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One of the reasons Turk and I
are so popular around here
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00:00:05,960 --> 00:00:07,996
is we love helpingour fellow doctors.
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00:00:08,080 --> 00:00:11,390
- Hey, Hooch.
- That's my name. Don't wear it out.
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00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:14,358
Classic Hooch. Even though
I'm not gonna be paid,
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00:00:14,440 --> 00:00:17,876
I'll cover your shift
so you can do Mr Schindler's endoscopy.
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00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:20,235
I'll cross-cover Dr Turner's patients
7
00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:22,550
so Turner can assist you
on the procedure.
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00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:24,835
Why are you going
through so much trouble?
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00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:27,309
Who's doing the endoscopy
on Mr Schindler?
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00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:29,436
- Turner and Hooch!
- Turner and Hooch!
11
00:00:30,720 --> 00:00:32,631
All right!
12
00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:34,517
Were you just Hooch?
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00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:36,238
Everyone hates you guys.
14
00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:39,073
- Hooch.
- Hooch is crazy!
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00:00:39,160 --> 00:00:42,357
As much as Hooch loved us, it waseven better to see Turk happy.
16
00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:46,399
He and Carla started couples therapy,and I'm not sure he was enjoying it.
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00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:49,950
Carla says you cry after you orgasm.
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00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:53,032
- Would you like to talk about that?
- No, not really.
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00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:56,708
I decided to help their marriageby moving out,
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00:00:56,800 --> 00:01:00,429
partly because Carla and I accidentallykissed and messed things up,
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00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:04,069
but mostly because it was time.Finding an apartment has not been easy.
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00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:05,798
I'm so sorry about your father.
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00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:08,030
I'm sure he lived a wonderful life
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00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:11,112
at 14 Maple Drive, apartment 4B.
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00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:14,272
Was he lucky enough to enjoy
a washer and dryer in his unit
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00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:16,555
while he was alive?
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00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:19,357
Ever mention any hot neighbours?
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00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:23,476
What are you doing
in the on-call room?
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00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:24,549
Nothing.
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00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:26,358
- I gotta go.
- OK.
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00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:29,474
Thankfully, Turk got over the kissing.
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00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:32,393
There's a weird new thing he doeswhen he says goodbye.
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00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:33,959
OK, I'll see you around.
34
00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:36,759
Peace, homey.
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00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:40,952
Do you guys think that Clarissa
is more attractive than me?
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00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:42,029
Yes.
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00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:44,638
Who's Clarissa?
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00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:47,029
The short, balding woman
in the pharmacy.
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00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:48,712
Oh, then, definitely yes.
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00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:51,633
She just got engaged,
bad combover and all.
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00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:54,632
She beats you to the altar,
time to hang up the ovaries.
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00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:57,996
Too mean. How am I supposed
to meet a guy working in this place?
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00:01:58,080 --> 00:01:59,638
Are the guys here that bad?
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00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:03,875
Twelve minutes door to door!
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00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:06,110
That's a personal best, suckos!
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00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:10,431
Nurse, suction.
47
00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:12,875
The patient's not even here yet.
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00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:13,989
I know.
49
00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:18,755
I just wish once a cute, thoughtful guy
would walk through the door.
50
00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:23,511
Can I get help?
My neighbour fainted.
51
00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:26,558
She doesn't like ambulances,
so I brought her in myself.
52
00:02:26,640 --> 00:02:28,870
Let me take this one.
You've got a phone call.
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00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:31,633
- I'll call them back.
- Your mom died.
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00:02:31,720 --> 00:02:33,119
What?
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00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:36,678
Her mom's fine. It's just
a little running joke we have.
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00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:39,228
She'll be laughing later.
Gotcha, Jenny!
57
00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:42,551
Dead mom joke's always funny.
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00:02:57,200 --> 00:02:59,031
So, Betty, you're back with us.
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00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:00,758
And you brought a handsome buck.
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00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:03,673
Are you trying to make me jealous?
You know you're my gal.
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00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:04,988
Who are you?
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00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:07,640
I'm Dr Dorian. I'm the one
that's taken care of you
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00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:09,597
the last 19 times you've been in here.
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00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:12,194
She's getting a little forgetful.
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00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:14,430
- Are you a relative?
- No. Neighbour.
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00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:15,748
Well, I met her once.
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00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:19,628
It was raining, and you were
wearing a blue sweater.
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00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:22,951
That's a lovely memory.
You know what else is a lovely memory?
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00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:27,238
That Sunday I spent eight hours helping
you join the Wilford Brimley fan club.
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00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:28,799
You don't remember that?
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00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:30,996
I'm kind of on my way to the airport.
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00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:33,640
I'm going kayaking
with friends in New Zealand.
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00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:36,109
Cool. So, what are you
gonna do there?
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00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:37,428
Mostly kayaking.
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00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:42,113
So, Betty, I'll check on you
the second I get back, OK?
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You get better now.
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00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:47,031
So, Elliot, the first thing
we're gonna need to do is...
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00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:49,350
Is Dr Reid coming back?
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00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:52,273
Don't worry. You're in
good hands with Dr Dorian.
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00:03:52,360 --> 00:03:55,875
- Who's that?
- That's me, Betty. Dr Dorian.
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00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:59,191
Cocoon. Wilford Brimley.
Steve Guttenberg, the whole day. No?
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00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:05,350
Jake. So you're probably rushing home
to wipe the old person smell off?
83
00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:06,509
Excuse me?
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00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:08,795
I'm just kidding. I love old people.
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00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:11,474
There's no denying
they have a distinctive smell.
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00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:15,314
I mean, it's nothing bad.
It's like a... general mustiness.
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00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:19,794
Like, you know, when you get
your cast taken off,
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00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:22,030
and... skin mould.
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00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:25,918
Well, I got a flight to catch.
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00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:28,992
- You guys need me to sign anything?
- No. You're good.
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00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:30,877
OK, then.
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00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:35,592
Hats off there, Barbie.
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00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:39,719
The was one potent combination of
verbal diarrhoea and stunned silence.
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00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:42,030
You should have asked him out.
Men love that.
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00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:44,111
No, Carla, men don't love that.
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00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:46,760
We don't love picnics,
foreplay, candles,
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00:04:46,840 --> 00:04:49,673
baths, photo albums, or when
you drive so we can relax.
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00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:52,399
And, as always, we're not that big
on Hugh Jackman.
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00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:57,031
The only thing men care about as far
as dating is concerned is the chase.
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00:04:57,120 --> 00:04:59,156
If you want that guy
to look your way,
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00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:02,437
listen to me carefully,
ignore the living hell out of him.
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00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:05,110
That's the worst advice
I've ever heard.
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00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:06,189
Good point.
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00:05:06,280 --> 00:05:09,909
You don't happen to have any other gems
before you run to couples therapy
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00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:13,436
to sift through the wreckage that is
the first year of your marriage?
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00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:17,593
Look, Dr Cox, I'm sure that you are
fantastic at picking up men. Really.
107
00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:21,149
But I can handle this one
on my own, thank you.
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00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:26,472
Some people just cannot take a good
"your mom is dead" joke.
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00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:32,159
Anyway, I worry that sometimes
when I'm tense,
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00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:34,390
I can be a little condescending.
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00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:36,198
Actually, I've noticed that.
112
00:05:36,280 --> 00:05:38,669
Have you really noticed it,
"Mr Therapist"?
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00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:43,550
- Chris, what's going on with you?
- Nothing worth talking about.
114
00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:47,269
This is your third visit and you've
yet to say how you're feeling.
115
00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:50,557
I don't think there's anything wrong
with our relationship.
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00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:53,552
You pretend everything's OK,
even though deep inside,
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00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:55,232
a lot of things bother you.
118
00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:58,756
So come on, tell me what
you're thinking right now.
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00:05:58,840 --> 00:06:00,910
I'm staring at that picture.
120
00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:03,878
Is that one of those
psychological ink blot tests
121
00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:07,270
where I try and figure out what it is?
Because, if so...
122
00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:09,316
...l'm seeing a duck.
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00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:12,990
- Let's take a break.
- OK.
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00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:17,358
But, Hooch, if the patient
just has simple cellulitis,
125
00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:19,351
why aren't the antibiotics working?
126
00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:22,750
Damn it, Turner,
it just doesn't make sense!
127
00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:24,273
Even though I had created
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00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:26,999
a super medicalcrime-fighting team, I felt lousy.
129
00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:29,355
I told Betty her lungshad given out,
130
00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:31,749
and she wasn't gonnaleave the hospital.
131
00:06:31,840 --> 00:06:33,239
So...
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00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:36,670
...what are my choices?
133
00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:39,274
Well, we could put you
on a breathing machine,
134
00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:41,794
but it's unlikely
you'd ever come off of it.
135
00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:45,031
Or I could just make sure
you're as comfortable as possible.
136
00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:46,997
"As comfortable as possible."
137
00:06:47,080 --> 00:06:49,913
I've said that a million times,but no idea what it means.
138
00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:51,353
There you go, Betty.
139
00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:54,238
That's every cotton ball
in the hospital.
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00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:58,916
I am very, very comfortable!
141
00:07:00,840 --> 00:07:02,353
Then you're ready to die.
142
00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:06,557
Look, is there anyone you'd
like to talk this over with?
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00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:12,513
She just wants to talk to you
for a minute.
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00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:13,635
Yeah? About what?
145
00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:16,188
Just about how and when
she should die.
146
00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:19,556
I counsel most of my random
neighbours on their deathbeds.
147
00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:21,596
This woman is alone,
she's depressed,
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00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:24,672
and for some reason
feels like she's connected with you.
149
00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:27,991
- Sorry. I wouldn't know what to say.
- Open with a joke.
150
00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:31,516
Then you and your raft will be
on a four-hour trip to New Zealand.
151
00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:33,397
No, it's more like 14 hours.
152
00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:36,870
You're close to revealing geographyis your Achilles heel.
153
00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:39,190
Say something smartto regain credibility.
154
00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:42,670
Vesa-vegal syncopy is mediated
by the autonomic nervous system.
155
00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:45,513
And Betty needs you, pal.
Come on. Do it.
156
00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:47,158
You'll feel good. Trust me.
157
00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:49,435
You don't even know
where New Zealand is.
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00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:52,760
You can dance your way there
from Old Zealand.
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00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:54,751
Are you an idiot?
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00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:58,999
Elliot, my neighbour fainted too.
161
00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:00,354
You want to go clubbing?
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00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:03,750
I don't mean dancing, I mean
going up to the roof and killing rats.
163
00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:07,196
- I thought we were done with this.
- Thought I'd give it a shot.
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00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:10,351
Just put her back in her room.
165
00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:12,795
She's not a patient.
I got her at the mall.
166
00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:15,437
Better get you back
to the food court.
167
00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:17,556
Your husband's probably
come to by now.
168
00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:20,439
Oh, my God, here he comes.
169
00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:22,829
OK, this is easy.Just compliment him.
170
00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:24,638
Tell him he has a square head.
171
00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:27,439
That's not a compliment.What shape is a compliment?
172
00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:29,636
Triangle? Pyramid?Circle. Circle head.
173
00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:32,871
You're stuck on shapes,and square head's almost here!
174
00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:34,996
Just do what Dr Cox saidand ignore him.
175
00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:36,195
Hey, Elliot.
176
00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:41,955
That girl's kind cute.
What's her story?
177
00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:44,429
- She's a dude.
- Yeah?
178
00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:47,353
Gotta look at the Adam's apple, buddy.
179
00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:50,159
- Therapy is killing me.
- I don't know how you do it.
180
00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:53,312
Make love with your lady in front
of some old dude filming you?
181
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:56,437
- That's not couples therapy, Todd.
- Then what did I do?
182
00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:58,988
- You did amateur porn.
- Sweet.
183
00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:02,229
J.D., you got a sec?
184
00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:04,470
- Sure. I'll be with you in a minute.
- OK.
185
00:09:04,560 --> 00:09:05,549
So check this out.
186
00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:08,871
Our therapist says I'm the type
who pretends everything's OK,
187
00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:11,349
even when I'm upset
deep down inside.
188
00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:13,431
If you look at the whole kissing thing,
189
00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:16,990
intellectually you moved on,
but emotionally you're still upset.
190
00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:19,310
- You'll get there.
- I'm not upset.
191
00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:22,472
Really? Oh, OK.
I'll see you later. Bye.
192
00:09:22,560 --> 00:09:24,835
- You see?
- See what?
193
00:09:24,920 --> 00:09:27,639
Let's try it again.
I'll see you later, buddy. Bye.
194
00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:29,790
- Bye.
- Always the same spot!
195
00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:32,030
It's like your fingers are stone.
196
00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:34,190
Last time. I'll see you later, b...
197
00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:35,508
Hey! Look at yourself.
198
00:09:38,040 --> 00:09:39,234
I've been hitting you?
199
00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:41,038
Yeah. You're like The Brown Hulk.
200
00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:44,954
Hey, how's it going in here, you two?
201
00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:48,112
Well, pretty good. Pretty good.
We talked about her past.
202
00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:51,510
Betty even let me in on a few romantic
trysts from her younger days.
203
00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:53,670
Are you familiar with
Mr David Brinkley?
204
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:54,749
- No way.
- Yeah.
205
00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:56,432
Betty.
206
00:09:56,520 --> 00:09:59,353
Then when we finally got down
to talking for real,
207
00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:03,752
well, it became pretty obvious that
Betty had already made a decision.
208
00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:06,039
OK.
209
00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:07,917
What impressed memost about Jake,
210
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:10,230
besides his perfectly square head,
211
00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:13,118
was that he faced this wholeBetty thing straight on.
212
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:15,873
He thinks I'm cute.
He thinks I'm cute.
213
00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:19,236
He didn't hide because he was afraidto admit someone was right.
214
00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:21,231
- I'm cute...
- Barbie.
215
00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:23,959
- Why so happy?
- No reason.
216
00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:29,517
He didn't run because he wasscared of facing his own feelings.
217
00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:32,319
Baby, I'm not gonna be able
to make therapy tonight.
218
00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:34,914
- I got surgery.
- Fine.
219
00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:38,276
He wouldn't be able to do itif it weren't for his secret weapon...
220
00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:39,429
Dr John Dorian.
221
00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:40,714
- What?
- What?
222
00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:43,268
You said your name in a weird
summing up way.
223
00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:46,716
- No, I didn't, Jake.
- Oh, so you're Jake.
224
00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:51,032
As I understand it, you just talked
my sister into ending her life.
225
00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:52,599
Long story short.
226
00:10:52,680 --> 00:10:54,238
I'm a lawyer. I'm suing you.
227
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:58,598
Once again. Sister dying,
brother lawyer, suing you!
228
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:03,959
See, that's summing up in a weird way.
Yeah.
229
00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:06,031
"Brother lawyer..." That's it.
230
00:11:10,280 --> 00:11:12,111
I can't believe this is happening.
231
00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:14,270
Everything's gonna be fine.
Trust me.
232
00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:15,952
- Is that him?
- Yes. Here's Ted,
233
00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:18,873
our brilliant hospital attorney.
Sharp as a tack.
234
00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:22,509
Mark my words, Jake, we're gonna
take every last cent you have!
235
00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:24,192
No, no, Ted. We're on his side.
236
00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:26,635
Oh. Here's my card.
237
00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:28,838
This is a Post-lt.
238
00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:31,559
I don't get real cards
until I win a case.
239
00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:33,709
Go take a nap, Ted.
240
00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:36,278
He spelled "attorney" wrong.
241
00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:39,750
"Buy groceries, kill self."
242
00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:42,070
You're sent from the future
to destroy me.
243
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:44,116
I am not from the future, Jake.
244
00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:45,269
Gesundheit, Carol.
245
00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:47,749
Yes! It finally worked!
What are the odds?
246
00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:51,469
I don't know, J.D. What I do know
is I'm about to go down to my truck,
247
00:11:51,560 --> 00:11:54,120
get my kayak paddle,
and go Greg Barton on your ass.
248
00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:56,077
- Who's Barton?
- Famous kayaker.
249
00:11:56,160 --> 00:11:57,752
Oh, Greg Barton.
250
00:11:57,840 --> 00:11:59,637
I hate you, J.D.
251
00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:01,119
I know.
252
00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:06,470
This is the most painful thing
I've done,
253
00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:08,835
and I was a cutter for a week
in high school.
254
00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:12,629
My shop teacher thought scars were
sexy, but that's a whole other story.
255
00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:16,269
Your advice really worked
and I'd appreciate some more help.
256
00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:17,713
No problem, Barbie.
257
00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:20,268
Let me just finish
writing this prescription,
258
00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:21,918
and you'll be squared away.
259
00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:24,871
This is a prescription for "no."
260
00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:28,475
To be taken with food every Saturday
night while you're eating alone.
261
00:12:28,560 --> 00:12:30,869
You don't understand
the severity of this.
262
00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:33,679
I am dangerously close
to giving up men altogether.
263
00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:37,469
On behalf of men everywhere,
including the ones in the mud huts,
264
00:12:37,560 --> 00:12:40,120
let me be the first to say
thanks and hallelujah.
265
00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:43,272
See the problem with trying
to appeal to its human side?
266
00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:47,114
- He doesn't have one.
- Exactly. But what does he have?
267
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:50,158
A shaved chest, tiny t-shirts,
and the eyes of a madman.
268
00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:54,791
I'm sorry. The correct answer
she was looking for is a giant ego.
269
00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:57,075
I have a giant ego.
270
00:12:57,160 --> 00:12:58,229
Damn it! I knew that.
271
00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:01,198
Would you just appeal to it
so I can get something to eat?
272
00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:04,670
- You're amazing.
- And I'm in.
273
00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:13,071
Dr Kelso, you can't do that.
274
00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:16,357
I didn't.
Your friend Turkleton did.
275
00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:18,829
But I can do whatever I want.
276
00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:22,239
You look ridiculous.
277
00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:27,149
I thought we were doing
moustaches on Sunday.
278
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:28,878
I didn't do this. Kelso did!
279
00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:32,509
- You invited Kelso to Moustache Sunday?
- Enough with the moustaches.
280
00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:34,397
Did you break up Turner and Hooch?
281
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:37,278
I needed an excuse to get out
of couples counselling.
282
00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:39,396
I can't open up, man.
I just can't do it.
283
00:13:39,480 --> 00:13:41,277
Besides, this way no one gets hurt.
284
00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:49,789
We had a hell of a run, man.
285
00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:51,233
Just get out of here.
286
00:13:57,560 --> 00:13:59,391
Maybe I should just go talk to him.
287
00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:01,550
Forget Dennis.
He's a horrible person.
288
00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:04,359
We'll never change his mind.
We need to focus on Betty.
289
00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:08,115
We'll just have her explain
how she feels. Problem solved.
290
00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:10,714
"Betty's in a coma."
I'm gonna talk to Dennis.
291
00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:12,518
He seems like a reasonable guy.
292
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:17,114
Hey, Jake. How's it goin'?
293
00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:19,475
I've had better days.
How are you?
294
00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:23,713
Listen to me, Barbacious,
you gotta stay the course.
295
00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:24,994
Keep ignoring him.
296
00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:27,958
But I'm already ignoring him.
How do I ignore him more?
297
00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:31,350
Piece of cake. First you engage him,
then you ignore him.
298
00:14:31,760 --> 00:14:34,513
Elliot? I said how are you?
299
00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:37,398
I don't have time for this, OK?
I'm a doctor.
300
00:14:37,480 --> 00:14:38,799
But you asked me how I was.
301
00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:41,440
Trying to save lives.
It's not always about you.
302
00:14:43,040 --> 00:14:45,634
You would not believe
the day I'm having.
303
00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:48,712
Quiet, jackass. What did you say
to Elliot to make her run?
304
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:51,030
- If you hurt her...
- I didn't say anything.
305
00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:53,031
- Everyone here is crazy.
- Not true.
306
00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:56,157
Let me put down my bag of rats
and explain something to you.
307
00:14:56,800 --> 00:15:00,190
- A bag of rats. Are those alive?
- I put a dead one in the middle.
308
00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:03,431
All the live ones get a good look,
they start toeing that line.
309
00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:06,512
- Know what I'm saying?
- I very much don't.
310
00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:09,151
It's pretty simple.
311
00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:10,878
Take a canvas bag...
312
00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:14,872
Jailbreak!
313
00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:19,394
You'll do whatever you want
with your sister,
314
00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:20,959
but Jake's trying to help.
315
00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:24,112
He's a stand-up guy, and I think
you should leave him alone.
316
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:26,236
If you do I think it will be
dy-no-mite.
317
00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:29,630
Sorry, I was just watching
Good Times in the doctors' lounge.
318
00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:32,518
Yeah. I'm gonna
screw him to the wall.
319
00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:35,873
Can you believe this guy?
320
00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:37,951
Son, look around.
321
00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:41,476
There's an old man with Alzheimer's
who no one bothers to come visit.
322
00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:44,677
I had a chat with a woman
who refuses to stop using cocaine.
323
00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:46,239
She's six months pregnant.
324
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:48,914
Last week I saw an older woman
fall and break her hip
325
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:51,560
because some guy was
too busy to hold the door open.
326
00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:53,676
So you laughed and pointed.
327
00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:56,672
I didn't say it wasn't funny.
I just said it happened.
328
00:15:56,760 --> 00:16:00,594
When's the last time you saw
a glimpse of humanity in this place?
329
00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:02,830
Kelso had a point.In the outside world,
330
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:06,276
you'll see a stream of cars drive byan old woman with a flat tyre.
331
00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:08,749
Around here, every timeyou round a corner,
332
00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:11,638
- well...
- She fell again.
333
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:13,995
Anyway, I knew what I had to do.
334
00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:16,389
Just go. No one here
knows your last name.
335
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:18,198
They'll never be able to find you.
336
00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:20,794
Go enjoy your rafting thing
in New Zealand.
337
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:23,952
Which, incidentally, is
10,000 miles east of Australia
338
00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:26,429
and famous for alcoholism
and clam chowder.
339
00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:28,839
Brushing up on New Zealand.
340
00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:31,275
You've been brushing up
on New England.
341
00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:34,716
Well, go anyway.
Wherever it is you're rafting.
342
00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:38,870
- Where's he going?
- He just left.
343
00:16:40,440 --> 00:16:42,192
Barbie! Go get him!
344
00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:44,589
I... believe in you.
345
00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:47,877
No, you don't. You want me to
embarrass myself to laugh at me.
346
00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:51,270
Like when you told me the hospital
fund raiser was a costume party.
347
00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:54,272
I walked into a black-tie dinner
as Clarence Thomas.
348
00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:55,918
I was in a costume too.
349
00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:58,514
You wore an Armani tux.
350
00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:01,558
I went as someone who doesn't
make a fool out of himself.
351
00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:03,392
How'd you not get that?
352
00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:07,439
Thank you.
353
00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:10,753
I just got my sister into
the hospital across town.
354
00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:13,035
I can finally get her out
of this hell hole.
355
00:17:13,120 --> 00:17:15,714
I personally see to it
every inch of this building
356
00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:18,189
is up to the highest
standards and codes.
357
00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:22,271
Well, that's just bad timing.
358
00:17:22,360 --> 00:17:24,316
Get back here! I'm sorry!
359
00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:29,278
Come on, fellas!
360
00:17:29,880 --> 00:17:32,030
And then somethingsurprising happened.
361
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:35,873
Well, look who's back.
362
00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:36,949
Look, buddy, I...
363
00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:39,918
I barely know your sister,
I certainly don't know you,
364
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:43,470
but she told me what she wanted,
and I'm gonna honour that.
365
00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:45,437
I'm gonna go ahead and stay here
366
00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:47,829
till I figure out a way
to make you understand,
367
00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:49,433
even if I have to get a lawyer.
368
00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:51,508
Not you.
369
00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:56,349
They're smart, they are organised,
370
00:17:56,440 --> 00:17:58,237
and they've got my keys.
371
00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:03,116
It's amazing how a selfless gesturecan affect so many people.
372
00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:06,639
One man saw someone who didn'trun away from a problem
373
00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:08,551
and found the courage to do the same.
374
00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:10,949
I got something
I'd like to share today.
375
00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:12,758
- Really?
- Yeah.
376
00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:16,276
I don't like it when Carla pinches
my nipples when we're having sex.
377
00:18:16,360 --> 00:18:19,033
Baby, that's... That's one of
the reasons why I cry,
378
00:18:19,120 --> 00:18:22,032
because you pinch them
too hard, and it hurts.
379
00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:25,268
One man was pushedto make the right decision.
380
00:18:25,360 --> 00:18:27,749
Just make her
as comfortable as possible.
381
00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:34,030
And another man realised it's OKto be a decent human being for once.
382
00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:37,953
He's definitely leaving for good
this time, Barbie.
383
00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:40,429
I'd... I say go for it.
384
00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:43,273
- Why won't you leave me alone?
- I don't know.
385
00:18:43,360 --> 00:18:46,716
The NHL is on strike, and I'm not
getting my fill of toothless men
386
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:48,677
knocking the hell out of each other.
387
00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:52,548
Maybe because for the first time in
four years, I'd like to see you happy.
388
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:55,108
Believe whatever you want.
I don't really care.
389
00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:57,077
Jake the Snake
is bearing down on you.
390
00:18:57,160 --> 00:18:58,832
If I were you, I'd step up to him,
391
00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:02,196
look him straight in the eye
with those beautiful blues and...
392
00:19:03,120 --> 00:19:06,112
...invite him out for a cup of coffee
before he escapes.
393
00:19:08,360 --> 00:19:12,273
Hey... Can I buy you a cup of coffee
before you escape?
394
00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:15,238
- What now?
- I mean... I mean, go.
395
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:18,278
- Yeah. That'd be nice.
- Great.
396
00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:22,471
That's a cute couple.
397
00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:23,959
I give 'em a week.
398
00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:26,508
I can make sure of that.
399
00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:29,391
- Rat?
- No, thanks.
400
00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:31,357
Oh, congratulations, Clarissa.
401
00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:35,712
As for me, seeing Jakecome back and do the right thing
402
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:37,791
restored my faith in humanity.
403
00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:41,189
I can't believe that six young men
404
00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:45,558
stopped to help an old lady
change a tyre.
405
00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:47,631
And don't you forget
who put that tyre on
406
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,711
and tightened those lug nuts, Martha.
407
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:53,156
OK, sweetie, have fun
at the swap meet. Drive safe.
408
00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:56,118
Yep, it sure feels goodto do the right thing.
409
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,950
Righty loosey, lefty tighty.
410
00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:07,430
Righty tighty, lefty loosey.
411
00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:10,512
Man. It still feels good.
412
00:20:11,512 --> 00:20:21,512
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