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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,164
(chanting) No excuse for animal abuse!
2
00:00:03,284 --> 00:00:06,500
No excuse for animal abuse!
3
00:00:06,620 --> 00:00:08,834
- Excuse me...
- Yeah, I just... No.
4
00:00:08,954 --> 00:00:11,939
Is it true that this rodeo
has been abusing animals?
5
00:00:12,059 --> 00:00:14,938
I don't know what's going on at all.
6
00:00:16,115 --> 00:00:18,808
- How's it going, jackass?
- (horse neighs)
7
00:00:19,967 --> 00:00:22,182
Hey, Eddie. Sorry about
last night. Family thing.
8
00:00:22,302 --> 00:00:25,182
What's with all the protestors outside?
Is it because of the dung smell?
9
00:00:25,302 --> 00:00:27,139
Rodeo is a mean thing.
10
00:00:27,259 --> 00:00:29,755
- Ooh.
- The bulls are mean.
11
00:00:29,875 --> 00:00:31,757
Cowboys are meaner than shit.
12
00:00:31,877 --> 00:00:34,426
And the audience, they
can be meaner than anyone
13
00:00:34,546 --> 00:00:36,793
if their cheap beer runs out.
14
00:00:36,913 --> 00:00:40,701
That's why the rodeo
needs you damn fool clowns.
15
00:00:40,821 --> 00:00:42,805
Defuse situations.
16
00:00:42,925 --> 00:00:45,768
Take people's mind off all
the blood and gore out there
17
00:00:45,888 --> 00:00:48,903
when some cowboy gets trashed by a bull.
18
00:00:49,023 --> 00:00:51,264
And with you gone last night,
19
00:00:51,384 --> 00:00:53,618
things just went to pure shit.
20
00:00:53,738 --> 00:00:57,994
- Yeah, but Bingo was there last night.
- Bingo is a number-two clown.
21
00:00:58,114 --> 00:01:00,484
He wants to be number-one clown.
22
00:01:00,604 --> 00:01:03,851
When a feller ain't
comfortable in his position,
23
00:01:03,971 --> 00:01:06,173
he's a dangerous animal.
24
00:01:06,293 --> 00:01:07,565
What did he do?
25
00:01:07,685 --> 00:01:10,049
First thing he does, he goes out there,
26
00:01:10,169 --> 00:01:12,414
upchucks his moonshine lunch.
27
00:01:12,534 --> 00:01:14,749
(retches)
28
00:01:16,536 --> 00:01:18,009
This old bull...
29
00:01:18,129 --> 00:01:20,703
This old bull goes over
there and gets all boozy eye
30
00:01:20,823 --> 00:01:25,003
and puts his boozy eyes
on old Bingo's fat-ass keg of swill
31
00:01:25,123 --> 00:01:29,445
and says, "Mmm. That's where
that good moonshine come from."
32
00:01:29,565 --> 00:01:32,581
So he takes off after
Bingo, and Bingo run.
33
00:01:32,701 --> 00:01:35,235
Boy, he run like no
chickenshit son of a bitch
34
00:01:35,355 --> 00:01:36,722
ever run in his life.
35
00:01:36,842 --> 00:01:38,654
Bingo runs into the bleachers.
36
00:01:38,774 --> 00:01:40,644
That bull went right after him.
37
00:01:40,764 --> 00:01:43,405
I ain't never seen a bull
climb a fence like that.
38
00:01:43,525 --> 00:01:47,595
Folks is just scrambling to get away.
So I takes my gun out.
39
00:01:47,715 --> 00:01:50,891
(bull lowing)
40
00:01:51,011 --> 00:01:53,753
Blam! I shoot that
bull right in the eyes.
41
00:01:53,873 --> 00:01:55,554
- You did?
- It was a damn shame.
42
00:01:55,674 --> 00:02:00,574
That was a fine bull. I was aiming
at Bingo's wide old butt crack.
43
00:02:00,694 --> 00:02:03,128
Well, at least you didn't
commit murder, you know?
44
00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:05,830
(both laugh)
45
00:02:08,701 --> 00:02:10,924
You wronged me, Baskets.
46
00:02:11,044 --> 00:02:14,587
But what Bingo did was
worse. Got me to thinking.
47
00:02:14,707 --> 00:02:18,342
I got some of my own personal
accounts to be settled.
48
00:02:18,462 --> 00:02:22,295
Could be maybe this old gun
come in handy for one last thing.
49
00:02:22,415 --> 00:02:26,498
- But you don't know where Bingo is, right?
- Oh, I know where he's at.
50
00:02:26,618 --> 00:02:30,129
Now, then. Your girlfriend,
she's got a car, right?
51
00:02:30,249 --> 00:02:32,338
Yeah, Martha has a car.
Yeah, she'll take you.
52
00:02:32,458 --> 00:02:34,440
- Come on, let's go.
- I don't need to go, do I?
53
00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:37,276
You and Martha go. I think the
two of you could handle this.
54
00:02:37,396 --> 00:02:41,342
You owe me, Baskets. We gotta do this.
55
00:02:42,519 --> 00:02:44,648
(crowd chanting) Boycott! Boycott!
56
00:02:44,768 --> 00:02:48,453
Hey, Eddie. Where we going?
Gotta get some cowboy justice.
57
00:02:48,573 --> 00:02:51,393
Okay, but where? If
I put it in my map...
58
00:02:51,513 --> 00:02:53,311
Down the road... Just drive.
59
00:02:53,431 --> 00:02:56,217
There's a big tree on
the right, you turn left.
60
00:02:56,337 --> 00:02:59,829
Do you have, like, an address?
'Cause it's easier to set it and forget it
61
00:02:59,949 --> 00:03:02,032
with an actual, like, a number.
62
00:03:02,152 --> 00:03:04,600
'Cause if we... I can just...
63
00:03:04,720 --> 00:03:06,533
Where are we going, Eddie? To a tree?
64
00:03:06,653 --> 00:03:08,005
- It's up there.
- (female voice, indistinct)
65
00:03:08,125 --> 00:03:09,824
Shut up, lady!
66
00:03:11,487 --> 00:03:12,639
Good to go.
67
00:03:12,759 --> 00:03:14,506
- Did you put...
- Yes!
68
00:03:15,739 --> 00:03:19,632
Synced and corrected by johnyd13
www.addic7ed.com
69
00:03:21,815 --> 00:03:24,199
Is there something weird going on?
70
00:03:24,319 --> 00:03:27,368
We're going to do some
unpleasant business,
71
00:03:27,488 --> 00:03:30,920
and I don't want to talk about it.
72
00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:33,592
Okay. Well...
73
00:03:36,954 --> 00:03:38,864
(fake cough) Martha.
74
00:03:39,287 --> 00:03:41,510
- Are you okay?
- Hmm?
75
00:03:41,771 --> 00:03:44,342
(mouths words)
76
00:03:48,186 --> 00:03:51,001
Chip, I'm sorry. I'm
not good at charades.
77
00:03:51,121 --> 00:03:53,544
I'm sorry. I can't...
78
00:03:54,780 --> 00:03:57,017
(whispering) The guy
in the middle has a gun.
79
00:03:57,137 --> 00:04:00,035
- Ed... Eddie? What?
- (sighs)
80
00:04:00,155 --> 00:04:03,302
- Pull over. I got to pee.
- Okay.
81
00:04:03,422 --> 00:04:05,746
Is that code for something?
82
00:04:06,589 --> 00:04:08,884
(urinating)
83
00:04:12,144 --> 00:04:14,079
Martha: What kind of
gun do you think he has?
84
00:04:14,199 --> 00:04:17,957
What difference does it make? That's the
gun he's going to use to kill Bingo.
85
00:04:18,077 --> 00:04:20,267
Well, shoot.
86
00:04:21,327 --> 00:04:23,517
Does that make us complicit?
87
00:04:23,637 --> 00:04:27,195
Or liable? Or is it libel?
88
00:04:28,228 --> 00:04:30,579
- Possibly all three. I don't know.
- (clicks tongue)
89
00:04:33,009 --> 00:04:36,119
We probably could just leave
old Pissagara Falls here.
90
00:04:36,239 --> 00:04:39,337
Probably be peeing for three more hours.
He won't even know we left.
91
00:04:39,457 --> 00:04:42,060
Okay, let's go.
92
00:04:42,656 --> 00:04:45,794
Couple more miles, we take a detour...
93
00:04:46,596 --> 00:04:48,482
Eddie style.
94
00:04:58,010 --> 00:05:01,148
Who's there? Eddie!
95
00:05:01,268 --> 00:05:03,288
Is that you?
96
00:05:03,652 --> 00:05:05,847
- Is that Bingo?
- Maybe it's his sister.
97
00:05:05,967 --> 00:05:07,250
Eddie!
98
00:05:07,370 --> 00:05:10,290
- (mattress pounding)
- (woman moaning)
99
00:05:14,222 --> 00:05:18,383
- (Eddie shouting, indistinct)
- (moaning continues)
100
00:05:18,503 --> 00:05:21,452
- Whoa!
- (woman laughs)
101
00:05:26,434 --> 00:05:28,583
Oh, my goodness.
That's about as much fun
102
00:05:28,703 --> 00:05:31,636
as I had since the pig got loose.
103
00:05:31,756 --> 00:05:34,288
Here's 40 dollars to
help keep the lights on.
104
00:05:34,408 --> 00:05:36,774
Oh, you are a gentleman as ever.
105
00:05:36,894 --> 00:05:38,971
Well, that mattress is awful wet.
106
00:05:39,091 --> 00:05:41,512
You and Martha want to use the sofa?
107
00:05:41,632 --> 00:05:44,127
- For what?
- No, thank you. We're good.
108
00:05:44,247 --> 00:05:46,730
- How about a snack?
- Snacks are good.
109
00:05:46,850 --> 00:05:47,903
Yeah.
110
00:05:48,023 --> 00:05:51,688
They say it lasts until the end...
111
00:05:52,049 --> 00:05:53,763
How are those beans?
112
00:05:54,330 --> 00:05:57,167
Um, I'm not that big of a bean fan.
113
00:05:57,287 --> 00:06:00,706
I can make you something else.
Would you like some macaroni and cheese?
114
00:06:00,826 --> 00:06:03,208
Yellow? White? Would
you like that, honey?
115
00:06:03,328 --> 00:06:05,561
I would.
Yeah, I would love that.
116
00:06:05,681 --> 00:06:06,985
No problem.
117
00:06:07,105 --> 00:06:11,767
We're always forever...
118
00:06:12,261 --> 00:06:14,466
Oh, careful of that bourbon, honey.
119
00:06:14,586 --> 00:06:16,714
It's meaner than Willie
Nelson on a good day.
120
00:06:16,834 --> 00:06:18,599
Is Willie Nelson mean?
121
00:06:18,719 --> 00:06:22,636
(laughs) Oh, you're so
young, you wouldn't know.
122
00:06:22,756 --> 00:06:25,571
- Wha...
- Um, Willie Nelson...
123
00:06:26,225 --> 00:06:28,643
One of the most dangerous
singer-songwriters that ever
124
00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:31,006
traveled these
United States, isn't that so?
125
00:06:31,126 --> 00:06:33,397
- That is, that's so.
- And he is a dirty fighter.
126
00:06:33,517 --> 00:06:35,762
- That's so, too.
- Hmm.
127
00:06:35,882 --> 00:06:39,642
Well, on his CD, he looks
really nice in this picture.
128
00:06:39,762 --> 00:06:41,117
That's all smoke and mirrors.
129
00:06:41,237 --> 00:06:43,782
This is the real Willie
Nelson she's talking about.
130
00:06:43,902 --> 00:06:46,969
Hell, Willie Nelson's the one
that messed up Roy Orbison's eyes,
131
00:06:47,089 --> 00:06:48,577
threw cocaine right in them.
132
00:06:48,697 --> 00:06:51,509
- No kidding.
- Mm-hmm.
133
00:06:51,629 --> 00:06:54,215
- Martha, shh.
- That's how a dirty fighter does it.
134
00:06:54,335 --> 00:06:56,035
They throw cocaine in your eyes.
135
00:06:56,155 --> 00:06:58,287
Poor Roy. God.
136
00:06:58,407 --> 00:07:01,870
Now don't you worry about Roy Orbison.
137
00:07:01,990 --> 00:07:03,874
- (chuckles)
- Roy got his own.
138
00:07:03,994 --> 00:07:05,607
- He did.
- He got his, didn't he?
139
00:07:05,727 --> 00:07:07,897
- He did.
- Yes, he did.
140
00:07:10,091 --> 00:07:11,792
Hard to believe.
141
00:07:12,082 --> 00:07:14,631
Well, you need to
open your mind, Martha,
142
00:07:14,751 --> 00:07:17,605
or your life's just gonna
be shit. (chuckles)
143
00:07:17,725 --> 00:07:19,408
I like you.
144
00:07:24,422 --> 00:07:26,616
- I should stop.
- (chuckles)
145
00:07:29,245 --> 00:07:31,290
So where are you all headed?
146
00:07:31,410 --> 00:07:34,293
We're gonna go with Eddie
to kill one of his employees.
147
00:07:34,413 --> 00:07:37,447
(laughs) Same old Eddie.
148
00:07:37,752 --> 00:07:41,326
Eddie's just a little boy that's
pretending to be John Wayne.
149
00:07:42,651 --> 00:07:44,754
But you're not a cowboy.
150
00:07:46,050 --> 00:07:47,370
I'm a clown.
151
00:07:47,490 --> 00:07:50,919
Oh, that is a fine trade. (pats leg)
152
00:07:51,936 --> 00:07:54,796
It's honest work. Your
mom must be so proud.
153
00:08:02,333 --> 00:08:06,488
Oh, well, my mom ain't
too proud of me, neither.
154
00:08:07,055 --> 00:08:09,350
On account that you're a hooker?
155
00:08:09,757 --> 00:08:13,213
Come here. Come here.
Come here. Come on.
156
00:08:13,794 --> 00:08:15,756
Clowns are brave.
157
00:08:16,613 --> 00:08:18,167
Mm-hmm.
158
00:08:18,429 --> 00:08:20,004
That's the truth.
159
00:08:20,949 --> 00:08:24,784
(humming tune)
160
00:08:25,641 --> 00:08:29,113
Oh, Chip. He never has cash.
161
00:08:29,233 --> 00:08:30,897
Does your friend take debit?
162
00:08:31,017 --> 00:08:34,415
(laughs)
163
00:08:34,535 --> 00:08:37,137
It's not a filling station, honey.
164
00:08:37,257 --> 00:08:39,172
Well, it kind of is.
165
00:08:39,292 --> 00:08:42,356
Take debit. (laughs)
166
00:08:42,923 --> 00:08:46,761
- Did you ever have any kids, Thelma?
- Nope. You?
167
00:08:46,881 --> 00:08:48,994
- No.
- Hmm.
168
00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:52,566
Well, you still got
a ring on your finger.
169
00:08:52,686 --> 00:08:54,535
Not too late, you know?
170
00:08:54,655 --> 00:08:58,472
Yeah, I wanted to start a family,
but she up and left for Paris.
171
00:08:58,592 --> 00:08:59,958
Oh...
172
00:09:00,307 --> 00:09:02,976
Well, the whole California music scene
173
00:09:03,096 --> 00:09:05,997
up and moved to Nashville
when I wanted to have kids.
174
00:09:06,117 --> 00:09:08,099
(chuckles)
175
00:09:09,916 --> 00:09:13,200
That's unfair, you would
have been a great mom.
176
00:09:15,030 --> 00:09:17,200
You're a good boy.
177
00:09:17,877 --> 00:09:19,670
(sighs)
178
00:09:20,802 --> 00:09:23,650
(vehicle approaching)
179
00:09:27,635 --> 00:09:29,430
- Hi, there.
- Hi. You Thelma?
180
00:09:29,550 --> 00:09:33,256
- That I am.
- Oh, you with another customer right now?
181
00:09:33,376 --> 00:09:36,755
Do you mind giving us about five
more minutes before you start sexing?
182
00:09:36,875 --> 00:09:41,096
Well, I could, but I was told
this is my time right now.
183
00:09:41,216 --> 00:09:44,566
You're messing with my
livelihood, baby boy.
184
00:09:44,686 --> 00:09:47,155
Come on. Come on up, dear. Come on up.
185
00:09:47,431 --> 00:09:49,174
Take my hand.
186
00:09:49,740 --> 00:09:52,216
Don't mind the guests.
They're very friendly.
187
00:09:52,336 --> 00:09:55,641
- This is Martha.
- Oh, hi. I'm Martha.
188
00:09:55,761 --> 00:09:57,229
Hi, Martha.
189
00:09:59,540 --> 00:10:02,851
- She seemed nice.
- Thelma is an old friend of mine.
190
00:10:02,971 --> 00:10:05,902
I have lots of friends on these roads.
191
00:10:20,093 --> 00:10:22,606
This is fun. It reminds
me of summer camp.
192
00:10:22,726 --> 00:10:25,739
Did you ever go to camp?
No. Did you?
193
00:10:25,859 --> 00:10:28,156
- No.
- Listen.
194
00:10:28,276 --> 00:10:31,856
If something weird happens with Bingo,
you're gonna have to call the cops, okay?
195
00:10:31,976 --> 00:10:35,151
Well, Chip, you know I'm
uncomfortable with the pigs.
196
00:10:35,271 --> 00:10:36,337
Chip: Please.
197
00:10:36,457 --> 00:10:39,295
I guess it'd be good for me
to get out of my comfort zone.
198
00:10:39,415 --> 00:10:41,270
Ow! Oh, God.
199
00:10:41,390 --> 00:10:43,925
Oh, God, I got bit. Chip,
I got bit by a snake.
200
00:10:44,045 --> 00:10:45,458
- It's a gopher snake.
- Oh, shit. Sorry.
201
00:10:45,578 --> 00:10:47,941
About as poisonous as a paper cut.
202
00:10:48,061 --> 00:10:50,310
Okay. I'm sorry for overreacting.
203
00:10:50,430 --> 00:10:54,214
Ow! Oh, God. I got bit on my ankle.
204
00:10:54,334 --> 00:10:56,699
This little guy's
really got it out for me.
205
00:10:56,819 --> 00:10:58,741
- Does it sting?
- It does sting.
206
00:10:58,861 --> 00:11:01,069
It really does. Yeah.
207
00:11:01,189 --> 00:11:04,841
Uh, God, guys, sorry.
208
00:11:04,961 --> 00:11:06,977
- It's okay.
- Really sorry about this.
209
00:11:07,097 --> 00:11:10,007
Got some four-legged bunnies to bake up.
210
00:11:10,127 --> 00:11:12,249
- Ugh.
- How are you gonna cook those things?
211
00:11:12,369 --> 00:11:15,104
Roast them on the campfire rotisserie.
212
00:11:15,224 --> 00:11:17,312
Okay, I'm all right.
213
00:11:17,432 --> 00:11:20,526
- (snake hissing)
- Oh, God, he's coming back.
214
00:11:21,427 --> 00:11:23,492
Oh! (groans)
215
00:11:26,197 --> 00:11:28,415
Get out of here, boy!
216
00:11:30,835 --> 00:11:32,493
Let's eat some hare.
217
00:11:38,504 --> 00:11:41,947
So do you guys like your sweatshirts?
218
00:11:44,428 --> 00:11:49,059
Uh, okay, well, this would be a good
time to get to know each other.
219
00:11:49,179 --> 00:11:54,157
Um, Eddie, when did you
decide to become a cowboy?
220
00:11:54,277 --> 00:11:56,612
- Martha!
- What? I'm interested.
221
00:11:56,732 --> 00:11:59,098
Oh, hell, I've been a cowboy
222
00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:02,796
longer than I've been
telling people I was a cowboy.
223
00:12:02,916 --> 00:12:05,635
That'd be around 40 years by now.
224
00:12:05,755 --> 00:12:07,690
Not that it means a hell of a lot.
225
00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:10,127
Ain't nothing to being a cowboy.
226
00:12:10,247 --> 00:12:13,377
You got to fight a
man who needs fighting,
227
00:12:13,497 --> 00:12:16,376
love a gal pal that needs loving,
228
00:12:16,496 --> 00:12:22,007
all while drinking more dang whiskey
than the Irish ever intended.
229
00:12:22,127 --> 00:12:23,420
Hmm.
230
00:12:27,754 --> 00:12:31,954
Chip, here, now, he
done right being a clown.
231
00:12:32,074 --> 00:12:33,570
Thanks, Eddie.
232
00:12:36,427 --> 00:12:40,637
What about you, young
lady? What are you?
233
00:12:42,002 --> 00:12:44,704
Um, I don't know what you mean.
234
00:12:45,169 --> 00:12:49,707
Well, I'm a cowboy.
Chip's a lovesick clown.
235
00:12:49,980 --> 00:12:55,213
Good old Thelma back there,
she's a whore, bless her fine heart.
236
00:12:55,333 --> 00:12:59,406
Good enough trade for a... For a woman.
237
00:13:00,728 --> 00:13:03,081
What the hell are you?
238
00:13:03,201 --> 00:13:06,917
Um, I guess I never
really thought about it.
239
00:13:07,222 --> 00:13:09,759
Um, I guess I'm just normal.
240
00:13:09,879 --> 00:13:12,645
Normal. Hell, you ain't normal.
241
00:13:12,765 --> 00:13:17,393
If you was normal, you wouldn't be sitting
out here in the middle of the dirt.
242
00:13:17,513 --> 00:13:19,317
Thanks, Eddie.
243
00:13:19,437 --> 00:13:21,352
I think he means that
as an insult, right?
244
00:13:21,472 --> 00:13:23,372
No, I did not.
245
00:13:23,492 --> 00:13:24,760
Oh.
246
00:13:27,536 --> 00:13:31,168
Well, I guess good night, guys.
247
00:13:32,010 --> 00:13:34,498
- Good night, rabbit.
- (snake hissing)
248
00:13:34,618 --> 00:13:37,945
- Good night, snake.
- Oh, God!
249
00:13:48,719 --> 00:13:51,132
(snoring)
250
00:13:51,252 --> 00:13:53,382
(snoring continues)
251
00:13:59,111 --> 00:14:00,578
Eddie.
252
00:14:02,558 --> 00:14:05,345
- Good morning.
- Good morning, Eddie.
253
00:14:05,465 --> 00:14:08,848
Yesterday was a real fun day.
254
00:14:08,968 --> 00:14:11,517
Today might not be so fun.
255
00:14:11,637 --> 00:14:13,546
You ready for it?
256
00:14:13,666 --> 00:14:15,235
Okay.
257
00:14:26,979 --> 00:14:29,056
_
258
00:14:29,259 --> 00:14:31,025
(sighs) Okay.
259
00:14:31,145 --> 00:14:34,587
We go the rest of the way on foot.
260
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:38,088
You stay here, Martha.
You're a pretty lady.
261
00:14:38,208 --> 00:14:40,693
What you see might not be so pretty.
262
00:14:40,813 --> 00:14:44,949
Okay, cool. I didn't wanna be liable
in whatever you're doing anyway.
263
00:14:45,069 --> 00:14:48,400
- Come on, Chip.
- Wait. Where we going, Eddie?
264
00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:50,300
Injun country.
265
00:14:50,420 --> 00:14:53,877
Things are just a bit different in here.
266
00:14:55,827 --> 00:14:58,143
(exhales) Okay. Yeah, uh...
267
00:14:58,263 --> 00:14:59,644
(mouths words)
268
00:14:59,764 --> 00:15:02,458
- What?
- Call 911... Go.
269
00:15:03,780 --> 00:15:05,436
Oh. Okay.
270
00:15:08,195 --> 00:15:11,440
- Hot enough for you?
- Not yet.
271
00:15:11,987 --> 00:15:14,642
Yeah, they say it's
gonna get pretty hot today.
272
00:15:14,762 --> 00:15:16,432
- That's okay.
- Hello. 911.
273
00:15:16,552 --> 00:15:20,272
Yeah, hi. Could I please
have the police department?
274
00:15:22,509 --> 00:15:25,323
Look, Eddie, I know that you're a cowboy
and you have to do your cowboy things
275
00:15:25,443 --> 00:15:28,864
- and you like honor and justice...
- I don't like it. But I gotta do it.
276
00:15:28,984 --> 00:15:32,500
- Yeah, but I'm not a cowboy, Eddie.
- I know you're not a cowboy.
277
00:15:32,620 --> 00:15:35,503
But you got your part
to play just the same.
278
00:15:35,623 --> 00:15:38,687
What? Can we just go home, please?
279
00:15:38,807 --> 00:15:40,969
- Come on.
- Jesus!
280
00:15:42,201 --> 00:15:44,275
Well, I don't want to make
a big deal out of this.
281
00:15:44,395 --> 00:15:46,331
Like, I'm not one of
those kind of people.
282
00:15:46,451 --> 00:15:48,633
That's all right. Just
tell me the problem, ma'am.
283
00:15:48,753 --> 00:15:51,050
Uh, I was wondering, though,
284
00:15:51,170 --> 00:15:54,954
could you call the D.A. and
make sure I'll get immunity
285
00:15:55,074 --> 00:15:57,160
in case I say anything incriminating?
286
00:15:57,280 --> 00:16:01,304
- You haven't been drinking, have you?
- Oh, uh, no. If I were drinking,
287
00:16:01,424 --> 00:16:04,329
I'd be a lot more confident right now.
288
00:16:09,457 --> 00:16:13,170
- Eddie, are we even supposed to be here?
- I know I sure ain't.
289
00:16:13,290 --> 00:16:15,106
(Chip sighs)
290
00:16:15,226 --> 00:16:17,081
No! No! No!
291
00:16:17,201 --> 00:16:20,095
Now, Margaret, I know
its been a long time.
292
00:16:20,215 --> 00:16:22,102
And we've been just fine without you.
293
00:16:22,222 --> 00:16:24,600
Oh, but Margaret, I've come a long ways.
294
00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:26,805
(panting)
295
00:16:26,925 --> 00:16:30,638
- Are you Eddie?
- My name's Ed.
296
00:16:31,328 --> 00:16:35,189
Well, hell, that's dignified.
You know who I am?
297
00:16:40,093 --> 00:16:41,764
Are you my dad?
298
00:16:47,623 --> 00:16:49,404
I brought you something.
299
00:16:49,524 --> 00:16:52,192
My dad gave this to
me when I was your age.
300
00:16:52,312 --> 00:16:54,954
It totally screwed my life up.
301
00:16:55,074 --> 00:16:58,339
So you're old enough now.
You may as well have it.
302
00:16:58,459 --> 00:17:00,966
Oh, and I brought you a clown.
303
00:17:01,086 --> 00:17:02,970
Best damn clown in Bakersfield.
304
00:17:03,860 --> 00:17:06,371
- Oh.
- Baskets is the name... Chip Baskets.
305
00:17:06,491 --> 00:17:10,179
- This is my son, Eddie.
- You guys look just alike.
306
00:17:10,299 --> 00:17:13,113
Eddie, doing birthday parties
really isn't my forte, so...
307
00:17:13,233 --> 00:17:15,547
Well, you're a clown, ain't you?
308
00:17:16,037 --> 00:17:20,256
If you're a clown, you're a clown.
If you ain't, what are you?
309
00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:24,605
- I guess I'm a Martha.
- A Martha. Aww.
310
00:17:24,906 --> 00:17:28,793
Okay! Does anybody have a handkerchief?
311
00:17:28,913 --> 00:17:31,386
- I have a napkin.
- That will work.
312
00:17:31,506 --> 00:17:34,302
Thank you, Chief. Okay.
313
00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:39,341
Okay.
314
00:17:44,658 --> 00:17:47,911
Okay, that's the wrong... (cries out)
315
00:17:56,042 --> 00:17:57,553
Ta-da!
316
00:18:00,354 --> 00:18:02,054
Okay. It's okay.
317
00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:08,279
Oh! Another snake! It's another snake!
318
00:18:08,399 --> 00:18:10,884
It's a gopher snake. Non-poisonous.
319
00:18:11,145 --> 00:18:14,196
- Get it! Get it off!
- (gunshot)
320
00:18:21,658 --> 00:18:23,328
Thank you.
321
00:18:25,365 --> 00:18:27,282
Thank you, Eddie's son.
322
00:18:27,994 --> 00:18:28,984
(police siren chirps)
323
00:18:29,397 --> 00:18:31,752
Hey, everything okay here?
324
00:18:31,998 --> 00:18:34,196
Can I see that for a second?
325
00:18:34,588 --> 00:18:39,019
Um... Is this where
Bingo's body's buried?
326
00:18:44,316 --> 00:18:47,367
Um... happy birthday.
327
00:18:53,455 --> 00:18:55,068
So what happened with Bingo there?
328
00:18:55,188 --> 00:18:57,216
This whole time I thought you
were going after him for revenge.
329
00:18:57,336 --> 00:19:03,089
Oh, hell. I just gave my cousin
50 dollars to break his legs.
330
00:19:03,886 --> 00:19:06,864
- Both of his legs?
- Yeah. (chuckles)
331
00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:12,798
- You suck.
- Some fatherly advice...
332
00:19:12,918 --> 00:19:15,644
Don't ever have kids. They
can be mean little bastards.
333
00:19:15,764 --> 00:19:18,597
Yeah. Hey! Hey! Not the lady.
334
00:19:25,360 --> 00:19:28,303
These long trips aren't
so bad with cruise control.
335
00:19:28,423 --> 00:19:29,699
Okay.
336
00:19:29,819 --> 00:19:34,067
I can just set it and forget it,
you know? Then my feet can do whatever.
337
00:19:34,187 --> 00:19:36,382
Sorry I kicked you, Eddie.
338
00:19:42,127 --> 00:19:44,869
Chip, you haven't said
anything in, like, 150 miles.
339
00:19:44,989 --> 00:19:48,355
- Are you okay?
- Uh, sorry, um...
340
00:19:48,729 --> 00:19:50,589
- Hey, can you pull over?
- Okay.
341
00:19:50,709 --> 00:19:55,775
Wait, Eddie, if I pull over, I have to
break cruise control. Is it worth it?
342
00:19:56,254 --> 00:19:59,511
Well, maybe not. But, uh,
can you pull over anyway?
343
00:19:59,631 --> 00:20:01,157
Okay.
344
00:20:02,043 --> 00:20:04,888
(line ringing)
345
00:20:07,532 --> 00:20:09,697
- Hello.
- Penelope, hi, it's Chip.
346
00:20:09,817 --> 00:20:11,127
- Chip!
- Let me speak.
347
00:20:11,247 --> 00:20:14,804
I only have 80 seconds, okay?
Listen. I made a huge mistake.
348
00:20:14,924 --> 00:20:17,081
We do not need to start
a family. I was wrong.
349
00:20:17,201 --> 00:20:19,958
I was wrong, and I
think I scared you off,
350
00:20:20,078 --> 00:20:22,443
- and I now realize that.
- Chip...
351
00:20:22,563 --> 00:20:25,018
No, you did not scary me off, okay?
352
00:20:25,138 --> 00:20:27,203
What do you mean, I'm
not scaring you off? What?
353
00:20:27,323 --> 00:20:30,725
It was nothing you did. No.
354
00:20:31,524 --> 00:20:32,744
Well...
355
00:20:34,531 --> 00:20:36,266
Well, what was it then? I mean...
356
00:20:36,386 --> 00:20:39,988
It was... It was your mother.
357
00:20:43,918 --> 00:20:45,957
My mother. What do you mean?
358
00:20:46,204 --> 00:20:48,544
She contacted my father.
359
00:20:49,590 --> 00:20:51,057
Okay?
360
00:20:52,265 --> 00:20:53,840
Wait, can you say that again?
361
00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:59,136
She called my father, and they both
together, everybody kick me out.
362
00:21:00,095 --> 00:21:02,013
It's not so cool.
363
00:21:04,407 --> 00:21:07,204
It's over. And I'm...
364
00:21:07,447 --> 00:21:09,478
I have new life now.
365
00:21:09,598 --> 00:21:11,646
Okay. Okay.
366
00:21:15,794 --> 00:21:17,334
Chip?
367
00:21:23,631 --> 00:21:26,154
Martha: Hey, Eddie,
um, when this is done,
368
00:21:26,274 --> 00:21:28,391
I was thinking we could go to breakfast?
369
00:21:28,511 --> 00:21:31,930
- Breakfast. Yeah, huh?
- We could go to...
370
00:21:32,050 --> 00:21:33,596
Take me to my mother's, please.
371
00:21:33,716 --> 00:21:37,727
Okay, um, we were also talking about
maybe going to breakfast first.
372
00:21:37,847 --> 00:21:42,681
Because IHOP has the rooty
tooty fresh and fruity.
373
00:21:42,801 --> 00:21:44,606
However...
374
00:21:44,726 --> 00:21:47,122
- Denny's has...
- Grand Slam.
375
00:21:47,242 --> 00:21:50,084
The Grand Slam and they
have the Moons Over My Hammy.
376
00:21:50,204 --> 00:21:51,978
And then it's also...
377
00:21:52,098 --> 00:21:54,989
I think it's bacon night at Denny's.
378
00:21:58,719 --> 00:22:01,218
- Do you wanna go there?
- Breakfast?
379
00:22:03,504 --> 00:22:04,913
I'm good.
380
00:22:06,591 --> 00:22:10,135
Synced and corrected by johnyd13
www.addic7ed.com
381
00:22:10,185 --> 00:22:14,735
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