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00:00:04,533 --> 00:00:06,040
Health Week... gross.
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Excuse me.
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00:00:08,143 --> 00:00:10,199
(groans) No donuts? Like,
what am I supposed to eat?
4
00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:11,141
Try a vegan muffin.
5
00:00:11,142 --> 00:00:13,363
They smell like leather,
but they taste like soap.
6
00:00:13,364 --> 00:00:15,182
It's like we're at a lesbian wedding.
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There's no way you can
eat junk food all the time
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and look the way you do.
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You can if you know the right doctors...
10
00:00:19,231 --> 00:00:21,368
Carl spends so much
money on Health Week, but,
11
00:00:21,369 --> 00:00:23,860
when I want money to start
a postseason baseball camp,
12
00:00:23,861 --> 00:00:24,861
he cries poor.
13
00:00:24,862 --> 00:00:25,862
Literally cries about how poor we are.
14
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He cries a lot.
15
00:00:27,619 --> 00:00:28,902
What happens during Health Week?
16
00:00:28,904 --> 00:00:30,237
Oh, never mind. I just got so bored
17
00:00:30,239 --> 00:00:31,738
by the end of that sentence.
18
00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:35,292
How good is this breakfast?
I cannot wait to meet
19
00:00:35,294 --> 00:00:36,410
the guy behind these... Chef Asher?
20
00:00:36,412 --> 00:00:37,828
Oh, my God, I love him.
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He's here, he's working with the school
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00:00:39,415 --> 00:00:41,131
to revamp the cafeteria
menu to make it healthier.
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Oh, no, they better not be getting rid
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00:00:42,584 --> 00:00:44,301
of hamburger ice cream nachos!
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- They wouldn't do that, would they?
- I don't know.
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00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:47,254
(taps mic, feedback
whines) CARL: Welcome...
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00:00:47,256 --> 00:00:48,972
to Nixon's "Nix the Fat"� Week.
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00:00:48,974 --> 00:00:51,091
Uh, first off, I'd just like to say
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00:00:51,093 --> 00:00:53,143
that the faculty 50-yard-dash
has been canceled.
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00:00:53,145 --> 00:00:56,179
- Why?!
- For secret principal reasons, Pilaf!
31
00:00:56,181 --> 00:00:58,265
And now I would like to introduce
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the host of Health Week, a local
33
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five-star restaurant owner
34
00:01:02,688 --> 00:01:04,938
and vegan chef, Brad Asher.
35
00:01:04,940 --> 00:01:06,940
(applause)
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00:01:06,942 --> 00:01:08,575
MEREDITH: This guy owns
a five-star restaurant?
37
00:01:08,577 --> 00:01:10,811
Hello, Nixon Middle.
38
00:01:10,813 --> 00:01:11,945
Oh, he owns three restaurants.
39
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Four if you count his food truck.
40
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Also forgot to mention he's credited
41
00:01:14,666 --> 00:01:15,916
with bringing the parsnip
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to the forefront of the vegan movement.
43
00:01:17,252 --> 00:01:18,869
Less relevant. Come on.
44
00:01:18,871 --> 00:01:21,788
... and I even broke gluten-free bread
45
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with the President of the United States.
46
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(gasps) Oh...
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I'm also vegan.
48
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People hear the word "vegan,"
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they get scared, but don't worry
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we don't bite.
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I do.
52
00:01:30,466 --> 00:01:31,431
(scattered laughter)
53
00:01:31,433 --> 00:01:33,800
Uh, who here likes bacon?
54
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Me!
55
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Well, I'd like you to meet bacon.
56
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This is Mr. Pigglesworth.
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He's the reason I became
vegan, and he's my best friend.
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But be careful... he's not a vegan.
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And he has developed a
taste for human flesh.
60
00:01:45,781 --> 00:01:47,614
- What?
- What?
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00:01:47,616 --> 00:01:48,949
Irene, you're gonna
get to see me in action.
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I'll teach you everything you need
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to know about catching a big fish.
64
00:01:51,787 --> 00:01:55,655
Oh, wait, I think I remember this.
65
00:01:55,657 --> 00:01:56,823
Yeah, very good. Now tell me
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00:01:56,825 --> 00:01:57,824
everything you know about him.
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00:01:57,826 --> 00:01:58,992
And focus in on the key words:
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mansion, ocean-front, villa,
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00:02:00,496 --> 00:02:02,662
Europe, family money... go.
70
00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:04,331
I can tell you what kind
of salt he likes to use.
71
00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:06,166
Yeah, that's not what I'm asking.
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00:02:06,168 --> 00:02:08,502
Nah, nah-nah, nah, nah, nah, nah
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Nah-nah, nah-nah
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I am a fascination
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I'm here to blow your mind
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I'll give 'em education
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Give me the wine and dine
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Hey!
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Nah, nah, nah, nah-nah
80
00:02:21,650 --> 00:02:24,651
Nah-nah, nah, nah-nah!
81
00:02:25,951 --> 00:02:28,869
You have been on there a
while, Kim, and your heart rate
82
00:02:28,871 --> 00:02:30,454
hasn't gone up, you must be in great shape!
83
00:02:30,456 --> 00:02:32,622
No, it's because my heart's enlarged,
84
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and it doesn't function properly.
85
00:02:34,259 --> 00:02:37,427
MAN: Hi, I'm Navid.
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Chef Asher's sous chef.
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00:02:39,131 --> 00:02:41,715
Sous chef? So, you're his Kim?
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What's a Kim?
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00:02:42,851 --> 00:02:44,267
- I'm a Kim.
- Right.
90
00:02:44,269 --> 00:02:45,519
And you are?
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00:02:45,521 --> 00:02:46,686
Ms. Taylor-Clapp.
92
00:02:46,688 --> 00:02:47,971
And I hope you washed your hands
93
00:02:47,973 --> 00:02:49,940
after you handled that adorable livestock.
94
00:02:49,942 --> 00:02:52,142
Well, I just came over here to say hi.
95
00:02:52,144 --> 00:02:54,478
And that is your diastolic blood pressure.
96
00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:56,646
Guess I did that. See you later.
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00:02:56,648 --> 00:02:58,064
Whoa, he is so cute.
98
00:02:58,066 --> 00:02:59,483
You think everybody's cute.
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00:02:59,485 --> 00:03:00,817
Big heart.
100
00:03:00,819 --> 00:03:02,319
I like your number.
101
00:03:03,738 --> 00:03:07,324
Chef... (sultry laugh)
Hi, I'm Meredith Davis.
102
00:03:07,326 --> 00:03:10,827
- The biter.
- I'm much more than that. I'm just so happy
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00:03:10,829 --> 00:03:11,878
you're here.
104
00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:13,463
Fat kids are my passion, too.
105
00:03:13,465 --> 00:03:15,799
- It's an epidemic.
- It keeps me up at night.
106
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- Pretty and smart?
- I mean, that's what they say about me.
107
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You know, but, I... I'm just a real person.
108
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Um, this is Irene.
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Oh, true. I am me. (Chuckles)
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00:03:25,928 --> 00:03:27,644
Oh, and you're gonna do a
demonstration in my class.
111
00:03:27,646 --> 00:03:29,179
Oh you're the science teacher?
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Aren't you a regular at my restaurant?
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Guilty as ion charged. (Laughs)
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Well, the demonstration's gonna be fun.
115
00:03:34,486 --> 00:03:37,153
I love playing around
with molecular gastronomy.
116
00:03:37,155 --> 00:03:40,056
- I love playing around.
- You should bring your class, too.
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I know Principal Carl wants to
involve as many kids as possible.
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Come by. I mean, unless
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you're teaching an important...
120
00:03:45,364 --> 00:03:47,531
- Nope. It's a date.
- Well, it's not, but...
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00:03:47,533 --> 00:03:49,249
maybe we can go on one of those, too.
122
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Tomorrow night would be
perfect; I'm only looking...
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No brakes!
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00:03:52,921 --> 00:03:56,957
- No brakes! (Crash)
- Ooh.
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00:03:56,959 --> 00:03:59,342
Oh. That sucks. (Sultry laugh)
126
00:03:59,344 --> 00:04:01,545
I'll give you five bucks
for that toaster pastry.
127
00:04:01,547 --> 00:04:03,046
Oh, sorry, Lily. It's Health Week.
128
00:04:03,048 --> 00:04:05,515
Oh, come on, Coach Kotsky, I'm dying here.
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00:04:05,517 --> 00:04:08,134
They replaced all the snacks in
the vending machines with fruit.
130
00:04:08,136 --> 00:04:09,636
- Fruit!
- Okay, you know what, I won't
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sell it to you, but I will take the money
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as a donation for baseball camp.
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00:04:13,191 --> 00:04:15,559
Come on, banana! Fall!
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00:04:15,561 --> 00:04:16,726
Now, damn it!
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I will smash through this glass
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if I'm forced to eat a pear.
137
00:04:23,117 --> 00:04:24,651
Carl, I need to talk to you.
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00:04:24,653 --> 00:04:26,570
If this is about Mr. Pilaf renting out
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your classroom at night on Airbnb,
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I had no idea.
141
00:04:30,158 --> 00:04:32,208
And I agree; those Belgians were rude.
142
00:04:32,210 --> 00:04:34,277
No. I was wondering why you cancelled
143
00:04:34,279 --> 00:04:35,745
the faculty 50-yard dash.
144
00:04:35,747 --> 00:04:38,582
Well, uh, the field is uneven,
145
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the weather's unpredictable,
146
00:04:39,918 --> 00:04:41,585
and I heard Kim's been blood doping.
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Okay.
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00:04:42,921 --> 00:04:44,721
The truth is...
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00:04:44,723 --> 00:04:47,674
since the divorce, I
have been a little down.
150
00:04:47,676 --> 00:04:50,427
Hitting the sauce kind
of hard. The cheese sauce.
151
00:04:50,429 --> 00:04:52,929
And I may have put on a few extra LBs.
152
00:04:52,931 --> 00:04:55,181
- Oh, I had no idea. You wear it well.
- I got a little help
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under the suit. Male undergarments.
154
00:04:58,186 --> 00:04:59,936
Which have become socially acceptable.
155
00:04:59,938 --> 00:05:03,523
But the point is this: I am
out of shape, I can't run.
156
00:05:03,525 --> 00:05:04,774
Carl, I can coach you.
157
00:05:04,776 --> 00:05:06,076
You can?
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00:05:06,078 --> 00:05:07,577
Yes. I'm an excellent runner,
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00:05:07,579 --> 00:05:09,079
- obviously.
- Well, I just want to finish
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00:05:09,081 --> 00:05:10,780
middle of the pack.
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00:05:10,782 --> 00:05:12,616
I mean, if I come in last,
then people are gonna laugh.
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00:05:12,618 --> 00:05:17,170
And can you imagine? Then I'll
become a figure of ridicule.
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I can't even imagine.
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00:05:21,460 --> 00:05:23,793
You know, I'm a big fan of your blog.
165
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It's getting popular.
166
00:05:25,180 --> 00:05:27,464
Oh, very. There's actually a guy in Germany
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00:05:27,466 --> 00:05:29,633
who live blogs your blog while he reads it.
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I know, because my mom
printed up his last blog,
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put it in an envelope and sent
it to me with a note that said,
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"I saw this on the computer".
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(chuckles)
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Your mom's so dumb.
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(laughs)
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00:05:42,030 --> 00:05:44,531
Hey, those are those shoesy
make from old tires, right?
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00:05:44,533 --> 00:05:47,067
Oh, yeah, yeah, I... I actually
got a nail in one of 'em,
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00:05:47,069 --> 00:05:49,285
but I just... I can't bring
myself to throw them out.
177
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- Just slave to fashion that way.
- Cool.
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Hi, I'm here.
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Oh, hey. Here you go.
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00:05:55,293 --> 00:05:58,128
Thank you. I love aprons.
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Maybe... I should wear just
this on our date tonight.
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It'll be like Top Chef.
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00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:03,900
Unless you want to be Top Chef,
184
00:06:03,902 --> 00:06:05,335
and I could be Bottom Chef.
185
00:06:05,337 --> 00:06:07,487
I'm no stranger to culinary euphemisms.
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00:06:07,489 --> 00:06:09,422
Is it getting hot in here?
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'Cause maybe I should
just slip into my bikini.
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(gasps)
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00:06:13,729 --> 00:06:15,712
Make that a whipped cream bikini.
190
00:06:15,714 --> 00:06:18,181
Actually, that's celery foam.
191
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We should have a foam party.
192
00:06:20,102 --> 00:06:22,902
Oh, my God, I went to
one, once, in Montreal.
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It was so fun, but lesson learned:
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leave the leather in the
penthouse, because, apparently,
195
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those little lambies
do not like to get wet.
196
00:06:34,665 --> 00:06:36,032
Yeah.
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00:06:36,034 --> 00:06:37,250
I like to start my morning
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with a breakfast burrito.
199
00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:40,837
Covers all the food groups:
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00:06:40,839 --> 00:06:44,040
Protein, vegetable, grain and comfort.
201
00:06:45,626 --> 00:06:48,261
Okay, my fitness regime is pretty simple.
202
00:06:48,263 --> 00:06:50,130
In the few minutes of free time I have
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00:06:50,132 --> 00:06:52,048
before morning announcements,
I like to jog it out.
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00:06:52,050 --> 00:06:54,267
and do some wind sprints.
205
00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:59,022
And then I have my morning coffee.
206
00:06:59,024 --> 00:07:01,891
Good. Studies show that
caffeine boosts metabolism.
207
00:07:01,893 --> 00:07:05,111
Carl. That's just a milkshake.
208
00:07:05,113 --> 00:07:06,613
It's a coffee.
209
00:07:06,615 --> 00:07:08,064
Float. It's technically a float.
210
00:07:10,484 --> 00:07:11,868
(speaks indistinctly)
211
00:07:13,204 --> 00:07:14,571
Breakfast needs work.
212
00:07:14,573 --> 00:07:16,406
Exercise needs work.
213
00:07:16,408 --> 00:07:20,577
Oh, I know. Everything needs work.
214
00:07:20,579 --> 00:07:21,745
I am an emotional eater.
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00:07:21,747 --> 00:07:23,713
What does that even mean?
216
00:07:23,715 --> 00:07:25,749
I eat my feelings, Ginny. And, believe me,
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00:07:25,751 --> 00:07:28,001
I have a lot of feelings post-divorce.
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00:07:28,003 --> 00:07:30,136
Two pizzas in one sitting feelings...
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00:07:30,138 --> 00:07:32,222
pan pizzas... but this is drinking
220
00:07:32,224 --> 00:07:34,174
my feelings, so it's different.
221
00:07:34,176 --> 00:07:37,393
(scoffs) You can do this.
222
00:07:40,014 --> 00:07:41,815
To make broc bites
223
00:07:41,817 --> 00:07:44,400
we take liquefied broccoli
224
00:07:44,402 --> 00:07:46,736
and we dip it into sodium alginate powder.
225
00:07:46,738 --> 00:07:48,688
Oh, you know, if you take those broc bites
226
00:07:48,690 --> 00:07:49,989
and you serve them with another
227
00:07:49,991 --> 00:07:51,391
bathed in liquid nitrogen,
228
00:07:51,393 --> 00:07:52,842
then you actually represent all three
229
00:07:52,844 --> 00:07:54,210
- states of matter.
- But that would
230
00:07:54,212 --> 00:07:56,312
only be liquid and solid broccoli.
231
00:07:56,314 --> 00:07:57,914
Oh, the broccoli gas comes later.
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00:07:57,916 --> 00:07:59,249
(laughter)
233
00:07:59,251 --> 00:08:00,917
- Okay, guys, who wants to be first?
- Pick me!
234
00:08:00,919 --> 00:08:03,453
(kids chatter)
235
00:08:03,455 --> 00:08:06,122
Broccoli. Spoon.
236
00:08:06,124 --> 00:08:09,042
Oh, God. You're so good with the kids.
237
00:08:09,044 --> 00:08:11,461
I mean, I guess we have
that gift in common.
238
00:08:11,463 --> 00:08:13,513
I've actually been teaching
them about small businesses.
239
00:08:13,515 --> 00:08:15,682
Maybe you could come speak to my class?
240
00:08:15,684 --> 00:08:17,467
I mean, they would just love that.
241
00:08:17,469 --> 00:08:20,603
Their favorite thing is
single, handsome chefs
242
00:08:20,605 --> 00:08:23,223
who really, uh, bring home the vegan bacon.
243
00:08:23,225 --> 00:08:25,775
(laughs) Bet you do pretty well
244
00:08:25,777 --> 00:08:27,243
for yourself, huh, big guy?
245
00:08:27,245 --> 00:08:28,945
Like, how much we talking?
246
00:08:28,947 --> 00:08:30,814
I actually don't care
that much about being paid.
247
00:08:30,816 --> 00:08:33,700
As long as I'm able to
do my thing, I'm happy.
248
00:08:33,702 --> 00:08:35,285
Yeah. I'd be happy to...
249
00:08:35,287 --> 00:08:37,070
do your thing, too. (Giggles)
250
00:08:37,072 --> 00:08:39,789
Meredith, at the start I thought
we were on the same page, but
251
00:08:39,791 --> 00:08:42,742
now I'm not sure we
have that much in common.
252
00:08:42,744 --> 00:08:45,745
- Maybe we shouldn't go out?
- We have the fat kid thing in common.
253
00:08:45,747 --> 00:08:47,997
- Just doesn't feel right.
- Yeah, I'm sorry,
254
00:08:47,999 --> 00:08:50,500
- I'm just, like, not following.
- Well, I'm trying
255
00:08:50,502 --> 00:08:51,918
to not let myself get distracted
256
00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:54,270
by shiny things in tight dresses.
257
00:08:54,272 --> 00:08:57,173
One of them owns half
my first restaurant, now.
258
00:08:57,175 --> 00:08:59,008
And I... I just want to date girls
259
00:08:59,010 --> 00:09:00,510
that I have a real connection with.
260
00:09:00,512 --> 00:09:02,478
But you're clearly attracted to me.
261
00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:04,898
Oh, I like your outside.
262
00:09:04,900 --> 00:09:07,016
- A lot.
- Yeah. (Laughs)
263
00:09:07,018 --> 00:09:10,403
I just... I care more about
what's on the inside, now.
264
00:09:12,106 --> 00:09:14,107
(whispers): You might want
to sit a different way.
265
00:09:14,109 --> 00:09:15,859
I can fully see your net.
266
00:09:18,907 --> 00:09:20,741
- What are you doing?
- Raising money
267
00:09:20,743 --> 00:09:22,943
for baseball camp, what
does it look like I'm doing?
268
00:09:22,945 --> 00:09:25,997
I used to "raise money"
for baseball camp in college.
269
00:09:25,999 --> 00:09:27,782
Hey, don't cut into my profits.
270
00:09:27,784 --> 00:09:29,066
Stop it! I need this.
271
00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:31,702
Chef Asher cancelled our date for tonight.
272
00:09:31,704 --> 00:09:34,138
He said he didn't think
we had a real connection.
273
00:09:34,140 --> 00:09:36,207
- You didn't.
- Yeah, so? That's never stopped me
274
00:09:36,209 --> 00:09:38,626
from dating anyone
before. He said that he...
275
00:09:38,628 --> 00:09:40,961
cares more about what's inside
276
00:09:40,963 --> 00:09:43,514
and about being a good person. So lame.
277
00:09:43,516 --> 00:09:46,183
It's one guy that you're
not that into. Who cares?
278
00:09:46,185 --> 00:09:47,885
He has more in common with Irene anyway.
279
00:09:47,887 --> 00:09:50,438
I saw them comparing Amnesty
International cards...
280
00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:53,024
Yeah, to see whose was more
worn out. For a good ten minutes.
281
00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:55,393
Joel, this is serious... like,
"No Return Policy" serious.
282
00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:57,028
No one has ever broken off a date
283
00:09:57,030 --> 00:09:58,813
with me, for obvious
reasons. And it's like,
284
00:09:58,815 --> 00:10:00,614
if I can't get some average-looking chef
285
00:10:00,616 --> 00:10:03,317
with under ten restaurants, to like me,
286
00:10:03,319 --> 00:10:05,653
then what does my future hold?
287
00:10:05,655 --> 00:10:08,322
- A gym coach?
- Yes, exactly.
288
00:10:08,324 --> 00:10:11,826
- There you are. How much can I buy for 20?
- Whoa, Bronwen,
289
00:10:11,828 --> 00:10:13,327
you sure you want to spend all that on...
290
00:10:13,329 --> 00:10:15,880
You know what I'm not
here to buy? A lecture.
291
00:10:20,168 --> 00:10:22,002
All right, I'll take a dozen Tootsie Rolls,
292
00:10:22,004 --> 00:10:23,971
a handful of Skittles,
293
00:10:23,973 --> 00:10:25,172
heavy on the greens.
294
00:10:25,174 --> 00:10:26,674
And... a bag of nacho chips.
295
00:10:26,676 --> 00:10:28,342
Yeah, make it two.
296
00:10:28,344 --> 00:10:29,927
- One for my girl.
- Sure.
297
00:10:29,929 --> 00:10:32,263
Okay, that'll be 12 bucks.
298
00:10:32,265 --> 00:10:35,015
- Okay, here you go.
- Thank you.
299
00:10:35,017 --> 00:10:36,851
You know, you're really
making a killing here, Kotsky,
300
00:10:36,853 --> 00:10:38,519
selling junk to these kids.
301
00:10:38,521 --> 00:10:40,354
Whoa, whoa, whoa! This
money is for baseball camp
302
00:10:40,356 --> 00:10:41,822
where kids run around and move.
303
00:10:41,824 --> 00:10:43,240
Occasionally. To and from the dugout.
304
00:10:43,242 --> 00:10:45,076
The point is, I'm making kids healthy.
305
00:10:45,078 --> 00:10:49,046
If that's what you need to
tell yourself to sleep at night.
306
00:10:50,749 --> 00:10:52,333
(sighs)
307
00:10:52,335 --> 00:10:54,368
Hey, Coach, I'm next, right?
308
00:10:54,370 --> 00:10:56,787
Hey! No cut-sies, huh?
309
00:10:56,789 --> 00:10:58,556
Oh, crap!
310
00:10:59,825 --> 00:11:02,293
I am sweating like a bag of breakfast.
311
00:11:02,295 --> 00:11:04,545
Come on, I'm gonna get you to the middle
312
00:11:04,547 --> 00:11:06,130
of that 50-yard dash pack.
313
00:11:06,132 --> 00:11:08,299
This fitness stuff is
harder than I thought.
314
00:11:08,301 --> 00:11:10,468
I tried to run on the treadmill last night.
315
00:11:10,470 --> 00:11:11,635
but... but... but... Ron made pot-pies.
316
00:11:11,637 --> 00:11:13,387
I mean, what am I supposed to do?
317
00:11:13,389 --> 00:11:16,440
You take a long sniff of it
and you let that be enough.
318
00:11:16,442 --> 00:11:19,777
Oh, I guess I could do that,
but I think I'm gonna quit.
319
00:11:19,779 --> 00:11:21,061
I don't understand what you just said,
320
00:11:21,063 --> 00:11:22,480
'cause I don't know what that last word is
321
00:11:22,482 --> 00:11:24,398
Quit. It means to cease, to stop doing.
322
00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:26,066
It's a common word that...
323
00:11:26,068 --> 00:11:28,903
I know what the word means,
but quitters never prosper.
324
00:11:28,905 --> 00:11:30,037
No. Cheaters never prosper.
325
00:11:30,039 --> 00:11:31,705
Oh, I could cheat!
326
00:11:31,707 --> 00:11:33,791
No cheating, no quitting!
327
00:11:33,793 --> 00:11:36,243
Listen, Ginny, I really
appreciate you helping me out,
328
00:11:36,245 --> 00:11:38,879
but maybe I just need to
accept my fate and balloon up.
329
00:11:38,881 --> 00:11:41,382
It would be fun for a while,
and I'd get disability.
330
00:11:41,384 --> 00:11:43,467
I know this fitness stuff is hard.
331
00:11:43,469 --> 00:11:46,554
I ate a pot-pie once, In 1987.
332
00:11:46,556 --> 00:11:48,839
But you have to get
your life under control.
333
00:11:48,841 --> 00:11:50,391
I want you to feel as good
334
00:11:50,393 --> 00:11:53,177
as I feel, and that way to do that
335
00:11:53,179 --> 00:11:56,480
is to stay on course. So let's go!
336
00:12:04,940 --> 00:12:07,107
- Want a hand with that?
- Oh, no, thank you.
337
00:12:07,109 --> 00:12:08,909
But I think you should take another look
338
00:12:08,911 --> 00:12:10,661
at your "always" table.
339
00:12:10,663 --> 00:12:12,780
In my opinion, you have a lot
of questionable fruits here.
340
00:12:12,782 --> 00:12:14,782
And plantains? Nice try.
341
00:12:14,784 --> 00:12:17,501
How long have you had
something against plantains?
342
00:12:17,503 --> 00:12:19,453
(gasps)
343
00:12:19,455 --> 00:12:21,038
No going off course!
344
00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:23,424
Son of a biscuit! What gives?!
345
00:12:23,426 --> 00:12:25,125
You are embarrassing me
in front of the faculty.
346
00:12:25,127 --> 00:12:26,627
It's just one cookie.
347
00:12:26,629 --> 00:12:28,929
One cookie leads to two
cookies, which leads to
348
00:12:28,931 --> 00:12:30,631
three boxes in bed alone.
349
00:12:30,633 --> 00:12:32,383
It's not alone if you have the TV on.
350
00:12:32,385 --> 00:12:34,468
Ginny, you don't get
how hard this is for me.
351
00:12:34,470 --> 00:12:35,769
I am naturally curvy.
352
00:12:35,771 --> 00:12:37,805
I do get it.
353
00:12:37,807 --> 00:12:41,475
Before I got control of
my life, I was a fat kid,
354
00:12:41,477 --> 00:12:43,444
and people were horrible.
355
00:12:43,446 --> 00:12:49,650
They all claimed that I ate Amy Balducci
356
00:12:49,652 --> 00:12:51,652
And so then, every time I would burp,
357
00:12:51,654 --> 00:12:54,321
they would say it was
her crying out for help.
358
00:12:54,323 --> 00:12:57,041
Ow! My curves!
359
00:12:59,995 --> 00:13:01,795
So, how was your date with Meredith?
360
00:13:01,797 --> 00:13:03,297
Oh, we didn't go out.
361
00:13:03,299 --> 00:13:05,633
Oh... oh, you guys have
so much in common...
362
00:13:05,635 --> 00:13:07,835
hair, arms, legs.
363
00:13:07,837 --> 00:13:09,837
Yeah, I just don't think she's my type.
364
00:13:09,839 --> 00:13:13,257
I mean, she thought
"quinoa" was my limo driver.
365
00:13:13,259 --> 00:13:16,677
- Oh, man.
- It's really cool that you're composting.
366
00:13:16,679 --> 00:13:19,313
Oh, yeah. At one time, I
actually even named my worms,
367
00:13:19,315 --> 00:13:21,181
but they're just so hard to tell apart.
368
00:13:21,183 --> 00:13:22,983
And then the little
nametags kept falling off.
369
00:13:22,985 --> 00:13:23,984
(laughs)
370
00:13:23,986 --> 00:13:25,069
What are we doing, guys?
371
00:13:25,071 --> 00:13:26,854
Eating green beans? Fun!
372
00:13:26,856 --> 00:13:28,522
Oh, we're just doing
a little trash talking.
373
00:13:28,524 --> 00:13:30,908
Ooh. Composting. You know,
it's my favorite, so...
374
00:13:30,910 --> 00:13:35,029
I'm setting up a compost
station tomorrow here, so...
375
00:13:35,031 --> 00:13:36,947
I want to help.
376
00:13:36,949 --> 00:13:39,667
Oh, God, I love composting.
377
00:13:39,669 --> 00:13:41,168
Really?
378
00:13:41,170 --> 00:13:42,670
Of course. Oh.
379
00:13:42,672 --> 00:13:45,539
Okay, I feel like we got
off on the wrong foot.
380
00:13:45,541 --> 00:13:50,127
I just was so nervous around
you, because I'm such a big fan.
381
00:13:50,129 --> 00:13:52,012
You're a big fan?
382
00:13:52,014 --> 00:13:54,715
Guilty as ion charged.
383
00:13:54,717 --> 00:13:55,916
I'm a vegan, too.
384
00:13:55,918 --> 00:13:56,884
You didn't mention that before.
385
00:13:56,886 --> 00:13:58,352
Well, I am.
386
00:13:58,354 --> 00:14:00,271
I have been since I was a kid.
387
00:14:00,273 --> 00:14:02,222
My parents took me to
the zoo when I was little,
388
00:14:02,224 --> 00:14:03,941
and I saw these really
389
00:14:03,943 --> 00:14:07,194
adorable animals doing tricks
just for my entertainment.
390
00:14:07,196 --> 00:14:08,729
And I just thought to myself, like,
391
00:14:08,731 --> 00:14:12,116
how can I be eating these animals
392
00:14:12,118 --> 00:14:14,401
when they're so talented and hilarious?
393
00:14:14,403 --> 00:14:16,987
I'm sorry I just can't
take "no" for an answer.
394
00:14:16,989 --> 00:14:19,490
I mean, it's just not every day that
395
00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:22,743
I meet a handsome man who
has such a big heart and
396
00:14:22,745 --> 00:14:24,295
small carbon footprint.
397
00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:27,331
(laughs) Hopefully,
that's not an indication
398
00:14:27,333 --> 00:14:29,300
of, um, anything else.
399
00:14:29,302 --> 00:14:32,553
(laughs)
400
00:14:35,590 --> 00:14:37,207
(school bell ringing)
401
00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:38,976
Ooh.
402
00:14:38,978 --> 00:14:41,762
I'm glad I was wrong about you, Meredith.
403
00:14:41,764 --> 00:14:44,315
Well, you can't judge a
book by its perfect tush.
404
00:14:44,317 --> 00:14:47,101
Chef, we need you in the cafeteria.
405
00:14:47,103 --> 00:14:49,820
'Cause, clearly, I can't approve
a smoothie station on my own.
406
00:14:51,239 --> 00:14:53,273
I miss you.
407
00:14:53,275 --> 00:14:55,225
Oh, Joel?
408
00:14:55,227 --> 00:14:57,361
See?
409
00:14:57,363 --> 00:14:59,029
I did it.
410
00:14:59,031 --> 00:15:01,281
Meredith Davis is back, and
you didn't think I could.
411
00:15:01,283 --> 00:15:03,617
I thought you could. I
just hoped you wouldn't.
412
00:15:03,619 --> 00:15:05,419
Why? You're the one who told me
413
00:15:05,421 --> 00:15:07,421
to show him my insides, and I did,
414
00:15:07,423 --> 00:15:09,590
and he likes it, so... I win.
415
00:15:09,592 --> 00:15:11,458
Uh, no, Irene wins. You
didn't show him your insides.
416
00:15:11,460 --> 00:15:12,926
You showed him hers.
417
00:15:12,928 --> 00:15:15,095
She's the one he has
the real connection with.
418
00:15:15,097 --> 00:15:17,598
I mean, you're really so scared
about one guy not liking you
419
00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:19,600
that you're going to
take this away from her?
420
00:15:19,602 --> 00:15:22,219
Huh? She's your friend.
421
00:15:22,221 --> 00:15:24,688
And this is a new low, even for you.
422
00:15:24,690 --> 00:15:27,307
I've been much lower, thank you very much!
423
00:15:27,309 --> 00:15:29,560
ASHER: Meredith?
424
00:15:29,562 --> 00:15:31,478
Some of this stuff has
hardened into bricks.
425
00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:33,497
Make sure you grab the dung mallets.
426
00:15:34,616 --> 00:15:36,784
(clicks tongue)
427
00:15:43,781 --> 00:15:46,281
Hey, Ginny, want to try a smoothie?
428
00:15:46,283 --> 00:15:47,783
Chef Asher's got me
making them all day long,
429
00:15:47,785 --> 00:15:50,919
'cause four years of culinary
school totally qualifies me
430
00:15:50,921 --> 00:15:52,387
to throw rotten fruit in a
blender and press "on."
431
00:15:52,389 --> 00:15:54,006
Still, they're pretty good.
432
00:15:54,008 --> 00:15:55,374
Smoothies are just desserts
433
00:15:55,376 --> 00:15:58,677
dressed up in snacks' clothing.
434
00:15:58,679 --> 00:16:01,713
Hey, listen, would you
want to hang out later?
435
00:16:01,715 --> 00:16:06,218
Well, I need 10,000 steps,
and I am only at 783, so...
436
00:16:06,220 --> 00:16:08,303
Ginny, a word, please?
437
00:16:08,305 --> 00:16:12,307
Why are you giving the handsome,
bearded man a cold shoulder?
438
00:16:12,309 --> 00:16:13,642
What are you talking about?
439
00:16:13,644 --> 00:16:14,977
Well, he's obviously interested in you.
440
00:16:14,979 --> 00:16:16,778
Why aren't you chest deep
441
00:16:16,780 --> 00:16:18,814
in that beet root smoothie right now?
442
00:16:18,816 --> 00:16:20,732
I don't expect you to understand this,
443
00:16:20,734 --> 00:16:22,985
but I take my routines very seriously.
444
00:16:22,987 --> 00:16:25,621
I didn't get where I am
now by breaking the rules.
445
00:16:25,623 --> 00:16:27,372
Yeah, but living by the rules is fine,
446
00:16:27,374 --> 00:16:29,625
but if you never break the
rules, are you really living?
447
00:16:29,627 --> 00:16:33,495
My roommate Ron has a no-eating
in-the-living-room rule.
448
00:16:33,497 --> 00:16:35,581
- Mm-hmm.
- But after he goes to bed,
449
00:16:35,583 --> 00:16:39,334
I have been known to rip open
a bag of those cheese balls
450
00:16:39,336 --> 00:16:43,972
and go to town until my mustache
looks like a traffic cone.
451
00:16:43,974 --> 00:16:45,891
But I don't like going off course.
452
00:16:45,893 --> 00:16:47,342
I'm not good at that.
453
00:16:47,344 --> 00:16:49,878
But you're good at so many things.
454
00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:53,682
Filing...
455
00:16:53,684 --> 00:16:56,518
What makes you think you
won't be good at this, too?
456
00:16:56,520 --> 00:16:58,820
Trust me.
457
00:16:58,822 --> 00:17:00,923
He is kind of intriguing.
458
00:17:00,925 --> 00:17:03,525
Go get that smoothie.
459
00:17:13,453 --> 00:17:15,037
(groans)
460
00:17:15,039 --> 00:17:16,388
Hey, girl.
461
00:17:16,390 --> 00:17:17,706
Oh. Hey.
462
00:17:17,708 --> 00:17:20,042
Great news about you and the chef.
463
00:17:20,044 --> 00:17:22,044
Seems like you guys really hit it off.
464
00:17:22,046 --> 00:17:23,212
Maybe I can pig-sit sometime.
465
00:17:23,214 --> 00:17:25,180
He's not into me.
466
00:17:25,182 --> 00:17:27,216
- Oh, he isn't?
- Irene,
467
00:17:27,218 --> 00:17:30,085
you have some great insides, but chefs
468
00:17:30,087 --> 00:17:32,721
like outsides, too.
469
00:17:32,723 --> 00:17:34,473
I'm sorry, but I have got a plan.
470
00:17:34,475 --> 00:17:37,442
All right, up we go. Come on.
471
00:17:37,444 --> 00:17:38,577
Take off your clothes.
472
00:17:38,579 --> 00:17:40,946
Oh, okay... all right.
473
00:17:44,701 --> 00:17:47,069
Wow, Irene.
474
00:17:47,071 --> 00:17:48,704
You look great.
475
00:17:48,706 --> 00:17:50,072
Oh, thank you.
476
00:17:50,074 --> 00:17:51,740
I just put on a little makeup...
477
00:17:51,742 --> 00:17:53,408
that was only tested
on humans. Don't worry.
478
00:17:53,410 --> 00:17:54,743
MEREDITH: All right, listen,
479
00:17:54,745 --> 00:17:56,411
she likes you, you should like her,
480
00:17:56,413 --> 00:17:59,581
and I hate all of this.
481
00:17:59,583 --> 00:18:01,917
- What?!
- Oh, yeah, everything you thought about me
482
00:18:01,919 --> 00:18:04,303
from the beginning was true.
I'm shallow, I like bacon.
483
00:18:04,305 --> 00:18:06,588
- The person you're into is Irene.
- You're single?
484
00:18:06,590 --> 00:18:08,807
What about the stroller
you bring to my restaurant?
485
00:18:08,809 --> 00:18:10,142
It's for her ferret.
486
00:18:10,144 --> 00:18:12,060
There's probably room in there
487
00:18:12,062 --> 00:18:13,512
for Mr. Pigglesworth... that way, you guys
488
00:18:13,514 --> 00:18:14,930
never have to worry about anyone
489
00:18:14,932 --> 00:18:16,598
from the opposite sex ever being attracted
490
00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:18,350
to either one of you ever again.
491
00:18:20,153 --> 00:18:23,105
I'm sorry I didn't realize what
a connection we had right away.
492
00:18:23,107 --> 00:18:25,857
You and your ferret... s...
493
00:18:25,859 --> 00:18:28,110
are welcome at my restaurant any time.
494
00:18:28,112 --> 00:18:31,330
In fact, I'd love to
take you there tonight.
495
00:18:32,148 --> 00:18:33,398
BRONWEN: Hey.
496
00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:34,950
Guys. You open?
497
00:18:34,952 --> 00:18:37,786
As a matter of fact, I am.
498
00:18:37,788 --> 00:18:40,622
Granola bars? They got to you, too, huh?
499
00:18:40,624 --> 00:18:41,923
Hey, I held out as long as I could.
500
00:18:41,925 --> 00:18:43,292
Go ahead, guys. It's on me.
501
00:18:44,544 --> 00:18:46,962
Well, I was planning on
starting my diet on Monday,
502
00:18:46,964 --> 00:18:48,463
but I guess I'll start now.
503
00:18:48,465 --> 00:18:50,799
- My girl will sure be happy.
- Um...
504
00:18:50,801 --> 00:18:55,304
For the last time... I am not your girl.
505
00:18:55,306 --> 00:18:57,222
Chicks, right?
506
00:18:57,224 --> 00:19:00,225
Mmm! This is the best
meal I've had all week.
507
00:19:00,227 --> 00:19:02,444
Wait. How did you end up with that pig?
508
00:19:02,446 --> 00:19:05,814
Well, every hot girl needs a fat friend.
509
00:19:05,816 --> 00:19:08,400
Plus, I'm, uh, pig-sitting
510
00:19:08,402 --> 00:19:10,986
while Irene is on the date with her chef.
511
00:19:10,988 --> 00:19:15,157
I hope they're, uh, really
loving each other's insides.
512
00:19:15,159 --> 00:19:16,708
Man, why are you so offended
513
00:19:16,710 --> 00:19:18,410
by someone liking what's on the inside?
514
00:19:18,412 --> 00:19:20,662
Most people think that's
a good thing, you know?
515
00:19:20,664 --> 00:19:22,914
Well, I like to keep things surfacey.
516
00:19:22,916 --> 00:19:24,166
You know? It's just easier for everyone.
517
00:19:24,168 --> 00:19:27,836
- Why?
- Because not everybody has such nice insides, Joel.
518
00:19:27,838 --> 00:19:29,805
Some people have darker pasts and insides
519
00:19:29,807 --> 00:19:31,590
that nobody wants to hear about.
520
00:19:31,592 --> 00:19:33,675
No, but that's how you know
if someone's right for you.
521
00:19:33,677 --> 00:19:35,310
You know, if you share all that stuff,
522
00:19:35,312 --> 00:19:36,978
and then they... stick around.
523
00:19:36,980 --> 00:19:39,147
Nobody wants to know what's
below my surface, Joel.
524
00:19:39,149 --> 00:19:43,318
Nobody wants to hear about
my mom and her 20 boyfriends
525
00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:45,053
and three husbands while I was growing up,
526
00:19:45,055 --> 00:19:48,607
or that she told me to meet a rich guy
527
00:19:48,609 --> 00:19:50,859
before my face and my boobs went.
528
00:19:50,861 --> 00:19:52,361
See?
529
00:19:52,363 --> 00:19:55,280
Guys just want to see me bend over.
530
00:19:55,282 --> 00:19:58,200
Nobody wants to hear the other stuff.
531
00:19:58,202 --> 00:19:59,751
I do.
532
00:19:59,753 --> 00:20:02,204
You would?
533
00:20:02,206 --> 00:20:05,374
I mean, I also want to
see you bend over, so...
534
00:20:12,092 --> 00:20:14,660
(applause and cheering)
535
00:20:17,330 --> 00:20:20,566
(applause and cheering continue)
536
00:20:38,084 --> 00:20:40,702
(applause, cheering and whistling)
537
00:20:46,042 --> 00:20:47,025
It was so awesome.
538
00:20:47,027 --> 00:20:48,410
- Nice.
- I think I won.
539
00:20:48,412 --> 00:20:49,995
I don't know about that.
540
00:20:49,997 --> 00:20:51,914
Yay, Carl! You did it! We did it!
541
00:20:51,916 --> 00:20:54,299
Yeah, I guess this Health
Week was as important
542
00:20:54,301 --> 00:20:56,502
foe staff as it is for the kids.
543
00:20:56,504 --> 00:20:57,753
- Thank you.
- Aw...
544
00:20:57,755 --> 00:20:59,505
PILAF: I can't believe I lost.
545
00:20:59,507 --> 00:21:01,039
I'm never coming back! (Sobbing)
546
00:21:03,301 --> 00:21:05,230
He did the same thing last year.
547
00:21:05,752 --> 00:21:09,394
Synced By YesCool - corrected by chamallow
www.addic7ed.com
548
00:21:09,444 --> 00:21:13,994
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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