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1
00:00:01,339 --> 00:00:04,375
Breakfast, breakfast. In you go, in you go.
2
00:00:04,377 --> 00:00:07,912
Oh, James Pfaff, standardized testing day.
3
00:00:07,914 --> 00:00:09,446
Everybody eats breakfast.
4
00:00:09,448 --> 00:00:11,649
- I already ate breakfast.
- Then have an orange juice.
5
00:00:11,651 --> 00:00:13,517
Well, I find orange juice
to be the most pedestrian
6
00:00:13,519 --> 00:00:14,752
of the major juices.
7
00:00:14,754 --> 00:00:16,153
James, your voice is changing,
8
00:00:16,155 --> 00:00:17,755
things are gonna get not-cute fast, okay?
9
00:00:17,757 --> 00:00:18,989
I'd suggest you dig deep
10
00:00:18,991 --> 00:00:20,524
and find a less annoying personality.
11
00:00:20,526 --> 00:00:23,260
Now go do these flash cards at your table.
12
00:00:23,262 --> 00:00:24,995
Now go.
13
00:00:24,997 --> 00:00:27,631
Hmm. Taking these tests pretty seriously.
14
00:00:27,633 --> 00:00:29,199
Did three ghosts visit you last night?
15
00:00:29,201 --> 00:00:30,768
Yeah, well, maybe I just
want my kids to score well
16
00:00:30,770 --> 00:00:31,728
so they don't become gym teachers.
17
00:00:31,748 --> 00:00:33,537
Yeah, I'm sure your
commitment has nothing to do
18
00:00:33,539 --> 00:00:34,738
with the
end-of-the-year bonuses
19
00:00:34,740 --> 00:00:36,540
that teachers get based on the scores.
20
00:00:36,542 --> 00:00:38,041
Don't you have a test?
21
00:00:38,043 --> 00:00:40,611
Oh, sorry, that's right...
nobody cares about gym.
22
00:00:40,613 --> 00:00:42,880
Um, ever heard of the
Presidential Fitness Test?
23
00:00:42,882 --> 00:00:44,248
The president cares.
24
00:00:44,250 --> 00:00:45,249
The president.
25
00:00:45,251 --> 00:00:47,050
Oh, Joel.
26
00:00:47,052 --> 00:00:49,886
My sweet, dumb, hot Joel.
27
00:00:49,888 --> 00:00:51,321
I need to talk.
28
00:00:53,124 --> 00:00:54,992
Carla is coming.
29
00:00:54,994 --> 00:00:56,126
Your ex-wife, Carla?
30
00:00:56,128 --> 00:00:57,694
Yes, Carla, Carla.
31
00:00:57,696 --> 00:00:59,563
She works for the state testing agency.
32
00:00:59,565 --> 00:01:01,565
She's gonna be proctoring
the tests all week.
33
00:01:01,567 --> 00:01:04,167
You know, I met Carla
when she was giving a test.
34
00:01:04,169 --> 00:01:05,736
I asked her out on a Scantron sheet.
35
00:01:05,738 --> 00:01:07,671
It was A) very romantic.
36
00:01:07,673 --> 00:01:10,307
B) weird. Or C) sad.
37
00:01:10,309 --> 00:01:12,209
Oh, no, you're right. It
was D) two of the above.
38
00:01:12,211 --> 00:01:15,645
I'm a wreck. I haven't
seen Carla in months.
39
00:01:15,647 --> 00:01:17,013
You can do this.
40
00:01:17,015 --> 00:01:19,616
Look, I haven't spoken to
my ex since I moved out,
41
00:01:19,618 --> 00:01:20,884
but Ray's been texting me.
42
00:01:20,886 --> 00:01:22,419
And you're just telling me this now?
43
00:01:22,421 --> 00:01:23,753
Well, I haven't told anyone.
44
00:01:23,755 --> 00:01:25,488
But I am your best
friend. What does he want?
45
00:01:25,490 --> 00:01:26,923
To cheat on his new girlfriend.
46
00:01:26,925 --> 00:01:28,491
I guess.
47
00:01:28,493 --> 00:01:30,927
Look, I've dreamed of
him crawling back to me,
48
00:01:30,929 --> 00:01:32,962
but I have not responded to him once.
49
00:01:32,964 --> 00:01:34,164
You didn't text back?
50
00:01:34,166 --> 00:01:35,598
Very strong.
51
00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:38,535
Our exes don't have power over us anymore.
52
00:01:38,537 --> 00:01:40,937
Boom! I have a plan. Let's go.
53
00:01:40,939 --> 00:01:43,073
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
54
00:01:43,075 --> 00:01:44,407
Ooh!
55
00:01:44,409 --> 00:01:47,710
Now the Goodwill won't take it back.
56
00:01:47,712 --> 00:01:49,445
(laughing): I'd better hang up,
57
00:01:49,447 --> 00:01:52,549
don't want to make the president jealous.
58
00:01:52,551 --> 00:01:54,951
Sorry. That was, uh, Michelle Obama.
59
00:01:54,953 --> 00:01:57,353
She called to congratulate
me on a job well done.
60
00:01:57,355 --> 00:01:58,621
Boy, can she talk.
61
00:01:58,623 --> 00:02:00,023
God, you're inspiring.
62
00:02:00,025 --> 00:02:01,157
LILY: Can I have your autograph?
63
00:02:01,159 --> 00:02:03,793
BRONWEN: Can I have your
handprints in wet concrete?
64
00:02:03,795 --> 00:02:04,927
Will you be my new dad?
65
00:02:04,929 --> 00:02:06,329
Let me check my schedule.
66
00:02:06,331 --> 00:02:07,597
Carl?
67
00:02:07,599 --> 00:02:09,232
Carla?
68
00:02:09,234 --> 00:02:10,967
The board told you I was coming.
69
00:02:10,969 --> 00:02:12,235
I guess it slipped my mind.
70
00:02:12,237 --> 00:02:13,603
CARLA: Yeah, right.
71
00:02:13,605 --> 00:02:14,971
Can you get me coffee?
72
00:02:14,973 --> 00:02:17,573
Starbucks. A real venti.
73
00:02:17,575 --> 00:02:20,810
I know you ask for a Grande in a venti cup.
74
00:02:20,812 --> 00:02:22,945
Thank you.
75
00:02:22,947 --> 00:02:25,047
Stay strong.
76
00:02:25,049 --> 00:02:26,816
Like I did with Ray.
77
00:02:30,821 --> 00:02:32,888
Yes, Carla. I'll get you coffee.
78
00:02:32,890 --> 00:02:34,824
It's something about our exes.
79
00:02:34,826 --> 00:02:36,659
They always have power over you.
80
00:02:36,661 --> 00:02:37,693
Not Ray.
81
00:02:37,695 --> 00:02:38,694
Don't fool yourself.
82
00:02:38,696 --> 00:02:40,296
And a not-stale blueberry scone.
83
00:02:40,298 --> 00:02:41,897
I got to go.
84
00:02:44,301 --> 00:02:47,236
Nah, nah-nah, nah, nah, nah, nah
85
00:02:47,238 --> 00:02:48,899
Nah-nah, nah, nah-nah!
86
00:02:49,307 --> 00:02:50,940
Okay, everyone.
87
00:02:50,942 --> 00:02:53,776
Today begins standardized testing week.
88
00:02:53,778 --> 00:02:55,711
Schools are made and
unmade during this time.
89
00:02:55,713 --> 00:02:57,246
Just go ask Roosevelt Middle.
90
00:02:57,248 --> 00:02:58,614
Or, as they now call it,
91
00:02:58,616 --> 00:03:00,549
the parking lot behind Costco Express.
92
00:03:00,551 --> 00:03:02,184
This is our testing agency rep,
93
00:03:02,186 --> 00:03:04,253
Carla Gaines.
94
00:03:04,255 --> 00:03:06,956
Now, you might notice that she
and I have the same last name.
95
00:03:06,958 --> 00:03:09,325
- That is because...
- Actually, it's Allen.
96
00:03:09,327 --> 00:03:10,959
It's Carla Allen now.
97
00:03:10,961 --> 00:03:12,895
Oh, so you went back to your maiden name.
98
00:03:12,897 --> 00:03:14,196
I thought you always liked Gaines.
99
00:03:14,198 --> 00:03:15,731
People say it has a regal quality.
100
00:03:15,733 --> 00:03:17,099
Regal?
101
00:03:17,101 --> 00:03:19,435
Your family was sued
for bootlegging Sprite.
102
00:03:19,437 --> 00:03:22,604
Okay, Carla will be proctoring the exams.
103
00:03:22,606 --> 00:03:25,541
Okay, I know no one likes testing.
104
00:03:25,543 --> 00:03:26,975
I love testing.
105
00:03:26,977 --> 00:03:28,644
Standardized tests are my hobby.
106
00:03:28,646 --> 00:03:30,712
I am part of an online enthusiast group.
107
00:03:30,714 --> 00:03:32,915
Oh... you're one of them.
108
00:03:32,917 --> 00:03:34,116
Oh, I get it.
109
00:03:34,118 --> 00:03:37,286
Some of my best friends
are odd white people.
110
00:03:37,288 --> 00:03:39,421
All right, for those of
you who are not familiar
111
00:03:39,423 --> 00:03:41,690
with the testing world because
you actually have lives,
112
00:03:41,692 --> 00:03:43,625
here are the headlines:
113
00:03:43,627 --> 00:03:46,428
give the kids pencils and your job is done.
114
00:03:46,430 --> 00:03:49,031
Folks, we're starting with social studies.
115
00:03:49,033 --> 00:03:50,032
What-what!
116
00:03:50,034 --> 00:03:52,267
(bell rings)
117
00:03:52,269 --> 00:03:53,468
Ree-Ree.
118
00:03:53,470 --> 00:03:54,936
How was Ferret Nationals?
119
00:03:54,938 --> 00:03:56,404
Any hooking up?
120
00:03:56,406 --> 00:03:58,607
Oh, well, Francis met a pretty sexy sable
121
00:03:58,609 --> 00:03:59,808
with pointed tips...
122
00:03:59,810 --> 00:04:01,543
Oh, you meant me.
123
00:04:01,545 --> 00:04:04,579
Uh, yeah, but you watched
ferrets have sex, didn't you?
124
00:04:04,581 --> 00:04:06,548
(softly laughs): No... no.
125
00:04:06,550 --> 00:04:09,050
If that video is on your phone, delete it.
126
00:04:09,052 --> 00:04:11,152
And let's grab a coffee
while I'm here this week.
127
00:04:11,154 --> 00:04:13,321
Irene. So,
128
00:04:13,323 --> 00:04:15,557
you stayed friends with
Carla even after the divorce?
129
00:04:15,559 --> 00:04:17,258
You saw how much she hurt him.
130
00:04:17,260 --> 00:04:20,528
Oh, well... I... I mean, I met
Carla before I even knew Carl.
131
00:04:20,530 --> 00:04:21,930
We're in a fantasy league together,
132
00:04:21,932 --> 00:04:22,964
fantasy school board league.
133
00:04:22,966 --> 00:04:24,399
I won the whole thing last year.
134
00:04:24,401 --> 00:04:26,434
Superintendant Charles
was a beast. (Chuckles)
135
00:04:26,436 --> 00:04:29,270
Irene, you have to pick
a side in a breakup.
136
00:04:29,272 --> 00:04:31,072
You're either with Carl or against him.
137
00:04:31,074 --> 00:04:33,341
Oh, okay, fine, fine, but I just...
138
00:04:33,343 --> 00:04:35,095
I don't even know how I
would break up with Carla.
139
00:04:35,100 --> 00:04:38,379
Oh, I have broken up with
lots of friends, I can help.
140
00:04:38,381 --> 00:04:40,515
Okay, good. This is
gonna come as a surprise,
141
00:04:40,517 --> 00:04:42,850
but I have not done a lot
of breaking up in my life.
142
00:04:42,852 --> 00:04:44,552
I'm a little odd. My grandma used to say,
143
00:04:44,554 --> 00:04:47,021
"You're a weirdo, Irene. Save your money".
144
00:04:47,023 --> 00:04:48,523
Mine, too.
145
00:04:48,525 --> 00:04:49,924
Ah.
146
00:04:49,926 --> 00:04:51,426
So, how'd your kids do on the test?
147
00:04:51,428 --> 00:04:52,760
They said it was easy.
148
00:04:52,762 --> 00:04:54,829
I'm proud of them. They worked hard.
149
00:04:54,831 --> 00:04:57,665
I mean, I made them work hard, so
I deserve all the credit, but still.
150
00:04:57,667 --> 00:05:00,001
I think those little
dummies really came through.
151
00:05:00,003 --> 00:05:01,769
Ooh. I'd say slow down,
152
00:05:01,771 --> 00:05:03,838
but I prefer you get drunk
and do something you'll regret.
153
00:05:03,840 --> 00:05:06,607
Like a gym teacher?
154
00:05:06,609 --> 00:05:08,709
Maybe. It's been a while.
155
00:05:08,711 --> 00:05:11,879
Yeah, you've been with
ol' Puffy Vest Janet.
156
00:05:11,881 --> 00:05:13,981
I mean, how warm does her torso need to be?
157
00:05:13,983 --> 00:05:16,884
(laughing) We were late, and you don't
158
00:05:16,886 --> 00:05:19,020
want to ask for directions
'cause you said, "If I can't
159
00:05:19,022 --> 00:05:21,489
find my way to a Luther Vandross concert,
160
00:05:21,491 --> 00:05:23,124
what kind of black woman am I??
161
00:05:23,126 --> 00:05:26,494
- Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- (Sighs)
162
00:05:26,496 --> 00:05:28,295
Two Dark 'N' Stormies.
163
00:05:28,297 --> 00:05:29,964
Your drink is a Dark 'N' Stormy?
164
00:05:29,966 --> 00:05:33,033
- Yes, and, unfortunately, type of woman.
- Good to know.
165
00:05:33,035 --> 00:05:35,469
MEREDITH (clears throat):
You brought Carla?
166
00:05:35,471 --> 00:05:37,104
I hope you're not
falling into old patterns.
167
00:05:37,106 --> 00:05:39,874
No way. Tonight I'm paying.
168
00:05:42,777 --> 00:05:45,145
(phone chimes) Wow, that's a lot of texts.
169
00:05:45,147 --> 00:05:46,347
It's, uh, it's Janet.
170
00:05:46,349 --> 00:05:47,514
I'm not gonna respond.
171
00:05:47,516 --> 00:05:50,084
Ugh. Just break up with her already.
172
00:05:50,086 --> 00:05:53,254
I'm trying. I was hoping
she'd just get the idea.
173
00:05:53,256 --> 00:05:54,855
You need to be direct but kind.
174
00:05:54,857 --> 00:05:56,023
(clears throat)
175
00:05:56,025 --> 00:05:58,459
Janet, you're super annoying
176
00:05:58,461 --> 00:06:00,661
and I can't stand to
look at your face anymore.
177
00:06:00,663 --> 00:06:02,129
- Bye! (Chuckles)
- (phone chimes)
178
00:06:02,131 --> 00:06:04,098
Oh, and who's texting you?
179
00:06:04,100 --> 00:06:06,233
Wha... Ray? Your ex-husband?
180
00:06:06,235 --> 00:06:07,868
Yes, but I haven't texted back.
181
00:06:07,870 --> 00:06:09,670
First because my phone got turned off,
182
00:06:09,672 --> 00:06:11,038
but now because I'm not interested.
183
00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:12,372
Then why haven't you responded?
184
00:06:12,374 --> 00:06:13,674
Hoping he just gets the idea?
185
00:06:13,676 --> 00:06:15,509
This is nothing like Janet, okay?
186
00:06:15,511 --> 00:06:19,580
- We were married and in love.
- And he cheated on you.
187
00:06:19,582 --> 00:06:20,881
Okay, I'll make you a deal:
188
00:06:20,883 --> 00:06:22,316
you tell Ray to stop texting you
189
00:06:22,318 --> 00:06:23,717
and I'll break up with Puffy Vest.
190
00:06:23,719 --> 00:06:26,219
So, deal?
191
00:06:27,288 --> 00:06:28,455
Deal.
192
00:06:28,457 --> 00:06:31,124
Great. Meet at my place in an hour. Naked.
193
00:06:31,126 --> 00:06:32,359
For sexy reasons.
194
00:06:32,361 --> 00:06:34,227
But also because my AC is broken.
195
00:06:35,763 --> 00:06:37,230
Oh,
196
00:06:37,232 --> 00:06:39,066
I missed that.
197
00:06:39,068 --> 00:06:41,368
And this.
198
00:06:41,370 --> 00:06:42,736
(laughs)
199
00:06:42,738 --> 00:06:44,871
Well, what can you say?
200
00:06:44,873 --> 00:06:45,906
I'm pretty great.
201
00:06:45,908 --> 00:06:47,741
(both laugh)
202
00:06:47,743 --> 00:06:51,077
Don't you have any normal
food here, like vodka?
203
00:06:51,079 --> 00:06:52,612
I broke up with Janet,
204
00:06:52,614 --> 00:06:54,748
you told Ray off.
205
00:06:54,750 --> 00:06:56,249
- Let's drink the cheap stuff.
- (Gasps)
206
00:06:56,251 --> 00:06:58,351
Vodka in a plastic bottle?
207
00:06:58,353 --> 00:07:01,454
And Frat-o-ween 2003 cups?
208
00:07:01,456 --> 00:07:04,624
Wow, is this how you usually get
the ladies to have a sleepover?
209
00:07:04,626 --> 00:07:05,992
Ooh, so you're sleeping over?
210
00:07:05,994 --> 00:07:07,227
Well, I've always wanted
211
00:07:07,229 --> 00:07:09,062
to see this place during the day and
212
00:07:09,064 --> 00:07:11,231
find out if this couch is brown or orange.
213
00:07:11,233 --> 00:07:12,399
Well, technically, it's not a couch.
214
00:07:12,401 --> 00:07:14,100
It's a pile of cinderblocks
215
00:07:14,102 --> 00:07:15,902
- with a sleeping bag thrown over it, but...
- (phone chimes)
216
00:07:15,904 --> 00:07:17,531
(chuckles)
217
00:07:17,538 --> 00:07:20,150
_
218
00:07:21,275 --> 00:07:22,475
Anything important?
219
00:07:22,477 --> 00:07:23,576
Yes.
220
00:07:23,578 --> 00:07:24,911
Irene got a new ferret.
221
00:07:24,913 --> 00:07:26,279
Okay.
222
00:07:26,281 --> 00:07:28,147
I gave you the cup that got the least melty
223
00:07:28,149 --> 00:07:29,782
at our last bonfire, so...
224
00:07:30,851 --> 00:07:32,285
You're so good to me.
225
00:07:32,287 --> 00:07:33,987
(laughs)
226
00:07:37,191 --> 00:07:40,460
Ugh, I don't know if I can do this.
227
00:07:40,462 --> 00:07:41,928
I can't have fewer friends.
228
00:07:41,930 --> 00:07:43,696
Twitter already thinks that I'm a robot.
229
00:07:43,698 --> 00:07:46,666
You owe this to Carl. And
remember, no eye contact.
230
00:07:46,668 --> 00:07:47,934
Eyes are anatomical beggars.
231
00:07:47,936 --> 00:07:50,036
Here we go.
232
00:07:50,038 --> 00:07:52,839
- Oh, Carla.
- Hey.
233
00:07:52,841 --> 00:07:57,476
Hi. It is with a heavy heart that I...
234
00:07:57,478 --> 00:08:00,213
Oh, God, I made eye
contact. They are beggars.
235
00:08:00,215 --> 00:08:02,081
What is going on?
236
00:08:02,083 --> 00:08:04,617
It is with a heavy heart that I
237
00:08:04,619 --> 00:08:06,786
deliver the following news.
238
00:08:06,788 --> 00:08:09,388
MEREDITH: How about I
reconsider when you're 18, okay?
239
00:08:09,390 --> 00:08:11,791
Now go.
240
00:08:11,793 --> 00:08:15,361
Hey, sorry again you saw my
pillow without the pillowcase.
241
00:08:15,363 --> 00:08:17,129
(laughs)
242
00:08:17,131 --> 00:08:18,597
Ray?
243
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:24,069
I thought you told this guy to get lost.
244
00:08:24,071 --> 00:08:25,438
Joel, I'll call you later.
245
00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:34,246
Uh, I left my lunch box here in 1973.
246
00:08:35,382 --> 00:08:38,217
And, uh, I came to apologize
247
00:08:38,219 --> 00:08:40,419
for... everything.
248
00:08:42,806 --> 00:08:45,841
IRENE: Ginny. Don't you feel so much better
249
00:08:45,843 --> 00:08:48,544
now that you've broken up with
Carla? I always feel better, like,
250
00:08:48,546 --> 00:08:51,146
one less person to care
about in a natural disaster.
251
00:08:51,148 --> 00:08:53,215
Well, before I could
get to the breaking up,
252
00:08:53,217 --> 00:08:54,383
Carla told me a secret.
253
00:08:54,385 --> 00:08:56,118
Do not tell me,
254
00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:58,453
I am terrible at keeping secrets.
255
00:08:58,605 --> 00:09:00,072
Ms. Rogers is pregnant.
256
00:09:00,074 --> 00:09:01,540
And my neighbor kisses
her dog on the mouth.
257
00:09:01,542 --> 00:09:03,475
- I've never been... to Atlanta.
- Irene.
258
00:09:03,477 --> 00:09:04,643
Tell me the secret.
259
00:09:04,645 --> 00:09:06,211
Carla's engaged.
260
00:09:06,213 --> 00:09:08,780
You have to tell Carl.
261
00:09:08,782 --> 00:09:10,348
Have to tell him what?
262
00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:12,984
I'm not gonna make the,
uh, faculty roundup.
263
00:09:12,986 --> 00:09:14,286
Sparks are flying with Carla,
264
00:09:14,288 --> 00:09:15,754
she wants a private meeting.
265
00:09:15,756 --> 00:09:17,422
Looks like I'll be spending my lunch hour
266
00:09:17,424 --> 00:09:18,857
writing a casual sonnet.
267
00:09:18,859 --> 00:09:21,059
(clicks tongue)
268
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:22,694
You can't tell Carl.
269
00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:24,663
Damn it, woman, make up your mind.
270
00:09:24,665 --> 00:09:26,665
I don't want to be the other woman.
271
00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:28,366
I want you to be the only woman.
272
00:09:28,368 --> 00:09:29,668
Wait, what are you saying?
273
00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:31,770
I... I broke it off with Mitzi.
274
00:09:31,772 --> 00:09:33,638
It was a mistake.
275
00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:34,706
I know that.
276
00:09:34,708 --> 00:09:36,708
It was just some...
277
00:09:36,710 --> 00:09:38,643
embarrassing midlife crisis.
278
00:09:38,645 --> 00:09:41,679
Ray, you left me with nothing.
279
00:09:41,681 --> 00:09:43,114
I know, the prenup.
280
00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:45,183
But I only did that
'cause all my friends did.
281
00:09:45,185 --> 00:09:47,018
But I'm not like my friends.
282
00:09:47,100 --> 00:09:48,733
I don't want three wives.
283
00:09:48,735 --> 00:09:50,235
Just two.
284
00:09:50,237 --> 00:09:53,538
You might have been my second wife, but...
285
00:09:53,540 --> 00:09:55,073
you've always been my true love.
286
00:09:55,075 --> 00:09:57,508
Please let me try to make it up to you.
287
00:09:57,510 --> 00:09:59,377
No prenup this time.
288
00:09:59,379 --> 00:10:02,680
It wasn't about the money, Ray.
289
00:10:02,682 --> 00:10:06,184
- I'm at work.
- Well, come home.
290
00:10:06,186 --> 00:10:08,553
I love you, Meredith.
291
00:10:10,622 --> 00:10:12,323
I never stopped loving you.
292
00:10:16,895 --> 00:10:18,896
Think about it.
293
00:10:18,898 --> 00:10:21,866
(car door opens, engine starts)
294
00:10:23,402 --> 00:10:26,370
(wheels squeak)
295
00:10:26,372 --> 00:10:28,372
I was trapped.
296
00:10:28,374 --> 00:10:29,507
Didn't want to interrupt.
297
00:10:29,509 --> 00:10:31,942
Ray seems nice.
298
00:10:31,944 --> 00:10:35,713
If it doesn't work out, can I tap that?
299
00:10:35,815 --> 00:10:38,315
(quietly): She'll like this right here.
300
00:10:38,317 --> 00:10:39,416
You were right about putting
301
00:10:39,418 --> 00:10:40,784
the chairs next to my desk.
302
00:10:40,786 --> 00:10:42,386
Now, when I meet with students, I'll be
303
00:10:42,388 --> 00:10:43,687
like the black Jimmy Kimmel...
304
00:10:43,689 --> 00:10:45,089
which I've felt like for a long time.
305
00:10:45,091 --> 00:10:47,024
Yeah. You know, I wanted to talk to you
306
00:10:47,026 --> 00:10:48,092
about Meredith.
307
00:10:48,094 --> 00:10:49,693
How long has she worked here?
308
00:10:49,695 --> 00:10:51,228
About six months, minus the week
309
00:10:51,230 --> 00:10:53,030
she was in Cabo doing missionary work.
310
00:10:53,032 --> 00:10:55,265
Hmm. And how well do you know her?
311
00:10:55,267 --> 00:10:56,834
Well, she was an emergency hire.
312
00:10:56,836 --> 00:10:58,969
We met, we laughed, I cried,
313
00:10:58,971 --> 00:11:00,571
she came on board immediately.
314
00:11:00,573 --> 00:11:01,972
Instant connection.
315
00:11:01,974 --> 00:11:04,074
Just... trusted the old gut.
316
00:11:04,076 --> 00:11:06,477
You know you can't trust your gut, Carl.
317
00:11:06,479 --> 00:11:08,212
You were Team Jacob.
318
00:11:08,214 --> 00:11:10,447
Was I wrong? I haven't read Eclipse yet.
319
00:11:10,449 --> 00:11:13,083
I've been on the library
wait list for two years.
320
00:11:13,085 --> 00:11:15,052
You got a real problem on your hands.
321
00:11:15,054 --> 00:11:18,755
I know. It's these teenagers...
they never return books.
322
00:11:18,757 --> 00:11:20,624
No. It's Meredith.
323
00:11:20,626 --> 00:11:22,292
Okay, your "connection�"
324
00:11:22,294 --> 00:11:24,194
may have clouded your judgment.
325
00:11:24,196 --> 00:11:27,130
I have the results of
her students' test scores.
326
00:11:27,132 --> 00:11:28,532
Once we report these,
327
00:11:28,534 --> 00:11:31,868
the school board is gonna be all over you.
328
00:11:35,006 --> 00:11:37,674
(gasps) Oh, thank God you're here.
329
00:11:37,676 --> 00:11:39,609
You are not gonna believe this.
330
00:11:39,611 --> 00:11:41,311
Ray came back. (Pants)
331
00:11:41,313 --> 00:11:42,746
My head is spinning.
332
00:11:42,748 --> 00:11:45,115
I... I might have to take
another missionary trip
333
00:11:45,117 --> 00:11:48,118
just to... figure some of
this stuff out, you know?
334
00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:50,153
Carla got the test results back.
335
00:11:50,155 --> 00:11:53,356
We have a real problem
on our hands, Ms. Davis.
336
00:11:54,625 --> 00:11:56,960
Why are you being so formal?
337
00:11:56,962 --> 00:11:59,162
Your students failed.
338
00:11:59,164 --> 00:12:00,730
All of them.
339
00:12:00,732 --> 00:12:03,366
But I worked so hard.
340
00:12:03,368 --> 00:12:05,568
I mean, I really worked.
341
00:12:05,570 --> 00:12:07,871
I didn't just say I was working.
342
00:12:07,873 --> 00:12:09,806
Like, I really worked hard.
343
00:12:09,808 --> 00:12:12,575
I made flash cards, I
gave inspiring speeches,
344
00:12:12,577 --> 00:12:14,177
I stayed after class.
345
00:12:14,179 --> 00:12:15,845
I gave them my real e-mail address.
346
00:12:15,847 --> 00:12:17,013
You don't even have that.
347
00:12:17,015 --> 00:12:18,648
I'm good at this, Carl. I am.
348
00:12:18,650 --> 00:12:21,150
The results are clear.
349
00:12:21,152 --> 00:12:23,186
I'm sorry.
350
00:12:23,188 --> 00:12:25,188
Carla was right.
351
00:12:25,190 --> 00:12:28,992
Our connection clouded my judgment.
352
00:12:28,994 --> 00:12:30,893
I'm not sure Nixon is for you.
353
00:12:33,364 --> 00:12:35,765
Yeah, me neither.
354
00:12:37,701 --> 00:12:39,402
Meredith...
355
00:12:39,404 --> 00:12:41,170
I quit.
356
00:12:41,172 --> 00:12:43,539
This isn't where I belong.
357
00:12:43,541 --> 00:12:45,174
Hi, honey. I'm home.
358
00:12:45,176 --> 00:12:47,343
RAY (over intercom):
Great, I'll buzz you in.
359
00:12:47,345 --> 00:12:49,378
(door buzzes)
360
00:12:56,920 --> 00:13:01,223
I missed how long it takes
for me to run into your arms.
361
00:13:04,828 --> 00:13:09,065
I really can't believe you're here.
362
00:13:09,067 --> 00:13:10,433
Mm.
363
00:13:10,435 --> 00:13:11,967
Let me get you some wine.
364
00:13:11,969 --> 00:13:14,270
Yolanda!
365
00:13:15,105 --> 00:13:16,739
I missed you.
366
00:13:16,741 --> 00:13:18,274
I missed you.
367
00:13:18,276 --> 00:13:21,177
I missed this beautiful fireplace
368
00:13:21,179 --> 00:13:24,780
Mm. And beautiful furniture and beauti...
369
00:13:24,782 --> 00:13:28,117
nice personality maid.
370
00:13:28,119 --> 00:13:30,719
Yolanda, how are you?
371
00:13:30,721 --> 00:13:33,055
RAY: You really belong here, you know?
372
00:13:33,057 --> 00:13:35,257
Yeah. It does feel like home.
373
00:13:39,985 --> 00:13:41,686
Greetings, students.
374
00:13:41,688 --> 00:13:43,954
Next week we have to retake
375
00:13:43,956 --> 00:13:45,289
the standardized social studies test.
376
00:13:45,291 --> 00:13:47,391
And I'm gonna help teach you guys.
377
00:13:47,393 --> 00:13:48,893
Where's Meredith?
378
00:13:49,761 --> 00:13:51,796
We gave her to a farm
379
00:13:51,798 --> 00:13:54,298
so she could run around and be free.
380
00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:55,533
Meredith's dead?
381
00:13:55,535 --> 00:13:57,301
Hey. Where's Meredith?
382
00:13:57,303 --> 00:14:00,538
I can't hold it in anymore. She quit!
383
00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:02,706
I wanted my own class, but...
384
00:14:02,708 --> 00:14:04,041
I didn't want it this way.
385
00:14:04,043 --> 00:14:05,609
Wait, what?
386
00:14:05,611 --> 00:14:07,177
Well, she did move all of her stuff
387
00:14:07,179 --> 00:14:08,379
out of the guesthouse last night.
388
00:14:08,381 --> 00:14:10,481
But she forgot her bag of...
389
00:14:10,483 --> 00:14:12,016
oregano.
390
00:14:12,851 --> 00:14:14,852
I'll take that.
391
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:17,121
I'm making lasagna tonight.
392
00:14:17,123 --> 00:14:18,288
Where did she go?
393
00:14:18,290 --> 00:14:20,891
She chose Ray.
394
00:14:20,893 --> 00:14:23,026
Now I'm never gonna get to tap that.
395
00:14:23,028 --> 00:14:25,729
Kim, what are you talking about?
She went to go tell Ray off.
396
00:14:25,731 --> 00:14:27,431
I saw them in the parking lot.
397
00:14:27,433 --> 00:14:30,100
She didn't look like
she was telling him off.
398
00:14:30,102 --> 00:14:32,302
I took a body language course at camp.
399
00:14:32,304 --> 00:14:34,671
Why would she get back together with him?
400
00:14:34,673 --> 00:14:36,707
I thought she was happy here.
401
00:14:37,675 --> 00:14:39,276
Sorry.
402
00:14:40,478 --> 00:14:41,979
Wham, bam, here I am
403
00:14:41,981 --> 00:14:43,914
Goddess of the glitter and glam
404
00:14:43,916 --> 00:14:46,783
Yes, catch a breath,
gotcha eating out of my hand
405
00:14:46,785 --> 00:14:48,352
Bam, thank you, ma'am...
406
00:14:48,354 --> 00:14:51,655
MEREDITH: Oh... where my tennis bitches at?
407
00:14:51,657 --> 00:14:54,091
Mere.
408
00:14:54,093 --> 00:14:56,259
Did you get a job here, too?
409
00:14:56,261 --> 00:14:59,262
- Uh, no.
- W... well, don't you have work?
410
00:14:59,264 --> 00:15:01,898
Or is it Saturday or
Sunday or teacher work day
411
00:15:01,900 --> 00:15:03,433
or one of your sick weeks?
412
00:15:03,435 --> 00:15:06,203
From now on, every week's a sick week.
413
00:15:06,205 --> 00:15:08,171
I'm back together with Ray.
414
00:15:08,173 --> 00:15:10,106
Oh, my God! You are!
415
00:15:10,108 --> 00:15:11,908
Oh, thank God!
416
00:15:11,910 --> 00:15:15,111
It was impossible to replace you.
417
00:15:15,113 --> 00:15:17,213
Replacement Meredith, you may go.
418
00:15:18,349 --> 00:15:20,116
Yeah!
419
00:15:20,118 --> 00:15:21,618
(laughing)
420
00:15:21,620 --> 00:15:23,586
I can't believe Meredith left.
421
00:15:23,588 --> 00:15:26,189
Do you think I'll stay friends with her?
422
00:15:26,191 --> 00:15:28,958
Ms. Harris, the choir teacher,
she said we'd still be friends
423
00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:30,460
when she became a dental hygienist,
424
00:15:30,462 --> 00:15:33,596
but... now I only see her every six months.
425
00:15:33,598 --> 00:15:36,499
Why would she throw away her
teaching career for some rich guy?
426
00:15:36,501 --> 00:15:39,602
Aside from that being her
unwavering plan from the beginning.
427
00:15:39,604 --> 00:15:41,571
(grunts)
428
00:15:41,573 --> 00:15:44,507
Ah. Hey, Carla. How's it going?
429
00:15:44,509 --> 00:15:48,578
Good. Except for the fact
that all of Ms. Davis' students
430
00:15:48,580 --> 00:15:50,113
failed the exam.
431
00:15:50,115 --> 00:15:51,381
It's like the woman
432
00:15:51,383 --> 00:15:53,750
has no teaching experience whatsoever.
433
00:15:53,752 --> 00:15:55,885
Oh.
434
00:15:55,887 --> 00:15:57,420
How could you let Meredith quit?
435
00:15:57,422 --> 00:16:00,022
She was given a choice,
but like Carla said,
436
00:16:00,024 --> 00:16:01,591
the test results speak volumes.
437
00:16:01,593 --> 00:16:03,392
We all know Meredith struggled.
438
00:16:03,394 --> 00:16:06,229
She did rent her fourth period
class out as a cleaning service.
439
00:16:06,231 --> 00:16:07,730
Best 600 bucks I ever spent.
440
00:16:07,732 --> 00:16:09,065
Well, you drove Meredith back
441
00:16:09,067 --> 00:16:10,600
into Ray's dumb rich arms. Look,
442
00:16:10,602 --> 00:16:12,368
Carla and I are really reconnecting,
443
00:16:12,370 --> 00:16:14,103
and she told me to get
out in front of this thing,
444
00:16:14,105 --> 00:16:15,404
and she's right... Carla's always right.
445
00:16:15,406 --> 00:16:17,073
Carla's not right, and she's engaged.
446
00:16:17,075 --> 00:16:18,174
- What?!
- Really?
447
00:16:18,176 --> 00:16:20,176
Oh. Uh...
448
00:16:20,178 --> 00:16:22,678
new Carl proposed last week.
449
00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:25,481
She's moving on with another Carl?!
450
00:16:25,483 --> 00:16:27,083
I thought he was a rebound Carl,
451
00:16:27,085 --> 00:16:29,118
and I thought we were giving off sparks.
452
00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:31,153
(bangs table) See? My gut is wrong.
453
00:16:31,155 --> 00:16:32,588
No, it's not wrong about Meredith.
454
00:16:32,590 --> 00:16:33,956
I know what the results said,
455
00:16:33,958 --> 00:16:35,591
but why are you listening to Carla?
456
00:16:35,593 --> 00:16:37,593
You have been doing just fine without her.
457
00:16:37,595 --> 00:16:38,961
You know Meredith.
458
00:16:39,963 --> 00:16:42,398
Well, yeah, I know her
pretty well, too, I mean...
459
00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:45,034
- This juice is $15!
- Mm.
460
00:16:45,036 --> 00:16:47,803
- I love pressed juices.
- Oh...
461
00:16:47,805 --> 00:16:49,438
Are they the same as regular juices?
462
00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:51,340
(laughter)
463
00:16:51,342 --> 00:16:54,209
(laughter continues)
464
00:16:54,211 --> 00:16:56,645
So, were you guys doing anything
465
00:16:56,647 --> 00:16:58,747
after lunch, or is this it?
466
00:16:58,749 --> 00:17:00,382
Well, we still have to stretch.
467
00:17:00,384 --> 00:17:03,018
- Mm-hmm.
- And we're gonna compare our charities.
468
00:17:03,020 --> 00:17:06,188
We don't want to end up with
the same one. So embarrassing.
469
00:17:06,190 --> 00:17:07,790
(laughs quietly)
470
00:17:07,792 --> 00:17:10,426
Are you marrying new Carl?
471
00:17:10,428 --> 00:17:11,693
Well,
472
00:17:11,695 --> 00:17:13,462
I wanted to tell you in person.
473
00:17:13,464 --> 00:17:14,663
I... I was finally ready,
474
00:17:14,665 --> 00:17:16,465
and then you wrote me that sonnet.
475
00:17:16,467 --> 00:17:18,000
It's okay.
476
00:17:18,002 --> 00:17:20,636
You reminded me that I'm my own man.
477
00:17:20,638 --> 00:17:22,838
Since you left, I've been
trusting my instincts.
478
00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:24,973
The only time I didn't
trust myself is this week,
479
00:17:24,975 --> 00:17:27,476
because you made me feel like
I still needed you. I don't.
480
00:17:27,478 --> 00:17:28,977
Meredith is not your typical teacher,
481
00:17:28,979 --> 00:17:31,046
but she's a good person and she tries hard.
482
00:17:31,048 --> 00:17:32,848
You can't ask for much more than that.
483
00:17:32,850 --> 00:17:34,950
You can ask for more than that.
484
00:17:34,952 --> 00:17:36,985
Every one of her students failed.
485
00:17:36,987 --> 00:17:38,520
Even the Indians, the Asians.
486
00:17:38,522 --> 00:17:40,489
Those are the ones you count on.
487
00:17:40,491 --> 00:17:42,023
When I give my report...
488
00:17:42,025 --> 00:17:44,092
I don't care! I believe in her!
489
00:17:44,094 --> 00:17:47,429
Me, too. Carla, I'm breaking up with you.
490
00:17:47,431 --> 00:17:52,133
GINNY: Everybody! The
test results were wrong.
491
00:17:52,135 --> 00:17:55,337
After Kim told me Meredith's
class failed, I looked into it.
492
00:17:55,339 --> 00:17:57,806
I wanted to confirm my
suspicions before I said anything,
493
00:17:57,808 --> 00:18:01,209
and with the help of my online
test lovers group, I have.
494
00:18:01,211 --> 00:18:03,979
This... is the culprit.
495
00:18:03,981 --> 00:18:08,316
Am I the only one who doesn't
know why we're looking at a pencil?
496
00:18:08,318 --> 00:18:10,352
No, I don't get it. I'm still not sure.
497
00:18:10,354 --> 00:18:11,986
Okay, I didn't want to look dumb.
498
00:18:12,955 --> 00:18:14,689
Meredith? Meredith?
499
00:18:14,691 --> 00:18:16,291
Are you there? Meredith...
500
00:18:16,293 --> 00:18:17,625
POPPY: Oh, my God.
501
00:18:17,627 --> 00:18:19,527
The class war has started.
502
00:18:19,529 --> 00:18:20,962
Meredith, you don't belong here.
503
00:18:20,964 --> 00:18:22,397
You belong at Nixon.
504
00:18:22,399 --> 00:18:24,365
I was wrong. Carla was wrong.
505
00:18:24,367 --> 00:18:25,533
What about the tests?
506
00:18:25,535 --> 00:18:27,068
You used number three pencils.
507
00:18:27,070 --> 00:18:29,070
We've been tracking
some rogue number threes
508
00:18:29,072 --> 00:18:30,672
with my online testing group,
509
00:18:30,674 --> 00:18:32,607
and we knew they'd shown up at Kennedy,
510
00:18:32,609 --> 00:18:34,609
but we never thought
they'd end up at Nixon.
511
00:18:34,611 --> 00:18:38,046
- Carla rescored your tests by hand.
- Well, how did my kids do?
512
00:18:38,048 --> 00:18:41,015
- Totally average.
- So I'm, like, a totally average teacher?
513
00:18:41,017 --> 00:18:42,417
Totally average.
514
00:18:42,419 --> 00:18:44,318
I'm totally average!
515
00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:46,020
We know.
516
00:18:46,022 --> 00:18:47,722
I got to get back to work.
517
00:18:47,724 --> 00:18:49,924
MEREDITH: Hey, can you put, uh,
518
00:18:49,926 --> 00:18:52,093
five Crab Louie salads on Ray's tab
519
00:18:52,095 --> 00:18:54,228
and wrap them up to go?
You have to try them.
520
00:18:54,230 --> 00:18:56,864
And you may never be
at a country club again.
521
00:18:58,493 --> 00:19:00,127
- I'm proud of you, Meredith.
- Well, I'm proud of my kids.
522
00:19:00,129 --> 00:19:02,496
And I'm proud of you
for standing up to Carla.
523
00:19:02,498 --> 00:19:04,131
It was beautiful.
524
00:19:04,133 --> 00:19:06,767
Are you okay with her getting remarried?
525
00:19:06,769 --> 00:19:09,903
- I think so. I'm just glad everybody's moving on.
- Mm.
526
00:19:09,905 --> 00:19:12,539
And here's your Dark 'N' Stormy.
527
00:19:12,541 --> 00:19:14,741
Thank you.
528
00:19:17,045 --> 00:19:18,345
What?
529
00:19:19,547 --> 00:19:21,648
Uh, no! I can't.
530
00:19:21,650 --> 00:19:23,884
I haven't asked anyone
out since the divorce.
531
00:19:23,886 --> 00:19:26,186
It's time for you to move on...
532
00:19:26,188 --> 00:19:28,655
top of someone else.
533
00:19:28,657 --> 00:19:31,358
Okay.
534
00:19:34,595 --> 00:19:38,665
I don't want this Dark 'N'
Stormy... (clears throat)
535
00:19:38,667 --> 00:19:41,134
I would like a Dark and Even-keeled.
536
00:19:41,136 --> 00:19:43,103
So you want a splash of grapefruit?
537
00:19:43,105 --> 00:19:45,605
No. I'm... I'm flirting.
I'm just really bad at it.
538
00:19:45,607 --> 00:19:47,307
Oh. (Laughs)
539
00:19:49,210 --> 00:19:51,878
Hey, great job with the
number three pencils.
540
00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:54,114
Ginny's a regular Nancy Drew.
541
00:19:54,116 --> 00:19:56,049
Nancy Drew is lesbian propaganda.
542
00:19:56,051 --> 00:19:59,285
I am just a good,
old-fashioned problem solver.
543
00:19:59,287 --> 00:20:01,154
(sighs)
544
00:20:01,156 --> 00:20:03,590
Hey. I'm glad you're here.
545
00:20:03,592 --> 00:20:06,292
Now, you want to get out of here?
546
00:20:06,294 --> 00:20:07,827
(laughs softly)
547
00:20:07,829 --> 00:20:10,230
I can't. I'm sorry.
548
00:20:10,232 --> 00:20:12,432
Is this about the cinder
block-sleeping bag combo?
549
00:20:12,434 --> 00:20:14,300
'Cause I ordered a couch.
550
00:20:14,302 --> 00:20:16,236
Well, a futon.
551
00:20:16,238 --> 00:20:19,772
Well, I painted the cinder blocks brown.
552
00:20:19,774 --> 00:20:22,141
Joel, I chose to come back to Nixon,
553
00:20:22,143 --> 00:20:24,010
but I'm staying with Ray.
554
00:20:24,012 --> 00:20:25,378
What?
555
00:20:25,380 --> 00:20:27,146
You got to be kidding me.
556
00:20:27,148 --> 00:20:29,782
I never meant to hurt you.
557
00:20:29,784 --> 00:20:31,484
And yet you did anyway.
558
00:20:31,486 --> 00:20:33,519
That's how good you are at it.
559
00:20:33,521 --> 00:20:34,854
Oh, Joel...
560
00:20:35,656 --> 00:20:38,057
Joel, wait.
561
00:20:38,059 --> 00:20:39,559
Ray?
562
00:20:39,561 --> 00:20:41,427
Ray? Ray? Ray.
563
00:20:41,429 --> 00:20:42,562
Bunny...
564
00:20:42,564 --> 00:20:44,197
Just wanted to meet your work friends.
565
00:20:44,199 --> 00:20:46,566
Is that...? Huh, huh, huh?
566
00:20:46,568 --> 00:20:47,900
Hi. Uh...
567
00:20:47,902 --> 00:20:49,769
next round is on me.
568
00:20:49,771 --> 00:20:52,238
- I'm Ray. I'm Ginny.
- IRENE: Where's Joel?
569
00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:54,073
- GINNY: I don't know.
- CARL: He's gone.
570
00:20:54,075 --> 00:20:56,475
- May I?
- Yes, of course.
571
00:20:58,650 --> 00:21:02,933
- synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
572
00:21:02,983 --> 00:21:07,533
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