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[J.D.] Since my scooter was in the shop,I didn't know how I'd get to work,
2
00:00:06,506 --> 00:00:09,270
but luckily, my neighbor,Ronald, lent me his ride.
3
00:00:10,243 --> 00:00:11,801
Ronald's six.
4
00:00:11,911 --> 00:00:15,574
But I still got there in time to stealthe guard's Arts & Leisure section.
5
00:00:15,648 --> 00:00:17,582
Hello!
6
00:00:17,917 --> 00:00:22,081
Around here, everyone hassome sort of morning ritual.
7
00:00:22,155 --> 00:00:26,592
Getting help on the word jumble fromyour dyslexic tracheotomy patient...
8
00:00:26,659 --> 00:00:28,388
T-P-l-P-O-E.
9
00:00:28,461 --> 00:00:30,986
[Gasps] Pot pie.
10
00:00:31,064 --> 00:00:34,158
Save your voice, Marsha. Mmm. Save it.
11
00:00:37,637 --> 00:00:39,502
[Squeaks]
12
00:00:39,572 --> 00:00:43,531
[J.D.] Cursing out an innocent orderlyover a stolen physical therapy tub...
13
00:00:43,643 --> 00:00:47,272
Damn it, you better find it!
Physical therapy tubs don't disappear!
14
00:00:47,347 --> 00:00:49,815
[Squeaking]
15
00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:53,751
Or, for some, just a relaxingafternoon soak on the roof.
16
00:00:55,922 --> 00:00:59,688
Oh, come on. Let me in.
This totally covers my boys.
17
00:01:03,029 --> 00:01:08,296
Try and get in here in that thing, I'll
give you a four-story atomic wedgie.
18
00:01:08,368 --> 00:01:09,733
[Watch beeps]
19
00:01:15,775 --> 00:01:17,140
[Screams] My eyes!
20
00:01:19,612 --> 00:01:21,773
- [Crashing]
- [J.D. Screams]
21
00:01:24,150 --> 00:01:25,640
[J.D.] Yeah, it hurt.
22
00:01:25,718 --> 00:01:28,380
But when you accept
the keys to the hog,
23
00:01:28,455 --> 00:01:32,152
you become a lifetime member
of the danger club.
24
00:01:32,225 --> 00:01:34,659
Excuse me, fine ladies,
25
00:01:36,496 --> 00:01:38,396
but I've got lives to save.
26
00:01:40,366 --> 00:01:43,267
- Oh! Ronald's gonna be mad.
- He's six.
27
00:01:43,336 --> 00:01:46,499
- What's he gonna do? Kick my ass?
- Again?
28
00:01:47,073 --> 00:01:50,236
Check this chart. Guy says
he's been in pain for three months.
29
00:01:50,343 --> 00:01:52,311
For doctors, pain is complicated.
30
00:01:52,412 --> 00:01:55,904
Every patient handles it differently,depending on their race...
31
00:01:55,982 --> 00:01:57,279
Does what hurt?
32
00:01:57,350 --> 00:01:58,510
... gender...
33
00:01:58,618 --> 00:02:01,178
Ow! I just bit the inside of my lip.
34
00:02:01,254 --> 00:02:04,781
Nothing has ever hurt so badly!
35
00:02:04,858 --> 00:02:06,621
... or even their sex life.
36
00:02:06,693 --> 00:02:09,594
Oh, yeah! That feels good!
37
00:02:09,662 --> 00:02:12,893
Since there's no way to truly gaugehow much pain someone's in,
38
00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:14,991
we have to rely on an archaic chart.
39
00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:18,629
Mr. Peele, you're about a seven
on the pain chart.
40
00:02:24,444 --> 00:02:25,877
Yep, you're a seven.
41
00:02:25,945 --> 00:02:27,469
What's a 10?
42
00:02:27,547 --> 00:02:30,914
[Screaming]
43
00:02:33,253 --> 00:02:34,550
That's a 10.
44
00:02:37,624 --> 00:02:41,082
# I can't do thisall on my own
45
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:44,528
# No, I knowI'm no Superman
46
00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:49,635
# I'm no Superman #
47
00:02:53,573 --> 00:02:54,835
[J.D.] After four years,
48
00:02:54,908 --> 00:02:58,537
I'm comfortable helping myselfto the nurses' muffin basket.
49
00:03:03,783 --> 00:03:07,344
Blueberry-cran-carrot-zucchinipoppy-seed-chocolate-chip.
50
00:03:07,420 --> 00:03:08,978
All right, everybody.
51
00:03:09,055 --> 00:03:12,582
Last one here has to do
a double shift this weekend!
52
00:03:16,696 --> 00:03:18,561
Keith, you just lost your weekend.
53
00:03:18,631 --> 00:03:20,599
What? I totally beat Lisa!
54
00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:22,600
Call that androgynous husband
55
00:03:22,669 --> 00:03:25,001
and tell him or her
you're mine this weekend.
56
00:03:25,071 --> 00:03:27,039
But I feel like I edged out James.
57
00:03:27,106 --> 00:03:29,404
We're not clear on the ground rules.
58
00:03:29,475 --> 00:03:32,205
The last one to touch my face.
I'm not gonna like that.
59
00:03:32,278 --> 00:03:34,838
The last one to touch my bot...
No, that's illegal.
60
00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:37,473
I'll just e-mail everyone.
That's what I'll do.
61
00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:39,916
In this day, that's what you do.
OK, over here.
62
00:03:40,019 --> 00:03:43,648
Guys, Mr. Jenkins spent all night
without being treated.
63
00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:45,953
Now, I know he's homeless
64
00:03:46,025 --> 00:03:48,186
and smells like
an obese man's two-sie.
65
00:03:48,261 --> 00:03:50,752
- Hey!
- Sorry, thought you were dozing.
66
00:03:50,830 --> 00:03:56,291
The thing is, it doesn't matter if he's
homeless or some senile racist...
67
00:03:56,369 --> 00:03:59,634
- Which people do I hate again?
- Immigrants, Mr. Bursick.
68
00:03:59,706 --> 00:04:01,173
You hate all immigrants.
69
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:04,301
- And why do I hate...?
- I don't have time, Mr. Bursick.
70
00:04:05,178 --> 00:04:07,408
Guys, if I give you a patient,
71
00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:09,744
I expect you to work
your butts off for him.
72
00:04:09,816 --> 00:04:13,479
And P.S.,
Mr. Jenkins is a Vietnam vet.
73
00:04:13,553 --> 00:04:18,047
So let's take care of him
like he took care of our nation.
74
00:04:18,124 --> 00:04:19,853
Get out of here!
75
00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:24,693
That's how you light a fire
under their butts. Some inspiration!
76
00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:28,996
Too much talking, too much talking,
too much talking, too much talking.
77
00:04:29,068 --> 00:04:34,028
Why did you order a BMP test
on my patient, Mrs. Wilk, last night?
78
00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:36,769
- Because she's my patient.
- Interesting,
79
00:04:36,843 --> 00:04:40,802
- seeing as I admitted her.
- And I treated her last night.
80
00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:46,147
- Dr. Dorian, why do I hate all...?
- They're stealing all of our jobs.
81
00:04:46,219 --> 00:04:48,710
Stealing all of our jobs.
82
00:04:48,788 --> 00:04:51,552
Perry, we spent an equal
amount of time with Mrs. Wilk.
83
00:04:51,658 --> 00:04:54,218
Seeing as we're both attendings,
i.e. "equals,"
84
00:04:54,327 --> 00:04:57,296
why don't we let her decide
who her doctor is, huh?
85
00:04:57,397 --> 00:05:02,460
Or we could skip the day trip
to Unnecessary-land,
86
00:05:02,535 --> 00:05:07,268
and instead, simply concede
that Mrs. Wilk is my patient
87
00:05:07,340 --> 00:05:10,707
and that, while we are both attendings,
we are in no way equals.
88
00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:16,476
We are, in fact, not equals.
We are... hmm, unequals.
89
00:05:17,850 --> 00:05:21,081
- I choose Dr. Dorian.
- Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
90
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:25,113
I don't even believe it!
I don't believe it-lieve it-lieve it!
91
00:05:25,191 --> 00:05:27,056
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
92
00:05:27,126 --> 00:05:29,822
Yes! I'm shaking!
Look at this! It's crazy-talk!
93
00:05:29,896 --> 00:05:32,421
He played hearts with me all night.
94
00:05:32,498 --> 00:05:34,125
[Moans]
95
00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,327
You're a very strange man,
aren't you?
96
00:05:36,402 --> 00:05:38,131
I was a preemie.
97
00:05:39,939 --> 00:05:41,099
[Whimpering]
98
00:05:42,041 --> 00:05:43,770
Mr. Peele, I have run every test,
99
00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:46,505
and I cannot find any medical reason
for your pain.
100
00:05:46,579 --> 00:05:47,876
[Groans loudly]
101
00:05:47,947 --> 00:05:52,043
[J.D.] Then Elliot did what every gooddoctor does when they're truly stumped.
102
00:05:52,118 --> 00:05:54,882
- She pawned him off.
- I've called a surgical consult.
103
00:05:54,954 --> 00:05:58,651
- [Groans]
- Help has arrived! Help has arrived.
104
00:05:58,725 --> 00:06:00,215
Turkelton.
105
00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:04,252
And then Turk said what every surgeonsays when he's not sure what to do.
106
00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:06,695
Hmm. Mind if I slice you open?
107
00:06:06,766 --> 00:06:09,257
[Both scream]
108
00:06:09,335 --> 00:06:10,768
Uncool!
109
00:06:12,572 --> 00:06:14,506
OK, listen up, everyone!
110
00:06:14,574 --> 00:06:19,910
I'm sure you all got the flier I made
reminding everyone of the staff picture.
111
00:06:19,979 --> 00:06:21,640
I need to know by a show of hands
112
00:06:21,714 --> 00:06:24,239
how many of you aren't
gonna be able to make it.
113
00:06:24,784 --> 00:06:27,617
Oh, come on!
114
00:06:27,687 --> 00:06:31,020
Aren't you guys embarrassed
by our last three staff pictures?
115
00:06:38,030 --> 00:06:43,468
Laverne, I'm gonna need a little of your
church enthusiasm to help sell this.
116
00:06:45,638 --> 00:06:48,163
Damn it, everyone!
We are a family!
117
00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:50,072
A family, people!
118
00:06:50,143 --> 00:06:54,079
- And I know we love each other.
- Love's all we've got!
119
00:06:54,147 --> 00:06:58,914
So can't we just take 10 minutes
from our day to take a real staff photo?
120
00:06:59,018 --> 00:07:01,043
# Yes, we can!
121
00:07:01,721 --> 00:07:04,281
# Yes, we can! #
122
00:07:04,390 --> 00:07:07,848
- Tambourine's a little much.
- Carla, I don't photograph well.
123
00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:10,828
On my driver's license,
I look like Gary Busey.
124
00:07:11,831 --> 00:07:14,732
They say the same thing about me.
125
00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:18,632
See ya later, Elliot.
126
00:07:18,704 --> 00:07:22,333
I am gonna let Big Bob here
give the first excuse.
127
00:07:22,408 --> 00:07:26,344
- Blah, blah, blah. I'm not doing it.
- I'm caught on his collar!
128
00:07:26,412 --> 00:07:29,176
This picture is happening!
129
00:07:29,816 --> 00:07:30,874
No, it's not.
130
00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:32,850
Oh, what do you know, mop jock?
131
00:07:32,919 --> 00:07:34,944
I've predicted a couple things:
132
00:07:35,021 --> 00:07:38,286
The kitchen fire of '97,
the kitchen fire of '98,
133
00:07:38,357 --> 00:07:40,416
the arson conviction
of Luis the cook,
134
00:07:40,493 --> 00:07:44,520
and the termination of the hospital's
"Convicts-to-Cooks" program.
135
00:07:44,597 --> 00:07:47,327
The bottom line, not gonna happen.
136
00:07:47,934 --> 00:07:52,701
# Not gonna happen!No, not gonna happen!
137
00:07:52,772 --> 00:07:54,899
# Not gonna happ...
138
00:07:55,541 --> 00:07:59,375
By the way, I, uh...
I won't be at the picture either.
139
00:08:00,046 --> 00:08:03,812
You'll be there.
You'll all be there.
140
00:08:04,951 --> 00:08:06,009
Hello!
141
00:08:06,085 --> 00:08:10,044
If you're wondering what a "Thank you
for being my doctor" card looks like,
142
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:12,681
it looks a little something like this.
143
00:08:12,758 --> 00:08:15,226
"Happy anniversary, gals"?
144
00:08:15,294 --> 00:08:18,457
Oops. This one's for my Aunt Judy
and her lady friend.
145
00:08:18,531 --> 00:08:20,897
- Must've grabbed the wrong card.
- Newbie...
146
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:24,697
Oh, right, your imaginary warning light.
Don't be mad, Perry.
147
00:08:24,770 --> 00:08:27,136
This day was bound to come.
I've studied you.
148
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,868
I've taken your best qualities
and my best,
149
00:08:29,942 --> 00:08:32,775
and I've combined them
into something even better.
150
00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:35,905
Much the way that iced tea
and lemonade were joined
151
00:08:35,982 --> 00:08:37,677
to become an Arnold Palmer.
152
00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:40,913
Incidentally, has anyone ever
done less to become famous?
153
00:08:40,987 --> 00:08:43,751
I mean, "Yay for me!
I mixed two drinks together."
154
00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:46,120
Arnold Palmer is a golfer.
155
00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:50,822
I'm sure he has lots of hobbies, Perry.
The man's a drink mogul. "Dear..."
156
00:08:50,897 --> 00:08:53,195
[J.D.] In a hospital,even the best of moods
157
00:08:53,266 --> 00:08:56,360
can be ruined simplyby somebody handing you a chart.
158
00:08:59,572 --> 00:09:01,437
Do you have any family, Mrs. Wilk?
159
00:09:01,507 --> 00:09:06,604
No. I was married twice.
Divorced one, the other died.
160
00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:08,237
Wrong one died.
161
00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:14,242
Look, Mrs. Wilk, you have something
called systemic amyloidosis.
162
00:09:14,353 --> 00:09:18,915
Now, it's in your liver now, but it'll
eventually shut down all your organs.
163
00:09:18,991 --> 00:09:23,928
There is a treatment,
but it's very invasive and, at best,
164
00:09:23,996 --> 00:09:26,965
it'll just give you a little more time.
165
00:09:30,169 --> 00:09:33,536
- Well, I've had a great life, so...
- Say no more.
166
00:09:34,607 --> 00:09:36,905
I'm gonna take amazing care of you.
167
00:09:37,743 --> 00:09:39,040
OK.
168
00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:42,643
- How's it going today?
- Crappy.
169
00:09:42,748 --> 00:09:45,239
I had to tell an old lady
she's dying. You?
170
00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:48,185
OK. Elliot turfed this
chronic pain patient to me.
171
00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:51,712
I have no idea what's wrong,
so I have to do exploratory surgery.
172
00:09:51,791 --> 00:09:54,885
[J.D.] I always wondered whatexploratory surgery was like.
173
00:09:55,528 --> 00:09:57,689
I've made the first incision.
174
00:09:57,797 --> 00:09:59,492
I'm going in.
175
00:10:00,866 --> 00:10:03,027
- [Grunting]
- [Squishy sounds]
176
00:10:06,372 --> 00:10:08,272
Nurse, hat!
177
00:10:10,242 --> 00:10:13,700
Colon. Why'd it have to be the colon?
178
00:10:17,984 --> 00:10:20,714
Removing the golden tumor.
179
00:10:22,888 --> 00:10:25,413
[Shouting]
180
00:10:31,197 --> 00:10:32,858
Ladies...
181
00:10:36,235 --> 00:10:37,896
They knew the risks.
182
00:10:38,904 --> 00:10:41,134
Watch out for colon darts.
183
00:10:41,207 --> 00:10:42,572
Where's the donut truck?
184
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:45,008
I got paged there was
a donut truck out here.
185
00:10:45,077 --> 00:10:47,307
I got paged there was a handbag sale.
186
00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:49,610
Where's the booby-touching booth?
187
00:10:49,682 --> 00:10:53,413
Weird. Like everyone was lured
by the thing they want most.
188
00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:56,250
Hey, you're not getting your ass kicked.
189
00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:58,290
Hold the phone! Look!
190
00:10:58,758 --> 00:11:00,316
Bleachers!
191
00:11:00,426 --> 00:11:02,053
Ladder!
192
00:11:02,128 --> 00:11:04,426
Bucket of combs!
193
00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:07,261
She's trying to take the picture.
Scatter!
194
00:11:10,269 --> 00:11:13,602
Nobody move! Laverne, door!
195
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,698
Nobody's getting past here, baby!
196
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:21,238
OK, everybody.
One, two...
197
00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:23,076
And three.
198
00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:27,482
What are you doing here?
199
00:11:27,553 --> 00:11:29,714
Mrs. Wilk was asking me questions
200
00:11:29,822 --> 00:11:33,553
that I actually thought would be
best answered by you.
201
00:11:33,626 --> 00:11:36,993
Why did that sweaty attorney
ask me if my affairs were in order?
202
00:11:37,063 --> 00:11:41,090
Because I wanted to make sure
that you're as comfortable as possible.
203
00:11:41,167 --> 00:11:44,933
- As comfortable as possible? For what?
- I'm going to sit for this.
204
00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:48,636
For the place that you're going.
205
00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:54,078
The big puffy clouds, bright lights,
all your old friends...
206
00:11:54,180 --> 00:11:57,081
- Seattle?
- No, no, no. Not Seattle.
207
00:11:57,149 --> 00:12:01,108
The... You know,
the "dying peacefully" place.
208
00:12:01,187 --> 00:12:05,453
- What are you talking about?
- Now, I'm going to stand.
209
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:09,054
This morning, you told me
you'd had a great life.
210
00:12:09,128 --> 00:12:11,756
Exactly. And I'd like to continue it.
211
00:12:13,199 --> 00:12:17,260
This is just a misunderstanding.
Sorry. Tell her it's a misunderstanding.
212
00:12:17,336 --> 00:12:19,201
He's tried to kill before.
213
00:12:19,271 --> 00:12:23,435
In a hospital, the words "I'm sorry"can mean a lot of different things.
214
00:12:25,211 --> 00:12:27,145
So, the surgery went fine.
215
00:12:27,213 --> 00:12:30,546
Unfortunately, I didn't find
any medical reason for your pain.
216
00:12:30,616 --> 00:12:33,744
It can mean, "I'm giving up on you."
217
00:12:34,186 --> 00:12:35,619
I'm sorry.
218
00:12:36,722 --> 00:12:39,190
It can mean you're not sorry at all.
219
00:12:40,359 --> 00:12:42,793
Sorry your picture didn't come out.
220
00:12:42,862 --> 00:12:44,227
Yeah.
221
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:50,596
And, sometimes, "I'm sorry" can meanyour services are no longer needed.
222
00:12:51,070 --> 00:12:52,833
I'm sorry, Dr. Dorian.
223
00:12:52,938 --> 00:12:55,634
So you gave her the old
death sentence, did ya?
224
00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:59,610
In the business, we call that a rookie
mistake, but thanks for playing.
225
00:13:06,819 --> 00:13:09,287
Who the hell's responsible for this?
226
00:13:09,355 --> 00:13:13,291
Not even my giant mouthful ofapple-pear-orange-banana-cherry-berry
227
00:13:13,359 --> 00:13:15,987
could lift my depressionabout losing my patient.
228
00:13:16,061 --> 00:13:17,824
Hand over your stethoscope.
229
00:13:18,864 --> 00:13:19,831
What?
230
00:13:19,932 --> 00:13:22,799
In victory, I get your stethoscope.
It's a trophy.
231
00:13:22,868 --> 00:13:26,201
Back in olden times, I'd have made
a necklace out of your teeth.
232
00:13:26,272 --> 00:13:29,036
I find this highly unprofessional.
233
00:13:29,942 --> 00:13:32,968
Now, I'm going to check on Mr. Jenkins,
your war hero.
234
00:13:33,045 --> 00:13:35,707
I feel he, too,
deserves a competent doctor.
235
00:13:35,781 --> 00:13:38,341
In fact, I'm gonna take
all of your patients.
236
00:13:38,417 --> 00:13:39,384
And consequently,
237
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:42,818
your only reason for getting out
of that lacy, over-pillowed,
238
00:13:42,888 --> 00:13:46,756
four-poster virgin cocoon
you call a bed every morning.
239
00:13:48,060 --> 00:13:49,823
Gotta get Mrs. Wilk back.
240
00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:54,530
Who gave her a shade remote?
241
00:13:54,633 --> 00:13:57,295
I didn't even know
we had shade remotes.
242
00:14:00,940 --> 00:14:04,842
Aww, either your picture didn't come
out, or we're full of vampire doctors.
243
00:14:04,910 --> 00:14:08,607
[J.D.] Vampire doctors?How did he hear about my screenplay?
244
00:14:09,048 --> 00:14:11,710
I don't know why you did it,
but I know it was you.
245
00:14:11,784 --> 00:14:13,911
- How?
- Because it's always you.
246
00:14:13,986 --> 00:14:17,422
- It's not always me!
- [Man screaming]
247
00:14:17,489 --> 00:14:19,650
[Crashing]
248
00:14:19,725 --> 00:14:24,162
Who the hell put tiny wheels
on my shoes?
249
00:14:24,230 --> 00:14:26,596
That's his fault.
He took a nap in the lounge.
250
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:30,829
Why would you ruin this for me?
I didn't even ask you to be there!
251
00:14:30,903 --> 00:14:32,063
Imagine that.
252
00:14:32,171 --> 00:14:35,538
I've been here 13 years,
and I don't rate as part of the family.
253
00:14:35,641 --> 00:14:37,506
Did you want to be in the picture?
254
00:14:37,576 --> 00:14:41,068
No. It's just... I don't...
Who... It's...
255
00:14:41,146 --> 00:14:42,773
I gotta go.
256
00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:47,519
I actually love these.
257
00:14:49,121 --> 00:14:52,090
Miss Brooks,
your blood work looks fine.
258
00:14:52,858 --> 00:14:56,385
But I'd like to take one more sample,
just for me.
259
00:14:59,698 --> 00:15:03,327
- [Sucking sounds]
- [Moaning]
260
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:11,167
You taste a little anemic.
Get that down to the lab, buddy.
261
00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:15,202
- Right away, Dr. Acula.
- It's what they call me.
262
00:15:15,281 --> 00:15:16,839
How you doing?
263
00:15:16,949 --> 00:15:18,314
The end.
264
00:15:18,384 --> 00:15:22,013
So Dr. Acula is a doctor and a vampire?
265
00:15:22,087 --> 00:15:24,055
He's both.
And at the very end,
266
00:15:24,123 --> 00:15:27,092
I'm gonna put "Dr. Acula"
across the screen,
267
00:15:27,192 --> 00:15:29,422
take that period,
get it out of there,
268
00:15:29,495 --> 00:15:33,591
squish it together,
it'll say "Dracula."
269
00:15:33,666 --> 00:15:35,190
That is an awesome ending!
270
00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:38,327
Um, thank you for telling me
what I already know, Turk.
271
00:15:42,141 --> 00:15:45,304
Frick! It's Mrs. Peele!
One of us has to talk to her.
272
00:15:45,411 --> 00:15:49,347
First one to chug their Slushee
is off the hook. Come on! Here we go!
273
00:15:49,748 --> 00:15:52,512
[Screams]
274
00:15:54,019 --> 00:15:56,249
Brain freeze!
275
00:15:56,322 --> 00:15:58,950
Why is my husband being discharged?
276
00:15:59,024 --> 00:16:02,187
- Mrs. Peele, we really could not...
- [piercing scream]
277
00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:03,818
Turk, come on!
278
00:16:04,029 --> 00:16:06,463
It's so cold!
279
00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:11,361
Mrs. Peele, even though Dr. Turk
is incapacitated by his beverage,
280
00:16:11,437 --> 00:16:14,201
- he is a fantastic surgeon.
- Uh-huh.
281
00:16:14,273 --> 00:16:17,242
And he didn't find anything.
And I am a great doctor...
282
00:16:17,309 --> 00:16:20,574
- Nyahhh.
...and I didn't either.
283
00:16:21,580 --> 00:16:24,743
Don't you think that maybe
the pain could all be in his head?
284
00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:26,978
Last week, we were all watching TV
285
00:16:27,052 --> 00:16:30,078
and he was in too much pain
to get up and use the bathroom,
286
00:16:30,155 --> 00:16:33,318
so he soiled himself on the couch
right in front of our son.
287
00:16:33,425 --> 00:16:34,756
How do you explain that?
288
00:16:35,394 --> 00:16:38,329
Maybe there was a good game
on television.
289
00:16:40,099 --> 00:16:41,430
Probably not.
290
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:49,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
291
00:16:53,479 --> 00:16:55,845
[Screams] My screenplay!
292
00:16:59,218 --> 00:17:01,243
Hey, sport!
293
00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:02,981
[Grunting]
294
00:17:04,823 --> 00:17:06,882
You just lit your pipe
on my title page.
295
00:17:06,959 --> 00:17:09,484
I heard Mrs. Wilk gave you the axe.
296
00:17:09,561 --> 00:17:11,461
She said, "I've led a great life,"
297
00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:14,863
and every doctor knows
that's code for "I'm ready to die."
298
00:17:14,933 --> 00:17:16,992
How old do you think I am, Dorian?
299
00:17:17,069 --> 00:17:20,698
There's no way to answer and notget in trouble. Change the subject.
300
00:17:20,773 --> 00:17:24,675
Sir, I would be honored if you
and Enid would join me on Sunday
301
00:17:24,743 --> 00:17:26,870
for some homemade jambalaya.
302
00:17:26,945 --> 00:17:30,039
Well, it would be good for Enid
to get out of the house.
303
00:17:30,115 --> 00:17:33,141
My God! He's thinking about it.Change the subject back!
304
00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:35,186
You're 78, sir.
305
00:17:35,287 --> 00:17:38,051
- You think I'm that old?
- Jambalaya.
306
00:17:38,123 --> 00:17:40,489
- I'm 57, numbnuts.
- Really?
307
00:17:40,592 --> 00:17:43,561
- I know they say 57 is the new 40...
- Who?
308
00:17:43,662 --> 00:17:47,621
...but it seems all people see when they
look in my direction is some old guy.
309
00:17:48,467 --> 00:17:50,958
I was in the mall
hanging out at Brookstone
310
00:17:51,036 --> 00:17:53,129
and some kid asked me if I was lost.
311
00:17:53,205 --> 00:17:55,833
Brookstone.
Were you looking for gadgets, sir?
312
00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:59,241
If that's what you call
trolling for mall ass, then yeah.
313
00:17:59,311 --> 00:18:04,010
The point is, you think Mrs. Wilk
is old enough to die.
314
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:06,916
I'm betting she doesn't agree.
315
00:18:09,822 --> 00:18:12,382
How am I supposed to know
the Janitor has feelings?
316
00:18:12,491 --> 00:18:14,220
We should've believed Mr. Peele.
317
00:18:14,293 --> 00:18:17,194
It's not like somebody
poos their pants for no reason.
318
00:18:17,262 --> 00:18:21,028
- Turk did that in college on a bet.
- Carla did not know that story.
319
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,067
Thank you.
320
00:18:22,167 --> 00:18:25,796
Sometimes when you feel guilty,it's a storm cloud over your head.
321
00:18:25,871 --> 00:18:29,637
- [Thunder rumbling]
- [Wind howling]
322
00:18:38,417 --> 00:18:41,386
I knew there was only one wayto make the guilt storm go away.
323
00:18:41,487 --> 00:18:44,047
Mrs. Wilk, I'm sorry.
324
00:18:49,394 --> 00:18:51,954
Mrs. Wilk, I just wanted to say
I was wrong
325
00:18:52,030 --> 00:18:55,591
to think you wouldn't want to try
every possible treatment there is
326
00:18:55,701 --> 00:18:57,931
to avoid, you know...
327
00:18:58,003 --> 00:19:00,301
...the place with...
328
00:19:00,739 --> 00:19:05,108
You know, there's clouds
and the Space Needle...
329
00:19:05,878 --> 00:19:07,140
Seattle.
330
00:19:07,212 --> 00:19:08,736
Yes, you were.
331
00:19:09,515 --> 00:19:11,415
But thank you.
332
00:19:12,284 --> 00:19:13,911
You're welcome.
333
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:17,452
You got a lot of pluck
for an older gal.
334
00:19:17,523 --> 00:19:19,491
How old do you think I am?
335
00:19:19,558 --> 00:19:20,923
Jambalaya!
336
00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:23,325
There are a lot of waysto make amends.
337
00:19:25,063 --> 00:19:27,964
It can be as simpleas including someone...
338
00:19:29,735 --> 00:19:30,895
Hey.
339
00:19:32,804 --> 00:19:34,704
I want you to be in the picture.
340
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:40,509
[Whimpers]
341
00:19:43,649 --> 00:19:44,980
[Cracking]
342
00:19:47,819 --> 00:19:51,084
- I thought you were trying to kill me.
- I fought the urge.
343
00:19:51,823 --> 00:19:54,553
- OK.
- Thanks.
344
00:19:54,626 --> 00:19:57,789
... or as complicatedas committing to a difficult journey.
345
00:19:57,863 --> 00:20:00,696
Mr. Peele, we believe your pain's real.
346
00:20:00,766 --> 00:20:03,701
And you're not going anywhere
until we figure it out.
347
00:20:05,137 --> 00:20:06,365
Thank you.
348
00:20:09,741 --> 00:20:12,710
The important thing is to regainthe respect of your peers.
349
00:20:12,811 --> 00:20:16,042
Say, Newbie,
I, uh, I gotta hand it to you.
350
00:20:16,114 --> 00:20:19,413
It took the heart of a lion
to apologize to Mrs. Wilk like that.
351
00:20:19,484 --> 00:20:20,451
Thank you.
352
00:20:20,552 --> 00:20:23,180
It took the incompetence
of a bewildered jackass
353
00:20:23,255 --> 00:20:24,950
to make that error to begin with.
354
00:20:25,023 --> 00:20:27,992
You never make assumptions
based on your own perceptions.
355
00:20:28,093 --> 00:20:29,856
- Just never do it.
- Really?
356
00:20:29,962 --> 00:20:32,988
You've been spending time
treating my guy, Mr. Jenkins?
357
00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:35,192
He's a veteran.
He deserves as much.
358
00:20:35,267 --> 00:20:36,996
He's just a homeless guy.
359
00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:39,799
I made up the war veteran story
to motivate my boys.
360
00:20:39,871 --> 00:20:41,930
But, what are you gonna do?
361
00:20:42,007 --> 00:20:44,532
Oh, come on.
You've gotten me like 100 times.
362
00:20:44,610 --> 00:20:47,511
I finally got you once.
It was bound to happen, right?
363
00:20:47,579 --> 00:20:51,106
I see your point.
Kindly blow it out your ass.
364
00:20:54,486 --> 00:20:56,954
- How did you get them to come down?
- Fear.
365
00:20:57,623 --> 00:20:58,954
OK, everybody.
366
00:20:59,024 --> 00:21:02,585
One, two, three!
367
00:21:02,661 --> 00:21:05,425
- [All] Yay!
- [Camera clicks]
368
00:21:06,305 --> 00:21:12,452
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