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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:27,877 --> 00:00:30,277 Welcome to Hazzard County. 2 00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:34,110 A little corner of the world where everyone knows everyone else... 3 00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:37,651 ... and people are never too busy to stop and say howdy. 4 00:00:37,821 --> 00:00:42,019 Shoot, some folks even say this is where the apple pie was invented. 5 00:00:43,159 --> 00:00:48,290 Yep, basically everything down here moves a little bit slower... 6 00:00:48,631 --> 00:00:54,126 ... unless, of course, your last name is Duke. 7 00:01:13,523 --> 00:01:15,582 Man, the General's in good shape. 8 00:01:15,759 --> 00:01:20,787 Bo, it's happy hour at The Boar's Nest, and we still got two deliveries to make. 9 00:01:20,964 --> 00:01:25,298 It's all one big happy hour, Luke. Besides, we're taking a shortcut. 10 00:01:44,354 --> 00:01:46,151 Hi, Luke. 11 00:01:47,590 --> 00:01:50,616 - I got this one. - You sure that's a good idea, cuz? 12 00:01:50,794 --> 00:01:52,694 It's a great idea. Come on. 13 00:01:56,499 --> 00:01:58,091 Hey, Laurie. 14 00:01:58,268 --> 00:02:01,135 - You here to make your delivery? - Well, I was hoping to. 15 00:02:01,304 --> 00:02:03,602 Luke, remember last time. 16 00:02:03,773 --> 00:02:05,468 Don't worry about it, cuz. 17 00:02:05,642 --> 00:02:08,110 It's okay, Bo. Pa ain't here. 18 00:02:08,278 --> 00:02:11,338 See, Bo? Pa ain't here. 19 00:02:13,216 --> 00:02:15,514 - Hi. - Hi. 20 00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:19,312 Play hard to get, little buddy. 21 00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:32,997 Listen and learn, General. 22 00:02:33,169 --> 00:02:37,128 And now, side two of the Al Unser, Jr. Story: 23 00:02:37,307 --> 00:02:42,335 No Questions, Only Unsers, as read by Laurence Fishburne. 24 00:02:42,512 --> 00:02:44,571 "I'm too old for this shit. " 25 00:02:44,747 --> 00:02:47,580 That's what I was thinking as I turned into the final lap... 26 00:02:47,750 --> 00:02:50,310 ... running fourth at Talladega. 27 00:02:50,486 --> 00:02:53,944 But then it hit me. Life is like a racetrack. 28 00:02:54,123 --> 00:02:56,751 You gotta keep going round and round. 29 00:02:56,926 --> 00:03:00,828 - That is so true. - Sure, sometimes you crash and burn. 30 00:03:00,997 --> 00:03:04,455 But if you don't make the turn, you ain't never gonna learn. 31 00:03:04,834 --> 00:03:09,669 So I gripped the wheel tighter, checked my gauges, and made my move. 32 00:03:09,839 --> 00:03:13,297 Make my move. Give you my move. Make it, mother... 33 00:03:13,476 --> 00:03:15,569 - Jesus Christ! - Howdy, Bo. 34 00:03:15,745 --> 00:03:19,647 Hey, Mr. Pullman. I nearly shit myself. 35 00:03:20,016 --> 00:03:21,984 - How you doing, sir? - Oh, I'm fine. 36 00:03:22,151 --> 00:03:24,984 You ready for that big Hazzard Rally this weekend? 37 00:03:25,154 --> 00:03:28,214 Yeah, I got him all tuned up. Right, General? 38 00:03:28,491 --> 00:03:30,516 How many times you won that, anyway? 39 00:03:30,693 --> 00:03:33,355 - Four in a row, sir. - Four in a row. 40 00:03:33,529 --> 00:03:37,829 That's good. Billy Prickett won it four in a row, and look what he's doing today. 41 00:03:38,568 --> 00:03:40,934 - Hey, you been hunting? - Yes, sir. 42 00:03:41,104 --> 00:03:43,629 Yeah, I been using those new whammy shells. 43 00:03:43,806 --> 00:03:47,139 They scatter less for when you really wanna blow a hole in something. 44 00:03:50,013 --> 00:03:52,709 - Cool. Guns. - Yeah. 45 00:03:54,217 --> 00:03:56,777 Are you delivering all by yourself today? 46 00:03:56,953 --> 00:03:58,944 Oh, no. I never travel alone, sir. 47 00:03:59,122 --> 00:04:01,488 I like to think I travel with the man upstairs. 48 00:04:02,725 --> 00:04:04,192 You know, Jesus. 49 00:04:05,862 --> 00:04:08,422 You know, I like that attitude. 50 00:04:08,598 --> 00:04:10,896 I'm gonna look around and find a boy like you... 51 00:04:11,067 --> 00:04:13,592 ...to date my daughter, Laurie, pretty soon. 52 00:04:13,770 --> 00:04:16,739 Because she's getting curious about boys, you know. 53 00:04:16,906 --> 00:04:18,237 Yeah. 54 00:04:18,408 --> 00:04:21,104 Oh, you're talking about sex, right? 55 00:04:21,611 --> 00:04:25,047 I just wanna keep that sorry cousin of yours away from her. 56 00:04:25,214 --> 00:04:28,877 The way he looks at her galls me. You know what I mean? 57 00:04:30,353 --> 00:04:32,821 You get back here right now, you son of a bitch. 58 00:04:32,989 --> 00:04:34,684 Get back here. 59 00:04:34,857 --> 00:04:37,223 Luke! Luke! 60 00:04:37,393 --> 00:04:40,556 - Why you running, you chickenshit? - Goddamn Dukes. 61 00:04:40,730 --> 00:04:42,357 You get the hell off my sister. 62 00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:44,329 - Jimmy! - Oh, shit. 63 00:04:44,500 --> 00:04:47,435 Damn you, Luke! You get back in the house! 64 00:04:47,603 --> 00:04:50,003 - Go, Bo, go! - Luke, wait! 65 00:04:50,173 --> 00:04:52,801 - Put on a shirt! - Come on, come on, come on. 66 00:04:52,976 --> 00:04:54,910 I forgot about the brother. Go! 67 00:04:59,415 --> 00:05:00,905 So happy hour? 68 00:05:01,084 --> 00:05:03,917 - You're gonna get us shot someday. - Not today. 69 00:05:04,087 --> 00:05:06,578 Not with you driving the getaway car. 70 00:05:08,992 --> 00:05:11,426 - So how was it? - It's never bad. 71 00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:16,392 Son of a bitch. 72 00:05:17,867 --> 00:05:19,858 Here, load up with these whammy shells. 73 00:05:20,036 --> 00:05:22,334 They'll blow a hole through an elephant's ass. 74 00:05:22,805 --> 00:05:24,636 Look out. 75 00:05:29,112 --> 00:05:31,410 Oh, goddamn it! You're gonna replace that. 76 00:05:33,383 --> 00:05:35,476 - What's he using? - You don't wanna know. 77 00:05:35,651 --> 00:05:38,245 Dadgum it, you just assassinated a tree. 78 00:05:38,421 --> 00:05:39,979 Got a big kick to it. 79 00:05:40,156 --> 00:05:43,057 Don't you worry. They can't touch the General. Come on, boy. 80 00:05:50,466 --> 00:05:52,297 You missed, Jimmy! 81 00:05:52,468 --> 00:05:56,700 Can't you shoot straight? Don't point that thing at me, you chucklehead. 82 00:05:56,873 --> 00:05:59,467 Don't call me a chucklehead. I ain't a chucklehead. 83 00:06:00,176 --> 00:06:02,701 Hey! Get that gun out of the wheel! 84 00:06:03,346 --> 00:06:05,746 What are you doing? Hey. Hey. What the hell? 85 00:06:06,149 --> 00:06:07,810 - Goddamn it. - I'm sorry, Daddy. 86 00:06:07,984 --> 00:06:09,884 Let's go after them. 87 00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:15,019 - Bo, did you see that sign? - I can read! 88 00:06:15,191 --> 00:06:17,284 This is how you planned on losing them? 89 00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:18,950 You ain't scared, are you? 90 00:06:19,128 --> 00:06:22,154 Scared? Hell, no. I just don't wanna hear it from Uncle Jesse... 91 00:06:22,331 --> 00:06:24,595 ...when you break his bottles of shine. 92 00:06:24,767 --> 00:06:27,395 I bet you the old phone book I don't break a bottle. 93 00:06:27,570 --> 00:06:29,367 Phone book it is. 94 00:06:29,539 --> 00:06:33,202 Daddy, you get me close, and I'll put a bullet in this son of a bitch. 95 00:06:35,945 --> 00:06:38,243 Goddamn it, Jimmy! 96 00:06:38,414 --> 00:06:41,941 Who says I can't shoot? Daddy? Daddy! 97 00:07:02,371 --> 00:07:05,272 Bo and Luke Duke. 98 00:07:05,441 --> 00:07:07,841 Cousins closer than brothers. 99 00:07:08,010 --> 00:07:10,240 Both big-hearted, strong-willed... 100 00:07:10,413 --> 00:07:13,814 ... and restless as a couple of cats thrown into a swimming hole. 101 00:07:40,877 --> 00:07:42,344 Nice driving, cuz. 102 00:07:46,415 --> 00:07:47,882 What? 103 00:07:51,454 --> 00:07:54,912 - I won the bet, you son of a bitch. - Oh, come on. 104 00:07:55,091 --> 00:07:58,060 I didn't break any bottles, so I won the bet. 105 00:08:02,265 --> 00:08:05,393 - I was just joking about the bet. - Oh, you were joking? 106 00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:07,627 - Yeah. - Still getting the phone book, though. 107 00:08:07,803 --> 00:08:11,671 - Come on, double or nothing. - Nope. Time to pay your debt, buddy. 108 00:08:12,808 --> 00:08:14,901 Which side you want, right side or left? 109 00:08:16,612 --> 00:08:18,671 Right. 110 00:08:18,848 --> 00:08:20,577 Did I hear one of your teeth break? 111 00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:23,776 I don't remember the Hazzard phone book being that thick. 112 00:08:24,053 --> 00:08:26,248 This is Atlanta. 113 00:08:36,299 --> 00:08:40,429 Bet was over. I can't believe that happened. I mean, the bet was over. 114 00:08:40,603 --> 00:08:42,468 - What are you doing? - Where you want it? 115 00:08:43,906 --> 00:08:46,340 - Oh, man. - Where you want it? 116 00:08:46,509 --> 00:08:47,942 Left. 117 00:08:50,012 --> 00:08:51,707 That was a good one. 118 00:08:55,351 --> 00:08:58,843 Right in the ball sack. God. 119 00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:02,516 In case of dehydration. 120 00:09:08,397 --> 00:09:10,524 That'll put lead in your pencil. 121 00:09:14,904 --> 00:09:18,237 - Man, I'm already tired of walking. - You could use a little exercise. 122 00:09:18,407 --> 00:09:20,568 Them jeans of yours look tighter than Daisy's. 123 00:09:20,743 --> 00:09:24,144 Oh, yeah? I bet you a cold beer I could beat you to The Boar's Nest. 124 00:09:24,313 --> 00:09:26,304 That's five miles. 125 00:09:35,124 --> 00:09:38,093 I'm coming! I'm coming! 126 00:09:43,366 --> 00:09:45,027 Face! 127 00:09:50,973 --> 00:09:52,941 He came back. 128 00:09:55,144 --> 00:09:57,169 What's Billy Prickett doing here? 129 00:09:57,346 --> 00:09:59,439 Well, it looks like he's here for the race. 130 00:10:01,851 --> 00:10:05,514 Man, those tires alone are worth more than the General Lee. 131 00:10:06,622 --> 00:10:10,217 My, oh, my. Look at that. Billy Prickett's car, huh? 132 00:10:10,660 --> 00:10:12,821 What's new in law enforcement, Enos? 133 00:10:12,995 --> 00:10:16,692 - They make you lieutenant yet? - Hell, you know that'll never happen. 134 00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:19,699 Maybe one of these days you'll wise up and come work for us. 135 00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:21,666 We could use a man like you. 136 00:10:21,837 --> 00:10:25,500 I don't know. I don't think it's a good time to be in the moonshine business. 137 00:10:25,675 --> 00:10:28,701 Moonshine business? We ain't in the moonshining business. 138 00:10:30,379 --> 00:10:35,214 But if someone were in the moonshining business, why would it be a bad time? 139 00:10:35,384 --> 00:10:38,581 Now, Luke, you know I can't say anything. Boss Hogg'll tan my hide. 140 00:10:38,754 --> 00:10:40,244 He spanks you? 141 00:10:40,589 --> 00:10:42,921 Hey, Dil, what do you want? We just ordered. 142 00:10:43,092 --> 00:10:46,027 By the looks of this place, I'll take two bottles of Pepto... 143 00:10:46,195 --> 00:10:48,595 ...and a shot of penicillin, right? 144 00:10:58,541 --> 00:11:00,475 Jesus, mother of Mary. 145 00:11:03,546 --> 00:11:06,037 Look away, man. Trust me, look away. 146 00:11:06,215 --> 00:11:08,683 Don't worry about it. I won't hurt her. 147 00:11:08,851 --> 00:11:12,480 There ain't nobody in this bar concerned about you hurting her. 148 00:11:12,655 --> 00:11:14,384 All right, all right. 149 00:11:19,095 --> 00:11:21,256 Y'all ready to order? 150 00:11:24,166 --> 00:11:26,327 You better be reading my nametag, friend. 151 00:11:26,502 --> 00:11:30,905 I am, I am. I noticed your initials were double D. 152 00:11:32,875 --> 00:11:35,708 - Oh, sweet Jesus. - I'll give you one more chance. 153 00:11:35,878 --> 00:11:38,972 You wanna order, or you wanna sit around and make stupid jokes? 154 00:11:39,148 --> 00:11:41,446 Ain't gotta get fussy. We're having a good time. 155 00:11:41,617 --> 00:11:44,484 I'll tell you what, I'll order. We don't want no problems. 156 00:11:44,653 --> 00:11:46,883 Let's see... 157 00:11:47,857 --> 00:11:49,722 Do those legs come over easy? 158 00:11:49,992 --> 00:11:51,926 Oh, my God. 159 00:11:54,597 --> 00:11:58,089 - How about the special, sir? - Dil Driscoll! 160 00:11:58,334 --> 00:12:02,031 You stop bothering that nice girl and pick on somebody your own size. 161 00:12:02,204 --> 00:12:04,365 - Billy Prickett. - Hey, it's Billy Prickett! 162 00:12:05,708 --> 00:12:07,403 - Welcome home, boy. - You old mule. 163 00:12:08,010 --> 00:12:10,308 Hey. 164 00:12:12,248 --> 00:12:14,307 Why don't you cool off, Dil? 165 00:12:16,085 --> 00:12:19,077 - Come on, boy. Let's get out of here. - My, my, my. 166 00:12:19,255 --> 00:12:23,817 Holy hell, Luke. There he is, right there. That's Billy Prickett. 167 00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:25,517 Should I buy him a drink? 168 00:12:25,694 --> 00:12:28,322 Maybe you should buy him flowers and chocolates. 169 00:12:28,497 --> 00:12:32,627 Give me a Miller. Make it a L�wenbr�u. 170 00:12:33,803 --> 00:12:35,794 How you doing? 171 00:12:35,971 --> 00:12:39,134 Hey, Billy Prickett. Welcome back to Hazzard. 172 00:12:41,343 --> 00:12:44,676 See, boys, I told you all the waitresses in this place was dog ugly. 173 00:12:46,048 --> 00:12:48,812 - Man. - I'm only fooling with you. 174 00:12:48,984 --> 00:12:50,542 Fellas, this is Bo Duke. 175 00:12:50,719 --> 00:12:54,780 Bo is looking to break my Hazzard Rally record. What is it now, four in a row? 176 00:12:55,090 --> 00:12:56,853 Yeah, well... 177 00:12:57,026 --> 00:13:03,124 All streaks must come to an end, Bo. I'm calling this one "the drive for five. " 178 00:13:03,299 --> 00:13:07,030 - Well, I'm looking forward to the race. - Hey, Dil! 179 00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:09,467 This is the boy who's trying to break my record. 180 00:13:09,638 --> 00:13:12,869 Oh, really? I'm Dil Driscoll, crew chief. 181 00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:14,475 - Bo-Bo, have a seat. - Really? 182 00:13:16,545 --> 00:13:19,571 So, Billy, what's it like being in the circuit? 183 00:13:19,748 --> 00:13:21,773 - Well... - Hey, Billy, join me for a drink? 184 00:13:21,951 --> 00:13:23,543 Oh, well, you sweet little thing. 185 00:13:23,719 --> 00:13:26,882 Fellas, I'm awfully thirsty all of a sudden. 186 00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:29,456 Bo-Bo, may the best man win. 187 00:13:30,860 --> 00:13:32,350 John, another round! 188 00:13:32,528 --> 00:13:36,430 So, Bo, what's the story on that little pistol over there? 189 00:13:36,699 --> 00:13:39,827 Because she gave me a ride earlier. 190 00:13:40,269 --> 00:13:42,863 Well, actually, she's my cousin. 191 00:13:43,038 --> 00:13:45,666 Oh, really? You hitting that? 192 00:13:46,475 --> 00:13:50,070 - She's my cousin. - Hopefully you're kissing cousins, right? 193 00:13:52,047 --> 00:13:54,982 - Come again? - Son, all I'm really trying to ask you... 194 00:13:55,150 --> 00:13:58,313 ...is if you shuck her corn. 195 00:14:02,124 --> 00:14:08,188 Now, there are certain things you just don't say to a Duke about another Duke. 196 00:14:12,601 --> 00:14:14,296 I'll shuck your corn! 197 00:14:16,805 --> 00:14:18,272 Excuse me a second. 198 00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:20,135 Pick him up! Pick him up! 199 00:14:22,011 --> 00:14:24,309 Hey, hey. Can I get in on this? 200 00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:25,742 - Yeah. - Sure. 201 00:14:33,455 --> 00:14:35,013 Oh, buddy. 202 00:14:37,459 --> 00:14:38,949 Here we go. 203 00:14:41,096 --> 00:14:43,496 Fifty bucks on the Dukes! 204 00:14:57,413 --> 00:14:59,881 - That makes two, Luke! - Attaboy! 205 00:15:08,057 --> 00:15:10,252 Hey, Billy Prickett! 206 00:15:10,492 --> 00:15:12,357 Careful, Bo-Bo. 207 00:15:16,131 --> 00:15:17,689 Don't hit him. That's A.J. Foyt! 208 00:15:17,866 --> 00:15:19,731 - Really? - The fourth! 209 00:15:46,695 --> 00:15:49,357 - Hey, can I hit this guy? - Kill them all! 210 00:15:52,234 --> 00:15:54,429 - The ribs are greasy. - The beans are cold. 211 00:16:02,544 --> 00:16:05,672 Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane. 212 00:16:05,848 --> 00:16:09,511 Closest thing to law enforcement in Hazzard County. 213 00:16:09,685 --> 00:16:13,678 Rosco's been after the Duke boys since they started walking. 214 00:16:13,856 --> 00:16:16,484 Of course, some people say the boys' first steps... 215 00:16:16,659 --> 00:16:21,062 ... landed right on the sheriff's last nerve. 216 00:16:35,244 --> 00:16:38,407 Dukes. Just once you two ought to try leaving a place... 217 00:16:38,580 --> 00:16:41,378 ...in better shape than it was when you walked in. 218 00:16:41,550 --> 00:16:46,385 Oh, I think your boss can afford to replace a few broken beer mugs. 219 00:16:46,555 --> 00:16:49,524 I heard there was a little incident earlier... 220 00:16:49,692 --> 00:16:54,891 ...concerning a certain crappy orange hot rod out at the Miller farm. 221 00:16:55,297 --> 00:16:57,925 Y'all really upset some of them construction boys. 222 00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:02,068 When I got there, they were not being gentle with your beloved piece of crap. 223 00:17:03,372 --> 00:17:05,533 What'd you do, Rosco? 224 00:17:05,708 --> 00:17:09,644 I can't say she's gonna be in real good racing shape for the rally this weekend. 225 00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:17,278 You watch yourself, hillbilly boy. 226 00:17:17,786 --> 00:17:21,688 Come on, boys. My shift's over. I'll take you over to Cooter's. 227 00:17:21,857 --> 00:17:23,654 Come on. 228 00:17:47,182 --> 00:17:49,616 Jefferson Davis Hogg... 229 00:17:49,785 --> 00:17:53,050 ... the meanest man in Hazzard County. 230 00:17:53,222 --> 00:17:57,852 He's canny as a fox, tough as a badger... 231 00:17:58,260 --> 00:18:02,492 ... and crooked as a hillbilly's smile. 232 00:18:04,199 --> 00:18:06,224 Well, Rosco. 233 00:18:08,804 --> 00:18:12,740 I see you have redecorated. 234 00:18:12,908 --> 00:18:15,968 Interesting style. What do you call it? 235 00:18:16,145 --> 00:18:19,672 - Well, sir, the Dukes... - The Dukes. 236 00:18:19,848 --> 00:18:21,975 I had a feeling. 237 00:18:27,723 --> 00:18:31,454 I've got some important things happening here this weekend. 238 00:18:31,627 --> 00:18:35,256 - Yes, sir. - Are you gonna take care of the Dukes... 239 00:18:35,430 --> 00:18:38,866 ...or am I gonna have to make other plans? 240 00:18:39,034 --> 00:18:41,832 I'm on top of it, Boss. 241 00:18:42,004 --> 00:18:44,529 That's what I'm afraid of. 242 00:18:47,643 --> 00:18:49,167 - You ready? - Is it bad? 243 00:18:49,344 --> 00:18:51,107 Not good. 244 00:18:54,783 --> 00:18:57,946 Hell, this is worse than the time you sunk it in the Tipton Swamp. 245 00:19:01,256 --> 00:19:03,451 Mostly cosmetic damage, right, Cooter? 246 00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:06,627 - Mostly. - Yeah. 247 00:19:06,795 --> 00:19:11,391 - He's gonna be ready for the race, right? - Race? Come on, Bo. 248 00:19:11,567 --> 00:19:14,058 I mean, the General doesn't race. 249 00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:16,898 The General erases the competition. 250 00:19:36,058 --> 00:19:37,389 Who does this? 251 00:19:40,028 --> 00:19:44,431 It would make a nice hat or a slipper. 252 00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:48,161 You know what? Just leave the General here with me. I'll see if I can fix... 253 00:19:48,337 --> 00:19:51,829 I'll have it up running in no time. Meanwhile, you boys take my truck. 254 00:19:53,275 --> 00:19:54,970 What if you need to tow somebody? 255 00:19:55,143 --> 00:19:58,772 If I can't "toe" them, I'll just finger them. You know what I mean? 256 00:20:03,652 --> 00:20:09,591 Close one. Even shell-shocked, he's a better driver than you are. 257 00:20:09,758 --> 00:20:11,749 - Thanks, Cooter. - Yeah. 258 00:20:16,331 --> 00:20:17,889 Chin up. 259 00:20:23,505 --> 00:20:25,598 Daisy? 260 00:20:25,774 --> 00:20:27,867 Jesse L. Duke. 261 00:20:28,043 --> 00:20:30,841 - Uncle Jesse to you. - Daisy. 262 00:20:31,013 --> 00:20:33,982 Now, Jesse's been two places in his life: 263 00:20:34,149 --> 00:20:36,447 Hazzard County and Korea. 264 00:20:36,618 --> 00:20:39,018 - Daisy? - I'm in here. 265 00:20:39,187 --> 00:20:41,348 - As far as he's concerned... - Where are you? 266 00:20:41,523 --> 00:20:42,854 I'm in the shower. 267 00:20:43,025 --> 00:20:44,515 - that's one place too many. 268 00:20:44,693 --> 00:20:46,456 Ready or not, here I come. 269 00:20:54,603 --> 00:20:57,731 - How's it looking, good looking? - Well, I fixed the vapor coils... 270 00:20:57,906 --> 00:21:01,364 ...but the boiler's still slow. You been running this around the clock? 271 00:21:01,543 --> 00:21:05,172 Them boys break more bottles than they deliver. Eight cases this month. 272 00:21:05,447 --> 00:21:08,348 Wonder where in the hell they are, anyway. 273 00:21:10,319 --> 00:21:12,344 It'll make you feel lots better. 274 00:21:14,923 --> 00:21:18,188 - Light the son of a bitch. - All right. 275 00:21:23,265 --> 00:21:25,233 I feel good. 276 00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:28,267 All right, y'all, knock off the grab-assing over there. 277 00:21:28,537 --> 00:21:30,505 What's going on, Uncle Jesse? 278 00:21:30,672 --> 00:21:33,869 Guy come out of an antique shop carrying a big grandfather's clock. 279 00:21:34,042 --> 00:21:36,033 Bumped into this drunk, broke the clock. 280 00:21:36,211 --> 00:21:38,338 Guy said, "Why don't you watch where you're going. " 281 00:21:38,513 --> 00:21:41,880 The drunk says, "Why don't you carry a wristwatch like everybody else. " 282 00:21:43,285 --> 00:21:45,753 Know what happens when you give a politician Viagra? 283 00:21:46,054 --> 00:21:47,646 - No. - He gets taller. 284 00:21:48,857 --> 00:21:50,484 Here's another one for you. 285 00:21:50,659 --> 00:21:53,992 How many Dukes does it take to screw up a moonshine delivery? 286 00:21:54,162 --> 00:21:56,653 Oh, yes, sorry about that, Uncle Jesse. We... 287 00:22:03,438 --> 00:22:04,735 Is that Rosco? 288 00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:07,804 Wonder what that fat sack of shit wants. 289 00:22:08,543 --> 00:22:09,976 Come on. 290 00:22:11,513 --> 00:22:15,813 We can skip the "Hi, how are you's. " I'm here on official police business. 291 00:22:15,984 --> 00:22:18,145 Right here, sheriff. 292 00:22:21,056 --> 00:22:22,887 Oh, that's horseshit. You planted that. 293 00:22:27,896 --> 00:22:31,832 "By the power vested in me by the County of Hazzard, Georgia... 294 00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:34,093 ...I hereby seize this property... 295 00:22:34,269 --> 00:22:37,864 ...for the crime of producing and distributing moonshine. " 296 00:22:39,274 --> 00:22:42,072 Now, Jesse, we can do this the easy way... 297 00:22:42,244 --> 00:22:44,405 ...or, of course... 298 00:22:46,782 --> 00:22:48,249 ...there's that other way. 299 00:22:48,417 --> 00:22:51,352 - Let's try the that other way first. - Now, hold on. Wait. 300 00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:54,011 Only way I'm leaving this farm is in a wooden box. 301 00:22:54,189 --> 00:22:56,089 Well... 302 00:22:57,092 --> 00:22:59,424 Hi, Dukes. 303 00:23:01,296 --> 00:23:02,786 Hi. 304 00:23:03,965 --> 00:23:05,296 Well, now. 305 00:23:06,301 --> 00:23:07,825 Lookie there. 306 00:23:08,503 --> 00:23:13,133 Moonshining. What a shame, what a shame. 307 00:23:13,308 --> 00:23:16,471 - That ain't ours, Boss. - Really? 308 00:23:16,645 --> 00:23:18,977 You're out of here. 309 00:23:19,147 --> 00:23:21,411 This land ain't yours anymore. 310 00:23:21,583 --> 00:23:23,608 You're gonna have to live somewhere else... 311 00:23:23,785 --> 00:23:26,447 ...and you're never gonna moonshine... - Why, you prick! 312 00:23:26,621 --> 00:23:31,752 Watch out. I got my dog here, and I ain't fed him, and he's real hungry. 313 00:23:32,427 --> 00:23:35,328 Easy, Jesse. Not now. 314 00:23:38,767 --> 00:23:41,861 You boys done started a fight you can't win. 315 00:23:48,710 --> 00:23:52,510 Well, you have my sympathy. Y'all take care, now. 316 00:23:57,919 --> 00:24:00,717 - Should've busted a cap in his ass. - Hell, yeah. 317 00:24:00,889 --> 00:24:03,016 Hey, easy now, boys. 318 00:24:03,191 --> 00:24:06,217 Thanks for taking us in, Pauline. We really appreciate it. 319 00:24:06,394 --> 00:24:08,191 Oh, honey, it is my pleasure. 320 00:24:08,363 --> 00:24:12,356 I left three toes in Korea for this country, and this is the thanks I get. 321 00:24:12,534 --> 00:24:15,059 I don't understand how they could just take your farm. 322 00:24:15,237 --> 00:24:17,137 They planted a still in our barn. 323 00:24:17,305 --> 00:24:22,038 They planted a still? Now, why would they need to plant a still? 324 00:24:22,210 --> 00:24:25,236 Because they're too damn dumb to find our real one. 325 00:24:25,514 --> 00:24:29,177 I was waiting on old Bill Miller up at the truck stop last night. 326 00:24:29,351 --> 00:24:33,651 He said Boss' men seized his land for some trumped-up charge too. 327 00:24:34,055 --> 00:24:38,014 Maybe it's got to do with all that construction equipment up at the Millers'. 328 00:24:38,193 --> 00:24:40,627 You wanna go up there and take a second look? 329 00:24:40,795 --> 00:24:42,729 Oh, I don't know, boys. 330 00:24:42,898 --> 00:24:44,422 Oh, now, Pauline. 331 00:24:46,635 --> 00:24:49,627 Don't worry, Uncle Jesse. We're gonna take care of it. 332 00:24:50,238 --> 00:24:52,399 You know what's gonna happen, don't you? 333 00:24:52,574 --> 00:24:55,600 Those two are gonna get themselves in trouble, end up in jail... 334 00:24:55,777 --> 00:24:58,302 ...and I'm gonna have to shake my ass to get them out. 335 00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:00,607 That's why we love you, honey. 336 00:25:04,786 --> 00:25:08,347 - Oh, goddamn it. - Well, well, well. 337 00:25:09,658 --> 00:25:11,819 What the hell do you think you're doing? 338 00:25:11,993 --> 00:25:14,621 What's it look like? I'm building a doomsday machine... 339 00:25:14,796 --> 00:25:17,162 ...gonna aim it right up your heinie hole. 340 00:25:17,432 --> 00:25:19,662 You stupid enough to think you can fix this? 341 00:25:19,834 --> 00:25:22,234 - I'm fixing to fix it. - Oh, you fixing to fix it. 342 00:25:22,404 --> 00:25:25,373 You couldn't fix an election if your brother was the governor. 343 00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:27,631 What do you want, Rosco? 344 00:25:27,809 --> 00:25:32,940 This here vehicle, it was used in the illegal transportation of moonshine. 345 00:25:33,114 --> 00:25:34,706 Boss wants it impounded. 346 00:25:34,883 --> 00:25:37,716 It ain't running right now, and my tow truck ain't here... 347 00:25:37,886 --> 00:25:39,786 ...so unless you stick it up your ass... 348 00:25:39,955 --> 00:25:42,480 Hey, one way or another, grease monkey... 349 00:25:42,657 --> 00:25:45,649 ...tomorrow I'm auctioning off this hunk of junk. 350 00:25:45,827 --> 00:25:48,261 So y'all have a good night, now, okay? 351 00:25:51,499 --> 00:25:55,629 I got two words for you: Soap and water. 352 00:25:57,005 --> 00:25:59,166 That's three words. 353 00:25:59,341 --> 00:26:01,138 Stupid. 354 00:26:08,350 --> 00:26:10,045 Hey, man, this is Cooter. 355 00:26:10,218 --> 00:26:13,745 Round up the fellas. I got a job for them. 356 00:26:17,592 --> 00:26:19,822 Lot of equipment there for an abandoned farm. 357 00:26:19,995 --> 00:26:23,431 Yeah, and that fence went up pretty quick too, huh? 358 00:26:23,832 --> 00:26:26,824 - Let's go ditch the truck. - All right. 359 00:26:52,060 --> 00:26:55,029 Well, ain't that cute, a man taking his pig for a walk. 360 00:27:00,035 --> 00:27:01,434 Come on. 361 00:27:10,078 --> 00:27:11,875 What now? 362 00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:20,254 Lookie here, Bo. 363 00:27:21,790 --> 00:27:25,590 He's got our farm marked, right next to the Millers' and the Robinsons'. 364 00:27:26,928 --> 00:27:30,125 What the hell does he want with all this land? 365 00:27:30,298 --> 00:27:32,425 I don't know. 366 00:27:33,635 --> 00:27:37,594 But I tell you what, if I was incriminating information... 367 00:27:37,772 --> 00:27:40,935 ...I'd be hiding in that big, huge son of a bitch. 368 00:27:41,309 --> 00:27:44,472 - How are we supposed to open that? - I don't know about you... 369 00:27:44,646 --> 00:27:47,410 ... but I'd sure hate to be that safe right now. 370 00:27:47,849 --> 00:27:49,578 Yeah! 371 00:28:03,164 --> 00:28:06,156 Holy shit. 372 00:28:16,945 --> 00:28:18,776 Hope they got e-mail. 373 00:28:31,659 --> 00:28:33,559 Oh, dear. 374 00:28:44,172 --> 00:28:46,140 What the hell? 375 00:28:50,078 --> 00:28:51,477 It's stuck on a pole. 376 00:28:51,846 --> 00:28:54,371 I'll check it. 377 00:29:07,228 --> 00:29:10,391 - Give it some gas! - Okay! 378 00:29:16,471 --> 00:29:20,669 - Hey, give it a little more gas! - Okay! 379 00:29:20,842 --> 00:29:24,073 - Hey, Bo, hold up! - Okay! 380 00:29:24,446 --> 00:29:26,209 Hey! No, Bo! No! 381 00:29:26,381 --> 00:29:28,212 Okay! 382 00:29:30,351 --> 00:29:33,013 - Yeah! - Bo! 383 00:29:34,756 --> 00:29:37,554 - No, Bo! - Sorry, cuz. 384 00:29:37,725 --> 00:29:39,556 You'd do the same thing to me. 385 00:29:39,727 --> 00:29:41,558 Bo! 386 00:29:47,535 --> 00:29:49,503 Bo, damn it! 387 00:29:50,772 --> 00:29:52,706 Hold on, little buddy! 388 00:29:56,878 --> 00:29:58,937 Oh, shit! 389 00:30:06,054 --> 00:30:07,521 Bo, you son of a... 390 00:30:27,442 --> 00:30:31,503 I said, no, Bo. No! 391 00:30:34,048 --> 00:30:37,347 I thought you said, "Go, Bo. Go. " 392 00:30:37,519 --> 00:30:39,453 You see how that sounds kind of..? 393 00:30:43,358 --> 00:30:46,521 Hey, you know what? Sheev lives near here. 394 00:30:46,694 --> 00:30:48,753 Maybe he can help us open this thing up, huh? 395 00:30:49,697 --> 00:30:51,460 Yeah. 396 00:30:52,967 --> 00:30:55,561 Okay. We'll go to Sheev's. 397 00:31:04,512 --> 00:31:07,811 Rosco, this here's Chip. 398 00:31:07,982 --> 00:31:10,246 You might wanna call Hogg... 399 00:31:10,418 --> 00:31:15,185 ...and tell him them two fellers, they made off with his safe. 400 00:31:15,356 --> 00:31:18,484 And I might need a ride too. 401 00:31:23,498 --> 00:31:26,467 Boss, what kind of mood you in? 402 00:31:26,668 --> 00:31:29,831 I'm in a crawfish-boiling mood. 403 00:31:30,872 --> 00:31:35,309 Well, it seems that the Duke boys... 404 00:31:35,476 --> 00:31:37,967 ...have stolen your safe. 405 00:31:42,984 --> 00:31:46,283 I am officially upgrading the Dukes... 406 00:31:46,454 --> 00:31:51,255 ...from "fly in my ointment" to "thorn in my side. " 407 00:31:51,426 --> 00:31:55,988 And if they happen to elevate themselves to "pain in my ass"... 408 00:31:56,164 --> 00:32:01,192 ...then I'm gonna boil you. Got it? 409 00:32:01,369 --> 00:32:03,701 - Yes, sir. - Now... 410 00:32:03,871 --> 00:32:07,864 ...I want you to find the Dukes and lock them up. 411 00:32:08,042 --> 00:32:12,479 Oh, and bring me my damn safe back. 412 00:32:12,647 --> 00:32:14,444 Yes, sir. 413 00:32:19,287 --> 00:32:20,584 Flash. 414 00:32:33,001 --> 00:32:34,593 Evening, Sheev. 415 00:32:37,171 --> 00:32:38,798 Sheev. 416 00:32:47,582 --> 00:32:51,382 I'm looking for them Duke boys. You seen them? 417 00:32:53,688 --> 00:32:56,816 They was last seen heading up this road here. 418 00:32:58,626 --> 00:33:02,153 You still got them CIA mind probes stuck in your head, boy? 419 00:33:02,330 --> 00:33:04,924 Far as I know. 420 00:33:05,099 --> 00:33:08,068 Good. Keep your little antennae up there... 421 00:33:08,236 --> 00:33:11,865 ...in case you see the Dukes, you let me know, you hear? 422 00:33:12,040 --> 00:33:13,632 Yeah. 423 00:33:16,611 --> 00:33:18,909 Stinks out here, you know that? 424 00:33:31,159 --> 00:33:33,184 - Is he gone, Sheev? - He's gone. 425 00:33:42,570 --> 00:33:44,697 - Prickett, Prickett. - It means a lot to me... 426 00:33:44,872 --> 00:33:46,999 ... to be invited here back to my hometown. 427 00:33:47,175 --> 00:33:49,336 I hope to remind the good people of Hazzard... 428 00:33:49,510 --> 00:33:53,276 - ... what it feels like to be proud again. - We love you, Billy! 429 00:33:53,648 --> 00:33:57,584 And I hope to remind the good people of Hazzard to come out to the rally... 430 00:33:57,752 --> 00:34:00,243 ... and cheer their favorite son, Billy Prickett! 431 00:34:02,657 --> 00:34:05,251 And I'm declaring today Billy Prickett Day. 432 00:34:07,095 --> 00:34:09,359 You're too kind. I just hope, come Saturday... 433 00:34:09,530 --> 00:34:12,090 ... I'm not too hazardous on the roads. 434 00:34:13,501 --> 00:34:15,401 "Hazardous on the roads. " 435 00:34:15,737 --> 00:34:18,297 - This one's for you! - This is Tammy Arinder... 436 00:34:18,473 --> 00:34:20,941 ... at the parade, for WCNU News. 437 00:34:21,109 --> 00:34:23,270 Seeing Billy Prickett race in person? 438 00:34:23,444 --> 00:34:26,174 That might be worth putting my pants on for. 439 00:34:26,347 --> 00:34:29,316 - Bo, you racing on Saturday? - I'm planning on it. 440 00:34:29,584 --> 00:34:31,711 What's the prize for second place? 441 00:34:33,488 --> 00:34:35,251 Gonna be good. Tough one, good luck. 442 00:34:35,423 --> 00:34:38,051 It's a little weird he's coming back here to race. 443 00:34:38,226 --> 00:34:42,322 Life's weird, Luke. Someday you're gonna have to accept that. 444 00:34:45,333 --> 00:34:48,666 Well, okay. Let's take a look at that lockbox. 445 00:34:50,238 --> 00:34:52,763 Oh, yeah. Liberty 400. 446 00:34:53,241 --> 00:34:56,267 High-density, 9200-psi composite material. 447 00:34:56,444 --> 00:34:58,776 Two-inch chrome bolts, vertical and horizontal. 448 00:34:58,946 --> 00:35:02,712 And a spring-loaded, independent relocking device, with a foreign body. 449 00:35:02,884 --> 00:35:06,251 - She's a beauty. - Can you crack it? 450 00:35:06,420 --> 00:35:08,888 I'm gonna do more than crack it. 451 00:35:09,891 --> 00:35:12,052 Goddamn it. 452 00:35:16,597 --> 00:35:20,727 Armadillo. They've been infiltrating my perimeter all summer. 453 00:35:20,902 --> 00:35:24,360 - The hell you do with them? - I make helmets. 454 00:35:24,539 --> 00:35:28,407 Armadillo helmets can block even the best brain-wave scanners. 455 00:35:28,576 --> 00:35:30,737 Make a pretty good soup bowl too. 456 00:35:30,912 --> 00:35:33,745 So okay. I'm gonna go to work on this thing. 457 00:35:33,915 --> 00:35:37,749 While I do, would you be a dear, Bo, and go grab me that armadillo? 458 00:35:40,855 --> 00:35:42,686 Thanks. 459 00:35:44,091 --> 00:35:46,184 Man, he looks pissed off. 460 00:35:48,095 --> 00:35:51,292 Come on, y'all! That was a good one. 461 00:35:51,732 --> 00:35:54,496 All right, maybe you could take it off now. 462 00:35:54,802 --> 00:35:57,532 Got a real nice deal on this stuff. Government issue. 463 00:35:57,705 --> 00:36:01,266 Only expired about six months ago, so should have a real nice pop. 464 00:36:02,243 --> 00:36:04,803 Yeah! Cooter's got the General running. 465 00:36:05,513 --> 00:36:08,778 - Might be able to race on Saturday. - Really? 466 00:36:08,950 --> 00:36:12,181 We gotta get it out of there tonight. Rosco wants to impound it. 467 00:36:12,353 --> 00:36:14,378 Watch your ass, fellas. 468 00:36:20,995 --> 00:36:23,429 This is the fastest-burning fuse you got, Sheev? 469 00:36:23,598 --> 00:36:25,361 It's a Chinese fuse. 470 00:36:38,312 --> 00:36:40,576 - Might be a wet fuse. - Well, should we check it? 471 00:36:40,748 --> 00:36:43,581 Depends if you like how your face is configured, pretty boy. 472 00:36:43,751 --> 00:36:45,446 I think you got the wires backwards. 473 00:36:45,620 --> 00:36:48,020 They're supposed to be. It's a Chinese fuse. 474 00:36:48,189 --> 00:36:50,384 No, backwards from how they're supposed to be. 475 00:36:50,558 --> 00:36:53,152 You ever been to China? Have you ever been to China? 476 00:36:53,327 --> 00:36:54,760 I ate Chinese food once. 477 00:36:54,929 --> 00:36:57,454 Well, you don't blow up mu shu pork, my friend. 478 00:36:57,632 --> 00:36:59,156 I dated a Korean girl in school. 479 00:36:59,333 --> 00:37:01,893 That is a different Oriental nation. Get an education. 480 00:37:02,069 --> 00:37:04,503 - You got the fuse wrong. - You know nothing about... 481 00:37:04,672 --> 00:37:07,300 ...Chino-Sino-American relations. - You're missing the point. 482 00:37:18,953 --> 00:37:20,853 Might've used too much. 483 00:37:24,659 --> 00:37:27,093 Man, that rattled my sphincter. 484 00:37:31,098 --> 00:37:34,033 What the hell is that? Drugs? 485 00:37:34,201 --> 00:37:35,896 Don't look like no drugs I ever saw. 486 00:37:36,237 --> 00:37:40,196 - What the hell are these numbers? - It's a core sample. 487 00:37:40,541 --> 00:37:44,944 Mining. They drill a hole, take a sample, send it to the lab, see what they got. 488 00:37:45,112 --> 00:37:47,171 - Core samples of what? - How should I know? 489 00:37:47,348 --> 00:37:51,182 Am I wearing a white coat here? I cut bait and blow shit up for a living. 490 00:37:51,352 --> 00:37:55,345 - Take it to a lab. - I don't know, maybe at the university? 491 00:37:55,523 --> 00:37:59,357 - Katie-Lynn Johnson's at the university. - Oh, yeah, that's right. 492 00:37:59,527 --> 00:38:02,325 Man, I always had a thing for that girl. 493 00:38:02,496 --> 00:38:05,863 Remember she used to come by the farm with those tight little outfits? 494 00:38:06,033 --> 00:38:09,696 - No, I can't say I remember that. - I thought I had her too. 495 00:38:09,870 --> 00:38:13,772 Then she pulled a goddamn Keyser Soze on me, and like that... 496 00:38:13,941 --> 00:38:15,533 ...she was gone. 497 00:38:15,710 --> 00:38:17,871 You don't remember that? 498 00:38:18,045 --> 00:38:19,410 Well, okay. 499 00:38:19,580 --> 00:38:23,277 Unless you need something else blown, I'll go inside and wash my mongoose. 500 00:38:26,487 --> 00:38:28,250 Okay. 501 00:38:29,223 --> 00:38:31,691 Come on, Luke. Let's get the General. 502 00:38:31,959 --> 00:38:34,223 Why don't we have Cooter stash that. 503 00:38:34,395 --> 00:38:36,454 We'll take his truck, head to the highway... 504 00:38:36,630 --> 00:38:41,090 How would you feel if the General and I went to Atlanta and left you behind? 505 00:39:08,529 --> 00:39:10,156 Ain't she a Georgia peach? 506 00:39:10,331 --> 00:39:12,492 What'd you do, make a deal with the devil? 507 00:39:12,867 --> 00:39:15,700 Luke. Luke. Is that a Hemi? 508 00:39:17,938 --> 00:39:20,907 Me and my buddies lose the Gettysburg reenactment every other Sunday. 509 00:39:21,075 --> 00:39:23,236 So we figured, why not let General Lee win one? 510 00:39:23,711 --> 00:39:26,305 I don't know how we're gonna pay you back, Cooter. 511 00:39:26,480 --> 00:39:30,109 Would a BJ from Daisy be within the realm of possibility? 512 00:39:30,284 --> 00:39:32,184 Not gonna happen. 513 00:39:32,353 --> 00:39:35,186 How about a pair of her still-warm shorts? 514 00:39:35,356 --> 00:39:36,721 All right. 515 00:39:36,891 --> 00:39:40,554 Hey, Bo, just win that Hazzard Rally. That's thanks enough. 516 00:39:40,728 --> 00:39:44,858 And when you get that prize money, you pay me, because that's how it works. 517 00:39:45,032 --> 00:39:47,262 I love you, Cooter. 518 00:39:49,236 --> 00:39:51,830 - I didn't have time to fix everything. - Right. 519 00:39:54,542 --> 00:39:56,510 Let's get that car. 520 00:40:23,404 --> 00:40:26,567 Get in your cars and get them! Get after them! Now! 521 00:40:26,740 --> 00:40:28,833 Cooter! 522 00:40:34,482 --> 00:40:36,347 All right. 523 00:40:37,885 --> 00:40:40,581 That's so good, man. 524 00:40:43,224 --> 00:40:45,124 Enough. 525 00:40:45,292 --> 00:40:49,251 Man, I'm never gonna get out of this car again. I'm gonna live in it. 526 00:40:49,430 --> 00:40:52,228 I'm gonna eat in it. And I'm gonna make sweet love to it. 527 00:40:52,700 --> 00:40:54,668 You mean you gonna make sweet love in it. 528 00:40:54,835 --> 00:40:56,427 Oh, no, I wanna fuck it. 529 00:40:56,604 --> 00:40:59,334 All units, we are in hot pursuit of them Duke boys... 530 00:40:59,507 --> 00:41:02,943 ...in their piece-of-shit orange car. 531 00:41:05,679 --> 00:41:07,442 "Piece of... " You son of a bitch. 532 00:41:26,467 --> 00:41:28,094 Hey! Get back here! 533 00:41:28,335 --> 00:41:31,202 - Lost Sheep, you out there? - Hey, Cooter. 534 00:41:31,372 --> 00:41:34,808 These fellas ain't gonna be doing much chasing. 535 00:41:34,975 --> 00:41:38,035 - Thanks, man. - I'm gonna run right over Billy Prickett. 536 00:41:38,212 --> 00:41:39,907 How about we go to Atlanta first? 537 00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:42,605 All right, cuz. 538 00:41:44,919 --> 00:41:48,946 Oh, look at that. There's your problem right there. 539 00:41:49,123 --> 00:41:50,488 Yeah, that's a shame. 540 00:41:52,626 --> 00:41:55,094 Let's go to Atlanta. 541 00:42:04,939 --> 00:42:06,907 Luke. 542 00:42:07,074 --> 00:42:08,803 Luke. 543 00:42:10,244 --> 00:42:15,181 I know why it didn't work out with me and Katie before. It was just timing. 544 00:42:15,349 --> 00:42:17,977 Life is all about timing, you know? 545 00:42:18,285 --> 00:42:21,812 It's my time now. I'm gonna win that race on Saturday. 546 00:42:21,989 --> 00:42:25,720 We're gonna get the farm back. I got my BFF, you. 547 00:42:26,694 --> 00:42:29,527 And I'm gonna get Katie Johnson, you watch. 548 00:42:33,901 --> 00:42:36,028 It's my time. 549 00:42:37,404 --> 00:42:40,771 What's going on? 550 00:42:43,544 --> 00:42:48,277 Yeah, baby! Southern by the grace of God! 551 00:42:51,719 --> 00:42:54,279 Well, at least we know they're nice up here. 552 00:42:54,521 --> 00:42:58,082 Hurry up, you're late for your Klan meeting, asshole. 553 00:42:58,259 --> 00:43:00,819 - Klan meeting? - Don't listen to her. 554 00:43:00,995 --> 00:43:04,396 The South will rise again. 555 00:43:04,565 --> 00:43:06,829 Yee-haw, brother! 556 00:43:07,001 --> 00:43:09,060 What the hell's wrong with these people? 557 00:43:09,236 --> 00:43:12,433 Nice roof, redneck. Join us in the 21st century? 558 00:43:20,881 --> 00:43:23,645 We're gonna make some friends up here, huh? 559 00:43:32,860 --> 00:43:35,488 Oh, excuse me. Can I help you, ma'am? 560 00:43:35,663 --> 00:43:37,494 Daisy! Oh, boy. 561 00:43:37,665 --> 00:43:40,065 Enos, what's Boss doing taking all that land? 562 00:43:40,234 --> 00:43:44,432 I don't know. They won't tell me. You gotta go. I'm supposed to arrest you. 563 00:43:44,605 --> 00:43:47,301 - Come on, I'm serious. - Get. Get out of here. 564 00:43:47,474 --> 00:43:50,637 Hey. You Anus? 565 00:43:51,211 --> 00:43:53,179 No, that's Enos, Mr. Prickett. 566 00:43:54,915 --> 00:43:58,248 Sorry about that. Is Hogg around? He asked me to come by. 567 00:43:58,419 --> 00:44:02,879 Oh, yeah. He's out back in the garage, Mr. Prickett. 568 00:44:04,291 --> 00:44:06,555 Well, howdy, ma'am. How are you today? 569 00:44:06,727 --> 00:44:09,093 It's just right on out back there. I'll show you. 570 00:44:09,263 --> 00:44:12,198 Yep, head out that way. 571 00:44:15,202 --> 00:44:17,363 There you go. 572 00:44:19,440 --> 00:44:21,340 There he is. 573 00:44:21,508 --> 00:44:23,476 - Hometown hero. - Hogg. 574 00:44:23,644 --> 00:44:25,339 - How you doing, son? - Well... 575 00:44:25,512 --> 00:44:28,777 ...this is a great place to crap, but I'm ready to head to Atlanta. 576 00:44:28,949 --> 00:44:30,348 Not before the race. 577 00:44:30,684 --> 00:44:32,845 Don't you worry about that. 578 00:44:33,020 --> 00:44:36,421 I want you down at that finish line. Sign autographs for the kids. 579 00:44:36,590 --> 00:44:38,524 - Yeah, I know the drill. - I know you do. 580 00:44:38,692 --> 00:44:41,684 But I need you there for two hours, son. Two hours. 581 00:44:41,862 --> 00:44:43,989 Kissing hands and shaking babies. 582 00:44:44,164 --> 00:44:47,827 You got that backwards. It's shaking hands and kiss the babies. 583 00:44:48,001 --> 00:44:51,960 Oh, yeah? Maybe that's why I lost that governor's election in '86. 584 00:44:56,677 --> 00:44:58,770 Hogg, what the hell am I doing here? 585 00:44:58,946 --> 00:45:00,914 Rosco. 586 00:45:03,984 --> 00:45:06,748 Whoa, what is this? You off the reservation? 587 00:45:06,920 --> 00:45:09,684 See how it kind of catches me around the eyes there? 588 00:45:09,857 --> 00:45:13,156 Look here, I already got sponsors. 589 00:45:13,327 --> 00:45:16,125 What am I supposed to tell Castrol, Yahoo!? 590 00:45:16,296 --> 00:45:18,730 Tell them it's for charity. 591 00:45:18,899 --> 00:45:21,163 - Is it? - Sure. Could be. 592 00:45:22,469 --> 00:45:26,098 Whatever you say. I'm gonna win that race by a mile. 593 00:45:26,273 --> 00:45:28,833 It don't matter whose face is on my car when I do. 594 00:45:29,009 --> 00:45:34,242 I don't need you to win the race. I just need you to show up. 595 00:45:47,361 --> 00:45:49,795 Hey there, Mr. Prickett. 596 00:45:49,963 --> 00:45:52,397 Well, hello, Daisy. 597 00:45:52,566 --> 00:45:57,697 I was just walking by, and I saw your car in the garage there. She's real sexy. 598 00:45:57,871 --> 00:46:01,204 Well, thank you. She's faster than a cheetah on cocaine. 599 00:46:01,375 --> 00:46:03,138 Yeah, I know. 600 00:46:03,310 --> 00:46:06,040 Why is there a picture of Boss Hogg on your car, though? 601 00:46:06,213 --> 00:46:08,340 - Yeah, well, he... - I read somewhere... 602 00:46:08,515 --> 00:46:14,215 ...that Coca-Cola pays you over $ 100,000 to put their logo on your door. 603 00:46:14,388 --> 00:46:16,117 - You read that? - That same article... 604 00:46:16,290 --> 00:46:19,123 ...mentioned that Budweiser pays you over $ 100,000... 605 00:46:19,293 --> 00:46:21,921 ...to put their logo on your trunk. - Look, Daisy... 606 00:46:22,095 --> 00:46:24,996 ...I'm not much of a reader. - Boss Hogg's face is sitting... 607 00:46:25,165 --> 00:46:28,828 ...on over $200,000 worth of real estate. 608 00:46:29,136 --> 00:46:30,535 Is that what he's paying you? 609 00:46:30,704 --> 00:46:35,334 Oh, no, no, Daisy, this race here is for charity. 610 00:46:35,509 --> 00:46:37,500 Really? Which one? 611 00:46:39,346 --> 00:46:40,870 Anal bifida. 612 00:46:41,048 --> 00:46:42,709 Spinal bifida. 613 00:46:43,050 --> 00:46:44,608 It's one of the bifidas. 614 00:46:46,720 --> 00:46:50,554 Have I told you that you're as purty as a Hazzard County sunset? 615 00:46:50,724 --> 00:46:53,955 Have a good day, Mr. Prickett. 616 00:46:54,127 --> 00:46:56,493 Okay. 617 00:47:14,181 --> 00:47:16,672 Lot of smart people out there. 618 00:47:39,840 --> 00:47:42,001 Look out, Katie. 619 00:47:45,379 --> 00:47:47,574 Hello. Hi. 620 00:47:47,915 --> 00:47:49,405 - Hello. - Hello. 621 00:47:49,583 --> 00:47:52,711 - Oh, boy. - Hi. 622 00:47:53,720 --> 00:47:57,747 You don't think it's too late to take them SATs, do you? 623 00:48:01,895 --> 00:48:04,523 You gotta keep an open mind in college. 624 00:48:06,266 --> 00:48:09,531 This is it, Luke. I can feel it. 625 00:48:09,703 --> 00:48:12,263 Hey, do you know where Katie Johnson is? 626 00:48:12,439 --> 00:48:14,304 I think she's in that room right there. 627 00:48:14,474 --> 00:48:16,465 - Thanks. - Thank you. 628 00:48:19,279 --> 00:48:21,770 - I got a great opening line for Katie. - What is it? 629 00:48:21,949 --> 00:48:23,712 You'll see. 630 00:48:23,884 --> 00:48:26,751 - Katie Johnson? - She's down the hall. 631 00:48:26,920 --> 00:48:30,447 - Cool. - Come on, down the hall. 632 00:48:33,193 --> 00:48:35,320 Katie Johnson? 633 00:48:35,495 --> 00:48:38,760 - She's down the hall. - Do you guys go to school here? 634 00:48:39,766 --> 00:48:41,961 No, but do you have an application? 635 00:48:42,502 --> 00:48:43,901 Not on me. 636 00:48:45,739 --> 00:48:48,105 Come on, now, focus. 637 00:48:53,447 --> 00:48:55,347 Let's hope she's not in here either. 638 00:48:55,515 --> 00:48:58,313 - Katie Johnson? - Fuck me running! 639 00:48:58,819 --> 00:49:01,720 - You looking for Katie? - We were. 640 00:49:02,089 --> 00:49:04,922 - You guys Hacky? - Hacky! 641 00:49:05,092 --> 00:49:08,220 - What about Katie? - Maybe she's in here. 642 00:49:15,268 --> 00:49:17,793 Goodbye, Bo. Bye, Luke. 643 00:49:18,170 --> 00:49:20,001 I guess she wasn't in there. 644 00:49:20,172 --> 00:49:22,766 - We didn't check under the couch. - Luke! Bo! 645 00:49:22,942 --> 00:49:25,069 - Katie. - Katie-Lynn. 646 00:49:29,482 --> 00:49:31,609 So he's still doing that? 647 00:49:33,152 --> 00:49:36,019 - Did I just faint? - No. 648 00:49:36,188 --> 00:49:38,452 Oh, my God. I can't believe y'all came. 649 00:49:39,492 --> 00:49:42,427 We just wanna pay you visit, the prettiest girl in Atlanta. 650 00:49:42,795 --> 00:49:44,626 What? 651 00:49:44,797 --> 00:49:48,289 We just wanna pay a visit to the prettiest girl in Atlanta. 652 00:49:48,467 --> 00:49:51,527 That's sweet. I can't believe what happened to y'all's farm. 653 00:49:51,704 --> 00:49:53,296 We're gonna get it back. 654 00:49:53,472 --> 00:49:56,305 I love that farm. I used to have so much fun there. 655 00:49:56,909 --> 00:49:58,604 - See? - This is my roommate, Annette. 656 00:49:58,778 --> 00:50:01,303 - Annette, this is Bo and Luke. - Nice to meet you. 657 00:50:01,480 --> 00:50:04,711 - Ma'am. - Annette's from Australia. 658 00:50:05,017 --> 00:50:08,248 Let's put another shrimp on the barbie! 659 00:50:11,490 --> 00:50:13,822 - That's what they say there. - Okay. 660 00:50:13,993 --> 00:50:15,961 What do y'all need in the geology lab? 661 00:50:16,128 --> 00:50:18,824 It has something to do with them taking our farm... 662 00:50:18,998 --> 00:50:21,626 ...but we don't know what the hell it is. 663 00:50:23,169 --> 00:50:26,002 I don't know that they'll let y'all in, but we'll take you. 664 00:50:26,172 --> 00:50:29,437 - We'll get dressed. Y'all wait downstairs. - We're gonna wait here. 665 00:50:29,609 --> 00:50:31,804 Downstairs is fine. 666 00:50:35,414 --> 00:50:38,406 It's happening, Luke. It's all happening. 667 00:50:47,193 --> 00:50:48,956 I'll give you that, Jesse. 668 00:50:49,128 --> 00:50:52,154 - I'll give you that. - Will you now? 669 00:50:53,265 --> 00:50:56,098 What are you doing with my land, Jefferson? 670 00:50:56,869 --> 00:50:58,928 Ain't your land anymore. 671 00:50:59,472 --> 00:51:02,839 Wasn't that long ago you was a moonshiner too. Remember? 672 00:51:03,009 --> 00:51:04,909 Well, I have reformed from my sins. 673 00:51:05,077 --> 00:51:07,602 I am now an honest businessman. 674 00:51:07,780 --> 00:51:09,509 Like sponsoring racecars? 675 00:51:09,715 --> 00:51:12,912 What are you getting out of bringing Billy Prickett down here? 676 00:51:14,587 --> 00:51:18,580 You know, your nephew's won that race four years in a row. 677 00:51:18,758 --> 00:51:22,421 Now, who's gonna fault me for breaking up a dynasty? 678 00:51:22,595 --> 00:51:24,688 Well, I know you're rich, and I know you stink. 679 00:51:24,864 --> 00:51:26,695 But you ain't stinking rich. 680 00:51:26,866 --> 00:51:29,130 You wouldn't be throwing that money at Prickett... 681 00:51:29,301 --> 00:51:31,963 ...unless you thought he was gonna earn you 10 times that. 682 00:51:32,138 --> 00:51:36,939 You're a smart man. So why don't you do the smart thing. 683 00:51:37,109 --> 00:51:40,135 Why don't you take your family and leave. 684 00:51:40,312 --> 00:51:43,907 Because, see, now I own that farm. 685 00:51:44,083 --> 00:51:47,541 And you ain't never gonna get it back. 686 00:51:59,265 --> 00:52:02,166 I have all the cards, Jesse. 687 00:52:02,334 --> 00:52:04,029 You don't have spit. 688 00:52:04,503 --> 00:52:06,596 It ain't over yet. 689 00:52:11,377 --> 00:52:14,471 Hey, Bo, I love your car. She really rumbles. 690 00:52:14,747 --> 00:52:17,477 It's actually a he. Right, Katie? 691 00:52:24,390 --> 00:52:25,982 I ain't even speeding. 692 00:52:43,943 --> 00:52:46,241 You know how fast you were going? 693 00:52:46,412 --> 00:52:51,213 - What? - How fast you were going. 694 00:52:52,118 --> 00:52:54,951 - I don't know. Ten? - Eight. 695 00:52:55,121 --> 00:53:00,149 - Isn't the speed limit 10? - Yeah. It is. 696 00:53:00,626 --> 00:53:03,117 You guys police? 697 00:53:03,295 --> 00:53:04,922 Campus police. 698 00:53:11,570 --> 00:53:13,595 Mother of God. 699 00:53:22,581 --> 00:53:24,105 Oh, wait. 700 00:53:34,593 --> 00:53:38,620 I know it's a shame to hide your beauty like this, but it's for your own good. 701 00:53:38,798 --> 00:53:40,197 What? 702 00:53:40,766 --> 00:53:43,064 I'm not even gonna respond to that. That's crazy. 703 00:53:43,369 --> 00:53:47,203 I know, I'll miss you too. I'll be right back. 704 00:53:47,773 --> 00:53:50,606 All right, let's go. Let's go. 705 00:53:56,148 --> 00:54:00,482 Katie-Lynn seems like a girl you could settle down with, don't you think, Luke? 706 00:54:00,653 --> 00:54:02,416 - Yeah. - I don't know, fellas. 707 00:54:02,588 --> 00:54:04,852 I don't think they're gonna let us walk in. 708 00:54:05,024 --> 00:54:09,688 You'll think of something, Katie. You always do. Remember that..? 709 00:54:09,862 --> 00:54:12,490 Oh, you're so pretty. 710 00:54:24,243 --> 00:54:26,768 I have an idea. 711 00:54:33,752 --> 00:54:37,153 - Can I help you? - You're just the guy we're looking for... 712 00:54:37,323 --> 00:54:39,052 - Royce. - Royce..? 713 00:54:39,225 --> 00:54:42,956 - Royce Williams. - Royce Williams, maybe you can help us. 714 00:54:43,128 --> 00:54:48,259 We're here looking for the brightest young geologists for high-paying jobs. 715 00:54:48,434 --> 00:54:49,924 Maybe you've been by our booth. 716 00:54:50,102 --> 00:54:53,435 - You're from Kamasaka Technologies? - That's right. 717 00:54:53,606 --> 00:54:57,440 I'm Mr. Ichinowa, and this is my colleague... 718 00:54:57,610 --> 00:54:59,100 ...Yoko Takanoshi. 719 00:55:00,713 --> 00:55:02,044 Right on. 720 00:55:02,848 --> 00:55:04,645 You said you were Japanese? 721 00:55:05,217 --> 00:55:06,445 We converted. 722 00:55:08,087 --> 00:55:11,579 Your professor tells us you're some kind of super-genius or something. 723 00:55:11,757 --> 00:55:15,955 - Really? On my last test I got a C-minus. - Hey, that's good. 724 00:55:16,128 --> 00:55:19,188 - That's real good. - You think..? 725 00:55:19,365 --> 00:55:21,663 You just might be Kamasaka Tech material. 726 00:55:22,268 --> 00:55:24,600 You just gotta pass this one little test. 727 00:55:24,770 --> 00:55:28,570 You just tell us what this is right here. 728 00:55:28,807 --> 00:55:31,071 Looks like a core sample. 729 00:55:31,243 --> 00:55:34,371 - Man, that's good. - He's good. 730 00:55:34,546 --> 00:55:38,141 - Core sample of what? - Oh, of course. 731 00:55:54,767 --> 00:55:57,565 - What are you doing? - What? 732 00:55:57,736 --> 00:56:01,900 - What the fuck was that? - Relax. 733 00:56:11,317 --> 00:56:13,114 Damn! Damn! 734 00:56:13,585 --> 00:56:15,280 These are my good Levi's. 735 00:56:15,454 --> 00:56:17,547 Let's not lose focus here, Royce. 736 00:56:17,723 --> 00:56:19,281 Yes, sir, Mr. Takanoshi. 737 00:56:19,458 --> 00:56:22,086 - What'd you call me? - Mr. Takanoshi? 738 00:56:22,695 --> 00:56:25,823 Right. That's my name. 739 00:56:27,132 --> 00:56:31,034 - Thought it might be drugs or something. - I think I know what it is. 740 00:56:43,649 --> 00:56:46,117 Are you really with Kamasaka Technologies? 741 00:56:46,285 --> 00:56:49,049 Damn it, we are high-powered Japanese executives. 742 00:56:49,221 --> 00:56:51,849 We work hard, and we play even harder. 743 00:56:52,024 --> 00:56:53,719 Now, tell us what you see there... 744 00:56:53,892 --> 00:56:56,918 ...or we'll go find another candidate at Georgia Polytech. 745 00:56:57,096 --> 00:56:59,963 It's anthracite. 746 00:57:00,499 --> 00:57:03,798 - Coal. - Coal in Hazzard? 747 00:57:03,969 --> 00:57:07,166 - What's the street value of this? - This much? Nothing. 748 00:57:07,339 --> 00:57:09,773 A good-sized mine? Could be millions. 749 00:57:10,175 --> 00:57:12,666 Can you show us what a good-sized mine looks like? 750 00:57:12,845 --> 00:57:14,938 Yeah. 751 00:57:17,850 --> 00:57:21,342 Here's what it used to look like. And this is the after. 752 00:57:26,058 --> 00:57:28,185 Damn. 753 00:57:28,594 --> 00:57:32,496 - Hogg's gonna do this to Hazzard? - The hell he is. 754 00:57:32,731 --> 00:57:35,632 Mr. Kamasaka? We have to go. The plane is leaving. 755 00:57:35,801 --> 00:57:39,794 Congratulations, Royce. You got the job. How does 24,000 yen a year sound? 756 00:57:40,139 --> 00:57:42,004 Sounds like 40 bucks. 757 00:57:42,174 --> 00:57:43,505 Way to go. 758 00:57:43,675 --> 00:57:47,076 All right, man. See you in Beijing. 759 00:57:51,050 --> 00:57:54,952 - You see two guys come through here? - You mean those two Japanese guys? 760 00:58:14,106 --> 00:58:16,700 Get me Atlanta P.D. Damn. 761 00:58:16,875 --> 00:58:18,103 Strip-mining? 762 00:58:18,377 --> 00:58:19,776 Why, that slimy bastard. 763 00:58:20,212 --> 00:58:21,702 Here's another little nugget. 764 00:58:21,880 --> 00:58:24,974 Hogg has been paying that kid Prickett a lot of money... 765 00:58:25,150 --> 00:58:27,482 ...to race here Saturday. - He's paying him? 766 00:58:28,020 --> 00:58:31,251 Y'all better get your asses back here quick as you can, got it? 767 00:58:31,423 --> 00:58:33,823 Ten-four, Shepherd, this is Lost Sheep out. 768 00:58:35,594 --> 00:58:38,290 What's this? What's these crackers doing in our place? 769 00:58:38,464 --> 00:58:42,093 Turns out Prickett came back because Hogg paid him a assload of cash. 770 00:58:42,401 --> 00:58:45,302 Don't mean Billy has anything to do with strip-mining. 771 00:58:45,471 --> 00:58:47,166 You got to be kidding me. 772 00:58:47,873 --> 00:58:49,773 Oh, shit. Roll them up. 773 00:58:50,609 --> 00:58:53,510 - What the hell is this, man? - Looks like somebody's lost. 774 00:58:53,679 --> 00:58:57,115 Look, a couple of white boys playing black. Is that's what's going on? 775 00:58:57,282 --> 00:59:00,809 Actually, we were at the geology lab for some environmental stuff, and... 776 00:59:00,986 --> 00:59:05,980 No, I get it. They on one of these reality shows. 777 00:59:06,158 --> 00:59:09,059 - Who Wanna Get They Ass Kicked? - Yeah. 778 00:59:09,795 --> 00:59:13,788 Why don't you two hillbillies join us up here for a minute? 779 00:59:13,966 --> 00:59:15,991 Actually, we prefer Appalachian-Americans. 780 00:59:16,168 --> 00:59:17,795 Man, get out the car! 781 00:59:19,972 --> 00:59:23,703 Now, which one of you two brothers is Michelangelo? 782 00:59:25,210 --> 00:59:29,772 There's a certain creek that people sometimes canoe up without a paddle. 783 00:59:29,948 --> 00:59:34,612 You could say that the Duke boys were on that particular creek right now. 784 00:59:34,786 --> 00:59:37,118 Let's kick they ass, Jerry! 785 00:59:38,790 --> 00:59:41,588 Never thought I'd say this, but, hot damn, it's the cops. 786 00:59:43,529 --> 00:59:44,962 There goes the canoe. 787 00:59:50,068 --> 00:59:52,127 - Give me your shoelaces. - What? 788 00:59:52,304 --> 00:59:56,707 These guys over there gave me theirs. See, I'm gonna fashion myself a lasso. 789 00:59:56,875 --> 01:00:00,504 When the jailer comes in, I'm gonna rope his keys. 790 01:00:00,679 --> 01:00:04,740 Luke and Bo Duke are home free. Period, end of story. 791 01:00:04,917 --> 01:00:08,011 I got on cowboy boots, cuz. 792 01:00:08,187 --> 01:00:10,985 I like your style. 793 01:00:11,156 --> 01:00:13,056 You gonna need those shoelaces? 794 01:00:13,225 --> 01:00:16,194 We gonna have to get out of here. 795 01:00:16,461 --> 01:00:20,795 Hey, Yul Brynner. We gotta make a phone call. We gotta call our lawyer. 796 01:00:20,966 --> 01:00:22,593 What the hell are we in here for? 797 01:00:22,901 --> 01:00:27,395 Well, where should I start? 798 01:00:33,445 --> 01:00:35,413 We know you're gonna strip-mine Hazzard. 799 01:00:35,581 --> 01:00:39,017 Do you, now? Well, that's good. 800 01:00:39,184 --> 01:00:41,516 Guess where I'm gonna sink that first drill. 801 01:00:41,687 --> 01:00:44,349 Right down in the middle of your bedroom. 802 01:00:44,523 --> 01:00:48,357 Y'all do still share a bunk bed, right? 803 01:00:48,527 --> 01:00:51,724 Hey, that's a phat suit there. What, you some type of pimp? 804 01:00:54,333 --> 01:00:59,168 What has strip-mining got to do with you paying Billy Prickett to race tomorrow? 805 01:00:59,538 --> 01:01:02,336 You like magic, Luke? Sleight of hand? 806 01:01:02,507 --> 01:01:08,673 See, while you're looking over here, something's really happening over here. 807 01:01:08,847 --> 01:01:14,251 You see, despite the fact that I now own your beloved farm... 808 01:01:14,419 --> 01:01:19,186 ...I can't legally mine it, because the county won't let me. 809 01:01:19,358 --> 01:01:21,758 I need to hold a public hearing, you know... 810 01:01:21,927 --> 01:01:27,490 ...to give the citizens of Hazzard a chance to object. 811 01:01:28,166 --> 01:01:32,068 And let me guess, you're going to hold the hearing during the rally tomorrow? 812 01:01:32,237 --> 01:01:36,537 And if nobody knows about the hearing, there won't be anyone there to object. 813 01:01:37,576 --> 01:01:39,601 - There you go. - Sleight of hand. 814 01:01:39,778 --> 01:01:42,110 - Sleight of hand. - Grow the fingernails out. 815 01:01:42,281 --> 01:01:45,273 Then pop some fingernail polish on them bitches. 816 01:01:46,618 --> 01:01:48,813 - Is Billy Prickett in on it? - Prickett? 817 01:01:50,889 --> 01:01:55,588 - Prickett's just collecting a paycheck. - We ain't gonna let you get away with it. 818 01:01:55,761 --> 01:02:00,596 Really? Tomorrow, if you happen to be strolling by the courthouse about noon... 819 01:02:00,766 --> 01:02:04,031 ...you might wanna rush right in there and voice your objections. 820 01:02:04,202 --> 01:02:05,760 Voice this. 821 01:02:07,839 --> 01:02:10,637 Dadgum it. I just remembered. 822 01:02:10,809 --> 01:02:14,210 Tomorrow morning you're going to the Georgia work farm. 823 01:02:14,379 --> 01:02:18,509 And I hear they have a rather strict policy on weekend passes. 824 01:02:18,684 --> 01:02:21,653 Yo, B. You need to pop a feather in that hat, yo. 825 01:02:21,820 --> 01:02:24,482 Then your man ho's will be having more respect for you. 826 01:02:24,823 --> 01:02:26,552 I have $ 100 right here... 827 01:02:26,725 --> 01:02:29,489 ...for whoever knocks that loudmouth son of a bitch out. 828 01:02:31,430 --> 01:02:32,829 Thank you. 829 01:02:32,998 --> 01:02:35,558 Now, break some rocks for me, boys. 830 01:02:35,734 --> 01:02:38,396 Take care, now, you hear? 831 01:02:38,570 --> 01:02:40,697 Bye-bye. 832 01:02:41,840 --> 01:02:45,435 Don't you know you're not supposed to wear white after Labor Day? 833 01:03:04,329 --> 01:03:06,194 All right, here's what we're gonna do. 834 01:03:06,365 --> 01:03:10,734 When we stop for gas, we call up Cooter and tell him to put a pig in the road, right. 835 01:03:10,902 --> 01:03:15,134 Then when the cops are moving the pig, Cooter hooks up a cable to the bumper. 836 01:03:15,307 --> 01:03:18,674 Car drives away, the hook will pull out the whole chassis. 837 01:03:18,844 --> 01:03:21,278 He can't drive without a chassis... 838 01:03:21,446 --> 01:03:23,107 All right, shut up back there! 839 01:03:23,281 --> 01:03:26,307 My cousin's starting to go crazy. We gotta get him to a hospital. 840 01:03:26,485 --> 01:03:28,783 I think he done caught the fever, or something. 841 01:03:28,954 --> 01:03:32,515 That's what happens when you're humping livestock, hillbilly. 842 01:03:32,691 --> 01:03:35,091 Can we help you guys out with anything up there... 843 01:03:35,260 --> 01:03:37,455 ...oblige you with a reach-around or something? 844 01:03:37,629 --> 01:03:39,995 Of course, you'd have to un-cuff us first. 845 01:03:40,165 --> 01:03:43,498 Sarge, if you and me was to have a chase, you think you could catch me? 846 01:03:44,002 --> 01:03:47,130 - Appears to me you caught already, son. - I'm serious. 847 01:03:47,305 --> 01:03:51,207 If I had my car and you was in this one, you really think you could catch me? 848 01:03:51,376 --> 01:03:54,072 Because, bubba, this car feels kind of slow to me. 849 01:03:54,246 --> 01:03:57,215 She's got plenty under the hood, don't you worry about that. 850 01:03:57,382 --> 01:03:59,009 - No balls. - No balls. 851 01:03:59,184 --> 01:04:01,345 No balls. No balls. 852 01:04:01,520 --> 01:04:02,919 - No balls. - No balls. 853 01:04:03,088 --> 01:04:05,079 You wanna see balls? 854 01:04:05,257 --> 01:04:08,090 - No balls. No balls. - Will you slow this car down? 855 01:04:08,260 --> 01:04:11,593 You letting them get your panties in a bunch. You the officer. 856 01:04:11,763 --> 01:04:14,163 Shut the hell up back there. All right? 857 01:04:14,433 --> 01:04:17,834 - No balls. - Oh, my God. Will you look at that? 858 01:04:18,036 --> 01:04:21,096 You need a napkin to eat them drumsticks, boy. 859 01:04:22,741 --> 01:04:25,471 - Goddamn it. - Nice driving! 860 01:04:31,316 --> 01:04:33,375 What seems to be the problem, sugar? 861 01:04:33,885 --> 01:04:36,649 I think something bounced up into my undercarriage. 862 01:04:36,822 --> 01:04:39,154 - Will you take a look? - Ma'am, I'd be pleased... 863 01:04:39,324 --> 01:04:41,690 ...to check your undercarriage. - Thank you. 864 01:04:41,860 --> 01:04:44,420 I stopped you because your taillight is out. 865 01:04:44,596 --> 01:04:46,393 Stopped me? Sir, you hit me. 866 01:04:46,565 --> 01:04:49,534 Because your taillight is out, and we couldn't see you brake. 867 01:04:49,701 --> 01:04:52,067 - You're gonna write me a ticket? - Yep. 868 01:04:52,404 --> 01:04:54,269 This is ridiculous! 869 01:04:56,708 --> 01:04:59,575 Is there anything I can help you out with today, ma'am? 870 01:04:59,744 --> 01:05:02,611 Do cute cops grow on trees around here or what? 871 01:05:02,814 --> 01:05:06,875 Well, I, you know... Pushups. Kind of you to notice. 872 01:05:07,052 --> 01:05:10,078 Let me see what's going on under your hood here. 873 01:05:11,823 --> 01:05:15,589 - Damn, that's hot. - Here. Maybe this'll help. 874 01:05:19,498 --> 01:05:22,865 - Bless you. - No, no, no. My undercarriage. 875 01:05:23,034 --> 01:05:25,468 - Your undercarriage? - Yeah. 876 01:05:32,844 --> 01:05:36,280 Looks like you boys have the magic touch. 877 01:05:46,157 --> 01:05:48,489 I was about to seal the deal when you came over. 878 01:05:48,660 --> 01:05:50,855 What? She was looking at me the whole time. 879 01:05:52,364 --> 01:05:55,197 - Let's get out of here. - Where are the goddamn keys? 880 01:06:00,639 --> 01:06:03,130 Y'all think you can catch me now? 881 01:06:17,689 --> 01:06:19,554 Buckle up, this might get exciting. 882 01:06:19,724 --> 01:06:23,160 That's all right. We'll be long gone before another cop shows up. 883 01:06:24,596 --> 01:06:25,790 Get skinny! 884 01:06:37,008 --> 01:06:39,568 - Okay, where's the highway? - Don't you have a map? 885 01:06:40,679 --> 01:06:42,112 Wait. I got it. 886 01:06:45,617 --> 01:06:46,982 Turn left up here! 887 01:06:47,152 --> 01:06:48,449 Turn left, turn left! 888 01:06:49,988 --> 01:06:51,979 Damn it, I said, left! 889 01:06:52,157 --> 01:06:54,523 - You said your left! - My left is your left. 890 01:06:54,693 --> 01:06:57,389 I'm gonna need these directions faster. 891 01:07:00,165 --> 01:07:03,100 It's okay. I know exactly where we're at. 892 01:07:10,675 --> 01:07:12,370 So, girls, how's the back seat? 893 01:07:12,544 --> 01:07:16,503 I haven't had this much fun since we used to sneak up to the hayloft. 894 01:07:18,116 --> 01:07:21,244 You remember those tight little outfits you used to make me wear. 895 01:07:26,558 --> 01:07:30,153 - I didn't know how to break it to you. - You didn't know? 896 01:07:30,328 --> 01:07:32,159 Luke, you said he was okay with it. 897 01:07:35,834 --> 01:07:38,234 Look at the road, Bo. 898 01:07:38,403 --> 01:07:40,428 Bo, look at the road. 899 01:07:41,606 --> 01:07:44,871 - Look at the road. - Supposed to be my time. 900 01:07:46,144 --> 01:07:47,475 Bo! 901 01:08:08,633 --> 01:08:09,998 I think I'm gonna chunder. 902 01:08:10,168 --> 01:08:12,033 - Is that bad? - That means "vomit. " 903 01:08:12,203 --> 01:08:13,761 - Not in the car. - Bo! 904 01:08:40,565 --> 01:08:43,534 You told me she wasn't emotionally available for me. 905 01:08:43,702 --> 01:08:46,796 That it was better to lose a lover than to love a loser! 906 01:08:46,971 --> 01:08:49,337 Because you would faint every time you saw her! 907 01:08:49,507 --> 01:08:52,067 I don't faint. 908 01:08:54,145 --> 01:08:55,578 You called me a loser? 909 01:08:55,747 --> 01:08:57,715 I was trying to make him feel better. 910 01:08:57,882 --> 01:08:59,440 Can you just let me out here? 911 01:09:13,331 --> 01:09:16,596 Bo, this is some of the best driving I ever seen you do. 912 01:09:16,768 --> 01:09:19,737 - Ain't that right, girls? - Great driving, Bo. Great driving. 913 01:09:19,904 --> 01:09:21,565 Don't kiss my ass. 914 01:09:26,911 --> 01:09:29,937 - Bo, you gotta get us out of here. - I can't hear you. 915 01:09:30,115 --> 01:09:33,107 - You're being ridiculous, Bo. - Life is ridiculous, Katie. 916 01:09:33,284 --> 01:09:35,343 I really need a plastic bag now. 917 01:09:41,226 --> 01:09:43,160 What is the purpose of this circle? 918 01:09:46,865 --> 01:09:48,196 How do we get out of here? 919 01:09:48,366 --> 01:09:50,561 - Take this right. - I'm not listening to you. 920 01:09:50,735 --> 01:09:52,669 Take a right here. 921 01:09:54,272 --> 01:09:55,603 Hell. 922 01:10:05,483 --> 01:10:07,713 You're scaring the girls. Get back on the road. 923 01:10:07,886 --> 01:10:10,753 - Say sorry for stealing Katie. - You were never together! 924 01:10:10,922 --> 01:10:12,583 I liked her. You betrayed that. 925 01:10:12,757 --> 01:10:15,419 - I liked her too! - I liked her first. 926 01:10:16,461 --> 01:10:17,689 Calm down, Bo! 927 01:10:17,862 --> 01:10:19,887 I will calm down when he says he's sorry! 928 01:10:20,064 --> 01:10:22,123 - Say you're sorry. - I ain't saying it. 929 01:10:22,300 --> 01:10:24,598 Have you made your peace with God yet, Luke? 930 01:10:24,769 --> 01:10:28,205 Because you're about to meet your maker! 931 01:10:28,473 --> 01:10:29,940 - Just say you're sorry! - No. 932 01:10:30,108 --> 01:10:33,771 We had a good time, and I'm not gonna apologize for that. 933 01:10:49,828 --> 01:10:52,228 Okay, I'm sorry. 934 01:10:52,397 --> 01:10:54,865 Fine. I'll take Annette. 935 01:10:57,936 --> 01:11:00,302 That was fun. 936 01:11:08,379 --> 01:11:10,847 Lost Sheep, Lost Sheep, are you out there? 937 01:11:11,015 --> 01:11:12,414 Uncle Jesse, where are you? 938 01:11:12,584 --> 01:11:16,350 There's a hearing at the courthouse. We gotta get everybody over there now. 939 01:11:16,521 --> 01:11:18,921 Sounds like a mighty fine plan, Lucas. 940 01:11:19,090 --> 01:11:21,615 Only got one wrinkle to it. 941 01:11:21,793 --> 01:11:28,221 You do that, could be very bad for Jesse and Pauline's health. 942 01:11:28,499 --> 01:11:30,228 Hogg, you lay one hand on them... 943 01:11:30,401 --> 01:11:33,461 ...and I'll shove a apple in your mouth and my foot up your ass. 944 01:11:33,638 --> 01:11:35,299 Well, you bring the Vaseline. 945 01:11:35,974 --> 01:11:37,601 We'll make it a party. 946 01:11:37,775 --> 01:11:41,370 You two boys stay out of Hazzard, and I mean it this time. 947 01:11:41,546 --> 01:11:44,242 - Where you think they got them? - I don't know. 948 01:11:44,415 --> 01:11:47,748 - Hogg's never gone this far before. - You ready to go that far? 949 01:11:48,453 --> 01:11:52,014 Cousin, I'm always ready to go that far. 950 01:12:05,270 --> 01:12:08,535 What are we doing here? This is Derek Sheevington's place. 951 01:12:08,706 --> 01:12:12,972 Yeah. Pretty good chance this is gonna get ugly, so we're gonna drop you here. 952 01:12:13,144 --> 01:12:16,170 He got caught drinking out of the toilet in the girls' bathroom. 953 01:12:16,347 --> 01:12:19,976 I know, I know. But we're gonna need you girls to work with him. 954 01:12:21,052 --> 01:12:22,349 Oh, good God. 955 01:12:25,156 --> 01:12:27,818 Why, Katie Johnson, is that you? 956 01:12:27,992 --> 01:12:29,789 Boy, you filled out real nice. 957 01:12:29,961 --> 01:12:32,794 Yeah. You filled out real nice too, Sheev. 958 01:12:32,964 --> 01:12:36,923 What's going on, Sheev? Looks like we're gonna need some of those toys. 959 01:12:37,168 --> 01:12:40,968 Leave them two girls here, I'll give you anything you want. 960 01:12:41,139 --> 01:12:43,664 Come on in. I'll put a stew on. 961 01:12:53,284 --> 01:12:57,186 - Hazzard County Police Department. - Enos, this is Boss Hogg. 962 01:12:57,355 --> 01:12:59,380 Me and Rosco are over at the Duke place. 963 01:12:59,557 --> 01:13:03,357 - If anybody wants us, we'll be here. - Well, that's mighty consid... 964 01:13:05,863 --> 01:13:10,391 Rosco, I'm going over and join the governor at the rally. 965 01:13:10,568 --> 01:13:14,334 Do not be late going to the courthouse. 966 01:13:14,505 --> 01:13:17,804 Boss, how come you told old Enos there where we was at? 967 01:13:21,212 --> 01:13:23,737 You remember the time we tried to fix the rodeo? 968 01:13:23,915 --> 01:13:27,612 - Yeah. - It was Enos that told the Dukes about it. 969 01:13:28,086 --> 01:13:31,578 Then we tried to spread those rumors about the Mad Cow Disease... 970 01:13:31,756 --> 01:13:35,920 ...so my chicken factories would make a little more profit. 971 01:13:36,094 --> 01:13:38,585 It was Enos that told the Duke boys. 972 01:13:38,763 --> 01:13:41,391 So you want them Duke boys to come out here? 973 01:14:13,798 --> 01:14:18,963 Enos, where's Boss Hogg and Rosco? 974 01:14:19,137 --> 01:14:21,537 They're at your farm. 975 01:14:22,106 --> 01:14:24,233 Thank you, Enos. 976 01:14:28,946 --> 01:14:31,380 That might be a new record. 977 01:14:37,288 --> 01:14:39,779 What? Okay, thanks, Daisy. 978 01:14:41,726 --> 01:14:43,091 He's at our farm. 979 01:14:45,463 --> 01:14:47,590 Hey. Hey, look, there's Prickett. 980 01:14:48,299 --> 01:14:50,494 - So? - He can help us. 981 01:14:50,668 --> 01:14:53,501 He don't care about Hazzard. He's getting paid to be here. 982 01:14:53,671 --> 01:14:55,901 Oh, man, you're wrong. He's from here. 983 01:15:03,247 --> 01:15:06,216 - You out of your goddamn mind? - Hey, Billy. 984 01:15:06,384 --> 01:15:10,218 - Boss Hogg's gonna strip-mine Hazzard. - Just hold your horses. 985 01:15:10,388 --> 01:15:13,585 - Who's stripping? - He's playing you, man. 986 01:15:13,758 --> 01:15:16,386 - He paid you to come and race... - Just save your breath. 987 01:15:16,561 --> 01:15:19,394 - I already know. - You already know? 988 01:15:20,998 --> 01:15:24,525 - But this is your hometown. - I hate to break this to you, Bo-Bo... 989 01:15:24,702 --> 01:15:27,330 ...but this place is a shithole. 990 01:15:27,505 --> 01:15:31,464 If it wasn't a strip mine, it'd be a strip mall. 991 01:15:33,111 --> 01:15:37,605 Kind of like one of them outlets where everything's reduced prices and... 992 01:15:37,782 --> 01:15:41,445 Hell, they don't even have an Outback Steakhouse down here. Am I right? 993 01:15:41,619 --> 01:15:44,486 - Right as pie, Billy. - Saddle up, Dil. 994 01:15:48,860 --> 01:15:53,194 Look at the bright side, Bo-Bo. At least you didn't have to race me today. 995 01:15:53,364 --> 01:15:57,164 Because I would've left that little Tonka toy you drive at the starting stripe. 996 01:15:57,335 --> 01:15:59,701 - Tonka. - I'm gonna kill him. 997 01:15:59,871 --> 01:16:02,135 Hey, hey, hey! 998 01:16:02,306 --> 01:16:04,570 - What about Uncle Jesse? - Wanna ride this stag? 999 01:16:04,742 --> 01:16:08,109 - You wanna rodeo with this clown? - Uncle Jesse's old, Luke. 1000 01:16:08,279 --> 01:16:09,940 He's had a good run. 1001 01:16:10,114 --> 01:16:15,746 Besides, if he passes, God have mercy on his soul, we get the farm. 1002 01:16:18,756 --> 01:16:21,816 I'm just playing with you, man. Let's go get him. 1003 01:16:33,437 --> 01:16:35,132 They're here. 1004 01:16:41,846 --> 01:16:43,211 Cooter, you ready out there? 1005 01:16:43,381 --> 01:16:46,612 You get Rosco out of there, Daisy and I'll take care of the rest. 1006 01:16:46,784 --> 01:16:49,844 What do you say we smoke the varmint out of his hole? 1007 01:16:52,590 --> 01:16:55,923 Hey, Rosco, come on out, you fat son of a bitch! 1008 01:17:02,266 --> 01:17:04,791 - Cletus, get your butt out there. - Thank you, Rosco. 1009 01:17:19,016 --> 01:17:21,746 - Let me know if you're gonna puke! - Oh, you'll know first! 1010 01:17:28,926 --> 01:17:32,327 All right, boys! Y'all come on out of there with your hands up. 1011 01:17:34,065 --> 01:17:36,329 - Hey, Rosco! - Hi, Boo-Boo. 1012 01:17:47,178 --> 01:17:49,442 I didn't know we had so many pigs on the farm. 1013 01:18:01,325 --> 01:18:04,488 - I call this "painting the fence. " - I think you missed a spot. 1014 01:18:08,532 --> 01:18:10,500 Look out, look out! 1015 01:18:10,735 --> 01:18:13,067 - You gonna get us out of here? - I'm working on it! 1016 01:18:29,053 --> 01:18:31,146 Man, they're hauling ass, pick it up! 1017 01:18:41,232 --> 01:18:43,598 - You gonna make that? - I'm planning on it. 1018 01:18:46,671 --> 01:18:48,571 Hold on, Luke. 1019 01:18:52,276 --> 01:18:54,039 I'll go in this direction now! 1020 01:19:07,758 --> 01:19:10,556 All right, Jesse. I'm arresting those... 1021 01:19:11,128 --> 01:19:14,222 Jesse? Jesse? 1022 01:19:17,335 --> 01:19:19,326 Courthouse. 1023 01:19:27,712 --> 01:19:31,341 Attention! Attention, good people of Hazzard! 1024 01:19:31,515 --> 01:19:34,382 Life as we know it is about to end. 1025 01:19:34,552 --> 01:19:39,353 As we speak, dark forces are conspiring to strip-mine our land. 1026 01:19:39,523 --> 01:19:41,855 Follow me to the courthouse, and we'll save you! 1027 01:19:43,728 --> 01:19:47,892 Yeah, right, Sheev. Last year the CIA was brainwashing our cows. 1028 01:19:48,566 --> 01:19:49,965 Get a job, man. 1029 01:19:51,235 --> 01:19:53,066 Hey, Sheev. Sheev. 1030 01:19:53,237 --> 01:19:57,298 - Go back to your spaceship. - I'm serious. Come on! 1031 01:19:58,442 --> 01:19:59,500 Bye, Sheev. 1032 01:20:13,891 --> 01:20:15,825 It might be good if you helped out here. 1033 01:20:15,993 --> 01:20:18,120 - Hell, move over, I'll drive. - No way. 1034 01:20:18,295 --> 01:20:20,160 I'm still hoping to survive this thing. 1035 01:20:22,133 --> 01:20:23,794 Goddamn it. Son of a bitch. 1036 01:20:27,104 --> 01:20:30,073 I like the way you think, cuz. Yeah, boy! 1037 01:20:48,626 --> 01:20:50,150 Hold on. 1038 01:21:05,075 --> 01:21:07,407 Lost Sheep, Lost Sheep, are you out there? 1039 01:21:08,045 --> 01:21:09,205 Go for Lost Sheep. 1040 01:21:09,380 --> 01:21:11,575 - Free and clear. - Good. 1041 01:21:11,749 --> 01:21:14,274 Sheev's making sure everyone goes to the hearing. 1042 01:21:14,452 --> 01:21:16,215 - I'll see you in town. - Over and out. 1043 01:21:16,387 --> 01:21:17,877 Let's get the hell out of here. 1044 01:21:23,127 --> 01:21:27,029 - Barn door, coming up. - Yeah, I see it. Hold on! 1045 01:21:49,487 --> 01:21:51,182 The General! 1046 01:21:51,422 --> 01:21:53,117 Let's head to the courthouse! 1047 01:21:57,428 --> 01:22:00,397 End of the World to Lost Sheep, End of the World to Lost Sheep. 1048 01:22:00,564 --> 01:22:02,532 - Come in, Lost Sheep. - What do you got? 1049 01:22:02,700 --> 01:22:05,032 - Everybody headed into town? - That's a negative. 1050 01:22:05,202 --> 01:22:06,692 Repeat, that's a negative. 1051 01:22:06,871 --> 01:22:09,465 No one listened. They threw hot dogs at us. 1052 01:22:10,307 --> 01:22:13,140 - Did you tell them about the strip mine? - Of course I did. 1053 01:22:13,711 --> 01:22:16,839 Were you wearing a armadillo helmet when you told them about it? 1054 01:22:19,216 --> 01:22:20,513 No. 1055 01:22:21,552 --> 01:22:23,042 Okay, Lost Sheep out. 1056 01:22:24,088 --> 01:22:25,715 No one's heading in to town? 1057 01:22:25,890 --> 01:22:29,883 If we don't get to that courthouse by noon, there ain't gonna be no town. 1058 01:22:32,763 --> 01:22:36,529 - Well, we still got time for Plan B. - I like Plan B. 1059 01:22:36,700 --> 01:22:37,997 - Plan B. - Plan B. 1060 01:22:38,168 --> 01:22:40,363 When you're flying by the seat of your pants... 1061 01:22:40,538 --> 01:22:43,666 ... nothing sounds more official than a Plan B. 1062 01:22:45,276 --> 01:22:48,109 Don't worry, cuz, I'll get them to the courthouse. 1063 01:23:12,202 --> 01:23:15,433 This emergency hearing is now in session. 1064 01:23:17,007 --> 01:23:19,168 Rosco, where is everybody? 1065 01:23:20,644 --> 01:23:22,043 I'm here. 1066 01:23:22,713 --> 01:23:24,044 Well, we have until noon. 1067 01:24:05,055 --> 01:24:09,424 Now, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls... 1068 01:24:09,593 --> 01:24:14,530 ...it's my honor today to introduce my friend... 1069 01:24:14,698 --> 01:24:20,864 ...and the friend of everybody in the greatest state of the United States... 1070 01:24:23,674 --> 01:24:29,237 ...the governor, James T. Applewhite! 1071 01:24:29,480 --> 01:24:31,778 Thank you. Thank you. 1072 01:24:33,117 --> 01:24:34,744 Ladies and gentlemen... 1073 01:24:34,918 --> 01:24:39,912 ...welcome to the 70th Annual Hazzard Road Rally! 1074 01:24:42,192 --> 01:24:45,286 Drivers, start your engines! 1075 01:24:56,407 --> 01:25:00,776 Just have a couple pi�a coladas waiting for me at the finish line, Dil. 1076 01:25:00,944 --> 01:25:02,639 Here comes the heat. 1077 01:25:06,650 --> 01:25:08,379 There they go. 1078 01:25:14,425 --> 01:25:16,359 Come on, come on, come on. 1079 01:25:37,347 --> 01:25:39,247 He's in the race! 1080 01:26:10,614 --> 01:26:13,947 It has been confirmed that the orange car that entered the race... 1081 01:26:14,118 --> 01:26:17,019 ...is in fact the same car that tore up Atlanta this morning. 1082 01:26:17,187 --> 01:26:21,283 It seems that the "orange-car fugitives" are from right here in Hazzard County. 1083 01:26:21,458 --> 01:26:24,484 State and local authorities are trying to subdue the vehicle... 1084 01:26:24,661 --> 01:26:26,253 ...known as the General Lee. 1085 01:26:26,430 --> 01:26:30,298 Well, General-Lee speaking, I'd say those cops are in for a pretty tough time. 1086 01:26:30,467 --> 01:26:32,628 I'm Rick Shakely. Back to you, Marty. 1087 01:26:38,242 --> 01:26:41,439 This is Boss Hogg. The Dukes are on the course. 1088 01:26:41,612 --> 01:26:47,551 I want all available vehicles to shut down the road to the courthouse! 1089 01:26:47,718 --> 01:26:50,084 - We're gonna need to clear a path. - You got it. 1090 01:26:53,791 --> 01:26:58,091 Hey, Dil, what's the word on those C�line Dion tickets? 1091 01:26:59,096 --> 01:27:03,192 Well, of course I wanna go backstage. Don't be dumb. 1092 01:27:55,485 --> 01:27:56,645 Damn. 1093 01:28:09,933 --> 01:28:14,063 Enos. I want you down to the courthouse. I... 1094 01:28:15,606 --> 01:28:17,039 Someone moved my car. 1095 01:28:18,909 --> 01:28:22,868 Enos, you dipstick, did somebody move my car? 1096 01:28:23,413 --> 01:28:26,576 Hell, let's just sack up and shoot the bastard. 1097 01:28:29,119 --> 01:28:31,713 Holy shit! 1098 01:28:32,222 --> 01:28:34,247 Luke, where the hell are you? 1099 01:28:49,873 --> 01:28:52,774 - Good God almighty. - It's about time! 1100 01:28:52,943 --> 01:28:55,776 - How's the race going? - How's it look like it's going? 1101 01:29:43,694 --> 01:29:45,218 Why, you dirty son of a bitch. 1102 01:29:48,999 --> 01:29:50,762 Hey, go easy on that. 1103 01:29:50,934 --> 01:29:54,927 For what I'm getting ready to do, I don't wanna remember a lot of it. 1104 01:30:01,311 --> 01:30:03,108 You know why tornadoes and blonds... 1105 01:30:03,280 --> 01:30:05,305 ...are so much alike? - No. 1106 01:30:05,482 --> 01:30:10,146 At first, there's a lot of sucking and blowing, and then you lose your house. 1107 01:30:15,292 --> 01:30:18,125 Know what you get when you cross a donkey with an onion? 1108 01:30:18,295 --> 01:30:19,853 - No. - You get a piece of ass... 1109 01:30:20,030 --> 01:30:22,965 ...that'll bring a tear to your eye. 1110 01:30:27,904 --> 01:30:29,462 You thinking about throwing it? 1111 01:30:29,639 --> 01:30:31,869 Oh, I'll throw it. I was thinking about pussy. 1112 01:30:39,649 --> 01:30:41,776 You know why divorces are so expensive? 1113 01:30:41,952 --> 01:30:44,512 - No. - Because they're worth it. 1114 01:30:47,491 --> 01:30:49,516 Fire in the hole. 1115 01:30:55,465 --> 01:30:59,196 Hey, Bo, take it home. The coast is clear. 1116 01:31:11,148 --> 01:31:13,013 Here we go again. 1117 01:31:13,183 --> 01:31:15,344 Okay, I'm gonna get those cops to follow me. 1118 01:31:15,519 --> 01:31:18,352 When I do, tow those cruisers out of the way. 1119 01:31:18,522 --> 01:31:20,422 Can do. 1120 01:31:34,504 --> 01:31:37,564 Excuse me, officers. My car broke down up the street there... 1121 01:31:37,741 --> 01:31:40,039 ...and I was wondering if y'all could help me out. 1122 01:31:40,210 --> 01:31:43,111 Why, yes, ma'am. We'll be happy to. 1123 01:31:43,280 --> 01:31:46,681 - Oh, you're sweet. - Let's go. 1124 01:31:47,217 --> 01:31:50,744 Halt! Tough shit, honey. You go fix your own car. 1125 01:31:50,921 --> 01:31:52,513 Ain't no one going anywhere. 1126 01:31:53,457 --> 01:31:55,584 What the hell are you doing? 1127 01:32:05,869 --> 01:32:07,166 Come on, General. 1128 01:32:38,568 --> 01:32:40,900 Hey, Dil, we got a late arrival! 1129 01:32:50,547 --> 01:32:52,242 Hey, Billy! 1130 01:33:02,225 --> 01:33:04,557 You're gonna pay for that, Bo-Bo. 1131 01:33:08,765 --> 01:33:11,199 I've had just about enough of you. 1132 01:33:23,647 --> 01:33:24,944 Here they come. 1133 01:33:40,864 --> 01:33:43,526 Of course I can feel him on my left! Of course I can! 1134 01:33:48,471 --> 01:33:51,668 - Where is he getting this from? - Hey, Billy! 1135 01:33:51,841 --> 01:33:53,240 He's playing with me! 1136 01:34:01,184 --> 01:34:03,846 - Come on. - The General Lee has won the race. 1137 01:34:05,488 --> 01:34:07,046 I want him tested for steroids! 1138 01:34:10,860 --> 01:34:13,920 But Billy Prickett and the General Lee haven't had quite enough driving. 1139 01:34:14,097 --> 01:34:16,031 They're still going. 1140 01:34:17,500 --> 01:34:19,730 - Come on, y'all! - We'll interview these guys... 1141 01:34:19,903 --> 01:34:22,997 ...if we have to chase after them ourselves. Tito, start the van. 1142 01:34:23,540 --> 01:34:25,440 Better luck next time, Hogg. 1143 01:34:25,609 --> 01:34:27,167 Let's go, baby. 1144 01:34:34,918 --> 01:34:36,943 Don't go home, really. 1145 01:34:39,155 --> 01:34:41,180 This is Boss Hogg. 1146 01:34:41,358 --> 01:34:46,193 That road better be shut down tighter than a tick's ass. 1147 01:34:46,863 --> 01:34:49,331 Ten-four. Barricade's in place. 1148 01:34:55,238 --> 01:34:57,365 Rosco, is anyone coming? 1149 01:34:57,941 --> 01:35:02,037 - What, I ain't good enough for you? - No comment. 1150 01:35:03,513 --> 01:35:06,073 Don't write that down. Don't write that down. 1151 01:35:06,249 --> 01:35:09,275 - Are they coming? - Oh, yeah, they're coming. 1152 01:35:09,452 --> 01:35:11,943 We got the whole town headed to the courthouse. 1153 01:35:13,189 --> 01:35:16,420 - Daisy, we all clear? - Not exactly. 1154 01:35:16,593 --> 01:35:19,187 "Not exactly" could be a problem. 1155 01:35:19,362 --> 01:35:23,526 Bo? I think we're gonna have to shoot the moon. 1156 01:35:38,982 --> 01:35:41,507 - What the hell are you doing, Cooter? - Sorry, officer. 1157 01:35:41,685 --> 01:35:43,653 I heard a pretty lady needed a tow. 1158 01:35:46,790 --> 01:35:49,691 - Cooter. - I can't hear you. 1159 01:35:49,859 --> 01:35:52,293 Cooter, what the hell are you doing? 1160 01:36:00,337 --> 01:36:02,703 Hey, Billy! 1161 01:36:02,872 --> 01:36:04,965 You think I was born yesterday, Bo-Bo? 1162 01:36:06,242 --> 01:36:08,233 Oh, shit! 1163 01:36:16,486 --> 01:36:18,181 Holy shit. 1164 01:36:34,671 --> 01:36:37,333 Luke, I made it, but I don't know how anybody else will. 1165 01:36:37,507 --> 01:36:40,374 That's okay, I got an idea! 1166 01:36:44,214 --> 01:36:46,045 Well, I'll see you on the other side. 1167 01:37:01,297 --> 01:37:03,356 Give me your goddamn driver's license. 1168 01:37:03,533 --> 01:37:05,296 What license? 1169 01:37:12,142 --> 01:37:14,770 What are we waiting on, judge? Let's finish this thing. 1170 01:37:14,944 --> 01:37:16,775 Well, I guess it's that time. 1171 01:37:16,946 --> 01:37:19,881 I just can't believe that nobody wants to object. 1172 01:37:21,317 --> 01:37:25,048 All those in favor of the strip-mining ordinance? 1173 01:37:26,823 --> 01:37:29,189 - They're gonna strip-mine Hazzard? - Damn straight. 1174 01:37:29,359 --> 01:37:33,728 - How can they do that? - Don't worry, we're about to stop them. 1175 01:37:34,898 --> 01:37:36,923 All those opposed? 1176 01:37:38,902 --> 01:37:41,530 What the hell is that? Who locked that door? 1177 01:37:45,975 --> 01:37:48,569 - Oh, man, that's gonna hurt tomorrow. - Your Honor! 1178 01:37:48,745 --> 01:37:53,239 I think we got some people who might like to object to this strip-mining issue. 1179 01:37:53,683 --> 01:37:57,119 Okay, all those opposed to the strip-mining ordinance? 1180 01:38:00,156 --> 01:38:05,924 This court hereby declares that the strip-mining ordinance is dismissed. 1181 01:38:11,334 --> 01:38:14,462 Thank you much. Thank you, Boss. Hi, how y'all? 1182 01:38:14,704 --> 01:38:17,434 She might be a little low on gas. 1183 01:38:17,607 --> 01:38:19,575 Take that. 1184 01:38:20,710 --> 01:38:24,077 Were you really gonna strip-mine Hazzard, Mr. Hogg? 1185 01:38:24,848 --> 01:38:27,442 I was thinking about it. 1186 01:38:29,085 --> 01:38:30,882 - Out of the way. - Step aside, please. 1187 01:38:31,054 --> 01:38:32,419 Excuse me, ma'am. 1188 01:38:33,790 --> 01:38:36,088 - Get your hands up. - People, move back. 1189 01:38:36,259 --> 01:38:37,851 Hands up, hands up. 1190 01:38:38,027 --> 01:38:41,428 Okay. Looks like the party's over. 1191 01:38:41,598 --> 01:38:44,658 Damn right it is. As long as I'm a county commissioner... 1192 01:38:44,834 --> 01:38:47,701 ...for the great state of Georgia, you two are gonna rot... 1193 01:38:47,871 --> 01:38:50,362 ...in the penitentiary. Cuff him. 1194 01:38:51,608 --> 01:38:52,905 Let them go! 1195 01:38:53,209 --> 01:38:54,972 Let them go! 1196 01:38:55,144 --> 01:38:58,511 Excuse me, Rick Shakely. I think the governor has a statement to make. 1197 01:38:58,681 --> 01:39:00,546 - Well, hot dog. - I do? 1198 01:39:00,717 --> 01:39:03,208 Yes, sir. You wanted to comment on how these boys... 1199 01:39:03,386 --> 01:39:05,684 ...are the heroes for saving Hazzard County. 1200 01:39:05,855 --> 01:39:08,847 - That's right, governor! - Come on, governor! 1201 01:39:10,293 --> 01:39:12,227 Certainly, certainly. 1202 01:39:12,395 --> 01:39:15,990 As you know, I've always been a great friend to the environment. 1203 01:39:16,466 --> 01:39:19,367 And these boys, they're environmental heroes! 1204 01:39:21,137 --> 01:39:25,267 And because they're heroes, you're gonna pardon them for all their crimes? 1205 01:39:28,778 --> 01:39:31,838 Moreover, as governor, I hereby pardon these boys... 1206 01:39:32,015 --> 01:39:35,974 ...of any and all offenses against the great state of Georgia. Go Dogs! 1207 01:39:39,222 --> 01:39:42,885 Governor? I wanna thank you for pardoning me too. 1208 01:39:43,059 --> 01:39:46,119 - Pardon you for what? - For this. 1209 01:39:50,900 --> 01:39:53,391 Oh, what the hell. I pardon him too. 1210 01:39:55,638 --> 01:39:59,199 Here's to Hazzard County's real favorite sons. 1211 01:40:02,712 --> 01:40:05,738 The day had been saved, as they say. 1212 01:40:05,915 --> 01:40:08,577 Hazzard was put back the way it was. 1213 01:40:08,751 --> 01:40:11,481 Boss Hogg had some explaining to do. 1214 01:40:11,654 --> 01:40:14,145 And the Dukes got their farm back and celebrated... 1215 01:40:14,324 --> 01:40:17,691 ... with a good old-fashioned pig-picking barbecue. 1216 01:40:17,860 --> 01:40:20,954 Hey, Billy. Daisy, I think you ought to get up there and sing. 1217 01:40:21,130 --> 01:40:24,861 - Oh, no. I only sing in the shower. - I'll get the water running. 1218 01:40:25,034 --> 01:40:27,468 - Let's get Uncle Jesse to do it. - Good idea. 1219 01:40:27,637 --> 01:40:30,970 Pauline, where's Uncle Jesse? We want him to sing a song. 1220 01:40:31,140 --> 01:40:34,337 I think I might know where he is. 1221 01:40:38,448 --> 01:40:39,710 An apple? 1222 01:40:39,983 --> 01:40:42,850 An apple a day will keep the doctor away, darling. 1223 01:40:43,019 --> 01:40:46,011 Come on, Jesse, they want you to sing. 1224 01:40:46,189 --> 01:40:49,989 - Real refreshing. - They are, aren't they? 1225 01:40:59,936 --> 01:41:01,665 It feels like old times again. 1226 01:41:01,838 --> 01:41:05,535 Yeah, except for now we don't gotta worry about Bo finding out. 1227 01:41:05,708 --> 01:41:09,200 I swear you're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. 1228 01:41:09,379 --> 01:41:12,177 - You're sweet. - Yeah. 1229 01:41:12,348 --> 01:41:14,543 I would really like to give you a bath later. 1230 01:41:14,717 --> 01:41:16,912 Clean you up real nice. Would you like that? 1231 01:41:17,086 --> 01:41:20,283 - I'd like that. - Yeah. Yeah. 1232 01:41:20,456 --> 01:41:24,256 Don't worry about her. She's crazy. 1233 01:41:30,733 --> 01:41:32,291 Hey there, Laurie. 1234 01:41:32,468 --> 01:41:35,528 You forgot to make your delivery this week, Luke Duke. 1235 01:41:36,072 --> 01:41:39,166 - Go, Bo, go. - Luke, you man-whore. 1236 01:41:39,942 --> 01:41:42,536 You get back here, you bastard! 1237 01:41:42,712 --> 01:41:44,145 See y'all later. 1238 01:41:58,227 --> 01:41:59,888 Okay, this is A-camera marker. 1239 01:42:00,063 --> 01:42:03,157 - Actually, she's my cousin. - That don't make a difference to me. 1240 01:42:03,332 --> 01:42:07,325 Hell, long as she's your sister. What the fuck did I just say? 1241 01:42:12,442 --> 01:42:16,242 Don't you know you're not supposed to wear white after Labor Day? 1242 01:42:19,215 --> 01:42:21,308 - Come on, cut that out. - Seann. 1243 01:42:21,484 --> 01:42:23,645 Do I need to mark this thing? 1244 01:42:23,820 --> 01:42:25,185 It's called common markers. 1245 01:42:25,354 --> 01:42:27,720 I wonder if Richard Burton ever had to do that. 1246 01:43:09,799 --> 01:43:13,394 What the fuck? That's the kiss you guys are having? 1247 01:43:13,569 --> 01:43:16,436 What the fuck? I'm a total fucking moron. 1248 01:43:16,606 --> 01:43:19,268 - It gets longer and longer, doesn't it? - Come on. 1249 01:43:19,442 --> 01:43:22,969 How these boys are the heroes for... Oh, my Lord. 1250 01:43:23,146 --> 01:43:26,582 Every time I look at her titties, she loses her line. 1251 01:43:28,618 --> 01:43:31,109 - I love it except for the hair in your eyes. - I know. 1252 01:43:31,287 --> 01:43:33,255 - How's my hair? - Okay. 1253 01:43:33,422 --> 01:43:35,549 How'd you miss that? 1254 01:43:35,825 --> 01:43:39,124 - Gonna take your hands off the wheel? - He showed me his balls. 1255 01:43:39,295 --> 01:43:42,093 Sorry. Okay, okay. We'll do it again. Okay, keep going. 1256 01:43:42,265 --> 01:43:44,165 For your... 1257 01:43:46,102 --> 01:43:48,969 - Don't tell me, it rhymes with "anus. " - Heinous. 1258 01:43:49,138 --> 01:43:51,436 For your heinous crimes. 1259 01:43:51,607 --> 01:43:54,633 Have you been running this around the clock, Uncle Jesse? 1260 01:44:04,554 --> 01:44:08,456 Did I say "shit" or "hell" that time? With "ass" or "dick"? I said "hell"? 1261 01:44:10,193 --> 01:44:13,890 Dang it, a little help. A little help. 1262 01:44:15,198 --> 01:44:17,723 - Cut it. - Cut. 1263 01:44:17,900 --> 01:44:22,997 Come on, be a bro, be a bro. Get it away! Come on. Get it away! 1264 01:44:23,172 --> 01:44:24,867 - Move over. - Hey. 1265 01:44:25,041 --> 01:44:28,306 - There weren't any bananas. - Oh, that's okay. 1266 01:44:29,312 --> 01:44:33,214 - Where's Bo? - To hell with Bo, it's Boo! 1267 01:44:33,382 --> 01:44:34,849 Lunch! 1268 01:44:40,156 --> 01:44:41,919 Thank you very much. 1269 01:44:43,793 --> 01:44:46,887 Look at me, I'm flying. I'm flying! 1270 01:44:47,063 --> 01:44:50,499 Oh, it's so much fun. I'm okay. 1271 01:45:50,500 --> 01:45:53,300 Ripped by: SkyFury 103272