Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,503 --> 00:00:05,999
(gasp) Let me see your shoes.
Ohhh, there you go, you got it.
2
00:00:06,099 --> 00:00:08,467
Now, you just need to learn how
to be twice as good at everything
3
00:00:08,501 --> 00:00:11,136
for half the pay, and you
are on your way to womanhood.
4
00:00:12,472 --> 00:00:14,840
Oh, here you are.
5
00:00:14,874 --> 00:00:17,014
Wow! You guys look great.
6
00:00:17,114 --> 00:00:19,049
Oh, crap. Am I supposed
to look great, too?
7
00:00:19,083 --> 00:00:21,251
I can be ready for whatever I'm
not ready for in two minutes.
8
00:00:21,285 --> 00:00:24,120
Danny, Danny! This pregnant
girl is not going anywhere.
9
00:00:24,155 --> 00:00:27,257
We were just playing dress-up
because this might be my last month
10
00:00:27,291 --> 00:00:29,894
to wear any of my clothes
without them exploding.
11
00:00:29,994 --> 00:00:31,828
Sweetie, you look great.
12
00:00:31,863 --> 00:00:34,631
Remember, I fell in love
with you when you were chunky.
13
00:00:34,665 --> 00:00:36,196
Hon, I'm gonna fall out of love with
14
00:00:36,222 --> 00:00:37,793
you if you ever call me chunky again.
15
00:00:39,270 --> 00:00:40,370
(fabric ripping)
16
00:00:41,807 --> 00:00:45,910
I don't know how... but this can
be my fault if you want it to be.
17
00:00:45,944 --> 00:00:48,345
(crying) Thanks. I'd
like that very much.
18
00:00:51,016 --> 00:00:53,617
(theme music playing)
19
00:00:53,652 --> 00:00:56,620
It's amazing how the unexpected
20
00:00:56,655 --> 00:00:59,635
Can take your life
and change direction
21
00:00:59,735 --> 00:01:03,592
- Sync and corrected by TheDelta - - www.addic7ed.com -
22
00:01:03,895 --> 00:01:05,830
...And that's when Brad and I realized,
23
00:01:05,864 --> 00:01:08,532
"harder" is a horrible safe word.
24
00:01:13,805 --> 00:01:16,073
God, I miss drinking coffee alone.
25
00:01:17,976 --> 00:01:19,643
Oh, my God, you guys, guess what?
26
00:01:19,678 --> 00:01:20,811
Ooh, ooh, ooh!
27
00:01:20,846 --> 00:01:22,213
I don't care.
28
00:01:22,247 --> 00:01:24,415
Well, I don't care that you don't care,
29
00:01:24,449 --> 00:01:26,065
because I have just been nominated
30
00:01:26,165 --> 00:01:27,899
for a New York Entertainment Award!
31
00:01:27,934 --> 00:01:28,967
Oh, yeah!
32
00:01:29,001 --> 00:01:30,936
Oh-hoho-ho!
33
00:01:30,970 --> 00:01:34,439
- Ay, ay, okay, okay...
- Oh ah, uh-uh, oh, what...
34
00:01:34,474 --> 00:01:36,341
Get off, this is my happy dance!
35
00:01:36,375 --> 00:01:38,143
Mine!
36
00:01:38,177 --> 00:01:40,114
Did you get nominated
for watching television?
37
00:01:40,214 --> 00:01:42,515
'Cause that's all you've
done for the last month.
38
00:01:42,550 --> 00:01:44,250
No, I got nominated
39
00:01:44,285 --> 00:01:45,652
for the critically acclaimed
40
00:01:45,686 --> 00:01:46,820
Mother's Day special
41
00:01:46,854 --> 00:01:48,788
I produced for The Mary Hart Show,
42
00:01:48,823 --> 00:01:50,223
right before that ungrateful wig
43
00:01:50,257 --> 00:01:52,892
in spandex fired me.
44
00:01:52,927 --> 00:01:54,361
Who's laughin' now?
45
00:01:54,395 --> 00:01:55,895
Probably still her,
46
00:01:55,930 --> 00:01:57,063
since she's rich and powerful,
47
00:01:57,098 --> 00:01:59,567
and you've had macaroni
for three straight meals.
48
00:01:59,667 --> 00:02:00,867
Yeah, yeah-yeah... yeah,
49
00:02:00,901 --> 00:02:02,502
whatever, man, she could
laugh all she wants,
50
00:02:02,536 --> 00:02:03,703
because once the news gets out
51
00:02:03,738 --> 00:02:04,971
that I was nominated,
52
00:02:05,006 --> 00:02:07,273
the job offers, they're
just gonna start flyin' in.
53
00:02:07,308 --> 00:02:09,342
People will literally be all over me.
54
00:02:09,377 --> 00:02:12,145
Oh, my God, Tucker, we
are gonna have so much fun!
55
00:02:12,179 --> 00:02:14,314
First of all, you are not invited,
56
00:02:14,348 --> 00:02:16,850
and second of all, I think
I just lost my gum in there.
57
00:02:16,884 --> 00:02:18,485
What, again?
58
00:02:18,519 --> 00:02:20,020
Hey, here's a little thought-ski...
59
00:02:20,054 --> 00:02:21,688
since you're nominated
for a Mother's Day special,
60
00:02:21,722 --> 00:02:23,890
why don't you invite your mom?
61
00:02:23,924 --> 00:02:26,226
My mom?
62
00:02:26,260 --> 00:02:29,529
If she had any human parts
that registered emotion,
63
00:02:29,563 --> 00:02:31,731
I'd say yes, but I
pretty much struck out
64
00:02:31,766 --> 00:02:33,733
in the warm and loving
parents department.
65
00:02:33,768 --> 00:02:37,070
Oh. Well not everybody
can be as lucky as Ben.
66
00:02:39,173 --> 00:02:40,607
You never know, man.
67
00:02:40,641 --> 00:02:42,809
This is important.
It's your first award.
68
00:02:42,843 --> 00:02:45,011
I guess I can call her.
69
00:02:45,046 --> 00:02:46,112
Hey, but can I borrow your phone,
70
00:02:46,147 --> 00:02:48,982
'cause she doesn't pick up when I call.
71
00:02:49,016 --> 00:02:51,117
Thanks, man.
72
00:02:51,152 --> 00:02:54,187
Oh! "Why don't you call your mom?"
73
00:02:54,221 --> 00:02:56,856
Why don't you invite
your mouth to shut up?
74
00:02:58,025 --> 00:02:59,789
God, I miss drinking coffee alone.
75
00:03:02,230 --> 00:03:03,997
How did this happen?
76
00:03:04,032 --> 00:03:07,367
Well... I think it started
with you takin' off my shirt,
77
00:03:07,402 --> 00:03:09,036
and then I took off your shirt...
78
00:03:09,070 --> 00:03:10,837
No...
79
00:03:12,340 --> 00:03:15,275
this. I mean, how... how
am I this big already?
80
00:03:15,310 --> 00:03:18,064
Honey, you look adorable,
you finally popped.
81
00:03:18,164 --> 00:03:20,331
Huh, yeah, I popped all
right, you wanna know why?
82
00:03:20,366 --> 00:03:22,427
Because a giant impregnated me.
83
00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:28,607
A giant who I love very much.
84
00:03:28,641 --> 00:03:30,845
But everyone at work is
gonna know that I'm pregnant.
85
00:03:30,945 --> 00:03:32,012
You haven't told them yet?
86
00:03:32,046 --> 00:03:34,447
Are you ashamed of our baby?
87
00:03:34,482 --> 00:03:36,149
Shouldn't you see it first?
88
00:03:37,351 --> 00:03:39,552
No, well, no one at work
knows, because if they find out,
89
00:03:39,587 --> 00:03:41,354
they'll never make me junior partner.
90
00:03:41,389 --> 00:03:43,256
You know, they won't
see a brilliant lawyer,
91
00:03:43,291 --> 00:03:45,458
they'll see a flabby
bundle of maternity leave.
92
00:03:45,493 --> 00:03:47,803
I was really hoping they
would've made a decision by now.
93
00:03:48,029 --> 00:03:49,896
Well, then you need to make them decide.
94
00:03:49,931 --> 00:03:51,960
Go in there and refuse to
take no for an answer...
95
00:03:52,100 --> 00:03:54,468
like I do.
96
00:03:54,502 --> 00:03:57,184
For the last time, we are
not naming our kid Maverick.
97
00:03:58,540 --> 00:03:59,908
But you know what, you're right.
You're right. (elevator dings)
98
00:04:00,008 --> 00:04:01,242
I'm going to make it happen.
99
00:04:01,276 --> 00:04:02,777
Thank you.
100
00:04:03,466 --> 00:04:04,967
Oh, uh, don't forget your lunch.
101
00:04:05,001 --> 00:04:07,219
No salsa, carrots or cole slaw involved.
102
00:04:07,319 --> 00:04:09,253
I got a pregnancy barf list goin'.
103
00:04:10,555 --> 00:04:13,523
Oh, my God... oh God, you might
wanna add tuna to that list!
104
00:04:13,892 --> 00:04:16,060
- This could be my fault, too.
- It is!
105
00:04:19,064 --> 00:04:19,886
No, I... I get it, Mom.
106
00:04:19,986 --> 00:04:22,888
Yeah. Y... You're a doctor, you're busy.
107
00:04:23,957 --> 00:04:26,925
Yes, we can count this
as my birthday call.
108
00:04:30,096 --> 00:04:31,530
Seriously, what kind
of mother doesn't wanna
109
00:04:31,564 --> 00:04:33,239
be part of one of their
son's proudest moments?
110
00:04:33,339 --> 00:04:35,807
Ucch! Let it go! Okay?
111
00:04:35,841 --> 00:04:39,077
Nobody thought you were gonna
graduate, so I made plans.
112
00:04:40,245 --> 00:04:42,246
Not me, Tucker!
113
00:04:42,281 --> 00:04:43,735
And you were at my graduation.
114
00:04:43,835 --> 00:04:46,036
I think you might have
a drinking problem.
115
00:04:48,606 --> 00:04:50,474
Okay, Mom. Yeah, no, it's... it's fine.
116
00:04:50,508 --> 00:04:51,875
I'll talk to you later.
117
00:04:54,412 --> 00:04:56,180
Hey, Tuck. How'd it go?
118
00:04:56,214 --> 00:04:58,115
Why do I ever listen to you?
119
00:04:58,149 --> 00:05:00,084
That good, huh?
120
00:05:00,118 --> 00:05:01,852
No, Ben, not good.
121
00:05:01,886 --> 00:05:03,287
She's not coming.
122
00:05:05,690 --> 00:05:08,092
- This is all my fault.
- Yeah, we all got that.
123
00:05:09,161 --> 00:05:10,962
I just feel so bad for him.
124
00:05:10,996 --> 00:05:12,797
Me, too.
125
00:05:12,831 --> 00:05:16,500
Ahh... that's what this feeling is.
126
00:05:16,535 --> 00:05:17,935
Compassion.
127
00:05:19,271 --> 00:05:20,938
Mm, I don't like it!
128
00:05:22,074 --> 00:05:23,374
I need a drink.
129
00:05:26,746 --> 00:05:32,384
And I wanna see you all at the
sexual harassment seminar on Monday.
130
00:05:32,418 --> 00:05:34,185
Especially you, Janice.
131
00:05:35,721 --> 00:05:37,155
Dismissed.
132
00:05:39,191 --> 00:05:42,283
Whoa, whoa, Perrin. What are you
on, some kinda doughnut cleanse?
133
00:05:43,662 --> 00:05:44,416
No. I'm just...
134
00:05:44,442 --> 00:05:46,824
Calm down, I'm not callin'
you fat, I'm just suggesting
135
00:05:46,924 --> 00:05:48,925
you slow it down a bit,
'cause if you choke,
136
00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:52,363
HR has forbidden me from
administering the Heimlich.
137
00:05:52,463 --> 00:05:55,065
I still think shirts
off is more effective.
138
00:05:56,601 --> 00:05:59,603
Right, um... actually,
I wanted to talk to you
139
00:05:59,637 --> 00:06:01,671
about announcing the new junior partner?
140
00:06:01,706 --> 00:06:03,740
Those of us in the running
have been jumping through hoops
141
00:06:03,775 --> 00:06:05,431
for months, and I think
we deserve to know.
142
00:06:05,510 --> 00:06:08,345
Wow, feisty pants, you
wanna re-aim that angry gun?
143
00:06:08,379 --> 00:06:09,513
Huh?
144
00:06:11,082 --> 00:06:13,250
But you do have a point.
145
00:06:13,285 --> 00:06:14,819
- Thank you.
- So here's what we're gonna do.
146
00:06:14,853 --> 00:06:16,787
I'm gonna have everyone
stay late tomorrow,
147
00:06:16,822 --> 00:06:19,650
so you can present the closing
arguments to the McDougal case,
148
00:06:19,750 --> 00:06:21,551
and if we're suitably impressed,
149
00:06:21,585 --> 00:06:24,587
well, I think we'll be
able to make a decision.
150
00:06:24,622 --> 00:06:27,657
Uh, wow! Uh, tomorrow,
as in the day after today?
151
00:06:27,692 --> 00:06:29,325
I'm sorry, you said the MacDonald case?
152
00:06:29,360 --> 00:06:30,940
Mc-Dou-gal.
153
00:06:32,330 --> 00:06:33,797
You are prepared, aren't you, counselor?
154
00:06:33,831 --> 00:06:36,933
Oh... Oh, so prepared, I mean, I
could do it right now, if you wanted.
155
00:06:36,968 --> 00:06:38,564
But let's not, because you look busy.
156
00:06:38,664 --> 00:06:42,400
So, uh, tomorrow's
fine. Or... next week?
157
00:06:42,434 --> 00:06:43,902
Whichever.
158
00:06:48,674 --> 00:06:50,642
Hi! Tucker Dobbs.
159
00:06:50,676 --> 00:06:52,577
Probably takin' home
an award tomorrow night.
160
00:06:52,612 --> 00:06:53,565
(laughs)
161
00:06:53,646 --> 00:06:55,447
Hey... Hey, Frank Bostwick, right?
162
00:06:55,481 --> 00:06:56,715
Did I just hear you were in the market
163
00:06:56,749 --> 00:06:59,161
for a hot young producer,
perfect, I'll call Monday!
164
00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:03,822
Tucker Dobbs? I've heard some
very impressive things about you.
165
00:07:03,857 --> 00:07:08,761
Really? Impressive enough
to hire me? (laughs)
166
00:07:08,795 --> 00:07:10,934
I'm not desperate, I'm just asking.
167
00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:14,400
Well, all I can say is,
your mother is hysterical.
168
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:15,769
My what?
169
00:07:15,869 --> 00:07:17,937
Hello, son.
170
00:07:17,971 --> 00:07:19,472
What the hell are you doing here?
171
00:07:19,506 --> 00:07:23,409
I told you, you are not my plus one,
y... you're not even my minus one.
172
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:25,409
Ben felt bad about your
mother not loving you enough
173
00:07:25,509 --> 00:07:27,911
to show up, so here I am.
174
00:07:27,945 --> 00:07:30,680
Not loving you enough,
but... showing up.
175
00:07:30,714 --> 00:07:33,249
Okay. (chuckles) Right,
right. Well, I suggest
176
00:07:33,284 --> 00:07:35,831
you finish filling up on shrimp
and get the hell outta here.
177
00:07:35,931 --> 00:07:38,065
Seriously, I can see them in your purse.
178
00:07:38,099 --> 00:07:40,100
Is that any way to treat
the woman who just talked up
179
00:07:40,135 --> 00:07:42,703
her talented, driven, bi-racial son,
180
00:07:42,737 --> 00:07:44,947
and got him three job interviews?
181
00:07:47,109 --> 00:07:49,210
Hey, you look important,
have you met my mom?
182
00:07:49,244 --> 00:07:50,962
Oh, hey...
183
00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:55,361
Dr. Dobbs! I'm so
happy you could make it.
184
00:07:55,387 --> 00:07:57,443
Tucker is gonna be so surprised.
185
00:08:03,005 --> 00:08:04,773
So, I bet you're pretty
proud of your son.
186
00:08:04,807 --> 00:08:06,441
Oh, of course I am.
187
00:08:06,475 --> 00:08:09,311
Makutawatah will be a
brilliant doctor one day.
188
00:08:09,345 --> 00:08:12,914
And to think, he only cost me $29
a month and a couple of stamps.
189
00:08:13,650 --> 00:08:14,750
I meant Tucker.
190
00:08:14,784 --> 00:08:17,653
Oh, Tucker could never be a doctor.
191
00:08:17,687 --> 00:08:20,989
- (both laughing)
- Well, we certainly pulled that off,
192
00:08:21,024 --> 00:08:22,644
didn't we... son?
193
00:08:22,826 --> 00:08:24,093
Well, the awards are tomorrow night,
194
00:08:24,127 --> 00:08:26,829
so be sure to pull
it off again... "Mom"!
195
00:08:26,863 --> 00:08:30,933
- You're grounded!
- Not again, Ma! (both laughing)
196
00:08:30,967 --> 00:08:33,059
You know, I'm kinda sorry
your mom didn't come.
197
00:08:33,159 --> 00:08:34,359
I'd like to meet her someday.
198
00:08:34,394 --> 00:08:36,862
You slept with my dad and
were named in their divorce.
199
00:08:36,896 --> 00:08:39,431
And that's why I said, "kinda sorry."
200
00:08:39,466 --> 00:08:40,833
Okay.
201
00:08:42,102 --> 00:08:44,303
Thanks for coming, that was
super fun, I'm really tired, bye!
202
00:08:46,940 --> 00:08:49,541
Why do so many of my dates end this way?
203
00:08:52,679 --> 00:08:53,779
Mmm.
204
00:08:55,015 --> 00:08:58,884
Mom! Wha... What a surprise!
205
00:08:58,919 --> 00:08:59,526
Oh, my God!
206
00:08:59,626 --> 00:09:02,428
Oh... okay, I'd like to be done now.
207
00:09:02,462 --> 00:09:05,264
Okay. Um... what are you doing here?
208
00:09:05,298 --> 00:09:06,999
Guilty!
209
00:09:07,034 --> 00:09:08,834
Well, after we spoke, Benjamin called
210
00:09:08,869 --> 00:09:09,371
and explained to me
211
00:09:09,471 --> 00:09:11,305
how important this
award thing is to you.
212
00:09:11,339 --> 00:09:13,541
You didn't get that
from my call when I said
213
00:09:13,575 --> 00:09:15,643
how important this award thing is to me?
214
00:09:16,912 --> 00:09:19,680
Well, you think everything is important.
215
00:09:19,714 --> 00:09:21,315
Lord knows I've left the operating room
216
00:09:21,349 --> 00:09:24,685
for a couple of backyard plays that
turned out to be not as critical
217
00:09:24,719 --> 00:09:26,220
as my patients.
218
00:09:28,090 --> 00:09:30,057
Ben, can I talk to you for a minute?
219
00:09:30,092 --> 00:09:32,426
Mom, just, uh... m...
make yourself comfortable.
220
00:09:32,461 --> 00:09:34,328
Oh, I haven't been
comfortable in 26 years.
221
00:09:35,397 --> 00:09:37,098
Hey, aren't you 26?
222
00:09:39,234 --> 00:09:41,602
Hey, man, no need to get all mushy.
223
00:09:41,637 --> 00:09:43,171
A simple "thank you" is fine.
224
00:09:43,205 --> 00:09:44,639
You're right, this
really calls for a hug.
225
00:09:44,673 --> 00:09:46,175
Get off of me!
226
00:09:46,275 --> 00:09:48,843
Why would you send your
mom to be my pretend mom,
227
00:09:48,878 --> 00:09:51,066
while you call my mom to
come and be my real mom?
228
00:09:51,166 --> 00:09:53,200
Wait! Did my mom show
up at the cocktail party?
229
00:09:53,235 --> 00:09:55,269
That was not the plan!
230
00:09:55,303 --> 00:09:56,937
Well, let's just hope
she didn't talk to anyone.
231
00:09:56,972 --> 00:09:58,939
She talked to everyone!
232
00:09:58,974 --> 00:10:00,713
The whole world thinks she's my mom.
233
00:10:00,842 --> 00:10:04,111
I have six interviews and
a bachelor party to go to.
234
00:10:04,146 --> 00:10:06,847
But your mom's gonna be crushed
if she doesn't get to go now.
235
00:10:06,882 --> 00:10:09,317
Yeah. That's kinda why I'm so pissed!
236
00:10:09,351 --> 00:10:12,486
Oh... yeah, I was wondering.
237
00:10:12,521 --> 00:10:15,194
Look, man, I know you don't have
the best relationship with your mom,
238
00:10:15,190 --> 00:10:18,893
and I envy you for that. But
this could be the fresh start.
239
00:10:18,928 --> 00:10:20,019
What am I supposed to do?
240
00:10:20,162 --> 00:10:21,443
I don't think you have a choice.
241
00:10:21,543 --> 00:10:22,610
You have to uninvite her.
242
00:10:22,644 --> 00:10:26,261
Me? Wh-Why do I have to
do it? This is your fault.
243
00:10:26,514 --> 00:10:28,482
Is it?
244
00:10:28,516 --> 00:10:29,395
Yeah.
245
00:10:29,495 --> 00:10:30,862
Are you sure?
246
00:10:30,896 --> 00:10:32,864
Uh-huh.
247
00:10:32,898 --> 00:10:34,298
I don't know...
248
00:10:35,501 --> 00:10:40,205
And so, ladies and gentlemen
of the jury... (yawns)
249
00:10:40,239 --> 00:10:46,845
Um... to ignore the facts
is to, um... is to...
250
00:10:48,714 --> 00:10:50,573
(snoring)
251
00:10:51,417 --> 00:10:54,116
Poor thing, she's exhausted. She
didn't sleep at all last night.
252
00:10:54,570 --> 00:10:55,704
She's goin' down!
253
00:10:58,441 --> 00:10:59,630
Think I should wake her up?
254
00:10:59,656 --> 00:11:01,768
If you wake her up,
I'll put you to sleep.
255
00:11:03,846 --> 00:11:05,280
This is really important for her.
256
00:11:05,314 --> 00:11:08,083
Yeah, well, so was going to
that awards show with Tucker.
257
00:11:08,117 --> 00:11:10,039
But you don't see me
plotting my revenge.
258
00:11:10,353 --> 00:11:12,321
You don't, do you?
259
00:11:12,355 --> 00:11:14,223
'Cause I want it to
seem like an accident.
260
00:11:16,025 --> 00:11:18,660
It's McDougal, not
MacDonald, stupid, stupid.
261
00:11:18,695 --> 00:11:20,797
(snoring)
262
00:11:20,897 --> 00:11:22,398
She's so beautiful when she sleeps.
263
00:11:23,967 --> 00:11:26,088
Is it wrong that all I wanna do is draw
264
00:11:26,114 --> 00:11:28,128
a mustache on her and post it online?
265
00:11:29,339 --> 00:11:30,372
Mom!
266
00:11:31,708 --> 00:11:33,568
- Okay, maybe just one picture.
- Okay!
267
00:11:36,547 --> 00:11:39,015
So, what'd you think of Uncle
Tucker's Mother's Day special?
268
00:11:39,049 --> 00:11:42,518
- Eh.
- Took the "eh" right outta my mouth.
269
00:11:42,553 --> 00:11:45,489
Finally, a suit named for
the guy who's wearin' it.
270
00:11:45,589 --> 00:11:47,657
The "tux"! (laughs)
271
00:11:47,691 --> 00:11:48,825
What do you think, Emma?
272
00:11:48,859 --> 00:11:50,960
Handsome.
273
00:11:50,995 --> 00:11:53,486
And I agree! I should be
takin' you to the awards
274
00:11:53,586 --> 00:11:54,788
instead of your grandma.
275
00:11:54,888 --> 00:11:57,055
Emma's grandma? My mom?
276
00:11:57,090 --> 00:11:58,991
You're taking my mom?
Don't you mean your mom?
277
00:11:59,025 --> 00:12:01,627
No, your mom, like we planned.
278
00:12:01,661 --> 00:12:05,206
No! I uninvited my mom so
you could take your mom.
279
00:12:05,306 --> 00:12:06,539
Like we planned!
280
00:12:06,574 --> 00:12:10,644
No! I uninvited my mom so
that I could take your mom...
281
00:12:10,678 --> 00:12:11,778
like we planned!
282
00:12:11,812 --> 00:12:14,347
- I didn't plan that!
- That's pretty obvious now!
283
00:12:17,085 --> 00:12:19,486
- Should I stay out of it?
- Yes.
284
00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:21,317
- Will I stay out of it?
- No.
285
00:12:21,417 --> 00:12:23,785
Oh, you know me so well.
286
00:12:29,158 --> 00:12:31,121
You know, Tucker, the way your
mother's been singing your praises,
287
00:12:31,221 --> 00:12:32,588
you might just have
to pay her 10 percent.
288
00:12:32,622 --> 00:12:34,022
(all laughing)
289
00:12:35,725 --> 00:12:39,561
- Never happening, no.
- Oh, we'll see.
290
00:12:39,596 --> 00:12:41,096
I need a drink.
291
00:12:42,999 --> 00:12:46,535
So... you look like you
have an expense account.
292
00:12:46,569 --> 00:12:47,897
How liberal can you get with that thing?
293
00:12:49,139 --> 00:12:51,373
A vodka tonic, hold the tonic.
294
00:12:51,407 --> 00:12:54,472
Just like your father used to
drink before he would get Frisky.
295
00:12:55,011 --> 00:12:55,585
Mom?
296
00:12:55,611 --> 00:12:57,880
Why he had to have a drink
before he brought the cat in,
297
00:12:57,914 --> 00:12:59,014
I'll never know.
298
00:13:02,965 --> 00:13:04,860
I can't believe you
brought my mother here.
299
00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:06,184
Well, I'm sorry. How
was I supposed to know
300
00:13:06,284 --> 00:13:07,718
you were gonna reinvite my mom?
301
00:13:07,752 --> 00:13:10,821
The same way I was supposed to know
you would stay out of my business.
302
00:13:10,855 --> 00:13:13,324
Well, a better friend would
know I have no self-control.
303
00:13:14,359 --> 00:13:15,359
What do we do now?
304
00:13:15,393 --> 00:13:16,994
Oh... Oh, I'll tell you
what you're gonna do.
305
00:13:17,028 --> 00:13:18,729
You're gonna go keep my mom occupied.
306
00:13:18,763 --> 00:13:21,041
Dude, she's an attractive
woman, but I d...
307
00:13:21,067 --> 00:13:22,232
By talking to her!
308
00:13:22,267 --> 00:13:24,326
Ohh, yeah, okay, I can do that, too.
309
00:13:24,426 --> 00:13:26,789
Look, I told her that because
her visit was a "surprise,"
310
00:13:26,889 --> 00:13:29,357
there wasn't enough time to
get her a ticket at my table.
311
00:13:29,391 --> 00:13:32,260
So, the two of you, you're just
gonna sit in the back together,
312
00:13:32,294 --> 00:13:34,855
and then I'll slip out with her
afterwards and take her to dinner.
313
00:13:34,955 --> 00:13:38,091
I like it, I like it, but
do you have another plan
314
00:13:38,125 --> 00:13:39,859
where I'm not stuck with
the my mom at the end?
315
00:13:39,893 --> 00:13:41,494
Oh, no. Incoming mom! Incoming mom!
316
00:13:41,528 --> 00:13:43,129
- Mine or yours?
- Both! Go! Go!
317
00:13:45,499 --> 00:13:47,300
All right, are we all ready to do this?
318
00:13:47,334 --> 00:13:51,671
I want everyone to give Ms. Perrin
here their undivided attention.
319
00:13:55,476 --> 00:13:58,006
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, before
320
00:13:58,032 --> 00:14:00,190
you sits not just an innocent man,
321
00:14:00,265 --> 00:14:03,139
but a man willfully and wrongly accused.
322
00:14:03,239 --> 00:14:06,408
We have shown... uh...
uh... ho... Is that tuna?
323
00:14:06,442 --> 00:14:08,710
Wow. Way to lose focus.
324
00:14:10,046 --> 00:14:14,049
Sorry. We have shown that the
defendant could not have possibly...
325
00:14:14,083 --> 00:14:15,348
Are... Are you gonna eat that right now?
326
00:14:15,518 --> 00:14:17,114
Uh, Perrin, if you're gonna be working
327
00:14:17,214 --> 00:14:18,820
the sandwich into your argument...
328
00:14:18,855 --> 00:14:20,322
bad idea.
329
00:14:21,658 --> 00:14:23,626
Again, sorry.
330
00:14:24,928 --> 00:14:27,296
Uh... we have shown that the defendant
331
00:14:27,330 --> 00:14:30,633
could not have possibly
committed the crime... (gagging)
332
00:14:30,667 --> 00:14:32,368
crimes of which he has been accused,
333
00:14:32,402 --> 00:14:35,938
because, well... huh, because
he just simply wasn't there.
334
00:14:35,972 --> 00:14:39,263
- Ms. Perrin? You okay?
- No, no, I'm fine, I'm fine, thank you.
335
00:14:40,177 --> 00:14:43,813
And... seeing as he
wasn't there, he, uh...
336
00:14:43,847 --> 00:14:47,149
Oh my... Oh, my God! (vomiting)
337
00:14:52,223 --> 00:14:53,723
(cell phone ringing)
338
00:14:55,125 --> 00:14:57,261
(cell phone ringing)
339
00:14:57,361 --> 00:14:58,895
I think you have a call.
340
00:15:01,466 --> 00:15:04,835
(awards music playing and applause)
341
00:15:06,270 --> 00:15:09,106
This is just like the awards
ceremonies for doctors, except,
342
00:15:09,140 --> 00:15:12,943
we don't give awards, we just...
save lives and don't brag about it.
343
00:15:14,879 --> 00:15:17,347
Dr. Dobbs, I know this
is none of my business,
344
00:15:17,382 --> 00:15:18,915
but can I be honest with you?
345
00:15:18,950 --> 00:15:22,052
Which implies you've been dishonest
with me up until this point,
346
00:15:22,086 --> 00:15:23,121
but sure, go ahead.
347
00:15:24,389 --> 00:15:26,920
Bottom line, I don't think Tucker
thinks he's important to you.
348
00:15:27,359 --> 00:15:30,809
Well, that's ridiculous. I
heavily imply it constantly.
349
00:15:31,763 --> 00:15:34,598
You know what? I don't think
you're a very good mother.
350
00:15:34,633 --> 00:15:39,336
You're uncaring, you're cold, and
you make Tucker feel like crap.
351
00:15:39,371 --> 00:15:42,216
Is it so hard to show your son
that you're proud of what he does?
352
00:15:42,316 --> 00:15:46,252
Even my mom shows me that she
loves me, and she hates me.
353
00:15:46,286 --> 00:15:48,521
I don't care how deep you
have to dig to find an ounce
354
00:15:48,555 --> 00:15:51,301
of unconditional love and
support, but you better do it.
355
00:15:51,892 --> 00:15:53,493
Because he deserves it.
356
00:15:55,062 --> 00:15:57,063
How long have you two been dating?
357
00:16:02,269 --> 00:16:04,904
Hey, hey... how'd it
go? Did you kill it?
358
00:16:04,939 --> 00:16:07,156
Oh, I killed it. Yeah,
uh, I killed my career.
359
00:16:07,256 --> 00:16:08,970
You know what? And it's my fault, for
360
00:16:09,070 --> 00:16:10,227
thinking that I could have it all,
361
00:16:10,261 --> 00:16:12,496
that I could be a mom,
and this hotshot lawyer,
362
00:16:12,530 --> 00:16:13,901
when the truth is, I
can't even go five minutes
363
00:16:14,001 --> 00:16:16,636
without barfing in somebody's handbag.
364
00:16:16,671 --> 00:16:18,472
You puked in a purse?
365
00:16:18,506 --> 00:16:20,379
Yes. I did.
366
00:16:20,675 --> 00:16:22,394
And it was a really nice purse.
367
00:16:23,545 --> 00:16:25,078
Look, they'll never give
me junior partner now.
368
00:16:25,113 --> 00:16:26,980
I can't believe I
thought I could do this.
369
00:16:27,015 --> 00:16:28,348
You can do this.
370
00:16:28,383 --> 00:16:31,084
You can do anything
because you're Riley Perrin.
371
00:16:31,119 --> 00:16:32,753
You're gonna be the mother to my child,
372
00:16:32,787 --> 00:16:35,122
and if you want something...
you're gonna get it!
373
00:16:35,156 --> 00:16:37,057
Danny, Danny!
374
00:16:37,091 --> 00:16:39,922
Hey. I'm Danny Wheeler, Riley's fianc?.
375
00:16:40,022 --> 00:16:42,190
I never touched her, don't hurt my face.
376
00:16:43,625 --> 00:16:46,360
What? No. No, I just
want you all to know
377
00:16:46,395 --> 00:16:48,362
that you're making a terrible mistake.
378
00:16:48,397 --> 00:16:50,231
So what if she's pregnant?
379
00:16:50,265 --> 00:16:51,632
Yeah... that's right.
380
00:16:51,667 --> 00:16:55,035
She's not fat. She's got
a kid shoved up in there!
381
00:16:57,139 --> 00:16:59,640
My hero.
382
00:16:59,675 --> 00:17:02,220
But you should all be
ashamed of yourselves.
383
00:17:02,246 --> 00:17:04,145
She's managed to outwork all of you,
384
00:17:04,246 --> 00:17:08,108
24-7, round the clock, learning
this case inside and out,
385
00:17:08,208 --> 00:17:11,043
just to prove what I've always known...
386
00:17:11,077 --> 00:17:13,879
that she can do anything
she sets her mind to.
387
00:17:13,914 --> 00:17:17,283
And that's exactly the kind of
lawyer you should make partner.
388
00:17:17,317 --> 00:17:19,451
(kazoo fanfare)
389
00:17:20,921 --> 00:17:22,588
Surprise.
390
00:17:24,257 --> 00:17:26,292
Uhh... What... What is going on?
391
00:17:26,326 --> 00:17:28,928
Oh, my God, I did it. I got you the job!
392
00:17:30,530 --> 00:17:32,936
We decided on you last week. I set up
393
00:17:33,036 --> 00:17:34,256
this whole closing arguments thing
394
00:17:34,331 --> 00:17:37,222
just to get you down here so
that we could surprise you.
395
00:17:37,322 --> 00:17:41,158
Puking into Sandy's
handbag was just a bonus.
396
00:17:41,193 --> 00:17:46,297
But, for the record, you being
pregnant was never an issue.
397
00:17:46,331 --> 00:17:48,799
Is that how HR told me to say it?
398
00:17:50,469 --> 00:17:52,103
So you knew?
399
00:17:52,137 --> 00:17:54,705
- How?
- Well, you stopped drinkin' coffee,
400
00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:57,080
and you switched to water at happy hour,
401
00:17:57,106 --> 00:17:59,502
and, well, your office
smells like vomit.
402
00:18:01,180 --> 00:18:04,725
And the winner for Outstanding
Daytime Special goes to...
403
00:18:05,284 --> 00:18:09,312
Tucker Dobbs, The Mary Hart Show:
A Very Hart-Felt Mother's Day.
404
00:18:09,388 --> 00:18:11,639
Oh, my God, I did it, I won!
405
00:18:11,724 --> 00:18:13,926
- What are you doing?
- I'm going with you.
406
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:15,083
Wait! Where are you going?
407
00:18:15,183 --> 00:18:16,862
You just told me I need to
show him I'm proud of him.
408
00:18:16,896 --> 00:18:17,896
I didn't mean now!
409
00:18:17,931 --> 00:18:19,698
No, don't... No, ow! Ohh!
410
00:18:19,732 --> 00:18:21,767
Okay, fine. But not a word out of you!
411
00:18:21,801 --> 00:18:24,102
Wow, to say this is a
surprise is an under...
412
00:18:24,137 --> 00:18:26,940
Tucker, darling, I'm so happy for you.
413
00:18:27,173 --> 00:18:28,507
Who's this woman?
414
00:18:28,541 --> 00:18:29,608
I'm his mother.
415
00:18:29,642 --> 00:18:31,076
- Who are you?
- I'm his mother.
416
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:35,948
That's right. Tucker Dobbs
has... has two mommies.
417
00:18:35,982 --> 00:18:38,383
Two white mommies.
418
00:18:38,418 --> 00:18:40,085
Tonight was a journey long in the...
419
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:42,054
Where the hell have
you been all this time?
420
00:18:42,088 --> 00:18:43,552
Um, saving lives?
421
00:18:43,552 --> 00:18:45,221
Why is this woman
pretending to be your mother?
422
00:18:45,321 --> 00:18:46,554
Can we please do this later?
423
00:18:46,589 --> 00:18:48,998
- As I was saying...
- And why are you even here?
424
00:18:49,198 --> 00:18:50,663
Did they run out of ice?
425
00:18:50,899 --> 00:18:53,568
I... I don't know who you
are, but it would be terrific
426
00:18:53,602 --> 00:18:54,736
if you would just shut up.
427
00:18:54,770 --> 00:18:56,838
Hey hey hey, how about you both shut up?
428
00:18:56,872 --> 00:18:58,039
I just wanna dedicate this to...
429
00:18:58,073 --> 00:18:59,873
So what you're saying is
I'm not good enough for him?
430
00:18:59,909 --> 00:19:01,929
Well, from what I hear, you're not
good enough for a lot of people.
431
00:19:02,029 --> 00:19:04,630
Oh, 'kay, well, I'm here
now, so you can leave.
432
00:19:04,665 --> 00:19:05,765
No, you can leave.
433
00:19:05,799 --> 00:19:07,033
Oh, I wish I could leave.
434
00:19:07,067 --> 00:19:08,634
Tucker, I need to talk to you.
435
00:19:08,669 --> 00:19:11,103
Seriously, can we do this later?
436
00:19:11,138 --> 00:19:12,405
I never really wanted kids.
437
00:19:12,439 --> 00:19:14,373
And we're doing this now.
438
00:19:14,408 --> 00:19:17,114
I just want you to know that
I really do love you, Tucker.
439
00:19:17,278 --> 00:19:19,545
And I'm sorry if I have
a hard time showing it.
440
00:19:21,482 --> 00:19:22,915
I love you, too, Mom.
441
00:19:24,918 --> 00:19:26,386
Oh...
442
00:19:32,426 --> 00:19:34,061
Powerful stuff, huh?
443
00:19:34,428 --> 00:19:35,618
And I just wanted to
say that I really...
444
00:19:35,718 --> 00:19:37,142
Not now, Mrs. Wheeler.
445
00:19:37,665 --> 00:19:40,618
Wheeler? Bonnie Wheeler?
446
00:19:41,004 --> 00:19:44,073
You're the woman who
slept with my husband?
447
00:19:44,107 --> 00:19:47,276
No, no, you are thinking of
a different Bonnie Wheeler,
448
00:19:47,310 --> 00:19:48,477
You know what? I'm gonna go get her.
449
00:19:48,511 --> 00:19:50,412
- 'Kay?
- Get back here.
450
00:19:50,447 --> 00:19:52,448
Mom! This way, through the kitchen!
451
00:19:52,543 --> 00:19:54,012
You know, just once,
I'd like to not have
452
00:19:54,038 --> 00:19:55,437
to run out of someplace fancy with you.
453
00:19:56,547 --> 00:19:57,948
Wait! No, I...
454
00:19:57,982 --> 00:20:01,618
- Wow. I just... uh...
- (music begins)
455
00:20:03,654 --> 00:20:05,221
(indistinct)
456
00:20:05,256 --> 00:20:06,756
- Come on, man.
- The music's on.
457
00:20:09,498 --> 00:20:11,836
Hey, maybe the most awkward
acceptance speech ever
458
00:20:11,936 --> 00:20:13,303
but you're back in the TV biz.
459
00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:15,505
Yeah, only if I get a job selling them.
460
00:20:15,540 --> 00:20:18,208
Every one of those
interviews got canceled.
461
00:20:18,242 --> 00:20:19,509
I'm sorry, man.
462
00:20:19,544 --> 00:20:21,578
But your mom did show up.
463
00:20:21,612 --> 00:20:24,614
Yeah. Hey, she told me what you said.
464
00:20:25,716 --> 00:20:26,783
Thank you, Ben.
465
00:20:27,919 --> 00:20:31,321
You know, sometimes I wish
I was a part of your family.
466
00:20:31,355 --> 00:20:32,789
Your mom might be crazy,
467
00:20:32,823 --> 00:20:35,158
but... she really had my back today.
468
00:20:36,460 --> 00:20:38,161
Hey, don't tell Tucker,
469
00:20:38,195 --> 00:20:39,596
but I tried to open a bottle of wine
470
00:20:39,630 --> 00:20:40,864
with his award.
471
00:20:40,898 --> 00:20:42,838
Those wing things snapped right off.
472
00:20:45,197 --> 00:20:47,197
Welcome to the family.
473
00:20:47,247 --> 00:20:51,797
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
36325
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
