Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,873 --> 00:00:03,686
Contagious.
2
00:00:03,707 --> 00:00:05,473
We must contain this pandemic.
3
00:00:05,475 --> 00:00:06,941
[coughing, retching]
4
00:00:06,943 --> 00:00:09,310
- Contagious.
- Contagious.
5
00:00:09,312 --> 00:00:10,612
- Contagious.
- Contagious.
6
00:00:10,614 --> 00:00:11,780
- Contagious.
- Contagious.
7
00:00:11,782 --> 00:00:12,947
- [crying]
- Contagious.
8
00:00:12,949 --> 00:00:15,984
[soft piano music]
9
00:00:15,986 --> 00:00:21,823
10
00:00:21,825 --> 00:00:24,759
Everyone stay back! Stay back, damn you!
11
00:00:24,761 --> 00:00:26,027
[door slams shut]
12
00:00:28,231 --> 00:00:31,332
Excuse me, sir, but I'm afraid we must
13
00:00:31,334 --> 00:00:32,834
quarantine the downstairs.
14
00:00:32,836 --> 00:00:35,737
We're having a tiny outbreak situation.
15
00:00:35,739 --> 00:00:38,973
The cook and staff have
"beshitted" most of the kitchen.
16
00:00:38,975 --> 00:00:41,276
Oh, those poor people!
17
00:00:41,278 --> 00:00:43,077
You mean, "Oh, those poor people."
18
00:00:43,079 --> 00:00:44,779
I'm telling you, Daddy, it's high time
19
00:00:44,781 --> 00:00:46,514
we got one of those
modern, new flamethrowers
20
00:00:46,516 --> 00:00:48,750
and burnt that
whole downstairs to a crisp.
21
00:00:48,752 --> 00:00:50,285
Maybe then they can make a cr?me br?l?e
22
00:00:50,287 --> 00:00:52,287
- that doesn't taste like snot!
- [dish shatters]
23
00:00:52,289 --> 00:00:54,122
How can you think about dessert
24
00:00:54,124 --> 00:00:55,690
at a time like this?
25
00:00:55,692 --> 00:00:56,991
I just finished my entree,
26
00:00:56,993 --> 00:00:58,301
what else am I supposed to think about?
27
00:00:58,303 --> 00:01:01,196
Well, as a proud "Grey Lady"
of the Red Cross
28
00:01:01,198 --> 00:01:03,865
Volunteers Corp,
I'll be going downstairs
29
00:01:03,867 --> 00:01:05,834
to save those poor souls.
30
00:01:05,836 --> 00:01:07,368
Well, the only thing
I'm interested in saving
31
00:01:07,370 --> 00:01:09,370
is the family fortune
and my rear virginity...
32
00:01:09,372 --> 00:01:10,805
for second marriage. [giggles]
33
00:01:10,807 --> 00:01:12,473
That's my baby girl. [clears throat]
34
00:01:12,475 --> 00:01:15,310
Peepers, whatever we do,
lets do it quietly.
35
00:01:15,312 --> 00:01:18,213
I'm afraid the Lookie-Loos
already sniffing about.
36
00:01:18,215 --> 00:01:19,914
The newspaper's here?
37
00:01:19,916 --> 00:01:21,416
[upbeat string music]
38
00:01:21,418 --> 00:01:24,152
Well, then, lets save these
poor souls in their final hours!
39
00:01:24,154 --> 00:01:27,222
The last thing those poor people need
40
00:01:27,224 --> 00:01:29,691
- is you, Lillian!
- No, I'm going to do that.
41
00:01:29,693 --> 00:01:31,059
The last thing they need is you!
42
00:01:31,061 --> 00:01:34,429
Your disease is more
rampant than theirs is!
43
00:01:34,431 --> 00:01:37,165
- I am certified to deal with it!
- I'm winning.
44
00:01:37,167 --> 00:01:39,567
I want the money, I want the fame
45
00:01:39,569 --> 00:01:42,003
I want the whole world
to know my name
46
00:01:42,005 --> 00:01:44,339
This is mine, I got to get it
47
00:01:44,341 --> 00:01:46,841
I got to get it, got, got to get it
48
00:01:46,843 --> 00:01:48,109
"Another Period"
49
00:01:48,147 --> 00:01:52,136
Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com
50
00:01:52,215 --> 00:01:55,116
[crickets chirping]
51
00:01:59,522 --> 00:02:01,222
How are you sleeping?
52
00:02:01,224 --> 00:02:02,891
- [both scream]
- Kill him first!
53
00:02:02,893 --> 00:02:04,492
Identify yourself, state your price
54
00:02:04,494 --> 00:02:06,661
and then write to my father
and ask him for that price!
55
00:02:06,663 --> 00:02:08,463
Frederick, it's me.
56
00:02:09,566 --> 00:02:12,200
[gasps] Oh, hello, Beatrice.
57
00:02:12,202 --> 00:02:14,168
I was just having
the most delicious dream
58
00:02:14,170 --> 00:02:16,537
about a bear with human hands.
59
00:02:16,539 --> 00:02:18,339
[scoffs] What the hell
are you doing here?
60
00:02:18,341 --> 00:02:20,308
Well, I wanted to tell you
the good news.
61
00:02:20,310 --> 00:02:23,278
Father set me up with a suitor
and I think I like him.
62
00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:25,613
You travelled 12 hours by train,
63
00:02:25,615 --> 00:02:27,582
broke into our house, into our room,
64
00:02:27,584 --> 00:02:29,617
and all that just to say
you met someone?
65
00:02:29,619 --> 00:02:31,085
No, that's ridiculous.
66
00:02:31,087 --> 00:02:33,421
We travelled by carriage
and it took two weeks.
67
00:02:33,423 --> 00:02:36,090
Anyway, his name is Dick
and he's the president
68
00:02:36,092 --> 00:02:37,425
of the Pinta Yacht Club.
69
00:02:37,427 --> 00:02:39,193
- He's the president?
- Mm-hmm.
70
00:02:39,195 --> 00:02:41,129
Darn it, I'm only the vice president.
71
00:02:41,131 --> 00:02:43,231
You're vice president
of the United States.
72
00:02:43,233 --> 00:02:45,099
You don't have to rub it in my face.
73
00:02:45,101 --> 00:02:47,368
All right, enough, Beatrice,
it's time for you to leave.
74
00:02:47,370 --> 00:02:49,270
Freddie has got a country to run.
75
00:02:49,272 --> 00:02:50,872
Ohh, okay. Bye, Beatrice.
76
00:02:50,874 --> 00:02:53,574
Well, can't wait to meet
your new friend.
77
00:02:53,576 --> 00:02:56,344
- Now, ta-ta.
- You mean it, Celery?
78
00:02:56,346 --> 00:02:59,047
- A double date?
- Uh, not... not really.
79
00:02:59,049 --> 00:03:00,311
We can do it tonight!
80
00:03:00,313 --> 00:03:02,050
I'm at the hotel
across from the penis monument.
81
00:03:02,052 --> 00:03:04,419
Oh, Beatrice, I made a similar mistake.
82
00:03:04,421 --> 00:03:07,221
It's actually called
the Washington Penis.
83
00:03:07,223 --> 00:03:09,390
Oh, okay. Celery...
84
00:03:09,392 --> 00:03:11,125
you're the best sister in the world!
85
00:03:11,127 --> 00:03:13,061
Okay. Oh, no. Oh... ohh.
86
00:03:13,063 --> 00:03:14,862
I'll see you tonight.
87
00:03:14,864 --> 00:03:16,159
Bye, Freddie.
88
00:03:16,900 --> 00:03:19,540
Did she say you were
officially sisters now?
89
00:03:20,403 --> 00:03:22,437
[gloomy music]
90
00:03:22,439 --> 00:03:23,938
[coughing]
91
00:03:23,940 --> 00:03:27,442
92
00:03:27,444 --> 00:03:30,345
May God bless you
and keep you, my child.
93
00:03:30,347 --> 00:03:32,580
Heiress coming through. [laughs]
94
00:03:32,582 --> 00:03:34,282
Oh, if it isn't Brussels Sheridan
95
00:03:34,284 --> 00:03:36,351
of the Lookie-Loos Society Pages.
96
00:03:36,353 --> 00:03:38,319
If it isn't Lillian Bellacourt.
97
00:03:38,321 --> 00:03:40,922
Would you like to get
a few photographic stills of me?
98
00:03:40,924 --> 00:03:42,123
I could grab one of these near dead
99
00:03:42,125 --> 00:03:43,825
in the better lighting. Oh, yes!
100
00:03:43,827 --> 00:03:45,626
Excuse me, we're taking a picture!
101
00:03:45,628 --> 00:03:47,795
- [pounds on glass]
- Lady of the house speaking.
102
00:03:47,797 --> 00:03:49,464
Everyone come close,
we're gonna do a little
103
00:03:49,466 --> 00:03:51,032
"photo-graph."
104
00:03:51,034 --> 00:03:52,667
Oh. Oh!
105
00:03:52,669 --> 00:03:54,769
- On three.
- All right, everyone, ready?
106
00:03:54,771 --> 00:03:57,772
One, two, three!
107
00:03:57,774 --> 00:03:58,950
[shutter clicks]
108
00:03:59,809 --> 00:04:01,175
- Un, deux...
- [snapping fingers]
109
00:04:01,177 --> 00:04:02,777
un, deux, trois, quatre.
110
00:04:02,779 --> 00:04:05,246
- [all singing]
-
Wade in the water
111
00:04:05,248 --> 00:04:07,849
Wade in the water
112
00:04:07,851 --> 00:04:10,485
Wade in the water
113
00:04:10,487 --> 00:04:12,787
God's gonna trouble the water
114
00:04:12,789 --> 00:04:15,156
-
Now wade in that water
- He's doing it again!
115
00:04:15,158 --> 00:04:16,357
- He's doing it again!
- What?
116
00:04:16,359 --> 00:04:18,026
- Hello. Hello.
- What'd I do?
117
00:04:18,028 --> 00:04:21,729
Stop manjacking like a bunch
of Baltimore Slavics.
118
00:04:21,731 --> 00:04:23,765
We are the Gentlemen Callers, please.
119
00:04:23,767 --> 00:04:25,700
The Boston Barber-Fest is next week.
120
00:04:25,702 --> 00:04:27,835
It's where the Dandy Dollops
got their start!
121
00:04:27,837 --> 00:04:30,505
That's why I suggest that I do the solo
122
00:04:30,507 --> 00:04:33,141
because I am the face
of contemporary barber shop.
123
00:04:33,143 --> 00:04:36,177
You are the face of a sad
and pathetic man.
124
00:04:36,179 --> 00:04:37,841
Oh, well, in that case,
I'm the face of you.
125
00:04:38,314 --> 00:04:39,521
[stammers]
126
00:04:39,849 --> 00:04:44,352
[hip-hop music]
127
00:04:44,354 --> 00:04:47,155
So how exactly did you two meet again?
128
00:04:47,157 --> 00:04:48,890
Oh, it's such a funny story.
129
00:04:48,892 --> 00:04:50,591
- Do you want to tell it?
- No, you tell it.
130
00:04:50,593 --> 00:04:52,860
- Okay, we'll both tell it.
- Yes. [giggles]
131
00:04:52,862 --> 00:04:54,395
The Commodore was doing a business deal
132
00:04:54,397 --> 00:04:56,197
with my father, Admiral Firestone...
133
00:04:56,199 --> 00:04:58,733
Mm-hmm and he thought I would
make a fruitful bargaining chip.
134
00:04:58,735 --> 00:05:01,602
So, as luck would have it,
he said that in exchange
135
00:05:01,604 --> 00:05:04,005
for my family's oil rights
in Nova Scotia...
136
00:05:04,007 --> 00:05:05,540
Commodore would give him his opal mines,
137
00:05:05,542 --> 00:05:08,242
$750,000 worth of gold bullion...
138
00:05:08,244 --> 00:05:11,679
And his tallest daughter
who just happens to be...
139
00:05:11,681 --> 00:05:14,382
- both: Beatrice!
- [both laugh]
140
00:05:14,384 --> 00:05:17,118
My father heard that and he said, "Sold!
141
00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:21,086
both: "You can't put a price
on opal these days."
142
00:05:21,724 --> 00:05:25,093
143
00:05:25,095 --> 00:05:26,761
[groans]
144
00:05:26,763 --> 00:05:27,998
I hate water.
145
00:05:28,598 --> 00:05:30,038
Tastes like my mouth.
146
00:05:30,433 --> 00:05:32,700
[sighs]
147
00:05:32,702 --> 00:05:35,136
- [clinks on window]
- [splashes]
148
00:05:35,138 --> 00:05:36,754
Next!
149
00:05:38,141 --> 00:05:39,540
[screams]
150
00:05:39,542 --> 00:05:41,476
Get out of here, Lillian!
151
00:05:41,478 --> 00:05:43,711
- You're burning the servants.
- No,
152
00:05:43,713 --> 00:05:45,546
I'm the one who's gonna slop these hogs.
153
00:05:45,548 --> 00:05:48,649
There's a typhoid epidemic
going on here, Lillian,
154
00:05:48,651 --> 00:05:51,385
- so I suggest you move over.
- No!
155
00:05:51,387 --> 00:05:53,554
I'm more compassionate
than you, you sloth..
156
00:05:53,556 --> 00:05:56,457
[laughs] The sloth is the gentlest
157
00:05:56,459 --> 00:05:59,460
of the South American Pilosa
genus of placental mammals.
158
00:05:59,462 --> 00:06:01,896
So I'll take it as a compliment.
159
00:06:01,898 --> 00:06:04,465
Take it however you wish, just move!
160
00:06:04,467 --> 00:06:06,134
Oh, you like to push?
161
00:06:06,136 --> 00:06:09,937
How about a push
from a certified Grey Lady?
162
00:06:09,939 --> 00:06:11,973
[screams] [both grunting]
163
00:06:11,975 --> 00:06:14,775
Contagious! Contagious!
164
00:06:14,777 --> 00:06:17,678
Everyone, hold your breath!
165
00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:19,747
[whimpers]
166
00:06:19,749 --> 00:06:22,250
- Infected patient...
- No!
167
00:06:22,252 --> 00:06:25,052
Please step behind the partition.
168
00:06:25,054 --> 00:06:26,387
No, no, if I'm going to be infected,
169
00:06:26,389 --> 00:06:27,822
it would be from
a rich person's disease.
170
00:06:27,824 --> 00:06:30,291
Like gold poisoning
or a governor's rash,
171
00:06:30,293 --> 00:06:31,959
not... not typhoid.
172
00:06:31,961 --> 00:06:34,195
Contagious. Contagious.
173
00:06:34,197 --> 00:06:35,229
[whimpers]
174
00:06:37,620 --> 00:06:40,187
So, what I'm dying to know is
175
00:06:40,189 --> 00:06:41,670
how did you two meet?
176
00:06:42,291 --> 00:06:44,391
Fredrick, would you
like to tell the story?
177
00:06:44,393 --> 00:06:46,327
No, it's boring and I don't remember it.
178
00:06:47,597 --> 00:06:49,396
Oh, soup! [chuckles]
179
00:06:51,601 --> 00:06:54,535
Aah! Hot! Hot! Mouth!
180
00:06:54,537 --> 00:06:55,736
[groaning]
181
00:06:55,738 --> 00:06:58,183
Ooh, soup fools me every time. [sighs]
182
00:06:58,708 --> 00:07:01,208
You know I feel a bit
of a headache coming on.
183
00:07:01,210 --> 00:07:03,410
Perhaps I'll go walk the gardens.
184
00:07:03,412 --> 00:07:06,580
- Get some fresh air.
- Okay, bye.
185
00:07:06,582 --> 00:07:08,318
[clears throat]
186
00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:11,051
Oh! Can I have your dessert
187
00:07:11,053 --> 00:07:12,551
if it gets here before you come back?
188
00:07:12,888 --> 00:07:14,151
[sighs]
189
00:07:14,924 --> 00:07:16,206
Excuse me.
190
00:07:19,228 --> 00:07:21,740
Should someone go and check
and see if she's unwell?
191
00:07:21,765 --> 00:07:23,464
Oh, I would, but I don't want to miss
192
00:07:23,466 --> 00:07:25,570
my soup at its ideal temperature.
193
00:07:26,102 --> 00:07:28,569
I'll just go check
and see how she's doing.
194
00:07:28,571 --> 00:07:29,870
Okay, bye.
195
00:07:33,843 --> 00:07:36,110
Aah! Still hot!
196
00:07:36,112 --> 00:07:37,945
Still so hot! Come here.
197
00:07:37,947 --> 00:07:41,482
- [panting]
- [blowing]
198
00:07:41,484 --> 00:07:43,517
- Better?
- Uhhuh.
199
00:07:43,519 --> 00:07:46,420
[hip-hop music]
200
00:07:46,422 --> 00:07:49,256
Okay, no one is supposed
to come close to this line.
201
00:07:49,258 --> 00:07:50,791
Do you understand?
202
00:07:50,793 --> 00:07:52,359
Everyone away.
203
00:07:52,361 --> 00:07:54,928
Give Miss Lillian some space
for God's sakes!
204
00:07:54,930 --> 00:07:56,697
No one's even coming near her.
205
00:07:56,699 --> 00:07:58,265
This must be some kind of mistake.
206
00:07:58,267 --> 00:08:00,501
I-I can't catch
the same disease as servants.
207
00:08:00,503 --> 00:08:02,870
I mean, we're practically
not even the same species.
208
00:08:02,872 --> 00:08:05,105
You don't catch a fever from a horse.
209
00:08:05,107 --> 00:08:06,640
You don't acquire
an immune deficiency virus
210
00:08:06,642 --> 00:08:09,273
from a monkey. Over the line!
211
00:08:10,479 --> 00:08:13,547
[crying] Everyone just leave her be!
212
00:08:13,549 --> 00:08:14,374
[wincing]
213
00:08:14,376 --> 00:08:19,353
Poor, Lillian! Poor, Lillian!
214
00:08:19,355 --> 00:08:23,123
[gentle music]
215
00:08:23,125 --> 00:08:25,359
Mind if I join your constitutional?
216
00:08:25,361 --> 00:08:28,962
- Oh, I would be delighted.
- [inhales deeply]
217
00:08:28,964 --> 00:08:32,566
I have to say, it's nice
to spend a moment with an adult.
218
00:08:32,568 --> 00:08:35,002
[chuckles] Trouble in paradise?
219
00:08:35,004 --> 00:08:38,205
Oh, it's Fredrick.
He can just be so childish.
220
00:08:38,555 --> 00:08:40,255
He doesn't know how soup works,
221
00:08:40,615 --> 00:08:41,842
he's convinced he's got a twin brother
222
00:08:41,844 --> 00:08:43,241
who lives in the mirror,
223
00:08:43,729 --> 00:08:45,212
he's afraid of clouds.
224
00:08:45,537 --> 00:08:48,148
Sometimes I wish I had met
a proper gentleman,
225
00:08:48,150 --> 00:08:49,413
- like yourself.
- Oh...
226
00:08:49,985 --> 00:08:51,790
I'm afraid I'm no gentleman.
227
00:08:52,655 --> 00:08:54,734
I have a confession to make, Celery.
228
00:08:55,224 --> 00:08:57,775
The only reason
I came out here was to...
229
00:08:58,094 --> 00:09:00,160
bend you over in the woods.
230
00:09:00,162 --> 00:09:02,763
Oh, Dick.
231
00:09:02,765 --> 00:09:05,332
Garfield, who are all these people?
232
00:09:05,334 --> 00:09:08,702
Well, that's Connie, the chef,
233
00:09:08,704 --> 00:09:11,238
and that's Quincy, the coal shoveler,
234
00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:13,941
and that's Pearl, she was your wet nurse
235
00:09:13,943 --> 00:09:17,377
and your primary companion for
the first 19 years of your life.
236
00:09:18,007 --> 00:09:19,855
Huh.
237
00:09:20,116 --> 00:09:22,850
And... and what about that
little woman. What does she do?
238
00:09:22,852 --> 00:09:24,585
She kills and plucks the egrets
239
00:09:24,587 --> 00:09:26,686
for the feather collars of your stoles.
240
00:09:28,924 --> 00:09:31,503
You mean, without her
my collar would just be...
241
00:09:31,894 --> 00:09:34,362
- a plain collar?
- Yes, ma'am.
242
00:09:34,764 --> 00:09:36,196
What about my bowel movements
243
00:09:36,198 --> 00:09:38,599
that magically disappear by morning?
244
00:09:38,601 --> 00:09:41,568
Well, I'm proud to say,
I remove those myself.
245
00:09:41,570 --> 00:09:43,036
But there's always a little note
246
00:09:43,038 --> 00:09:44,705
saying they've taken
a "stroll to Brown Town"
247
00:09:44,707 --> 00:09:46,573
with a caricature in a top hat.
248
00:09:46,575 --> 00:09:48,442
249
00:09:48,444 --> 00:09:49,658
Oh.
250
00:09:50,446 --> 00:09:53,242
All these years I knew
you were "serve-ants,"
251
00:09:53,749 --> 00:09:55,549
but it never occurred to me that
252
00:09:55,551 --> 00:09:57,684
you were "serve-people."
253
00:09:57,686 --> 00:09:58,919
Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn
254
00:09:58,921 --> 00:10:00,487
Damn, son
255
00:10:01,557 --> 00:10:03,457
both: Mmm.
256
00:10:03,459 --> 00:10:05,759
Double dates are so much more
fun when its just two people.
257
00:10:05,761 --> 00:10:07,628
Mm-hmm. And how delightful
258
00:10:07,630 --> 00:10:09,396
that we can be in such
a romantic setting
259
00:10:09,398 --> 00:10:11,098
and not even think about
getting back together?
260
00:10:11,100 --> 00:10:12,499
[chuckles] That's so true.
261
00:10:12,501 --> 00:10:14,902
- Mm-hmm.
- We are just friends now.
262
00:10:14,904 --> 00:10:16,035
Mm-hmm.
263
00:10:18,012 --> 00:10:20,546
[giggles] See? It just feels so normal.
264
00:10:20,548 --> 00:10:22,048
Yes, it's like playing a game of chess
265
00:10:22,050 --> 00:10:23,749
or being pen pals.
266
00:10:24,852 --> 00:10:26,452
Oh, call me Mr. Buttfingers,
267
00:10:26,454 --> 00:10:28,320
I've gotten chocolate
all over your face.
268
00:10:30,004 --> 00:10:32,271
- Shall I lick it off?
- Oh, well...
269
00:10:32,630 --> 00:10:34,794
- As a friend.
- I think that would be fine,
270
00:10:34,796 --> 00:10:37,396
- but only as a friend.
- Of course.
271
00:10:37,398 --> 00:10:40,199
Mm-hmm.
272
00:10:40,201 --> 00:10:42,301
Hmm. That felt so normal.
273
00:10:42,303 --> 00:10:43,636
Mm-hmm. [chuckles]
274
00:10:43,638 --> 00:10:45,671
It was almost like kissing, though.
275
00:10:45,673 --> 00:10:47,840
Oh, yes. [chuckles]
276
00:10:47,842 --> 00:10:49,408
Okay, I have a silly question for you.
277
00:10:49,410 --> 00:10:50,976
- Yes?
- Is there such a thing
278
00:10:50,978 --> 00:10:54,814
- as friends who kiss?
- Hmm. Sure there are.
279
00:10:54,816 --> 00:10:56,382
- They're called "pecking pals."
- Oh.
280
00:10:56,384 --> 00:10:57,917
Yes, they're all the rage in Boise.
281
00:10:57,919 --> 00:10:59,867
- Hmm.
- Shall we try?
282
00:11:00,254 --> 00:11:02,788
- I think that would be fine.
- Okay.
283
00:11:05,893 --> 00:11:07,226
- [laughs]
- I felt nothing.
284
00:11:07,228 --> 00:11:08,958
Delightful. [chuckles]
285
00:11:09,330 --> 00:11:10,830
Should we try once more with tongue?
286
00:11:10,832 --> 00:11:12,198
- Mm-hmm. Yes.
- Okay.
287
00:11:14,936 --> 00:11:17,336
[moaning] Oh, Dick,
288
00:11:17,338 --> 00:11:19,772
you're such a man. Such an adult.
289
00:11:19,774 --> 00:11:21,741
Oh, I'm a man, alright.
290
00:11:21,743 --> 00:11:23,209
Guess how many shipping concerns
291
00:11:23,211 --> 00:11:25,244
- I'm responsible for.
- How many?
292
00:11:25,246 --> 00:11:27,546
- Two.
- Oh, tell me more!
293
00:11:27,548 --> 00:11:30,516
Do you have important
responsibilities at your job?
294
00:11:30,518 --> 00:11:32,451
Oh, extremely important.
295
00:11:32,453 --> 00:11:34,920
I often have many people relying on me
296
00:11:34,922 --> 00:11:38,090
- and never have time for myself.
- [moans loudly] Don't stop!
297
00:11:38,092 --> 00:11:40,526
- Keep going!
- Sometimes...
298
00:11:40,528 --> 00:11:43,729
I work... through... lunch!
299
00:11:43,731 --> 00:11:44,930
[screams]
300
00:11:44,932 --> 00:11:48,134
[hip-hop music]
301
00:11:48,136 --> 00:11:51,070
- Ohh...
- [overlapping coughing]
302
00:11:57,111 --> 00:11:59,111
If I might be so bold,
303
00:11:59,113 --> 00:12:02,114
I hope your typhoid death
is swift and painless.
304
00:12:02,116 --> 00:12:04,216
- Do you have a name?
- Ethany.
305
00:12:04,707 --> 00:12:06,719
Oh, that's unfortunate.
306
00:12:06,721 --> 00:12:08,454
Better name you could've
made some friends.
307
00:12:08,456 --> 00:12:10,058
I'm sure you're right, Miss.
308
00:12:10,625 --> 00:12:12,474
Don't matter much now, though...
309
00:12:13,060 --> 00:12:16,862
seeing as we're gonna die soon anyway.
310
00:12:19,167 --> 00:12:21,947
No! No, it can't be like this!
311
00:12:22,336 --> 00:12:25,304
Garfield, everyone,
I want to get to know
312
00:12:25,306 --> 00:12:26,939
each and every one of you.
313
00:12:26,941 --> 00:12:29,742
And just so you know,
a rich person knowing you
314
00:12:29,744 --> 00:12:31,277
is as good as going to heaven.
315
00:12:31,279 --> 00:12:33,979
[gentle music]
316
00:12:33,981 --> 00:12:36,615
Well, the worst thing I've ever done
317
00:12:36,617 --> 00:12:38,617
is suck the bone marrow
out of the old bones
318
00:12:38,619 --> 00:12:40,252
reserved for the dogs.
319
00:12:40,254 --> 00:12:42,321
Not Mayor Cutie's bones!
320
00:12:42,323 --> 00:12:45,124
She needs that marrow
to prevent hip dysplasia!
321
00:12:46,794 --> 00:12:50,429
Oh, well, I forgive you,
but don't let Mayor Cutie know,
322
00:12:50,431 --> 00:12:52,131
she might not be as easy to forgive.
323
00:12:52,779 --> 00:12:57,096
I was responsible
for the great fire of 1892.
324
00:12:57,635 --> 00:13:00,536
That's how I lost my parents.
325
00:13:00,538 --> 00:13:02,880
Hush, child, you've had your turn.
326
00:13:03,241 --> 00:13:04,896
- Blanche?
- Huh?
327
00:13:05,611 --> 00:13:08,812
I-I-I don't...
I-I've never done anything.
328
00:13:08,814 --> 00:13:11,615
Such as I've never thrown anyone
down a flight of stairs...
329
00:13:11,617 --> 00:13:13,917
- for example.
- [laughing]
330
00:13:13,919 --> 00:13:17,821
Blanche, you're so boring.
I once stole a towel.
331
00:13:17,823 --> 00:13:20,657
Well, my real sin is the time...
332
00:13:20,659 --> 00:13:22,984
enamored with one of my coworkers...
333
00:13:23,762 --> 00:13:25,729
- [farts]
- Oh!
334
00:13:25,731 --> 00:13:28,598
- Off to make brown water.
- [stomach gurgling]
335
00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:30,033
Ohh!
336
00:13:31,136 --> 00:13:32,335
Lillian, your turn.
337
00:13:32,337 --> 00:13:34,638
[chuckles] My greatest sin...
338
00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:36,272
[gentle music]
339
00:13:36,274 --> 00:13:37,907
Is not realizing that
some of the greatest people
340
00:13:37,909 --> 00:13:40,410
I've ever known
were living right underneath me.
341
00:13:40,412 --> 00:13:42,979
[all gasp, aww]
342
00:13:42,981 --> 00:13:45,815
Oh, that and once I aborted a child
343
00:13:45,817 --> 00:13:47,647
to fit into a dress.
344
00:13:48,459 --> 00:13:49,691
Aww.
345
00:13:51,923 --> 00:13:53,656
[panting, whimpering]
346
00:13:53,658 --> 00:13:55,424
I'm hungry.
347
00:13:55,426 --> 00:13:57,626
Let's not just lay here and die.
348
00:13:57,628 --> 00:13:59,528
Let's prepare a last supper
349
00:13:59,530 --> 00:14:01,864
and eat together as friends.
350
00:14:01,866 --> 00:14:04,600
Yes, you heard her. Let's do it!
351
00:14:04,602 --> 00:14:06,435
Ethany, prepare the gruel.
352
00:14:06,437 --> 00:14:09,638
Flobelle, wash some spoons.
353
00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:12,308
- Lillian...
- Oh, Garfield.
354
00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:14,677
Some lines must never be crossed.
355
00:14:14,679 --> 00:14:17,546
Today I became your sister,
but I'll always be...
356
00:14:17,548 --> 00:14:20,282
- your master.
- Of course.
357
00:14:20,284 --> 00:14:23,352
Of course! Of course!
358
00:14:23,354 --> 00:14:27,823
[gentle music]
359
00:14:27,825 --> 00:14:29,587
- [exhales sharply] Mm.
- [chuckles]
360
00:14:29,640 --> 00:14:31,807
That is fun and it's great
and I like it.
361
00:14:31,809 --> 00:14:33,742
- [both laugh]
- Me, too.
362
00:14:33,744 --> 00:14:36,478
[sighs] But it isn't strange, is it?
363
00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:38,313
- Hmm?
- I mean, we had chocolate
364
00:14:38,315 --> 00:14:40,249
all over ourselves,
we had to get it off.
365
00:14:40,251 --> 00:14:43,519
Yes, it would've been strange
to have left the chocolate on.
366
00:14:43,521 --> 00:14:45,120
Chocolate isn't clothes.
367
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,270
Also, we bathed together all the time
368
00:14:47,272 --> 00:14:48,352
- when we were babies.
- Exactly.
369
00:14:48,354 --> 00:14:49,920
And we're the same people
we were back then.
370
00:14:49,922 --> 00:14:52,456
- Mm-hmm.
- We're bathing as friends.
371
00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:53,938
- Bubble buddies.
- [giggles]
372
00:14:56,362 --> 00:14:58,529
- [deeply sighs]
- What's wrong, buddy?
373
00:14:58,531 --> 00:15:02,033
Oh, bathing always makes me so tense.
374
00:15:02,035 --> 00:15:05,036
Oh, no, now I feel tense, too.
375
00:15:05,038 --> 00:15:06,637
- Hmm.
- What are we going to do?
376
00:15:06,639 --> 00:15:10,307
Maybe a warm glass of milk
could do the trick.
377
00:15:10,309 --> 00:15:13,477
Oh, they're all dried up.
378
00:15:13,479 --> 00:15:14,979
You've been gone a long time.
379
00:15:14,981 --> 00:15:16,414
Hmm.
380
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:17,882
Well, the only other option
that I can think of
381
00:15:17,884 --> 00:15:20,351
to relax me is sex, but...
382
00:15:20,353 --> 00:15:21,952
Hmm...
383
00:15:21,954 --> 00:15:24,889
Well, sex does always make me
feel more breezy.
384
00:15:24,891 --> 00:15:26,457
- It does, doesn't it?
- Mm-hmm.
385
00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:28,092
- [chuckles]
- But...
386
00:15:28,094 --> 00:15:31,128
- Can you fornicate as friends?
- Certainly.
387
00:15:31,130 --> 00:15:33,049
Yeah, but as long
as it's just as friends.
388
00:15:33,051 --> 00:15:34,432
Yes, just as friends.
389
00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:36,901
- Coitus colleagues.
- I think I've heard of that.
390
00:15:36,903 --> 00:15:38,069
I think I've heard of that, too.
391
00:15:38,094 --> 00:15:40,103
- Yeah.
- Okay.
392
00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:44,608
[hip-hop music]
393
00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:45,843
394
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,847
Usually I eat every 35 minutes.
395
00:15:49,849 --> 00:15:51,749
This has been really hard.
396
00:15:51,751 --> 00:15:54,251
For you, Miss. I would be honored
397
00:15:54,253 --> 00:15:56,921
if this were to be
my last Earthly chore.
398
00:15:56,923 --> 00:15:58,856
Thank you, girl.
399
00:15:58,858 --> 00:16:00,681
So this is gruel.
400
00:16:00,683 --> 00:16:02,498
Never had gruel before, but...
401
00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:10,850
Tastes amazing.
402
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,402
Overwhelming amount of menthol...
403
00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:15,297
Mm.
404
00:16:16,008 --> 00:16:17,808
It's like cigarette milk!
405
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:20,044
[laughter]
406
00:16:20,046 --> 00:16:22,546
-
Hello
-
Bonjour
407
00:16:22,548 --> 00:16:25,816
Wie geht's
408
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,485
Oh, shit.
409
00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:33,412
- [all singing]
-
Around the world with hello
410
00:16:33,414 --> 00:16:36,227
Good morrow servants and servant ladies,
411
00:16:36,229 --> 00:16:38,229
we are the Gentlemen Callers
and we are here
412
00:16:38,231 --> 00:16:40,164
to entertain and delight you
413
00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:42,533
as you push off across the River Styx.
414
00:16:42,535 --> 00:16:45,503
Oh, Lillian.
415
00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:47,972
- You're here?
- Hard cheese indeed.
416
00:16:47,974 --> 00:16:49,406
Awkward. Awkward moments.
417
00:16:49,408 --> 00:16:51,575
Well, so, the short version,
418
00:16:51,577 --> 00:16:54,678
every barber shop organization
has a front man.
419
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,046
And despite the harmony in our voices,
420
00:16:56,048 --> 00:16:58,015
there's actually discord
as to who among us
421
00:16:58,017 --> 00:16:59,850
should be that front man.
422
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:02,887
So we shall audition for you
and you shall cast your vote.
423
00:17:02,889 --> 00:17:06,023
You the work-a-day, lack-witted,
424
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:07,658
unwashed and currently dying.
425
00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:09,426
- [clears throat]
- To give you an idea
426
00:17:09,428 --> 00:17:11,061
- of my background...
- First of all, no one knows...
427
00:17:11,063 --> 00:17:12,396
- I would like to...
- No, they...
428
00:17:12,398 --> 00:17:14,098
- Probably, because...
- No, no, no.
429
00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:15,199
I feel like it's only fair
that the baritone go first.
430
00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:17,067
[overlapping arguing]
431
00:17:17,069 --> 00:17:19,036
- Excuse me?
- What is it, child?
432
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:21,372
Maybe I could sing, sirs?
433
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:22,907
[gentle music]
434
00:17:22,909 --> 00:17:27,344
Amazing grace
435
00:17:27,346 --> 00:17:32,216
How sweet the sound
436
00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:36,887
That saved a wretch
437
00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:40,624
Like me
438
00:17:40,626 --> 00:17:43,260
[men laughing]
439
00:17:43,262 --> 00:17:45,296
Oh, sorry, I know
you're all having a moment.
440
00:17:45,298 --> 00:17:47,898
Here's my thing.
For me, I wanted to hear
441
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:52,603
the music, but all I heard
was you trying so hard.
442
00:17:52,605 --> 00:17:54,205
- Ugh.
- These are actually...
443
00:17:54,207 --> 00:17:56,140
I ha... I actually have tears of hatred.
444
00:17:56,142 --> 00:17:57,908
Bad. Bad news all around.
445
00:17:57,910 --> 00:17:59,777
With all due respect,
I think that's perhaps
446
00:17:59,779 --> 00:18:01,979
why we are talented musicians
447
00:18:01,981 --> 00:18:04,148
and you are dying of typhoid.
448
00:18:04,150 --> 00:18:06,417
- [coughing]
- Read the room next time.
449
00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:08,319
Just read the room.
'Cause you killed this room.
450
00:18:08,321 --> 00:18:09,753
This side of the room is dying.
451
00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:13,224
Oh, no! Someone... Someone get a doctor!
452
00:18:13,226 --> 00:18:14,925
Jaunt away. Jaunt away!
453
00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:16,594
Jaunt! Jaunt! Jaunt! Jaunt!
454
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:18,796
We're all gonna die!
455
00:18:18,798 --> 00:18:21,765
[sultry music]
456
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:27,638
457
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:29,340
Tell me your five-year plan!
458
00:18:29,342 --> 00:18:31,542
It... involves... diversification.
459
00:18:31,544 --> 00:18:33,277
- Don't look away.
- I won't.
460
00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:34,979
- Don't look away.
- I never look away.
461
00:18:34,981 --> 00:18:37,047
- Yes!
- You eat dirt.
462
00:18:37,049 --> 00:18:38,782
You eat dirt. That's a dirty girl.
463
00:18:38,784 --> 00:18:40,417
[both softly moaning]
464
00:18:40,419 --> 00:18:42,419
[both grunting, moaning]
465
00:18:42,421 --> 00:18:44,154
[both softly moaning]
466
00:18:44,156 --> 00:18:45,756
Aah!
467
00:18:45,758 --> 00:18:49,026
- [screams] Oh. Oh, my God.
- [sighs]
468
00:18:49,028 --> 00:18:50,995
- Whoo, that's good.
- That was good.
469
00:18:50,997 --> 00:18:53,464
[crying]
470
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:56,367
[dishes clanging]
471
00:18:57,470 --> 00:19:00,064
Get water. She needs water.
472
00:19:01,007 --> 00:19:03,274
[grunting]
473
00:19:03,276 --> 00:19:06,377
Attention, I bring the doctor with news.
474
00:19:06,379 --> 00:19:08,812
Right, how is everyone feeling?
475
00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:10,614
- [groans]
- Don't know why I ask.
476
00:19:10,616 --> 00:19:13,550
I could've asked my nose. [laughing]
477
00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:17,688
[scattered laughter]
478
00:19:17,690 --> 00:19:21,458
So, good news,
you just have food poisoning.
479
00:19:21,460 --> 00:19:24,028
It's pretty uncomfortable,
but not fatal at all.
480
00:19:24,030 --> 00:19:26,397
[all exclaim]
481
00:19:26,399 --> 00:19:29,199
So you're all going to live.
482
00:19:29,201 --> 00:19:31,702
I've already taken the liberty
of burning your possessions
483
00:19:31,704 --> 00:19:34,038
as a precaution and I'm docking you each
484
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:37,107
a month's worth of pay
for laying about on the job.
485
00:19:37,109 --> 00:19:38,734
Back to work!
486
00:19:39,245 --> 00:19:41,145
[gentle music]
487
00:19:41,147 --> 00:19:44,048
And, Miss, in spite of my terrible name,
488
00:19:44,050 --> 00:19:47,318
I did make a friend and her name...
489
00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:48,919
is Lillian.
490
00:19:50,496 --> 00:19:53,464
[soft string music]
491
00:19:53,466 --> 00:19:54,565
492
00:19:54,567 --> 00:19:55,900
Oh.
493
00:19:57,937 --> 00:20:01,939
Oh, dear, how I've missed you.
494
00:20:01,941 --> 00:20:03,841
What have you two been up to
495
00:20:03,843 --> 00:20:05,309
since we were gone?
496
00:20:05,311 --> 00:20:07,978
- Oh, just friend stuff.
- Yes.
497
00:20:07,980 --> 00:20:09,747
- Us, too.
- Oh!
498
00:20:09,749 --> 00:20:11,181
- How wonderful.
- [chuckles]
499
00:20:11,183 --> 00:20:13,317
Thank God we can all be friends.
500
00:20:13,319 --> 00:20:14,486
Mm-hmm.
501
00:20:15,021 --> 00:20:17,488
I never realized how easy
being friends is.
502
00:20:17,490 --> 00:20:19,924
Now I can have Fredrick and Dick.
503
00:20:19,926 --> 00:20:22,026
[hip-hop music]
504
00:20:22,028 --> 00:20:23,093
Bitch
505
00:20:23,095 --> 00:20:25,329
- [bell dings]
- Ethany!
506
00:20:25,331 --> 00:20:27,631
- [bell dings]
- Ethany!
507
00:20:27,633 --> 00:20:29,033
Yes, ma'am?
508
00:20:29,035 --> 00:20:31,001
Ethany, remember that meal we shared?
509
00:20:31,003 --> 00:20:33,771
Well, I've developed a bit
of a taste for that fever gruel.
510
00:20:33,773 --> 00:20:35,372
Would you go fetch me a bowl?
511
00:20:35,374 --> 00:20:36,608
Yes, ma'am.
512
00:20:37,209 --> 00:20:40,414
Oh, and, girl, make it two bowls.
513
00:20:41,136 --> 00:20:43,213
One for me and one for yourself.
514
00:20:43,350 --> 00:20:45,289
Yes, ma'am!
515
00:20:45,985 --> 00:20:47,985
- Oh, girl.
- Yes, ma'am?
516
00:20:47,987 --> 00:20:50,807
Actually, I'll take both bowls.
517
00:20:51,290 --> 00:20:52,723
I'm really hungry.
518
00:20:52,725 --> 00:20:54,458
- [deflated]
- Yes, ma'am.
519
00:20:54,508 --> 00:20:59,058
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
37234
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
