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1
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♪ You must remember this
2
00:00:11,120 --> 00:00:13,714
♪ A kiss is still a kiss
3
00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:16,473
♪ A sigh is just a sigh
4
00:00:19,080 --> 00:00:22,993
♪ The fundamental things apply
5
00:00:23,080 --> 00:00:26,959
♪ As time goes by ♪
6
00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:38,712
- Lionel?
- Yes?
7
00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:40,791
I'd like to go out.
8
00:00:41,760 --> 00:00:43,876
What, now?
9
00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:45,757
No, not now. More often.
10
00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:49,231
We went out today.
11
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That was to the cooker showroom.
12
00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:53,598
That doesn't count.
13
00:00:53,680 --> 00:00:55,875
I mean to dinner, things like that.
14
00:00:57,280 --> 00:00:59,236
We went out for a curry last week.
15
00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:01,390
That wasn't last week,
it was a month ago.
16
00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:04,552
- Are you sure?
- Well, five weeks ago, to be precise.
17
00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:06,995
- As long ago as that?
- Yes.
18
00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:09,036
The weeks just fly by, don't they?
19
00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:13,750
Yes, they all seem to run into one -
not the days, the evenings.
20
00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:16,798
I mean, we have dinner,
we watch television, we go to bed.
21
00:01:16,880 --> 00:01:19,394
We can always try it in reverse order!
22
00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:26,955
Ignore me. I'm just having a moan.
23
00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:28,598
Fair enough.
24
00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:30,671
Well, I didn't mean ignore me!
25
00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:35,508
- Then why say it?
- I was hoping, obviously hopelessly,
26
00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:37,875
that you'd press me on the subject.
27
00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:40,076
- Oh.
- Don't feel you have to.
28
00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:43,197
Well, I obviously have to. So?
29
00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:46,397
Now you're only pressing me
because I asked you to.
30
00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:49,153
- I'm in a no-win situation.
- Oh, sorry.
31
00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:51,196
Ignore me.
32
00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:53,077
Fine.
33
00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:55,230
I was joking.
34
00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:58,030
You're bored, that's what you're saying.
35
00:01:58,120 --> 00:02:01,271
- Not with you.
- I'm the one you watch television with.
36
00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:04,432
It's just that there don't seem
to be any surprises lately.
37
00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:06,158
I see.
38
00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:08,276
And would you? No.
39
00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:11,033
- Would I what?
- Would you like a surprise?
40
00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:12,951
- Oh, Lionel!
- I know.
41
00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:16,715
Yes, as a matter of fact, I would.
Ask me when, I'll kick you out of bed.
42
00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:18,677
I wasn't going to.
43
00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:23,356
- Just some time.
- Times, actually.
44
00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:25,799
- Times.
- Mm.
45
00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:27,029
Yes.
46
00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:30,314
- Aaaaaargh!
- Aargh! God!
47
00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:33,397
Why on earth did you do that?
48
00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:38,156
I thought I'd just get the first surprise out
of the way to avoid waiting around for it.
49
00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:40,595
Not the sort of thing I had in mind.
50
00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:43,592
It's all I could come up with
on the spur of the moment.
51
00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:45,033
I will think of something.
52
00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:48,749
But I don't honestly consider myself
a very surprising sort of person.
53
00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:53,755
In Los Angeles, you disarmed
a crazed writer, I call that surprising.
54
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:57,037
It's not a situation that's likely
to repeat itself, is it?
55
00:02:57,120 --> 00:03:01,113
Not unless we find the Crazed Writers'
Club and go there a lot, no.
56
00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:06,953
- Oh, don't look like that.
- I was just thinking, that's all.
57
00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:09,600
I don't want you to really.
It'd be such a strain,
58
00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:11,716
with you trying to think of a surprise,
59
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:14,633
and me wondering when you will
and what it'll be.
60
00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:17,757
Is it really five weeks
since I took you out for that curry?
61
00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:21,389
It's five weeks and two days, actually.
62
00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:24,278
- I'll take you out for dinner tomorrow.
- Oh, good!
63
00:03:24,360 --> 00:03:26,316
Where would you... No.
64
00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:29,676
We won't have a curry. We'll go
somewhere we've never been before.
65
00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:31,876
- Lovely!
- Hm.
66
00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:34,997
Oh, it's Thursday tomorrow, I can't.
67
00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:37,275
- Why not?
- Something I want to watch on TV.
68
00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:43,750
- Morning!
- (Both) Morning!
69
00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:45,034
(Chuckling)
70
00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:47,917
What's the joke?
71
00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:50,389
We heard you scream last night.
72
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,436
- Oh.
- We're not asking why.
73
00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:56,399
Well, if you must know,
Lionel was giving me a surprise.
74
00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:01,353
- Was he?
- Not that kind of surprise.
75
00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:03,908
He suddenly roared and I screamed,
that's all.
76
00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:06,150
He hasn't taken to roaring, has he?
77
00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:08,800
- No, of course he hasn't.
- Well, why did he do it?
78
00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:13,556
Well, because I told him that life seemed
a bit samey recently, a bit flat,
79
00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:15,870
and the odd surprise
wouldn't come amiss.
80
00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:18,633
And Lionel roaring wasn't quite
what you had in mind.
81
00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:22,269
Well, he was joking. But I wish
I hadn't mentioned the word surprise.
82
00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:26,672
It's like saying, "tickle me when I least
expect it" - it's a strain on both of you.
83
00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:28,716
You mean Lionel planning a surprise
84
00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:31,394
knowing that you know
he's planning a surprise.
85
00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:33,789
And me knowing he knows, yes.
86
00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:37,077
Oh, I'll put him off the idea.
I'll tell him it was just a mood.
87
00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:40,755
- It wasn't though, was it?
- Well, I love Lionel dearly,
88
00:04:40,840 --> 00:04:44,753
but he's turning into a slippers and pipe
man a little early, that's all.
89
00:04:44,840 --> 00:04:48,355
- Take a lover.
- I'm saving that for a really rainy day.
90
00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:54,116
- Shouldn't you two be off at work?
- Why don't you come in with us?
91
00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:56,668
- What for?
- In your advisory capacity.
92
00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:59,149
What would you want me
to advise you about?
93
00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:01,515
- Erm...
- Well, there's always something.
94
00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:03,955
- Yeah, course there is.
- Lots of things.
95
00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:07,077
Off you go. Perhaps it was just a mood.
96
00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:10,436
- See you tonight then.
- All right.
97
00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:12,317
Bye.
98
00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:17,433
Mum, was Lionel ever
a surprising sort of chap?
99
00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:19,715
(Sharp intake of breath)
100
00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:21,836
He had his moments.
101
00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:26,951
- Morning, you two.
- (Both) Morning!
102
00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:30,229
(Both roar)
103
00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:38,996
I just got roared at.
104
00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:41,674
Well, they heard me scream,
and I told them why.
105
00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:44,194
- Coffee?
- Stay there, I'll get it.
106
00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:47,674
Would you like to go
to the lmperial War Museum?
107
00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:49,990
- The lmperial War Museum?
- Yes.
108
00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:53,356
- Why?
- Well, have a look round.
109
00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:54,919
It's all tanks and things.
110
00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:56,353
It was just a thought.
111
00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:59,955
Lionel, forget I ever said
the word surprise.
112
00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:03,316
If I were planning a surprise,
I hope I'd come up with somewhere
113
00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:05,755
more inventive
than the lmperial War Museum.
114
00:06:05,840 --> 00:06:08,957
- Sorry.
- Victoria and Albert Museum?
115
00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:11,918
Let's just forget surprises
altogether, shall we?
116
00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:13,513
Yes, probably best.
117
00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:15,033
So, are you going?
118
00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:17,509
- Where?
- The lmperial War Museum.
119
00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:18,953
Yes.
120
00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:21,315
I might say hello to the tanks and things.
121
00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:24,551
Don't stand still too long,
they might take you for an exhibit.
122
00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:28,428
Yes, subaltern,
Middlesex Regiment, Korean War.
123
00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:31,512
- Slightly the worse for wear.
- I think you're lovely.
124
00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:34,194
- Takes all sorts.
- Well, off you go then.
125
00:06:34,280 --> 00:06:38,068
- I haven't had my breakfast yet.
- Oh no! Sorry.
126
00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:39,991
Well, what would you like?
127
00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:41,911
I don't really know, let me think.
128
00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:45,749
Eggs and bacon,
I'll have eggs and bacon.
129
00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:50,670
Lucky you turned up,
there was no one in.
130
00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:52,716
Another minute, you'd have missed me.
131
00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:55,394
Yes. Go on through.
132
00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:59,716
So why does a guy
go to the lmperial War Museum?
133
00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:04,430
- Call it a whim. I'm at a funny age.
- So, what was it like?
134
00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:07,880
- Quite remarkable.
- Really?
135
00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:09,871
Yes, really.
136
00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:13,589
Sit down, Alistair.
Erm, can I get you something to drink?
137
00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:17,389
- Slim min, please, Lionel.
- Slim min.
138
00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:21,473
Oh! A note from Jean,
funny place to leave it.
139
00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:22,913
You found it.
140
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:25,195
"Gone shipping" - no that can't be right.
141
00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:30,229
"Gone shopping - you found the note,
you old boozer. Love, Jean."
142
00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:32,436
I had a sushi with Judy at lunch time.
143
00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:35,637
- Did you really?
- Which is why I wanted to talk to you.
144
00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:38,678
You're not persuading me to eat raw fish.
145
00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:40,671
(Laughs) No, no, no.
146
00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:42,716
The roaring in the night.
147
00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:47,390
Why is what I do in the night suddenly
everybody's business?
148
00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:48,879
I want to help.
149
00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:51,554
It's not like snoring,
I don't do it when I'm asleep.
150
00:07:51,640 --> 00:07:54,837
No, not the roaring - the root cause.
151
00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:58,799
You and Jean were talking about how
life's becoming a tad predictable.
152
00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:00,279
Is our bedroom bugged?
153
00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:01,793
Judy told me.
154
00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:04,394
Remind me to have a word with her
about discretion.
155
00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:06,710
She has your welfare at heart, so do I.
156
00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:09,439
Look, I know this is all
very well intentioned,
157
00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:10,873
but I don't need help.
158
00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:13,190
Jean told me this morning
it was just a mood.
159
00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:16,750
- Uh-oh.
- The word surprise is out of circulation.
160
00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:19,115
- Uh-oh.
- Why are you making those noises?
161
00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:21,953
Because you are committing
the ultimate sin -
162
00:08:22,040 --> 00:08:23,519
you are believing her.
163
00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:25,477
She's an honest person.
164
00:08:25,560 --> 00:08:26,709
Hey, I know that.
165
00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:30,031
On a scale of one to ten for honesty,
the lady rates eleven.
166
00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:31,599
But she's lying.
167
00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:36,155
Taken from the Alistair Deacon
Guide To Understanding Women, is it?
168
00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:38,913
A slim volume - I don't pretend
to understand women
169
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:42,356
but I am familiar
with the Please-Don't-Do-That syndrome.
170
00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:44,271
- I bet you are.
- Li, please.
171
00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:48,638
All right. And what is
this Please-Don't-Do-That syndrome?
172
00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:52,838
Let's see. You're out shopping
with your lady, right?
173
00:08:52,920 --> 00:08:56,595
And she falls in love
with a piece of jewellery, right?
174
00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:59,752
Now, this is some lady,
so you offer to buy it for her, right?
175
00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:04,759
- Possibly.
- Bear with me, Li, please.
176
00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:07,593
- And what does she say?
- "Ta"?
177
00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:09,272
"Ta"?
178
00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:13,433
All right, she probably says,
"It's very expensive, you shouldn't".
179
00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:16,637
Close. She says, "It's far too expensive,
you mustn't".
180
00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:18,358
Does she mean it?
181
00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:21,000
Look, this is all just so much
psychobabble.
182
00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:23,275
- Does she mean it?
- I don't even know her.
183
00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:27,512
Does Jean mean it when she says,
"No surprises"?
184
00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:30,672
If I'd come back a minute later,
I'd have missed you.
185
00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:34,309
- And we'd have been too late.
- Too late for what?
186
00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:36,595
- (Door opens)
- Shh!
187
00:09:36,680 --> 00:09:38,875
- (Jean) Are you back?
- In here.
188
00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:40,632
Oh, how were the tanks and things?
189
00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:43,678
- Oh, hello, Alistair.
- Hey, those ain't Tesco's.
190
00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:46,638
I bought one dress and then another.
I didn't intend to,
191
00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:49,553
but then I liked one and then another,
I thought why not,
192
00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:52,234
and I bought them both.
Ridiculously expensive.
193
00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:56,593
What was that look for?
194
00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:58,671
Look? I didn't do a look.
195
00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:01,149
- Women do buy dresses.
- I didn't say a thing.
196
00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:04,994
I'm going to try them on,
I hope I still like them.
197
00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:09,113
Well, what was that look for?
198
00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:13,034
That is the l-Don't-Know-Why-
l-Bought-Two-Dresses syndrome,
199
00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:18,669
- She is bored.
- So it has to be surprise time.
200
00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:22,639
Perhaps. But I'm not clanking
down the road in a suit of armour.
201
00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:27,594
Of course not.
You are taking her to Barbados.
202
00:10:27,680 --> 00:10:29,989
Barbados? When?
203
00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:31,911
How about... tomorrow?
204
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,353
Tomorrow?
205
00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:34,839
(Scoffs)
206
00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:38,070
- Could we do that?
- I'll fix everything.
207
00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:43,280
And remember, not a word to Jean
until the very moment before you leave.
208
00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:46,193
Surprise. Bye, Li.
209
00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:49,636
- I'll see you later.
- Right.
210
00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:53,508
Oh, now that one I like,
you look sensational.
211
00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:55,716
This is what I came in in.
212
00:10:57,160 --> 00:11:01,711
- Well, you look sensational anyway.
- Thank you. You're coming back later?
213
00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:04,678
Yes, yes. Just a few things to tidy up.
214
00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:06,716
You two have been doing housework?
215
00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:10,479
Nice one, nice one.
216
00:11:10,560 --> 00:11:14,553
Well, must run, places to go,
faces to talk to. Ciao!
217
00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:15,595
Bye.
218
00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:19,151
- I like them both.
- Who?
219
00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:22,073
- The dresses.
- Oh. Good.
220
00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:25,668
- You look a bit peculiar.
- Thank you.
221
00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:28,797
- What did Alistair want?
- Oh, this and that.
222
00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:31,394
- You know him.
- He says he's coming back later.
223
00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:32,993
- Yes.
- What for?
224
00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:35,594
Oh... this and that.
225
00:11:35,680 --> 00:11:38,148
- Would you like a drink?
- No, this and that what?
226
00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:40,117
- What?
- This and that what?
227
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:41,918
Oh.
228
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:45,390
Well, actually, he's trying to persuade me
to write another book.
229
00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:48,517
- Oh, what did you say?
- No, I said no.
230
00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:51,068
So why is he coming back later?
231
00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:53,116
To try again, I suppose.
232
00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:57,671
Perhaps he thinks that the longer the day
goes on, the weaker my resistance gets.
233
00:11:57,760 --> 00:11:59,478
Perhaps he does.
234
00:11:59,560 --> 00:12:02,074
- I bought a handbag too.
- Oh.
235
00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:04,515
- Did you? Good.
- I don't need another handbag!
236
00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:08,149
The why... It doesn't matter,
you can never have too many handbags.
237
00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:11,670
That was said with great authority.
238
00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:14,991
You still look peculiar,
are you sure everything's all right?
239
00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:16,798
Yes. Fine, really.
240
00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:18,836
- (Door closes)
- There are the girls.
241
00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:23,516
- Why the excitement?
- It's always nice to see them, isn't it?
242
00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:28,915
(Whispers) No, not in there,
I want to talk to you. Here.
243
00:12:30,760 --> 00:12:34,355
- Where are you going?
- Er, we decided to cook the dinner.
244
00:12:34,440 --> 00:12:36,192
Oh, that's nice.
245
00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:39,840
- Isn't it a bit early?
- Erm...
246
00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:43,469
- Yes, I suppose it is.
- I'll go up and get changed then.
247
00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:48,318
Yes, I'll go up and get changed as well.
248
00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:53,317
Where are you going?
249
00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:55,152
I'm going up to get changed as well.
250
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:59,037
- Why are you coming?
- I don't want to be left out!
251
00:13:03,560 --> 00:13:05,676
- Tomorrow?
- I know. Ridiculous, isn't it?
252
00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:08,991
I think it's really romantic,
two weeks in Barbados!
253
00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:13,198
It had to be these two weeks. Alistair
said it's the only time the villa's free.
254
00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:16,795
- I'm glad you said yes.
- Yeah, so am I, I think.
255
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:18,108
What about packing?
256
00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:19,952
Oh, it doesn't take me long.
257
00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:21,758
I meant Jean.
258
00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:26,072
You can't just wake a woman up and
say, "You've got half an hour to pack".
259
00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:28,390
- Can't you?
- No, of course you can't.
260
00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:31,313
Mum would go to pieces,
she'd pack all the wrong stuff,
261
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:33,356
then you'd be off to a bad start.
262
00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:37,638
All right, I'll sneak upstairs
and pack a case for her later.
263
00:13:39,880 --> 00:13:41,233
It's a bad idea, is it?
264
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:44,756
- That's a terrible idea.
- You wouldn't know what to pack.
265
00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:46,990
No, you're right.
266
00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:50,072
Women always talk about little tops
when they go on holiday.
267
00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:52,515
You two can do it,
you know what she'd take.
268
00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:54,158
Yeah. Yeah, we could.
269
00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:58,597
But how would we pack a case with her
in the house? She'd be bound to hear us.
270
00:13:58,680 --> 00:14:00,511
Oh, why don't I just tell her now?
271
00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:03,353
- No, don't give up now.
- Well, what do we do then?
272
00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:06,273
- Think of something.
- (Sighs)
273
00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:11,034
- Erm...
- Oh, how's the dinner going?
274
00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:14,317
- Oh, very well.
- You never did change.
275
00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:16,356
- Didn't I?
- You just sat on the bed
276
00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:20,877
- and talked to me while I changed.
- I don't really know why I went up.
277
00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:23,190
What say we go out to eat this evening?
278
00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:26,477
Well, the girls are cooking dinner.
279
00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:29,438
Yes, I know,
but it's nothing very exciting.
280
00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:31,909
Why should I want an exciting dinner?
281
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:35,390
I don't know.
Break the mould a bit I suppose.
282
00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:38,432
Lionel.
283
00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:45,228
We had this conversation about dinner
last night and I said no thank you.
284
00:14:45,320 --> 00:14:46,799
Why are you asking me again?
285
00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:48,916
Women sometimes change their minds.
286
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:51,389
I said I wanted to watch
something on TV.
287
00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:55,951
- What, that serial thing?
- It's not a "serial thing", it's a serial.
288
00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:58,474
I couldn't work out who was who.
289
00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:01,711
I'm not surprised, you slept through
most of the first episode.
290
00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:03,233
They're sure to repeat it.
291
00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:05,914
- Well, let's go out to dinner tomorrow.
- We can't.
292
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:10,357
- Why?
- Well, um...
293
00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:14,638
- We could, yes.
- Well, make your mind up.
294
00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:16,756
I have. Tomorrow we shall have dinner
295
00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:20,389
somewhere where we've never had
dinner before. That's a promise.
296
00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:22,471
Oh! All right.
297
00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:25,596
Right then.
298
00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:30,519
Well, I'll go and get the sprouts on.
They never give them long enough.
299
00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:32,795
- (Doorbell)
- I'll get it.
300
00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:35,633
If that's Alistair,
stand firm about another book.
301
00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:38,393
- What?
- (Quietly) It doesn't matter.
302
00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:42,036
Shh!
303
00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:44,111
We are all systems go.
304
00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:48,432
Tickets, travellers' cheques,
and a car will pick you up in Bridgetown.
305
00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:50,988
- I'm very grateful.
- Hey, my pleasure.
306
00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:55,160
- What are you whispering about?
- It's a surprise.
307
00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:56,639
- What?!
- What?
308
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:03,516
- For Judy.
- Oh, how lovely! Well, come in!
309
00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:05,955
I'll just see to the sprouts.
310
00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:10,389
Well, sit down, Alistair.
311
00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:12,436
What's the surprise for Judy?
312
00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:15,832
Oh, that!
313
00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:18,229
I'm planning to fly her to Paris.
314
00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:20,834
For lunch. Tomorrow.
315
00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:22,751
- Lunch?
- Yes.
316
00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:26,917
Oh, how lovely!
317
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:28,797
Oh, I wish...
318
00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:32,356
- You wish what?
- Forget it.
319
00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:36,911
Did I hear Li say sprouts?
320
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:39,798
Yes. He and the girls are cooking dinner.
321
00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:41,871
Stay and have some, if you're not busy.
322
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:46,112
Oh, I'd like that.
Are you sure there'll be enough?
323
00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:49,317
Oh yes, when Lionel cooks,
there's always more than enough.
324
00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:51,470
He tends to think in army portions.
325
00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:56,118
- Good old Li.
- Yes.
326
00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:58,111
Alistair, do me a favour.
327
00:16:58,200 --> 00:16:59,952
- Anything.
- Leave him alone.
328
00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:06,233
Pardon?
329
00:17:06,320 --> 00:17:08,880
Well, he's happy.
He's perfectly content as he is.
330
00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:11,713
I hate to admit this,
but I'm not following you.
331
00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:14,633
- Don't pester him to write another book.
- I'm not!
332
00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:18,872
This morning Lionel said you were trying
to get him to write another book.
333
00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:22,355
Oh, that.
334
00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:25,796
That wasn't pestering -
that was just a gentle nudge.
335
00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:28,633
Well, no more nudging then,
however gentle.
336
00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:31,757
- You've got it.
- When are you telling Judy about Paris?
337
00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:34,479
Oh, er, tomorrow.
338
00:17:34,560 --> 00:17:38,917
Surprises are always best left
till the very last moment.
339
00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:42,475
Yes. I suppose so.
340
00:17:44,360 --> 00:17:46,112
Mum must be getting old
341
00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:50,113
if she'd rather stay in and watch a serial
on television than go out to dinner.
342
00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:53,237
- Well, I did my best.
- Is it a loud serial?
343
00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:56,790
I don't think it can be,
it sent me to sleep. Why?
344
00:17:56,880 --> 00:18:00,714
Well, this packing. I suppose
we could try tiptoeing about upstairs
345
00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:03,234
but if it's one of those quiet
programmes...
346
00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:06,153
- Phew! Should have warned me, Li.
- What about?
347
00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:08,834
- My cover story for being here earlier.
- Oh.
348
00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:13,675
It's all right, I managed to squeeze
out of it and I'm staying to dinner.
349
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:17,194
You can rush into my arms, if you like.
350
00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:19,271
Solve our problems and we just might.
351
00:18:19,360 --> 00:18:20,759
Name the problems.
352
00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:24,515
We wanted Mum out of the house so we
could do her packing for tomorrow.
353
00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:26,352
She wants to watch television.
354
00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:28,351
Mm, I see.
355
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:30,351
I shall need a second or two on this one.
356
00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:33,512
- As long as that?
- Don't be sarcastic, Lionel.
357
00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:35,477
- We can't think of anything.
- I can.
358
00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:37,994
Give up the idea of secret packing
and tell Jean.
359
00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:40,230
- (Girls) No!
- Hold everything!
360
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:42,072
I'm about to be brilliant.
361
00:18:43,120 --> 00:18:45,190
- Is Jean a heavy sleeper?
- Fairly.
362
00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:48,511
We can't bang about and pack a suitcase
with her in the same room.
363
00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:50,909
But what if it weren't in the same room?
364
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:53,434
How would we get the clothes
out of her wardrobe?
365
00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:56,956
No, I mean, what if Jean doesn't sleep
in her own room tonight?
366
00:18:57,040 --> 00:18:58,553
And just how do we manage that?
367
00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:01,916
Wait till she's asleep and dump her
on the landing?
368
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,639
- Something a little more subtle, I think.
- What?
369
00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:07,913
Haven't thought of it yet.
370
00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:12,792
(Romantic music on TV)
371
00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:22,474
- (Sighs)
- Was quiet, wasn't it?
372
00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:24,676
What, quiet as in boring?
373
00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:28,673
No, quiet as in not having
a lot of noise in it.
374
00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:32,192
What a funny thing to say!
375
00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:35,750
I think the sister with the limp
is at the bottom of it.
376
00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:38,229
Course not,
she couldn't cope with the stairs!
377
00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:40,390
Maybe it's a fake limp.
378
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:43,278
She fell off a horse when she was five.
379
00:19:43,360 --> 00:19:45,112
- When?
- Last week.
380
00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:48,036
I didn't watch it last week.
381
00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:50,839
Don't jump to conclusions
about fake limps then!
382
00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:53,956
What's Lionel and Alistair doing?
383
00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:56,190
Having quality guy time in the kitchen.
384
00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:59,431
- (Lionel) Oh, my God!
- What is it?!
385
00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:02,318
Could somebody lend me a hand?
Alistair's fallen over.
386
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:03,355
Is he hurt?
387
00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:06,637
The state he's in,
he's feeling no pain whatsoever.
388
00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:10,759
♪ Please release me, let me go
389
00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:13,912
- # For I don't... #
- For goodness' sake!
390
00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:18,154
Have I shrunk?
391
00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:21,835
Or have you all... got very tall?
392
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:24,753
- Alistair Deacon, you're drunk.
- I've shrunk!
393
00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:28,628
- And I'm drunk as a skunk!
- This is your fault!
394
00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:31,234
I'm not his father.
He was fine sitting down.
395
00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:33,834
- He's sitting down now.
- I'm not a skunk!
396
00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:36,434
I am a mole and I live in a hole.
397
00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:38,351
Right, let's get him up, come on.
398
00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:41,079
- # Up, up and away, in my... #
- Be quiet, Alistair!
399
00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:42,513
Shh! Shh!
400
00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:44,352
♪... beautiful balloon ♪
401
00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:48,513
- What shall we do?
- Take him upstairs and put him to bed!
402
00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:50,591
- Very well.
- Come on, Mr Mole.
403
00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:52,432
No, no, no, please!
404
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:57,837
- This is guy stuff.
- It's all right, I can manage.
405
00:20:57,920 --> 00:21:00,150
I wish you were my father, Li.
406
00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:05,390
- Keep walking!
- # Comrades, comrades
407
00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:08,040
♪ Ever since we were boys
408
00:21:08,120 --> 00:21:10,998
♪ Sharing in life's sorrows
sharing in life's joys ♪
409
00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:12,513
You're overacting.
410
00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:16,559
♪ Sharing in life's sorrows
sharing in life's joys ♪
411
00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:22,078
I can't understand it. He only had
two glasses of wine at dinner.
412
00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:25,630
But they had another two bottles
while we were watching that serial.
413
00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:29,599
- Why would he do that?
- Boys will be boys, I suppose.
414
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:33,389
- And so will grown men sometimes.
- Lionel seems perfectly all right.
415
00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:37,439
Well, you've tasted his chilli con carne -
he's got guts of iron.
416
00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:39,954
- Sleeping like a baby.
- I'm not surprised.
417
00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:42,508
Who's room's he in, Sandy's or Judy's?
418
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:45,068
- Ours.
- Ours?
419
00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:47,628
I didn't want to barge about
in the girls' rooms.
420
00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:50,837
- Where are we going to sleep?
- No problem, you have my room,
421
00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:53,354
- I'll sleep in with Sandy.
- It's a single bed.
422
00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:56,113
- We'll manage.
- I'm talking about us.
423
00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:59,988
We can squeeze in. If you're really
worried, I can always sleep on the floor.
424
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:02,469
And get that martyred look?
No, thank you.
425
00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:06,075
Oh, we'll manage - it's just all so silly.
426
00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:11,836
- It worked!
- You'll get Mum to sleep
427
00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:13,638
as soon as possible, won't you?
428
00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:20,152
What do you expect me to do,
sing her a lullaby?
429
00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:22,754
Just knock on our door
when she's asleep.
430
00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:25,354
For goodness' sake,
don't fall asleep yourself.
431
00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:27,158
I suppose this is all worth it.
432
00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:31,392
- Do you want a punch on the nose?
- Two punches on the nose.
433
00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:33,436
Course it's worth it.
434
00:22:58,000 --> 00:22:59,353
(Knock on door)
435
00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:02,398
- You were a long time!
- She wouldn't go to sleep.
436
00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:05,040
- Now let's get packing.
- I'd better come with you.
437
00:23:05,120 --> 00:23:06,473
- Why?
- Well...
438
00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:08,516
You're a dying breed, Lionel.
439
00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:11,831
Look, you get back to bed with Mum,
just in case she stirs.
440
00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:16,994
I just hope she doesn't spread out or I'll
never be able to get back into bed again.
441
00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:27,876
Now, is this a fantasy,
or is this a fantasy?
442
00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:32,511
- If it is, it's a very peculiar one.
- Two beauties creeping into my room?
443
00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:35,751
- And packing a suitcase?
- Takes all sorts, I suppose.
444
00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:38,308
Here, let me do that.
445
00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:43,356
- It's heavier than it looks.
- Come on.
446
00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:45,192
There must be something in it.
447
00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:46,429
Shh!
448
00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:51,231
- It's all right.
- (Jean) I tell you, I heard a thump.
449
00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:53,993
- (Lionel) You imagined it.
- Quick, lights.
450
00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:05,074
- (Shouts) Let's just go back to bed!
- (Whispers) Not so loud!
451
00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:13,716
Look, he's fallen out of bed.
452
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:17,315
- That's all right, come on.
- No, we can't just leave him like that!
453
00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:20,358
Well, if we wake him up,
he might start singing again.
454
00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:23,238
- He's sound asleep.
- Yes, well come on.
455
00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:25,675
- Come on.
- Oh, Lionel!
456
00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:30,233
(Alistair) All clear!
457
00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:32,993
Right. Let's ride our luck
and get cracking.
458
00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:36,277
No, hang on, we've got to give Mum
time to get back to sleep.
459
00:24:36,360 --> 00:24:38,112
(Groans)
460
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:46,833
Might as well have a lie-down
while we're waiting.
461
00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:50,829
- Be on their way by now.
- I'll never forget Mum's face
462
00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:51,869
- Be on their way by now.
- I'll never forget Mum's face
463
00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:54,633
when Lionel told her. Thanks, Alistair.
464
00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:57,837
Hey, I got the fantasy of two beauties
creeping into my room,
465
00:24:57,920 --> 00:24:59,831
what more could a guy ask for?
466
00:24:59,920 --> 00:25:01,478
(Door clatters)
467
00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:04,028
- That's the front door.
- Oh, no.
468
00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:06,155
(Jean sighs)
469
00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:09,112
- Hello!
- Hello.
470
00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:12,158
- Why?
- I double-checked everything.
471
00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:14,390
I know you did, Alistair, but I didn't.
472
00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:16,436
Not your fault, you couldn't have known.
473
00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:18,715
- Known what?
- My passport's out of date.
474
00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:24,872
Well, it's the last time
I ever try to arrange a surprise.
475
00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:28,919
You did brilliantly. You all did brilliantly.
476
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:32,117
- Never mind sounds totally inadequate.
- Never mind.
477
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:35,351
Don't unpack! You are leaving
for Barbados tomorrow.
478
00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:37,670
- How? We can't.
- If Sandy and I stand in line
479
00:25:37,760 --> 00:25:40,911
at the passport office all day,
we'll come home with a new one.
480
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:44,117
I make a few calls, change the travel
and ticket arrangements.
481
00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:46,475
You can make sure we packed
the right things.
482
00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:48,312
And we get some sleep tonight.
483
00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:52,029
- OK, troops, move out.
- How lovely!
484
00:25:52,120 --> 00:25:54,190
- They're good kids.
- Kids?
485
00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:59,957
From where I stand, yes. Talking of kids,
I've got another surprise for you.
486
00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:02,429
You're not pregnant?
487
00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:07,074
I was going to wait
until we got to Barbados,
488
00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:09,276
but I don't want to save it till then.
489
00:26:09,360 --> 00:26:10,713
What is it?
490
00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:13,360
- The lmperial War Museum.
- What about it?
491
00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:16,352
Well, they had a BFPO exhibition on.
492
00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:18,431
Is that a tank?
493
00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:21,592
No, it's not a tank -
British Forces Post Office.
494
00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:23,875
- Oh.
- Letters home from the front,
495
00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:28,636
- to wives and sweethearts.
- Well, sorry, but I don't...
496
00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:33,795
- The letter?
- Yes.
497
00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:36,394
There it was, all faded in a glass case.
498
00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:42,673
A letter from Second Lieutenant
Hardcastle to Nurse Jean Pargetter.
499
00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:44,352
Posted in Korea.
500
00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:48,433
But it never arrived. How could it have
ended up in the lmperial War Museum?
501
00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:50,954
- I haven't any idea.
- We've got to see it.
502
00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:53,793
It's all right -
they've photocopied it for me.
503
00:26:58,200 --> 00:26:59,519
Ah!
504
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:01,909
There.
505
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:03,353
Sorry it's a bit late.
506
00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:08,438
"My darling Jean..."
507
00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:18,196
What's that word?
508
00:27:19,360 --> 00:27:21,112
Er..."miracle".
509
00:27:25,360 --> 00:27:26,713
Ah!
510
00:27:28,120 --> 00:27:30,634
- If I'd have got that...
- No ifs.
511
00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:35,193
Oh, it's a beautiful letter, Lionel.
512
00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:38,270
You really did love me.
513
00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:41,192
I still do.
514
00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:44,555
Oh!
515
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:55,396
♪ Moonlight and love songsnever out of date
516
00:27:56,640 --> 00:28:00,713
♪ Hearts full of passionjealousy and hate
517
00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:06,590
♪ Woman needs manand man must have his mate
518
00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:11,117
♪ That no one can deny
519
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:17,758
♪ It's still the same old storya fight for love and glory
520
00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:21,355
♪ A case of do or die
521
00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:27,672
♪ The world will always welcome lovers
522
00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:37,791
♪ As time goes by ♪
523
00:28:37,841 --> 00:28:42,391
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