All language subtitles for American Housewife s03e07

Oliver, could you help
with the bags? No can do,

big ballet audition coming up.
Can't risk an injury.

I can guarantee you
an injury

if you don't bring in
this damn bag.

[ Trunk closes ]

Are we really gonna let
Oliver go off to that ballet boarding school?

[ Sighs ]
I don't know.

We've really been
kicking the can down the road on this one.

Now we're
all out of road. I guess there's

Tonya Harding him?
What?! No.

Let him audition and support him
no matter what happens.

We definitely have different
parenting styles.

[ Alarm beeping ]

What's the code
for the new alarm?

The same code we use for
everything -- 4673.

[ Buttons beeping, dings ]
Why did we even get an alarm?

Are we afraid someone's gonna
break in and steal our poverty?

Well, it's interesting.
The landlord installed it to lower our insurance --

Huh, turns out
I don't care.

Where did 4673 come from?

It was your Dad's code
when we were dating,

and then after we got married,
I started using it for my pin,

and now it's code
to everything in our lives.

But what does it mean?
I don't know.

I always thought
it was just a bunch of numbers.

Greg, what does 4673 mean?

Katie: Was that his
"I'm caught" face?

It stands for
April 6th, 1773,

the day of
the Boston Tea Party.

That's not right.

The Boston Tea Party
was December 16th, 1773.

Oh, look, toothpaste.

I better put it away
before it melts. Mm.

He's clearly hiding something
about that code,

and I'm gonna find out what
because in this house,

only I can have secrets.

♪♪

♪ But a hell of a lot
to get outta skid ♪

♪ People tell me
there's not a way outta skid ♪

♪ But believe me, I gotta get
outta skid row ♪

[ Applause ]

You guys
sound great together.

It's all Taylor.

She is amazing.

You should be playing Audrey,
not stuck as Plant Bud #3.

So, what's
this play about?

Oh, Pierce plays Seymour,

who is madly in love
with Audrey,

and he will do anything he can
to be with her,

even getting rid
of her boyfriend

by feeding him
to a killer plant.

♪♪

[ Chuckles ] Audrey's boyfriend
must be such a dope!

[ Chuckles ]
If that were me,

I'd be like, "Dude! Stop hanging
out with my girlfriend!"

Alright, you guys,
I'll see you guys later.

You guys
have great chemistry.

[ Chuckles nervously ]

Grandma...

you want to play Pandemic?

It's so fun.

We have to work together to find
a cure for a disease

before it destroys the world.

I'll pass.

What are you doing?

She wants
to spend time with you.

Well, then she should ask me
to do something

I find interesting.

Pushing through an Ambien
and going online shopping

is not really her jam,
so you're gonna have to come up

with another
way to bond with her.

[ Chuckling ] Like what?

I mean,
the other two I get.

The blond one's pretty,
and the boy loves money,

and those things
are in my wheelhouse,

but Anna-Kat and I
don't really

have anything in common.

And besides,
I don't have time.

Some delinquent has been
stealing my eye cream packages

from the front steps,

so now I have to sit here
and wait for it to come.

I know what you guys
could do together.

You could have a stakeout to see
who's stealing the eye cream.

Yeah, we can use the new
doorbell cam

to catch us a porch burglar
with beautiful under eyes.

I wou-- I would, but --

That's why you're here --

to spend quality time
with your grandchildren.

Otherwise, I don't know,

go buy a tent
and live in the woods,

make margaritas
with your own urine.

Stakeout it is.
Awesome!

So, I was thinking,

it's weird you got the date
wrong for the Boston Tea Party,

being a history professor
and all.

Oh, just 'cause
I'm a history professor,

I'm supposed to know
all the dates?

Do dancers know
all the dances?

I bet Baryshnikov doesn't know
how to do the Electric Slide.

Greg,
what does "4673" mean?

[ Sighs ]

[ Chuckles ]

This interrogation
can be quick and easy,

or it could last all night.

You think about
how you want to play it.

[ Sighs ]

It spells out "hope"
on a keypad.

Like, "Star Wars: A New Hope,"
"or hope springs eternal,"

my favorite phrase.

"Hope" that answers
your question.

[ Forceful laughing ]

Greg, why does it
spell "hope"?

Because when I got
a bank card in college,

I had a crush
on a girl named Hope.

That's it.

Who I then asked out...

and she said yes.

So we went out...

and continued to do so
for two years.

Two years?!
That's not that long!

Don't tell me
it's not that long!

For a reality star, that is
a baby, a marriage, a divorce,

and a launch
of a lifestyle brand!

This is why
I didn't want to tell you.

Because I knew
you'd overreact.

Naw, I'm cool, bruh.

I'm not overreacting.

You've seen me overreact.

Taylor, if you don't care
enough about your shoes

to put them away,

then you don't deserve
to have shoes!

Hi, Greg.
Hey, Katie.

So how did it end between you
and this Hope woman?

It doesn't matter.

If it doesn't matter,
then tell me.

Fine, we went out
for two years,

I thought she was "the one."

Then she dumped me
and broke my heart.

Where is she now?
I don't know.

I don't know,
and I don't care.

I married you.

Honey, I promise you.

This code is no big deal.

It is a huge deal!

Huge!

I can't believe Greg would even
date a girl named Hope.

Ugh, It's so trashy.
Totally.

Actually,
I love the name Hope. Me, too.

But who cares if we like it?
Hope's spirit is haunting

every nook and cranny
of your marriage.

You have to change
that code. But you can't stop there.

Mnh-mnh.
You need to send this Hope a message.

What do you mean?
Well, a few years ago,

I found a mix tape
from Richard's middle school girlfriend.

I not only burned it,

I then tracked the skank down,
stole her identity,

and then racked up all sorts of
charges at Barney's.

She won't be able to buy a house
for a very long time.

Solid Plan B,

but for now, I'm just gonna make
him change the code.

If for no other reason
than this is the first time

you two have ever agreed
on anything. No, it's not.

We've agreed
on something before. What?

That we both love
the name Hope.

[ Both laugh ]
Y'all are bitches. [ Laughs ]

Alright, let's do this.
Okay.

[ Grunts ]

[ Scoffs ] That's it.
I suck.

I'm never gonna get the girls'
ballet scholarship.

Have fun at Deervale
without me.

Even if I do
get the boys' scholarship,

I'm not going without you.

Really?

So, we both go
or neither of us go.

Deal?
Deal.

We'll practice all day.

Okay, now help me
get this lift.

Do it again!

Do it again!

[ Groans ] Do it again!

♪♪

We did it!
Those scholarships are totally ours.

Thanks for not
giving up on me.

We're in this together.

Don't do it again!

Yes, sir.

Oh, hey, Oliver.

How was ballet practice?

Great.
Gina and I got our move down.

Was it this move?

[ Whispering ] Gina...

Were you pervs spying on me
through the window?

We're not some creepy
peeping toms.

We watched you
on the doorbell cam.

[ Sighs ] I can't wait
to get out of this place.

Awfully uptight for a guy
who just got to first base.

[ Bells chiming ]
Alright, what do we got?

Taylor: [ Laughs ] Shut up!
I am not!

Is that Trip?

Tell him...
[deep voice] "wassup"...

[normal voice] like that.
Wassup?

Um, it's not Trip.
It's Pierce.

Hey, Mr. Otto!

Oh.

Pierce.

Is everything okay,
Mr. Otto?

Yeah.

All good.

Very disappointed about
something else.

Taylor's on the phone giggling
with a boy other than Trip.

Pierce?

Yeah.

Trip is nice,
respectful.

Sure, he pronounces spaghetti
"basketti,"

but he's basically
everything I want

for Taylor's
high school boyfriend.

This Pierce kid, he's sneaky.
I don't like him.

Well, you better be careful,

or she'll end up using Pierce's
name for a code or something.

We're still here?
We never left.

I want you
to change that code.

It's just a code!
A code that means Hope!

And Hope
is not good, Greg!

There will be no Hope
in this house.

It used to mean Hope.
Now it means 4673,

the series of numbers I use
whenever I need a code. That is my point.

We use it all the time,
and every time we do, Hope,

the girl who you'd be with
right now

if she hadn't dumped you,
is there.

Katie.
We use that code for our ATMs,

for our phones,
for our motel safes.

Hope has been
on every vacation with us.

I want it changed.

Katie, do you have any idea how
hard it would be to change

every code, pin number,
and password we've created over the last 20 years?

You're being crazy!
Don't call me crazy

for not wanting another woman
in our relationship.

Fine, not crazy --
Jealous.

You're being jealous
over nothing!

You mean to tell me
that you wouldn't be jealous

if I was parading around
mementos

from my past relationships
in front of you?

Yes, because we are
happily married.

Good to know.

[ Screams ]
[ Laughs ]

And another kid
crashes his scooter.

I told you when we put that
stick in the middle of the road

we'd see some action.

You owe me a dollar.
Oh, come on.

All right,
you can keep your dollar

if you get me some more ice
for my G&T.

Just use some
of my frozen grapes.

They keep the drink cold
without watering it down.

Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

I feel like I just had
my very first 'Lude.

Mama used to try
and dilute my juice with ice,

but I was onto
her little game.

If you ever work in a bar,

this should be
your signature move.

You know, you wouldn't even have
to flirt with married men

while their wives
are in the bathroom.

You could just throw a couple
of those grapes in their drinks,

and watch those tips
come pouring in!

I can't work at a bar.

I spill every time
I walk with a drink.

Oh, I can help you
with that.

Really?
Honey...

I could carry a martini
in high-altitude turbulence

while Richard Dawson
slapped my ass

without spilling a drop.
[ Chuckles ]

Grandma...

I love how you don't know
how to talk to children.

Oh, thanks.

Do you know where
my reading glasses are?

What's that?

You like my sweatshirt?

Oh, I forgot
I had it on.

You're probably wondering
where I even got it.

Not really.

Acapulco,
Spring Break '98.

The weather was hot,
and I was hotter.

All right,
I'll find them myself.

It wasn't long until a former
"Real World" cast member

noticed me.

We spent three days
on the beach together,

listening to Usher's
"Nice and Slow" on repeat,

which is appropriate

'cause that's how
I remember our time together --

nice and slow.

I for one loved that story.

I think you look great
in this hoodie.

Okay, cool, thanks.

♪♪

♪♪

Hey!

Oh, sorry.

I just want to do a little
reminiscing before bed.

[ Gasps ]

My high school boyfriend's
football jersey.

Remind me.

Did you play football,
Greg?

I did not.

Oh, that's right.

[ Gasps ]
Oh, look at these sweatpants.

This guy was much taller
than me,

so when I wore them,
we would just laugh and laugh

and cuddle and laugh.

Sounds fun.

Aww, my old jewelry box!

It is gonna take quite a while
to sort through all of this

and piece together
who gave me what.

Be a doll and grab
a pen and paper.

No.

Why not?

Is there
something wrong, Greg?

Is there?

I cannot believe
you kept all of this stuff!

And there's
so much of it!

How could you even care
about my one thing

when you've got
all these things?!

Because holding onto one thing
means a lot more

than a box
of random crap.

You type in Hope's name
every day.

I don't even remember
some of these guys' names.

That's supposed
to make me feel better?!

I'm definitely
not changing the code now.

Well, I'm definitely not
sleeping in the same bed with you tonight!

Smart! Seems like you've got
enough men here

to keep you warm anyway!
I'm gonna go sleep on the couch!

No, you won't!
The couch hurts your back!

I'll sleep on the couch!

Thank you!

My, my,
if these shells could talk.

Did you put a lock
on the refrigerator?

Sure did.
Why?

[ Knock on door ]
No reason,

but if you need anything,
you know the code.

[ Inhales sharply ]

Hey, Mr. A.
Hey.

Whoa, sweet lid,
Mrs. A.

Thank you.

I spent a lot of time
at this fraternity house.

What were we doing?
Good question, Trip.

Not homework,
I can tell you that.

So what brings you here,
Trip?

Your daughter, Taylor.
We're dating.

Yes, I know, but she's running
lines with Pierce at school.

Hmm, that's weird.

Pierce told me they weren't
rehearsing today.

Ah, must be
an honest mistake.

Have a good one.
Trip, sit down.

We like you.

So much.

Which is why we need to have
this talk.

Do you know why
Pierce told you

that there
was no rehearsal today?

Trip,
did you hear Mrs. A?

Yeah, yeah, but when someone
asks me a super hard question,

if I just smile,
they usually tell me the answer.

Ah.

Here it is.

Pierce is trying
to steal Taylor from you.

[ Laughs ] No.

They're just friends.
Not if he can help it.

He calls Taylor at night,
makes her giggle.

He's always complimenting her,
and last week,

I saw him touch her arm
like this.

Greg, you could've used me
as the example. Oh.

I'm going down there.

Wait.

For luck.

Last guy who had them
certainly got lucky.

[ Car horn blares ]

Gina's parents are here.

They're taking me
to the ballet audition.

Why is there a lock
on the fridge?

And what are you wearing?

[ Scoffs ] Boarding school
can't come fast enough.

Hey, come here.

Good luck today.

I hope you get it.

Even though it's gonna be hard
just seeing you

during the summer, Thanksgiving,
and Christmas.

[ Chuckles ]
Just Christmas.

I want him
to follow his dreams,

but I am not ready
for him to leave.

I feel the same way.

I don't know
what to hope for.

"Hope"?

Really, Greg?

That's the word you choose?
Wha--

Oh, come on.

It was an accident!

It wasn't.

Thank you all
for your efforts.

Our female
scholarship recipient is...

Gina Tuscadero.
[ Gasping ]

Oh, my God, we did it!

We're going to Deervale.

And our male scholarship
winner is...

Andrew Vandevorde!

Ha, ha, yes!

They totally mispronounced
my name!

♪ Sweet understanding ♪

♪ Sweet understanding ♪

♪ Sweet understanding ♪

♪ Sweet understanding ♪

[ Together ]
♪ Sweet understanding ♪

♪ Seymour's my man ♪
♪ Seymour's your man ♪

[ Door slams open ]
Step away from my girl!

Trip?
Whoa, we're just rehearsing.

Yeah, calm down.
Nothing's going on.

He's trying to steal you
away from me. What?

Think about it --
the compliments,

the extra rehearsal time,

he even caresses your arm
like your dad did to me.

I'm just helping her become
the understudy for Audrey.

You're way too good
to be in the chorus.

See?
That's a compliment!

He's all over you
like meat sauce on bisketti.

You have to quit the play,
Taylor.

Look, I don't want to get
in the middle of this.

You do whatever you want,

but quitting the play
would be a big mistake, Tay.

Tay?!
You don't call her Tay!

I call her Tay!

Even though
I never call her Tay.

Whoa, he's just acting
like a friend,

and you're acting
like a controlling jerk.

Taylor...

I'm not gonna sit
in the audience

and watch some guy
steal my girlfriend.

You're quitting.
I'm doing the play.

So you don't have to worry
about some guy

trying to steal
your girlfriend...

because you don't have one
anymore.

♪♪

Are you okay?

♪♪

Oh, you are a natural
stewardess.

[ Both chuckle ]

Oh, I bet you'd be great

at slamming into people's elbows
with a drink cart.

[ Bells chime ]

Oh, look, Grandma.

It's your eye cream
delivery.

I'll go get it.

Ooh, not yet.

Let's leave it as bait.

Then we can see
who's been taking it.

And besides,
I'm not in any big rush.

Spending time with you
has been nice.

My eye cream.
Where --

Where did that come from?

I'm the thief.
Ah.

I stole them
because I was mad at you

for never wanting
to play with me.

I'm really,
really sorry, but...

I --
[ Chuckles ]

I'm also really, really happy
we did this stakeout.

[ Quietly ] Come here.

I love you, Grandma.

Oh, and I love you, too,
honey.

Oh, my God.

I really do.

Oliver: [ Sighs ] I'm sorry
I messed this up for us.

I'll audition again
next year.

Oliver...

I'm taking
the scholarship.

What?!
What about our pact?

We both go
or neither of us go, right?

I can't pass up
this opportunity.

If the roles were reversed,
you would do the same thing.

No, I wouldn't.

Oh, that's sweet.
[ Chuckles ]

But I'm still gonna go.

I'm sorry.

I hope one day
you'll understand.

♪♪

The doorbell cam. Hmm.

Can make you laugh,

can make you cry.

♪♪

Hey.
We heard you were out here.

The doorbell girls filled us in
on what happened.

We're sorry you didn't get
the scholarship,

and that Gina --
Tore my heart out

and stomped it
on the ground?

Oh, honey.

This sucks.
I know it does,

but this is the first
of what's likely to be several relationships

that come and go over
the years on your path to finding the one.

It may not
seem like it now, but...

you'll find
your person someday.

You will,
and Gina will just be a girl

who gave you some random gift
you forgot you even had.

Gina never gave me --

What are you guys doing?

Is this for you or for me?
For you, for you.

Yeah, we'll give you
some space.

No. You stay. I'll go.

That's what she said.

I'm sorry.
I was being stupid.

This is what's important --
our kids, our family,

the life we built.
Everything else is just --

Nonsense.

'Cause when
you get married,

you start
a new life together.

I love you.
I love you, too.

But I still need
that code changed.

And you'll get rid of the stuff
from your old boyfriends? Yep.

Just help me get the rest of
the boxes out of the basement.

There's more?!

Oliver...

I know you are sad about Gina
and the boarding school,

but look on the bright side.

You get to stay here
with us!

You suck
at silver linings, Mom.

Thank you.

And honey, I'm so sorry
that you and Trip broke up,

but I am proud of you
for being a strong woman

and putting
your own interests first.

You should feel good
about yourself.

Yeah, I guess.

I still want to throw up every
time I think about it.

Mm...

But at least
I'm doing better than Dad.

Oh, Trip.

I just feel so blindsided.

♪♪

[ Door opens ]

The security company
called me today.

What happened
with the alarm? I can't remember

We have to go back
to 4673,

but it needs to mean
something else.

Well, it also spells
H-O-R-E --

"Hore."

Perfect!

"Hore" it is.

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