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1
00:00:09,374 --> 00:00:11,934
Living with Elliot
was certainly different.
2
00:00:12,044 --> 00:00:16,071
Every inch of her apartment
was filled with girly stuff.
3
00:00:16,148 --> 00:00:18,708
There were lavender-scented candles...
4
00:00:18,784 --> 00:00:22,948
...curling utensils, pink robes...
5
00:00:23,021 --> 00:00:24,989
...bath salts.
6
00:00:25,090 --> 00:00:29,049
It was awesome.
7
00:00:29,127 --> 00:00:33,257
My first day off in weeks.
Only one thing could make it better.
8
00:00:33,332 --> 00:00:35,357
Cranking up the Toto.
9
00:00:35,434 --> 00:00:40,531
I bless the rains down in Africa
10
00:00:44,276 --> 00:00:47,370
Mango body butter?
11
00:00:50,949 --> 00:00:52,439
Mmm.
12
00:00:59,591 --> 00:01:02,685
Damn it! Always when I'm eating!
13
00:01:02,761 --> 00:01:05,321
Even though it sucks
being paged by an intern,
14
00:01:05,397 --> 00:01:08,457
there's nothing I like more
than riding my scooter, Sasha,
15
00:01:08,534 --> 00:01:12,368
through puddles after a rain,
and here comes a big 'un!
16
00:01:24,149 --> 00:01:25,810
Where was I?
17
00:01:32,958 --> 00:01:36,121
You're not aware of any sort
of odd underground canal system
18
00:01:36,194 --> 00:01:38,025
beneath the hospital, are you?
19
00:01:38,096 --> 00:01:41,429
- I think I saw a manatee.
- Was his name Julian?
20
00:01:41,500 --> 00:01:45,334
- We didn't exchange pleasantries.
- That's Julian.
21
00:01:46,138 --> 00:01:47,662
Watch it, wet paint.
22
00:01:47,739 --> 00:01:51,231
Kelso's starting a new line system
to help people get around.
23
00:01:51,310 --> 00:01:54,279
Green's gonna go to the
smokers' lounge, blue to the ICU,
24
00:01:54,346 --> 00:01:57,509
- yellow to all the exits.
- What's red for?
25
00:01:57,616 --> 00:01:59,447
Sneaker painting.
26
00:01:59,518 --> 00:02:02,078
Ahh! Not gonna happen, pal.
27
00:02:02,187 --> 00:02:07,147
For that one to work, you need to spray
first and then say "sneaker painting. "
28
00:02:07,259 --> 00:02:09,227
Have a good one.
29
00:02:10,929 --> 00:02:14,626
Hey, smart guy. Whatever you do,
don't follow the purple line.
30
00:02:21,940 --> 00:02:25,501
Huh. I never noticed
that door before.
31
00:02:25,611 --> 00:02:28,375
Probably just a trick,
but what if it isn't?
32
00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:30,812
What if it actually leads someplace?
33
00:02:30,882 --> 00:02:33,510
Someplace grand, like Narnia?
34
00:02:59,111 --> 00:03:00,271
Sneaker painting.
35
00:03:05,851 --> 00:03:07,011
Am I right?
36
00:03:08,387 --> 00:03:12,153
So you think it's perfectly OK
to have sex with your first cousin?
37
00:03:12,224 --> 00:03:17,753
Family reunion next month.
I'm going for it. On the coats.
38
00:03:18,697 --> 00:03:23,930
- I didn't know what I was high-fiving.
- Always know what you're high-fiving.
39
00:03:25,537 --> 00:03:28,301
OK, I'm here.
What's the emergency, Keith?
40
00:03:28,407 --> 00:03:30,841
Do you want Mr. Fleming
on unfractionated
41
00:03:30,909 --> 00:03:32,877
or low molecular weight heparin?
42
00:03:32,978 --> 00:03:36,038
They're the exact same thing.
Every doctor here knows that.
43
00:03:36,114 --> 00:03:38,480
- Why would you page me?
- Because I told him to.
44
00:03:38,550 --> 00:03:41,018
And I know what you're thinking,
Dorothy.
45
00:03:41,086 --> 00:03:44,988
Why would I have your intern call you in
on one of your very precious days off
46
00:03:45,057 --> 00:03:47,025
for something so gosh-darn trivial?
47
00:03:47,125 --> 00:03:50,492
But the real question ought to be,
why, when you were an intern,
48
00:03:50,562 --> 00:03:53,292
did you call me in
time after time after time
49
00:03:53,365 --> 00:03:55,663
because your patient's stitch
popped out,
50
00:03:55,734 --> 00:03:58,498
or you couldn't remember
where the cotton balls were,
51
00:03:58,603 --> 00:04:02,266
or, and this was the kicker,
you wanted to go pants shopping
52
00:04:02,340 --> 00:04:04,308
and needed somebody totally honest.
53
00:04:04,409 --> 00:04:09,108
So now, to commemorate the first of many
unnecessary disruptions of your life,
54
00:04:09,181 --> 00:04:12,446
I've invited Laverne's church choir here
55
00:04:12,517 --> 00:04:15,350
to summarize my feelings
in exuberant song.
56
00:04:15,420 --> 00:04:27,028
Payback is a bitch
Payback is a bitch
57
00:04:27,099 --> 00:04:28,828
- You feelin' it?
- I'm feelin' it.
58
00:04:28,900 --> 00:04:30,731
I got it in my leg. It's in my leg.
59
00:04:30,802 --> 00:04:33,464
I can't even stop it.
60
00:04:47,819 --> 00:04:50,344
The worst thing
about going in on your day off
61
00:04:50,422 --> 00:04:52,913
is that it's almost impossible
to get back home.
62
00:04:52,991 --> 00:04:55,289
There's always somebody
who needs help.
63
00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:59,524
That's why I had to wait until the
perfect opportunity to make my break.
64
00:04:59,631 --> 00:05:01,599
Fat guy! Go, go, go!
65
00:05:07,005 --> 00:05:11,271
Dorian, I need you to do the residents'
call schedules for next month.
66
00:05:11,343 --> 00:05:13,402
Sir, I'm not even supposed to be here.
67
00:05:13,478 --> 00:05:17,608
Me neither, son. I was one
of the most promising young shortstops
68
00:05:17,682 --> 00:05:20,048
ever to come out
of Altoona, Pennsylvania.
69
00:05:20,118 --> 00:05:21,608
Then came the Dominicans.
70
00:05:21,686 --> 00:05:25,452
Long story short, calling them all Pepe
was apparently just racist enough
71
00:05:25,557 --> 00:05:28,526
to get me a ban
from the Appalachian Rookie League.
72
00:05:28,627 --> 00:05:31,187
Have the schedules on my desk by lunch.
73
00:05:32,664 --> 00:05:34,154
Damn it!
74
00:05:36,568 --> 00:05:40,732
Aw. Look at them, Turk.
That's gonna be us someday.
75
00:05:40,806 --> 00:05:44,970
How does that not make you nervous? I
mean, what if our kid's out of control?
76
00:05:45,043 --> 00:05:46,874
I was watching Webster last night.
77
00:05:46,945 --> 00:05:51,109
Webster got all into the pancake mix.
I mean all into the pancake mix!
78
00:05:51,183 --> 00:05:54,243
Oh, come on, Turk.
That's a stupid sitcom.
79
00:05:55,620 --> 00:05:58,054
I mean, that's a sitcom.
80
00:05:58,123 --> 00:06:01,354
What if, the second our baby's born,
I start screwing things up?
81
00:06:03,061 --> 00:06:05,291
Oh, my God! Hey, little...
82
00:06:05,363 --> 00:06:06,921
Aw...
83
00:06:16,675 --> 00:06:18,700
Dominoes are crazy.
84
00:06:18,777 --> 00:06:21,439
OK, either the heat
in my office is broken
85
00:06:21,513 --> 00:06:24,539
or I drifted off and fantasized
about Rudy Giuliani again.
86
00:06:24,616 --> 00:06:29,280
Giuliani? He's not even sexy!
Right, baby?
87
00:06:29,354 --> 00:06:32,482
Ay, Rudy, don't stop.
88
00:06:32,557 --> 00:06:34,218
Carla, we're Democrats!
89
00:06:34,292 --> 00:06:38,228
Relax, she's only fantasizing
'cause you don't satisfy her.
90
00:06:38,296 --> 00:06:40,924
Anyhoo, can someone
take Jack for a minute?
91
00:06:40,999 --> 00:06:43,297
- No problem!
- Thank you.
92
00:06:43,368 --> 00:06:45,302
- Come on.
- There you go.
93
00:06:45,370 --> 00:06:46,530
Yes.
94
00:06:46,638 --> 00:06:50,734
See, baby? You have nothing
to worry about. I'm great with kids.
95
00:06:50,809 --> 00:06:54,745
You don't have to check in as a parent
until you teach our son about sports.
96
00:06:54,813 --> 00:06:59,045
And satisfying women. 'Cause I know
how to satisfy a woman, right, baby?
97
00:06:59,117 --> 00:07:00,641
I'm sure you can.
98
00:07:00,719 --> 00:07:03,017
That's what I'm talking about.
99
00:07:03,989 --> 00:07:07,356
Done. And I am outta here.
100
00:07:08,526 --> 00:07:09,891
Damn it!
101
00:07:10,829 --> 00:07:14,458
Keith, you've got to stop paging me
for totally unimportant things.
102
00:07:14,532 --> 00:07:15,692
Oh!
103
00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:20,703
That man's chest cavity is completely
open. I can see his heart beating.
104
00:07:20,772 --> 00:07:23,502
He sneezed
and all his surgical staples popped out.
105
00:07:23,575 --> 00:07:25,475
Good page, Keith, good page!
106
00:07:25,543 --> 00:07:29,411
OK, rocktors... That's my name
for doctors who rock. Next patient.
107
00:07:29,481 --> 00:07:32,541
Since her fellowship,
Elliot loved that her interns
108
00:07:32,617 --> 00:07:34,551
saw her as an endocrinology expert.
109
00:07:34,619 --> 00:07:37,679
Dr. Reid, why would Mr. Baum
develop new onset diabetes
110
00:07:37,756 --> 00:07:39,917
and high blood pressure
simultaneously?
111
00:07:40,025 --> 00:07:43,483
Well, as an endocrinology expert,
in my expert opinion,
112
00:07:43,561 --> 00:07:47,691
both can be expertly explained by an
adenoma causing Cushing's syndrome.
113
00:07:47,766 --> 00:07:49,529
Hate to burst your bubble, Barbie,
114
00:07:49,634 --> 00:07:53,365
but your endocrinology fellowship
lasted all of five days.
115
00:07:53,438 --> 00:07:56,703
Granted, to you,
five days may seem like an eternity,
116
00:07:56,775 --> 00:07:59,505
seeing as it's roughly five times
as long as any
117
00:07:59,577 --> 00:08:01,875
of your pasty relationships
have lasted,
118
00:08:01,947 --> 00:08:04,711
but trust me,
that hardly makes you an expert.
119
00:08:04,816 --> 00:08:07,512
Really? Because you never
went to ass-face school,
120
00:08:07,585 --> 00:08:10,452
but you seem to be
an expert at that. Am I right?
121
00:08:10,522 --> 00:08:11,887
Here's some!
122
00:08:11,990 --> 00:08:15,426
Oh, dear girl!
You're going to high-five that, Dorothy,
123
00:08:15,493 --> 00:08:18,394
right when you'd managed
to get off of my radar screen?
124
00:08:18,463 --> 00:08:21,796
Big mistake. Bi-ig mistake!
125
00:08:21,866 --> 00:08:25,358
I didn't know what I was high-fiving.
I gotta stop doing that!
126
00:08:25,437 --> 00:08:28,929
- Did you eat my Mango body butter?
- No.
127
00:08:29,007 --> 00:08:30,975
I schmeared it on focaccia.
128
00:08:33,645 --> 00:08:36,739
Dr. Kelso, what's up?
129
00:08:36,815 --> 00:08:40,649
I just heard that we're doing our
first ever in-house heart transplant.
130
00:08:40,719 --> 00:08:44,621
I know you'll be objective in choosing
which surgical resident assists,
131
00:08:44,689 --> 00:08:49,251
but I also thought you might enjoy this
commemorative Dr. Kelso bobblehead.
132
00:08:49,327 --> 00:08:50,885
Huh?
133
00:08:50,962 --> 00:08:53,726
Oh, bobbleheads.
134
00:08:53,798 --> 00:08:57,234
You think you're gonna get bored
with them, but you never do.
135
00:08:57,302 --> 00:08:59,270
Bobbly, bobbly, bobbly, bobbly.
136
00:08:59,371 --> 00:09:02,499
Bobbly, bobbly, bobbly,
bobbly, bobbly, bobbly...
137
00:09:02,574 --> 00:09:06,101
- Sir?
- Oh, Turkelton, you're still here.
138
00:09:06,177 --> 00:09:08,805
- Look what someone gave me.
- Sir, I gave you that.
139
00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:13,044
Did you think you'd be the only surgeon
to walk in here and try to bribe me?
140
00:09:18,089 --> 00:09:20,649
Inflatable-five.
141
00:09:20,725 --> 00:09:23,558
Actually, none of you
will be assisting on anything
142
00:09:23,628 --> 00:09:25,926
because we still don't have
a donor heart.
143
00:09:25,997 --> 00:09:29,865
Now, last night, Mr. Bolger here
was declared brain-dead.
144
00:09:29,934 --> 00:09:34,962
But we have to convince his family
to pull the plug and give us his heart.
145
00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:40,205
Whichever one of you Benihana rejects
pulls this off gets the operation.
146
00:09:41,279 --> 00:09:42,644
Go!
147
00:09:58,596 --> 00:10:01,360
I'm going to call you Ming Lee.
148
00:10:04,702 --> 00:10:09,139
My band has decided we're only
singing songs from classic movies now.
149
00:10:09,207 --> 00:10:11,505
Ted, I'm a little busy, OK?
150
00:10:11,576 --> 00:10:15,535
And as soon as I spackle this guy's
chest back together, I'm headed home.
151
00:10:17,982 --> 00:10:20,610
Also, we're no longer called
the Worthless Peons.
152
00:10:20,685 --> 00:10:23,654
We were sued by a Dutch metal band
with the same name.
153
00:10:23,721 --> 00:10:28,681
- We now go by Foghat.
- Again, Ted, busy. OK?
154
00:10:28,793 --> 00:10:33,856
Dr. Reid, what are the possible
cardiac complications to thyrotoxicosis?
155
00:10:33,932 --> 00:10:35,797
Mm... Um...
156
00:10:35,867 --> 00:10:38,028
Hold on.
I just have to blow my nose.
157
00:10:38,103 --> 00:10:41,266
Even though I was happy
for Elliot the endocrinology expert,
158
00:10:41,372 --> 00:10:43,863
I still couldn't figure out
how she knew so much.
159
00:10:43,942 --> 00:10:47,105
Just a steel town girl
on a Saturday night
160
00:10:47,178 --> 00:10:50,204
Looking for the fight of her life
161
00:10:50,281 --> 00:10:54,650
T o answer your question, thyrotoxicosis
can manifest with incessant tachycardia,
162
00:10:54,752 --> 00:10:56,310
leading to a cardiomyopathy.
163
00:10:56,421 --> 00:10:59,049
Locking rhythms
with the beat of her heart
164
00:10:59,124 --> 00:11:02,093
Changing music into light
165
00:11:02,193 --> 00:11:05,219
She has danced into the danger zone
166
00:11:05,296 --> 00:11:09,255
When the dancer becomes the dance
167
00:11:09,367 --> 00:11:12,234
It can cut you like a knife
168
00:11:12,303 --> 00:11:15,329
If the gift becomes the fire
169
00:11:15,406 --> 00:11:20,275
On a wire between will
and what will be
170
00:11:20,345 --> 00:11:24,907
She's a maniac, maniac on the floor
171
00:11:26,317 --> 00:11:31,050
And she's dancing
like she's never danced before
172
00:11:32,524 --> 00:11:37,484
She's a maniac, maniac on the floor
173
00:11:38,563 --> 00:11:43,728
And she's dancing
like she's never danced before
174
00:11:47,338 --> 00:11:52,366
Therefore, Mr. Langley's pancreatitis
is most likely secondary to gallstones.
175
00:11:53,511 --> 00:11:56,810
Wrong-o, Perry! Mr. Langley's
pancreatitis is most likely due
176
00:11:56,881 --> 00:11:59,975
to type I familial hyperlipoproteinemia
as demonstrated
177
00:12:00,051 --> 00:12:02,713
by the eruptive xanthomas
on his Achilles tendon.
178
00:12:02,787 --> 00:12:04,220
Ooh!
179
00:12:04,289 --> 00:12:07,816
Interns, flee, now. Go!
180
00:12:10,728 --> 00:12:14,255
Barbie. Now, there is just no way
you could have known that
181
00:12:14,332 --> 00:12:17,028
off the top
of your straw-covered scarecrow head.
182
00:12:17,101 --> 00:12:21,060
Hold on, I need to take a quick mental
picture of your total humiliation.
183
00:12:21,139 --> 00:12:22,504
- Got it.
- Barbie...
184
00:12:22,607 --> 00:12:25,132
One more with redeye reduc.
185
00:12:25,210 --> 00:12:30,671
There are actually many things
in life that I've yet to figure out,
186
00:12:30,748 --> 00:12:33,444
like why men wear
cell phones on their belt
187
00:12:33,518 --> 00:12:37,682
when they could so easily fit them
in their pocket, mere millimeters away.
188
00:12:37,789 --> 00:12:41,953
Or why, and I'm not complaining,
women wear tube tops
189
00:12:42,060 --> 00:12:45,757
even though every ten seconds
they cause them to do this:.
190
00:12:48,066 --> 00:12:49,397
Yes.
191
00:12:49,467 --> 00:12:51,833
But, of all of my endless queries,
192
00:12:51,936 --> 00:12:54,632
the one thing I damn sure
will figure out, and soon,
193
00:12:54,706 --> 00:12:57,834
is how you keep coming up
with all these fancy-pants answers.
194
00:12:57,909 --> 00:13:02,243
It is, for all intents and purposes,
like they're falling from the sky.
195
00:13:11,823 --> 00:13:15,987
Excuse me! Can anybody else
watch this kid for a second?
196
00:13:21,799 --> 00:13:25,098
She'll be all right.
I wonder what's taking Jordan so long.
197
00:13:25,770 --> 00:13:30,298
Oh, my God!
It's like 130 degrees in here!
198
00:13:31,342 --> 00:13:33,105
Oh!
199
00:13:33,177 --> 00:13:35,805
I have got to get out of here!
200
00:13:40,251 --> 00:13:41,616
Mm.
201
00:13:41,686 --> 00:13:47,318
I think the silicon
in my lips is expanding.
202
00:13:50,561 --> 00:13:54,327
I gotta talk to the Bolgers about their
son's heart, but I can't find them.
203
00:13:54,399 --> 00:13:58,096
- Oh, they're in the doctors' lounge.
- Oh, my God, Laverne, I love you.
204
00:13:58,169 --> 00:14:01,661
If any other surgeon asks about them,
you send 'em someplace else.
205
00:14:01,739 --> 00:14:05,903
The cafeteria, the zoo, I don't care.
I'm going to get my heart!
206
00:14:08,546 --> 00:14:12,710
Is there a Bolger in the house?!
207
00:14:13,685 --> 00:14:16,620
We're the Bolgers. Did our son wake up?
208
00:14:16,688 --> 00:14:18,747
Uh, no.
209
00:14:24,962 --> 00:14:28,728
OK, the coast is clear. Just a few
more steps and you're outta here.
210
00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:29,960
Home, sweet...
211
00:14:30,068 --> 00:14:32,901
J.D., I need to talk to someone.
212
00:14:34,038 --> 00:14:36,598
- Here, take him.
- What?
213
00:14:36,708 --> 00:14:37,868
- I'm not...
- Come on.
214
00:14:37,942 --> 00:14:40,775
Hey, wait! Come on!
I'm doing lines here!
215
00:14:42,714 --> 00:14:46,047
Attention, drug addicts.
Once again, lines of paint.
216
00:14:46,117 --> 00:14:49,211
OK? Line of paint.
217
00:14:49,287 --> 00:14:52,017
- I wanna do the paint.
- You wanna do the paint?
218
00:14:52,090 --> 00:14:54,456
- Mm-hm.
- You can't do worse than I did.
219
00:14:57,962 --> 00:15:00,123
Where the hell are all the surgeons?
220
00:15:03,301 --> 00:15:06,031
Hey, kid.
Have you seen the Bolger family?
221
00:15:06,104 --> 00:15:08,868
No, but I saw a monkey
playing with himself.
222
00:15:09,674 --> 00:15:12,165
Guys, change in plans. Come on.
223
00:15:14,245 --> 00:15:18,944
Anyway, Dr. Reid, our hospital lecture
series is tonight and our psychologist,
224
00:15:19,016 --> 00:15:22,281
Dr. Burk, had to cancel his talk
on fear of public speaking.
225
00:15:22,353 --> 00:15:26,380
Why? Because he's afraid
of speaking in public? Yeah.
226
00:15:26,457 --> 00:15:30,951
No. His depression finally got
the best of him and he hung himself.
227
00:15:31,028 --> 00:15:32,461
It's very sad.
228
00:15:34,132 --> 00:15:38,592
Anyhoo, we need a speaker and Dr. Cox
suggested you'd be the perfect person
229
00:15:38,669 --> 00:15:41,229
for an intensive Q & A on endocrinology.
230
00:15:41,305 --> 00:15:43,398
Be in the classroom at six.
231
00:15:43,474 --> 00:15:48,036
And Barbie, say, if it's cold in there,
you can just borrow my lab coat.
232
00:15:48,112 --> 00:15:51,843
It's super warm
because I lined it with these.
233
00:15:51,916 --> 00:15:53,747
Ta-da!
234
00:15:56,554 --> 00:15:59,318
Listen, I know this is hard to face,
235
00:15:59,390 --> 00:16:02,757
but for all intents and purposes,
your son is gone.
236
00:16:03,995 --> 00:16:07,487
Trust me, donating his heart
so another man can live
237
00:16:07,565 --> 00:16:11,661
would be one of the most rewarding
decisions you could ever make.
238
00:16:11,736 --> 00:16:14,102
We're just not sure, Dr. Turk.
239
00:16:14,172 --> 00:16:17,005
When a career-making opportunity
is slipping away,
240
00:16:17,074 --> 00:16:21,101
even a doctor can succumb
to one of the basest human impulses.
241
00:16:21,179 --> 00:16:23,079
You know, I've donated an organ.
242
00:16:23,147 --> 00:16:24,512
They can lie.
243
00:16:24,615 --> 00:16:27,743
Yeah. See, my buddy, he was sick.
244
00:16:27,819 --> 00:16:31,277
He was really, really sick,
and so I gave him one of my kidneys.
245
00:16:31,355 --> 00:16:34,051
But my son has only one heart.
246
00:16:34,125 --> 00:16:36,093
That's true. That's true.
247
00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:42,099
But, you see, a short time after that,
I donated my other kidney.
248
00:16:42,166 --> 00:16:43,724
Then you'd be dead.
249
00:16:43,801 --> 00:16:47,532
But, Mr. Bolger, if you'd just
let me finish, with all due respect.
250
00:16:47,605 --> 00:16:51,371
See, right after the procedure,
I received a new kidney.
251
00:16:51,442 --> 00:16:55,344
So a man as healthy-looking as you
is living on one donated kidney?
252
00:16:55,413 --> 00:16:57,313
No.
253
00:16:57,381 --> 00:17:00,009
You see, not long after that,
254
00:17:00,084 --> 00:17:02,450
I received my second donated kidney.
255
00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:05,216
Dr. Turk, you're standing here
talking to us
256
00:17:05,289 --> 00:17:08,053
with two kidneys
neither of which is yours?
257
00:17:08,125 --> 00:17:10,025
Oh, no.
258
00:17:10,094 --> 00:17:12,187
I have since donated one of those.
259
00:17:12,864 --> 00:17:16,823
Yeah, you see, Mr. Bolger, Mrs. Bolger,
260
00:17:16,901 --> 00:17:19,631
I've donated three kidneys.
261
00:17:20,605 --> 00:17:22,573
We're gonna check on our son.
262
00:17:27,979 --> 00:17:31,346
J.D., I have to admit this
to somebody:. I don't like kids!
263
00:17:31,449 --> 00:17:33,940
What? You're the most
maternal person I know.
264
00:17:34,018 --> 00:17:37,579
I'm a nurse! I'm trained to fake it.
I don't see what's so adorable.
265
00:17:37,688 --> 00:17:40,555
"You made a poopie!"
I'm supposed to be impressed?
266
00:17:40,625 --> 00:17:42,786
There's a monkey
at the zoo who can do that.
267
00:17:42,894 --> 00:17:44,919
When he's not
playing with himself.
268
00:17:44,996 --> 00:17:47,157
If you don't want to have a baby, don't.
269
00:17:47,231 --> 00:17:50,689
But I want to have a child with Turk
more than anything in the world.
270
00:17:50,768 --> 00:17:54,260
It's crazy, but I'm a girl.
That's how we roll. What am I gonna do?
271
00:17:54,338 --> 00:17:56,602
I'm supposed to be the brave one.
272
00:17:56,674 --> 00:17:58,574
Dude, you gotta help me out.
273
00:17:58,643 --> 00:18:01,407
A hospital can sometimes
feel like a magical place,
274
00:18:01,479 --> 00:18:05,142
where people's hopes and dreams
are often far from ordinary.
275
00:18:06,417 --> 00:18:11,878
Whether they're looking
for brains, a heart or courage.
276
00:18:12,757 --> 00:18:15,920
As for me, I was just gonna
keep on following that yellow line,
277
00:18:15,993 --> 00:18:18,928
and hope I'd eventually get back home.
278
00:18:39,417 --> 00:18:41,442
- So how was the zoo?
- It was awesome.
279
00:18:41,519 --> 00:18:45,649
They had lions and tigers and bears.
Oh, my!
280
00:18:45,723 --> 00:18:48,886
Dude, it was awful.
I couldn't stop lying to them.
281
00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:51,394
I'm a surgeon. I only have two moves.
282
00:18:51,462 --> 00:18:54,954
If surgery goes well,
the fake modest nod and wink.
283
00:18:56,167 --> 00:18:58,397
Now, if surgery goes bad
and the guy dies,
284
00:18:58,469 --> 00:19:01,131
there's always
the head-shake, sad walk-away.
285
00:19:01,205 --> 00:19:04,572
Turk, it's my day off.
Toto and I are going home.
286
00:19:04,642 --> 00:19:05,973
Fine!
287
00:19:09,981 --> 00:19:11,949
OK, I'll help.
288
00:19:13,117 --> 00:19:16,143
- That your head-shake, sad walk-away?
- Yes, it was.
289
00:19:16,220 --> 00:19:17,881
- It's quite good.
- Thank you.
290
00:19:17,955 --> 00:19:20,116
How do I tell them to let their son go?
291
00:19:20,191 --> 00:19:22,523
Try and imagine
what they're going through.
292
00:19:22,593 --> 00:19:25,255
I think about what it's gonna be like
when you die.
293
00:19:25,329 --> 00:19:27,661
You think I'm going first
due to my diabetes.
294
00:19:27,732 --> 00:19:29,563
Right. Where
do we meet up in heaven?
295
00:19:29,634 --> 00:19:32,364
At the milk shake pool
on the lesbian cloud.
296
00:19:32,436 --> 00:19:36,395
That's right. I'll see you there,
player! I love religion.
297
00:19:36,474 --> 00:19:38,738
If someone tried to pull the plug on you
298
00:19:38,809 --> 00:19:41,369
without being honest,
know where they'd end up?
299
00:19:41,445 --> 00:19:42,810
Hell, watching The View.
300
00:19:42,913 --> 00:19:45,746
Next to the super-high,
unreachable cupcake table.
301
00:19:46,517 --> 00:19:48,883
Mm. Frosting.
302
00:19:50,421 --> 00:19:53,049
After trying to get out
of the hospital vertically,
303
00:19:53,124 --> 00:19:57,060
I decided to go the horizontal route,
hiding in a body bag.
304
00:19:57,995 --> 00:20:00,486
Can you press "lobby" please?
305
00:20:01,866 --> 00:20:03,925
Ow! Ow! Ow!
306
00:20:04,001 --> 00:20:06,265
Doug! Why are you hitting me?
307
00:20:06,337 --> 00:20:09,204
I thought you were a dead guy,
coming back to life!
308
00:20:09,273 --> 00:20:13,232
- Then why were you hitting me?
- Dead people should be dead!
309
00:20:13,310 --> 00:20:15,278
- There you are! Come on.
- No, no!
310
00:20:15,346 --> 00:20:18,509
Elliot, I'm not even supposed
to be here today! I'm going home!
311
00:20:19,550 --> 00:20:22,314
So if I understand correctly,
you left my only child
312
00:20:22,420 --> 00:20:25,389
with a creepy, borderline psychotic
who hates everyone.
313
00:20:25,456 --> 00:20:27,754
That's different
from leaving him with you?
314
00:20:27,825 --> 00:20:31,386
- I have freckles.
- Oil can. Oil can!
315
00:20:33,831 --> 00:20:36,766
- Thank you.
- Hey, you. Where's my son?
316
00:20:36,834 --> 00:20:39,200
He's playing with the birds
out on the ledge.
317
00:20:39,303 --> 00:20:41,237
- What?!
- I'm kidding!
318
00:20:41,305 --> 00:20:43,330
Come on. He's green.
319
00:20:49,714 --> 00:20:53,172
You idiot. To be continued. Come on.
320
00:20:53,250 --> 00:20:55,343
The little nipper
got ahold of a paint gun
321
00:20:55,419 --> 00:20:58,115
when I was painting this line
to the smokers' lounge.
322
00:20:58,189 --> 00:21:01,090
Thanks to him,
I only got halfway down.
323
00:21:03,527 --> 00:21:07,759
You look familiar.
You ever play ball in Pennsylvania?
324
00:21:09,166 --> 00:21:10,929
Pepe?
325
00:21:23,547 --> 00:21:26,641
Mr. Bolger, look,
before you throw me out of here...
326
00:21:27,685 --> 00:21:31,052
I just want to apologize about earlier.
327
00:21:31,155 --> 00:21:33,089
I don't know what I was thinking.
328
00:21:33,157 --> 00:21:35,785
But rest assured, from here on out,
329
00:21:35,860 --> 00:21:39,296
whatever you ask me,
I'll be completely honest with you.
330
00:21:39,363 --> 00:21:42,127
- Really?
- On my life.
331
00:21:42,199 --> 00:21:46,659
Do you shave your head because you like
the way it looks or you're going bald?
332
00:21:47,505 --> 00:21:49,029
Bald.
333
00:21:50,074 --> 00:21:51,507
OK, next question.
334
00:21:51,575 --> 00:21:54,874
Those topical treatments...
I wasn't completely functional.
335
00:21:54,945 --> 00:21:58,608
Dr. Turk, why are
all the surgical residents
336
00:21:58,682 --> 00:22:01,810
being so relentless
about my son's heart?
337
00:22:01,886 --> 00:22:05,583
Because whichever one of us
convinces you to pull the plug
338
00:22:05,656 --> 00:22:10,616
and donate his heart
gets to assist in the transplant.
339
00:22:10,694 --> 00:22:13,857
And that is a huge boost
for any young surgeon's career.
340
00:22:13,964 --> 00:22:16,489
You're talking about my son here.
341
00:22:17,501 --> 00:22:19,469
And you don't even know him.
342
00:22:20,538 --> 00:22:21,971
What's his name?
343
00:22:23,774 --> 00:22:25,332
Ray.
344
00:22:26,610 --> 00:22:28,475
How you doing, Ray?
345
00:22:32,183 --> 00:22:34,674
Now ask me if I think
it's the right thing to do,
346
00:22:34,752 --> 00:22:37,846
even if you request
that I don't assist.
347
00:22:39,423 --> 00:22:40,583
Do you?
348
00:22:42,259 --> 00:22:43,988
Yes.
349
00:22:45,429 --> 00:22:46,396
I do.
350
00:22:48,532 --> 00:22:50,659
I'm really sorry.
351
00:22:59,577 --> 00:23:03,536
- You gotta get me outta this.
- Are you with me, Dr. Dorian?
352
00:23:03,614 --> 00:23:06,447
Sorry. I'm trying to be careful
about what I high-five.
353
00:23:06,517 --> 00:23:10,146
Oh, so you don't think it was
a good thing that slavery was abolished.
354
00:23:10,221 --> 00:23:12,052
Unbelievable.
355
00:23:12,122 --> 00:23:14,590
How would that subject even come up?
356
00:23:14,658 --> 00:23:16,956
J.D., there is no way
I'm gonna pull this off!
357
00:23:17,027 --> 00:23:20,554
I'm going to have a roomful
of specialists firing questions at me.
358
00:23:20,631 --> 00:23:22,963
I'm gonna be a bigger fraud
than Barry Bonds!
359
00:23:23,033 --> 00:23:26,469
You know he's an athlete of some kind.
Just say something general.
360
00:23:26,537 --> 00:23:30,029
Still, I love it when Bonds wins
at the game that he plays.
361
00:23:30,808 --> 00:23:33,174
You know how people
become specialists?
362
00:23:33,244 --> 00:23:36,213
They obsess about the material
over and over again
363
00:23:36,313 --> 00:23:38,178
until it's lodged in their brains.
364
00:23:38,249 --> 00:23:40,774
That's exactly
what you've been doing. Watch.
365
00:23:40,851 --> 00:23:43,786
Where's the closest page
you've hidden around here?
366
00:23:46,390 --> 00:23:50,224
I knew I felt some Scotch tape
on my treasure trail.
367
00:23:50,294 --> 00:23:51,454
All right, look.
368
00:23:51,562 --> 00:23:54,588
What's the leading differential
in an obese woman
369
00:23:54,665 --> 00:23:57,099
suffering from amenorrhea
and hirsutism?
370
00:23:57,167 --> 00:24:00,933
Polycystic ovaries.
Oh, my God. I knew it! Up here!
371
00:24:02,806 --> 00:24:05,536
Thought you weren't high-fiving.
372
00:24:05,609 --> 00:24:08,476
Well, with her... We'll talk later.
373
00:24:12,583 --> 00:24:14,050
Dr. Cox?
374
00:24:15,286 --> 00:24:17,948
Pay no attention
to the man behind the curtain.
375
00:24:20,224 --> 00:24:22,658
Why aren't you freaking out?
Look at him.
376
00:24:22,726 --> 00:24:24,694
Your kid's all green and slimy.
377
00:24:24,795 --> 00:24:27,355
I suppose it's because,
when Jordan was pregnant,
378
00:24:27,431 --> 00:24:29,899
I mentally prepared myself
for her giving birth
379
00:24:29,967 --> 00:24:32,458
to something green and... slimy.
380
00:24:32,536 --> 00:24:36,404
- Where is Jordan anyway?
- The wicked witch of the east wing?
381
00:24:36,473 --> 00:24:40,170
Last I saw, she was trying
to turn the heat down in her office.
382
00:24:44,748 --> 00:24:46,272
Help me!
383
00:24:46,350 --> 00:24:49,808
Anyone! Help! I'm melting!
384
00:24:49,887 --> 00:24:54,347
Help me! I'm melting... melting...
385
00:24:54,425 --> 00:24:55,756
Oh!
386
00:24:57,361 --> 00:25:00,091
So he's green.
Don't beat yourself up, Carla.
387
00:25:00,164 --> 00:25:02,997
Come on. So far, on my watch,
he's gotten stitches,
388
00:25:03,067 --> 00:25:06,036
cut his own hair
and eaten over four dollars in change.
389
00:25:06,704 --> 00:25:09,537
Honestly, if I ever need
to feed the parking meter,
390
00:25:09,606 --> 00:25:12,166
I just check the diaper, don't I?
391
00:25:12,276 --> 00:25:14,574
You don't understand.
392
00:25:14,645 --> 00:25:17,341
I didn't dump him on the janitor
because I was busy.
393
00:25:17,414 --> 00:25:20,042
I dumped him
because he was working my last nerve
394
00:25:20,117 --> 00:25:23,052
and I wanted to smush his face.
395
00:25:23,120 --> 00:25:25,179
I'm not meant for this.
396
00:25:25,255 --> 00:25:28,952
Carla, look at me and Jordan.
You know how we hate everyone?
397
00:25:29,026 --> 00:25:30,493
Yeah.
398
00:25:30,561 --> 00:25:32,688
Well, that goes doubly for children.
399
00:25:32,763 --> 00:25:35,596
It's true. They're loud,
you can't understand them,
400
00:25:35,666 --> 00:25:37,429
they're like tiny cab drivers.
401
00:25:39,803 --> 00:25:44,900
But trust me,
when you do have your own kid,
402
00:25:44,975 --> 00:25:46,738
you won't feel that way.
403
00:25:47,411 --> 00:25:49,311
Yeah? What'll be different?
404
00:25:51,448 --> 00:25:52,938
He'll be yours.
405
00:26:03,427 --> 00:26:05,122
Sir, I was watching that.
406
00:26:05,195 --> 00:26:07,356
Why don't I just tell you what happened?
407
00:26:07,464 --> 00:26:10,695
Philip gets Webster the dog
despite George's objections.
408
00:26:10,768 --> 00:26:12,292
It was good. Now, on your feet.
409
00:26:12,369 --> 00:26:15,304
They need you in the OR
to assist on the heart transplant.
410
00:26:16,907 --> 00:26:18,465
The Bolgers said yes?
411
00:26:18,575 --> 00:26:22,238
They took their son
off life support an hour ago.
412
00:26:22,312 --> 00:26:24,473
Mr. Bolger wanted you to have this.
413
00:26:26,650 --> 00:26:29,175
- His son's driver's license?
- Turn it over.
414
00:26:29,253 --> 00:26:33,986
Every so often, a wizard comes along
and tells you what you need to hear.
415
00:26:34,058 --> 00:26:37,118
Seems like you had a heart all along.
416
00:26:40,364 --> 00:26:42,195
- Superior vena cava?
- Right.
417
00:26:42,266 --> 00:26:43,358
Yes!
418
00:26:43,434 --> 00:26:46,995
See? You had the brains all along.
419
00:26:49,406 --> 00:26:50,634
Trust me, Carla.
420
00:26:50,707 --> 00:26:52,868
When you do have your own kid,
421
00:26:52,976 --> 00:26:56,844
you're gonna find you had
the courage to be a parent all along.
422
00:26:59,883 --> 00:27:00,850
Thank you.
423
00:27:08,092 --> 00:27:10,856
Somewhere
424
00:27:10,961 --> 00:27:14,089
Over the rainbow
425
00:27:15,165 --> 00:27:17,690
Way up high
426
00:27:19,436 --> 00:27:24,999
There's a land that I've heard of
427
00:27:25,075 --> 00:27:30,240
Once in a lullaby
428
00:27:31,014 --> 00:27:33,073
Hi-hi-high
429
00:27:33,150 --> 00:27:36,278
Someday I'll wish upon a star
430
00:27:36,353 --> 00:27:40,517
Wake up where the clouds
are far behind
431
00:27:42,025 --> 00:27:44,550
Me
432
00:27:44,628 --> 00:27:47,597
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
433
00:27:47,664 --> 00:27:50,132
High above the chimney tops
434
00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:56,105
That's where you'll find me
435
00:27:56,173 --> 00:27:58,937
Somewhere
436
00:27:59,009 --> 00:28:03,139
Over the rainbow
437
00:28:03,213 --> 00:28:06,114
Blue birds fly
438
00:28:07,484 --> 00:28:13,047
Birds fly over the rainbow
439
00:28:13,123 --> 00:28:16,957
Why then, oh, why can't I?
440
00:28:17,027 --> 00:28:19,495
- Dorothy, you're going home, are you?
- Yup.
441
00:28:19,563 --> 00:28:21,087
Hi-hi-high
442
00:28:21,165 --> 00:28:26,933
If happy little blue birds fly
beyond the rainbow
443
00:28:27,004 --> 00:28:30,337
Why, oh, why
444
00:28:30,407 --> 00:28:35,242
Can't I?
35966
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