Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,074
Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
2
00:00:05,294 --> 00:00:07,927
You look great in that hat,
darling. Very festive.
3
00:00:10,418 --> 00:00:13,105
I'm sorry. You didn't buy that,
did you?
4
00:00:13,106 --> 00:00:15,616
You look like you're wearing
a giant, red, woolly condom.
5
00:00:15,617 --> 00:00:17,527
Please do not wear that
to my Christmas party.
6
00:00:17,528 --> 00:00:19,503
Hey, I am adorable
in this thing.
7
00:00:19,504 --> 00:00:21,856
And also, I can't make it
to your Christmas party.
8
00:00:21,890 --> 00:00:23,140
I'm sorry.
9
00:00:23,174 --> 00:00:26,409
Terry, please tell me that this is one
of your jokes I don't understand.
10
00:00:26,410 --> 00:00:29,413
It's just, the last few Christmases
haven't been so great for Danny.
11
00:00:29,431 --> 00:00:32,048
Anyway, that is all
going to change this year.
12
00:00:32,060 --> 00:00:33,912
I am gonna blow
Danny's Christmas mind.
13
00:00:33,946 --> 00:00:35,964
We're gonna do everything
the way my mom did for me...
14
00:00:35,998 --> 00:00:38,550
Turkey, carols,
Christmas movies.
15
00:00:40,233 --> 00:00:41,714
Strike 2!
16
00:00:41,715 --> 00:00:44,500
So, what are you getting
your mom for Christmas?
17
00:00:44,598 --> 00:00:46,113
Maybe bangs...?
18
00:00:46,241 --> 00:00:48,376
Wait. No. That would be
more a gift for me.
19
00:00:48,394 --> 00:00:50,645
I want to get my mom
the perfect gift.
20
00:00:56,618 --> 00:00:58,670
Batter's out!
That's game!
21
00:00:58,721 --> 00:01:01,556
- It was a foul!
- Hey, dingus!
22
00:01:01,590 --> 00:01:03,041
How many times
I got to tell ya?
23
00:01:03,042 --> 00:01:04,824
If ya bunt the ball
with two strikes on ya
24
00:01:04,825 --> 00:01:07,428
and it's not in play,
you're out, ya dingus!
25
00:01:07,446 --> 00:01:11,032
- Yay! Double dingus!
- Yay! Double dingus!
26
00:01:11,810 --> 00:01:14,121
Hey, here's the updated
Christmas tournament sched...
27
00:01:14,122 --> 00:01:16,437
- Shorts.
- Oh, we're playing on Christmas day?
28
00:01:16,438 --> 00:01:19,205
- Terribly inconvenient, I know, but...
- No! No, this is perfect!
29
00:01:19,231 --> 00:01:20,724
I love Christmas
games!
30
00:01:20,725 --> 00:01:24,012
Then our little baseball family can
have a great Christmas together.
31
00:01:24,046 --> 00:01:26,205
Who the heck plays baseball
on Christmas?
32
00:01:26,206 --> 00:01:28,758
Uh, losers do...
In Southern California.
33
00:01:28,759 --> 00:01:31,085
- They are not losers!
- Yes, we are.
34
00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:35,440
- We haven't scored a single run all year.
- Face it, coach... We're a joke.
35
00:01:35,474 --> 00:01:39,433
You guys, I used to love playing
on Christmas when I was a kid.
36
00:01:39,434 --> 00:01:42,787
Hey, you get up, you open presents,
then you go to the field.
37
00:01:42,788 --> 00:01:45,973
The Cannon would coach, my mom would
make hot chocolate... It's the best!
38
00:01:45,974 --> 00:01:48,509
Or you could just forfeit and give
the rest of the league the day off.
39
00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:49,894
Forfeit!
40
00:01:52,063 --> 00:01:54,953
- Forfeit!
- Stop yelling "Forfeit"!
41
00:01:54,954 --> 00:01:57,034
Come on, you guys.
We are not quitters.
42
00:01:57,035 --> 00:01:59,002
What have I been saying
to you all year?
43
00:01:59,021 --> 00:02:01,805
Don't let you forget to pay
your cellphone bill on the 21st?
44
00:02:01,823 --> 00:02:03,908
Yes! Thank you.
45
00:02:03,942 --> 00:02:05,643
Also, never give up, okay?
46
00:02:05,677 --> 00:02:09,747
Winning... it takes hard work,
grit, determination.
47
00:02:09,781 --> 00:02:12,072
Now raise your hand
if you're still a quitter.
48
00:02:12,393 --> 00:02:14,411
Danny, don't even think
about raising your hand.
49
00:02:14,412 --> 00:02:17,538
Well, look at that. Majority
rules, so it is a forfeit.
50
00:02:20,242 --> 00:02:22,626
- Come on, you guys! Come on!
- Good job. Well done.
51
00:02:22,627 --> 00:02:25,649
We're the Angles!
We stick together!
52
00:02:33,934 --> 00:02:36,934
Season 1, Episode 10
"I'll Slide Home for Christmas"
53
00:02:36,935 --> 00:02:39,935
Synced by Reef
www.addic7ed.com
54
00:02:41,267 --> 00:02:43,869
Mom, I'm sorry the team voted
to forfeit on you.
55
00:02:43,870 --> 00:02:47,604
Oh, that's okay, buddy. We are still
going to have an amazing Christmas.
56
00:02:49,104 --> 00:02:51,639
This is my favorite
holiday jam!
57
00:02:51,690 --> 00:02:53,441
♪ Feliz navidad
58
00:02:53,475 --> 00:02:55,142
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba
59
00:02:55,193 --> 00:02:56,644
Okay, let's talk
Christmas morning.
60
00:02:56,645 --> 00:02:59,814
So, I am thinking, uh,
"It's a Wonderful Life" marathon,
61
00:02:59,865 --> 00:03:02,616
pajamas all day,
eating cookie dough, huh?
62
00:03:02,651 --> 00:03:04,735
That's what I did with my mom
and Cannon when I was a kid,
63
00:03:04,769 --> 00:03:06,821
and that is exactly
what we are gonna do, buddy.
64
00:03:06,872 --> 00:03:08,772
And, of course,
opening presents.
65
00:03:08,790 --> 00:03:12,776
Now, if you could have one gift
under $37, it would be...?
66
00:03:12,794 --> 00:03:14,294
You don't have to
get me anything.
67
00:03:14,296 --> 00:03:16,797
I just want us to have
the perfect family Christmas.
68
00:03:16,832 --> 00:03:19,154
You know, you're kind of obsessing
over the holidays this year.
69
00:03:19,155 --> 00:03:21,474
Hey, I obsess about things
that are important to us.
70
00:03:22,337 --> 00:03:24,421
- Merry Christmas!
- Lifelike Santa!
71
00:03:24,455 --> 00:03:25,923
- Ho ho ho!
- It's the last one!
72
00:03:25,957 --> 00:03:28,342
Merry Christmas!
73
00:03:28,393 --> 00:03:31,428
What?
This is important to us.
74
00:03:40,004 --> 00:03:42,189
Merry Christmas!
75
00:03:43,474 --> 00:03:45,976
Merry Christmas!
76
00:03:47,662 --> 00:03:49,864
Happy Holidays!
77
00:03:49,915 --> 00:03:52,316
Ho ho ho! Merry...
78
00:03:55,653 --> 00:03:57,487
- Merry Christma...
- Dad! Stop!
79
00:03:57,506 --> 00:03:59,643
- ♪ Merry christma... ♪
- I'm killing something!
80
00:04:00,992 --> 00:04:03,579
You killed lifelike Santa!
81
00:04:03,580 --> 00:04:05,665
W-what are you doing creeping around
the house in the middle of the night?
82
00:04:05,666 --> 00:04:08,096
Dad, it's 8:15.
I was out in the garage.
83
00:04:08,097 --> 00:04:11,400
I found some of mom's old Christmas
decorations and I wanted to put 'em up.
84
00:04:11,423 --> 00:04:13,275
Put them back.
It's not happening.
85
00:04:13,309 --> 00:04:16,111
My buddies and I, we, uh,
we don't do decorations, okay?
86
00:04:16,162 --> 00:04:19,364
- Your boys?
- Uh, Earl, Louie, Stinky Pete.
87
00:04:19,398 --> 00:04:23,301
Oh, wow. You still do
that stupid poker game.
88
00:04:23,302 --> 00:04:24,759
Hey, and Stinky Pete?
89
00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:27,138
The one who stole my bicycle
and then used it for drug money?
90
00:04:27,172 --> 00:04:29,335
Hey, Christmas is
about forgiveness, right?
91
00:04:29,336 --> 00:04:32,095
No. No. It is about
spending time with your family.
92
00:04:32,096 --> 00:04:33,296
Really?
93
00:04:33,312 --> 00:04:36,337
Well, then how come I haven't seen you one
Christmas since the time you moved out?
94
00:04:36,338 --> 00:04:38,316
Dad, we invited you to spend
Christmas with us every year.
95
00:04:38,334 --> 00:04:39,618
Yeah, right...
That was with you, Donny,
96
00:04:39,652 --> 00:04:41,703
and that geek of a husband
that you had there.
97
00:04:41,704 --> 00:04:44,937
- That's an automatic "never."
- What happened to you?
98
00:04:44,938 --> 00:04:48,310
You know, when mom was alive, you woke
me up at 6:00 A.M. to open presents.
99
00:04:48,344 --> 00:04:50,428
Yeah, well...
That was a long time ago.
100
00:04:50,462 --> 00:04:53,515
Yeah, well, I want Danny to have
a perfect Christmas,
101
00:04:53,566 --> 00:04:57,819
so just cancel your little poker night
and enjoy it with your family.
102
00:04:57,853 --> 00:05:00,062
I'm the only family
that they have.
103
00:05:00,070 --> 00:05:02,324
And they will miss this
terribly. They love it.
104
00:05:02,358 --> 00:05:04,442
Well, I don't want to spend it
with a bunch of strangers.
105
00:05:04,476 --> 00:05:08,330
They are not strangers. They're
my friends, and are playing poker.
106
00:05:08,364 --> 00:05:11,286
No, we are
having Christmas.
107
00:05:28,382 --> 00:05:31,284
- Really, dad?
- Yeah, really.
108
00:05:32,519 --> 00:05:34,784
This whole perfect-Christmas
thing is really coming together.
109
00:05:34,805 --> 00:05:37,030
Danny! Why don't you come
help me decorate the tree?
110
00:05:37,031 --> 00:05:39,682
Or you can come over here
and stick your entire face
111
00:05:39,717 --> 00:05:41,507
right under
this cheese nozzle.
112
00:05:42,841 --> 00:05:44,287
Come in!
113
00:05:48,696 --> 00:05:51,498
It's beginning to look
a lot like not-Christmas.
114
00:05:51,549 --> 00:05:55,606
Oh, Terry, this is, uh, Noel,
and... and this is Noel.
115
00:05:55,607 --> 00:05:57,288
- Hi.
- That's... That's the first Noel.
116
00:05:57,289 --> 00:05:58,572
See, they're sisters.
117
00:05:58,579 --> 00:06:00,046
Where should we set up
our North Pole?
118
00:06:00,064 --> 00:06:03,283
- Really, dad? Strippers?
- They are not strippers.
119
00:06:03,317 --> 00:06:04,980
They dance
just a little bit.
120
00:06:04,981 --> 00:06:07,737
Mm. Yeah. Well, get them out of here,
okay? This is insane.
121
00:06:07,738 --> 00:06:08,855
They're going nowhere.
122
00:06:08,856 --> 00:06:10,287
Where should we set up
our ping-pong balls?
123
00:06:10,295 --> 00:06:12,392
- Oh, wow.
- I can do this all day long.
124
00:06:12,426 --> 00:06:16,363
You know what, Danny? How about we get out
of here for some holiday spirit, okay?
125
00:06:16,397 --> 00:06:19,231
And your grandfather here
can just go "scrooge" himself.
126
00:06:22,787 --> 00:06:24,225
Hey, ladies.
127
00:06:26,474 --> 00:06:28,008
No, mom. Wait.
No, I wasn't...
128
00:06:28,042 --> 00:06:31,955
Ho ho ho ho!
Ho ho ho ho ho!
129
00:06:32,820 --> 00:06:35,366
Mom, I really don't need
a picture with Santa, okay?
130
00:06:35,383 --> 00:06:38,468
I mean, look around. I'm a dinosaur
compared to these kids.
131
00:06:38,519 --> 00:06:40,070
Oh, just humor me, buddy.
132
00:06:40,514 --> 00:06:44,282
Santa's got to feed the reindeer,
so we'll be back in a while, folks.
133
00:06:44,792 --> 00:06:46,776
What?
What reindeer?
134
00:06:46,811 --> 00:06:49,496
Nuh-uh! Elf! Elf, get back...
Elf!
135
00:06:49,530 --> 00:06:50,730
Move.
136
00:06:51,832 --> 00:06:54,301
Hi. Excuse me,
uh, Mr. Claus.
137
00:06:54,335 --> 00:06:57,037
Could we trouble you for
just one more picture, please?
138
00:06:57,071 --> 00:06:58,771
In a little bit, hon.
139
00:06:58,789 --> 00:07:01,174
I'm going on my break.
I should get something to eat.
140
00:07:01,208 --> 00:07:03,276
So should the reindeer.
141
00:07:03,311 --> 00:07:06,012
What reindeer?!
There are no reindeer.
142
00:07:06,030 --> 00:07:08,748
Please? I mean, we've been
waiting here for over an hour,
143
00:07:08,783 --> 00:07:12,802
and it would... just mean the world
to the... That little boy right there.
144
00:07:12,853 --> 00:07:14,604
All right.
145
00:07:14,605 --> 00:07:15,891
- Really?
- Yes.
146
00:07:15,892 --> 00:07:17,536
Okay. Okay!
Danny, yeah! Come on!
147
00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:20,827
Ho ho ho.
148
00:07:20,845 --> 00:07:23,129
Yeah.
Okay, get on up there.
149
00:07:24,699 --> 00:07:28,334
So, what would you li...
Like f...
150
00:07:29,553 --> 00:07:31,805
Santa's going down.
151
00:07:35,426 --> 00:07:37,410
Oh! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
What is wrong with him?
152
00:07:37,428 --> 00:07:40,196
He said he needed something to eat.
He's a diabetic!
153
00:07:40,231 --> 00:07:42,782
Way to go, mom.
You killed Santa.
154
00:07:46,137 --> 00:07:48,621
- Didn't you park there?
- Oh, no.
155
00:07:48,656 --> 00:07:50,457
Oh, no, no, no!
No, no!
156
00:07:50,491 --> 00:07:53,043
No! No, no, no, no!
That's my car!
157
00:07:53,094 --> 00:07:55,879
There are presents!
In the trunk!
158
00:07:57,448 --> 00:07:58,648
Come in!
159
00:08:00,197 --> 00:08:01,573
Hello?
160
00:08:03,187 --> 00:08:06,039
If it ain't the three wise men...
Except you're all dumbasses.
161
00:08:06,073 --> 00:08:10,977
That joke never gets old... Unlike you,
you wrinkly old bastard! Get over here!
162
00:08:12,296 --> 00:08:15,131
- Where are the...
- Hey, boys!
163
00:08:15,132 --> 00:08:17,431
Should we get this party started
or what?
164
00:08:17,851 --> 00:08:20,453
In all seriousness,
thank you.
165
00:08:20,488 --> 00:08:23,356
You know how much we look
forward to this every year.
166
00:08:26,193 --> 00:08:27,794
Why won't my phone
work?
167
00:08:27,828 --> 00:08:30,864
Because you forgot
to pay the bill on the 21st.
168
00:08:30,898 --> 00:08:32,615
Right.
169
00:08:32,666 --> 00:08:35,635
Right. So, the tow yard
isn't open till the 26th.
170
00:08:35,669 --> 00:08:37,153
Christmas is
just delayed.
171
00:08:37,188 --> 00:08:40,407
Mom, you really have to lose
this idea of a perfect Christmas.
172
00:08:40,408 --> 00:08:44,361
- Okay? It's obviously not gonna happen.
- Hey! It is going to happen!
173
00:08:44,362 --> 00:08:47,047
You are gonna have a real
Christmas, even if it kills me.
174
00:08:47,081 --> 00:08:50,016
- Christmas can suck it.
- Sir, mind your own business.
175
00:08:50,051 --> 00:08:51,468
I'm a girl.
176
00:08:53,921 --> 00:08:55,772
Cool.
177
00:08:59,909 --> 00:09:01,243
Louie, ante up.
178
00:09:01,851 --> 00:09:03,496
Ante up,
or I'm gonna tell the girls
179
00:09:03,531 --> 00:09:06,883
that the stuff on your head
is a preview to what's on your back.
180
00:09:06,917 --> 00:09:08,268
I'm out of this one.
181
00:09:08,302 --> 00:09:11,871
I'm not gonna shave.
I got nobody to impress no more.
182
00:09:11,889 --> 00:09:13,339
And what about you,
Cannon?
183
00:09:13,357 --> 00:09:15,825
You daughter still up in Michigan
with that deadbeat?
184
00:09:15,876 --> 00:09:19,110
- Um... no, she's got her own life now.
- Yeah, I know what you mean.
185
00:09:19,244 --> 00:09:22,152
My son's down in Florida.
We haven't talked in years.
186
00:09:22,153 --> 00:09:26,245
I'll tell you, though, they
shouldn't allow him to carry a gun.
187
00:09:26,246 --> 00:09:27,897
Yeah, this is fun.
188
00:09:32,566 --> 00:09:35,528
Seriously...
I got nothin'.
189
00:09:35,711 --> 00:09:37,878
At least
we got each other.
190
00:09:38,347 --> 00:09:39,651
Yeah.
191
00:09:47,072 --> 00:09:49,173
Oh! Terry!
Terry, darling!
192
00:09:49,192 --> 00:09:51,377
There you are.
What took you so long?
193
00:09:51,412 --> 00:09:53,296
Well, you see, there were
strippers at our house,
194
00:09:53,330 --> 00:09:56,366
mom might have killed Santa,
they towed our car, and...
195
00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:58,118
And a partridge in a pear tree.
Fabulous, darling.
196
00:09:58,152 --> 00:10:01,587
Why don't you go and join Michael over by
the gingerbread station with the others?
197
00:10:01,605 --> 00:10:03,440
- All right.
- Just 'round there.
198
00:10:03,474 --> 00:10:05,825
- Oh, Lulu.
- Hmm?
199
00:10:05,860 --> 00:10:08,862
Your house is so...
Festive and...
200
00:10:08,896 --> 00:10:12,282
- Perfect.
- Well, of course it is, darling. It's moi.
201
00:10:12,316 --> 00:10:14,534
I don't know what we would have
done if you hadn't taken us in.
202
00:10:14,552 --> 00:10:16,085
Oh, good God, Terry.
Are you all right?
203
00:10:16,086 --> 00:10:17,703
Well, this Christmas
has been a disaster so far.
204
00:10:17,704 --> 00:10:19,856
But here... here is where
it's gonna turn all around.
205
00:10:19,857 --> 00:10:21,741
I really want it to.
It has to.
206
00:10:21,775 --> 00:10:23,843
It better, because, Lulu,
I am hanging on by a thread,
207
00:10:23,878 --> 00:10:25,378
and I cannot afford
a therapist.
208
00:10:27,918 --> 00:10:31,138
Christmas is tomorrow, and I still
have no idea what to get my mom.
209
00:10:31,151 --> 00:10:33,219
I'm totally screwed.
210
00:10:33,253 --> 00:10:36,689
- I have three kidneys.
- Okay. Thank you for that.
211
00:10:38,342 --> 00:10:41,209
I just want to give her
the perfect Christmas gift.
212
00:10:44,348 --> 00:10:46,799
What? The heads
are the best part.
213
00:10:49,646 --> 00:10:55,334
♪ Christ the Savior is
214
00:10:55,643 --> 00:10:59,144
♪ Bo-o-o-o-o-o-o...
215
00:10:59,167 --> 00:11:00,546
Great. Great.
216
00:11:00,564 --> 00:11:02,265
♪ ...o-o-rn-uh!
217
00:11:03,667 --> 00:11:05,089
- Wonderful. Wonderful.
- Thank you all very much.
218
00:11:05,090 --> 00:11:06,436
- Thank you.
- Thank you very much.
219
00:11:06,470 --> 00:11:08,152
Thank you! Thank you!
Thank you, Dick!
220
00:11:08,155 --> 00:11:12,692
Who knew the man with the heart
of a devil could sing like a....
221
00:11:12,710 --> 00:11:14,191
- Angel?
- Thank you.
222
00:11:14,192 --> 00:11:17,137
Dick. Who's next?
Very exciting, hmm?
223
00:11:17,698 --> 00:11:19,205
Oh, it's Terry!
224
00:11:19,206 --> 00:11:21,457
Come up here, Terry. Great.
225
00:11:21,475 --> 00:11:23,822
Let's hear it for Terry,
ladies and gentlemen.
226
00:11:23,823 --> 00:11:25,244
- You go for it, darling.
- Thank you.
227
00:11:25,278 --> 00:11:27,492
- Come on. Off you go.
- Yep.
228
00:11:28,715 --> 00:11:30,650
Uh, ok...
Oh. Uh...
229
00:11:30,684 --> 00:11:32,457
Yeah, um,
this isn't the right song.
230
00:11:32,458 --> 00:11:35,404
I requested "Feliz Navidad."
231
00:11:35,439 --> 00:11:38,507
- We don't have it.
- What do you mean you don't...
232
00:11:38,525 --> 00:11:40,976
That's, like, the best blind
Christmas song of all time.
233
00:11:40,994 --> 00:11:42,644
My mom and I would crank it up
on the radio
234
00:11:42,663 --> 00:11:44,279
and sing it
at the top of our lungs.
235
00:11:44,297 --> 00:11:47,433
I don't know what to tell you.
Go find your mom. Sing it with her.
236
00:11:47,467 --> 00:11:49,394
My mom is dead.
237
00:11:49,986 --> 00:11:51,520
Oh, here we go.
238
00:11:54,558 --> 00:11:56,042
Well, this is just perfect.
239
00:11:56,093 --> 00:11:59,095
I have no feliz left...
240
00:11:59,129 --> 00:12:01,430
And zero Navidad.
241
00:12:01,448 --> 00:12:05,266
Oh, boy. This has been building
ever since she almost killed Santa.
242
00:12:05,267 --> 00:12:09,038
I am obsessed
with a holiday that hates me.
243
00:12:09,072 --> 00:12:11,205
We are sworn enemies.
We're like Kirk and Khan.
244
00:12:11,206 --> 00:12:14,303
- Nerd!
- Hey! Hey! My dad...
245
00:12:14,745 --> 00:12:17,113
Who would rather spend Christmas
with strippers
246
00:12:17,147 --> 00:12:20,166
than his own daughter,
made me watch "Star Trek," okay?
247
00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:24,754
I am obsessed with having
the perfect family Christmas.
248
00:12:24,788 --> 00:12:28,991
I am obsessed with rebuilding
a relationship with my stupid father.
249
00:12:29,009 --> 00:12:32,211
I am obsessed
with coaching a baseball team
250
00:12:32,262 --> 00:12:34,330
that doesn't want
to play baseball.
251
00:12:34,343 --> 00:12:36,761
You know those... those kids?
Do you see all those kids?
252
00:12:36,796 --> 00:12:40,594
Yeah, they all have
the right attitude... quitting!
253
00:12:40,681 --> 00:12:43,399
So simple. So easy.
254
00:12:43,434 --> 00:12:45,602
So what I should have been
doing.
255
00:12:46,028 --> 00:12:47,778
So, you know what, team?
256
00:12:47,779 --> 00:12:51,074
I am on board
with the "I can't do" attitude.
257
00:12:51,108 --> 00:12:54,277
Okay? Yeah. There.
So let's all quit.
258
00:12:54,328 --> 00:12:57,563
How's that?
Let's all quit.
259
00:12:57,581 --> 00:13:01,012
Let's forfeit Christmas.
260
00:13:01,234 --> 00:13:03,069
Peace.
261
00:13:09,310 --> 00:13:11,918
I-I finally know what to get
my mom for Christmas.
262
00:13:14,316 --> 00:13:15,978
Flawless bed head.
263
00:13:16,013 --> 00:13:18,459
Mom. Wake up.
264
00:13:22,867 --> 00:13:24,067
What's going on?
265
00:13:24,085 --> 00:13:26,458
We're not quitters. Okay?
And neither are you.
266
00:13:26,459 --> 00:13:29,807
We're gonna play today,
and we're gonna win for you.
267
00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:31,685
Merry Christmas.
268
00:13:35,684 --> 00:13:38,453
You are the best, buddy.
269
00:13:38,487 --> 00:13:39,983
I love you.
270
00:13:40,446 --> 00:13:42,061
I love you, too.
271
00:13:42,368 --> 00:13:44,265
But...
Please brush your teeth.
272
00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:47,173
Sorry.
273
00:13:47,174 --> 00:13:49,762
Okay! We are gonna
crush them today! I can feel it!
274
00:13:49,763 --> 00:13:51,647
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah!
275
00:13:56,588 --> 00:13:58,706
Phone,
text Mr. The Cannon.
276
00:14:01,831 --> 00:14:03,432
Raise.
277
00:14:03,466 --> 00:14:07,102
Looks like somebody's hooking up
with a broad of baby-making age.
278
00:14:07,136 --> 00:14:09,872
Spill it, Cannon.
Who you bunking with?
279
00:14:10,462 --> 00:14:14,076
My daughter and her son.
They... They moved in here.
280
00:14:14,077 --> 00:14:16,428
So... let's just play cards,
all right?
281
00:14:16,462 --> 00:14:19,114
Why didn't you tell us?
Why aren't they here?
282
00:14:19,115 --> 00:14:21,300
Look, for years, they wanted
nothing to do with me.
283
00:14:21,351 --> 00:14:24,176
I mean, now they just
waltz in here and make demands.
284
00:14:24,177 --> 00:14:26,934
This is our tradition right here.
We play cards,
285
00:14:26,935 --> 00:14:29,703
we drink a little beer,
we have fun with the Noels.
286
00:14:29,721 --> 00:14:30,755
That's what we do.
287
00:14:30,806 --> 00:14:33,458
Because we got nothing else,
you jackass!
288
00:14:33,492 --> 00:14:35,993
The reason
our Christmas tradition was born
289
00:14:36,044 --> 00:14:40,848
was because everyone we were related to
was either dead or didn't want us around.
290
00:14:40,882 --> 00:14:44,473
The only reason we're all here
is because we ain't got nobody.
291
00:14:44,474 --> 00:14:47,547
You got somebody...
Two somebodies.
292
00:14:56,940 --> 00:15:01,483
You know, you're the, uh,
smartest dumbasses I know.
293
00:15:01,586 --> 00:15:02,987
Anyway, I fold.
294
00:15:02,988 --> 00:15:05,840
- Where you going?
- We got a game.
295
00:15:12,347 --> 00:15:13,581
Mom.
296
00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:17,652
I'm sorry this is
such a crappy Christmas present.
297
00:15:17,686 --> 00:15:21,072
Are you kidding?
This is the best gift ever.
298
00:15:21,123 --> 00:15:23,090
It's Christmas
with my gang.
299
00:15:23,125 --> 00:15:24,942
It doesn't matter
if we win.
300
00:15:24,943 --> 00:15:27,762
The most important thing is
you didn't quit.
301
00:15:28,013 --> 00:15:30,148
I am so proud of you,
buddy.
302
00:15:33,919 --> 00:15:36,587
All right, guys.
Guys!
303
00:15:36,622 --> 00:15:38,789
Look, we're down by 21.
304
00:15:38,841 --> 00:15:41,175
We suck at this sport,
all right?
305
00:15:41,210 --> 00:15:44,812
We're probably not gonna
win this game or any game ever.
306
00:15:44,830 --> 00:15:48,583
But you know what we can do?
We can score a run, all right?
307
00:15:48,617 --> 00:15:52,770
Let's not go down in history
as the worst team in this league, okay?
308
00:15:52,804 --> 00:15:55,706
Let's score one run
this Christmas for us...
309
00:15:55,741 --> 00:15:58,926
- For my mom, all right?
- Now, let's do this!
310
00:15:58,961 --> 00:16:00,962
- Come on!
- Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
311
00:16:00,996 --> 00:16:02,531
All right, hands in.
312
00:16:03,241 --> 00:16:05,202
"Angles" on...
313
00:16:08,453 --> 00:16:09,954
Yeah!
314
00:16:10,005 --> 00:16:12,590
- "Angles" on me!
- "Angles" on three!
315
00:16:12,624 --> 00:16:16,010
One, two, three, Angles!
316
00:16:21,847 --> 00:16:23,425
You know, your mom...
317
00:16:23,426 --> 00:16:26,199
I mean, she loved this holiday,
uh, more than any other one.
318
00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:28,555
I mean, she'd start
planning Christmas in July,
319
00:16:28,574 --> 00:16:30,341
and it drove me
up a freaking wall.
320
00:16:30,375 --> 00:16:32,343
Yeah, she was
always wound a little tight.
321
00:16:32,377 --> 00:16:36,514
- Yeah. Well... You got that from her.
- Yeah.
322
00:16:36,565 --> 00:16:38,899
Yeah, that's where
I got it from.
323
00:16:38,917 --> 00:16:41,535
See, uh...
The holidays...
324
00:16:41,569 --> 00:16:44,255
They really got kind of hard
for me after she passed,
325
00:16:44,306 --> 00:16:47,575
and even more...
When you left.
326
00:16:47,609 --> 00:16:49,743
And, uh, these guys...
They, uh...
327
00:16:49,761 --> 00:16:51,529
They helped me out,
you know?
328
00:16:51,563 --> 00:16:55,833
So, all this time, I thought
I was keeping them alive,
329
00:16:55,867 --> 00:16:57,492
but in fact...
330
00:16:58,437 --> 00:17:01,015
They were keeping me alive
until you showed up.
331
00:17:02,105 --> 00:17:05,607
And so, uh...
I guess, if you take it,
332
00:17:05,860 --> 00:17:08,346
uh, that'd have to be
your job now.
333
00:17:09,865 --> 00:17:11,398
Yeah, I'll take it.
334
00:17:14,746 --> 00:17:17,042
Okay, let go.
Make sure no one sees us.
335
00:17:17,789 --> 00:17:19,523
Strike two!
336
00:17:26,048 --> 00:17:30,274
Ya never bunt with two strikes,
ya dingus.
337
00:17:30,275 --> 00:17:32,527
Oh, yeah? Watch this.
338
00:17:37,225 --> 00:17:39,860
N-o-o-o-o-o!
339
00:17:44,132 --> 00:17:46,000
Ru-u-u-n!
340
00:17:48,770 --> 00:17:49,970
Go-o-o-o!
341
00:18:24,539 --> 00:18:25,791
Safe!
342
00:18:28,710 --> 00:18:30,428
Whoo! Oh, my gosh!
343
00:18:31,763 --> 00:18:33,421
Hey, hey, hey!
344
00:18:33,686 --> 00:18:37,112
- Coach! We're in the middle of an inning!
- Shut up...
345
00:18:37,494 --> 00:18:39,495
All right!
That's ballgame!
346
00:18:39,513 --> 00:18:41,509
Yeah!
347
00:18:42,627 --> 00:18:44,548
- Terry, Terry.
- Let it fly, Dick.
348
00:18:44,549 --> 00:18:46,752
Nothing you can say could
possibly ruin this moment for me.
349
00:18:46,753 --> 00:18:49,421
No, look, I just wanted
to tell you I think it's great,
350
00:18:49,422 --> 00:18:51,241
you're teaching these kids
to never quit.
351
00:18:52,807 --> 00:18:53,807
Thanks.
352
00:18:53,818 --> 00:18:58,212
You're welcome. And, um, also,
I-I picked up your car at the impound.
353
00:18:58,780 --> 00:19:00,697
I own the lot, too,
so...
354
00:19:00,732 --> 00:19:03,450
The presents
are still inside.
355
00:19:05,119 --> 00:19:06,842
So...
356
00:19:07,281 --> 00:19:09,014
Merry Christmas,
Terry.
357
00:19:11,609 --> 00:19:12,743
Hey, good-looking.
358
00:19:12,777 --> 00:19:14,495
- Hey.
- What?
359
00:19:14,496 --> 00:19:18,468
This is the most imperfectly
perfect Christmas ever.
360
00:19:26,038 --> 00:19:27,438
Well...
361
00:19:27,456 --> 00:19:31,514
It looks like it's, uh,
just me and you, short stuff.
362
00:19:32,647 --> 00:19:34,193
I think you're bluffing.
363
00:19:35,743 --> 00:19:39,079
Bluff this, pops.
I'm all-in.
364
00:19:40,315 --> 00:19:44,835
And, uh, looks like you don't have
the canes or the chestnuts to cover it.
365
00:19:44,869 --> 00:19:46,553
Well, then...
366
00:19:48,039 --> 00:19:50,522
And, uh, how about
the dishes for a month?
367
00:19:51,776 --> 00:19:54,216
How about two months?
368
00:19:58,954 --> 00:20:00,154
Deal.
369
00:20:04,941 --> 00:20:07,398
Ace and ace, full boat.
370
00:20:07,423 --> 00:20:09,048
Send it!
371
00:20:10,229 --> 00:20:13,713
And to all...
Good night.
372
00:20:13,877 --> 00:20:16,877
Synced by Reef
www.addic7ed.com
373
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:20,126
Best watched using Open Subtitles MKV Player
374
00:20:20,176 --> 00:20:24,726
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
29404
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.