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1
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# You must remember this
2
00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:13,834
# A kiss is still a kiss
3
00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:16,678
# A sigh is just a sigh
4
00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:23,035
# The fundamental things apply
5
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# As time goes by #
6
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- I'm off now, Mum.
- Who's that chap with the croaky voice?
7
00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:37,633
Chap with the croaky voice? Louis Armstrong?
8
00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:40,990
No. The chap who decorated our hall.
9
00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:43,838
Oh. Terry somebody. Terry... Sharp.
10
00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:47,793
- Terry Sharp! Yes.
- Are you having more decorating done?
11
00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:50,195
- No.
- Then why do you want to know?
12
00:00:50,240 --> 00:00:53,277
I seem to forget names more easily these days.
13
00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:55,629
Well, I'm your daughter, Judith.
14
00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:57,796
And, as I said, I'm off.
15
00:00:57,840 --> 00:01:01,674
- It's only 4:30.
- I asked you this morning about this.
16
00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:06,236
Oh, yes, so you did. I'd forgotten.
I used to have such a good memory.
17
00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:08,589
Mum, you've never had a good memory.
18
00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:11,074
Well, I've forgotten that too.
19
00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:15,591
I'll put a label in your coat
with our address in it. See you later.
20
00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:17,870
Very funny. Going anywhere nice?
21
00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:20,115
To the theatre with some friends.
22
00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:23,152
- Oh, is Alistair going?
- I said friends.
23
00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:27,028
- Goodbye, Sandy.
- Have a nice time.
24
00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:33,474
Er, Nicky Parsons has got the flu and can't work
tomorrow so I'll get Ann Wilson instead, OK?
25
00:01:33,520 --> 00:01:36,398
- Oh, right. I know who they are.
- Who?
26
00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:38,396
Nicky Parsons and Ann Wilson.
27
00:01:38,440 --> 00:01:43,514
Of course you do, they work for you.
What's so remarkable about remembering them?
28
00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:48,634
On current form, quite a lot.
Here, have Judy and Alistair had a row?
29
00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:53,310
Oh, you didn't know? She told him
she was sick of being taken for granted.
30
00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:58,115
Good for her! After David died I went out
with a man who took me for granted.
31
00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:00,469
- And you hated it?
- No, I loved it.
32
00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:04,115
For about three weeks,
then I got tired of it and gave him the push.
33
00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:07,755
- Did you and Lionel?
- Take each other for granted?
34
00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:11,952
I expect so. Only we were so much in love
it didn't seem to matter.
35
00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:16,869
- I think people must have been nicer then.
- No, just more innocent.
36
00:02:16,920 --> 00:02:20,549
That's not what I heard.
What about that night in a country hotel?
37
00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:22,591
Perhaps not that innocent.
38
00:02:22,640 --> 00:02:26,838
Funny, that's the scene
Lionel's trying to rewrite in his script.
39
00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:29,235
- With the aid of Mrs Flack.
- "Aid"?
40
00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:32,875
I thought she talked so much
he couldn't do any rewrites?
41
00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:35,388
And I thought you were trying to sack her?
42
00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:39,672
How can you sack a woman
who insists on turning up for work on crutches?
43
00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:43,235
True. Still, one good thing
about her being on crutches -
44
00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:45,510
it'll stop her tidying up the house.
45
00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:47,551
Well, upstairs anyway.
46
00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:52,914
You've moved the custard tarts again.
47
00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:56,157
- Crumby things.
- I happen to like custard tarts.
48
00:02:56,200 --> 00:03:01,479
No, I mean I thought it would be tidier
to put all the crumby things in one cupboard.
49
00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:03,636
You had them in with the saucepans.
50
00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:08,117
- I keep them in with the saucepans.
- It's not very logical, is it?
51
00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:11,550
Logical or not,
that's where I keep my custard tarts.
52
00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:14,160
I was just trying to be helpful.
53
00:03:14,920 --> 00:03:16,956
(Groans)
54
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:19,719
Yes, I know you were. Erm, have a biscuit.
55
00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:23,639
Thank you.
There's something troubling you, isn't there?
56
00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:27,468
- No.
- You've been out of sorts all day.
57
00:03:27,520 --> 00:03:29,795
I think I know what it is.
58
00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:34,914
- Do you?
- Some things aren't easy to put into words.
59
00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:37,599
Yes, there are, Mrs Flack, you're right.
60
00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:40,029
- Like love.
- Pardon?
61
00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:44,232
Like love. Here you are,
trying to write a love scene
62
00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:46,748
and you're finding it hard to put into words.
63
00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:50,236
- That's what's troubling you.
- Yes, that's what's troubling me.
64
00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:54,796
It's funny because it's not as though
you have to make anything up.
65
00:03:54,840 --> 00:04:00,312
I mean, this is the first time that you
and Miss Pargetter, well... enjoined.
66
00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:03,156
I know that.
67
00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:05,634
You haven't forgotten, have you?
68
00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:10,356
Of course not, I just... find it rather difficult
to put it into words.
69
00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:13,198
Well! There are plenty of words!
70
00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:15,359
Yes.
71
00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:17,391
Go on, then.
72
00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:21,069
(Sighs) Where were we up to?
73
00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:23,953
You'd, er, just closed the bedroom door.
74
00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:25,991
Oh, yes.
75
00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:27,837
Well?
76
00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:32,237
At the risk of sounding prurient,
what happened next?
77
00:04:32,280 --> 00:04:34,316
I said, "Hello."
78
00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:39,155
But you just had dinner downstairs.
Why say hello?
79
00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:41,270
I don't know why, I just said it.
80
00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:44,039
It doesn't sound very romantic, does it?
81
00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:48,915
What about - and I know I'm not a writer -
but what about something like...
82
00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:53,158
- "Oh, my darling, you look so lovely"?
- I couldn't have said that.
83
00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:57,432
- Too shy?
- Jean was in the bathroom, out of sight.
84
00:04:57,480 --> 00:04:59,630
Why did you say hello then?
85
00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:05,154
You can say hello to someone
without being able to see them.
86
00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:08,795
You cannot say, "You look lovely"
to someone you can't see.
87
00:05:08,840 --> 00:05:10,831
- Fair point.
- Thank you.
88
00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:14,472
Now I don't want you to get ahead of yourself
89
00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:16,829
but did you undress?
90
00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:21,351
Well, I didn't jump into bed
with all my clothes on.
91
00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:25,279
Well, that brings us to the issue of socks.
92
00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:28,591
- Does it?
- Yes.
93
00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:31,677
I know I can't speak for the whole of womankind
94
00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:35,633
but a man taking his socks off last
is a dead turn-off.
95
00:05:37,280 --> 00:05:40,477
Well, you'll be thrilled to hear
that I never take my socks off last.
96
00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:42,636
- Oh, good.
- Anyway...
97
00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:45,870
After I said hello...
98
00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:48,639
Jean came out of the bathroom and I said...
99
00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:50,636
"Ah, there you are."
100
00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:55,231
The late Mr Flack was rather keen on,
well, that side of things.
101
00:05:55,280 --> 00:05:58,511
And surprisingly enough,
he was quite good at it.
102
00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:01,154
I mean, for a short man.
103
00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:04,829
And Jean said, "Yes, here I am."
104
00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:08,919
But he did develop this habit
of taking his socks off last
105
00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:13,750
and it didn't do a lot
for getting me in the mood, as you might say.
106
00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:18,396
- We've established that I didn't...
- Strange things, socks...
107
00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:23,195
I know they serve a purpose
but when it comes to that side of things
108
00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:26,471
they're best disposed of as quickly as possible.
109
00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:30,035
I find that cardigans
come under the same category.
110
00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:36,875
A nice enough garment in their own right
but somehow just not conducive.
111
00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:39,957
Would you excuse me for a moment, Mrs Flack?
112
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,991
Yes, of course.
113
00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:47,037
(Sighs)
114
00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:53,279
Rubbish.
115
00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:58,511
- Rubbish.
- (Door closes)
116
00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:00,471
No, I didn't.
117
00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:03,351
- Didn't what?
- Have a good day.
118
00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:07,552
- Everybody says that. "Have a good day?"
- There's not much point me saying it then.
119
00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:09,875
Not really. Where are the others?
120
00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:12,912
Judith's out
and Jean's popped down to the corner shop.
121
00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:16,350
- What for?
- To buy some corners, I suppose.
122
00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:22,274
Well, you can't be Mr Sunshine all the time.
I'm going to have a shower and change.
123
00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:25,153
- What, now?
- Did you want to use the bathroom?
124
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:30,710
No, I'd... I'd just sooner you waited
until Jean gets in, that's all.
125
00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:32,557
Why?
126
00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:37,792
- Because there's only us in the house.
- You find that significant?
127
00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:42,755
Yes, I do. I'll be down here
and you'll be up there with no clothes on.
128
00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:45,917
Well, as long as it stays that way
everything will be all right.
129
00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:47,951
I'd just sooner you waited.
130
00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:51,959
(Sighs) You are funny.
How was Mrs Flack today?
131
00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:57,198
- You going out as well?
- Yes, I'm going to look at a flat later.
132
00:07:57,240 --> 00:07:59,231
You didn't answer my question.
133
00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:03,034
I can't. I've used up my entire vocabulary
on Mrs Flack.
134
00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:06,038
- (Jean) Hello!
- Ah, that'll be Jean.
135
00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:09,111
Hello, Lionel. Had a good day?
136
00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:14,633
- Oh, dear.
- Right, I'll have that shower now you're in.
137
00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:17,069
- Why wait till I'm in?
- Lionel.
138
00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:19,998
He was getting ideas about soaping my back.
139
00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:26,152
I thought it was best to wait
until you were in the house.
140
00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:29,715
- You are sweet.
- Hmph. Sandy said I was funny.
141
00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:32,513
Well, sweetly funny then.
142
00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:36,156
No progress at all?
143
00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:40,637
We've established that Mrs Flack
doesn't like men wearing nothing but socks.
144
00:08:40,680 --> 00:08:44,468
- Nobody does, do they?
- I've never thought about it.
145
00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:48,593
- I've had an idea about Mrs Flack.
- Yes, I've had some ideas about Mrs Flack.
146
00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:51,154
I'm sure. But this one doesn't involve murder.
147
00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:56,194
We can't bring ourselves to sack her
but what if she left of her own accord?
148
00:08:56,240 --> 00:08:58,435
(Chuckles) Go on.
149
00:08:58,480 --> 00:09:00,994
- Well, it's a bit complicated.
- Oh, dear.
150
00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:04,077
It's worth a try though. I'll explain over dinner.
151
00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:07,669
Oh. There's a snag about dinner.
I was going to do us a Chinese.
152
00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:11,838
- Lost your nerve?
- No, the wok. Mrs Flack's been tidying again!
153
00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:17,235
- Good fish and chip shop, that.
- Yes.
154
00:09:17,280 --> 00:09:22,877
Excellent chips. I like a good chip.
A very rare thing these days, a really good chip.
155
00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:24,911
What do you think of my plan?
156
00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:27,838
- It's bizarre.
- Well, I think it's simple.
157
00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:33,193
Tell Mrs Flack you've got to go to Los Angeles
for two weeks and you need a secretary there.
158
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:35,435
- And ask her?
- Convincingly.
159
00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:39,029
- She says she can't come.
- Yes, because of Herriot.
160
00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:43,198
We know how she loves that dog.
She'd never leave him for two weeks.
161
00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:46,073
Your master plan rests on a Yorkshire terrier.
162
00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:48,350
A plan's got to rest on something.
163
00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:50,994
It will work. It really will.
164
00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:53,918
Does this call to Los Angeles come in the night?
165
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:56,633
No, we'll do it live. It's more convincing.
166
00:09:56,680 --> 00:10:00,116
I'll come in and say
there's a message from Los Angeles.
167
00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:03,994
- Why didn't they ask to speak to me?
- They were in a hurry.
168
00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:06,759
Why didn't the phone ring in the living room?
169
00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:10,395
- Well, it's... out of order.
- But this one's working?
170
00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:12,749
- Why's that?
- Well, I don't know!
171
00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:15,394
I'm not a telecommunications expert.
172
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:17,476
- Oh! I know!
- Yes?
173
00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:21,957
Oh, no, don't say yes like that.
No, I'll get Sandy to ring from the office
174
00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:24,514
so Mrs Flack will hear it ring in here.
175
00:10:24,560 --> 00:10:27,677
She'll hear it ring in the sitting room too.
176
00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:29,517
We'll disconnect it.
177
00:10:29,560 --> 00:10:32,313
And then I run up and down all day
to answer it?
178
00:10:32,360 --> 00:10:33,839
Oh...
179
00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:37,236
Oh! I know!
I'll make the noise of a phone in here.
180
00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:42,755
- Can you do that?
- Anyone can make the noise of a phone.
181
00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:45,268
Hm. Go on then.
182
00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:48,630
- What, now?
- Yes, if it's that simple, yes.
183
00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:50,591
Well, all right.
184
00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:55,912
(High-pitched) Brrr! Brrr!
185
00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:01,798
Didn't sound anything like a telephone.
186
00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:06,118
You're just making difficulties.
I'll do a short "Brrrr!"
187
00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:08,469
and say I was standing by the phone.
188
00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:11,717
This is bordering on the infantile
and deeply dishonest.
189
00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:14,433
- It's a minor deception.
- And it's flawed.
190
00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:18,678
What if Mrs Flack says (Imitates Mrs Flack),
"I'd love to go to Los Angeles"?
191
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,836
- Well, she won't.
- What if she does?
192
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:25,317
- We'll cancel the trip.
- You've got a contingency plan as well?
193
00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:27,351
No, I've just thought of it.
194
00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:30,392
- Look, this minor deception...
- Lie.
195
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:34,319
This minor lie... I know it's flawed
but what's the alternative?
196
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,590
This way we let Mrs Flack down lightly.
197
00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:40,952
I don't know. She talks all the time
so that I can never get any work done,
198
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:44,390
she wanders around rearranging things
and we're jumping through hoops
199
00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:46,112
so that she gets let down lightly.
200
00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:48,435
It's arriving to work on crutches that did it.
201
00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:53,759
Thank goodness she didn't come on a stretcher,
God knows what you'd have done then.
202
00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:04,236
(Horn honks)
203
00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:09,478
Er... excuse me. Just a minute.
204
00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:21,992
- Well, hi.
- How did you know I was here?
205
00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:24,349
Would you believe sheer intuition?
206
00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:26,391
- No.
- OK.
207
00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:28,874
I phoned Jean and she told me. Can we talk?
208
00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:30,911
That's what Joan Rivers says.
209
00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:34,236
I know - she stole it from me. Can we?
210
00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:38,910
- I don't think we've got much to talk about.
- That's where you're wrong with a capital R.
211
00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:42,350
- Jump in, I'll give you a lift.
- I'm with friends.
212
00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:44,550
I'm not going to give them a lift.
213
00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:46,989
Please, Judy.
214
00:12:52,040 --> 00:12:55,476
Sorry, I'm being hijacked. I'll call you soon.
215
00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:04,995
This had better be worth it.
216
00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:07,270
You'll find out when we get there.
217
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:09,276
Get where?
218
00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:11,436
Paris? Hong Kong? Name it.
219
00:13:11,480 --> 00:13:13,072
Home.
220
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,599
Dull but probably best.
221
00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:24,992
- I was half-watching that film.
- (Laughs) You weren't, you were fast asleep.
222
00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:27,031
I do nod off these days.
223
00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:29,799
I shouldn't worry - I'm losing my memory.
224
00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:32,877
I couldn't remember the name of the decorator.
225
00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:36,435
- Why did you want to?
- I can't remember that either.
226
00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:40,758
- If we go on like this we shall need a nurse.
- (Door opens)
227
00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:43,553
- Oh, hello, you two.
- Hi, lovely lady. Hi, Li.
228
00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:45,591
No, low Li. I'm tired.
229
00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:49,272
'Night.
230
00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:53,909
Mum, why did you tell Alistair where I was?
231
00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:58,238
- Because he asked and I'm a truthful person.
- (Lionel) Ha!
232
00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:02,034
- He wants to talk.
- Oh! Yes, all right. Good night.
233
00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:12,838
- (Lionel) Come on, nosey!
- Shh!
234
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:17,560
- Would you like a drink?
- No, thanks.
235
00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:20,558
Let's just... sit.
236
00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:28,399
- Not very warm.
- It's not supposed to be.
237
00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:29,839
Oh.
238
00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:34,158
Don't look surprised. Our last conversation
wasn't exactly lovely-dovey, was it?
239
00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:38,876
Not from you, no. There was even a reference
to my, er, near-perfect body.
240
00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:42,356
I actually said your not-so-perfect body.
241
00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:44,630
Oh. That was below the belt.
242
00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:47,240
Whichever way you want to look at it.
243
00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:49,953
Let's move away from my body, hm?
244
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:53,959
The fact is that you got very hostile,
and all I said was...
245
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:58,152
You didn't like me sharing a flat with Sandy
because it might inconvenience you.
246
00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:01,909
Now don't give me a hard time, Judy.
I mean, we are talking.
247
00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:05,748
- You're not saying anything new.
- All right, try this.
248
00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:10,191
Judy, I want you in my life.
I need you in my life
249
00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:12,231
and I mean "in".
250
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:16,639
- l-Is there more?
- A bit more, yes.
251
00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:21,596
Judy, don't move in with Sandy.
252
00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:26,033
Will you... move in with me?
253
00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:31,793
- (Door closes)
- That's the front door.
254
00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:35,314
- What?
- The front door's just closed.
255
00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:38,557
Then I suppose
someone's just come in or gone out.
256
00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:42,591
- Obviously.
- Why wake me up to tell me?
257
00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:45,437
They didn't talk for long, did they?
258
00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:48,950
I don't know, I was in the twilight zone
till you dug me in the ribs.
259
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:53,471
- I didn't. What do you think went on?
- How can I tell from up here?
260
00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:58,389
- Why did Alistair leave so quickly?
- Perhaps they left together.
261
00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:01,830
- (Footsteps approaching)
- No, I hadn't. Shh! Shh!
262
00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:04,440
- What?
- Someone's coming up the stairs.
263
00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:07,278
I'd like to think it was the Sandman.
264
00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:11,437
- (Knock at door)
- (Judy) Mum? Are you asleep?
265
00:16:12,440 --> 00:16:14,476
No, no!
266
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:17,398
Just reading. Come in, love.
267
00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:26,999
Alistair's just asked me to move in with him.
268
00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:31,437
Oh, I see. Where are you going?
269
00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:35,837
Well, you're obviously going to talk.
I'll just wander about downstairs.
270
00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:38,872
There's no need for that, you're family now.
271
00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:41,798
- I am?
- You're like a dad, really.
272
00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:43,637
Oh, Lord.
273
00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:45,830
Lionel, stop chattering.
274
00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:48,711
So what did you say?
275
00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:50,955
I said no.
276
00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:55,997
I was tempted.
Well, you know Alistair, he can be very...
277
00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:58,031
- Tempting.
- Yeah.
278
00:16:58,080 --> 00:17:01,959
Oh, he's fun, he's generous. The sex is great.
279
00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:05,109
I think I will have that walk.
280
00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:08,596
For goodness' sake!
This is a grown-up conversation.
281
00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:10,710
- But I'm a man.
- We know that!
282
00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:12,751
You have a role to play.
283
00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:16,509
Lionel, I don't want your advice,
I just want to tell you both.
284
00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:18,551
It isn't enough, is it?
285
00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:21,914
- No, it's not.
- What isn't?
286
00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:25,600
I think you better have that wander round.
287
00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:29,394
Alistair asking me to move in with him,
it's not enough.
288
00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:31,954
- I'm not young any more.
- You're a child!
289
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:34,309
Yeah, to you I might be.
290
00:17:34,360 --> 00:17:40,435
You know Alistair, it's just a temporary solution
to the problem, it's not a real commitment.
291
00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:43,271
Well, I think you're right.
292
00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:45,709
(Sighs) Yeah, so do I.
293
00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:49,548
Anyway, we'll see.
I just wanted to keep you up to date.
294
00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:52,068
- Good night.
- Are you all right?
295
00:17:52,120 --> 00:17:54,270
Strangely enough...
296
00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:57,996
- yes, I am. Good night.
- Good night, Judy.
297
00:17:58,040 --> 00:18:00,190
Good night, love.
298
00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:02,231
She's getting stronger.
299
00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:05,670
She has to be,
turning down someone with his money.
300
00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:09,035
Nobody else is coming in, are they?
301
00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:16,350
Who had you in mind?
The Band of the Grenadier Guards?
302
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:18,755
- Sandy.
- No, Sandy's all right.
303
00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:24,591
I don't mind being confided in but I don't like
being confided in when I'm in my pyjamas.
304
00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:27,154
- I'll remember that.
- You're exempt.
305
00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:31,352
- Oh, thanks(!)
- Get some sleep for Operation Flack tomorrow.
306
00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:36,600
- It'll work.
- (Both laugh)
307
00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:38,631
I hope so.
308
00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:43,068
- I'll see you later, Mum.
- Yes, see you later.
309
00:18:43,120 --> 00:18:45,509
What about that flat you went to see?
310
00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:51,192
Gone. I got a late edition of the paper.
I need to start grabbing them off the presses.
311
00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:54,630
Sandy, what do you think this noise is?
(Coughs)
312
00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:57,148
- What noise?
- I haven't done it yet.
313
00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:00,754
Brrr! Brrr!
314
00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:02,791
A train?
315
00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:05,916
No! Listen.
316
00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:08,758
- Brrr! Brrr!
- Some kind of bird.
317
00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:11,314
- It's a telephone.
- Oh.
318
00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:14,079
- Why?
- That's a bit complicated.
319
00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:17,715
- (Judy) Sandy, you coming?
- Yes! I think I'd better.
320
00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:19,113
Bye.
321
00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:22,436
"Some kind of bird"?
322
00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:31,351
- Oh, good morning, Mrs Flack.
- Good morning!
323
00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:33,391
I'll leave the door open for you.
324
00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:37,953
Mrs Flack is hobbling up! Action stations!
325
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:41,072
- I still have doubts about this.
- You have doubts about everything.
326
00:19:41,120 --> 00:19:44,430
Just get her in here
and I'll be in the kitchen waiting.
327
00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:50,476
What if someone actually phones and this
phone, which is supposed to be broken, rings?
328
00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:52,351
Disconnect it!
329
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:55,039
- (Door closes)
- (Mrs Flack) Morning!
330
00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:57,036
Oh, good morning, Mrs Flack.
331
00:19:57,080 --> 00:19:59,913
I'm getting quite used to these now.
332
00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:03,191
- I'm becoming quite adept.
- Good. Well, come in.
333
00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:08,837
If it's all the same, I'd like a word with
Miss Pargetter first. Is she in the kitchen?
334
00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:10,916
Yes.
335
00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:15,792
(Jean imitating telephone)
336
00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:19,231
Why are you making that noise?
337
00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:21,032
Oh.
338
00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:24,152
Whistling. Well, practising.
I'm not very good.
339
00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:29,069
No. (Laughs) No offence intended
but it really sounded more like a pigeon.
340
00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:34,239
Oh, did it? How can I help you, Mrs Flack?
341
00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:38,432
Oh, well, I'd like to talk to you
on a matter of some delicacy.
342
00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:39,879
Oh.
343
00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:41,911
Well, you'd better sit down.
344
00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:45,157
By the way, the living room phone
is out of order.
345
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:47,794
- I see.
- I thought I'd just tell you.
346
00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:50,832
- What did you want to talk about?
- Ohh...
347
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:53,519
I wish I was Winston Churchill.
348
00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:57,357
- Oh, do you?
- Cos he... he'd know how to put it.
349
00:20:57,400 --> 00:20:58,549
Oh.
350
00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:02,991
Still, I shall come straight to the point.
I know I do go on a bit sometimes
351
00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:06,157
but I can come straight to the point
when I want to.
352
00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:08,350
I'm sure you can. What is the point?
353
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:09,958
Well...
354
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:15,757
I'm afraid I'm going to have to terminate
my employment with Mr Hardcastle.
355
00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:18,030
And indeed your agency.
356
00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:20,116
Oh...
357
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:24,230
I see. Well, that's very bad news.
358
00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:29,877
I know. But my cousin with the inflamed tendon
has made me, as they say,
359
00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:32,593
an offer I can't refuse.
360
00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:36,792
She wants me to go and live with her in Dorset
and help run her little shop.
361
00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:40,310
She's ever so sweet, Fay.
She's on her own, like me.
362
00:21:40,360 --> 00:21:42,351
We'd be company, you see.
363
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:46,075
Oh, Mrs Flack, I couldn't be more pleased...
364
00:21:46,120 --> 00:21:47,917
for you.
365
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:51,589
- What about Herriot?
- Oh, that falls into place as well
366
00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:55,952
because Fay has
a West Highland White called Flora.
367
00:21:56,000 --> 00:22:00,949
Who knows, there might be
a little canine romance there. (Laughs)
368
00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:05,230
But why are you telling me this
and not, er, Lionel?
369
00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:08,795
Oh, well, because I wouldn't know
how to break it to him.
370
00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:12,116
- I know how upset he'll be.
- Yes, he will.
371
00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:17,473
We've formed such a lovely working relationship,
Mr Hardcastle and I.
372
00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:20,671
Yes, he often talks about it. Often.
373
00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:24,190
I've just had some extraordinary news.
I just had a call from Los Angeles.
374
00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:30,078
I thought you said the phone was out of order?
375
00:22:30,120 --> 00:22:32,190
Er, this phone. I meant this phone.
376
00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:36,916
The only thing wrong with the one up there
is you can't hear it in here.
377
00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:40,236
Well, I can't think it was anything very special.
378
00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:42,271
Oh, it was, yes!
379
00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:46,154
They want me to go over there
and work for a couple of weeks.
380
00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:50,751
I shall need to take a secretary with me -
and your name springs to mind.
381
00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:53,155
Oh! I'd love to!
382
00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:56,997
What? What about Herriot?
383
00:22:57,040 --> 00:22:58,951
Oh, no.
384
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:01,639
Oh, l-I'll let Miss Pargetter tell you.
385
00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:04,399
Well, I'm afraid it's bad news, Lionel.
386
00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:06,431
Herriot's dead?
387
00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:12,473
No, Mrs Flack's given in her notice.
388
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:17,111
Oh, dear.
389
00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:19,435
She's going to live with her cousin Fay.
390
00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:23,553
The one with the inflamed tendon in Dorset
with the West Highland White called Flora?
391
00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:25,477
Yes. Did I tell you about her?
392
00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:27,112
Yes.
393
00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:31,756
Well, you'll require two weeks' notice
of course, Miss Pargetter.
394
00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:33,791
- Will you?
- Will I? No...
395
00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:35,831
No, this is a special case.
396
00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:39,236
You must have so much to do,
you should start now.
397
00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:44,229
Thank you very much. It may be better this way,
less of a wrench for Mr Hardcastle.
398
00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:46,236
Absolutely.
399
00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:52,150
I'll just pop into the other room, gather up
any bits and bobs I may have left here.
400
00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:59,749
Don't worry, Mr Hardcastle. I'm sure
Miss Pargetter will get you a good replacement.
401
00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:02,678
But there'll never be another you, Mrs Flack.
402
00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:09,635
That's one of the nicest things
that anyone's ever said to me.
403
00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:16,911
- Come in, Alistair. Good to see you.
- You're very cheerful, Li.
404
00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:22,080
Well, I feel wonderful. Mrs Flack has left
and from tomorrow Daisy is my secretary.
405
00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:24,552
(Flatly) Hey, hey.
406
00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:27,068
Oh, that "hey, hey" lacked conviction.
407
00:24:27,120 --> 00:24:31,033
- Sorry, my turbo's not charging today.
- Judith?
408
00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:34,117
Can we have a sort of locker room talk?
409
00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:38,438
I don't actually have a locker room
but you're perfectly welcome to talk.
410
00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:42,596
- She turned me down, Li.
- It happens to everybody.
411
00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:48,272
Not to me. I mean, I like the girl.
I must do - I asked her to move in with me!
412
00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:52,154
Alistair, you've got to face facts -
it wasn't enough.
413
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:54,191
What more could I do?
414
00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:56,674
There's this thing called marriage.
415
00:24:57,920 --> 00:25:00,559
- Big word, Li.
- Not if you say it quickly.
416
00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:03,637
Quite honestly, mate,
I don't know that I'm ready.
417
00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:07,150
- You're not Peter Pan.
- That was shooting from the hip.
418
00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:11,830
I assumed a locker room talk
involved listening to someone else's opinion.
419
00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:16,431
- Judith has had two broken marriages.
- Then why look for another one?
420
00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:20,359
Maybe she's an optimist.
Maybe she needs that commitment.
421
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:23,870
- You're getting heavy.
- I'm just saying what I think.
422
00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:26,229
Then you agree with her?
423
00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:28,714
Yes, I do.
424
00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:31,149
Not to put too fine a point on it, mate,
425
00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:36,593
when it comes to commitment, isn't this a case
of the pot calling the kettle black?
426
00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:43,397
- I'll lay out your new suit for the morning.
- Why?
427
00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:47,228
- Daisy starts. You want to look your best.
- You're running this joke into the ground.
428
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:52,593
Sorry. Unless you want the Noel Coward look,
and swan around in a dressing gown all day?
429
00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:55,598
Burying the joke might be a better expression.
430
00:25:55,640 --> 00:26:01,510
- Did you get any work done this afternoon?
- No, Alistair came for a "locker room talk".
431
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:05,109
- You're becoming an agony aunt.
- I know and I don't like it.
432
00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:08,072
- How was he?
- He says his turbo isn't charging.
433
00:26:08,120 --> 00:26:10,395
Does that translate as down in the dumps?
434
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:14,274
- Something like that, yes.
- Too used to getting his own way.
435
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:17,355
I keep thinking of all that money.
436
00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:20,790
- Why?
- Because he's got such a lot of it.
437
00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:22,876
Well, you move in with him, then.
438
00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:26,435
I couldn't have offered you
money like that in 1954.
439
00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:30,632
I mean, a second lieutenant's wages -
you'd have had to go barefoot.
440
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:33,877
I could always have worn
your second-best boots.
441
00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:38,436
Anyway, if we hadn't lost touch
you wouldn't have asked me to live in sin.
442
00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:42,598
I'd have made an honest woman of you
and asked you to live in penury.
443
00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:45,837
That sounds like a village in Cornwall, penury.
444
00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:49,031
(Laughs) I suppose
people did live together then.
445
00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:51,071
Oh, yes, of course.
446
00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:54,310
Just more hush-hush, that's all.
447
00:26:54,360 --> 00:26:57,158
We didn't say, "This is my partner," then.
448
00:26:57,200 --> 00:26:59,270
What did we say?
449
00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:03,108
"This is my friend,"
or in some cases, "This is my lodger".
450
00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:08,194
But Judy wants more,
and it's nothing to do with money.
451
00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:10,231
- Commitment.
- Yes.
452
00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:12,669
It isn't wrong for a woman to ask for it.
453
00:27:12,720 --> 00:27:14,915
No. Of course it isn't.
454
00:27:19,440 --> 00:27:22,955
- Do you want a custard tart?
- No, I've had three today.
455
00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:27,149
Let's take it up.
There's a programme about diesel engines.
456
00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:30,909
- Do you like diesel engines?
- No, but I like the presenter.
457
00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:34,350
- You coming?
- Yes. I am, you know.
458
00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:36,630
- What?
- Committed.
459
00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:39,672
- Oh.
- I mean, I'm here, aren't I?
460
00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:42,631
Yes, you're here.
461
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:44,716
Which proves it.
462
00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:47,476
Which proves it.
463
00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:04,799
# You must remember this
464
00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:07,400
# A kiss is still a kiss
465
00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:10,830
# A sigh is just a sigh
466
00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:16,554
# The fundamental things apply
467
00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:20,354
# As time goes by
468
00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:26,353
# And when two lovers woo
469
00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:29,153
# They still say I love you
470
00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:32,112
# On that you can rely
471
00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:39,077
# The world will always welcome lovers
472
00:28:40,360 --> 00:28:48,153
# As time goes by #
473
00:28:48,203 --> 00:28:52,753
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