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1
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It is a sad day here at Nixon Middle.
2
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As some of you may or may not know,
3
00:00:05,246 --> 00:00:07,714
- we lost dear old Mrs. Felix.
- Aw.
4
00:00:07,749 --> 00:00:09,983
- We later found her, but she was dead.
- Uh... what?
5
00:00:10,017 --> 00:00:11,885
Dead set on leaving us for a better place.
6
00:00:11,919 --> 00:00:14,820
Better Place Charter School.
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Wait, I'm confused. Is she dead?
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00:00:16,623 --> 00:00:18,358
Yes. She's dead to me.
9
00:00:18,392 --> 00:00:19,725
Oh. She was in charge of the yearbook,
10
00:00:19,760 --> 00:00:21,560
and she didn't finish it before she left.
11
00:00:21,595 --> 00:00:23,529
- Very unprofessional.
- Well, remember
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00:00:23,563 --> 00:00:26,099
when she gave notice, you
did call her a dirty traitor.
13
00:00:26,133 --> 00:00:27,600
I later apologized.
14
00:00:27,634 --> 00:00:28,868
Told her to burn in the depths of hell
15
00:00:28,903 --> 00:00:30,169
and broke off her car antenna.
16
00:00:30,204 --> 00:00:33,171
Anyway, the final, final date
17
00:00:33,206 --> 00:00:35,374
to turn the yearbook into
the publisher's is tomorrow
18
00:00:35,409 --> 00:00:36,942
or we don't get one at all.
19
00:00:36,976 --> 00:00:39,211
Aw, looks like no yearbook. Tears.
20
00:00:39,245 --> 00:00:41,614
There will be a yearbook this year.
21
00:00:41,648 --> 00:00:43,783
We sold lots of ads to
businesses and, if we cancel it,
22
00:00:43,817 --> 00:00:45,584
we're gonna have to pay that money back.
23
00:00:45,619 --> 00:00:48,353
Which we cannot do, as that
money has already been spent.
24
00:00:48,388 --> 00:00:50,088
(chuckling): That doesn't seem wise.
25
00:00:50,123 --> 00:00:52,590
What, now you're a
financial wizard? What about
26
00:00:52,625 --> 00:00:55,027
your idea to invest in
that ostrich racetrack?
27
00:00:55,061 --> 00:00:56,861
That is a real sport.
28
00:00:56,896 --> 00:00:58,596
I sent you a link.
29
00:00:58,631 --> 00:00:59,597
Okay...
30
00:00:59,632 --> 00:01:01,233
I'm gonna need that link.
31
00:01:01,267 --> 00:01:03,535
Uh, we really need to
find someone to take over
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00:01:03,569 --> 00:01:05,870
- the yearbook.
- I'll do it! I was yearbook chair
33
00:01:05,905 --> 00:01:07,872
all four years of high school, and then...
34
00:01:07,907 --> 00:01:09,541
Of course you were a yearbook nerd.
35
00:01:09,575 --> 00:01:11,776
Thank you, Ginny. Uh,
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00:01:11,811 --> 00:01:14,045
- you got the job.
- Great.
37
00:01:14,079 --> 00:01:16,448
As yearbook chair, I will need a team.
38
00:01:16,482 --> 00:01:20,717
A task force, if you will. Anyone?
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00:01:20,752 --> 00:01:22,719
CARL: The volunteer will receive
40
00:01:22,754 --> 00:01:25,256
Mrs. Felix's $25 bonus.
41
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$25? You can't even buy a bag of wee...
42
00:01:28,493 --> 00:01:30,261
ee...
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00:01:30,295 --> 00:01:32,763
Oh, screw it. Weed. You
can't even buy a bag of weed.
44
00:01:32,797 --> 00:01:37,133
The volunteer will also
receive a free Botox treatment,
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00:01:37,168 --> 00:01:38,635
care of Glaser Dermatology.
46
00:01:38,670 --> 00:01:39,970
- In!
- Great, Meredith.
47
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Welcome aboard.
48
00:01:40,939 --> 00:01:42,906
Actually, I can do this alone.
49
00:01:42,941 --> 00:01:45,509
Ginny, two minds are better than one.
50
00:01:45,543 --> 00:01:46,944
Except for the Menendez brothers.
51
00:01:46,978 --> 00:01:49,412
Erik really needed Lyle
to formulate that plan.
52
00:01:49,447 --> 00:01:50,581
Kim, write this down.
53
00:01:50,615 --> 00:01:52,449
Got to go out to the truck.
54
00:02:01,125 --> 00:02:03,159
MEREDITH: Screw it.
55
00:02:05,662 --> 00:02:08,298
Somebody wing me a nougat
bar! I'll look the other way!
56
00:02:09,166 --> 00:02:09,966
This is stealing.
57
00:02:11,034 --> 00:02:12,434
Man, these people are animals.
58
00:02:12,469 --> 00:02:14,770
Yes, they are.
59
00:02:14,805 --> 00:02:17,206
(gasps)
60
00:02:19,342 --> 00:02:19,976
Heads up!
61
00:02:24,515 --> 00:02:25,548
(with mouth full): Um...
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00:02:25,582 --> 00:02:27,983
the... educational...
63
00:02:28,018 --> 00:02:31,320
system in urban settings is...
64
00:02:31,354 --> 00:02:32,654
Every time?
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00:02:35,492 --> 00:02:37,792
Nah, nah-nah, nah, nah, nah, nah
66
00:02:37,827 --> 00:02:39,128
Nah-nah, nah-nah
67
00:02:39,162 --> 00:02:42,331
I am a fascination
68
00:02:42,365 --> 00:02:44,065
I'm here to blow your mind
69
00:02:44,099 --> 00:02:45,834
I'll give 'em education
70
00:02:45,868 --> 00:02:47,702
Give me the wine and dine
71
00:02:47,737 --> 00:02:49,571
Hey!
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00:02:49,605 --> 00:02:51,006
Nah, nah, nah, nah-nah
73
00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:53,675
Nah-nah, nah, nah-nah!
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00:02:53,676 --> 00:02:54,676
- Synced By YesCool - corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
75
00:02:55,305 --> 00:02:58,914
You are late. We have tons of
pictures to categorize and scan
76
00:02:58,948 --> 00:03:01,849
for the yearbook. And I hope
that you are good with Photoshop
77
00:03:01,883 --> 00:03:05,019
because we have about ten
nip slips to fix, all by you.
78
00:03:05,054 --> 00:03:06,354
I actually thought I'd just
79
00:03:06,388 --> 00:03:08,756
start off by putting my tootsies up
80
00:03:08,790 --> 00:03:10,991
and getting inside a nice bottle of cava.
81
00:03:11,026 --> 00:03:12,993
But just holler if you need anything.
82
00:03:13,028 --> 00:03:14,228
Just like high school.
83
00:03:14,263 --> 00:03:16,496
What? All the popular kids would
84
00:03:16,531 --> 00:03:19,433
sign up for yearbook for
their college applications
85
00:03:19,467 --> 00:03:21,401
and then they would do absolutely nothing.
86
00:03:21,436 --> 00:03:24,605
- So selfish.
- I was not doing nothing, okay?
87
00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:26,440
I was hanging out with the popular boys
88
00:03:26,474 --> 00:03:28,909
and, trust me, they did
not think I was selfish.
89
00:03:28,944 --> 00:03:30,578
Ick. All right.
90
00:03:30,612 --> 00:03:33,913
You don't have to
participate, but I will tell,
91
00:03:33,948 --> 00:03:37,784
and that means no cut
of the $25 and no Botox.
92
00:03:39,620 --> 00:03:41,388
Fine. I'll help you.
93
00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:42,922
I just need to pee,
94
00:03:42,957 --> 00:03:44,791
grab a latte and have a smoke.
95
00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:49,462
Okay, Kim,
96
00:03:49,496 --> 00:03:51,230
I am not gonna beat around the bush
97
00:03:51,264 --> 00:03:53,399
is a phrase I never really
understood the meaning of,
98
00:03:53,433 --> 00:03:55,234
so I'm just gonna say this straight out.
99
00:03:55,268 --> 00:03:58,071
You failed your teachers' exam.
100
00:03:58,105 --> 00:03:59,906
What? There must be some mistake.
101
00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:01,574
I asked my Magic 8 Ball
102
00:04:01,609 --> 00:04:03,076
if I was gonna pass and it said
103
00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:04,577
to ask again later.
104
00:04:04,612 --> 00:04:07,779
All right, Kim, you may be the...
105
00:04:07,814 --> 00:04:10,782
best student teacher we've ever had here.
106
00:04:10,817 --> 00:04:14,953
And your bulletin board
design skills are unrivaled.
107
00:04:14,988 --> 00:04:17,990
So I am gonna help you pass that exam.
108
00:04:18,024 --> 00:04:20,626
- But you're so busy.
- I want to.
109
00:04:20,660 --> 00:04:22,761
There's a re-test tomorrow at 7:00 a.m.
110
00:04:22,795 --> 00:04:25,497
Now, if you are willing to dig in,
111
00:04:25,531 --> 00:04:27,132
I will cancel my Friday night plans
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00:04:27,166 --> 00:04:29,101
and stay here with you all night.
113
00:04:29,135 --> 00:04:30,736
Oh, I don't want you to cancel your plans.
114
00:04:30,770 --> 00:04:33,138
I won't then. I'll see you
after I give my roommate
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Ron a wash and perm.
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00:04:37,143 --> 00:04:40,278
PILAF: All night long. (Chuckles)
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00:04:40,312 --> 00:04:42,413
Whoa. You guys look kind of good. Who died?
118
00:04:42,448 --> 00:04:44,415
Uh, Pilaf's great-uncle died.
119
00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:46,584
- Oh, sorry.
- So we're taking the coaches clubbing
120
00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:48,419
with my ballin' cousins. It's a tradition.
121
00:04:48,454 --> 00:04:50,188
We honor the fallen by
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00:04:50,222 --> 00:04:52,624
hiring a limousine and paying a 600% markup
123
00:04:52,658 --> 00:04:53,958
on wine and spirits.
124
00:04:53,992 --> 00:04:55,960
So is, uh, Janet gonna be there?
125
00:04:55,994 --> 00:04:58,462
- I hope her going-out vest is clean.
- Actually,
126
00:04:58,496 --> 00:05:01,666
- we're giving each other some space this weekend.
- Oh, really?
127
00:05:01,700 --> 00:05:02,933
- Really.
- So, you're just going to the club,
128
00:05:02,968 --> 00:05:05,670
on the prowl for some strange?
129
00:05:05,704 --> 00:05:07,171
What? No. I don't know.
130
00:05:07,205 --> 00:05:08,605
We're just hanging with
some friends, you know?
131
00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:10,274
Throwing back some drinks at Bungalow.
132
00:05:10,308 --> 00:05:12,342
- In honor of Great-Uncle Pilaf.
- What?
133
00:05:12,377 --> 00:05:13,877
You guys are going to Bungalow?
What are you doing there?
134
00:05:13,911 --> 00:05:16,480
That's a nice place, like...
135
00:05:16,514 --> 00:05:18,348
- an I-would-go-there nice place.
- What? I go to nice places.
136
00:05:18,383 --> 00:05:20,128
- Uh...
- Uh, yeah, like Planet Hollywood,
137
00:05:20,129 --> 00:05:21,571
opening night, Fresno.
138
00:05:23,388 --> 00:05:25,955
I don't know if you guys peered
out of the window recently.
139
00:05:25,990 --> 00:05:27,957
There is a limo. It's
got balloons coming out
140
00:05:27,992 --> 00:05:30,660
of the sunroof. It's big enough
to hold an enormous check.
141
00:05:30,695 --> 00:05:32,361
I think I finally won
142
00:05:32,396 --> 00:05:34,731
the Publisher's Clearing House
million dollar sweepstakes!
143
00:05:34,765 --> 00:05:37,366
Uh, Carl, that's, that's, uh, our limo.
144
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Oh, man!
145
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- Sorry.
- Hey, Meredith,
146
00:05:41,105 --> 00:05:43,039
- how's the yearbook coming?
- Oh, so great!
147
00:05:43,074 --> 00:05:45,474
Ginny just sent me out to
get more computer chips.
148
00:05:45,509 --> 00:05:46,742
Ah, delegating. Nice management.
149
00:05:46,776 --> 00:05:48,010
Boss Nehru.
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00:05:48,044 --> 00:05:49,478
Oh!
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00:05:49,513 --> 00:05:51,247
All right, well, our coaches' coach awaits.
152
00:05:51,281 --> 00:05:53,716
Wait, wait, wait, wait! What about me?
153
00:05:53,750 --> 00:05:55,218
I want to go to Bungalow
154
00:05:55,252 --> 00:05:57,152
with Pilaf's rich cuzzies and no Janet.
155
00:05:57,187 --> 00:05:58,588
Come on. Ginny's gonna let you leave?
156
00:05:58,622 --> 00:05:59,722
After a few attempts
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00:05:59,756 --> 00:06:01,924
of me "trying to help" her, she will.
158
00:06:01,958 --> 00:06:04,159
I mean, I'm going to Bungalow.
159
00:06:04,194 --> 00:06:06,195
Pilaf's great-uncle
would've wanted it that way.
160
00:06:06,229 --> 00:06:09,932
Actually, my uncle considered
women his social lessers.
161
00:06:09,966 --> 00:06:11,433
Okay, I'll just wait in the limo.
162
00:06:11,467 --> 00:06:12,701
Give me two minutes.
163
00:06:12,736 --> 00:06:14,103
Okay.
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00:06:18,774 --> 00:06:20,208
Uh, hey, Ginny.
165
00:06:20,243 --> 00:06:22,076
(sobbing)
166
00:06:22,111 --> 00:06:23,445
Seems like nothing's wrong.
167
00:06:23,479 --> 00:06:25,079
- Yeah, I'm fine!
- Great.
168
00:06:25,114 --> 00:06:27,349
- So, my theory checks out.
- Actually, I'm not.
169
00:06:27,383 --> 00:06:30,285
My boyfriend just called
and broke up with me.
170
00:06:30,319 --> 00:06:33,054
Oh, my God, you have a
boyfriend and I don't?
171
00:06:33,088 --> 00:06:34,222
We were on again,
172
00:06:34,256 --> 00:06:36,690
and then we were off again, and then a few
173
00:06:36,725 --> 00:06:39,560
months ago, I was just so
fed up, and so I ended it.
174
00:06:39,594 --> 00:06:41,428
And then he begs me to take him back.
175
00:06:41,463 --> 00:06:43,597
And he makes all these promises.
176
00:06:43,632 --> 00:06:45,366
And so I did, and it was great.
177
00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:46,934
And then I thought he was the one.
178
00:06:46,969 --> 00:06:48,136
And now, out of the blue,
179
00:06:48,170 --> 00:06:49,937
he just called me and broke up with me!
180
00:06:49,972 --> 00:06:52,439
- I can't believe it.
- I know!
181
00:06:52,474 --> 00:06:54,741
A boyfriend. And I'm single.
182
00:06:54,935 --> 00:06:56,636
It's, like, what world are we living in?
183
00:06:56,670 --> 00:06:58,538
- I mean, that sucks. He's a jerk.
- Yeah.
184
00:06:58,572 --> 00:07:01,373
- So, how's the yearbook looking?
- Oh, I can't even think
185
00:07:01,408 --> 00:07:02,045
about the yearbook now.
186
00:07:02,050 --> 00:07:03,487
Mm-hmm. But you'll totally be able to
187
00:07:03,516 --> 00:07:05,617
in, like, two minus, right?
'Cause there's so much
188
00:07:05,651 --> 00:07:07,852
riding on this: kids'
memories, my line-free face.
189
00:07:07,886 --> 00:07:09,120
(Joel whistles)
190
00:07:09,354 --> 00:07:12,023
Hey. I just need three minutes.
191
00:07:12,057 --> 00:07:13,957
(Ginny moans)
192
00:07:14,292 --> 00:07:15,759
Five, ten, tops.
193
00:07:15,794 --> 00:07:18,195
(moans)
194
00:07:18,229 --> 00:07:19,697
A good hour.
195
00:07:19,731 --> 00:07:21,298
Just go.
196
00:07:23,894 --> 00:07:25,562
We have been over every subject,
197
00:07:25,596 --> 00:07:28,231
and I cannot find one
weaknesses. You're gonna be out
198
00:07:28,266 --> 00:07:31,568
from under Ginny's thumb and running
your own classroom in no time!
199
00:07:31,602 --> 00:07:33,203
My own classroom?!
200
00:07:33,237 --> 00:07:34,604
Wow!
201
00:07:34,639 --> 00:07:36,406
Guess who thinks you're ready
202
00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:38,374
for a practice test. Guess.
203
00:07:39,276 --> 00:07:41,343
I do! (Laughs)
204
00:07:42,678 --> 00:07:44,279
You failed.
205
00:07:44,647 --> 00:07:46,114
You failed really bad.
206
00:07:46,428 --> 00:07:47,729
What happened?!
207
00:07:47,764 --> 00:07:49,430
You knew this material.
208
00:07:49,465 --> 00:07:51,366
I guess I buckled under pressure.
209
00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:53,535
Guess I'm gonna be
210
00:07:53,569 --> 00:07:55,336
a student teacher forever.
211
00:07:55,371 --> 00:07:57,005
(sighs)
212
00:07:57,067 --> 00:07:59,563
Ok, well, uh, I'm just gonna
get going on this yearbook.
213
00:07:59,568 --> 00:08:03,611
I guess I'm just gonna give everyone
in, uh, Black History Club afros.
214
00:08:03,646 --> 00:08:04,670
Or, you know what?
215
00:08:05,014 --> 00:08:07,015
I should probably just give
everyone in the yearbook afros.
216
00:08:07,049 --> 00:08:08,774
So, just stop me.
217
00:08:08,778 --> 00:08:10,411
Feel free to take over at any time
218
00:08:10,446 --> 00:08:12,013
if this isn't your vibe, so...
219
00:08:14,850 --> 00:08:17,018
You know, I've been
through breakups, Ginny,
220
00:08:17,052 --> 00:08:19,020
so I know exactly what you need.
221
00:08:19,054 --> 00:08:22,490
We are gonna write him a letter
that you're never gonna send.
222
00:08:22,525 --> 00:08:25,493
Pen to paper, validate
your stupid feelings.
223
00:08:25,528 --> 00:08:27,828
Dear Ian,
224
00:08:27,863 --> 00:08:32,733
I am so glad to be done with you
225
00:08:32,768 --> 00:08:35,736
because now I can focus...
226
00:08:35,771 --> 00:08:40,074
on finishing this yearbook. Are you rich?
227
00:08:40,108 --> 00:08:42,843
If so, I have...
228
00:08:42,878 --> 00:08:45,379
a super hot...
229
00:08:45,413 --> 00:08:46,880
friend for you.
230
00:08:48,616 --> 00:08:49,849
Here you go.
231
00:08:49,884 --> 00:08:52,452
Okay, and now you can get on back to it.
232
00:08:52,487 --> 00:08:54,555
Hallelujah!
233
00:08:54,589 --> 00:08:56,790
Man, have we overcome.
234
00:08:56,824 --> 00:08:58,058
(sobbing): No, we haven't.
235
00:08:58,192 --> 00:09:00,526
Right, because you hate him
236
00:09:00,561 --> 00:09:03,229
and you have to get that
hate out of your heart.
237
00:09:03,263 --> 00:09:05,264
You have to destroy
something that he loves.
238
00:09:05,299 --> 00:09:07,100
What have you got?
239
00:09:07,134 --> 00:09:08,802
(fabric rips) Feels good, right?
240
00:09:08,956 --> 00:09:10,190
I guess so.
241
00:09:10,224 --> 00:09:11,991
Yeah, you go, girl!
242
00:09:12,026 --> 00:09:13,759
Spice World! Queen for a Day!
243
00:09:13,794 --> 00:09:15,394
(shredder stops)
244
00:09:16,863 --> 00:09:18,864
Okay, here's how you get back at him.
245
00:09:18,898 --> 00:09:20,533
You finish that yearbook!
246
00:09:20,567 --> 00:09:23,569
'Cause if you don't finish
that yearbook, he wins.
247
00:09:23,603 --> 00:09:25,771
I mean, it's just that obvious.
248
00:09:26,773 --> 00:09:29,007
You know, I have been racking my brain,
249
00:09:29,042 --> 00:09:31,076
and I realize the problem is your brain.
250
00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:33,061
You sound just like my pediatrician.
251
00:09:33,096 --> 00:09:36,331
Now, I realized that
when it's just you and me
252
00:09:36,366 --> 00:09:37,933
studying in a friendly environment,
253
00:09:37,967 --> 00:09:39,801
you have total command of the material.
254
00:09:39,835 --> 00:09:42,771
But when the pressure's
on, your brain freezes.
255
00:09:42,805 --> 00:09:45,640
So what your brain needs
is a little antifreeze.
256
00:09:45,674 --> 00:09:49,611
I drank some of that as
a kid. It was delicious.
257
00:09:49,645 --> 00:09:52,781
Kim! Wow, I see why Ginny does that.
258
00:09:52,815 --> 00:09:54,282
Let me help you.
259
00:09:54,316 --> 00:09:57,084
But how do we fix my head?
260
00:09:57,119 --> 00:09:59,086
I know a thing or two about mental blocks.
261
00:09:59,121 --> 00:10:02,089
I've been stuck on page seven
of my novel for 23 years.
262
00:10:02,124 --> 00:10:04,091
You mark my words.
263
00:10:04,126 --> 00:10:05,927
You're gonna pass that test
264
00:10:05,961 --> 00:10:07,761
and Detective Carl Gaines is gonna find out
265
00:10:07,796 --> 00:10:09,530
who the real Frisco Slasher is.
266
00:10:09,564 --> 00:10:11,332
Hint: it's not who you think.
267
00:10:13,302 --> 00:10:15,469
You'd be surprised to know that Carl tried
268
00:10:15,503 --> 00:10:17,104
to make coleslaw with this very shredder.
269
00:10:17,139 --> 00:10:18,339
That doesn't surprise me at all.
270
00:10:18,373 --> 00:10:19,606
Turned out pretty good.
271
00:10:19,641 --> 00:10:20,942
That does surprise me.
272
00:10:20,976 --> 00:10:23,209
So many surprises. Hey,
let's keep it moving, okay?
273
00:10:23,244 --> 00:10:25,145
This is a little tougher than I thought.
274
00:10:25,179 --> 00:10:26,313
But not nearly as bad
275
00:10:26,347 --> 00:10:27,981
as when the Shumaker kid
laminated his scrotum.
276
00:10:28,015 --> 00:10:29,750
I'll be back.
277
00:10:31,185 --> 00:10:32,519
Thank you.
278
00:10:32,554 --> 00:10:34,855
Great. Let's get back to business,
279
00:10:34,889 --> 00:10:37,691
- buckle down and do this.
- (Phone rings)
280
00:10:37,725 --> 00:10:40,293
Oh, sorry. I have to get
this. It's just some...
281
00:10:40,328 --> 00:10:41,561
It's my priest, so...
282
00:10:42,830 --> 00:10:43,796
Hello, Joel.
283
00:10:43,831 --> 00:10:46,333
Hey, hey! The limo is on its way.
284
00:10:46,367 --> 00:10:48,034
This club is nuts!
285
00:10:48,069 --> 00:10:49,402
There's so many strobe lights.
286
00:10:49,437 --> 00:10:51,037
I've seen two people have seizures.
287
00:10:51,072 --> 00:10:52,973
One person had a seizure,
and the ambulance came,
288
00:10:53,007 --> 00:10:55,375
and the lights made the
other person have a seizure.
289
00:10:55,409 --> 00:10:57,009
Awesome.
290
00:10:57,043 --> 00:10:58,243
And Pilaf's cousins spent a grand
291
00:10:58,278 --> 00:10:59,679
on a two-foot bottle of vodka.
292
00:10:59,713 --> 00:11:00,913
Joel-y!
293
00:11:00,948 --> 00:11:02,348
Come help me with the shots.
294
00:11:02,382 --> 00:11:04,550
Who's that? Is that Mr. Pilaf?
295
00:11:04,585 --> 00:11:05,818
Oh, no, it's just some girl's birthday.
296
00:11:05,853 --> 00:11:07,219
Her friends got her 21 shots.
297
00:11:07,253 --> 00:11:08,220
We're just helping her drink them.
298
00:11:08,254 --> 00:11:10,155
Joel! Come on!
299
00:11:10,190 --> 00:11:12,524
Wow. Sounds like that girl's
really all over your...
300
00:11:12,558 --> 00:11:13,859
I'll see you soon.
301
00:11:13,893 --> 00:11:16,228
... penis.
302
00:11:16,262 --> 00:11:18,263
(soothing sitar music plays)
303
00:11:20,300 --> 00:11:22,868
Welcome to my relaxation dojo,
304
00:11:22,902 --> 00:11:24,436
which is just an old storage room,
305
00:11:24,471 --> 00:11:26,872
soothing music and a tapestry I threw over
306
00:11:26,906 --> 00:11:28,240
the third row seat of
my brother's Suburban.
307
00:11:28,274 --> 00:11:29,207
Cool.
308
00:11:29,241 --> 00:11:30,909
What are we doing here?
309
00:11:30,943 --> 00:11:32,210
I'm gonna try and help you
310
00:11:32,244 --> 00:11:34,579
get over your fear of taking tests
311
00:11:34,614 --> 00:11:36,748
by using "vocal visualization."
312
00:11:36,782 --> 00:11:38,349
You visualize what you want,
313
00:11:38,384 --> 00:11:39,751
you say it out loud.
314
00:11:39,785 --> 00:11:42,186
So I just say everything I think?
315
00:11:42,221 --> 00:11:43,421
Yep. Take it away.
316
00:11:43,455 --> 00:11:45,556
Okay. I am...
317
00:11:45,590 --> 00:11:47,558
picturing a map.
318
00:11:47,592 --> 00:11:48,893
Oh, it's my hometown.
319
00:11:48,927 --> 00:11:50,128
Yes...
320
00:11:50,162 --> 00:11:51,429
There's the gazebo.
321
00:11:51,463 --> 00:11:52,630
And who could forget
322
00:11:52,664 --> 00:11:53,898
the Daverman murder house?
323
00:11:53,932 --> 00:11:56,034
- Um...
- Don't want to go there.
324
00:11:56,068 --> 00:11:57,535
Maybe just a peek.
325
00:11:57,569 --> 00:11:59,404
Oh, hey, Mr. Daverman.
326
00:11:59,438 --> 00:12:02,072
I thought you were condemned to death row.
327
00:12:02,106 --> 00:12:04,808
Sure, I'll take a tour of your cellar.
328
00:12:04,843 --> 00:12:05,943
Oh, boy.
329
00:12:05,977 --> 00:12:07,578
Nice.
330
00:12:07,612 --> 00:12:09,747
Um, I'm just gonna go to the bathroom.
331
00:12:09,781 --> 00:12:11,649
But, uh... (laughs)
332
00:12:11,683 --> 00:12:14,217
- ... I'm definitely coming back.
- Just go.
333
00:12:14,252 --> 00:12:16,286
I heard you on the phone, I
know you don't want to be here.
334
00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:17,655
Maybe.
335
00:12:17,689 --> 00:12:19,089
I know you just pretended to care about me
336
00:12:19,123 --> 00:12:20,323
because you want me to finish the yearbook.
337
00:12:20,358 --> 00:12:21,258
I get it.
338
00:12:23,794 --> 00:12:25,595
(sighs)
339
00:12:25,629 --> 00:12:27,264
And where did we land
on the Botox of it all?
340
00:12:27,298 --> 00:12:29,799
- You can have it.
- (Phone buzzes)
341
00:12:29,833 --> 00:12:30,778
- My whole life just fell apart
- _
342
00:12:30,779 --> 00:12:31,679
- _
- and I have to start all over again,
343
00:12:31,702 --> 00:12:33,937
and I honestly have no idea how to do that.
344
00:12:33,971 --> 00:12:36,005
So I'm just gonna do the yearbook,
345
00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:37,473
'cause at least that's
one thing I know how to do.
346
00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:39,075
Look, it's gonna be hard
347
00:12:39,109 --> 00:12:40,309
- at first, but you'll...
- (phone buzzes)
348
00:12:40,343 --> 00:12:41,477
Just go.
349
00:12:41,511 --> 00:12:43,479
We both know you were never gonna help.
350
00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:45,181
Just go.
351
00:12:45,215 --> 00:12:46,449
Uh, okay, I'm gonna jump in here.
352
00:12:46,483 --> 00:12:48,350
Let's focus on a more positive,
353
00:12:48,385 --> 00:12:50,352
less terrifying scenario.
354
00:12:50,387 --> 00:12:51,987
Think about something you want to achieve.
355
00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:54,990
Like... it's your first day as a teacher,
356
00:12:55,024 --> 00:12:57,126
in front of your own classroom.
357
00:12:57,160 --> 00:12:59,695
Nothing but your wits
and a teacher's edition.
358
00:12:59,729 --> 00:13:01,497
I'm not... sure.
359
00:13:01,531 --> 00:13:03,099
Okay, let me show you.
360
00:13:03,133 --> 00:13:05,434
It's a late summer afternoon.
361
00:13:05,469 --> 00:13:07,769
I walk into the kitchen
362
00:13:07,804 --> 00:13:09,304
and my cereal's not stale,
363
00:13:09,338 --> 00:13:10,872
because my roommate Ron
364
00:13:10,907 --> 00:13:13,041
remembered to put the
top on the stay-fresh tub.
365
00:13:13,076 --> 00:13:14,643
And the landline rings.
366
00:13:14,677 --> 00:13:17,345
And it's Stanford, my alma mater.
367
00:13:17,379 --> 00:13:20,148
I have been chosen to give
the commencement speech.
368
00:13:20,182 --> 00:13:22,450
And in the back of the auditorium,
369
00:13:22,485 --> 00:13:24,519
in sunglasses so wide
they'll break your heart,
370
00:13:24,553 --> 00:13:25,786
stands Carla.
371
00:13:25,821 --> 00:13:28,889
And we stroll toward the quad,
372
00:13:28,924 --> 00:13:32,893
laughing and talking about her new beau
373
00:13:32,928 --> 00:13:34,829
who just got smushed by a garbage truck.
374
00:13:34,863 --> 00:13:36,331
TICO: Hey.
375
00:13:36,365 --> 00:13:37,732
- Fixed the shredder for Ginny.
- Why?
376
00:13:37,766 --> 00:13:39,534
'Cause you have nothing better to do
377
00:13:39,568 --> 00:13:41,035
- and you live here?
- Yeah. That's it.
378
00:13:41,069 --> 00:13:43,403
Come on. She's having a tough day.
379
00:13:45,573 --> 00:13:47,341
You like Ginny?
380
00:13:47,375 --> 00:13:49,209
Okay.
381
00:13:54,233 --> 00:13:54,800
TICO: All fixed.
382
00:13:55,235 --> 00:13:56,184
That's the worst shredder blowout
383
00:13:56,202 --> 00:13:58,463
I've seen since Ms. Patchell's
class hamster climbed in.
384
00:13:58,498 --> 00:14:00,898
Well, I appreciate your strong work ethic.
385
00:14:01,033 --> 00:14:03,835
Tried to fix the jersey, too, but...
386
00:14:03,869 --> 00:14:05,436
no such luck.
387
00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:06,770
So what happened between you and this dude?
388
00:14:06,805 --> 00:14:08,239
Dude? No.
389
00:14:08,273 --> 00:14:09,473
This jersey's mine.
390
00:14:09,507 --> 00:14:10,842
Cool.
391
00:14:15,313 --> 00:14:16,814
He obviously didn't deserve you.
392
00:14:22,286 --> 00:14:24,521
Uh... are we gonna talk about that?
393
00:14:24,556 --> 00:14:25,989
Talk about what?
394
00:14:26,023 --> 00:14:27,491
Why... why are you back?
395
00:14:27,525 --> 00:14:29,759
I went to the club for, like, one second,
396
00:14:29,793 --> 00:14:31,027
but I was so obviously
the hottest one there
397
00:14:31,062 --> 00:14:32,295
I just felt like I was taking attention
398
00:14:32,330 --> 00:14:33,796
away from everyone, so...
399
00:14:33,831 --> 00:14:35,798
Well, there's a lot of work here to do,
400
00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:37,433
so did you come back to just stand there
401
00:14:37,468 --> 00:14:38,668
or are you actually gonna help?
402
00:14:38,702 --> 00:14:40,203
- Oh, I'm gonna help.
- Good.
403
00:14:40,238 --> 00:14:41,371
You.
404
00:14:42,814 --> 00:14:44,214
MEREDITH: I feel like someone's choking me,
405
00:14:44,248 --> 00:14:45,981
and not in the fun way.
406
00:14:46,016 --> 00:14:47,850
GINNY: Is there anything
to cover the rest of me?
407
00:14:47,884 --> 00:14:49,219
Ugh, I feel like Mrs. Doubtfire.
408
00:14:49,253 --> 00:14:50,587
I feel like a whore.
409
00:14:53,890 --> 00:14:56,192
- You look amazing!
- You look amazing!
410
00:15:03,233 --> 00:15:04,466
Okay...
411
00:15:04,500 --> 00:15:06,468
- Go get him, tiger.
- (Ginny whimpers)
412
00:15:06,502 --> 00:15:08,170
Wait, what about the yearbook?
413
00:15:08,205 --> 00:15:09,304
Oh, Carl will get over it.
414
00:15:09,339 --> 00:15:11,406
Or... you could do it.
415
00:15:11,441 --> 00:15:13,042
- Ugh...
- Come on.
416
00:15:13,076 --> 00:15:15,044
I've been around tons of yearbook nerds
417
00:15:15,078 --> 00:15:16,912
and you are just as smart as them.
418
00:15:16,947 --> 00:15:19,147
You really think I can do it?
419
00:15:19,181 --> 00:15:20,815
Didn't you ever secretly wish
420
00:15:20,850 --> 00:15:22,484
that you were one of us yearbook nerds?
421
00:15:22,518 --> 00:15:23,852
Nope.
422
00:15:23,886 --> 00:15:25,254
Not for a minute. But I'll try.
423
00:15:25,288 --> 00:15:26,588
Okay...
424
00:15:26,623 --> 00:15:28,357
Good luck, hot stuff.
425
00:15:28,391 --> 00:15:30,058
Girls up, tush out.
426
00:15:33,363 --> 00:15:35,730
(knocking)
427
00:15:40,736 --> 00:15:42,436
You found me.
428
00:15:42,471 --> 00:15:44,405
Well, you didn't go very far.
429
00:15:44,439 --> 00:15:46,841
I can't help it, I love this school.
430
00:15:46,876 --> 00:15:48,576
Plus, I have night blindness
431
00:15:48,610 --> 00:15:50,544
and it is not safe for me to drive.
432
00:15:50,579 --> 00:15:53,113
Kim, what is going on?
433
00:15:53,148 --> 00:15:54,382
Hard to say.
434
00:15:54,416 --> 00:15:55,616
I can't see.
435
00:15:55,651 --> 00:15:56,884
Kim!
436
00:15:56,918 --> 00:15:58,118
Sorry.
437
00:15:58,153 --> 00:15:59,520
Every time you mentioned me
438
00:15:59,554 --> 00:16:01,522
in a classroom without Ginny,
439
00:16:01,556 --> 00:16:04,091
it made me want to climb out a window.
440
00:16:04,125 --> 00:16:06,527
Fool me once, Kim.
441
00:16:06,561 --> 00:16:07,762
But I'm scared!
442
00:16:07,796 --> 00:16:09,062
What if I'm not a good teacher?
443
00:16:09,097 --> 00:16:10,630
If I don't pass the test,
444
00:16:10,665 --> 00:16:12,399
then I'll never have to leave Ginny
445
00:16:12,433 --> 00:16:14,067
and we'll never find out.
446
00:16:14,102 --> 00:16:15,903
I want to show you something.
447
00:16:17,738 --> 00:16:18,972
Joel. Hi.
448
00:16:19,007 --> 00:16:20,540
Yeah, I missed the limo.
449
00:16:20,574 --> 00:16:23,743
But do you know what or where a Photoshop
450
00:16:23,778 --> 00:16:25,578
is or may be located?
451
00:16:25,613 --> 00:16:27,547
JOEL: Uh, isn't that above your pay grade?
452
00:16:27,581 --> 00:16:29,215
(gasps)
453
00:16:29,249 --> 00:16:30,082
What?
454
00:16:30,117 --> 00:16:30,983
We got kicked out.
455
00:16:31,018 --> 00:16:33,320
Pilaf got so amped he
started dancing on our table.
456
00:16:33,354 --> 00:16:34,921
He fell through, glass everywhere.
457
00:16:34,955 --> 00:16:36,989
Every time I hear Sir
Mix-a-Lot, I get really angry.
458
00:16:37,024 --> 00:16:39,158
- But in a fun way.
- Holla.
459
00:16:39,193 --> 00:16:40,427
So we brought the party here.
460
00:16:40,461 --> 00:16:41,928
What do you say we ditch yearbook
461
00:16:41,962 --> 00:16:43,796
and fish this foot of vodka?
462
00:16:43,831 --> 00:16:45,932
What do you say we ditch that vodka
463
00:16:45,966 --> 00:16:48,167
and finish the yearbook?
464
00:16:49,870 --> 00:16:51,304
Wait a minute. You look different.
465
00:16:51,338 --> 00:16:52,604
Where are your boobs?
466
00:16:54,875 --> 00:16:56,976
This is it.
467
00:16:57,010 --> 00:16:58,677
The Hall of Principals.
468
00:16:58,712 --> 00:17:00,178
Nixon's finest.
469
00:17:00,213 --> 00:17:02,247
I thought it was a myth.
470
00:17:02,281 --> 00:17:03,482
Curtis Boone.
471
00:17:03,516 --> 00:17:04,950
Spearheaded the Get Up and Go
472
00:17:04,984 --> 00:17:06,785
Young Readers Program.
473
00:17:06,820 --> 00:17:09,455
Al "Teriyaki" Windsor.
474
00:17:09,489 --> 00:17:11,089
Introduced the free lunches
475
00:17:11,123 --> 00:17:13,291
for impoverished students and Hawaiians.
476
00:17:13,326 --> 00:17:14,926
Rune Mayweather.
477
00:17:14,961 --> 00:17:16,294
Brought back corporal punishment.
478
00:17:16,329 --> 00:17:18,096
Resigned in disgrace.
479
00:17:18,130 --> 00:17:19,764
There she is...
480
00:17:19,798 --> 00:17:22,367
my mentor and my predecessor,
481
00:17:22,401 --> 00:17:23,835
Martha Pyle.
482
00:17:23,870 --> 00:17:26,037
Rune? Man or woman?
483
00:17:26,072 --> 00:17:28,039
I can't tell from the name or the picture.
484
00:17:28,074 --> 00:17:29,640
Kim, stay with me, please.
485
00:17:29,675 --> 00:17:31,476
You know, I started as an English teacher.
486
00:17:31,510 --> 00:17:33,110
That's all I ever wanted to be.
487
00:17:33,144 --> 00:17:35,012
But Martha, she saw a lot more in me.
488
00:17:35,046 --> 00:17:36,547
And she pushed me.
489
00:17:36,582 --> 00:17:38,983
It smells kind of bad in here.
490
00:17:39,017 --> 00:17:42,319
I was offered the job
of principal three times
491
00:17:42,354 --> 00:17:44,389
before I accepted. Why?
492
00:17:44,423 --> 00:17:45,857
Because I was scared.
493
00:17:45,891 --> 00:17:47,557
You were?
494
00:17:49,194 --> 00:17:51,528
But taking that leap was
the best thing I ever did.
495
00:17:51,562 --> 00:17:53,530
Oh, you know what?
496
00:17:53,564 --> 00:17:55,532
I think I finally get it.
497
00:17:55,566 --> 00:17:56,901
Hey, let's go pass that test.
498
00:17:56,935 --> 00:17:58,002
Yeah.
499
00:18:00,571 --> 00:18:02,206
Wow.
500
00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:03,673
These are really good.
501
00:18:03,708 --> 00:18:05,041
The sketches or the Chewy Chews?
502
00:18:05,075 --> 00:18:07,878
- The sketches and the Chewy Chews.
- Mmm.
503
00:18:07,912 --> 00:18:09,513
Especially this sketch
504
00:18:09,547 --> 00:18:11,481
of a box of Chewy Chews.
505
00:18:11,516 --> 00:18:13,016
I draw what I like.
506
00:18:27,264 --> 00:18:28,764
(snoring)
507
00:18:28,799 --> 00:18:30,866
So did you strike out with
all those 21-year-olds?
508
00:18:30,901 --> 00:18:32,435
(scoffs) Wouldn't you like that?
509
00:18:32,469 --> 00:18:34,070
Actually, yeah, I struck out pretty hard.
510
00:18:34,104 --> 00:18:35,704
Oh, my God.
511
00:18:35,739 --> 00:18:37,005
- We're done.
- Yes...
512
00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:39,174
- I did it!
- Okay, yearbook nerd.
513
00:18:39,208 --> 00:18:40,843
Whatever, dumb jock.
514
00:18:40,877 --> 00:18:42,377
(laughs)
515
00:18:50,386 --> 00:18:51,754
I...
516
00:18:51,788 --> 00:18:53,855
I... I really, really want to,
517
00:18:53,889 --> 00:18:55,357
I just... I shouldn't.
518
00:18:55,391 --> 00:18:57,259
Because I'm still kind of with Janet.
519
00:18:57,293 --> 00:18:59,094
I'm sorry.
520
00:18:59,128 --> 00:19:01,363
(sighs)
521
00:19:01,397 --> 00:19:02,764
Tease.
522
00:19:02,798 --> 00:19:04,799
Shut up.
523
00:19:08,671 --> 00:19:10,672
Thanks.
524
00:19:20,616 --> 00:19:22,416
Congratulations, Kim, you passed.
525
00:19:22,451 --> 00:19:24,051
I did?
526
00:19:24,086 --> 00:19:25,286
Oh, wow!
527
00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:26,653
(laughs)
528
00:19:26,688 --> 00:19:27,921
Oh.
529
00:19:27,956 --> 00:19:30,091
I guess it's all real, then.
530
00:19:30,125 --> 00:19:32,759
I'm gonna have to move on.
531
00:19:32,794 --> 00:19:34,962
Well, I just checked.
532
00:19:34,997 --> 00:19:37,131
Now, there's a small waiting
list for a teacher's position,
533
00:19:37,165 --> 00:19:39,666
but something should be
opening up in about four years.
534
00:19:40,702 --> 00:19:43,069
So, can I stay on
535
00:19:43,104 --> 00:19:44,905
as a student teacher
under Ginny until then?
536
00:19:44,939 --> 00:19:46,773
We would be honored to have you.
537
00:19:46,808 --> 00:19:49,309
Thank you.
538
00:19:49,343 --> 00:19:50,677
Thank you so much.
539
00:19:50,712 --> 00:19:52,178
(laughing)
540
00:19:52,213 --> 00:19:53,914
What's going on here?
541
00:19:53,948 --> 00:19:56,316
- Yearbook, son.
- (whoops)
542
00:19:56,350 --> 00:20:00,420
Now I get excited every day
543
00:20:00,454 --> 00:20:05,825
Ooh ooh ooh oo-oo-oo-ooh
544
00:20:05,859 --> 00:20:08,261
Weird stuff happens here on the weekends.
545
00:20:08,295 --> 00:20:09,795
Good morning might be boring
546
00:20:09,830 --> 00:20:11,431
But my soul's soaring
547
00:20:11,465 --> 00:20:14,867
Now I get excited every day
548
00:20:14,902 --> 00:20:17,837
Ooh ooh ooh oo-oo-oo-ooh
549
00:20:17,871 --> 00:20:20,740
I get excited every day.
550
00:20:23,113 --> 00:20:24,314
The yearbook just came in.
551
00:20:24,348 --> 00:20:25,614
- Everybody circle up.
- All right.
552
00:20:25,648 --> 00:20:26,849
- (quiet whoops)
- That's exciting.
553
00:20:26,883 --> 00:20:27,917
Ooh... All right.
554
00:20:27,951 --> 00:20:30,052
Here it... Whoa, wait a minute.
555
00:20:31,121 --> 00:20:32,421
"My yearbook"?
556
00:20:32,455 --> 00:20:34,289
What the... ?
557
00:20:34,324 --> 00:20:36,192
GINNY: "But mostly Ms. Davis"?
558
00:20:36,226 --> 00:20:37,626
CARL: Oh, now she's Spike Lee?
559
00:20:38,561 --> 00:20:39,995
KIM: Here we go.
560
00:20:40,030 --> 00:20:41,296
ALL: What?
561
00:20:41,331 --> 00:20:42,531
JOEL: Okay, those are thumbnails.
562
00:20:42,565 --> 00:20:43,699
GINNY: Ugh.
563
00:20:43,733 --> 00:20:45,200
CARL: Maybe it gets better.
564
00:20:45,235 --> 00:20:47,035
Uh-oh. It's all Meredith.
565
00:20:47,069 --> 00:20:48,437
KIM: Oh, I like it.
566
00:20:48,471 --> 00:20:49,705
GINNY (gasps): More Meredith!
567
00:20:49,739 --> 00:20:50,805
Ew.
568
00:20:50,840 --> 00:20:52,474
KIM: She looks pretty there.
569
00:20:52,508 --> 00:20:53,808
JOEL: What?
570
00:20:53,843 --> 00:20:55,544
CARL: We're going to have to redo this.
571
00:20:55,578 --> 00:20:58,113
MEREDITH: So...
572
00:20:58,147 --> 00:20:59,680
Nailed it, right?
573
00:21:03,978 --> 00:21:09,682
- Synced By YesCool - corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
574
00:21:09,732 --> 00:21:14,282
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