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Synced and corrected by Nest0r
www.addic7ed.com
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Ed: There comes a time
in every rodeo bull's life
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00:00:07,502 --> 00:00:09,302
when it's time for him to acknowledge
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00:00:09,337 --> 00:00:14,173
that he's now just a no-good,
worthless piece of dog meat.
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00:00:14,209 --> 00:00:18,628
So we gather here today to perform
sacred slaughtering ritual
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to indoctrinate Panhandle
Slim II's tough old ass
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into the rodeo bull hall of famey.
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All right, y'all, call it.
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- Brisket!
- Short loin!
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- Bottom sirloin!
- All right.
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- Man: Rump!
- Man: Hoofs!
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- Man: Tripe!
- Tenderloin!
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- Shank!
- Cow tongue!
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- Flank!
- Ox tail!
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I'll take some meatloaf.
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Maybe a slice of meatloaf.
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Meatloaf? Oh, my god.
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Anyone else?
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[Phone rings]
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- Hello.
- Put mother on, please.
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- She's not here.
- Yeah, right, just put her on.
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Dale, I don't know where she is. I'm busy.
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I'm eating a steak. I gotta go. Okay?
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Bull crap, you're eatin' a steak.
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You can't even afford a steak.
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Listen, we got a lead on an antique
hutch out in shafter.
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I need her to look after the girls.
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Dale, just ask Chip to do it.
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[Scoffs]
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What?
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Nicole said I should ask you
to watch after the girls.
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I might as well just stick
'em in the refrigerator.
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I am a grown man. I can watch the kids.
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Uh, okay, what would you do
in case of an emergency then?
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I would call you.
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We're gonna be knee deep in hutches.
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- You ain't gonna call us.
- Dale, give me the phone.
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Hi, Chip.
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All you need to do is pick
them up from school
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and make sure they get dinner.
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You're signing their death warrants
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- by having him to this.
- Shh!
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You mean, like, I'd be...
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I'd be their dad?
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Well, yeah, but more like their uncle.
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- Yeah, I could do that.
- Oh, that's great.
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- Thank you.
- Tell him not to sit on...
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When you get here, don't sit
on the sofas again. Okay?
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Or the loveseat.
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You can sit on the Ottoman. Okay, bye.
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Bye.
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[Sighs] Oh, boy.
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00:02:05,479 --> 00:02:07,413
Who keeps puttin' Twizzlers in the fridge?
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I told... Is it Sarah?
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- Crystal.
- Crystal does it.
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- She likes 'em cold.
- Okay, well, Crystal,
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you and I are gonna have
another Twizzler talk.
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Madam, you're blocking out the sun.
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Can you please move?
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Penelope?
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Penelope Baskets?
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Who are you?
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I'm Chip's mom. Your new mother-in-law.
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Now, get out of there and get dried off.
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00:02:33,266 --> 00:02:35,566
We've got some catchin' up to do.
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And that's the Cineplex.
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Eight screens, if you can believe it.
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That's our second Arby's in town.
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Some say it's better.
The fries are curlier.
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Though, I wouldn't know it.
I'm loyal to the original.
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00:02:48,815 --> 00:02:51,515
Oh! And that's where they're
gonna put the bullet train.
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Do you have trains in Europe?
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Yes, we have train in Europe.
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Well, ours will be American made,
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so it'll be better.
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Every time I picture a European train,
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I picture gypsies gyppin' around.
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I... I have that image in my head.
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I'd like to see it live.
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Mrs. Baskets: I just think
this view is so pretty.
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Don't you think this view is pretty?
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Uh...
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You know, it's like,
uh, pretty like, uh...
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How do you say where you put
the garbage in English?
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A garbage dump.
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00:03:27,986 --> 00:03:30,387
Ah, you really picked
up that English fast.
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Thank you.
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You're welcome.
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[Sighs] Just park in the lot over there.
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00:03:39,597 --> 00:03:43,232
Uh, well, actually, I pick up my niece
and nephew here sometimes,
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00:03:43,268 --> 00:03:44,864
and the way it works is you pull up...
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00:03:44,889 --> 00:03:47,103
Martha, you can't...
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You're shouting too much, okay?
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Crystal!
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Sarah!
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Crystal!
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00:03:59,916 --> 00:04:02,017
Excuse me, is there
anything I can help you with?
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00:04:02,052 --> 00:04:04,286
No, I'm okay. I'm an uncle, I'm fine.
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00:04:04,321 --> 00:04:06,021
Just... just looking for some people.
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Thank you. Crystal!
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Well, I disagree.
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Speaking for the Republic of Panama,
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I think that it means...
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Panama. Hold on one second.
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Crystal!
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Sarah!
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No? No Crystal or Sarah here?
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- Woman: No.
- Okay. As you...
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No.
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00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:26,921
Oh, you are a man of stones.
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- Had I your eyes and tongue...
- Sarah! Crystal!
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- I'd use them...
- Sarah and Crystal... sorry.
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Cut, cut, cut the scene. Cut, cut.
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Have you guys seen Sarah or Crystal?
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No? Okay.
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What's the deal with this guy?
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I couldn't find them.
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Should we put out a couple Amber alerts?
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How does that work?
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00:04:47,696 --> 00:04:50,914
Yeah, maybe. Or maybe,
is that them over there?
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Yeah, that's them. Oh, my gosh.
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Girls, let's go! [Whistles]
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[Sighs]
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00:04:59,416 --> 00:05:01,057
Crystal, you're really
favoring your mom these days.
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00:05:01,093 --> 00:05:02,666
You look very Chinese.
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00:05:03,306 --> 00:05:04,824
Our mom's Filipino.
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00:05:04,947 --> 00:05:06,051
Yeah, right.
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00:05:06,259 --> 00:05:08,264
So, how was your day, ladies?
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00:05:08,300 --> 00:05:10,200
God, Martha, the volume
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in which you speak is like a scream.
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God.
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Did you guys have a nice day today?
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Fine, thank you.
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00:05:19,580 --> 00:05:21,711
Fine, I guess, except I hate my life.
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That's good.
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00:05:23,982 --> 00:05:25,648
I guess I should just kill myself.
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00:05:25,683 --> 00:05:27,363
That sounds like a plan. Take a left here.
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Okay.
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00:05:30,697 --> 00:05:34,757
Oh, I guess I could boil these hot dogs.
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00:05:34,792 --> 00:05:37,560
Do you think they have
a designated pot for that?
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00:05:37,595 --> 00:05:39,406
That's a very good question
I'll go ask Sarah.
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00:05:39,431 --> 00:05:41,664
[Clattering]
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And everyone hates you.
Because you're a slut, okay?
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00:05:44,378 --> 00:05:46,758
- Sarah.
- Do you understand?
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00:05:46,783 --> 00:05:48,570
I'm sorry. Did I interrupt something?
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Nothing. It's fine.
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00:05:51,650 --> 00:05:53,608
Okay, good. Martha has
a question about her boil.
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00:05:53,644 --> 00:05:55,705
So, eh...
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00:05:57,783 --> 00:05:58,914
What's going on?
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00:05:59,439 --> 00:06:03,052
[Sighs] My friend Kelly
is ruining my life.
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00:06:04,345 --> 00:06:06,454
Well, how so? What do you mean?
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00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:09,057
She's turning all my friends against me,
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00:06:09,092 --> 00:06:12,681
and now I just want to kill myself.
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00:06:14,298 --> 00:06:16,264
[Sighs] Oh, Sarah.
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00:06:18,213 --> 00:06:22,870
Look. Suicide is not the answer, usually.
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00:06:22,905 --> 00:06:25,639
[Scoffs] It's not like anyone
would care anyways.
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00:06:25,675 --> 00:06:31,279
[Scoffs] Well, I'm sure
somebody cares, I assume.
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00:06:31,634 --> 00:06:33,114
Hey, is everything okay?
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00:06:33,149 --> 00:06:35,450
Martha, keep your voice down, please.
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00:06:35,485 --> 00:06:37,806
Everyone at school hates me.
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00:06:38,517 --> 00:06:43,048
Um, well, how would your dad
handle the situation?
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Make things worse.
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00:06:46,041 --> 00:06:47,099
Well, that's true.
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He would make things worse.
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[Sighs] But you know what?
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There's good news and bad news.
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00:06:55,095 --> 00:06:57,275
The bad news is your father stinks.
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00:06:57,767 --> 00:06:59,567
But, uh, the good news
is that I'm your uncle,
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00:06:59,595 --> 00:07:01,352
and I can do something about it.
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00:07:01,377 --> 00:07:02,449
And I'm gonna do something about it. Okay?
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00:07:02,478 --> 00:07:05,041
[Clears throat] Um, Chip.
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00:07:05,672 --> 00:07:06,937
Is this about the hot dogs?
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00:07:06,962 --> 00:07:07,962
No.
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00:07:08,750 --> 00:07:11,484
What is it? I'm talking
to my suicidal niece.
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00:07:11,509 --> 00:07:14,492
Look, I'm sorry, I usually
ignore my instincts...
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00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:16,455
- You should.
- But I just think that
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00:07:16,491 --> 00:07:19,400
in this case, you should leave this alone.
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00:07:21,212 --> 00:07:23,173
Good old-fashioned do-nothing Martha.
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00:07:24,048 --> 00:07:25,732
Sarah. Come on. Let's go!
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00:07:30,277 --> 00:07:32,977
Oh. Look at this.
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00:07:33,805 --> 00:07:35,739
Oh, that's perfect for you.
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00:07:35,775 --> 00:07:38,243
- Oh.
- I'm gonna get one, too.
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00:07:38,731 --> 00:07:40,163
Oh, I love this place.
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00:07:40,188 --> 00:07:42,154
I'd love to get lost in here.
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00:07:42,198 --> 00:07:45,321
Wouldn't it be something?
Do you have this in France?
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00:07:45,346 --> 00:07:47,399
- Not yet.
- Hm.
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00:07:48,025 --> 00:07:49,324
I didn't think so.
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00:07:49,398 --> 00:07:51,531
Ah. Acid reducer.
189
00:07:51,607 --> 00:07:53,907
This stuff is a life saver.
190
00:07:53,942 --> 00:07:56,466
Uh. Do you have multi packs in France?
191
00:07:57,271 --> 00:07:59,906
I don't think we take so much
medication in France like you do.
192
00:07:59,941 --> 00:08:01,856
Oh, well, that's a shame.
193
00:08:02,185 --> 00:08:04,097
Oh, cheese balls.
194
00:08:04,122 --> 00:08:06,559
It's the only thing Chip
would eat as a child.
195
00:08:06,708 --> 00:08:08,966
I got tired of fighting him on it.
196
00:08:08,991 --> 00:08:11,624
I gave 'em to him for breakfast,
lunch and dinner.
197
00:08:11,943 --> 00:08:13,742
Nice diet for your kids, huh?
198
00:08:13,778 --> 00:08:15,981
Oh, he blew up, but I helped
him get the weight off.
199
00:08:16,286 --> 00:08:19,614
I always supported Chip. He needed
more attention than other kids.
200
00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:21,997
But I always supported him.
201
00:08:22,269 --> 00:08:24,269
Even during this clowning phase.
202
00:08:24,700 --> 00:08:26,864
It's hard being a good mother.
203
00:08:28,009 --> 00:08:32,844
I mean, $1.50 for a quarter pound hot dog.
204
00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:37,281
And a drink. Tr?s bien, right?
205
00:08:37,317 --> 00:08:38,483
[Knocking]
206
00:08:40,954 --> 00:08:42,320
Can I help you?
207
00:08:42,347 --> 00:08:45,348
Yes, hi. Um, I think
that your daughter Kelly,
208
00:08:45,392 --> 00:08:48,466
um, may have exchanged
some words with our Sarah here,
209
00:08:48,491 --> 00:08:50,861
and it got a little heated, you know?
210
00:08:50,897 --> 00:08:53,264
And, uh, is it possible to come inside,
211
00:08:53,299 --> 00:08:54,932
and maybe chat about it,
212
00:08:54,967 --> 00:08:56,897
have a lemonade, have a laugh,
213
00:08:56,922 --> 00:08:58,369
and maybe figure this thing out?
214
00:08:58,405 --> 00:09:00,263
Okay.
215
00:09:00,288 --> 00:09:01,755
So, um,
216
00:09:01,790 --> 00:09:03,991
let's just maybe cut to the chase here.
217
00:09:04,022 --> 00:09:06,392
Um, girls, maybe we'll just
start talkin' about
218
00:09:06,427 --> 00:09:07,459
why you don't like each other.
219
00:09:07,495 --> 00:09:08,530
Sarah, you want to start?
220
00:09:09,077 --> 00:09:12,265
Uh, Kelly photoshopped a picture of me,
221
00:09:12,292 --> 00:09:14,592
- put it on Instagram and it made my...
- I posted that photo
222
00:09:14,635 --> 00:09:15,634
because you told se?ora Carlson
223
00:09:15,669 --> 00:09:17,636
that you were worried about me
224
00:09:17,671 --> 00:09:18,837
- because I looked totally pregnant.
- Sorry for being
225
00:09:18,873 --> 00:09:20,906
a good friend. I was scared for you.
226
00:09:20,941 --> 00:09:23,014
You know, maybe we need a speaking koosh.
227
00:09:23,039 --> 00:09:25,511
- Oh, I like that idea.
- And anyways,
228
00:09:25,546 --> 00:09:27,178
I only talked to se?ora Carlson
229
00:09:27,214 --> 00:09:28,781
because I was mad that you and Melanie
230
00:09:28,806 --> 00:09:30,366
applied for jobs at forever 21 without me.
231
00:09:30,391 --> 00:09:33,251
I don't have a Koosh on me.
Do you have one?
232
00:09:33,287 --> 00:09:34,520
Frank, honey.
233
00:09:34,555 --> 00:09:36,021
Huh? Koosh?
234
00:09:36,056 --> 00:09:37,722
- Yeah.
- I don't know what that is.
235
00:09:37,747 --> 00:09:39,991
- It's a... it's a...
- It's like a, uh...
236
00:09:40,027 --> 00:09:41,927
It looks like a porcupine made
out of rubber or something.
237
00:09:41,962 --> 00:09:44,329
It's like a fuzzy ball and, um...
238
00:09:44,364 --> 00:09:46,998
It's not really fuzzy,
it's spiky but soft.
239
00:09:47,034 --> 00:09:49,600
You could call it fuzzy
a little, and it...
240
00:09:49,636 --> 00:09:51,002
It looks more fuzzy than it is.
241
00:09:51,038 --> 00:09:52,770
It's called a Koosh.
It's a rubber thing.
242
00:09:52,806 --> 00:09:55,222
It sort of looks like a big cat toy.
243
00:09:55,247 --> 00:09:58,347
Like, uh, something they would bat around.
244
00:09:58,457 --> 00:10:01,124
And the thing is, if you're holding
it, you're allowed to speak.
245
00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:03,650
So, did anyone else's family do this?
246
00:10:03,675 --> 00:10:04,794
No.
247
00:10:04,829 --> 00:10:06,430
Well, like, two days before that,
248
00:10:06,465 --> 00:10:09,080
you told Marna that forever
21 was for skanks.
249
00:10:09,105 --> 00:10:10,941
Why are you being so mean to me?
250
00:10:11,169 --> 00:10:12,902
Maybe I should just kill myself.
251
00:10:12,938 --> 00:10:14,236
- Maybe you should.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
252
00:10:14,272 --> 00:10:16,261
Okay, okay, okay, guys.
253
00:10:17,129 --> 00:10:18,328
What are you doing, Martha?
254
00:10:18,364 --> 00:10:20,597
You know, actually, I do have a Koosh.
255
00:10:20,622 --> 00:10:21,316
It's a mini.
256
00:10:21,535 --> 00:10:23,269
Frank: Oh, Koosh. Yeah.
257
00:10:23,529 --> 00:10:24,393
I know what that is.
258
00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:28,144
Okay, so you can start. Ready, set, go.
259
00:10:30,316 --> 00:10:32,259
Well, like, Melanie didn't
want to work with you
260
00:10:32,294 --> 00:10:33,626
after you told James and Victor
261
00:10:33,662 --> 00:10:36,430
that I had a pack of condoms in my locker.
262
00:10:36,465 --> 00:10:37,897
They already knew anyways,
263
00:10:37,933 --> 00:10:40,166
and that was after you stole
my volleyball jersey.
264
00:10:40,191 --> 00:10:41,157
Because you texted Josh and Carmen
265
00:10:41,192 --> 00:10:42,557
that I was a bad person.
266
00:10:42,593 --> 00:10:44,994
Because you told everyone
in volleyball practice
267
00:10:45,029 --> 00:10:47,696
- that I was a horse-faced bitch.
- Wow. Sarah...
268
00:10:47,731 --> 00:10:48,964
- do I need to hold it?
- You should... he should have the Koosh.
269
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:50,699
Yeah, okay, Martha.
270
00:10:50,734 --> 00:10:53,535
I don't want to use... why
are we doing this Koosh thing?
271
00:10:53,570 --> 00:10:55,171
Sorry.
272
00:10:55,206 --> 00:10:56,172
Look, I'm... I made a mistake.
273
00:10:56,207 --> 00:10:58,573
I... I planned this out wrong.
274
00:10:58,609 --> 00:11:00,141
I didn't have a dad. You know, I didn't...
I didn't...
275
00:11:00,177 --> 00:11:01,443
I had him for a couple years.
276
00:11:01,478 --> 00:11:04,979
I think, you know, fatherhood, in general,
277
00:11:05,015 --> 00:11:06,448
is, uh, tricky.
278
00:11:06,483 --> 00:11:08,661
When you... we should...
We're gonna leave.
279
00:11:08,686 --> 00:11:09,889
Ready?
280
00:11:10,954 --> 00:11:13,341
Are you ready? Let's go.
281
00:11:17,457 --> 00:11:19,870
Hm! Are you sure, you don't
want someting to eat?
282
00:11:19,895 --> 00:11:21,527
The burger is delicious.
283
00:11:21,563 --> 00:11:22,828
I'm fine.
284
00:11:22,864 --> 00:11:25,331
What about a glass of California wine?
285
00:11:25,367 --> 00:11:26,140
No.
286
00:11:26,165 --> 00:11:28,768
They say California wine
is better than French wine.
287
00:11:28,803 --> 00:11:29,835
Who say?
288
00:11:29,871 --> 00:11:31,704
Uh, Sonoma Valley.
289
00:11:31,740 --> 00:11:33,673
- Oh, yeah?
- Have you heard of wine country?
290
00:11:33,708 --> 00:11:36,876
- [Chuckles] No.
- And you know it's Wednesday.
291
00:11:36,911 --> 00:11:38,944
Two for one.
292
00:11:38,980 --> 00:11:40,780
Wine is two for one.
293
00:11:40,815 --> 00:11:42,214
I don't want two for one.
294
00:11:42,250 --> 00:11:43,515
- No?
- No.
295
00:11:43,550 --> 00:11:45,350
I want one for one, you know?
296
00:11:45,386 --> 00:11:48,087
[Laughs] Well, you can't beat the price.
297
00:11:48,122 --> 00:11:50,455
[Laughing]
298
00:11:50,491 --> 00:11:54,526
I suppose this town pales
compared to Paris, huh, Penelope?
299
00:11:54,799 --> 00:11:56,653
Paris is outdated.
300
00:11:57,063 --> 00:12:02,301
People are pessimist, uh, idiot racists.
301
00:12:02,326 --> 00:12:05,377
But "Bakerfield" is a breeze
of fresh air for me.
302
00:12:05,488 --> 00:12:06,887
- Yeah?
- Yes. I like it.
303
00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:08,340
You know what I like?
304
00:12:08,375 --> 00:12:10,975
- Hm?
- Penelope Baskets for a name.
305
00:12:11,369 --> 00:12:13,511
No, I'm not taking the name, you know.
306
00:12:13,546 --> 00:12:15,914
- No?
- No. It's Penelope Ebert.
307
00:12:15,949 --> 00:12:18,382
So you'll be Baskets-Ebert?
308
00:12:19,098 --> 00:12:21,385
Uh, Chip didn't tell you
about our arrangement?
309
00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:22,777
Hmm?
310
00:12:23,123 --> 00:12:26,757
You know it's not really
marriage for love so much.
311
00:12:26,793 --> 00:12:28,723
It's more for the green card.
312
00:12:29,429 --> 00:12:33,583
Hm. How do your parents feel
about that arrangement?
313
00:12:34,266 --> 00:12:35,708
I don't care.
314
00:12:36,235 --> 00:12:38,369
I don't see them, you know, so much.
315
00:12:38,404 --> 00:12:39,731
My father send me money,
316
00:12:39,756 --> 00:12:42,731
but other than that, no contact.
317
00:12:43,434 --> 00:12:46,210
So you're just gonna take
Chip for everything he's got?
318
00:12:46,245 --> 00:12:47,286
Bleed him dry?
319
00:12:47,980 --> 00:12:50,547
No, I bleed my father dry. [Laughs]
320
00:12:50,582 --> 00:12:53,497
But, uh, Chip is more, uh,
321
00:12:53,953 --> 00:12:55,618
you know, like a little puppy.
322
00:12:55,654 --> 00:12:57,372
Follow me around. You know?
323
00:12:57,656 --> 00:12:59,434
And he's okay with it, you know?
324
00:12:59,691 --> 00:13:01,942
If he choose not to accept reality,
325
00:13:02,322 --> 00:13:04,301
it's not my fault, is it?
326
00:13:05,731 --> 00:13:08,442
Well, I'm not surprised.
327
00:13:08,834 --> 00:13:10,900
Chip's never known what's good for him.
328
00:13:12,937 --> 00:13:14,691
Well, I'm glad we cleared that up, huh?
329
00:13:14,716 --> 00:13:15,872
I'll bet your friend will think twice
330
00:13:15,907 --> 00:13:17,747
before she steals
your volleyball jersey again.
331
00:13:17,776 --> 00:13:20,231
I stole her volleyball jersey.
332
00:13:21,246 --> 00:13:23,412
What? That was what this was about?
333
00:13:23,447 --> 00:13:26,048
- Yeah.
- What a waste of time, then.
334
00:13:26,084 --> 00:13:29,252
You owe Martha gas money. Make
sure she pays you gas money.
335
00:13:29,287 --> 00:13:32,919
Why can't you be more like your sister?
Unbelievable.
336
00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:36,673
[Crying]
337
00:13:37,194 --> 00:13:39,762
Oh, god. There's too much
Estrogen in this car.
338
00:13:39,797 --> 00:13:41,329
Sweetie, you okay?
339
00:13:41,365 --> 00:13:42,731
Today was awful.
340
00:13:42,767 --> 00:13:44,348
Why?
341
00:13:45,263 --> 00:13:47,763
I did a dance in drama and...
342
00:13:48,572 --> 00:13:50,506
Everyone laughed. [Sniffles]
343
00:13:50,541 --> 00:13:52,040
Everyone laughed?
344
00:13:52,231 --> 00:13:54,298
I gotta see this dance.
345
00:13:59,749 --> 00:14:02,683
Penelope: Oh, this is not
my apartment, Mama.
346
00:14:02,719 --> 00:14:05,853
Mrs. Baskets: That's okay, honey.
It'll just take a second.
347
00:14:05,889 --> 00:14:09,390
Oh, is this an ancestor?
348
00:14:09,426 --> 00:14:11,025
Chip's father Nathaniel.
349
00:14:11,450 --> 00:14:12,627
No.
350
00:14:12,662 --> 00:14:15,663
Dale and Chip were 13 when it happened.
351
00:14:16,208 --> 00:14:18,065
I get a call in the middle of the night.
352
00:14:18,739 --> 00:14:21,606
Nathaniel had accidentally
fallen off that bridge
353
00:14:21,766 --> 00:14:23,599
while admiring the river.
354
00:14:24,606 --> 00:14:27,408
I had to explain it to those
kids the next morning.
355
00:14:27,443 --> 00:14:30,184
I... I don't know how I got through that.
356
00:14:31,547 --> 00:14:34,714
You know, Dale was fine. He got over it.
357
00:14:35,028 --> 00:14:38,152
Nothin' sticks to that kid,
he's like Teflon.
358
00:14:38,574 --> 00:14:39,969
But Chip.
359
00:14:40,622 --> 00:14:42,277
I didn't think he was gonna make it.
360
00:14:42,302 --> 00:14:43,869
- He shut down.
- Hm.
361
00:14:45,126 --> 00:14:46,827
And then one day he came home from school,
362
00:14:46,862 --> 00:14:49,255
he said, "I taught myself how to juggle."
363
00:14:50,198 --> 00:14:54,020
And from then on he had
a tiny life preserver.
364
00:14:54,465 --> 00:14:55,798
I knew he'd be okay.
365
00:14:56,169 --> 00:14:58,848
I know he should move
on, but he never will.
366
00:14:59,044 --> 00:15:01,066
He was always a sensitive kid.
367
00:15:01,209 --> 00:15:03,722
So I need you here and now
368
00:15:03,747 --> 00:15:05,802
to promise me
369
00:15:06,381 --> 00:15:08,880
that you won't hurt that sensitive kid.
370
00:15:10,247 --> 00:15:12,021
Mama Basket...
371
00:15:13,407 --> 00:15:16,692
You know, I can't do any more damage.
372
00:15:20,144 --> 00:15:22,278
I wait for you in the car.
373
00:15:27,989 --> 00:15:31,925
Yes, I need a listing in Paris.
374
00:15:32,639 --> 00:15:34,145
That's in France.
375
00:15:44,218 --> 00:15:46,184
You know, Crystal,
the thing about laughter
376
00:15:46,220 --> 00:15:47,986
is that sometimes it can be really hard
377
00:15:48,021 --> 00:15:49,353
to tell the difference between
378
00:15:49,389 --> 00:15:51,055
when people are laughing at you
379
00:15:51,090 --> 00:15:53,324
versus when they're laughing with you.
380
00:15:53,359 --> 00:15:55,026
- I think that in this case...
- They were laughing at her.
381
00:15:55,061 --> 00:15:56,101
They were laughing at you.
382
00:15:56,606 --> 00:15:57,929
- They were?
- Yeah.
383
00:15:57,964 --> 00:16:00,364
But it's okay. That's fine.
384
00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:03,767
But I don't want them to laugh at me.
385
00:16:03,919 --> 00:16:05,594
Here's the thing, Crystal.
386
00:16:06,005 --> 00:16:08,177
You're... you're not
that good of a dancer,
387
00:16:08,888 --> 00:16:10,187
but, uh, now you know.
388
00:16:10,223 --> 00:16:11,989
So the next time you get
up there and dance,
389
00:16:12,024 --> 00:16:14,497
just do it even worse, so when
they're out there laughing,
390
00:16:14,569 --> 00:16:16,145
you can enjoy it.
391
00:16:16,863 --> 00:16:18,863
Because those laughs are yours.
392
00:16:19,028 --> 00:16:20,411
Not theirs. They're yours.
393
00:16:20,903 --> 00:16:22,598
- Really?
- Yes.
394
00:16:22,689 --> 00:16:25,755
So no matter what terrible
thing happens in your life,
395
00:16:26,352 --> 00:16:28,619
it doesn't matter
because you're in on the joke.
396
00:16:28,827 --> 00:16:29,910
You see?
397
00:16:30,130 --> 00:16:32,109
Uh, yes.
398
00:16:32,144 --> 00:16:33,844
What are we having for dinner?
399
00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:37,046
Um, we've got about 20 minutes
left on the hot dog boil,
400
00:16:37,082 --> 00:16:39,148
and I'm also making rice pilaf.
401
00:16:39,380 --> 00:16:40,539
Gross.
402
00:16:40,652 --> 00:16:42,786
Wieners and rice.
403
00:16:42,821 --> 00:16:44,145
Oh, boy.
404
00:16:45,023 --> 00:16:47,290
How many bathrooms do you guys have here?
405
00:16:47,325 --> 00:16:48,216
Three.
406
00:16:48,241 --> 00:16:49,544
I'm gonna need two of 'em.
407
00:16:49,637 --> 00:16:52,138
[Laughing]
408
00:16:55,267 --> 00:16:58,201
[Whistling]
409
00:17:08,846 --> 00:17:11,753
Well, we found our hutch.
$200 under the...
410
00:17:11,778 --> 00:17:12,681
Oh, hi, Marcia.
411
00:17:12,717 --> 00:17:15,183
$200 under the asking price
we was willing to pay,
412
00:17:15,219 --> 00:17:16,786
which is a pretty good deal.
413
00:17:16,821 --> 00:17:20,088
So, uh, Chip, we don't need you anymore.
414
00:17:20,124 --> 00:17:22,525
Girls, that hutch ain't gonna
get itself up the stairs.
415
00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:24,427
Help your mama.
416
00:17:24,462 --> 00:17:26,594
What is that, wieners and rice?
417
00:17:26,630 --> 00:17:28,663
Gross. Girls.
418
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:32,034
Hey, Martha, uh...
419
00:17:32,069 --> 00:17:33,168
Let's take our leave.
420
00:17:33,203 --> 00:17:34,636
Bye, girls.
421
00:17:34,671 --> 00:17:36,004
Bye. Thanks, Uncle Chip.
422
00:17:36,040 --> 00:17:37,879
- You're welcome.
- Bye.
423
00:17:41,878 --> 00:17:46,013
Oh. Well, then. Thank you
so much for buying dinner.
424
00:17:46,049 --> 00:17:47,433
It's nothing.
425
00:17:47,818 --> 00:17:50,952
Thank you very much
for the tour of "Bakerfield."
426
00:17:50,987 --> 00:17:53,090
Oh, sure thing.
427
00:17:53,824 --> 00:17:59,160
Well. I'll wait here. You get your stuff.
428
00:17:59,621 --> 00:18:00,561
What stuff?
429
00:18:00,596 --> 00:18:01,895
All your stuff.
430
00:18:01,931 --> 00:18:03,597
We're gonna head to the airport.
431
00:18:03,632 --> 00:18:06,301
I have a direct flight to Paris for you.
432
00:18:06,502 --> 00:18:09,803
I got it on Icelandair.
I got a very good deal.
433
00:18:09,839 --> 00:18:13,574
Of course, all my miles
are on Southwest, but,
434
00:18:13,609 --> 00:18:15,738
oh, you can't pass up a bargain.
435
00:18:16,111 --> 00:18:18,745
What are you talking about, Mama Basket?
436
00:18:18,781 --> 00:18:22,215
Well, I had a conversation
with your father.
437
00:18:22,451 --> 00:18:24,035
Monsieur Ebert.
438
00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:28,535
I guess I wasn't the only one in the dark
on the marriage.
439
00:18:29,314 --> 00:18:31,792
He said for me to tell you this.
440
00:18:32,961 --> 00:18:34,699
If you're not on that flight,
441
00:18:35,464 --> 00:18:37,863
you can kiss your trust fund goodbye.
442
00:18:39,388 --> 00:18:42,887
Those were his words. He
spoke very good English.
443
00:18:44,114 --> 00:18:45,590
I'm sorry.
444
00:18:46,308 --> 00:18:48,715
I'm not as simple as you think I am, dear.
445
00:18:49,700 --> 00:18:50,843
Here you go.
446
00:18:53,247 --> 00:18:54,680
[Sobbing]
447
00:18:54,716 --> 00:18:57,517
There, there, now. Take your time.
448
00:18:57,840 --> 00:18:59,378
Then get your things.
449
00:19:05,096 --> 00:19:07,096
Did you had a nice time today?
450
00:19:08,566 --> 00:19:11,434
Yeah, I... I guess I did. Why?
451
00:19:11,470 --> 00:19:15,043
Well, I just thought you seemed
really at home with those girls.
452
00:19:15,274 --> 00:19:16,972
Martha, that was my brother's home.
453
00:19:17,242 --> 00:19:19,122
I think you're confused
'cause we look the same.
454
00:19:19,262 --> 00:19:20,262
He's my twin.
455
00:19:20,379 --> 00:19:22,722
No, I mean you did a really good job.
456
00:19:22,747 --> 00:19:25,660
I think you really helped
that little dancer girl.
457
00:19:26,154 --> 00:19:28,605
You could be a great
father some day, Chip.
458
00:19:29,621 --> 00:19:32,361
- Father.
- Yeah.
459
00:19:32,386 --> 00:19:33,419
Hm.
460
00:19:35,965 --> 00:19:37,211
Hey, Martha?
461
00:19:37,699 --> 00:19:38,930
Yeah?
462
00:19:39,394 --> 00:19:41,307
Can I ask you a really important question?
463
00:19:41,722 --> 00:19:43,465
Sure.
464
00:19:45,136 --> 00:19:47,683
Can I use your phone? There's someone
else I'd rather talk to.
465
00:19:48,305 --> 00:19:50,572
Yeah. Sure. It's in my purse.
466
00:19:50,597 --> 00:19:51,660
Thank you.
467
00:19:52,476 --> 00:19:54,476
- [Phone line ringing]
- Penelope: Hello.
468
00:19:54,512 --> 00:19:56,222
- Penelope.
- Chips?
469
00:19:56,247 --> 00:19:59,148
Hi, um, I... listen, I just want
to talk to you for a second.
470
00:19:59,173 --> 00:20:02,808
I had a life-changing experience today,
471
00:20:02,833 --> 00:20:05,691
you know, being daddy
to my nieces, and, um...
472
00:20:06,957 --> 00:20:09,215
I know this might sound crazy but, uh,
473
00:20:09,889 --> 00:20:11,746
I think I want to start a family.
474
00:20:13,308 --> 00:20:15,162
- With you.
- Wait. What?
475
00:20:15,199 --> 00:20:16,564
Look, I know it sounds crazy,
476
00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:17,816
but I think that I can get this right.
477
00:20:17,841 --> 00:20:20,449
- No, Chip.
- I can finally get something right.
478
00:20:20,474 --> 00:20:22,115
- Chip.
- You know, being... being a dad,
479
00:20:22,139 --> 00:20:23,566
- and having a family.
- Chip!
480
00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:25,887
Listen. I'm going back to France.
481
00:20:25,927 --> 00:20:26,960
What's that?
482
00:20:27,277 --> 00:20:29,191
I'm going back to France.
483
00:20:29,332 --> 00:20:31,621
I... Penelope.
484
00:20:31,646 --> 00:20:34,129
- I'm sorry.
- Penelope...
485
00:20:34,451 --> 00:20:38,853
Announcer: Flight 148 to Seattle
will begin boarding now.
486
00:20:39,856 --> 00:20:41,122
Hello?
487
00:20:41,157 --> 00:20:42,823
Penelope.
488
00:20:44,894 --> 00:20:46,326
Penel...
489
00:21:01,249 --> 00:21:02,749
How did it go, Uncle Chip?
490
00:21:08,750 --> 00:21:10,426
It was the wrong number.
491
00:21:11,953 --> 00:21:13,871
[Exhales]
492
00:21:14,260 --> 00:21:17,683
493
00:21:17,707 --> 00:21:19,707
Synced and corrected by Nest0r
www.addic7ed.com
494
00:21:19,757 --> 00:21:24,307
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