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Previously on "Casual"...
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- Hey. So, um, I talked to Dad.
- Mm-hmm.
3
00:00:04,487 --> 00:00:08,310
And he said he'd pay
for half of my tattoo removal
4
00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:09,366
if you paid for the other half.
5
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Really?
6
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I just think that's something
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that you should have talked
to me about first.
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Why would you lie to me
about the tattoo?
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Because I'm a teenager.
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If you want it removed,
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you can earn the money yourself.
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All of it.
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Fine.
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What am I supposed to do with this?
15
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Whatever you want.
16
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It's your dad.
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Let's do a night out in Burbank.
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This is where we came from.
19
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This is the land of our roots,
20
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so let's see it one last time
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and spread his ashes and be free.
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Dad, you were less than perfect,
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but you were there.
24
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I don't hate you,
25
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and I hope you find your peace.
26
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It was unkind,
27
00:00:47,363 --> 00:00:49,155
what you did to Valerie.
28
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I don't know if you're lonely.
29
00:00:50,533 --> 00:00:51,825
I assume you must be.
30
00:00:51,826 --> 00:00:53,702
But telling her about some secret father
31
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isn't gonna bring her back to you.
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Not just a father.
33
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A brother too.
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A half brother just like you.
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What is normal, anyway?
36
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Right? Whose standard are we using?
37
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I feel normal.
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Normal enough.
39
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I mean, 60 years ago,
40
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we gave "abnormal" people shock therapy,
41
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and now we hold parades with them.
42
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Wonderful, colorful parades
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full of happiness and joy,
and who's to say
44
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some day they won't throw
a parade for me?
45
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Do you want a parade?
46
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Of course not. Nobody would show up.
47
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I'm just saying, it's a continuum.
48
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It's a sliding scale.
49
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And you're happy with where
you're at on that scale.
50
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Yeah, I feel good.
51
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I mean, that's not to say
that I'm fixed.
52
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That would imply that I was broken,
53
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and I'm definitely not broken.
54
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I just feel ready.
55
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You're ready.
56
00:02:06,670 --> 00:02:07,525
Yeah, to move forward. To move on.
57
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To... move forward.
58
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To move on? To move on.
59
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To move forward.
60
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Right. Um, okay.
61
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You just killed your father.
62
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You found out that your sister's
your half sister
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and that she has another half brother.
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Mm, yeah, I'm not sure how I feel
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about using the word "kill."
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It's more like I was
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death's assistant, hmm?
68
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His right-hand man.
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Look, I'm fine.
70
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I've got a pitch lined up.
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Leon and I are getting ribs later.
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I feel good.
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I feel really, really good.
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Okay.
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Well, if you change your mind,
76
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door's always open.
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Hey, maybe you and I
should get ribs sometime.
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I'll bill you for our sessions.
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Cool.
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Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
81
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Yes, no, I hear you, and I'm coming in
82
00:03:01,664 --> 00:03:02,914
right now, Lacey,
83
00:03:02,915 --> 00:03:04,958
and we can talk all about it, okay?
84
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It's open.
85
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No, that wasn't to you.
86
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Uh, but I'll be there soon, okay?
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Bye.
88
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Oh, Leon, you're a lifesaver.
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You're an absolute fucking lifesaver.
90
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Okay, watch your head.
91
00:03:20,266 --> 00:03:22,517
The movers are gonna be here
between 10:00 and 12:00,
92
00:03:22,518 --> 00:03:23,893
but who knows?
93
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They also said I'd have a table
two weeks ago.
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00:03:26,188 --> 00:03:27,480
Are you sure this is okay?
95
00:03:27,481 --> 00:03:29,315
Y-yes. No, you're doing me a favor.
96
00:03:29,316 --> 00:03:31,359
They're doing construction
outside my apartment.
97
00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:33,236
Oh, that's great.
Okay, good. You're welcome.
98
00:03:33,237 --> 00:03:34,988
I... I think the table's gonna really
99
00:03:34,989 --> 00:03:36,906
bring the room together, don't you?
100
00:03:36,907 --> 00:03:38,533
I mean, I'm using this, um,
101
00:03:38,534 --> 00:03:41,369
sustainably harvested wood,
all reclaimed.
102
00:03:41,370 --> 00:03:43,580
I'm not entirely sure
what it means, but...
103
00:03:43,581 --> 00:03:45,165
it feels good to help.
104
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That sounds lovely.
105
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Um, maybe you could text me some photos
106
00:03:48,586 --> 00:03:50,295
when it's in?
107
00:03:50,296 --> 00:03:51,463
I'll be sure to.
108
00:03:51,464 --> 00:03:53,298
A couple perspectives. Maybe three.
109
00:03:53,299 --> 00:03:54,924
You don't have to go out to the patio.
110
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Uh, is, um, Laura around?
111
00:03:57,178 --> 00:03:58,595
Actually, no.
112
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- She's at work.
- Oh.
113
00:04:00,848 --> 00:04:02,265
All right, have the best time.
114
00:04:02,266 --> 00:04:03,225
Thank you, Leon.
115
00:04:03,226 --> 00:04:04,392
Yeah, no worries.
116
00:04:04,393 --> 00:04:05,602
Bye.
117
00:04:06,645 --> 00:04:07,687
Each week, we'll meet here,
118
00:04:07,688 --> 00:04:08,688
and you'll be driven
119
00:04:08,689 --> 00:04:10,640
to high foot traffic locations.
120
00:04:10,650 --> 00:04:11,399
Home Depots are popular.
121
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Best Buy.
122
00:04:12,319 --> 00:04:13,776
I'm a Ralphs guy myself.
123
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Shifts are eight hours,
124
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and you'll be given one or two
125
00:04:16,572 --> 00:04:18,114
different ballot initiatives.
126
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Big Sooners fan?
127
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What?
128
00:04:21,244 --> 00:04:23,870
Was there a question?
129
00:04:23,871 --> 00:04:24,913
Uh, yeah.
130
00:04:24,914 --> 00:04:27,499
Um, compensation-wise,
131
00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:28,750
what are we looking at?
132
00:04:28,751 --> 00:04:29,918
You know, 'cause the Craigslist ad
133
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said up to two grand a week.
134
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That's certainly possible.
135
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All right, 'cause I...
I have a monetary goal
136
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that I'm kind of working toward.
137
00:04:36,675 --> 00:04:39,135
It's, uh, 65 a signature.
138
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Dollars?
139
00:04:40,346 --> 00:04:41,346
Cents.
140
00:04:41,347 --> 00:04:42,347
These are ballot props,
141
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not credit card applications.
142
00:04:48,103 --> 00:04:50,605
Did it come?
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No, not yet.
144
00:04:51,857 --> 00:04:54,234
Ugh, delivery people are the worst.
145
00:04:54,235 --> 00:04:57,237
- Just the snooty ones.
- Well, true.
146
00:04:57,238 --> 00:04:59,197
The family-run ones
with the illegal immigrants
147
00:04:59,198 --> 00:05:01,115
who are just trying to make
a life for themselves
148
00:05:01,116 --> 00:05:02,659
but are too afraid to step out in public
149
00:05:02,660 --> 00:05:05,370
for fear of deportation are great.
150
00:05:05,371 --> 00:05:07,380
My brother-in-law was a delivery guy,
151
00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:10,250
and he used to just pee
on the floor for no reason.
152
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That's, uh...
153
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- That's awful.
- Yeah, it was.
154
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But he was just a raging alcoholic
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whose liver basically exploded
at a Cracker Barrel.
156
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- Jesus.
- I know.
157
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Cracker Barrels are also the worst.
158
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Where are Tom and Lacey?
159
00:05:28,227 --> 00:05:30,436
Oh, they're running late.
160
00:05:34,191 --> 00:05:36,693
It's like "The Hunger Games" out there.
161
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Only no one looks like Liam Hemsworth.
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Maybe Luke Hemsworth.
163
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There's no such thing
as a "Luke Hemsworth."
164
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I mean, what happened to all the jobs
165
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that were promised to my generation?
166
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That's the generation before yours.
167
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The only thing you get is blame
for national apathy.
168
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Ugh.
169
00:05:52,877 --> 00:05:54,335
Hey, if you're really that desperate,
170
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donate your body to medical research.
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I guess I could sell my eggs.
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They're fresh as they'll ever be.
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I'm telling you, those studies
kept me afloat before Snooger.
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Here, I found this
in literally eight seconds.
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"Wanted, sexually active teens
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between 15 and 19."
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$1,500 a pop.
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Shit, really?
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Yep. Come on, I'll drive you.
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Least I can do for your generation.
181
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I mean, it's obvious.
182
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It's not obvious,
183
00:06:42,384 --> 00:06:43,718
because it's not true.
184
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He got a Samsung. Who gets a Samsung?
185
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61 million people
in the U. S., to be exact.
186
00:06:48,349 --> 00:06:50,475
He's only doing this so none
of our technology syncs,
187
00:06:50,476 --> 00:06:53,227
and his pervy little messages
don't pop up on my iPad.
188
00:06:53,228 --> 00:06:55,313
I simply prefer the Android
operating system.
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To cheat with.
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00:06:56,690 --> 00:06:59,108
The phone is customizable,
it's waterproof,
191
00:06:59,109 --> 00:07:00,568
and I can use whatever apps I want.
192
00:07:00,569 --> 00:07:02,195
They explode in your fucking hands.
193
00:07:02,196 --> 00:07:04,280
- That's an urban myth.
- Okay, take it on a plane.
194
00:07:04,281 --> 00:07:05,698
You'll end up on a terrorist watch list.
195
00:07:05,699 --> 00:07:08,348
That's a completely different model. It...
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00:07:08,911 --> 00:07:10,453
Will you please tell her
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00:07:10,454 --> 00:07:12,247
that I didn't cheat?
198
00:07:14,830 --> 00:07:15,333
- Lacey...
- Wait.
199
00:07:15,334 --> 00:07:16,918
Are you taking his side?
200
00:07:16,919 --> 00:07:18,440
Um, I... I haven't...
201
00:07:18,450 --> 00:07:19,379
I haven't said anything yet.
202
00:07:19,380 --> 00:07:20,797
Okay, can I just say one thing
203
00:07:20,798 --> 00:07:22,757
that I realized in the middle
of cardio barre
204
00:07:22,758 --> 00:07:24,759
about how seriously fucked up
and pathological
205
00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:26,428
this whole situation is?
206
00:07:27,471 --> 00:07:28,513
Uh, yeah. Of course.
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00:07:28,514 --> 00:07:29,890
Go ahead.
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00:07:32,101 --> 00:07:33,768
Now I fucking forgot.
209
00:07:39,441 --> 00:07:41,693
It's 100% "La Kwaw."
210
00:07:41,694 --> 00:07:43,611
Everyone at Boingo said "La Croy."
211
00:07:43,612 --> 00:07:44,862
Like, everybody.
212
00:07:44,863 --> 00:07:46,656
Okay, it means "the cross" in French,
213
00:07:46,657 --> 00:07:48,991
so we should pronounce it
the way the French intended.
214
00:07:48,992 --> 00:07:50,785
Uh, except this is America,
215
00:07:50,786 --> 00:07:52,328
and it's an American company.
216
00:07:52,329 --> 00:07:54,664
Irrelevant.
217
00:07:54,665 --> 00:07:55,748
Can I help you?
218
00:07:55,749 --> 00:07:56,709
Yeah, Alex Cole.
219
00:07:56,710 --> 00:07:57,710
Here to see Brent and Ryan.
220
00:07:57,711 --> 00:07:59,100
I live in "Los Feeliz."
221
00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:00,795
We don't pronounce it "Los Feleez."
222
00:08:00,796 --> 00:08:03,470
Right, 'cause we're racist
against Mexicans
223
00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:05,490
and trying to subvert their language.
224
00:08:05,500 --> 00:08:07,301
Sorry, who are you here to see again?
225
00:08:07,302 --> 00:08:08,344
Brent and Ryan.
226
00:08:08,345 --> 00:08:09,637
Well, that's ridiculous.
227
00:08:09,638 --> 00:08:10,972
What about St. Croix?
228
00:08:10,973 --> 00:08:12,807
We don't pronounce it "St. Kwaw."
229
00:08:12,808 --> 00:08:14,684
- Excuse me.
- You can just take a seat.
230
00:08:14,685 --> 00:08:16,644
Uh, can I get you some water?
231
00:08:16,645 --> 00:08:17,979
Maybe a "La Kwaw"?
232
00:08:17,980 --> 00:08:19,981
We've got lemon, lime, pamplemousse...
233
00:08:19,982 --> 00:08:21,650
I'm fine.
234
00:08:27,281 --> 00:08:29,490
First time, huh?
235
00:08:30,452 --> 00:08:32,340
That obvious?
236
00:08:32,350 --> 00:08:33,911
My 11th.
237
00:08:33,912 --> 00:08:35,663
Wow.
238
00:08:35,664 --> 00:08:37,331
A real lab rat.
239
00:08:37,332 --> 00:08:39,500
They'll pay you
for all kinds of shit here.
240
00:08:39,501 --> 00:08:42,712
My favorite ones usually
involve weed or porn,
241
00:08:42,713 --> 00:08:44,964
but they pay the least.
242
00:08:44,965 --> 00:08:49,520
Oh, s... so it's not, like, a flat rate?
243
00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:50,303
It varies.
244
00:08:50,304 --> 00:08:52,305
There's a pelvic organ prolapse one
245
00:08:52,306 --> 00:08:53,890
that pays $2,500,
246
00:08:53,891 --> 00:08:55,516
but I think your vagina would have to be
247
00:08:55,517 --> 00:08:56,977
pretty much falling out.
248
00:08:59,605 --> 00:09:02,482
Is your vagina falling out?
249
00:09:02,483 --> 00:09:03,691
No.
250
00:09:03,692 --> 00:09:05,903
You couldn't do that one, then.
251
00:09:33,550 --> 00:09:36,140
So how about we use the rest of the time
252
00:09:36,141 --> 00:09:38,476
to focus on how
we're gonna move forward?
253
00:09:38,477 --> 00:09:40,228
Easy. He's getting an iPhone.
254
00:09:40,229 --> 00:09:41,854
I already had an iPhone.
255
00:09:41,855 --> 00:09:43,231
It's too hard to type.
256
00:09:43,232 --> 00:09:45,650
Um, I meant on an emotional level,
257
00:09:45,651 --> 00:09:49,278
by reestablishing boundaries and trust.
258
00:09:49,279 --> 00:09:51,720
Also, I hate it on principal.
259
00:09:51,730 --> 00:09:53,658
You know? Have you seen the 7S?
260
00:09:53,659 --> 00:09:54,909
Uh... no.
261
00:09:54,910 --> 00:09:56,577
It's the wireless headphones.
262
00:09:56,578 --> 00:09:59,413
They're a picture-perfect
example of corporate greed.
263
00:09:59,414 --> 00:10:00,998
And there's an environmental issue too.
264
00:10:00,999 --> 00:10:03,251
We are creating mountains
of electronic waste.
265
00:10:03,252 --> 00:10:05,169
You don't even recycle.
266
00:10:05,170 --> 00:10:06,420
Who doesn't recycle?
267
00:10:06,421 --> 00:10:08,965
You know, I think that the iPhone
268
00:10:08,966 --> 00:10:12,677
is a Band-Aid for a larger trust issue.
269
00:10:12,678 --> 00:10:15,263
Tom, you've cheated on Lacey
in the past.
270
00:10:15,264 --> 00:10:18,990
And, Lacey, you've become so sensitive
271
00:10:18,100 --> 00:10:20,268
to any perceived transgression,
272
00:10:20,269 --> 00:10:21,936
and yet you're still together,
273
00:10:21,937 --> 00:10:23,271
and you have been for a while.
274
00:10:23,272 --> 00:10:24,730
How many years has it been?
275
00:10:24,731 --> 00:10:25,773
Four.
276
00:10:25,774 --> 00:10:27,108
Right.
277
00:10:27,109 --> 00:10:31,988
So maybe by trusting him,
278
00:10:31,989 --> 00:10:33,698
you allow him to be the partner
279
00:10:33,699 --> 00:10:36,243
that he wants to be.
280
00:10:39,288 --> 00:10:40,955
Get a 6 or a fucking 5S.
281
00:10:40,956 --> 00:10:43,292
I don't care,
but you're getting an iPhone.
282
00:10:46,628 --> 00:10:49,297
People lie in their profiles
about everything.
283
00:10:49,298 --> 00:10:52,910
Age, weight, how much they drink.
284
00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:53,509
Where they don't lie
285
00:10:53,510 --> 00:10:55,261
is in their actions.
286
00:10:55,262 --> 00:10:56,971
So why not make an algorithm
287
00:10:56,972 --> 00:10:59,891
that utilizes and quantifies
every action you take?
288
00:10:59,892 --> 00:11:02,393
What you order on Amazon,
289
00:11:02,394 --> 00:11:04,312
what you listen to on Spotify,
290
00:11:04,313 --> 00:11:05,521
where you Postmates from,
291
00:11:05,522 --> 00:11:06,981
what porn you look at.
292
00:11:06,982 --> 00:11:09,650
With MetaDater, you get a dating app
293
00:11:09,651 --> 00:11:12,570
that curates true compatibility.
294
00:11:12,571 --> 00:11:13,613
To love someone,
295
00:11:13,614 --> 00:11:14,947
you have to know them.
296
00:11:14,948 --> 00:11:16,824
And that means looking
beyond the persona
297
00:11:16,825 --> 00:11:18,451
they adopt in public.
298
00:11:18,452 --> 00:11:22,288
It means getting hard data
on who they are
299
00:11:22,289 --> 00:11:24,583
and how they act in private.
300
00:11:26,460 --> 00:11:27,501
This is really cool.
301
00:11:27,502 --> 00:11:29,170
Yeah, really impressive.
302
00:11:29,171 --> 00:11:30,504
Doesn't Tinder already do this,
303
00:11:30,505 --> 00:11:32,480
- by liking with Spotify?
- Oh.
304
00:11:32,490 --> 00:11:35,509
Yes, but we'd be using
a whole range of music apps:
305
00:11:35,510 --> 00:11:38,471
iTunes, Tidal, SoundCloud,
306
00:11:38,472 --> 00:11:39,639
Pandora, Shazam.
307
00:11:39,640 --> 00:11:41,182
Mm-hmm. And what about The League?
308
00:11:41,183 --> 00:11:42,725
Is that the one Amanda helped fund?
309
00:11:42,726 --> 00:11:44,600
It syncs with your LinkedIn.
310
00:11:44,610 --> 00:11:45,519
I heard they were doing
an Amazon thing too.
311
00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:47,210
I love her. She's so great.
312
00:11:47,220 --> 00:11:48,731
Oh, I love her too.
She lost all that weight, right?
313
00:11:48,732 --> 00:11:49,774
- She did?
- Yeah, yeah.
314
00:11:49,775 --> 00:11:50,983
In, like, four months.
315
00:11:50,984 --> 00:11:52,693
She was doing two days at the gym.
316
00:11:52,694 --> 00:11:55,196
- She didn't eat a single carb.
- A different person.
317
00:11:55,197 --> 00:11:56,989
- Changed her life.
- Oh, man.
318
00:11:56,990 --> 00:11:58,908
- Um, Alex.
- Yes.
319
00:11:58,909 --> 00:12:00,660
- Mm-hmm?
- Thanks for coming in, man.
320
00:12:00,661 --> 00:12:02,780
Yeah, we'll let you know,
321
00:12:02,790 --> 00:12:03,788
but that was really great.
322
00:12:03,789 --> 00:12:06,123
- So well-told.
- Mm-hmm.
323
00:12:37,739 --> 00:12:38,781
$19.50.
324
00:12:39,908 --> 00:12:41,826
I wasn't even an hour.
325
00:12:41,827 --> 00:12:43,161
You need validation.
326
00:12:45,706 --> 00:12:48,820
- There's a huge difference.
- There is not.
327
00:12:48,830 --> 00:12:50,334
Pellegrino gets all the hype,
but at this point,
328
00:12:50,335 --> 00:12:51,961
it's just trading in on its name.
329
00:12:51,962 --> 00:12:55,673
Hey, I need validation.
Is that possible?
330
00:12:55,674 --> 00:12:57,508
You are a talented guy,
331
00:12:57,509 --> 00:13:00,520
and I'm sure you'll have plenty
of other ideas.
332
00:13:00,530 --> 00:13:01,887
Don't worry, it'll happen.
333
00:13:01,888 --> 00:13:04,849
But no, we don't validate.
It's company policy.
334
00:13:04,850 --> 00:13:06,392
Sorry, man.
335
00:13:10,314 --> 00:13:12,106
Yep.
336
00:13:12,107 --> 00:13:13,274
Yep.
337
00:13:16,111 --> 00:13:17,445
It's $20.65 now.
338
00:13:44,970 --> 00:13:47,160
How many sexual partners have you had?
339
00:13:47,170 --> 00:13:48,267
Six.
340
00:13:48,268 --> 00:13:50,190
Seven?
341
00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:51,812
I've seen some shit.
342
00:13:51,813 --> 00:13:54,356
Okay, and what age were you
343
00:13:54,357 --> 00:13:56,817
when you lost your virginity?
344
00:13:56,818 --> 00:13:58,611
14.
345
00:13:58,612 --> 00:14:01,447
Can you expand on that a little?
346
00:14:01,448 --> 00:14:04,408
He was older, a lot older.
347
00:14:04,409 --> 00:14:06,827
It was, like, salacious at first,
348
00:14:06,828 --> 00:14:10,390
but then it just felt right.
349
00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:11,499
We did everything.
350
00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:13,125
Have you read "Lolita"?
351
00:14:13,126 --> 00:14:14,668
You know you make the same
amount of money
352
00:14:14,669 --> 00:14:16,629
if you tell the truth.
353
00:14:16,630 --> 00:14:18,890
Oh.
354
00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:20,966
So you lost your virginity at 14.
355
00:14:20,967 --> 00:14:22,930
Yep.
356
00:14:22,940 --> 00:14:23,552
But you've been on birth control
357
00:14:23,553 --> 00:14:26,847
since 12?
358
00:14:26,848 --> 00:14:29,183
- Uh-huh.
- Why so early?
359
00:14:29,184 --> 00:14:32,853
Um, my mom wanted to make sure
I was safe.
360
00:14:32,854 --> 00:14:34,730
That I was, uh,
361
00:14:34,731 --> 00:14:36,440
comfortable being physical.
362
00:14:36,441 --> 00:14:39,860
She encouraged you to have sex
as a preteen?
363
00:14:39,861 --> 00:14:42,238
I mean, I wouldn't say that.
364
00:14:42,239 --> 00:14:44,949
Do you talk to her about
your sexual encounters?
365
00:14:44,950 --> 00:14:46,408
Oh, I don't... I don't know how much
366
00:14:46,409 --> 00:14:47,910
she wants to hear about them.
367
00:14:47,911 --> 00:14:49,870
So she put you on the pill
368
00:14:49,871 --> 00:14:51,915
and sent you on your way?
369
00:14:53,125 --> 00:14:55,627
What's this study about, exactly?
370
00:15:07,130 --> 00:15:08,130
How's Dustin?
371
00:15:08,140 --> 00:15:10,349
Justin. He's great.
372
00:15:10,350 --> 00:15:12,643
Mm. What's he, like, five now?
373
00:15:12,644 --> 00:15:13,853
He's eight.
374
00:15:13,854 --> 00:15:16,272
Oh. They grow up so fast.
375
00:15:16,273 --> 00:15:17,481
Mm-hmm.
376
00:15:17,482 --> 00:15:21,260
So, uh, you're currently not working?
377
00:15:21,270 --> 00:15:24,864
I'm dabbling in
the hospitality business.
378
00:15:24,865 --> 00:15:26,310
Airbnb.
379
00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:27,158
In the past 12 months,
380
00:15:27,159 --> 00:15:29,201
your expenses are nearly double.
381
00:15:29,202 --> 00:15:31,829
Yeah, I had to pay
for my father's cremation.
382
00:15:31,830 --> 00:15:33,372
And his wedding.
383
00:15:33,373 --> 00:15:35,583
Not in that order.
384
00:15:35,584 --> 00:15:38,252
Back in March,
you made a $10,000 purchase
385
00:15:38,253 --> 00:15:39,545
at a furniture boutique?
386
00:15:39,546 --> 00:15:41,840
Mm-hmm, chairs. They're gone now.
387
00:15:43,216 --> 00:15:46,635
How attached are you to your home?
388
00:15:46,636 --> 00:15:47,970
Very.
389
00:15:47,971 --> 00:15:49,138
Mount Olympus McMansions
390
00:15:49,139 --> 00:15:50,973
are encroaching on the whole canyon.
391
00:15:50,974 --> 00:15:53,580
My house is a safeguard against G-Wagons
392
00:15:53,590 --> 00:15:55,853
and decorative lion statues.
393
00:15:55,854 --> 00:15:57,271
If I put you on a budget,
394
00:15:57,272 --> 00:16:01,358
your savings can get you through
the end of the year.
395
00:16:01,359 --> 00:16:03,680
Maybe.
396
00:16:03,690 --> 00:16:04,653
Let's itemize.
397
00:16:04,654 --> 00:16:07,948
Last month, you spent $85
398
00:16:07,949 --> 00:16:09,825
on music streaming services.
399
00:16:09,826 --> 00:16:12,286
"Lemonade" was a Tidal exclusive.
400
00:16:12,287 --> 00:16:14,538
And Taylor Swift is only on Apple Music.
401
00:16:14,539 --> 00:16:16,832
$270 on Lyft.
402
00:16:16,833 --> 00:16:19,100
I'm contributing to the service economy.
403
00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:21,462
$1,200 on Postmates.
404
00:16:21,463 --> 00:16:24,840
It's for groceries too.
405
00:16:24,841 --> 00:16:25,925
Drive yourself,
406
00:16:25,926 --> 00:16:27,900
shop yourself,
407
00:16:27,100 --> 00:16:28,427
and cook for yourself.
408
00:16:28,428 --> 00:16:29,678
And get a job.
409
00:16:29,679 --> 00:16:32,473
And I want you to delete the apps.
410
00:16:32,474 --> 00:16:35,517
Less temptation.
411
00:16:35,518 --> 00:16:37,228
You're a monster.
412
00:16:37,229 --> 00:16:38,562
You'll get used to it.
413
00:16:39,523 --> 00:16:42,858
Like a phantom limb.
414
00:16:42,859 --> 00:16:44,985
Okay.
415
00:16:44,986 --> 00:16:46,737
Do you know,
according to California law,
416
00:16:46,738 --> 00:16:48,489
I could take you
to the small claims court
417
00:16:48,490 --> 00:16:50,699
and sue you for damages incurred
418
00:16:50,700 --> 00:16:51,992
by waiting.
419
00:16:53,453 --> 00:16:55,788
No, no, no, I'm a composer.
420
00:17:00,100 --> 00:17:01,710
Two weeks. Yep.
421
00:17:01,711 --> 00:17:03,300
And not a day longer.
422
00:17:04,923 --> 00:17:06,383
Thank you.
423
00:17:07,884 --> 00:17:09,510
So we were about 16, 17,
424
00:17:09,511 --> 00:17:11,530
in her parents' basement, you know?
425
00:17:11,540 --> 00:17:13,681
I thought she had rented
"The Princess Bride,"
426
00:17:13,682 --> 00:17:15,150
but it was "The Prince of Tides."
427
00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:16,850
You've seen it, right?
428
00:17:16,851 --> 00:17:18,227
- Hmm?
- Mmm, No?
429
00:17:18,228 --> 00:17:19,395
Oh, you'd love it.
430
00:17:19,396 --> 00:17:21,689
Barbra Streisand plays a therapist...
431
00:17:21,690 --> 00:17:22,731
who wears this, like, pink,
432
00:17:22,732 --> 00:17:24,108
like, off-the-shoulder sweater,
433
00:17:24,109 --> 00:17:25,234
you know the kind I mean?
434
00:17:25,235 --> 00:17:26,527
Her name was Lowenstein.
435
00:17:26,528 --> 00:17:28,696
And the movie has a lot
of butt rape and stuff,
436
00:17:28,697 --> 00:17:30,948
but it really stuck with me.
437
00:17:30,949 --> 00:17:32,283
Oh, crap.
438
00:17:32,284 --> 00:17:34,285
Mmm. Oh, oh, my God.
439
00:17:34,286 --> 00:17:35,703
- Oh, oh... yep.
- Here, let me just...
440
00:17:35,704 --> 00:17:37,329
- Oh, my gosh. Thank you.
- Oh, here.
441
00:17:37,330 --> 00:17:38,622
- Thank you.
- Here you go.
442
00:17:38,623 --> 00:17:39,583
Mmm, mmm.
443
00:17:39,584 --> 00:17:41,292
So now, ever since then,
444
00:17:41,293 --> 00:17:44,295
whenever I jerk off,
I think "Lowenstein."
445
00:17:44,296 --> 00:17:45,546
"Lowenstein," you know what I mean?
446
00:17:45,547 --> 00:17:46,589
It's, like, sense memory.
447
00:17:46,590 --> 00:17:48,299
The name turns me rock hard.
448
00:17:48,300 --> 00:17:51,930
But it's the name
of my new boss at work...
449
00:17:51,940 --> 00:17:52,219
who's a dude.
450
00:17:52,220 --> 00:17:54,430
It's a real problem. Mmm.
451
00:17:54,431 --> 00:17:56,557
I wish you wouldn't eat
during our session.
452
00:17:56,558 --> 00:17:59,101
Oh, me neither.
I'm just... I'm starving.
453
00:17:59,102 --> 00:18:00,610
Mmm.
454
00:18:06,109 --> 00:18:08,277
Ew, worse than the falafel?
455
00:18:08,278 --> 00:18:10,863
Different, but equally bad.
456
00:18:10,864 --> 00:18:12,406
Oh, hey, I meant to tell you.
457
00:18:12,407 --> 00:18:14,742
I saw a posting...
they're looking for someone
458
00:18:14,743 --> 00:18:17,119
to teach intro to psych
at UCLA Extension.
459
00:18:17,120 --> 00:18:18,787
My God, I would be a terrible teacher.
460
00:18:18,788 --> 00:18:20,205
No, you wouldn't.
461
00:18:20,206 --> 00:18:21,790
I would tell the students
462
00:18:21,791 --> 00:18:23,375
what a thankless fucking job this is,
463
00:18:23,376 --> 00:18:24,918
and not to waste their money
learning about things
464
00:18:24,919 --> 00:18:26,420
that nobody wants to hear about,
465
00:18:26,421 --> 00:18:28,297
even when they're paying you to say 'em.
466
00:18:28,298 --> 00:18:29,923
I mean, that...
467
00:18:29,924 --> 00:18:31,910
You're just so honest.
468
00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:32,968
That's so inspiring.
469
00:18:32,969 --> 00:18:34,721
Leia...
470
00:18:36,431 --> 00:18:38,307
Get your masters in something else
471
00:18:38,308 --> 00:18:40,351
before it's too late,
and the only thing you have
472
00:18:40,352 --> 00:18:42,190
to look forward to in life
473
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:43,812
is a table.
474
00:18:45,357 --> 00:18:46,274
Uh, but...
475
00:18:46,275 --> 00:18:47,316
Okay.
476
00:18:47,317 --> 00:18:48,442
Have a great weekend.
477
00:18:48,443 --> 00:18:49,568
Well, it's Monday.
478
00:18:49,569 --> 00:18:53,198
Oh, God. See you tomorrow.
479
00:19:15,804 --> 00:19:17,805
Leon.
480
00:19:18,932 --> 00:19:20,140
Uh, hi.
481
00:19:23,228 --> 00:19:25,813
It's, uh, quite a tale.
482
00:19:25,814 --> 00:19:28,399
Uh, you see, your cabinet
was, uh, faulty,
483
00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:30,484
and I was fixing it with a drill,
484
00:19:30,485 --> 00:19:32,986
and it was very loud,
485
00:19:32,987 --> 00:19:36,323
so when they came, I, uh...
486
00:19:38,284 --> 00:19:39,326
I'm sorry.
487
00:19:41,121 --> 00:19:42,871
It's fine.
488
00:19:42,872 --> 00:19:44,998
They'll redeliver in two weeks.
489
00:19:44,999 --> 00:19:46,667
Two weeks?
490
00:19:48,878 --> 00:19:51,922
What's two more weeks?
491
00:19:51,923 --> 00:19:54,700
I, uh...
492
00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:55,802
made risotto.
493
00:19:57,804 --> 00:19:59,305
And, um...
494
00:20:01,990 --> 00:20:03,517
Here.
495
00:20:03,518 --> 00:20:06,270
It's been decanted.
496
00:20:06,271 --> 00:20:07,521
You...
497
00:20:07,522 --> 00:20:09,273
can you excuse me for one sec?
498
00:20:09,274 --> 00:20:10,524
Okay.
499
00:20:20,827 --> 00:20:22,369
How was your pitch?
500
00:20:22,370 --> 00:20:24,371
Terrible.
501
00:20:24,372 --> 00:20:26,915
How was the study?
502
00:20:26,916 --> 00:20:28,417
Invasive.
503
00:20:28,418 --> 00:20:31,440
Overly personal.
504
00:20:31,450 --> 00:20:32,546
They want me back tomorrow.
505
00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:38,552
You hungry?
506
00:20:38,553 --> 00:20:40,387
Yeah, I could eat.
507
00:20:40,388 --> 00:20:41,430
We could get some food,
508
00:20:41,431 --> 00:20:42,723
bring it to your mom.
509
00:20:47,979 --> 00:20:49,563
Do you think my mom's a good mom?
510
00:20:52,108 --> 00:20:53,567
The best.
511
00:20:56,446 --> 00:20:58,655
Yeah.
512
00:21:21,137 --> 00:21:22,304
Can I talk to you?
513
00:21:22,305 --> 00:21:23,640
In private?
514
00:21:31,606 --> 00:21:33,607
Why is Leon on your floor?
515
00:21:33,608 --> 00:21:34,817
Because he made dinner.
516
00:21:34,818 --> 00:21:36,151
Cloth napkins and a checkered blanket?
517
00:21:36,152 --> 00:21:37,319
He made you an indoor picnic.
518
00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:38,779
We were supposed to get ribs later.
519
00:21:38,780 --> 00:21:40,948
Yeah, well, he was waiting for a table.
520
00:21:40,949 --> 00:21:42,491
He fucked up. I'm sorry.
521
00:21:42,492 --> 00:21:44,409
It's weird.
I don't know what to tell you.
522
00:21:44,410 --> 00:21:46,745
Why would you ask
Leon to wait for your table?
523
00:21:46,746 --> 00:21:49,958
Because he's just
helping me out since I moved in.
524
00:21:51,626 --> 00:21:52,626
Oh.
525
00:21:52,627 --> 00:21:55,128
- Alex, no...
- Okay.
526
00:21:55,129 --> 00:21:56,839
- Don't be mad.
- I'm not.
527
00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:59,490
It's nice to have a friend
who's willing to help out.
528
00:21:59,500 --> 00:22:01,468
Stop that. You're being nine years old.
529
00:22:01,469 --> 00:22:02,845
Mm-hmm, pretty soon
you'll have beautiful,
530
00:22:02,846 --> 00:22:04,555
soft-spoken, half British children,
531
00:22:04,556 --> 00:22:05,973
and I'll give a speech at the wedding.
532
00:22:05,974 --> 00:22:07,724
It'll be witty and self-deprecating,
533
00:22:07,725 --> 00:22:09,434
and then you'll honeymoon in Bora Bora
534
00:22:09,435 --> 00:22:10,936
or the south of France
with your new family,
535
00:22:10,937 --> 00:22:12,896
and that'll be that.
536
00:22:16,776 --> 00:22:19,487
I'm sorry. I've had a long fucking day.
537
00:22:21,197 --> 00:22:25,826
I would never honeymoon in Bora Bora.
538
00:22:25,827 --> 00:22:27,120
I know.
539
00:22:34,377 --> 00:22:35,795
Good night, Laura.
540
00:22:37,797 --> 00:22:39,465
Leon.
541
00:22:42,343 --> 00:22:45,263
I should probably just...
542
00:22:46,848 --> 00:22:49,141
Leon, I...
543
00:22:49,142 --> 00:22:50,602
It's okay.
544
00:22:53,438 --> 00:22:54,521
Thank you.
545
00:22:54,522 --> 00:22:55,982
You're welcome.
546
00:23:08,411 --> 00:23:09,870
Ouch.
547
00:23:09,871 --> 00:23:11,705
- Mom?
- I'm fine.
548
00:23:11,706 --> 00:23:13,123
Ow. I'm fine.
549
00:23:13,124 --> 00:23:15,500
It's all fine.
550
00:23:15,501 --> 00:23:19,546
I just wanted you to have
a really nice table.
551
00:23:19,547 --> 00:23:21,173
I don't care about the table.
552
00:23:21,174 --> 00:23:24,635
Okay, fine, I wanted a table, Laura.
553
00:23:24,636 --> 00:23:26,678
And instead I got Samsungs
554
00:23:26,679 --> 00:23:29,640
and meatballs and drills,
555
00:23:29,641 --> 00:23:31,892
and I just wanted to come home,
556
00:23:31,893 --> 00:23:35,145
sit at a table, open up my journal
557
00:23:35,146 --> 00:23:37,940
that the girl from Clover said
is ethical and eco-friendly,
558
00:23:37,941 --> 00:23:40,233
because it's made from the hide of sheep
559
00:23:40,234 --> 00:23:41,443
that died from old age,
560
00:23:41,444 --> 00:23:42,861
and I just wanted to map out
561
00:23:42,862 --> 00:23:45,782
how I was gonna make my life
feel different.
562
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:49,340
I just want...
563
00:23:49,350 --> 00:23:52,829
I just want things to feel different.
564
00:23:52,830 --> 00:23:55,291
You really need a table for that?
565
00:23:57,418 --> 00:24:00,128
Maybe I don't. I don't know.
566
00:24:00,129 --> 00:24:02,255
Fuck this.
567
00:24:02,256 --> 00:24:04,967
How's the job?
568
00:24:04,968 --> 00:24:07,803
It was confusing.
569
00:24:07,804 --> 00:24:10,974
What's confusing about
getting signatures?
570
00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:14,519
I guess it was just boring.
571
00:24:17,438 --> 00:24:20,230
Sometimes boring's not so bad.
572
00:24:44,963 --> 00:24:47,627
_
573
00:25:15,329 --> 00:25:17,365
You're back.
574
00:25:18,166 --> 00:25:20,740
65ยข a pop, right?
575
00:25:23,546 --> 00:25:25,880
How many girls did you text
576
00:25:25,890 --> 00:25:28,133
to come over last night?
577
00:25:28,134 --> 00:25:29,634
- Four.
- Hmm.
578
00:25:29,635 --> 00:25:32,540
But you're the only one
I wanted to hear from.
579
00:25:37,727 --> 00:25:39,352
Call me a Lyft.
580
00:25:43,107 --> 00:25:44,524
How about I drive you?
581
00:26:30,887 --> 00:26:35,887
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
36643
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