All language subtitles for Back in Very Small Business s01e05 Crossing Line.eng

YVONNE: You can't seriously be
considering paying for her surgeries.

RAY: His surgeries.

- She's living with you.
- He's.

Don't tell me what to call my child.

Oh, my God, how do you make
a break-up look adorable?

- Yeah, that's really nice.
- Check your phone.

80 likes in 20 seconds.
Sam, thank you so much.

Why are you being such a drainer?

Well, excuse me for trying
to be close to you.

I'm not your wife.

Actually, I just need to follow
up on the cowhide chairs

and where your orders
are at please, Bridget.

- Why? Have they arrived?
- Yes. I don't know.

But I need to get on to that ASAP

because obviously we
need that to happen.

I'll be in touch when I have the chairs.

(COMPUTER DINGS)

There he is.

Made, how are you. Oh,
fuck, he's gone again.

Sorry Don, the connection's
very bad this morning.

Ashley, are you watching
Netflix? Shut it down.

- It's nearly at the end.
- Oh, beg your pardon.

Seriously, I've got enough
hold-ups with my cowhide chairs.

Don, he's back.

- Ah, dirty Made!
- Hello, Don!

You wanna see some
exciting new products?

No, I want to see some old products.
Delivered. My cowhide chairs.

- Where are they?
- Well, Don, they're...

Oh, Jesus.

How much am I being slugged
for this shitful service?

You did choose the $29
a month option, Don.

Did you want to tether
off my phone again?

Don! Your phone was
ringing in your office.

Which is why I'm out here.

It's annoying. Can you put it on silent?

(RINGTONE BLARES)

- Or change the ringtone?
- Alright!

Better mix it up a bit.

Don! Can you see me?

Made, you slippery bastard.
Where are my chairs?

I just told you, I shipped
them three week ago.

Three weeks ago?

Maybe there's a problem with the ship.

It couldn't have been turned back
by Border Protection, could it?

Made, there's no-one trying
to move to Australia

sitting in my chairs
on that ship, I hope.

- No.
- I'll call the shipping company, Don.

While I got you, Don. I
have exciting new prod...

Oh, bloody hell!

Just walking you over
to Don now, Bridget.

- I'll pop you on speaker.
- Thank you.

It's Bridget! She said she
can't get you on your mobile.

(SIGHS) G'day, Bridge.

- Are you avoiding me?
- Avoiding you?

Oh-oh, don't tell me Celeste
didn't call you back

about me being chock-a-block
this morning.

Celeste-we-forget we call her
Bridget, we really, really do.

They're selling cowhide chairs
almost the same as mine

at Design Do-Overs.

I have exciting new
product for you, huh?

- It's electric up and down...
- Just hang on.

- Are you talking to someone else?
- Sitting is the new cancer...

Now I've got the perfect connection.

Bridget, I don't want you
getting your knickers in a knot

because, ah, I'm only going to
have to untie them with my teeth.

Oh, Don!

Well, you put it on speaker.

Are you not taking this seriously?

I am going to lose my pre-orders
if I don't get my bloody stock.

Oh, that's just hurtful.

To hear you doubting my supply chain...

- Well, where are they?
- Where are they?

Um...

Well, I'm actually being advised
that, um, ah, doctors, ah,

checking people's hearts are, um,
are gonna knock themselves out

trying to get hold of the chairs,
I assume for their waiting rooms.

What?

And I don't see any reason

why we won't be able to drop
them round to you today.

Well, if you don't drop
them around today,

you can forget about ever
dropping anything here again.

Chairs, your guts or your pants.

You are a very funny woman, Bridget.

I think you've lost her.

Yes, Vijay, could we go, please?

- Synced & Corrected by Dragoniod -
www.addic7ed.com

(CAR HORN BEEPS)

What, is your start time fluid as well?

- Hi.
- Hey.

- Been shopping?
- Yep.

And?

No, it's just I'm surprised.

This is because deep down,

you don't like me wearing
men's clothes, isn't it?

No, it's because deep down, you
haven't paid rent for two months,

you're supposedly saving
for treatment and surgery

and you should have been
at work an hour ago.

Can I treat myself, just once?
Is that allowed? Under his eye?

Oh! Ohh!

- How are you, Coco?
- Good.

- Do you need anything?
- No.

- A hug?
- Mm-mm.

Ahh, OK.

This is on my vision board.
You are my inspiration.

You know, when Sylvio ran off
with his dental hygienist

and left me with four kids, I
felt like nobody understood.

But you telling the world
how fucked your life is

just makes me feel normal.

Oh, and um, I bought
that jumper, in blue.

And I bought the Rapture Gourmet
Ice Cream, but not the vanilla.

- The banana bongo.
- Oh, right.

- Is Clay hooking up with his PT?
- No.

Are you sure? My mum said he was.

She follows you now, and
my aunties in South Korea.

Have you seen that
hashtag #CocogotSeoul?

- Mmm.
- "Seoul" as in South Korea.

But it also sounds like "soul".

Yeah. No, I'm not sure. Where's Sam?

- Can we get a selfie? I'll take it.
- Me too.

- No! None of those photos get posted.
- Why not?

Because Coco would never
come to a place like this.

Hmm. Hey Sam, um, can we have a talk?

Sure. Let's grab a coffee.
Say "bye" everyone.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Bye, Coco.

- Leslie?
- Yes?

Look, I'm sorry if I upset you,
but you promised me the rent.

What do you think?

I think it looks expensive.
Where did you get the money?

It's called a credit card, Dad.

You're spending money you don't
have. What's going on with you?

- Just hang on a minute, Kim.
- But I'm busting.

- Can we talk about this over lunch?
- I can't.

I'm having lunch with someone else.

- OK. Someone special?
- Yes.

- Like a date?
- Yes.

Is this the first date
you've been on since you...

Yes.

- You a bit loose in the bowel?
- Yes.

Seriously, Ray.

Kleenex want you using
their tissues exclusively.

Oh, wow.

The Himalayan Spa Retreat

would love for you to emotionally
recover in their six-star luxury.

Oh, and I've got Slater &
Gordon very interested.

Oh, my God, are they
those London designers?

No, they're the Australian lawyers,
just in case things get really ugly.

Who else?

Sexyland want you to rep
their vibrators. Fuck off!

Who do they think you are?

Ooh, what about this, though? L'Oreal.

They want you to do a
billboard campaign,

because "now that she's
back on the market,

"she's gotta be her blemish-free best."

- I'm not.
- No, but they can do PhotoShop.

I'm not back on the market.

Clay and I... Clay and
I got back together.

Ohh, I'm sorry. It's OK.

_

Alright, Vijay.

let's see if we can't free my
must-have cowhide chair knock-offs

from the oppressive regime of
these waterside communists.

G'day, fellas.

I'll have one with onion
and tomato sauce, thanks.

Don Angel, CEO World
Wide Business Group.

And I am Vijay Kapoor, CEO
of Doppelganger Designs.

We are hoping to pick up a
shipment of chairs from Indonesia.

From, ah, Made. Don't
know his last name.

What have you got there?

Is that lamb and pine nut or something?

- Is that...
- It's a nationwide strike.

So you're not going to get your
chairs today, mate, I'm sorry.

Well, hang on, hang on. I
understand how these things work.

Does, ah, does that help

grease the wheels of the, ah, cranes

that lift the containers
out of the ship?

And I'll throw that in, too,
for some kebabs, maybe.

We're taking strike action

in solidarity with our
Indonesian comrades.

We're not unloading any ships
today. It's a matter of principle.

A matter of principle, I
understand. I'm sorry.

I've insulted you.

Shall we say $200?

I don't think the public want

harmony and lightness and
love in your life yet.

What do you mean?

Do not send that to Seoul!

I mean, everybody loves
you when you're sad.

Your brand is stronger
with you two separated.

Mmm.

Look, you and Clay, feet together
on the beach? 80,000 likes.

But, you with one of Clay's Paul
Smith shirts slashed to ribbons,

126,000.

And you throwing all of Clay's shit
from your TV room into a skip,

145,000 likes.

Genius combo of everyone's
major obsessions,

break-ups and decluttering.

I do see what you're saying, but...

It's not like it's forever.

But this break-up train has
a few stops to go yet.

L'Oreal billboards.

Wow.

Break up train. Choo-choo!

Alright. This is my final... OK. OK. OK.

Just saying, this is my final offer.

I'm not bluffing now. There's 350 bucks.

Plus my 10, and this.

$365. Absolute upper limit.

You'll, ah, probably get
yourself a baby Weber for that.

Or a new megaphone.

You two clumsy dicks better
clear off before it gets dark.

Dark?

It's pretty dark in a coma.

This is exactly the problem, isn't it?

This is exactly it, Don.

Everything that's wrong
with this country

is sitting around that
barbecue right now

getting paid triple time

because you bloody work
for six minutes in a row

without getting a break.

Which, granted, must be
a shock to the system

after your annual leave and sick leave,

long service leave,

stress leave,

paternity leave,

disorientation leave

because actually being at work for
six minutes completely threw you,

all the while taking your sly
little under-the-table kickbacks

whilst mugs like Vijay and I
pay our full whack of tax.

Yes, we are mugs.

You lot wouldn't have jobs

if it wasn't for risk-taking
entrepreneurs like me

importing goods into this country.

Goods that you wouldn't
be able to afford

if we paid the original designers.

Next time you think it's a good
idea to jack up the minimum wage,

try asking someone who has to pay it.

At least someone's unloaded today.

Hi, Ray.

Olivia, is Cody gay?

Ah, no. No.

Sorry, I-I just know that
you two are quite close.

Not as close as the girls
he hooks up with on Tinder.

Right.

But, Ray, don't you think
you're a bit old for him?

- No, it's not for me.
- Could he be bisexual?

No! Cody can't multi-task.

No, alright. Thank you.

Be very careful.

I've eaten here before, Dad.

I think you're barking
up the wrong tree.

The Cody tree.

I think he's less a flame tree
and more a straight old pine.

What?

I don't think Cody is right for you.

Do you give out relationship
advice here every day, Dr Phil?

Oh, it's just...

I appreciate that you're
looking out for me,

but you need to trust me on this one.

Cody and I have a thing. The real thing.

Oo-mow-ma-mow-mow.

So, do we have a Plan B, Don?

Plan B, Vijay, is to stall Bridget
until we can make Plan A work.

Otherwise she's going to be
making those chairs herself

out of my scrotum.

(CRUNCH!)

(PHONE RINGS)

Hi, Don. How'd you go?

Celeste, I need four new
tyres here straightaway.

Four tyres, yes.

Is this to help with
negotiations with the unionists?

No, it's to help with driving my
car, away, from the unionists.

So, get on to Bridgestone

or whichever bunch of rubber
monkeys will do it the cheapest.

Quick as you can thanks, Celeste.

I didn't know they reserved tables here.

They don't.

I just wanted to make
sure we got our table.

Our table?

Yeah, this is where we had
our first great chat.

Yeah... That's... yeah. That's right.

I can't wait. This is for you.

- What?
- To open.

OK.

Oh wow.

Like it?

- Is this for me?
- Try it on.

OK.

I bought this one and then
I saw that one in blue.

And I remembered how you were saying

that you struggle to find clothes...

Yep.

..and you don't know what's fashionable.

- Oh, my God, it's perfect.
- It actually fits me.

How did you get my size right?

I'm a good judge.

Wow. Thanks, man.

How much do I owe ya?
Hope it was on sale.

Nothing, and it wasn't.

What? No, I can't not pay you for it.

How can I not pay you for it?

'Cause it was a present.

Ah, um...

Leslie, um, I'm not gay.

Neither am I.

Well, at least one of
us would have to be.

What are you talking about?

Well, you're a dude.

But it's not about that.

It's about you liking
me and me liking you.

Yeah.

Um... I-I don't, though.

Not like that, I mean.

Um...

You probably want the jacket back.

They are lamb and pine nut.
Can you smell that?

I am starving.

I think I've got some mints, Don.

That'll do.

- No, I'll need more than two.
- Of course, Don.

(CAR HORN BEEPS)

How fucking spicy are these?

Why are you buying the
extra strength ones?

That's just broadcasting
you've got bad breath.

- Hi, Don.
- What are you doing here?

What do you mean, "What
am I doing here?"

Tell me you didn't just
go and buy four tyres.

How many did you need?

You were supposed to get a
mobile fitting service.

I thought Vijay could do it.

Oh what, because that's the sort
of unskilled labour Indians do?

Can you do it?

Sure, but it will take longer
without the right tools.

Oh, why does this shit
keep happening to me?

Alright, Veej, get cracking.

What happened?

That happened.

Union thuggery.

Blocking the large intestine
of small business.

- What appalling behaviour.
- Isn't it?

I've got half a mind to get the
Royal Commission reopened,

but that's what the Left do, Celeste.

You challenge their point of view

and they just lash out like the
unarticulate savages they are.

But why won't they give you your chairs?

What is the strike actually about?

Oh, some shit about foreign workers
being exploited or something.

(GRUNTS)

Oh. I'm so sorry, Ray.

I'm not gay, and-and-and I
know I hurt Leslie's feelings.

I really didn't mean to,
and I'm not against it.

I'm absolutely not.

I mean, go for it, I
reckon, if you're into it.

- It's just not who I am.
- Yeah, Cody, it's fine.

You can't help the way you are,
although it would have been handy.

Yeah. Is Leslie alright?

I don't know.

- Has anyone here seen Leslie?
- I wish.

He's supposed to be redesigning
my Knock Knock range.

- Is he?
- Yeah.

Don wants to spread the jokes out.

So the knock knock bit
goes on this sheet,

and the answer goes
over all these sheets.

It's so smart. They're gonna
use so much more toilet paper.

But we're stuffed,

'cause Leslie's not here and we're
due at the Chinese printers at five.

- Right.
- It's super healthy. It's on trend.

Colonic irrigation.

So that you really get
Clay out of your system.

They're the number one colon
irrigators in the state,

so it's a prestige endorsement.

Just hang on a sec, Coco.

- Have you seen Leslie?
- Nope.

Leslie's gone. He's gone
home for the afternoon.

Oh, bloody hell.

Ah, good luck.

I've left him a bunch of messages
and he won't call me back.

Can I go home for the afternoon?

- Leslie wasn't feeling well.
- I'm not feeling well.

What's wrong with you?

What was wrong with him?

Hi, you've called Leslie.
Leave a message.

Kim, I'm heading home too.

This is fucked.

_

(STOMACH RUMBLES AND GURGLES)

Well, I'm not standing for this.

What are you doing?

Celeste?

Listen, they've just slashed
my tyres. Steady on.

- I'm not afraid of them, Don!
- Yeah, no, neither am I.

It's just that where are you
going to get four new tyres

this late in the day?

Excuse me! My name is Celeste and
I'm Don Angel's personal assistant.

Well, well, you selfish bullies.

It's all very well to be concerned

about the welfare of people overseas,

but how about having a look
around in your own backyard?

Hear, hear.

You haven't even considered

how your actions could be affecting
Don's personal life, have you?

He's always had difficulty forming
and maintaining relationships,

but this one with Bridget's been
going on for some months now.

Bridget's the one the chairs are for.

But now you're jeopardising
it. Are you happy?

In fact I think you've
probably ruined it

because the chairs are a sort of
metaphor for their relationship.

They're sort of stuck and can't advance

while the chairs are stuck
in one of your containers.

So why don't you get off
your moral high horse

and show some concern for this
fragile man's emotional wellbeing?

- (FARTS)
- (ALL LAUGH)

Oh, thanks for coming.

He won't come out of his room.

I can hear crying but
he won't answer me.

I think he really had his heart broken.

I just thought we could
be a united front.

- A united front?
- Mmm.

No, this is not a united front.

This is good old Mum
sorting your shit out

because you are clearly
out of your depth.

Welcome to being a parent,
an actual parent,

instead of a politically
correct yes man.

A slightly harsher interpretation
than I would have put on it,

but the siege continues.

Leslie?

Leslie, come on. Come
and talk to us. Please?

The sooner you come out the
sooner we can help you.

Whatever you've done it
can't be as big a fuck-up

as I made of our family.

Aww.

Can't believe I didn't think of that.

So, how big are the billboards gonna be?

Like, billboard size.

- Babe, I am so proud of you.
- You too.

Excuse me?

Are you guys getting back together?

No. No, definitely not.

Um, but you look you look really happy.

We do?

We're not happy.

We're just here because we're
splitting up our stuff.

'Cause he wants the Sonos and the
Dyson, which is really unfair

because they were gifted to me.

Um, so yeah, it's been,
like, really painful.

So you, like, you really did sleep
with your personal trainer?

- No.
- Yes. He did.

He slept with her for six months.

- You are such a prick.
- Yeah.

What can I say, you know? She's hot.

Have you seen her butt pics on Insta?

Well, I'm only human!

- So, tell me, what happened?
- I don't know.

We were getting along amazingly,
and we had this real connection.

And then he was like, "I'm not gay,"
and I was like, "Neither am I."

What do you mean? Of course you
are. You're a man. He's a man.

That is quite gay.

But I've always liked boys.

- And now you're a boy, so...
- You can't have it both ways.

Although maybe you can. I'm not
quite sure how it all works.

But I don't identify as gay.

Why do we need these labels anyway?

Are you serious? You're
the queen of labels.

King.

There we go.

And God help me if I
use the wrong pronoun.

Boy or girl, I'm still the same person.

Yes, you are the same person,

who always races into
things impetuously,

like a relationship with a straight man.

Or having your uterus removed.

That is so far down the track and maybe.

What does it matter?

I'll still be your child.

Uterus or no uterus, I
still came out of yours.

But why do you want to tamper
with the way you were made?

The way I was made by you.

This isn't about you, it's about me.

Oh Leslie, please don't go.

"Difficulty forming and
maintaining relationships?"

Well?

Well, for one thing, horseshit.

I've had millions of relationships,
so that makes me an expert.

For another thing, you're
talking to unionists,

not clinical psychologists.

And for an even other thing,
what happened to my privacy?

How would you like it if I said,
"Oh, don't listen to her.

"She's got a drinking problem."

But I don't have a drinking problem.

And I don't have a problem
with my top shelf love-life.

What I import into this country

has very little to do with
what I export into Bridget.

Any other insights into
my psyche, Sigrid Freud?

Well...

..I think you're scared of commitment.

Oh, here we go. That old chestnut.

Haven't I committed to this
extra-marital affair with Bridget?

Yes, because she's married
and unavailable to commit.

(KNOCK ON WINDOW)

Strike's over. You can have your chairs.

There is a $365 handling fee.

- Is there?
- Mmm.

Good on you for, ah, sticking
to your principles, though.

Good luck with your emotional wellbeing.

Alright, you want commitment?

- (PUTS PHONE ON SPEAKER)
- Let's have commitment.

- Have you got good news for me?
- Sure have.

I am ready to commit, babe. To you.

Enough of this cloak and dagger.

Get your cloak off and stick the
dagger in Dirty Darren's back.

How about we take this
thing to the next level

and just move in together.

This weekend.

Big news, hey babe?

Where are my bloody chairs, Don?

Your chairs?

Not available.

- Oh, Don!
- OK.

- Ohh!
- Yep.

Leslie normally does Deliveroo,
but I'm sure these still work.

Maybe I should go.

No, we can lure him back in
with pizza, finish talking.

- LESLIE: I'm going out.
- (DOOR SLAMS)

OK, well another night, then.

Yvonne, are you OK?

I don't know why this keeps happening.

I can't talk to her, him,
without one of us exploding.

Ah, well...

Sorry.

It's OK.

I'm-I'm so unhappy.

Things will get better. There's
no guidebook for any of this.

We're all just bumbling our way through.

Particularly you.

Particularly me.

Do you mind if I move
my chair in closer?

Do you mind if I stay the night?

I haven't got any condoms.

You idiot, I haven't got any eggs.

(BOTH LAUGH)

- Synced & Corrected by Dragoniod -
www.addic7ed.com

What do you mean, call an Uber?

Because I'm not dropping you at
your personal trainer's house.

- Why would I go to her house?
- Because she's tight. And fit.

You're the one that said
that I slept with her.

- What was I meant to say?
- I don't know.

Not, "Have you seen her
butt shots on Insta?"

Are you fucking kidding me?

Babe, open the door.

We should never have
gotten back together.

Coco. Coco! Coco!

No, I want the Dyson!

It was me who got that on contra!

Hey, Clay. Quick selfie?

Yeah, sure buddy.

What's going on?
Are you guys talking about me?

- Yes.
- No.

You and me, we're done.

You do not throw away the type
of sex we're having in your shop

just like that.

A claim against the Angel
Family Trust brought by...

That little fucker.

The ATO is telling me I have to come
to a mediation between you and Alex.

It was never your money,
mate. You didn't earn it.

I did and I hid it according to the law.

Oh, Ray! Sam is drunk, although
Ashley's saying she's munted.

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