISE.
405
00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:42,421
- THAT'S WHY
WE CALL HIM "DADDY".
406
00:17:43,863 --> 00:17:46,130
- TURN THAT OVEN ON! WE'VE GOT
A TOM TURKEY TO TACKLE.
407
00:17:46,166 --> 00:17:47,465
- COME ON, LAVERNE.
408
00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:49,796
I'LL BASTE THE TURKEY,
YOU SERVE THE STUFFING.
409
00:17:49,826 --> 00:17:52,031
- ALL RIGHT,
WE'LL DO IT TOGETHER.
410
00:17:54,874 --> 00:17:57,092
WHERE I COME FROM,
STUFFIN' IS CRUNCHY.
411
00:17:57,108 --> 00:17:58,309
THIS AIN'T CRUNCHY!
412
00:17:58,342 --> 00:17:59,711
- YOU CALLING MY STUFFING
SOGGY?
413
00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:02,030
- I'M CALLIN' IT SLOP!
- [groaning]
414
00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:04,415
- [barking]
- NEXT THING WE KNEW,
415
00:18:04,451 --> 00:18:05,616
THE KITCHEN WAS ON FIRE.
416
00:18:05,652 --> 00:18:06,884
IF DREYFUSS
HADN'T WARNED US,
417
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:08,713
THE WHOLE HOUSE
WOULD'VE BURNED DOWN.
418
00:18:09,556 --> 00:18:11,656
THEY GOT SO INVOLVED
IN FIGHTING,
419
00:18:11,691 --> 00:18:13,257
THEY FORGOT
ABOUT THE TURKEY.
420
00:18:13,293 --> 00:18:15,293
THAT'S THE STORY.
CASE CLOSED.
421
00:18:15,328 --> 00:18:18,863
- THAT'S NOT WHAT HAPPENED!
- COMPLETELY WRONG!
422
00:18:18,898 --> 00:18:20,768
- HARRY, HARRY, HARRY...
423
00:18:20,858 --> 00:18:23,101
THEY SAY YOUR MIND'S
THE SECOND THING TO GO
424
00:18:23,136 --> 00:18:25,222
WHEN YOU GET OLDER.
- [giggling]
425
00:18:25,853 --> 00:18:28,647
- LET ME TELL YOU
WHAT REALLY HAPPENED.
426
00:18:29,342 --> 00:18:31,142
- LOOK, IF YOU DON'T HAVE
ANY TURKEY, YOU KNOW,
427
00:18:31,177 --> 00:18:33,509
ANY KIND OF DEAD BIRD
WOULD BE FINE, REALLY.
428
00:18:34,995 --> 00:18:39,533
- I REMEMBER EXACTLY THE WAY IT
WAS ON THAT FATEFUL TURKEY DAY.
429
00:18:41,264 --> 00:18:42,564
UNTIL I SHOWED UP,
430
00:18:42,599 --> 00:18:44,783
THE WESTON PARTY HAD ALL
THE EXCITEMENT OF...
431
00:18:45,335 --> 00:18:46,974
A WESTON PARTY.
432
00:18:48,004 --> 00:18:50,972
HAVE NO FEAR!
DIETZ IS HERE!
433
00:18:51,007 --> 00:18:53,970
- HEY, EVERYONE!
IT'S CHARLEY!
434
00:18:54,326 --> 00:18:56,744
- OH, THAT FUNNY, WACKY NEIGHBOR!
I JUST LOVE HIM!
435
00:18:56,780 --> 00:19:00,348
- MY BUD!
MY MAIN MAN! HEY!
436
00:19:00,383 --> 00:19:03,284
- LET ME INTRODUCE YOU
TO MY HOLIDAY SQUEEZES,
437
00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:06,366
THE TOPALDO TWINS,
COREEN AND DOREEN!
438
00:19:09,559 --> 00:19:13,161
COREEN WAS BORN AT 5:15.
DOREEN WAS BORN AT 5:19.
439
00:19:13,196 --> 00:19:16,158
NATURALLY, I'M ATTRACTED
TO THE YOUNGER ONE.
440
00:19:17,434 --> 00:19:19,868
I'VE GOT A LOT
TO BE THANKFUL FOR.
441
00:19:19,903 --> 00:19:22,504
- OH, CHARLEY,
WE'RE DESPERATE FOR LAUGHS.
442
00:19:22,539 --> 00:19:24,339
DO THAT SOUND THING YOU DO.
443
00:19:24,374 --> 00:19:26,504
- WELL...OKAY.
444
00:19:27,277 --> 00:19:28,443
[armpit sound]
445
00:19:28,478 --> 00:19:31,613
- [squealing and laughing]
446
00:19:31,648 --> 00:19:34,849
- OH, YEAH!
HE'S INCREDIBLE! THE MAN!
447
00:19:34,885 --> 00:19:38,858
THE MAN! THE MAN! THE MAN!
IT'S BEAUTIFUL! YEAH!
448
00:19:39,523 --> 00:19:40,889
- HEY, I'M SORRY I CAN'T STAY.
449
00:19:40,924 --> 00:19:42,123
THERE'S A BASH AT KEY BISCAYNE
450
00:19:42,158 --> 00:19:44,192
WHERE THEY DO WEIRD THINGS
WITH CRANBERRY SAUCE
451
00:19:44,227 --> 00:19:46,227
AND LEGAL SECRETARIES!
452
00:19:46,263 --> 00:19:48,730
- EXCUSE US HERE.
CHARLEY, COME HERE.
453
00:19:48,765 --> 00:19:49,898
COME HERE, CHARLEY.
454
00:19:49,933 --> 00:19:52,004
TAKE ME WITH YOU,
I NEED A LITTLE ACTION.
455
00:19:52,469 --> 00:19:55,403
- HARRY, YOU BELONG HERE,
WITH YOUR FAMILY.
456
00:19:55,438 --> 00:19:56,638
- WELL, SCREW MY FAMILY.
457
00:19:56,673 --> 00:19:58,339
I MEAN LOOK AT THEM THERE.
458
00:19:58,375 --> 00:20:00,742
COME ON! YOU GOT TWO BABES!
YOU DON'T NEED 'EM BOTH.
459
00:20:00,777 --> 00:20:03,545
- IF I FIND TRIPLETS,
ONE OF THEM'S YOURS.
460
00:20:03,580 --> 00:20:05,547
- REALLY?
YOU'RE NOT JERKIN' ME AROUND?
461
00:20:05,582 --> 00:20:06,981
- IT'S A PROMISE.
462
00:20:07,017 --> 00:20:09,742
- HO HO, GO LOW, MY BRO!
YEAH!
463
00:20:13,223 --> 00:20:14,756
- AND THAT'S THE WAY IT WAS.
464
00:20:14,791 --> 00:20:16,282
- WHAT ABOUT THE FIRE?
465
00:20:16,693 --> 00:20:18,293
- THERE WAS A FIRE?
466
00:20:19,930 --> 00:20:21,329
- CHARLEY, THAT'S INSANE!
467
00:20:21,364 --> 00:20:23,298
LOOK, NOBODY'S GONNA FIND
ANY ANSWERS HERE.
468
00:20:23,333 --> 00:20:26,134
- I GUESS WE'LL NEVER REALLY
KNOW WHO STARTED THE FIRE.
469
00:20:30,849 --> 00:20:34,075
- EVERY YEAR AT THIS TIME,
I MIGHT SAY A FEW WORDS.
470
00:20:34,110 --> 00:20:36,277
THIS YEAR,
I'LL TRY NOT TO BORE YOU.
471
00:20:36,313 --> 00:20:39,414
- TOO LATE.
- [laughing]
472
00:20:39,449 --> 00:20:41,683
- YEAH...UH...ANYWAY...
473
00:20:41,718 --> 00:20:44,152
THANKSGIVING IS A TIME
FOR PEOPLE TO GET CLOSER.
474
00:20:44,187 --> 00:20:46,588
- HEAR, HEAR!
I AGREE WITH THAT.
475
00:20:46,623 --> 00:20:48,775
CLOSENESS IS GOOD.
476
00:20:48,804 --> 00:20:51,960
[suspense music playing]
477
00:20:51,995 --> 00:21:00,001
478
00:21:09,165 --> 00:21:11,479
- YEAH, I GUESS
WE'LL NEVER KNOW WHO DID IT.
479
00:21:11,514 --> 00:21:14,235
LET'S SEE IF THAT TURKEY
HAS COOLED OFF YET.
480
00:21:14,517 --> 00:21:17,729
- YOU KNOW, I WASN'T THERE
THAT THANKSGIVING.
481
00:21:17,921 --> 00:21:20,254
BUT I SAW
JFK THE MOVIE, AND...
482
00:21:20,290 --> 00:21:23,858
I HAVE A THEORY.
PERHAPS THERE WERE TWO TURKEYS.
483
00:21:26,796 --> 00:21:28,890
- PERHAPS THERE ARE THREE.
484
00:21:31,437 --> 00:21:34,035
- EVERYBODY GET IN THE CAR.
WE'RE GOING TO DENNY'S.
485
00:21:34,070 --> 00:21:35,525
- COOL!
486
00:21:36,850 --> 00:21:38,506
- WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?
487
00:21:38,541 --> 00:21:40,089
- TAKE A LOOK.
488
00:22:04,921 --> 00:22:06,335
- IT NEVER FAILS.
489
00:22:06,366 --> 00:22:09,300
SOMEONE ALWAYS OVEREATS
AT THANKSGIVIN'.
490
00:22:09,335 --> 00:22:11,569
- WELL, THE HOLIDAYS
CAN BE TOUGH.
491
00:22:11,604 --> 00:22:13,404
I'M SORRY I BLAMED YOU
FOR EVERYTHING.
492
00:22:13,439 --> 00:22:16,374
- OH, IT'S ANCIENT HISTORY.
IT'S NOT WORTH FIGHTIN' OVER.
493
00:22:16,409 --> 00:22:17,675
- I'M GLAD YOU CAME,
LAVERNE.
494
00:22:17,710 --> 00:22:19,744
- SO AM I.
HERE, HON.
495
00:22:19,779 --> 00:22:21,846
IT'S AN ANCIENT REMEDY
FROM BACK HOME.
496
00:22:21,881 --> 00:22:24,236
- THANK YOU, LAVERNE.
THIS SHOULD DO THE TRICK.
497
00:22:25,485 --> 00:22:27,111
HERE YOU GO, DREYF.
498
00:22:28,454 --> 00:22:30,621
[lapping up water]
499
00:22:30,657 --> 00:22:32,490
THERE WE GO.
500
00:22:32,540 --> 00:22:37,090
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