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1
00:00:00,845 --> 00:00:04,880
[crying]
2
00:00:04,882 --> 00:00:06,448
[light piano music]
3
00:00:06,450 --> 00:00:09,718
W-w-will there be
anything else, my ladies?
4
00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:11,720
5
00:00:11,722 --> 00:00:14,523
Ooh.
[gasping]
6
00:00:14,525 --> 00:00:16,759
[birds chirping]
7
00:00:16,761 --> 00:00:18,761
[all laughing]
8
00:00:18,763 --> 00:00:21,730
"W-w-w-will there be
anything else, my lady?"
9
00:00:21,732 --> 00:00:23,799
The word "will" doesn't have
that many Ws.
10
00:00:23,801 --> 00:00:25,267
Actually,
it doesn't have any.
11
00:00:25,269 --> 00:00:26,769
[giggles]
12
00:00:26,771 --> 00:00:28,437
Well, men who don't think
women are funny
13
00:00:28,439 --> 00:00:30,873
ought to watch Blanche
deal with her stupid problems.
14
00:00:30,875 --> 00:00:33,042
As much as I hate
to admit it,
15
00:00:33,044 --> 00:00:36,912
it was a trifle amusing
to see her cry.
16
00:00:36,914 --> 00:00:38,914
How do people
even get that fat?
17
00:00:38,916 --> 00:00:40,482
I think Blanche
is pregnant.
18
00:00:40,484 --> 00:00:42,618
Well, at least someone
around here is having sex.
19
00:00:42,620 --> 00:00:44,086
I'm so amorous,
I'm beginning to miss
20
00:00:44,088 --> 00:00:46,488
my required monthly penetration
with Victor.
21
00:00:46,490 --> 00:00:47,856
Poor Blanche.
22
00:00:47,858 --> 00:00:49,792
She should've used a condom.
23
00:00:49,794 --> 00:00:51,593
Wait. What?
24
00:00:51,595 --> 00:00:52,828
A "con-dahm"?
25
00:00:52,830 --> 00:00:55,964
Yes, you know,
that thing you use
26
00:00:55,966 --> 00:00:57,566
so you can have sex
for pleasure
27
00:00:57,568 --> 00:01:00,102
without getting pregnant.
28
00:01:00,104 --> 00:01:02,404
I can have sex for pleasure?
29
00:01:02,406 --> 00:01:05,474
Without spawning a child?
30
00:01:05,476 --> 00:01:07,576
Like I'm some kind of man?
31
00:01:07,578 --> 00:01:09,712
-
hallelujah
- [gasps]
32
00:01:09,714 --> 00:01:11,747
-
hallelujah
- [gasping]
33
00:01:11,749 --> 00:01:13,282
-
hallelujah
- [gasps]
34
00:01:13,284 --> 00:01:15,017
-
hallelujah
- [screaming]
35
00:01:15,019 --> 00:01:16,585
[fireworks whistling
and crackling]
36
00:01:16,587 --> 00:01:18,253
[inhales and gasps]
37
00:01:18,255 --> 00:01:20,589
[gasping]
38
00:01:20,591 --> 00:01:23,492
Garfield,
I need a con-dahm.
39
00:01:23,494 --> 00:01:25,294
[growls lightly]
40
00:01:25,296 --> 00:01:27,696
I want the money,
I want the fame
41
00:01:27,698 --> 00:01:30,132
I want the whole world
to know my name
42
00:01:30,134 --> 00:01:32,468
this is mine,
I got to get it
43
00:01:32,470 --> 00:01:34,970
I got to get it,
got, got to get it
44
00:01:34,972 --> 00:01:36,238
Another Period
45
00:01:36,239 --> 00:01:38,230
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
46
00:01:40,344 --> 00:01:43,379
Listen, Einstein.
I haven't all day.
47
00:01:43,381 --> 00:01:45,447
I'm giving you 30 seconds.
48
00:01:45,449 --> 00:01:48,951
[in German accent] Okay, well,
um, I have some big ideas.
49
00:01:48,953 --> 00:01:51,987
This is the formula
50
00:01:51,989 --> 00:01:54,356
for the gravitation
of the planet,
51
00:01:54,358 --> 00:01:56,158
what Isaac Newton f--
52
00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:57,459
- Ah!
- Ooh.
53
00:01:57,461 --> 00:01:58,727
30 seconds are up.
54
00:01:58,729 --> 00:02:00,162
Next time,
you should probably open
55
00:02:00,164 --> 00:02:01,497
with a joke or something.
56
00:02:01,499 --> 00:02:02,965
- Yep.
- No, no, please.
57
00:02:02,967 --> 00:02:04,233
Shtop.
58
00:02:04,235 --> 00:02:07,302
The truth is,
I need your magnets,
59
00:02:07,304 --> 00:02:08,670
for my studies.
60
00:02:08,672 --> 00:02:10,806
You have the most
magnificent supply
61
00:02:10,808 --> 00:02:12,040
anywhere on the earth.
62
00:02:12,042 --> 00:02:13,675
I want access.
63
00:02:13,677 --> 00:02:16,378
The future of science
depends on it!
64
00:02:16,380 --> 00:02:19,381
Boy, I've seen the future.
65
00:02:19,383 --> 00:02:21,283
I'll show you.
[clears throat]
66
00:02:28,125 --> 00:02:30,392
That is a big, fat penis?
67
00:02:30,394 --> 00:02:33,061
No.
It's a refrigerator.
68
00:02:33,063 --> 00:02:36,064
Right now, only 100 people
have these,
69
00:02:36,066 --> 00:02:38,534
but in the future,
everyone will,
70
00:02:38,536 --> 00:02:41,870
and I want to sell
every one of them
71
00:02:41,872 --> 00:02:44,640
their own magnet.
72
00:02:44,642 --> 00:02:46,542
Please,
come to my office!
73
00:02:46,544 --> 00:02:48,210
I want to show you
my designs!
74
00:02:48,212 --> 00:02:50,446
[grunts]
75
00:02:50,448 --> 00:02:53,749
[lively orchestral music]
76
00:02:53,751 --> 00:02:56,518
[glass shattering,
clattering]
77
00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:59,788
Look.
I got new foot bicycles.
78
00:02:59,790 --> 00:03:01,623
See?
[grunts]
79
00:03:01,625 --> 00:03:02,558
[thud]
80
00:03:03,861 --> 00:03:05,260
[humming]
81
00:03:05,262 --> 00:03:08,230
[mysterious piano music]
82
00:03:08,232 --> 00:03:10,532
83
00:03:10,534 --> 00:03:12,034
Whoa.
84
00:03:12,036 --> 00:03:13,669
85
00:03:13,671 --> 00:03:15,070
I...
86
00:03:15,072 --> 00:03:18,574
87
00:03:18,576 --> 00:03:21,577
[bright orchestral music]
88
00:03:21,579 --> 00:03:26,248
89
00:03:26,250 --> 00:03:28,550
[giggles]
90
00:03:28,552 --> 00:03:31,553
[eerie music]
91
00:03:31,555 --> 00:03:39,495
92
00:03:43,133 --> 00:03:46,168
[foreboding music]
93
00:03:46,170 --> 00:03:53,075
94
00:03:53,077 --> 00:03:57,746
o Canada
95
00:03:57,748 --> 00:04:02,584
our home and native land
96
00:04:02,586 --> 00:04:07,089
true patriot lo-o-ove
97
00:04:07,091 --> 00:04:10,392
with all our hearts command
98
00:04:10,394 --> 00:04:11,994
- [gasps]
- Ah!
99
00:04:11,996 --> 00:04:13,662
Oh, oh, my.
100
00:04:13,664 --> 00:04:17,499
Oh, my, Doctor,
you're-- you're--
101
00:04:17,501 --> 00:04:19,401
- Canadian.
- Canadian?
102
00:04:19,403 --> 00:04:20,402
- Yes.
- Have you come here
103
00:04:20,404 --> 00:04:21,703
to blow up Bellacourt Manor?
104
00:04:21,705 --> 00:04:23,605
That is a grave insult
to my people.
105
00:04:23,607 --> 00:04:25,140
We are a peaceful people.
106
00:04:25,142 --> 00:04:26,608
I always suspected
there was something
107
00:04:26,610 --> 00:04:28,510
vaguely foreign
about that doctor,
108
00:04:28,512 --> 00:04:30,846
but Jewish and Canadian?
109
00:04:30,848 --> 00:04:33,849
How many impediments
must one man overcome?
110
00:04:33,851 --> 00:04:35,217
Oh, please, Peepers,
111
00:04:35,219 --> 00:04:36,685
please don't tell anyone
about this.
112
00:04:36,687 --> 00:04:38,320
I-- I can't go back
to French Canada.
113
00:04:38,322 --> 00:04:39,621
Very well, sir.
114
00:04:39,623 --> 00:04:41,557
I will do what I can
to help you,
115
00:04:41,559 --> 00:04:42,891
but in the meantime,
116
00:04:42,893 --> 00:04:45,460
do not pour that syrup
on the pancakes.
117
00:04:45,462 --> 00:04:46,862
This is America.
118
00:04:46,864 --> 00:04:48,297
I've heard all aboot it--
about it!
119
00:04:48,299 --> 00:04:50,165
[gasps]
120
00:04:50,167 --> 00:04:52,668
[shudders]
121
00:04:52,670 --> 00:04:56,838
[lively electronic music]
122
00:04:56,840 --> 00:04:58,473
- H-A-R...
all: - VARD!
123
00:04:58,475 --> 00:04:59,675
- H-A-R...
all: - VARD!
124
00:04:59,677 --> 00:05:01,176
- H-A-R...
all: - VARD!
125
00:05:01,178 --> 00:05:03,979
What does it spell?
126
00:05:03,981 --> 00:05:05,547
To the best people
on earth.
127
00:05:05,549 --> 00:05:07,182
And to our newest VP,
128
00:05:07,184 --> 00:05:08,850
Frederick Bellacourt.
129
00:05:08,852 --> 00:05:09,851
- [all laughing]
- Cheers.
130
00:05:09,853 --> 00:05:10,953
Cheers.
131
00:05:10,955 --> 00:05:12,387
You won't be surprised to know
132
00:05:12,389 --> 00:05:14,856
that I attended
the hallowed halls of Harvard,
133
00:05:14,858 --> 00:05:17,859
which is, I believe,
a college.
134
00:05:17,861 --> 00:05:19,528
So, John-John,
135
00:05:19,530 --> 00:05:21,930
how are things
over at the, uh--
136
00:05:21,932 --> 00:05:23,298
what are you doing again?
137
00:05:23,300 --> 00:05:24,933
Are you the governor
of the Philippines?
138
00:05:24,935 --> 00:05:27,169
Or are you America's
greatest novelist?
139
00:05:27,171 --> 00:05:30,572
I'm ashamed to say it,
but I am
140
00:05:30,574 --> 00:05:32,074
recently unemployed.
141
00:05:32,076 --> 00:05:33,542
[all gasp]
142
00:05:33,544 --> 00:05:35,777
Dear God,
are you homeless?
143
00:05:35,779 --> 00:05:36,912
Oh, no, no, no, no.
144
00:05:36,914 --> 00:05:38,680
I still have all seven.
145
00:05:38,682 --> 00:05:40,449
Either way,
I know what to do.
146
00:05:40,451 --> 00:05:41,883
We shall set you up
with a job
147
00:05:41,885 --> 00:05:44,052
writing for
the "Simpson's Review."
148
00:05:44,054 --> 00:05:46,188
Ah, "Simpson's,"
a Harvard degree
149
00:05:46,190 --> 00:05:48,290
virtually guarantees
a position there.
150
00:05:48,292 --> 00:05:50,859
Ah, you'd do that for me?
151
00:05:50,861 --> 00:05:52,194
To Harvard!
152
00:05:52,196 --> 00:05:54,363
all: To Harvard!
153
00:05:54,365 --> 00:05:56,365
I
154
00:05:56,367 --> 00:05:58,634
want you here
155
00:05:58,636 --> 00:06:00,736
with me
156
00:06:00,738 --> 00:06:02,404
I
157
00:06:02,406 --> 00:06:07,943
need you now
158
00:06:07,945 --> 00:06:09,144
I
159
00:06:09,146 --> 00:06:11,780
want you here
160
00:06:11,782 --> 00:06:13,448
to stay
161
00:06:13,450 --> 00:06:15,083
I need you
162
00:06:15,085 --> 00:06:18,687
I need you right now
163
00:06:19,790 --> 00:06:21,923
inside
164
00:06:21,925 --> 00:06:24,493
and
165
00:06:24,495 --> 00:06:27,829
out
166
00:06:27,831 --> 00:06:32,934
ah
167
00:06:32,936 --> 00:06:35,804
Yes, I suppose
one of these will do.
168
00:06:35,806 --> 00:06:37,973
Garfield, I want
to have sex for pleasure
169
00:06:37,975 --> 00:06:39,608
- with one of those men.
- Pardon?
170
00:06:39,610 --> 00:06:40,942
Take me
to the con-dahm store.
171
00:06:40,944 --> 00:06:42,844
Um, would it be possible,
172
00:06:42,846 --> 00:06:46,615
um, for you to procure
this abortive device
173
00:06:46,617 --> 00:06:47,783
on your own?
174
00:06:47,785 --> 00:06:49,084
They won't sell one
to me.
175
00:06:49,086 --> 00:06:50,719
You have to have a penis
in order to buy
176
00:06:50,721 --> 00:06:51,987
something to put on a penis.
177
00:06:51,989 --> 00:06:53,255
It just makes sense.
178
00:06:53,257 --> 00:06:56,758
Now come,
and bring your penis.
179
00:06:56,760 --> 00:06:57,893
Yes.
180
00:06:58,837 --> 00:07:02,471
I'm all about my money
so, homey, talk dollar
181
00:07:02,473 --> 00:07:04,340
[grunts]
182
00:07:04,342 --> 00:07:06,075
Oh.
[panting]
183
00:07:06,077 --> 00:07:07,343
- Blanche.
- Okay.
184
00:07:07,345 --> 00:07:08,344
You and I need
to have a powwow.
185
00:07:08,346 --> 00:07:09,845
Oh.
186
00:07:09,847 --> 00:07:12,248
Now, there are
two things I know for sure.
187
00:07:12,250 --> 00:07:13,782
One is that
you're disgusting.
188
00:07:13,784 --> 00:07:15,484
Two is that you're
a failure as a woman.
189
00:07:15,486 --> 00:07:20,756
What I don't know is
how this pregnancy happened.
190
00:07:20,758 --> 00:07:23,692
Who is responsible
for this womb of ill repute?
191
00:07:23,694 --> 00:07:26,395
Was it Hamish?
Garfield?
192
00:07:26,397 --> 00:07:28,531
Syphilis Joe?
Professor Plum?
193
00:07:28,533 --> 00:07:29,665
Whom?
194
00:07:29,667 --> 00:07:31,500
Now, I am a fair
and kind man.
195
00:07:31,502 --> 00:07:34,403
Whoever did this
will get a slap on the wrist
196
00:07:34,405 --> 00:07:36,839
before you are beaten
and thrown into the streets.
197
00:07:36,841 --> 00:07:38,941
[grunts]
Oh, it wasn't anyone
198
00:07:38,943 --> 00:07:40,442
I met at Bellacourt.
199
00:07:40,444 --> 00:07:42,411
It was a man I met
at the asylum.
200
00:07:42,413 --> 00:07:43,913
We didn't plan it.
201
00:07:43,915 --> 00:07:45,347
We just...
202
00:07:45,349 --> 00:07:46,582
fell in love.
203
00:07:46,584 --> 00:07:47,917
Wretched. Go on.
204
00:07:47,919 --> 00:07:49,385
Well, in my defense,
205
00:07:49,387 --> 00:07:51,754
most women never leave
the asylum.
206
00:07:51,756 --> 00:07:54,456
They just deteriorate mentally
until they hang themselves
207
00:07:54,458 --> 00:07:56,959
or one of the orderlies gets
sick of their incessant wailing
208
00:07:56,961 --> 00:07:58,794
and drowns them in the river.
209
00:07:58,796 --> 00:08:00,596
[chortling]
Sorry.
210
00:08:00,598 --> 00:08:02,464
I could see how that
could be traumatizing.
211
00:08:02,466 --> 00:08:03,732
Just made me think of a joke.
212
00:08:03,734 --> 00:08:06,969
[chortling]
213
00:08:06,971 --> 00:08:09,038
Ugh, this is all my fault.
214
00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:10,806
I committed Blanche
to that insane asylum
215
00:08:10,808 --> 00:08:14,510
based on the word
of that con artist Chair.
216
00:08:14,512 --> 00:08:17,179
Now I put Blanche
in this situation,
217
00:08:17,181 --> 00:08:20,182
and it is my duty
to make it right.
218
00:08:20,184 --> 00:08:24,253
Well, Einstein, if you don't
believe in personal magnets,
219
00:08:24,255 --> 00:08:25,487
you lack vision.
220
00:08:25,489 --> 00:08:27,289
Why don't you pack
your chalkboard
221
00:08:27,291 --> 00:08:28,424
and get the fuck out?
222
00:08:32,430 --> 00:08:35,431
[mysterious piano music]
223
00:08:35,433 --> 00:08:37,132
224
00:08:37,134 --> 00:08:39,268
Which one of you
solved my equation?
225
00:08:39,270 --> 00:08:42,805
Uh, that, uh, seems
like something I would do.
226
00:08:42,807 --> 00:08:44,506
- It was me.
- Stop trying to take
227
00:08:44,508 --> 00:08:45,641
credit for my work.
228
00:08:45,643 --> 00:08:47,176
I probably did it.
229
00:08:47,178 --> 00:08:48,744
People have been assuring me
I'm good at things
230
00:08:48,746 --> 00:08:50,779
ever since I won
my first regatta.
231
00:08:50,781 --> 00:08:53,916
Are you talking about
the white dust number picture?
232
00:08:53,918 --> 00:08:55,317
That was me.
I chalked it.
233
00:08:55,319 --> 00:08:57,253
[all laughing]
234
00:08:57,255 --> 00:08:59,188
I-- I did.
235
00:08:59,190 --> 00:09:01,190
When I looked at the drawing,
I saw that
236
00:09:01,192 --> 00:09:02,791
height, depth, and width
were represented,
237
00:09:02,793 --> 00:09:04,994
but then I thought,
"What about time?"
238
00:09:04,996 --> 00:09:08,230
Since space has three dimensions
and time is one-dimensional,
239
00:09:08,232 --> 00:09:10,699
I thought space-time must be
a four-dimensional object,
240
00:09:10,701 --> 00:09:12,468
and as far as I can think,
both space and time
241
00:09:12,470 --> 00:09:14,470
can be divided without limit
in size or duration.
242
00:09:14,472 --> 00:09:15,838
Und therefore...
243
00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:17,873
Space-time
does not evolve.
244
00:09:17,875 --> 00:09:19,308
It simply...
245
00:09:19,310 --> 00:09:22,344
- exists.
- [whispers] Exists.
246
00:09:22,346 --> 00:09:23,712
- Yes.
- [both laugh]
247
00:09:23,714 --> 00:09:26,882
[tender piano music]
248
00:09:26,884 --> 00:09:28,484
Well, no one
likes a show-off.
249
00:09:28,486 --> 00:09:31,086
I'm sorry, fellas.
I'll take care of this.
250
00:09:31,088 --> 00:09:33,522
Stop trying to humiliate me!
251
00:09:33,524 --> 00:09:35,457
It's humiliating!
252
00:09:35,459 --> 00:09:37,026
[sad music]
253
00:09:37,028 --> 00:09:38,227
I'm so sorry.
I--
254
00:09:38,229 --> 00:09:41,063
Sorry.
255
00:09:41,065 --> 00:09:42,731
You're a slut!
256
00:09:42,733 --> 00:09:44,166
What are you doing?
257
00:09:44,168 --> 00:09:46,669
You idiots!
258
00:09:46,671 --> 00:09:48,570
Oh-ho-ho, we're idiots,
are we?
259
00:09:48,572 --> 00:09:50,139
Where did we go to school?
260
00:09:50,141 --> 00:09:52,308
- H-A-R...
all: - VARD!
261
00:09:55,046 --> 00:09:57,446
Go, Garfield.
Just go.
262
00:09:57,448 --> 00:09:58,914
Go. Go.
263
00:09:58,916 --> 00:09:59,915
[chuckles]
264
00:09:59,917 --> 00:10:01,750
Yes.
265
00:10:01,752 --> 00:10:05,220
Well, what do I
want today?
266
00:10:05,222 --> 00:10:07,189
Whatever you need,
ask Duane Reade.
267
00:10:07,191 --> 00:10:10,192
Well, I would love a box
268
00:10:10,194 --> 00:10:13,562
of toothache powder.
269
00:10:13,564 --> 00:10:15,230
Mm-hmm.
270
00:10:15,232 --> 00:10:17,032
Best I got.
271
00:10:17,034 --> 00:10:19,068
Yes, and some of the, um,
272
00:10:19,070 --> 00:10:20,736
stop being gay pills.
273
00:10:20,738 --> 00:10:23,439
No, I'm stocked up on those.
274
00:10:23,441 --> 00:10:25,641
Just, um, some toilet tissues.
275
00:10:25,643 --> 00:10:27,743
Don't mind if I do.
[chuckles]
276
00:10:27,745 --> 00:10:28,944
For doo-doo.
277
00:10:28,946 --> 00:10:31,780
[giggles]
278
00:10:31,782 --> 00:10:33,549
Where is my con-dahm?
279
00:10:33,551 --> 00:10:34,950
I know.
I'm a failure.
280
00:10:34,952 --> 00:10:36,418
I couldn't do it.
281
00:10:36,420 --> 00:10:38,687
Ugh.
I'll do it myself.
282
00:10:40,791 --> 00:10:42,424
- Yes?
- Hi.
283
00:10:42,426 --> 00:10:44,059
I'd like to purchase
a con-dahm.
284
00:10:44,061 --> 00:10:45,694
[grunts]
Yes. Shh. Shh.
285
00:10:45,696 --> 00:10:47,496
Cops could hear you.
Are you crazy?
286
00:10:47,498 --> 00:10:49,465
Crazy horny.
[chuckles]
287
00:10:49,467 --> 00:10:51,567
Uh, we don't sell
rubber skins here,
288
00:10:51,569 --> 00:10:53,769
certainly not to a woman,
of all people.
289
00:10:53,771 --> 00:10:55,137
[gasps]
Well, then, how am I supposed
290
00:10:55,139 --> 00:10:56,472
to have sex for pleasure?
291
00:10:56,474 --> 00:10:58,107
Why don't you ask
the other gals
292
00:10:58,109 --> 00:11:00,242
on the corner of Unwed Road
and Whore Boulevard?
293
00:11:00,244 --> 00:11:02,411
I'm a whore
because I want to have sex?
294
00:11:02,413 --> 00:11:04,146
Don't you want to have sex?
295
00:11:04,148 --> 00:11:05,647
Of course
I want to have sex.
296
00:11:05,649 --> 00:11:07,449
I love sex.
It feels so good on my penis.
297
00:11:07,451 --> 00:11:10,252
So unless you'd like
to go around back
298
00:11:10,254 --> 00:11:12,421
and get bent over a pallet
of Gold Medal flour
299
00:11:12,423 --> 00:11:15,624
or get arrested,
I suggest you leave.
300
00:11:15,626 --> 00:11:16,792
Bent over?
301
00:11:16,794 --> 00:11:18,360
I don't even like
that position.
302
00:11:18,362 --> 00:11:19,995
I'm more of a "lay there
and take it" kind of gal.
303
00:11:19,997 --> 00:11:21,930
Oh.
304
00:11:21,932 --> 00:11:25,300
I told the bitch
that I lean like a cholo
305
00:11:25,302 --> 00:11:28,771
Now, I know how
I came to this theory,
306
00:11:28,773 --> 00:11:31,006
but how did you think of it?
307
00:11:31,008 --> 00:11:32,841
Und so quickly?
308
00:11:32,843 --> 00:11:34,343
Well...
309
00:11:34,345 --> 00:11:35,677
I suppose that depends
310
00:11:35,679 --> 00:11:36,979
on where you think
thoughts come from.
311
00:11:36,981 --> 00:11:38,947
Ach, du lieber.
Ja.
312
00:11:38,949 --> 00:11:41,683
Is an idea ever truly ours?
313
00:11:41,685 --> 00:11:44,620
Or does it come from some place
inside the brain
314
00:11:44,622 --> 00:11:48,524
that we can only sometimes
access yet never truly define?
315
00:11:48,526 --> 00:11:50,359
Exactly.
So I think
316
00:11:50,361 --> 00:11:52,094
the thoughts that I think
are thoughts
317
00:11:52,096 --> 00:11:54,663
that were already thoughts
just waiting to be thought.
318
00:11:54,665 --> 00:11:55,864
But until they're ready
to be thought,
319
00:11:55,866 --> 00:11:57,433
they remain
unthought thoughts,
320
00:11:57,435 --> 00:11:59,134
but as soon as the unthought
thoughts are thought,
321
00:11:59,136 --> 00:12:00,602
they become
thought thoughts,
322
00:12:00,604 --> 00:12:02,137
but the thought thoughts
that were previously
323
00:12:02,139 --> 00:12:03,639
unthought thoughts
are preexisting thoughts
324
00:12:03,641 --> 00:12:05,207
and therefore
not our thoughts to claim.
325
00:12:05,209 --> 00:12:07,042
Although,
326
00:12:07,044 --> 00:12:09,111
I do think it's nice
to think that we could think
327
00:12:09,113 --> 00:12:10,879
of unthought thoughts
and make them thought thoughts
328
00:12:10,881 --> 00:12:12,247
just by thinking of them.
329
00:12:12,249 --> 00:12:14,049
Wait.
What about time?
330
00:12:14,051 --> 00:12:15,651
Uh, it's relative,
331
00:12:15,653 --> 00:12:17,052
but not the kind
you sleep with.
332
00:12:17,054 --> 00:12:18,320
Psst, condom girl.
333
00:12:18,322 --> 00:12:19,888
Come here.
334
00:12:19,890 --> 00:12:22,391
- Come here.
- [gasps]
335
00:12:22,393 --> 00:12:24,493
Is this a mugging?
If so, I haven't any money.
336
00:12:24,495 --> 00:12:25,794
[laughing]
337
00:12:25,796 --> 00:12:27,596
I'm sorry.
That sounded so ridiculous
338
00:12:27,598 --> 00:12:29,398
coming out of my mouth
because I literally
339
00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:30,699
have millions of dollars.
340
00:12:30,701 --> 00:12:32,734
I just don't have
any money on me.
341
00:12:32,736 --> 00:12:34,903
It's all in real estate.
342
00:12:34,905 --> 00:12:36,271
Oh, but if you want
to mug someone,
343
00:12:36,273 --> 00:12:38,774
why don't you mug him?
344
00:12:38,776 --> 00:12:39,875
No.
345
00:12:39,877 --> 00:12:40,876
I'm not trying to mug you.
346
00:12:40,878 --> 00:12:42,511
It's me, Eunice.
347
00:12:42,513 --> 00:12:45,547
- [dramatic musical flourish]
- [screaming]
348
00:12:45,549 --> 00:12:47,850
Look, I know where
you can get a con-dahm.
349
00:12:47,852 --> 00:12:50,486
It's 42 Back Alley Lane right
behind the coat hanger factory.
350
00:12:50,488 --> 00:12:53,388
Tell 'em Eunice sent you.
You get a 10% discount.
351
00:12:53,390 --> 00:12:54,556
[tense music]
352
00:12:54,558 --> 00:12:56,291
Uh, hi.
353
00:12:56,293 --> 00:12:58,594
I-I'm looking for Abortion Deb.
354
00:12:58,596 --> 00:13:00,028
Uh, well, first of all,
355
00:13:00,030 --> 00:13:02,097
I much prefer the name
Healthcare Deb.
356
00:13:02,099 --> 00:13:04,466
It's much more accurate
to what I actually do.
357
00:13:04,468 --> 00:13:06,768
Abortion really
is only 3%
358
00:13:06,770 --> 00:13:08,370
of the medical procedures
that I--
359
00:13:08,372 --> 00:13:10,205
I'm not interested
in your origin story.
360
00:13:10,207 --> 00:13:12,541
I just wanted to start
having sex for pleasure.
361
00:13:12,543 --> 00:13:14,209
I'd like to purchase
a con-dahm.
362
00:13:14,211 --> 00:13:15,511
Oh, all right.
363
00:13:15,513 --> 00:13:18,947
[sprightly orchestral music]
364
00:13:18,949 --> 00:13:21,583
Garfield,
pay the abortionist.
365
00:13:21,585 --> 00:13:23,252
[squeals]
366
00:13:23,254 --> 00:13:25,954
[dramatic hip-hop music]
367
00:13:25,956 --> 00:13:28,190
Beatrice,
368
00:13:28,192 --> 00:13:29,892
you must come to Zurich
with me.
369
00:13:29,894 --> 00:13:31,159
If we put our brains together,
370
00:13:31,161 --> 00:13:32,561
we can think
the unthought thoughts
371
00:13:32,563 --> 00:13:34,463
that no one's ever
dreamed of thinking.
372
00:13:34,465 --> 00:13:35,764
What would we do there?
373
00:13:35,766 --> 00:13:37,566
We would change the world,
of course.
374
00:13:37,568 --> 00:13:38,967
I was planning
to do it by myself,
375
00:13:38,969 --> 00:13:41,303
but it would be much faster
and better with you.
376
00:13:41,305 --> 00:13:43,305
- With me?
- Ja, you.
377
00:13:43,307 --> 00:13:45,107
- Me, Beatrice?
- You, Beatrice.
378
00:13:45,109 --> 00:13:47,276
- How would I eat?
- We have restaurants.
379
00:13:47,278 --> 00:13:48,544
When do you sleep
over there?
380
00:13:48,546 --> 00:13:50,312
- At nighttime.
- How does time work?
381
00:13:50,314 --> 00:13:52,481
- The same way.
- How do I take chowder baths?
382
00:13:52,483 --> 00:13:53,782
We go up to Norway
for that.
383
00:13:53,784 --> 00:13:54,983
But what about cheese time?
384
00:13:54,985 --> 00:13:56,952
We have great cheese
in Switzerland.
385
00:13:56,954 --> 00:13:58,820
Have you never heard
of swiss cheese?
386
00:13:58,822 --> 00:14:00,889
- The one that the mice like?
- Mm-mm.
387
00:14:00,891 --> 00:14:05,427
It's time for you to stop
pretending to be regular und...
388
00:14:05,429 --> 00:14:08,764
come und be great.
389
00:14:08,766 --> 00:14:11,366
I have to think
about it.
390
00:14:11,368 --> 00:14:13,902
Beatrice!
391
00:14:13,904 --> 00:14:15,437
- The other way.
- Oh, uh...
392
00:14:15,439 --> 00:14:17,773
B-Beatrice!
Ah.
393
00:14:20,115 --> 00:14:23,183
[lively orchestral
and electronic music]
394
00:14:25,787 --> 00:14:28,688
Here she is.
395
00:14:28,690 --> 00:14:30,924
Oh, Virgil.
396
00:14:30,926 --> 00:14:32,826
[gasps]
397
00:14:32,828 --> 00:14:34,961
Oh, I can't believe
I'm finally in your arms again.
398
00:14:34,963 --> 00:14:37,297
I've missed you so.
399
00:14:37,299 --> 00:14:38,965
You know, I wrote you letter
after letter
400
00:14:38,967 --> 00:14:40,700
after letter
after letter.
401
00:14:40,702 --> 00:14:43,002
Yeah, I'm sorry about that.
I've been really busy.
402
00:14:43,004 --> 00:14:45,338
Yeah, well...
me too.
403
00:14:45,340 --> 00:14:47,340
Why don't we sit down?
404
00:14:47,342 --> 00:14:48,475
Oh.
405
00:14:48,477 --> 00:14:50,510
[clears throat]
Now...
406
00:14:50,512 --> 00:14:52,445
Virgil, um,
407
00:14:52,447 --> 00:14:53,813
why don't you
explain to Blanche
408
00:14:53,815 --> 00:14:55,048
what you were telling me?
409
00:14:55,050 --> 00:14:57,684
[chuckling]
410
00:14:57,686 --> 00:14:58,952
Okay.
411
00:14:58,954 --> 00:15:01,354
I had my way with you,
412
00:15:01,356 --> 00:15:03,790
and you had no say
in the matter.
413
00:15:03,792 --> 00:15:06,960
Oh, but--
but we made love.
414
00:15:06,962 --> 00:15:08,728
[chuckles]
I made love
415
00:15:08,730 --> 00:15:10,029
on top of you.
416
00:15:10,031 --> 00:15:11,798
Oh, grapes.
417
00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:15,201
Oh, yes.
418
00:15:15,203 --> 00:15:17,404
Where does that leave us?
419
00:15:17,406 --> 00:15:19,873
Well...
420
00:15:19,875 --> 00:15:23,209
I'm probably not gonna
take care of your tot.
421
00:15:23,211 --> 00:15:25,011
I probably won't even
remember your name.
422
00:15:25,013 --> 00:15:26,846
[whispers]
Blanche.
423
00:15:26,848 --> 00:15:29,382
Can I have some
of those pastries?
424
00:15:29,384 --> 00:15:31,418
Those are
for the family.
425
00:15:31,420 --> 00:15:32,886
I don't even know
why I asked.
426
00:15:32,888 --> 00:15:35,221
Usually I just take.
427
00:15:35,223 --> 00:15:37,490
Also, I'd lose the hat.
428
00:15:39,060 --> 00:15:40,393
When I raped you,
you weren't wearing a hat.
429
00:15:40,395 --> 00:15:41,728
Now you're wearing a hat,
430
00:15:41,730 --> 00:15:43,329
it's like I wouldn't
even rape you.
431
00:15:43,331 --> 00:15:46,332
[upbeat orchestral
and electronic music]
432
00:15:46,334 --> 00:15:48,835
433
00:15:48,837 --> 00:15:49,869
[martial drum music]
434
00:15:49,871 --> 00:15:51,237
[laughter]
435
00:15:51,239 --> 00:15:53,273
Hello, boys.
436
00:15:53,275 --> 00:15:54,707
I would like to inform you all
437
00:15:54,709 --> 00:15:56,676
that I am in possession
of a con-dahm,
438
00:15:56,678 --> 00:15:59,579
and I would like to have sex
with one of you for pleasure,
439
00:15:59,581 --> 00:16:01,214
not for children.
440
00:16:01,216 --> 00:16:02,582
Sorry, Lillian.
[clicks tongue]
441
00:16:02,584 --> 00:16:03,783
Missed your window.
442
00:16:03,785 --> 00:16:05,218
Besides, this
is not a good time.
443
00:16:05,220 --> 00:16:06,619
We're watching slides
of our freshman year
444
00:16:06,621 --> 00:16:07,887
Harvard-Yale game.
445
00:16:07,889 --> 00:16:09,289
Oh, God, I hope we win.
446
00:16:09,291 --> 00:16:10,423
Get!
447
00:16:10,425 --> 00:16:11,424
[bright orchestral music]
448
00:16:11,426 --> 00:16:13,126
- Ah!
all: - Touchdown!
449
00:16:13,128 --> 00:16:14,227
- Yeah!
- Ha-ha-ha!
450
00:16:14,229 --> 00:16:15,695
Hi.
451
00:16:15,697 --> 00:16:16,930
Would you like
to have sex for pleasure?
452
00:16:16,932 --> 00:16:18,731
I'm engaged
to a Rockefeller.
453
00:16:18,733 --> 00:16:20,166
all: Touchdown!
454
00:16:20,168 --> 00:16:21,568
[laughing]
455
00:16:21,570 --> 00:16:22,969
Sex for pleasure?
456
00:16:22,971 --> 00:16:25,238
I am also engaged
to a Rockefeller.
457
00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:27,640
- Oh!
- [all exclaiming]
458
00:16:27,642 --> 00:16:29,609
Hi. Let's have sex.
459
00:16:29,611 --> 00:16:31,344
Oh, uh,
no, thank you.
460
00:16:31,346 --> 00:16:33,546
What do you mean,
no, thank you?
461
00:16:33,548 --> 00:16:34,914
Here's the thing.
462
00:16:34,916 --> 00:16:36,483
You're not really my type.
463
00:16:36,485 --> 00:16:40,420
Uh, I mean, I could maybe
see you as a cool, older friend
464
00:16:40,422 --> 00:16:42,322
or something,
but as a Harvard man,
465
00:16:42,324 --> 00:16:44,324
I tend to go
for younger, hotter women.
466
00:16:44,326 --> 00:16:46,960
- Oh!
- [all exclaiming]
467
00:16:46,962 --> 00:16:47,961
No.
468
00:16:47,963 --> 00:16:51,498
469
00:16:51,500 --> 00:16:52,799
[grunts]
470
00:16:52,801 --> 00:16:56,269
[all cheering and laughing]
471
00:16:56,271 --> 00:16:57,303
Yes!
472
00:16:57,305 --> 00:16:59,839
[energetic techno music]
473
00:17:02,677 --> 00:17:05,979
Wait!
Stop schlittschuhlaufen away!
474
00:17:05,981 --> 00:17:08,014
Beatrice.
475
00:17:08,016 --> 00:17:10,183
Most people live
their entire lives
476
00:17:10,185 --> 00:17:12,085
und they never get
this moment.
477
00:17:12,087 --> 00:17:15,588
You cannot allow this
to happen to a mind like yours.
478
00:17:15,590 --> 00:17:18,591
[tender orchestral music]
479
00:17:18,593 --> 00:17:19,826
480
00:17:19,828 --> 00:17:21,594
Ah, Beatrice.
481
00:17:21,596 --> 00:17:23,663
Is the mustard and
beans bell broken?
482
00:17:23,665 --> 00:17:24,864
We're hungry in there.
483
00:17:24,866 --> 00:17:26,466
Why are you still talking
484
00:17:26,468 --> 00:17:27,867
to this unkempt foreigner?
485
00:17:27,869 --> 00:17:30,603
Because she is saying
she is leaving with me.
486
00:17:30,605 --> 00:17:32,272
Leaving?
487
00:17:32,274 --> 00:17:33,540
With me?
488
00:17:33,542 --> 00:17:35,308
With Albert Einstein.
489
00:17:35,310 --> 00:17:36,976
You can't leave me.
490
00:17:36,978 --> 00:17:38,278
Sure, I don't live here,
491
00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:39,646
and we hardly ever
see each other,
492
00:17:39,648 --> 00:17:41,180
and I'm married
to another woman,
493
00:17:41,182 --> 00:17:44,017
but you can't leave me.
494
00:17:44,019 --> 00:17:46,519
I need you, Beatrice.
495
00:17:46,521 --> 00:17:49,489
[light instrumental music]
496
00:17:49,491 --> 00:17:51,724
Did you know that sometimes
dogs can be horses
497
00:17:51,726 --> 00:17:54,060
but horses
can never be dogs?
498
00:17:54,062 --> 00:17:55,295
[laughs]
499
00:17:55,297 --> 00:17:56,796
What is this you're saying?
500
00:17:56,798 --> 00:17:58,965
I don't know.
I never know.
501
00:17:58,967 --> 00:18:00,567
I like marshmallows.
502
00:18:00,569 --> 00:18:03,469
[chuckling]
I also enjoy a good 'mallow.
503
00:18:03,471 --> 00:18:04,737
I see.
504
00:18:04,739 --> 00:18:07,006
You are pretending
to be stupid
505
00:18:07,008 --> 00:18:09,409
so that you can stay
with this idiot.
506
00:18:09,411 --> 00:18:10,843
Hey, I went
to Harvard.
507
00:18:10,845 --> 00:18:12,845
Well...
508
00:18:12,847 --> 00:18:15,815
then I guess it's
auf Wiedersehen, meine Liebchen.
509
00:18:15,817 --> 00:18:18,484
Sauerkraut to you too.
510
00:18:18,486 --> 00:18:22,655
[melancholy music]
511
00:18:22,657 --> 00:18:24,390
[vase shatters]
512
00:18:24,392 --> 00:18:28,361
513
00:18:28,363 --> 00:18:31,397
[energetic techno music]
514
00:18:31,399 --> 00:18:32,999
515
00:18:33,001 --> 00:18:35,902
Well, my matchmaking
was a bit of a bust,
516
00:18:35,904 --> 00:18:38,538
but I have another idea
of who can wed Blanche.
517
00:18:38,540 --> 00:18:40,173
[knocks]
Dr. Goldberg.
518
00:18:40,175 --> 00:18:41,674
- Yes.
- I think I may have solved
519
00:18:41,676 --> 00:18:43,376
your little immigration problem.
520
00:18:43,378 --> 00:18:46,112
You can stay in this country
by marrying Blanche the servant.
521
00:18:46,114 --> 00:18:49,082
Now, which one is Blanche?
Is that the black girl?
522
00:18:49,084 --> 00:18:50,883
Dr. Goldberg,
I'm surprised at you.
523
00:18:50,885 --> 00:18:52,118
It's 1903.
524
00:18:52,120 --> 00:18:53,886
The correct term is nigger.
525
00:18:53,888 --> 00:18:55,355
I'll never make
that mistake twice.
526
00:18:55,357 --> 00:18:57,023
Pie-faced gal,
woebegone eyes,
527
00:18:57,025 --> 00:18:59,592
cloud of desperation
hovering above her,
528
00:18:59,594 --> 00:19:01,260
destroyed body,
nine months pregnant.
529
00:19:01,262 --> 00:19:03,863
Yes, yes, I call her
Shattered Sally in my head.
530
00:19:03,865 --> 00:19:05,398
You know what?
531
00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:07,100
Of course I'll marry her.
532
00:19:07,102 --> 00:19:09,068
You've been a wonderful friend
to me, Mr. Peepers,
533
00:19:09,070 --> 00:19:10,570
a wonderful friend indeed,
534
00:19:10,572 --> 00:19:12,271
and I'm "sore-ry"
I ever doubted you.
535
00:19:12,273 --> 00:19:13,373
Oh, no, no, sir.
536
00:19:13,375 --> 00:19:14,641
In this country,
we say "sorry."
537
00:19:14,643 --> 00:19:16,142
If you're going to be
an American,
538
00:19:16,144 --> 00:19:18,277
act like an American;
shoot someone, do something.
539
00:19:18,279 --> 00:19:20,380
Yes, steal some land
from the Indians.
540
00:19:20,382 --> 00:19:21,481
[dramatic musical flourish]
Ha-ha-ha!
541
00:19:21,483 --> 00:19:23,216
[gasping]
542
00:19:23,218 --> 00:19:24,584
How dare you.
543
00:19:24,586 --> 00:19:26,552
I'm "sore-ry."
I'm "sore-ry."
544
00:19:26,554 --> 00:19:27,720
I'm sorry.
545
00:19:28,423 --> 00:19:28,454
I'm "sore-ry."
I'm "sore-ry."
546
00:19:28,726 --> 00:19:30,326
Garfield.
547
00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:32,694
Remove this from my sight.
548
00:19:32,696 --> 00:19:34,929
I shall dispose
of it at once.
549
00:19:34,931 --> 00:19:39,467
Oh, unless you'd like
to use it with me.
550
00:19:39,469 --> 00:19:40,568
What?
551
00:19:40,570 --> 00:19:41,836
Please, Ms. Lillian,
552
00:19:41,838 --> 00:19:43,705
use your condom with me.
553
00:19:43,707 --> 00:19:45,340
Have nude relations
with me.
554
00:19:45,342 --> 00:19:46,875
You're ever so arousing.
555
00:19:46,877 --> 00:19:49,844
Garfield, this is
completely inappropriate.
556
00:19:49,846 --> 00:19:52,213
Well, I can't
control myself.
557
00:19:52,215 --> 00:19:55,083
Garfield, I will never
have sex with you.
558
00:19:55,085 --> 00:19:56,651
Never!
559
00:19:56,653 --> 00:19:58,553
You're a servant,
and I'm a queen.
560
00:19:58,555 --> 00:20:00,822
Please?
561
00:20:00,824 --> 00:20:03,692
I can't blame you for trying,
but the answer is no.
562
00:20:03,694 --> 00:20:05,193
[scoffs]
563
00:20:05,195 --> 00:20:07,829
[gentle instrumental music]
564
00:20:07,831 --> 00:20:09,531
Nothing makes me
feel more like myself
565
00:20:09,533 --> 00:20:12,033
than crushing
someone's sex dreams.
566
00:20:12,035 --> 00:20:15,670
A good servant always knows
what his master needs.
567
00:20:15,672 --> 00:20:17,305
And McConnell,
who's the cornerback,
568
00:20:17,307 --> 00:20:19,441
who's a big man,
he has the pigskin in his hand,
569
00:20:19,443 --> 00:20:21,910
and he can see Gus Davis, who's
the tight end down the line.
570
00:20:21,912 --> 00:20:23,144
I know.
I couldn't believe it either
571
00:20:23,146 --> 00:20:24,879
when I first saw
or heard about it.
572
00:20:24,881 --> 00:20:27,248
But he throws it, and the
pigskin sails through the air--
573
00:20:27,250 --> 00:20:28,650
I'm sorry.
574
00:20:28,652 --> 00:20:30,485
There's something
I have to do.
575
00:20:30,487 --> 00:20:33,521
[tender instrumental music]
576
00:20:33,523 --> 00:20:36,323
577
00:20:53,455 --> 00:20:55,919
_
[farting and peeing]
578
00:20:57,782 --> 00:21:00,196
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
579
00:21:00,246 --> 00:21:04,796
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
39366
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