Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,327 --> 00:00:02,327
Previously on Another Period
2
00:00:02,602 --> 00:00:04,101
I'm leaving Bellacourt.
3
00:00:04,170 --> 00:00:06,070
You are the head butler now.
4
00:00:06,138 --> 00:00:07,872
We are brother and sister!
5
00:00:07,940 --> 00:00:09,840
- It's over, Frederick.
- No.
6
00:00:09,909 --> 00:00:12,977
You're a useless, unlovable,
vile, tacky little thing.
7
00:00:13,045 --> 00:00:15,346
- [SCREAMING]
- [BODY THUDS]
8
00:00:15,414 --> 00:00:16,814
[CRYING]
9
00:00:16,883 --> 00:00:18,315
[SPRIGHTLY MUSIC]
10
00:00:18,384 --> 00:00:19,411
What is it?
11
00:00:20,119 --> 00:00:22,033
It's... a cone
12
00:00:22,361 --> 00:00:24,245
of iced cream!
13
00:00:24,385 --> 00:00:26,089
It's just in from Paris.
14
00:00:26,365 --> 00:00:29,566
Oh, I get it. Your tongue is the spoon.
15
00:00:30,353 --> 00:00:31,435
[CRUNCHING]
16
00:00:33,539 --> 00:00:34,670
Thank you.
17
00:00:35,341 --> 00:00:37,240
They've arrived! They've arrived!
18
00:00:37,309 --> 00:00:39,643
The invitation to Celery Savoy Bellacourt's
19
00:00:39,712 --> 00:00:41,578
masquerade ball have arrived.
20
00:00:41,647 --> 00:00:43,046
Ooh! Maybe I'll wear
21
00:00:43,115 --> 00:00:44,915
Cleopatra's menstrual napkins as a mask.
22
00:00:44,984 --> 00:00:46,283
New and used.
23
00:00:46,352 --> 00:00:48,185
I wanna wear Blanche's skin as a mask.
24
00:00:48,253 --> 00:00:50,153
Peepers, will you get my face scissors?
25
00:00:50,222 --> 00:00:51,989
My face is not removable.
26
00:00:52,057 --> 00:00:54,057
Yes, uh, Miss Beatrice, might I remind you
27
00:00:54,126 --> 00:00:56,593
I am Garfield, and I
am the head butler now?
28
00:00:56,662 --> 00:00:58,462
We call all our butlers Peepers.
29
00:00:58,530 --> 00:01:01,431
Yes. It's easier than
remembering a new name.
30
00:01:01,456 --> 00:01:02,517
Yes, of course.
31
00:01:02,542 --> 00:01:04,067
We're opening our own envelopes now?
32
00:01:04,136 --> 00:01:05,609
What are we, co-miners?
33
00:01:06,538 --> 00:01:09,228
I can't wait to seduce Colonel
Beauregard Trimbald at the ball.
34
00:01:09,253 --> 00:01:11,587
"Kernel"? Is he a man or is he a corn?
35
00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:14,571
He's the Toilet King of
Tallahassee, and he's available.
36
00:01:15,459 --> 00:01:17,245
How do you even eat this?
37
00:01:17,245 --> 00:01:18,244
[HUFFS]
38
00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:22,615
"Cordially not invited"?
39
00:01:23,097 --> 00:01:24,760
Why wouldn't Celery invite us?
40
00:01:24,966 --> 00:01:27,889
Don't tell me she's still
mad because I impaled her sister
41
00:01:27,889 --> 00:01:29,302
crotch-first at last year's
42
00:01:29,370 --> 00:01:30,640
Winter Wonderland Reindeer Roasting Ball.
43
00:01:31,408 --> 00:01:33,275
- People change!
- It's true.
44
00:01:33,343 --> 00:01:34,843
I once saw a person change from being
45
00:01:34,912 --> 00:01:36,745
"not on fire" to "on fire."
46
00:01:37,251 --> 00:01:38,346
It was because of me.
47
00:01:38,415 --> 00:01:40,997
Um, if you're not going to
the ball, could we stop now?
48
00:01:41,285 --> 00:01:43,351
We are going to that ball.
49
00:01:44,388 --> 00:01:45,935
[CRUNCH]
50
00:01:46,290 --> 00:01:48,723
Blanche, you got ice cream on my mask!
51
00:01:50,027 --> 00:01:52,394
? I want the money, I want the fame ?
52
00:01:52,462 --> 00:01:54,763
? I want the whole world to know my name ?
53
00:01:54,831 --> 00:01:57,132
? This is mine, I got to get it ?
54
00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:59,601
? I got to get it, got, got to get it ?
55
00:01:59,670 --> 00:02:01,069
? "Another Period" ?
56
00:02:02,147 --> 00:02:04,387
Synced and corrected by louvette
www.addic7ed.com
57
00:02:04,641 --> 00:02:06,107
In a surprising turn of events,
58
00:02:06,176 --> 00:02:08,476
turns out life outside Bellacourt Manor
59
00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:09,978
can be deeply relaxing.
60
00:02:10,047 --> 00:02:11,146
No, Shenandoah,
61
00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:13,315
the proper technique for making acorn mush
62
00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:15,650
is with a loose wrist.
63
00:02:15,719 --> 00:02:19,321
Let your wrist flow like a bounding elk.
64
00:02:19,841 --> 00:02:22,257
Hmm? Oh! [CHUCKLES] Me?
65
00:02:22,326 --> 00:02:23,592
No, yes, I've been
66
00:02:23,660 --> 00:02:25,927
the head butler for two weeks now, and...
67
00:02:25,996 --> 00:02:29,531
[CHUCKLES] It's been quite... relaxing.
68
00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:30,832
- Garfield!
- Yes?
69
00:02:30,901 --> 00:02:32,133
We have an emergency!
70
00:02:32,202 --> 00:02:33,835
We ran out of cacao for the ganache,
71
00:02:33,904 --> 00:02:36,638
and Miss Beatrice is holding
her breath until we get more.
72
00:02:36,707 --> 00:02:38,273
Where is the swan fat?
73
00:02:38,342 --> 00:02:40,375
Oh, you know Lady Dodo will only eat birds
74
00:02:40,444 --> 00:02:42,143
if they're fried in the fat of other birds.
75
00:02:42,212 --> 00:02:44,813
Garfield! Where's the goddamn lam�
76
00:02:44,881 --> 00:02:46,982
for Frederick's golden shoulder pads?
77
00:02:47,050 --> 00:02:49,985
A week ago, I requested
French rolling pins.
78
00:02:50,053 --> 00:02:52,621
French! These break off
in a sphincter immediately!
79
00:02:52,689 --> 00:02:54,189
- Don't smell that!
- We need answers.
80
00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:55,388
Garfield!
81
00:02:55,726 --> 00:02:57,125
Weren't you just saying that there's cacao
82
00:02:57,194 --> 00:02:59,194
hidden behind the turnips
in the root cellar?
83
00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:01,896
Yes! Uh, that's what I always say!
84
00:03:01,965 --> 00:03:03,264
And weren't you also saying
85
00:03:03,333 --> 00:03:05,066
to give Lady Dodo an absinthe lollipop
86
00:03:05,135 --> 00:03:06,901
until we can slaughter
and render the swans?
87
00:03:06,970 --> 00:03:08,370
And the lam� is in the lam� closet,
88
00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:09,804
between the silver and the ivory.
89
00:03:09,873 --> 00:03:13,141
Uh, I... don't really
give a shit about that.
90
00:03:13,210 --> 00:03:15,043
And Dr. Goldberg mustn't be allowed
91
00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:17,216
access to any long tools.
92
00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:20,548
Yes, that's... right!
That's what I was saying.
93
00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:22,050
Back to work, everyone!
94
00:03:22,119 --> 00:03:24,084
Oh, Flobelle, Flobelle. Um...
95
00:03:24,521 --> 00:03:27,022
I just wanted to thank you
for helping me slightly,
96
00:03:27,090 --> 00:03:28,890
in a very small way.
97
00:03:28,959 --> 00:03:30,825
We make a good team, Garfield.
98
00:03:30,894 --> 00:03:33,196
Yes. Team Garfield.
99
00:03:33,863 --> 00:03:36,998
Well, back to work! Scoot along, let's go!
100
00:03:37,067 --> 00:03:38,633
That's a good girl.
101
00:03:38,702 --> 00:03:42,270
[ELECTRONIC WALTZ MUSIC]
102
00:03:42,339 --> 00:03:49,344
?
103
00:03:50,914 --> 00:03:53,014
Can you please stop what you're doing
104
00:03:53,083 --> 00:03:55,316
so we can discuss your
mission for the night?
105
00:03:55,385 --> 00:03:56,818
To be the queen of the dance floor!
106
00:03:56,887 --> 00:03:59,187
No, to form a political alliance
107
00:03:59,256 --> 00:04:00,488
with Colonel Trimbald.
108
00:04:00,557 --> 00:04:01,890
He's the most powerful member
109
00:04:01,958 --> 00:04:04,025
of the National Restroom Association.
110
00:04:04,094 --> 00:04:06,194
The N.R.A. You know, "Big Toilet."
111
00:04:06,475 --> 00:04:07,629
Stop dancing.
112
00:04:08,072 --> 00:04:09,365
I need you to stop.
113
00:04:09,433 --> 00:04:10,398
You're still dancing.
114
00:04:10,467 --> 00:04:11,721
I am not dancing. I stopped.
115
00:04:12,327 --> 00:04:14,402
I mean, you're moving.
Your... your head is moving.
116
00:04:14,471 --> 00:04:16,237
I'm listening, that's how I... fine.
117
00:04:16,306 --> 00:04:17,872
- Just... thank you.
- Fine.
118
00:04:17,941 --> 00:04:18,916
Thank you.
119
00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:21,046
If you can win his...
120
00:04:23,461 --> 00:04:25,067
I was trying to put my hat on.
121
00:04:25,757 --> 00:04:27,082
If we can win his support,
122
00:04:27,150 --> 00:04:29,617
our coffers will be positively overflowing
123
00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:32,287
with toilet money for
your presidential campaign.
124
00:04:33,208 --> 00:04:35,190
I'm running for president?
125
00:04:35,258 --> 00:04:36,524
[SWELLING WALTZ MUSIC]
126
00:04:36,593 --> 00:04:38,359
Oh, fantastic!
127
00:04:38,428 --> 00:04:44,866
?
128
00:04:46,203 --> 00:04:48,403
Sorry, Celery, but it's going to take
129
00:04:48,472 --> 00:04:50,171
more than clear, explicit instructions
130
00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:53,508
to stay away from a party
to keep me from a party.
131
00:04:54,233 --> 00:04:56,010
There's nothing I hate
more than the hierarchy
132
00:04:56,079 --> 00:04:57,312
between the have-everythings
133
00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:59,314
and the have-everythings
but-an-invitation.
134
00:04:59,675 --> 00:05:01,015
It does look like a nice party, though.
135
00:05:01,084 --> 00:05:03,084
Now I see why we weren't invited.
136
00:05:03,416 --> 00:05:04,953
We have to get in there!
137
00:05:05,021 --> 00:05:06,421
Why don't we go through
the servants' entrance?
138
00:05:06,490 --> 00:05:08,690
- That seems easy.
- Might also be easy
139
00:05:08,759 --> 00:05:10,725
for me to cut my body into a hundred pieces
140
00:05:10,794 --> 00:05:12,594
and ship it to the party
via the Pony Express
141
00:05:12,662 --> 00:05:14,462
but I'm not going to do
that, because, much like
142
00:05:14,531 --> 00:05:17,306
entering the servants'
entrance, that would kill me!
143
00:05:17,996 --> 00:05:19,134
I'll meet you inside.
144
00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:23,905
Servants' entrance. Ah!
145
00:05:30,814 --> 00:05:33,782
[LIBRETTO FROM "THE MARRIAGE OF FIGARO"]
146
00:05:33,850 --> 00:05:40,855
?
147
00:05:45,262 --> 00:05:46,928
Yes, yes!
148
00:05:46,997 --> 00:05:49,764
Wonderful humor, wonderful! [CHUCKLES]
149
00:05:50,567 --> 00:05:52,000
Colonel Trimbald!
150
00:05:52,068 --> 00:05:53,735
I'm so delighted you could make it.
151
00:05:53,804 --> 00:05:56,337
Oh, is that Endive Savoy-Sweetzer?
152
00:05:56,406 --> 00:05:58,039
You know my sister, Celery.
153
00:05:58,108 --> 00:06:00,008
- Charmed.
- Yes.
154
00:06:00,076 --> 00:06:01,476
How's business, Colonel?
155
00:06:01,545 --> 00:06:03,711
Well, I have to tip my
cap to the Supreme Court
156
00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:05,780
for upholding segregation.
157
00:06:05,849 --> 00:06:07,248
It's been great for business.
158
00:06:07,317 --> 00:06:08,583
It's double the toilets,
159
00:06:08,652 --> 00:06:10,385
and the black ones don't even need to work!
160
00:06:10,453 --> 00:06:12,353
- [LAUGHTER]
- Oh, that is fascinating.
161
00:06:12,422 --> 00:06:13,988
My husband, the vice president,
162
00:06:14,057 --> 00:06:16,090
has always been a huge
supporter of Big Toilet.
163
00:06:16,159 --> 00:06:17,425
You'll have to meet him.
164
00:06:17,728 --> 00:06:19,295
Where is Freddy?
165
00:06:24,406 --> 00:06:25,400
[QUIETLY] Ooh!
166
00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:28,903
Ah! I was going to eat that, madam!
167
00:06:29,992 --> 00:06:31,040
So was I.
168
00:06:31,504 --> 00:06:33,004
I love panda balls.
169
00:06:34,544 --> 00:06:35,860
Especially in the bathtub.
170
00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:38,055
- Really?
- Mm.
171
00:06:38,315 --> 00:06:41,082
It's rare to meet someone who
also enjoys meals in water.
172
00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:43,518
Do you also take your "hors deh-oovers"
173
00:06:43,587 --> 00:06:44,652
while soaking yourself?
174
00:06:44,721 --> 00:06:46,099
Is there any other way?
175
00:06:46,356 --> 00:06:48,523
Well, we're very much alike.
176
00:06:48,592 --> 00:06:49,891
[LAUGHS HAUGHTILY]
177
00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:51,860
It's almost as if we could
complete each other's...
178
00:06:51,928 --> 00:06:53,795
[TOGETHER] Thoughts from my
brain that turn into words
179
00:06:53,864 --> 00:06:55,778
and, added together, become...
180
00:06:56,232 --> 00:06:57,932
word piles.
181
00:06:58,001 --> 00:06:59,467
[SWELLING ORCHESTRAL MUSIC]
182
00:06:59,536 --> 00:07:00,904
Who are you?
183
00:07:01,438 --> 00:07:03,071
Would you like to dance with me?
184
00:07:03,362 --> 00:07:05,962
Maybe somewhere... private?
185
00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:07,942
Normally, I wouldn't dance with a stranger,
186
00:07:08,011 --> 00:07:10,078
but this feels like...
187
00:07:10,496 --> 00:07:11,881
- Fate.
- Two gorillas.
188
00:07:15,178 --> 00:07:17,096
[GRUNTING]
189
00:07:22,292 --> 00:07:23,826
[GLASS SHATTERING]
190
00:07:28,598 --> 00:07:29,831
[GLASS CRUNCHING, FABRIC TEARING]
191
00:07:29,900 --> 00:07:33,201
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow, butt cut! Butt cut!
192
00:07:33,270 --> 00:07:35,203
I cut my butt! Ah! Ow!
193
00:07:35,272 --> 00:07:36,571
[FABRIC RIPPING]
194
00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:38,606
Ooh, ooh, my dress! [SQUEALS]
195
00:07:38,675 --> 00:07:40,775
Ow, ow...
196
00:07:40,844 --> 00:07:42,798
[GRUNTING]
197
00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:44,846
[GASPS]
198
00:07:45,254 --> 00:07:47,682
[GASPING]
199
00:07:47,918 --> 00:07:49,350
Oh, I'm bleeding.
200
00:07:49,419 --> 00:07:51,126
Ah, oh, butt cut.
201
00:07:51,588 --> 00:07:52,584
Help!
202
00:07:53,156 --> 00:07:54,148
Oh...
203
00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:02,297
- What's this?
- [GASPS]
204
00:08:02,365 --> 00:08:03,798
What are you doing in here?
205
00:08:03,867 --> 00:08:06,601
All the young ladies are
lining up for Colonel Trimbald.
206
00:08:06,670 --> 00:08:07,936
You can't miss it.
207
00:08:08,004 --> 00:08:09,771
Oh, I-I-I... No,
no, m-my dress...
208
00:08:09,839 --> 00:08:11,439
It's all right, virgin. Follow me.
209
00:08:11,508 --> 00:08:13,074
- Ooh, ah, ah...
- Right this way.
210
00:08:13,572 --> 00:08:15,238
[QUIETLY] Oh, Colonel Trimbald...
211
00:08:17,353 --> 00:08:19,754
[SOFT MUSIC PLAYING,
INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]
212
00:08:19,822 --> 00:08:22,436
Mm, wonderful curtsy, yes!
213
00:08:22,436 --> 00:08:24,570
Oh, very nice form.
214
00:08:24,639 --> 00:08:27,373
Ahem. Located another rogue virgin, sir.
215
00:08:27,441 --> 00:08:29,208
Ooh, my!
216
00:08:29,277 --> 00:08:31,010
[TITTERS]
217
00:08:31,078 --> 00:08:32,678
Oh, ho, ho!
218
00:08:32,747 --> 00:08:34,513
Colonel Trimbald doesn't want a woman.
219
00:08:34,582 --> 00:08:36,102
He wants a child.
220
00:08:36,859 --> 00:08:38,559
I can play that game.
221
00:08:39,055 --> 00:08:42,048
Well, aren't you a vision?
222
00:08:43,699 --> 00:08:46,800
This isn't my first
"sexiest curtsy" contest.
223
00:08:46,869 --> 00:08:49,736
[LAUGHS] You have a
lot of spunk, don't you?
224
00:08:49,805 --> 00:08:51,672
I could always use more!
225
00:08:51,740 --> 00:08:52,973
Oh! [LAUGHS]
226
00:08:53,042 --> 00:08:55,342
Well, ladies, I want you all,
227
00:08:55,411 --> 00:08:57,644
but sadly, I can only choose one of you
228
00:08:57,713 --> 00:09:01,576
to dance with first, so who shall it be?
229
00:09:01,850 --> 00:09:02,916
ALL: Me, me, me!
230
00:09:02,985 --> 00:09:04,484
Oh, oh, oh!
231
00:09:04,553 --> 00:09:07,458
It's just overwhelming. I
don't know how to decide.
232
00:09:07,521 --> 00:09:08,953
You're all so perfect.
233
00:09:09,022 --> 00:09:10,321
So young,
234
00:09:10,390 --> 00:09:13,792
so unformed, so moldable.
235
00:09:13,860 --> 00:09:15,093
Pick me! I've been trained
236
00:09:15,162 --> 00:09:17,162
in both English and Continental fork use.
237
00:09:17,230 --> 00:09:19,664
I can learn to sing all
of your favorite cantatas,
238
00:09:19,733 --> 00:09:21,833
even the ones in the Catholic languages.
239
00:09:21,902 --> 00:09:24,069
[SCOFFS] I can speak
so softly and sweetly,
240
00:09:24,137 --> 00:09:26,237
you'll never even know I'm talking.
241
00:09:26,306 --> 00:09:28,306
My skin is so unblemished...
242
00:09:28,375 --> 00:09:30,241
[CHILDLIKE VOICE] I haven't got my period!
243
00:09:30,310 --> 00:09:31,311
What?
244
00:09:31,745 --> 00:09:33,645
I'm pwee-pubescent!
245
00:09:33,713 --> 00:09:36,781
Oh, ho, ho, ho! You are a delight!
246
00:09:36,850 --> 00:09:38,483
- [GIGGLES]
- Oh, yes!
247
00:09:38,552 --> 00:09:40,785
Half of my teeth are still baby teeth.
248
00:09:40,854 --> 00:09:44,289
Nice try, sweetie, but
I wasn't born yesterday.
249
00:09:44,357 --> 00:09:46,074
- Or was I? [GIGGLES]
- Oh!
250
00:09:46,660 --> 00:09:49,127
Oh, ho, ho, ho! A newborn!
251
00:09:49,196 --> 00:09:50,829
[DELIGHTED LAUGHTER]
252
00:09:50,897 --> 00:09:52,664
[LAUGHTER]
253
00:09:52,732 --> 00:09:54,056
What's going on in here?
254
00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:56,633
Clean the andirons!
255
00:09:56,718 --> 00:09:57,951
They are clean, sir.
256
00:09:58,020 --> 00:09:59,874
Flobelle made a schedule,
and we finished early.
257
00:09:59,928 --> 00:10:02,187
Well, uh, rotate the soup ware.
258
00:10:02,312 --> 00:10:04,312
They've been rotated and re-rotated.
259
00:10:04,380 --> 00:10:06,047
Flobelle had me do it hours ago.
260
00:10:06,115 --> 00:10:07,982
She's one step ahead of you, Garfield.
261
00:10:08,051 --> 00:10:11,401
Funny. She makes me want to do my job.
262
00:10:11,526 --> 00:10:14,121
Well, Miss Lillian and
Beatrice will be home soon.
263
00:10:14,190 --> 00:10:16,090
We must prepare the post-party chamber.
264
00:10:16,159 --> 00:10:18,025
It's already done. This one.
265
00:10:18,094 --> 00:10:19,994
[LAUGHTER]
266
00:10:20,063 --> 00:10:21,662
Flobelle, it's usually
267
00:10:21,731 --> 00:10:24,131
the head butler's job to give the orders.
268
00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:26,367
- Oh.
- Well, I just asked myself,
269
00:10:26,436 --> 00:10:27,902
"What would Garfield do?"
270
00:10:27,971 --> 00:10:29,203
And then I did it.
271
00:10:29,398 --> 00:10:30,972
Oh, well, can you ask,
272
00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:32,540
"Where would Garfield put the dustpans?"
273
00:10:32,608 --> 00:10:34,552
Because I cannot find them anywhere.
274
00:10:35,044 --> 00:10:38,646
[LIGHT WALTZ MUSIC]
275
00:10:38,715 --> 00:10:40,247
And then a priest, a rabbi and a Prussian
276
00:10:40,316 --> 00:10:41,415
walk into a bar.
277
00:10:41,484 --> 00:10:42,717
[LAUGHTER]
278
00:10:42,785 --> 00:10:45,252
That's the funniest thing I've ever heard.
279
00:10:45,321 --> 00:10:47,054
I have to be honest with you, lady.
280
00:10:47,459 --> 00:10:50,558
I just got out of a
35-year-long relationship.
281
00:10:50,626 --> 00:10:53,426
So did I. I was in one
that lasted my whole life.
282
00:10:55,004 --> 00:10:57,431
Wait. That ring... You're married?
283
00:10:57,500 --> 00:10:59,455
Oh, yes, but she's gross. I hate her.
284
00:10:59,544 --> 00:11:01,533
Can I tell you something
that I've never told anyone?
285
00:11:01,612 --> 00:11:03,311
- Yes.
- One time, my pony
286
00:11:03,380 --> 00:11:04,479
got an embarrassing haircut,
287
00:11:04,548 --> 00:11:06,370
and it was the worst day of my life!
288
00:11:07,224 --> 00:11:09,591
I am so touched that you told me that.
289
00:11:10,814 --> 00:11:13,087
This is the opposite of
the worst day of my life.
290
00:11:13,150 --> 00:11:14,838
- [SOFTLY EXCLAIMS]
- This is...
291
00:11:16,693 --> 00:11:18,293
A pretty good day.
292
00:11:21,526 --> 00:11:23,305
Well, I have a feeling it's about to get
293
00:11:23,330 --> 00:11:24,866
a whole lot better.
294
00:11:26,358 --> 00:11:28,919
[BOTH MOANING SOFTLY]
295
00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:35,542
I could listen to you talk
about toilets all night long!
296
00:11:35,610 --> 00:11:37,744
You know, we have a
saying in the toilet industry
297
00:11:37,812 --> 00:11:40,246
that a good toilet is a better listener
298
00:11:40,315 --> 00:11:41,460
than it is a talker.
299
00:11:41,460 --> 00:11:43,646
I don't understand what that means.
300
00:11:43,671 --> 00:11:46,388
It means it takes in
more than it spits out.
301
00:11:46,388 --> 00:11:48,556
Ooh! I never spit out.
302
00:11:48,595 --> 00:11:52,220
Oh, ho, you're a sweet
little toilet, aren't you?
303
00:11:52,318 --> 00:11:54,184
You know, a lot of girls say they're 11
304
00:11:54,253 --> 00:11:55,519
when they're really 15.
305
00:11:55,587 --> 00:11:57,921
I would never lie to you.
306
00:11:57,990 --> 00:12:01,058
If there's one thing I
can't abide by, it's liars
307
00:12:01,083 --> 00:12:03,423
and women born before 1890.
308
00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:05,156
Can I steal her for a moment?
309
00:12:05,224 --> 00:12:07,825
Ooh, Grandma! Only for a moment, though.
310
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:10,795
As you know, it's almost past my bedtime.
311
00:12:10,863 --> 00:12:12,763
[GIGGLES]
312
00:12:12,832 --> 00:12:14,298
What the hell are you doing here?
313
00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:15,833
I am in the middle of some very sensitive
314
00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:17,001
political maneuvering.
315
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:18,502
Well, maybe you should have
316
00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:19,937
thought of that before you
invited me to your party.
317
00:12:20,006 --> 00:12:21,605
I didn't invite you to my party!
318
00:12:21,674 --> 00:12:23,441
- Exactly!
- What is even your plan here?
319
00:12:23,509 --> 00:12:24,909
I don't know if you've noticed,
320
00:12:24,977 --> 00:12:27,078
but you aren't exactly the Colonel's type.
321
00:12:27,146 --> 00:12:28,379
[HIGH-PITCHED] Aren't I?
322
00:12:28,448 --> 00:12:30,614
The mask has to come
off eventually, Lillian.
323
00:12:30,683 --> 00:12:32,416
What is your long game?
324
00:12:32,485 --> 00:12:35,119
Joke's on you, Celery.
I don't have a long game.
325
00:12:35,188 --> 00:12:36,987
I never think more than one step ahead.
326
00:12:37,056 --> 00:12:39,924
They don't call me Lillian
"Small Picture" Bellacourt
327
00:12:39,992 --> 00:12:41,057
for nothing.
328
00:12:42,128 --> 00:12:43,060
[FALSETTO] Oops!
329
00:12:43,129 --> 00:12:44,929
[LAUGHTER]
330
00:12:44,997 --> 00:12:47,431
Oh, aren't you perfect?
331
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:50,668
? Hey, I'm gonna make, make it, yeah, get it ?
332
00:12:50,736 --> 00:12:52,136
Now that I'm head butler,
333
00:12:52,205 --> 00:12:54,171
I get to have real food once a month,
334
00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:56,507
and since Flobelle has been so helpful,
335
00:12:56,576 --> 00:12:58,309
I've decided to share it with her.
336
00:12:58,377 --> 00:13:02,246
Savory bonbons, shrimp,
oxtail, and black pudding,
337
00:13:02,315 --> 00:13:04,782
for my black pudding...
338
00:13:04,851 --> 00:13:07,151
I gotta tell you, you make me hornier
339
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:09,086
than a Jew with a treasure map.
340
00:13:09,155 --> 00:13:10,721
Now, Hamish.
341
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:13,591
What did we discuss about being vulgar?
342
00:13:13,659 --> 00:13:16,727
I'm sorry. It just was so attractive,
343
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:19,330
seeing you take charge like that.
344
00:13:19,398 --> 00:13:20,865
What else could I do,
345
00:13:20,933 --> 00:13:23,400
- leave Garfield in charge?
- [LAUGHS]
346
00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:25,035
I mean, the guy can barely wipe his ass.
347
00:13:25,104 --> 00:13:27,071
You're right. The guy is dumb, huh?
348
00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:28,806
No, no, that wasn't a euphemism.
349
00:13:28,875 --> 00:13:30,941
He literally smells of fecal matter.
350
00:13:31,010 --> 00:13:32,544
- [CRYING]
- Oh!
351
00:13:33,713 --> 00:13:35,012
You made me spill my tray,
352
00:13:35,081 --> 00:13:38,197
you dumb, fecal-matter-smelling
flour sack!
353
00:13:38,222 --> 00:13:40,718
You always betray the men
that care about you, Blanche!
354
00:13:40,786 --> 00:13:43,154
What are you talking about?
No one cares about me.
355
00:13:43,222 --> 00:13:45,689
[SOBBING] You never pay attention
356
00:13:45,758 --> 00:13:47,725
to the boys who try to be nice to you!
357
00:13:47,793 --> 00:13:49,727
No one tries to be nice
to me... man or woman.
358
00:13:49,795 --> 00:13:52,196
Or animal. Wait. Is someone
trying to be nice to me?
359
00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:56,066
You only care about bad
boys, and I'm a good boy!
360
00:13:56,135 --> 00:13:57,568
That's enough, Garfield!
361
00:13:57,637 --> 00:14:00,504
I will accept any boy:
good, bad, physically abusive.
362
00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:02,506
Oh, I hate you, Blanche! I hate you!
363
00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:05,442
Garfield! I said that's enough!
364
00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:08,879
[SOBS] I'm the one that
Mr. Peepers left in charge.
365
00:14:08,948 --> 00:14:10,848
Not you, Flobelle.
366
00:14:10,917 --> 00:14:12,616
I'm in charge!
367
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:16,679
The person in charge is
the person people listen to.
368
00:14:17,135 --> 00:14:18,789
Look at me. Look at me!
369
00:14:19,910 --> 00:14:21,879
I'm the butler now.
370
00:14:22,261 --> 00:14:25,296
[DRAMATIC STRING MUSIC]
371
00:14:25,364 --> 00:14:26,630
[WHIMPERS]
372
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:29,300
[WAILING]
373
00:14:30,149 --> 00:14:31,969
[TSK-TSK]
374
00:14:35,034 --> 00:14:37,474
So seriously, does somebody want me?
375
00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:40,277
I'll take you, but only
if you come as a pair,
376
00:14:40,346 --> 00:14:42,671
and one of you is screaming. [LAUGHS]
377
00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:45,249
Damn it! Shit!
378
00:14:46,419 --> 00:14:47,581
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
379
00:14:48,271 --> 00:14:50,221
That's not funny. That's not funny.
380
00:14:50,672 --> 00:14:54,091
Making light of assault
is not funny, Hamish!
381
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:56,493
Why do you do that? I'll
tell you why you do that.
382
00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:58,263
You do it because
383
00:14:58,288 --> 00:15:01,189
you want people to like you
384
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:03,867
so bad that that makes you hate yourself,
385
00:15:03,936 --> 00:15:07,286
so better you make them hate you
386
00:15:07,311 --> 00:15:09,206
before you make them hate you.
387
00:15:09,275 --> 00:15:10,307
You understand?
388
00:15:10,792 --> 00:15:12,843
No, you probably don't. You know why?
389
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:15,646
Because I'm a [BLEEP] idiot! That's why!
390
00:15:15,715 --> 00:15:17,248
That's what I call everybody else,
391
00:15:17,316 --> 00:15:19,350
but really, I'm talking to myself.
392
00:15:19,738 --> 00:15:22,519
Everyone is my mirror!
393
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:26,790
I know we just met, but...
394
00:15:26,859 --> 00:15:28,525
I've never felt this kind
of connection with anyone
395
00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:29,960
outside my family before.
396
00:15:30,029 --> 00:15:31,862
I feel like I've known you my whole life.
397
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,330
Are you sure we've never met?
398
00:15:33,399 --> 00:15:35,032
I never forget a face.
399
00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:36,321
Or a voice.
400
00:15:36,321 --> 00:15:38,623
Or that time I let that
puppy drown in my bubble bath.
401
00:15:42,785 --> 00:15:43,960
[THUDDING]
402
00:15:48,417 --> 00:15:50,951
[SOFT MOANING]
403
00:15:52,554 --> 00:15:53,854
I need to see your face.
404
00:15:53,923 --> 00:15:55,355
I need to see the face that goes with
405
00:15:55,424 --> 00:15:57,024
those too-big-for-your-frame
breasts.
406
00:15:57,092 --> 00:15:58,392
Let's both show our faces.
407
00:15:58,460 --> 00:16:00,227
On the count of three,
let's take off our masks.
408
00:16:00,296 --> 00:16:02,930
- Okay.
- One, two, three.
409
00:16:02,998 --> 00:16:04,097
- Ow!
- [STRAINS]
410
00:16:04,166 --> 00:16:05,799
Ow! Ow! Mine was glued on.
411
00:16:05,868 --> 00:16:07,334
That was smart. I used rubber cement.
412
00:16:07,403 --> 00:16:08,622
Oh, that hurt.
413
00:16:08,904 --> 00:16:10,837
How will you ever find a ring small enough
414
00:16:10,906 --> 00:16:12,572
for my nimble little fingers?
415
00:16:12,641 --> 00:16:14,374
Oh, I've seen smaller.
416
00:16:14,443 --> 00:16:15,709
[BOTH GIGGLE]
417
00:16:15,778 --> 00:16:18,812
Would you care for another dance, milady?
418
00:16:18,881 --> 00:16:20,681
I thought you'd never ask!
419
00:16:20,749 --> 00:16:22,416
[LAUGHTER]
420
00:16:22,484 --> 00:16:24,897
- Oh! Oh, oh, oh!
- [SHRIEKS]
421
00:16:26,221 --> 00:16:27,454
[SHOUTING]
422
00:16:27,523 --> 00:16:30,123
You said you hadn't
been raspberried before!
423
00:16:30,192 --> 00:16:33,994
[STAMMERS] Oh, it's my
first squirt of strawberry jam!
424
00:16:34,063 --> 00:16:35,662
First period, ha!
425
00:16:35,731 --> 00:16:37,698
That isn't just flow; it's heavy flow.
426
00:16:37,766 --> 00:16:39,399
This is heavy flow!
427
00:16:39,424 --> 00:16:40,996
I think you left this...
428
00:16:41,021 --> 00:16:42,882
- [SHRIEKS]
- On the dance floor.
429
00:16:43,950 --> 00:16:46,964
It wasn't my period! It was my butt cut!
430
00:16:46,989 --> 00:16:48,889
- [SCOFFS]
- It wasn't gross period blood.
431
00:16:48,958 --> 00:16:50,858
It was blood... it was blood from my butt.
432
00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:52,693
- Oh!
- My sister was there.
433
00:16:52,718 --> 00:16:56,067
She can tell you everything.
Beatrice! Beatrice!
434
00:16:56,110 --> 00:16:58,344
Beatrice!
435
00:16:58,413 --> 00:17:00,179
Maybe if we try really
hard, we can get them off.
436
00:17:00,248 --> 00:17:02,195
- Okay. I'll pull yours.
- Okay.
437
00:17:02,417 --> 00:17:03,939
One, two, three.
438
00:17:04,419 --> 00:17:06,185
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
439
00:17:06,254 --> 00:17:07,520
[DISTANTLY] Beatrice!
440
00:17:07,588 --> 00:17:08,589
- What?
- What?
441
00:17:09,457 --> 00:17:10,856
Oh. I have to go.
442
00:17:10,925 --> 00:17:12,024
Beatrice! Someone's calling for me.
443
00:17:12,093 --> 00:17:13,225
- I need you!
- Wait.
444
00:17:13,294 --> 00:17:15,194
She won't stop. Trust me. I'll be back.
445
00:17:15,263 --> 00:17:16,962
[STAMMERING]
446
00:17:17,031 --> 00:17:18,364
[GRUNTS]
447
00:17:18,733 --> 00:17:20,733
- I'll be back!
- Beatrice!
448
00:17:20,802 --> 00:17:22,601
But I didn't get your name!
449
00:17:26,274 --> 00:17:27,573
Not my butt hole.
450
00:17:27,642 --> 00:17:29,408
I want to clarify; I
cut the side of my butt,
451
00:17:29,477 --> 00:17:31,210
and that's where the blood was coming from.
452
00:17:31,279 --> 00:17:33,913
It cut my butt! Oh,
well, Beatrice was there!
453
00:17:33,981 --> 00:17:35,781
She saw everything. Tell them!
454
00:17:35,850 --> 00:17:37,550
She was shard-ed. I saw it.
455
00:17:37,641 --> 00:17:38,629
[CROWD WHISPERING]
456
00:17:38,629 --> 00:17:41,798
My hymen is as intact as
the walls of Fort Sumter.
457
00:17:42,639 --> 00:17:44,105
- [YELPS]
- [CROWD GASPS]
458
00:17:44,130 --> 00:17:46,961
Well, your face tells a different story.
459
00:17:47,049 --> 00:17:48,782
That's Lillian Bellacourt.
460
00:17:48,851 --> 00:17:51,184
- She wasn't even invited!
- Lillian!
461
00:17:51,253 --> 00:17:55,055
It's not your age but
your dishonesty that hurts!
462
00:17:55,124 --> 00:17:58,755
But also the age; I am looking
for someone to grow old with,
463
00:17:58,818 --> 00:18:01,193
not someone to bury next year!
464
00:18:01,263 --> 00:18:03,244
Oh, Colonel, let's put all
465
00:18:03,269 --> 00:18:05,508
this nasty business behind us.
466
00:18:05,534 --> 00:18:09,370
If I can find my husband, I'm
sure he can smooth things over.
467
00:18:09,438 --> 00:18:10,971
They don't call him "Hot Iron" Bellacourt
468
00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:12,906
just because he's burned
his hands on a hot iron
469
00:18:12,975 --> 00:18:14,308
nearly a hundred times.
470
00:18:14,377 --> 00:18:15,676
"Bellacourt," eh?
471
00:18:16,177 --> 00:18:18,846
- Yeah.
- So he's Lillian's brother?
472
00:18:18,914 --> 00:18:20,180
[GIGGLES]
473
00:18:20,249 --> 00:18:23,266
I'd like to shake the hand of the woman
474
00:18:23,266 --> 00:18:25,185
whose husband's political career
475
00:18:25,254 --> 00:18:27,388
I am going to put in the toilet.
476
00:18:27,456 --> 00:18:29,423
- [GASPS]
- And not in a good way!
477
00:18:31,394 --> 00:18:32,826
[STRANGLED, HIGH-PITCHED SHRIEKING]
478
00:18:32,895 --> 00:18:35,929
Oh, you ruined everything,
just like you always do!
479
00:18:35,998 --> 00:18:38,732
Lillian and Beatrice, you are un-cordially
480
00:18:38,801 --> 00:18:40,481
not invited to every
481
00:18:40,506 --> 00:18:43,361
Newport social function forever!
482
00:18:43,406 --> 00:18:45,139
Who does she think she is?
483
00:18:45,207 --> 00:18:47,274
Yeah, who does she think he is?
484
00:18:48,978 --> 00:18:50,551
I wonder if she's ever coming back.
485
00:18:51,580 --> 00:18:53,482
Come back, mystery lady!
486
00:18:53,849 --> 00:18:54,782
[GASPS]
487
00:18:54,850 --> 00:18:57,151
My ring! Where did it go?
488
00:19:01,020 --> 00:19:02,523
Well, that was humiliating.
489
00:19:02,591 --> 00:19:03,657
Well, no more humiliating
490
00:19:03,726 --> 00:19:04,925
than anything else we've ever done.
491
00:19:04,994 --> 00:19:06,760
Well, at least we ruined Celery's night,
492
00:19:06,829 --> 00:19:08,081
so there's that.
493
00:19:09,106 --> 00:19:11,641
- I feel funny down there.
- Hang on.
494
00:19:12,435 --> 00:19:13,600
[GRUNTS]
495
00:19:14,804 --> 00:19:17,771
[EXCITING MUSIC]
496
00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:19,967
My Prince Charming left a clue!
497
00:19:21,306 --> 00:19:23,610
Oh, I wonder who my Prince Charming is.
498
00:19:24,087 --> 00:19:25,803
I guess I may never know...
499
00:19:26,482 --> 00:19:28,884
I feel like I've lost a lot of blood.
500
00:19:31,887 --> 00:19:34,555
Oh, beloved, where are you?
501
00:19:37,434 --> 00:19:40,722
That's it, boy. That's it.
502
00:19:40,747 --> 00:19:41,946
[WHIMPERS]
503
00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:44,939
[GASPS] Hello, Mr. Peepers.
504
00:19:45,008 --> 00:19:47,108
Garfield! What are you doing here?
505
00:19:47,177 --> 00:19:50,070
I want you to come back
to Bellacourt. We need you!
506
00:19:50,779 --> 00:19:53,446
Well, I do sometimes
507
00:19:53,515 --> 00:19:56,015
miss the feel of a push
broom in my hand, and...
508
00:19:56,172 --> 00:19:57,624
some nights...
509
00:19:57,941 --> 00:20:01,909
some nights, I stand
among the maize for hours,
510
00:20:01,978 --> 00:20:04,512
waiting to take anyone's coat,
511
00:20:05,502 --> 00:20:07,148
but I have a new life now.
512
00:20:07,217 --> 00:20:10,021
But, sir, servants are doing multiple jobs,
513
00:20:10,069 --> 00:20:11,968
and because everyone is sharing,
514
00:20:11,998 --> 00:20:14,935
they finish early and have
evenings to themselves.
515
00:20:14,959 --> 00:20:16,058
Gasp!
516
00:20:16,128 --> 00:20:17,260
Well, as much as this upsets me,
517
00:20:17,329 --> 00:20:18,929
I cannot return with you.
518
00:20:18,997 --> 00:20:20,961
I have a wife and children now.
519
00:20:21,733 --> 00:20:24,267
She was assigned to me by the tribe.
520
00:20:24,336 --> 00:20:27,080
In Iroquois, she's known
as a "rebound woman."
521
00:20:27,804 --> 00:20:28,918
No!
522
00:20:29,374 --> 00:20:32,609
For the first time in
my life, I feel at peace.
523
00:20:32,678 --> 00:20:35,763
I am at one with myself and...
524
00:20:36,381 --> 00:20:38,181
my Oheo.
525
00:20:39,051 --> 00:20:40,145
Sir...
526
00:20:41,224 --> 00:20:44,621
A woman has taken over as
head butler of Bellacourt!
527
00:20:45,020 --> 00:20:47,954
Well, it was lovely
getting to know you, Oheo.
528
00:20:48,023 --> 00:20:49,489
I must go back to Bellacourt.
529
00:20:49,558 --> 00:20:51,958
You'll raise "Pretends to
be British" by yourself.
530
00:20:52,027 --> 00:20:53,293
Come, boy, let's go home.
531
00:20:53,361 --> 00:20:56,329
[REMIXED ORCHESTRAL MUSIC]
532
00:20:56,398 --> 00:20:58,565
?
533
00:21:00,976 --> 00:21:02,783
I've really been working
534
00:21:02,808 --> 00:21:04,289
on this guy.
535
00:21:04,312 --> 00:21:06,312
Mister *, hey Mister *
536
00:21:06,313 --> 00:21:09,211
Shut up! And no, it's one step forward
537
00:21:09,236 --> 00:21:12,237
two steps back. Every [BLEEP] day.
538
00:21:12,261 --> 00:21:15,734
I don't give people the chance to like me.
539
00:21:15,784 --> 00:21:20,334
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
38143
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.