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1
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# You must remember this
2
00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:13,880
# A kiss is still a kiss
3
00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:16,753
# A sigh is just a sigh
4
00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:23,034
# The fundamental things apply
5
00:00:23,080 --> 00:00:27,232
# As time goes by #
6
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(Clears throat)
7
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(Clears throat)
8
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Nasty cough.
9
00:00:45,520 --> 00:00:48,159
I'm trying to find out
if anyone's in the bathroom.
10
00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:50,350
- Well, I'm not.
- I know you're not.
11
00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:52,595
I meant Judith or Sandy.
12
00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:56,431
Anyone in there?
13
00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:00,151
There's no one in there.
14
00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:03,591
I wasn't to know that, was I?
15
00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:07,235
Well, I should have thought
the silence spoke for itself.
16
00:01:07,280 --> 00:01:11,592
Why stand there coughing?
Why not just call out "Is anyone in there?"
17
00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:13,835
I wouldn't like anyone saying that to me.
18
00:01:13,880 --> 00:01:19,477
There's nothing worse than someone calling
that. It inhibits whatever you're doing.
19
00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:22,870
This happens to you a lot, does it?
20
00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:26,310
Not a lot, no, but I don't like it.
That's why I was coughing.
21
00:01:26,360 --> 00:01:29,955
From inside, it could have sounded like
somebody coughing as they passed.
22
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:33,595
No, it couldn't. I was coughing at the door.
23
00:01:35,320 --> 00:01:38,676
I've never heard of anyone
aiming a cough before.
24
00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:42,790
- Why are we having a peculiar conversation?
- You're peculiar.
25
00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:46,435
Is not wanting to burst in
on a lot of naked women peculiar?
26
00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:50,268
Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?
There's no chance of you bursting in on anyone.
27
00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:55,030
If I hadn't come along, you'd still be standing
there at lunchtime. With a very sore throat.
28
00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:57,548
It's all these women in the house, you see.
29
00:01:57,600 --> 00:02:01,479
It's Sandy. Just one extra
till she and Judy find a flat.
30
00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:03,670
Sandy does not suddenly make it
"all these women".
31
00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:06,154
All I wanted was a shower.
32
00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:09,795
Well, I'd go and have one now.
The bathroom's free.
33
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:17,155
- Anyone in there?
- (Lionel) Go away!
34
00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:22,193
I do not have a suspicious nature.
35
00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:24,879
I just asked why the two of you
got up so early.
36
00:02:24,920 --> 00:02:30,119
- Sheer enthusiasm for work.
- I just wanted to leave the bathroom clear.
37
00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:33,914
- I'm living with a pair of little angels.
- Oh, you are, you are.
38
00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:36,155
Plus we wanted to get to the paper early.
39
00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:40,716
If there are any decent flats, we want to be
at the estate agent's before he opens.
40
00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:45,629
I told you. You don't have to rush. We're
perfectly OK till you find somewhere you like.
41
00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:47,193
And Lionel?
42
00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:50,755
You weren't to know he has a thing
about cooking his own sprouts.
43
00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:54,156
I was just trying to help.
"Hard as cannonballs," he said.
44
00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:58,557
You cooked them properly.
He likes his sprouts the consistency of porridge.
45
00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:02,798
Be grateful you didn't pinch a custard tart.
That's practically a capital offence.
46
00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:05,718
Look, I don't want you two pussyfooting around.
47
00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:08,354
- He's not the lord of the manor.
- He does live here.
48
00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:11,756
- Well, so do you.
- Oh. We'd better go to work.
49
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:15,236
Now you make him sound like
the giant coming down the beanstalk.
50
00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:17,794
No. We're a bit much for him in the mornings.
51
00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:22,034
- Morning.
- Morning.
52
00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:27,553
Why do women
always get papers in such a mess?
53
00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:30,478
- (Both) Cheerio, then.
- See you later.
54
00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:32,954
Are we going to say goodbye?
55
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:35,355
Goodbye.
56
00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:42,235
- Is that some form of statement?
- Yes, it is.
57
00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:47,070
I've never heard anyone
make such a fuss over a few sprouts.
58
00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:50,237
It's not the sprouts. I told you.
It's all these women.
59
00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:53,670
Well, we're going to work.
When do the next lot arrive?
60
00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:58,589
Mrs Flack. I know she's not a lot,
but she seems like it sometimes.
61
00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:02,349
You've never really
come to terms with Mrs Flack, have you?
62
00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:08,236
You can't come to terms with Mrs Flack.
She never listens. She just talks and talks...
63
00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:09,872
and talks.
64
00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:13,515
- Do you want me to have a word?
- Oh, no, I don't think that's right.
65
00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:18,031
After all, it's me she's working for
so when all's said and done... Would you?
66
00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:27,914
- Mrs Flack.
- Good morning. (Laughs)
67
00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:33,949
I'm sorry I'm early but there was a bus strike.
68
00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:37,231
- Oh, I see.
- Is it all right if I go through?
69
00:04:37,280 --> 00:04:39,271
Yes, of course.
70
00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:43,996
Yes, only the bus strike was in New York,
you see.
71
00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:46,557
You live in Chiswick.
72
00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:51,116
But I didn't realise it was in New York
when I heard it on the radio last night.
73
00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:55,278
You know how it is when you're on your own.
You listen to the radio in bed
74
00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:58,596
and sometimes you doze off
and don't get things right.
75
00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:03,873
I just got it into my head that the bus strike
was here so I set off early to walk here.
76
00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:06,718
You didn't walk
when you found the buses were running.
77
00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:10,196
Oh, no. When I realised my mistake,
I hopped on one.
78
00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:13,118
- Which is why...
- I'm early. Yes, of course.
79
00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:14,878
I did feel a fool.
80
00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:18,515
I wouldn't worry.
It's the kind of thing that can happen to anyone.
81
00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:22,792
Mrs Flack, now that you are here,
I'd like a word regarding you and Mr Hardcastle.
82
00:05:22,840 --> 00:05:25,274
- You've been to New York.
- Once or twice, yes.
83
00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:29,199
Yes. Were you mugged?
Most people are, apparently.
84
00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:32,999
No. I must have been the exception.
85
00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:35,110
About you and Mr Hardcastle...
86
00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:39,915
He's been to New York to talk with the
American people about the script he's writing.
87
00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:43,191
Los Angeles, actually.
Regarding Mr Hardcastle's work...
88
00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:45,629
Oh, he's doing ever so well,
89
00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:48,911
except for sometimes
when he loses track of what he's saying.
90
00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:53,078
Yes, well, perhaps something makes him
lose track of what he's saying.
91
00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:55,680
- You went with him.
- Where?
92
00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:58,280
To Los Angeles. He told me.
93
00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:00,311
Did you see any film stars?
94
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,510
Er... No. Well, no, not really.
95
00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:06,633
You see, when you're working,
when you're trying to concentrate,
96
00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:09,274
it isn't good to have too many distractions.
97
00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:11,117
- Oh, I see.
- Good.
98
00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:13,469
So you didn't look for any.
99
00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:15,238
What?
100
00:06:15,280 --> 00:06:16,793
Film stars.
101
00:06:16,840 --> 00:06:21,755
I mean, if you'd gone looking for film stars, that
would have been a distraction, wouldn't it?
102
00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:23,870
- Well...
- (Lionel clears throat)
103
00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:26,036
Oh, will you excuse me?
104
00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:31,313
I used to like Warner Baxter
but I suppose he was before your time.
105
00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:33,874
Oh. Yes.
106
00:06:37,280 --> 00:06:39,840
- Did you have a word?
- Sort of. I had a sort of word.
107
00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:42,110
- And?
- I got sidetracked.
108
00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:43,434
That's what she does to me.
109
00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:47,075
But I've laid down foundations
for a sensible discussion.
110
00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:49,873
- Which you're going to have.
- I've got to go to work.
111
00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:51,114
Thanks very much.
112
00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:54,189
Incidentally, why is she so early?
113
00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:57,835
Do you remember Warner Baxter, Mr Hardcastle?
114
00:06:57,880 --> 00:06:59,996
Warner Baxter?
115
00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:02,634
- (Mumbles)
- See you later.
116
00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:05,069
Mrs Flack will explain why she's so early.
117
00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:09,511
You won't believe this
but it was because of a bus strike in New York.
118
00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:14,354
She did say a bus strike in New York,
didn't she?
119
00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:16,197
Bye.
120
00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:26,237
(Judith) Yes, Mr Milner,
that'll be absolutely fine.
121
00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:28,430
Thank you. Bye-bye.
122
00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:32,877
So why didn't she check
to see if there was a bus strike?
123
00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:37,550
Oh, I didn't get round to asking that.
She'd moved the conversation on by then.
124
00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:42,833
Once Mrs Flack moves the conversation on,
it's very difficult to get it back to where it was.
125
00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:46,270
- Poor old Lionel.
- He'll just have to be firm with her, that's all.
126
00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:47,594
Like you were?
127
00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:51,997
Well, it was the thought of her lying in bed
listening to the radio all on her own.
128
00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:54,156
Daisy's here. Can she see you?
129
00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:55,918
- Daisy?
- Mm.
130
00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:57,188
Yes, of course.
131
00:07:57,240 --> 00:08:01,153
- Lionel's dream secretary.
- You can see why, can't you?
132
00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:03,430
- Hello.
- Come in, Daisy. Sit down.
133
00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:06,836
Thank you. I feel silly.
134
00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:10,509
Oh, well, I wouldn't worry.
I've felt silly all morning. What is it?
135
00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:14,917
Well, may I come off your branch's books
and onto yours, please?
136
00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:17,030
- Why?
- Sally Curtis.
137
00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:22,598
- I was asking Daisy.
- Sally Curtis. I don't want to sound disloyal.
138
00:08:22,640 --> 00:08:25,791
You may have to
but we'll call it being frank. Go on.
139
00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:30,755
It's the jobs she gives me. They're all...
Well, it's always working for a man.
140
00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:35,635
And when I turn up, I always find
she's described me as bright and attractive.
141
00:08:35,680 --> 00:08:40,595
It's the attractive bit that doesn't seem
necessary. I don't see that it's relevant, do you?
142
00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:43,114
Well...
143
00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:47,073
I mean, you wouldn't describe a secretary
as bright and plain, would you?
144
00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:48,519
I wouldn't do that.
145
00:08:48,560 --> 00:08:54,556
I just get the feeling Sally Curtis is using me as
some showpiece. Honestly, I'm fed up with it.
146
00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,431
(Mouths)
147
00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:05,352
You know, Daisy, when I was a nurse,
the male patients use to flirt with me.
148
00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:09,439
- I used to get offended when they didn't.
- That was a long time ago, though.
149
00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:15,153
I wasn't in the Crimea with Florence Nightingale,
you know.
150
00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:17,839
- Sorry.
- But you're right. Times have changed.
151
00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:21,839
All right. I'll put you down on our books
and only describe you as "bright".
152
00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:23,393
I'm ever so grateful.
153
00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:32,313
What does "Give her to Lionel" mean?
154
00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:35,874
Er... Lionel. Mum's Lionel.
155
00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:38,514
You worked with him once.
You got on really well.
156
00:09:38,560 --> 00:09:43,509
Yes, well, I thought so. I only lasted a day,
then I was told I was unsuitable.
157
00:09:43,560 --> 00:09:47,917
Yes, well, that was a mix-up.
Anyway, Lionel's already got a secretary.
158
00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:49,518
Driving him up the wall.
159
00:09:49,560 --> 00:09:53,633
Anyway, Daisy, I should point out
that Lionel found you very attractive.
160
00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:58,708
I don't mind being found attractive.
I don't like being pre-sold as attractive.
161
00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:00,955
I think I see what you mean.
162
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:03,753
- Well, that's all fixed up, then.
- No, it isn't.
163
00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:08,078
Mrs Flack may be talkative,
but you can't just replace her for that.
164
00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:11,157
- No, of course you can't.
- Good. Sandy?
165
00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:13,316
Well, I thought it was a great idea.
166
00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:18,554
I would describe Sandy
as bright with exceptional hearing.
167
00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:21,478
Will you look
and see if there's anything for Daisy?
168
00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:26,150
Right. Come on, Daisy. Let's see
if we can find you a harmless old man.
169
00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:30,878
Lionel's a harmless old man.
170
00:10:32,360 --> 00:10:35,033
He's not old and he's certainly not harmless.
171
00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:38,436
In case you've forgotten, he tried to seduce you
when he met you.
172
00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:41,870
He didn't try very hard,
and he didn't know I was your daughter.
173
00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:46,516
Well, he still tried.
Anyway, Mrs Flack is perfectly efficient.
174
00:10:46,560 --> 00:10:50,269
If Lionel can't just quieten her down a bit,
then it's his affair.
175
00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:52,515
- You're the boss.
- Yes, I am.
176
00:10:52,560 --> 00:10:55,916
You know,
it's a good job Lionel didn't seduce me.
177
00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:59,999
If things had gone on from there,
he might have ended up calling you Mum.
178
00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:04,711
Come in, Alistair.
179
00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:06,398
Hi, Li.
180
00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:10,149
I'll leave you two to chat, then.
I'll find something to do.
181
00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:17,197
I'll finish telling you about my cousin
with the inflamed tendon later, Mr Hardcastle.
182
00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:18,719
She will, as well.
183
00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:22,548
I have to say, Li, it's difficult to know
where that lady's coming from.
184
00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:24,352
I just wish she'd go back.
185
00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:27,039
- Give her the big E.
- What?
186
00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:30,516
- The elbow.
- How do I do that?
187
00:11:30,560 --> 00:11:35,588
Simple. Look her in the eye and say, "Hey, we
don't mix. Let's jump into different bowls."
188
00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:38,837
I can barely understand that.
I'm sure Mrs Flack won't.
189
00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:43,111
OK. Try something subtler.
190
00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:45,833
Say, "You're sacked."
191
00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:48,394
I can't do that. There's no harm in the woman.
192
00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:52,194
- You're getting too cuddly, Li.
- I refute cuddly.
193
00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:55,437
- It's just that she...
- I have to say, Lionel.
194
00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:58,552
Staff problems are not a tolerant area for me.
195
00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:02,479
- You never have any, of course.
- Correct. They please or they leave.
196
00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:04,351
- That's my motto.
- I shouldn't have asked.
197
00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:08,279
- Can we move onto more interesting areas?
- Like what?
198
00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:10,151
Sex.
199
00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:13,949
- Sex?
- Right.
200
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,309
I've been talking to Mike and Sol in La.
201
00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:21,195
I know La is LA but I thought it was Mike
and Cy we were dealing with.
202
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,674
We were, but Cy is off the team.
203
00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:26,109
What, dropped for not scoring?
204
00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:34,275
- In a way, yes. Cy is in therapy.
- He was when we met in Los Angeles.
205
00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:37,949
I know, but when I say "in therapy" now,
the emphasis is on "in".
206
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:42,232
- You mean he's gone crackers?
- Let's just call it executive stress, hm?
207
00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:45,875
But that needn't rattle our rafters.
Sol, who's taken over from Cy,
208
00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:48,195
is even keener on your miniseries than Cy.
209
00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:52,279
Sol's read the draft of your first episode
and has gone crazy.
210
00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:55,198
What, he's gonna join Cy in his padded cell?
211
00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:58,191
I mean, he loves it.
212
00:12:58,240 --> 00:13:01,357
- But...
- Now why should there be a but?
213
00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:05,439
Because against my better judgment,
I'm getting used to this weird business.
214
00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:07,789
OK. But it's a mini but.
215
00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:10,832
Which brings us back to sex.
216
00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:15,192
I mean, the part in the script
where you and Jean... hey, hey.
217
00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:17,390
For the first time.
218
00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:18,429
Yes?
219
00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:22,029
Sol found it... How shall I put this?
220
00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:24,469
- As carefully as you can.
- Naturally.
221
00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:27,589
The word, Li, is dull.
222
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:30,791
Then the man has no imagination.
223
00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:33,957
It comes down
to what you actually put on the page, hm?
224
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:37,037
Sol found that it didn't leap out and hit him.
225
00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:39,230
- Well, it should.
- But it doesn't.
226
00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:42,352
- Then that's his hard luck.
- Wrong, Li. It's yours.
227
00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:45,472
Look. I've re-read it myself.
228
00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:50,469
And to be, like, super honest, it doesn't
actually say what happened that night.
229
00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:53,478
We slept together for the first time.
What do you think?
230
00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:56,990
- We're missing each other, aren't we?
- We frequently do.
231
00:13:57,040 --> 00:14:00,635
Look, mate. It's a love scene, hmm?
232
00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:07,392
And the sexiest line you've got in it is, er,
"Shall I ask for a morning wake-up call?"
233
00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:15,038
- Have another look at it, please.
- I refuse to be explicit.
234
00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:19,358
Nobody's talking explicit. Just X.
235
00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:23,109
Try a little rewrite. Just for me.
236
00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:26,994
- You mean Sol.
- And Sol. And the money.
237
00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:30,629
Now you're appealing to my finer nature.
238
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:35,991
Well, good night, Mrs Flack.
239
00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:40,439
What about something like
240
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:45,554
"She trembled
as he slowly unbuttoned her blouse.
241
00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:50,037
"It slid unnoticed to the floor as his hands
moved towards her..."
242
00:14:50,080 --> 00:14:51,911
Mrs Flack, please.
243
00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:55,396
- I'm not gonna write anything like that.
- It's on the right lines.
244
00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:58,557
- Don't you start.
- Are you sure you don't like my idea
245
00:14:58,600 --> 00:15:00,955
of putting lots of gasps in?
246
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,514
I'm not enamoured, no. I'll think of something.
247
00:15:03,560 --> 00:15:08,270
I'm sure you will. It's something
to look forward to tomorrow, isn't it?
248
00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:12,108
- Absolutely.
- That's what the late Mr Flack used to say.
249
00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:14,628
"There's always tomorrow," he used to say.
250
00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:17,956
- Did he really?
- Then one day there wasn't a tomorrow.
251
00:15:18,760 --> 00:15:24,392
- Not for him. Well, see you tomorrow.
- Yes, good night, Mrs Flack.
252
00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:29,958
I never did finish telling you
about my cousin's inflamed tendon, did I?
253
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,399
No.
254
00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:35,115
How we got on
to talking about steam engines I don't know.
255
00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:38,152
It's funny the turns conversation takes, isn't it?
256
00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:40,760
Yes, isn't it? Good night, Mrs Flack.
257
00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:46,272
Good night. I'll bring you up to date
on the inflamed tendon tomorrow, shall I?
258
00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:56,392
Thank you.
259
00:15:57,840 --> 00:16:00,308
Ah, Mrs Flack.
260
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:04,069
Hello, Miss Pargetter. Just off.
261
00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:08,238
- Would you like our cab?
- Oh, no. I can't run to taxis.
262
00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:12,068
I shall get the bus,
take Herriot for a walk and get our tea.
263
00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:16,079
- You're fond of Herriot, aren't you?
- Of course I am. He's my best friend.
264
00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:17,951
Good night. Good night.
265
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:19,513
(Both) Good night.
266
00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:22,279
There's something indomitable about Mrs Flack.
267
00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:25,392
Her best friend is a Yorkshire terrier.
268
00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:29,115
She's lonely.
Do you still think Daisy's a good idea?
269
00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:38,435
- Woo-hoo-hoo! Stay right there.
- Why?
270
00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:42,678
Because framed in that doorway,
you don't look a day over 30.
271
00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:46,269
I'd up the age. I've got two children with me.
272
00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:49,790
- Hey, this is too much.
- That's what Lionel says.
273
00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:52,115
Only he doesn't mean quite the same thing.
274
00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:58,030
- Where have you been lately?
- You know. Around.
275
00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:05,876
- Did I say something?
- No, you didn't. That's the trouble.
276
00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:09,674
- Excuse me. I'm going to get changed.
- I would say, "Would you like any help"
277
00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:11,438
Yes, I thought you might.
278
00:17:11,480 --> 00:17:14,552
I'm rather off the road here.
Have you moved in?
279
00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:17,114
- Only till I find a flat.
- My God.
280
00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:20,630
Living with three gorgeous women
and Lionel's still miserable.
281
00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:22,557
I undercooked his sprouts.
282
00:17:29,880 --> 00:17:33,156
I could live with undercooked sprouts
if I was in your shoes, Li.
283
00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:35,156
Yes, I'm sure you could.
284
00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:36,997
Look what I've made you.
285
00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:39,076
It looks revolting.
286
00:17:39,120 --> 00:17:41,588
Are those the words of a man
who'll try anything?
287
00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:43,676
- No, they're mine.
- Hello, Lionel.
288
00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:45,631
Hello.
289
00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:48,592
- Ah. Have you depressed him?
- Would I do that?
290
00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:53,111
Er, Mike and Sol want
some rewrites for the first episode.
291
00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:56,197
Oh, I see. Shouldn't that be Mike and Cy?
292
00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:59,357
- Mm-mm. Cy is yesterday.
- He's gone crackers.
293
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:02,995
Well, I can't say I'm surprised.
How many rewrites?
294
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:08,034
Minimal. Just one scene. If Li wasn't so fazed
by Mrs Flack, he'd have done them by now.
295
00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:11,868
I'm not fazed by Mrs Flack.
I'm being driven to distraction by Mrs Flack.
296
00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:14,309
- Oh, dear.
- Come on, mate. Pick yourself up.
297
00:18:14,360 --> 00:18:18,148
- Drink your Gigolo's Pardon.
- I don't even like the name of it.
298
00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:20,873
What exactly is Gigolo's Pardon?
299
00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:26,358
Espresso coffee with warm amaretto
which you drink through the cream on the top.
300
00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:28,470
- That sounds nice.
- You drink it, then.
301
00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:31,353
- Li.
- Oh, all right.
302
00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:36,676
As I said, you drink it.
303
00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:42,751
That's delicious.
304
00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:48,558
You know, I might give an espresso machine to
Judy and Sandy for a housewarming present.
305
00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:51,239
Judy and Sandy?
306
00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:54,989
Yes. They're getting a flat together.
307
00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:57,713
- Eventually.
- (Alistair) Oh, right.
308
00:18:57,760 --> 00:18:59,716
I see.
309
00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:03,469
Er... Would you... excuse me for a moment?
310
00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:07,230
- His feathers are ruffled.
- Why?
311
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:11,512
(Tuts and sighs)
Look. I'll pour you a nice large scotch
312
00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:14,199
and we'll call it Gigolo's Last Stand.
313
00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:20,040
- Flat hunting?
- Yes.
314
00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:23,152
I'd have thought
you'd prefer somewhere on your own.
315
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:25,350
I don't function very well on my own.
316
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:28,517
Well, you wouldn't be, some of the time.
317
00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:32,394
- But if you move in with Sandy...
- Clear off.
318
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:36,835
- Come again.
- Clear off.
319
00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:38,996
I'm fed up with you taking me for granted.
320
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:43,477
- Now when have I ever done that?
- Come to think of it, most of the time.
321
00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:46,193
- Now hold on, baby.
- No, you hold on, baby.
322
00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:48,196
I'm just supposed to be available.
323
00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:52,119
I don't get a peep out of you for weeks,
and then it's "Oh, you know. Around."
324
00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:55,232
On top of that, you don't want me
to share a flat with Sandy
325
00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:57,555
because it might interfere with your life.
326
00:19:57,600 --> 00:19:59,716
Well, I've got my life, Alistair.
327
00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:04,390
And if leading it denies me the pleasures
of your not-so-perfect body, tough.
328
00:20:10,360 --> 00:20:12,590
Are you off?
329
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:17,348
Positively rancid, apparently.
330
00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:22,599
- Row?
- Major.
331
00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:26,030
Don't worry. I'm not going to throw myself
on the bed and cry.
332
00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:30,153
Good. Cos actually,
I'd like you to take a look at your room.
333
00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:33,237
- Why?
- To see if you notice anything.
334
00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:42,559
- Rewrites?
- No, I'm writing to Mrs Flack.
335
00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:45,990
Mrs Flack? She was here half an hour ago.
336
00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:48,429
I told you. She doesn't listen to a word I say.
337
00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:51,836
I'm hoping the written word
might prolong her attention span.
338
00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:55,873
Oh, Lionel! You can't!
339
00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:59,993
Either she goes or I'm joining Cy
on his Californian funny farm.
340
00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:04,438
If I had a white feather,
I'd stick it up your nose.
341
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:07,677
- I beg your pardon.
- You haven't the nerve to tell it to her face.
342
00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:09,676
- You would have, I suppose.
- Yes.
343
00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:12,678
- What would you say?
- I'd say "See here, Mrs Flack."
344
00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:14,995
See here?
345
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:19,318
We're not talking about me, we're talking
about you. You can't write her a letter.
346
00:21:19,360 --> 00:21:22,670
Is this the man who played rugby
against the Parachute Regiment?
347
00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:25,359
Who stood up to a hostile mule in Korea?
348
00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:27,789
- They were blokes.
- The mule wasn't.
349
00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:30,434
Mules aren't one thing or another.
350
00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:33,199
Mrs Flack is a woman,
we can agree on that, can't we?
351
00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:35,879
- Cowardy custard.
- Now we're getting childish.
352
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:39,356
That from a man writing a letter
to someone he'll see in the morning?
353
00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:43,313
That carries absolutely no weight.
Lionel, you can't sack her.
354
00:21:43,360 --> 00:21:46,033
Working with her
is like trying to swim in treacle.
355
00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:48,071
- There's a way round it.
- What?
356
00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:52,749
- Well, I haven't worked it out yet.
- So why can't we just sack her?
357
00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:55,997
Because her best friend's a Yorkshire terrier.
358
00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:58,600
That's hardly a sound commercial reason.
359
00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:02,792
Well, I know it isn't. Because she's a lonely
woman who likes working for you.
360
00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:04,751
She likes talking to you.
361
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:07,792
I don't want her to talk to me.
I'm not a ladies' companion.
362
00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:11,310
You can't sack her, Lionel.
I honestly don't think you can do that.
363
00:22:11,360 --> 00:22:14,636
Er... Mum? Could we have a word?
364
00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:16,636
Yes, course.
365
00:22:18,120 --> 00:22:20,076
Oh. Do you mind, Lionel?
366
00:22:20,120 --> 00:22:22,270
No, I've finished working. You carry on.
367
00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:28,435
Oh, I see. It's girlie talk.
368
00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:32,034
- Girlie talk?
- I don't mind.
369
00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:34,640
I'll, er... I'll go and have a custard tart.
370
00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:39,555
Well, what is it?
371
00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:44,469
Well, it's a bit awkward.
And I don't believe it for a moment.
372
00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:48,593
Oh, I don't believe it for a moment either.
It's just a bit awkward.
373
00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:52,189
This conversation isn't exactly
zooming along, is it?
374
00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:55,755
Someone's been going through my things.
My clothes.
375
00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:57,358
And mine.
376
00:22:57,400 --> 00:23:00,551
Oh, you're not suggesting Lionel?
377
00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:04,275
- No.
- No, we don't believe that for a moment.
378
00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:08,472
- Then why did you want him out of the room?
- We didn't do it and we know you didn't.
379
00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:11,239
Well, nor would Lionel.
380
00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:14,192
Of all things,
I haven't got him down as a cross-dresser.
381
00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:17,869
- (Coughing)
- He's coughing again. Come in, Lionel.
382
00:23:20,360 --> 00:23:24,797
- Sorry to interrupt.
- It's all right. You know trivial girlie talk is.
383
00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:27,559
You've all got funny expressions on your faces.
384
00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:31,912
- Why did you interrupt?
- The kitchen has been rifled.
385
00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:33,996
I couldn't find my custard tarts.
386
00:23:34,040 --> 00:23:36,634
I'd hardly describe that as it being rifled.
387
00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:40,195
I hadn't finished.
I looked in another cupboard for them
388
00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:42,276
and then another and then it struck me.
389
00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:44,914
Everything's been moved. It's all rearranged.
390
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:48,032
- I didn't do it.
- Of course you didn't. None of you did.
391
00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:52,517
Cos you've been out all day.
Which leaves Mrs Flack.
392
00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:58,793
- Something I don't know about?
- Somebody's been going through clothes.
393
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:05,270
- Mrs Flack?
- But she was with you all day.
394
00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:08,596
No, not all day.
Not when I was talking to Alistair.
395
00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:12,633
Not when Alistair and I
went to the pub to seek sanctuary.
396
00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:16,559
I must say, I didn't think
she pinched clothes on the side.
397
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:20,275
Oh, no, nothing was stolen.
Things were just... rearranged.
398
00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:23,153
It seems she's a compulsive tidier.
399
00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:25,760
- Is this what you wanted to tell Jean?
- Yes.
400
00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:28,314
Why did you want me out of the room?
401
00:24:28,360 --> 00:24:32,035
- If I thought for one moment that you...
- Oh, don't be silly.
402
00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:35,231
The conversation was just a bit personal,
that's all.
403
00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:38,397
Oh, I see. Well, fair enough.
404
00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:42,393
Well, that brings us back to Mrs Flack,
doesn't it?
405
00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:47,070
- Well, she didn't actually do any harm.
- It is a bit weird though, isn't it?
406
00:24:47,120 --> 00:24:51,511
Mm. Where will it end? I tell you this,
I don't want her rearranging my pants.
407
00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:56,758
Nor mine. Well, that settles it. She has to go.
408
00:24:56,800 --> 00:25:00,156
- At last.
- Well, Lionel can tell her in the morning.
409
00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:09,116
I mean, it is possible to read a paper
without getting it into a state like this.
410
00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:10,718
I'll tell them.
411
00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:14,794
Well, I'll see you later then.
412
00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:17,149
I've never known the house empty so quickly.
413
00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:20,112
Now, you will talk to her.
You won't just write a letter.
414
00:25:20,160 --> 00:25:23,516
No, I'll talk to her.
Goodness knows what I'm gonna say.
415
00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:26,711
I should take
the "professionally incompatible" line.
416
00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:31,515
I shall have to. I certainly don't intend to go
into why she rearranges women's underwear.
417
00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:34,518
- You could mention the custard tarts.
- No, better not.
418
00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:37,028
It's in the same area, really, isn't it?
419
00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:41,191
Strange combination.
420
00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:45,756
Why do something like that? What makes
someone do something like that?
421
00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:49,554
It's not ill-intentioned.
It is loneliness, I suppose.
422
00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:54,390
- We're back on the Yorkshire terrier, are we?
- No. Look, I'll leave it up to you.
423
00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:57,830
- Oh, thanks very much.
- But let her down lightly.
424
00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:01,077
More advice
and I'll lock you in a cupboard till she arrives.
425
00:26:01,120 --> 00:26:03,839
There is a reward for all this, you know.
426
00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:06,917
- Daisy.
- Daisy?
427
00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:09,474
She's on my books now. You did like her.
428
00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:11,875
Yes, I did, I did.
429
00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:17,198
And if she's pretty, she's pretty.
I can live with that.
430
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:19,515
Yes, so can I.
431
00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:21,748
Yes.
432
00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:25,839
And she's very bright, as well. She's so helpful.
433
00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:28,235
You'll be able to get on with your rewrites.
434
00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:31,272
Mm. Hopefully, yes.
435
00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:35,677
Well, I forgot to ask. What bit
does this new chap want rewriting?
436
00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:38,473
- Oh, it's just a scene, really.
- Which scene?
437
00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:41,632
The bedroom scene.
438
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:45,230
- Oh, I see.
- Well, you did ask.
439
00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:47,271
Yes, I did ask.
440
00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:50,238
(Chuckles)
441
00:26:54,960 --> 00:26:57,758
Well, I'll talk to Daisy today, then.
442
00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:00,872
- Thank you.
- You're not to go soft on Mrs Flack.
443
00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:04,754
Nothing Mrs Flack can say or do
will make me go soft on her, I promise.
444
00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:06,552
She can...
445
00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:08,556
- Oh, lord...
- What?
446
00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:14,789
Look at me. It's Herriot's fault, bless him.
447
00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:19,470
His lead got twisted and I went over.
Broke an ankle.
448
00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:23,832
Still, here I am, ready to go.
449
00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:26,432
I've gone soft.
450
00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:28,357
So have I.
451
00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:34,556
Mrs Flack...
452
00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:39,628
# You must remember this
453
00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:42,592
# A kiss is still a kiss
454
00:27:42,640 --> 00:27:45,837
# A sigh is just a sigh
455
00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:51,714
# The fundamental things apply
456
00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:55,548
# As time goes by
457
00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:01,513
# And when two lovers woo
458
00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:04,199
# They still say I love you
459
00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:07,198
# On that you can rely
460
00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:14,151
# The world will always welcome lovers
461
00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:23,751
# As time goes by #
462
00:28:23,801 --> 00:28:28,351
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