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1
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You never know who you're gonnafind in the cafeteria at 5am.
2
00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:09,038
A husband who asked his wife,after 36 hours of labour,
3
00:00:09,120 --> 00:00:11,350
if the screamingwas really necessary.
4
00:00:11,440 --> 00:00:15,399
Or the intern who's been on-callso many nights, she's hallucinating...
5
00:00:15,480 --> 00:00:17,914
Hi. I'd like two tickets to
Million Dollar Baby.
6
00:00:19,240 --> 00:00:23,916
Or your friends who found time betweenshifts to discuss marital troubles.
7
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:25,399
Why can't Carla let this go?
8
00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:28,836
Wouldn't you be mad if your husband
talked to his ex-girlfriend?
9
00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:31,150
Yeah, but mostly
because I had a husband.
10
00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:33,993
I'm going to stay at Elliot's
for a few more days.
11
00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:37,675
Yeah, I figured as much.
I brought you some things.
12
00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:40,718
Your slippers...
13
00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:43,678
...and...
14
00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:48,197
...remember that note on the toilet
to remind me to put the seat down?
15
00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:50,236
Looking at it was making me sad.
16
00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:54,518
I wrote this the first time I forgot
to look down and fractured my tailbone.
17
00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:56,636
- You were in a lot of pain.
- Yeah.
18
00:00:57,840 --> 00:01:01,549
Keep it together. We'll have brunch
on Sunday and see where we're at.
19
00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:06,031
But I want to be where you're at while
we try to figure out where we're at.
20
00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:09,318
Think they'll work it out?
21
00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:12,794
The movie's about to start.
22
00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:16,316
- Go home, Kathy.
- Where did she get popcorn?
23
00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:22,750
Maybe it's because we're best friends,but I had a feeling Turk was depressed.
24
00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:25,552
I should call her.
25
00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:29,394
Turk, you're not gonna believe this,
but I don't know a lot about women.
26
00:01:30,320 --> 00:01:31,799
No, it's true.
27
00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:35,316
One thing I do know is when a woman
wants her space, you give her space.
28
00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:37,755
My sixth grade girlfriend
taught me that.
29
00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:39,957
No, Olivia. I won't leave you alone
30
00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:42,554
until you explain
why you ignored me on the bus.
31
00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:47,797
I hope she's dead.
32
00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:51,236
The point is, in the meantime,
don't spiral into a depression, OK?
33
00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:54,471
So I'm taking you to a carnival tonight.
What do you say?
34
00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:57,074
I can't go to a carnival.
It reminds me of Carla.
35
00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:59,549
- Why?
- Dude, "carnival."
36
00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:03,110
Remove the "niv" and switch the "l"
and the "a," and you got "Carla."
37
00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:13,517
Oh, my God, he's right.
38
00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:17,750
Thank you so much
for letting me stay here.
39
00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:21,196
Please. And I still
have only one rule.
40
00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:23,794
I cannot talk or be talked to
while on the toilet,
41
00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:26,599
I cannot talk or be talked to
by someone on the toilet.
42
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,989
You told me yesterday, Elliot.
I get it.
43
00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:32,959
You say that, yet you still knocked this
morning and asked if I wanted coffee.
44
00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:34,268
Oh, I just thought...
45
00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:38,750
We'll pretend it never happened
or I won't poo again for two months.
46
00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:42,799
Oh, God, this sucks!
I hate March.
47
00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:45,553
Do you realize two years ago
this Sunday my mom died?
48
00:02:45,640 --> 00:02:48,200
Plus, last March,
you got that hideous haircut.
49
00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:53,318
Look, if it makes you feel any better,
I'm sure Turk's just as miserable.
50
00:02:56,560 --> 00:02:59,358
Stop! My tummy's starting to rumble.
51
00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:03,228
Faster! Jump! Go for it!
52
00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:06,278
- Kids, don't fly out!
- I'm going to hurl!
53
00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:21,311
You see a lot of sad thingsin a hospital.
54
00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:24,836
But nothing's as sad as a dermatologistthat's been paged,
55
00:03:24,920 --> 00:03:26,433
milking it for all it's worth.
56
00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:30,229
All right, everybody, watch your backs!
Skin doctor coming through!
57
00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:32,709
I gotta get somewhere stat!
58
00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:35,119
You called for a consult?
59
00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:37,839
Mr. Warner, do you see
what you've made me do?
60
00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:40,434
By again choosing to spend
all of your free time
61
00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:43,478
out on the surface of the sun
until melanomas develop,
62
00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:47,712
you forced me to pull the attending
dermatologist away from a backne seminar
63
00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:51,076
and validate his most ridiculous
of career choices.
64
00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:54,834
- Oh, God.
- I just want to look good.
65
00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:56,956
You, my friend,
look so damn leathery,
66
00:03:57,040 --> 00:03:59,759
I'm honestly tempted
to wrap you around a baseball,
67
00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:02,673
cinch you up with a belt
and stick you under my mattress
68
00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:06,116
so that you're good and broken in
for the big game on Sunday.
69
00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:10,751
But I'm here to heal, not judge.
I'm gonna write you some prescriptions.
70
00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:14,469
You'll find that this first one
is for an extra large mallet
71
00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:16,596
to help pound some sense
into yourself.
72
00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:20,309
The second one is for a big,
floppy hat that you're now to wear
73
00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:23,312
every single time you leave the house.
74
00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:25,755
Have a great day.
You look like a purse.
75
00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:27,478
Perry, a word.
76
00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:31,199
Oh, yeah.
77
00:04:31,280 --> 00:04:33,316
Your skin's all messed up.
78
00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:36,870
Perry, I am sick and tired
of listening to people complain
79
00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:40,350
about being called fatties,
boozers, losers, winos, tubbos,
80
00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:44,115
tokers, smokers, and jamokers,
whatever the hell jamokers means.
81
00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:46,998
I was saying "jokers"
and I had coffee cake in my mouth.
82
00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:50,390
Unlike my masseuse Frida,
you're not pretty enough to be rough.
83
00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:52,789
- Work on your bedside manner.
- Say, Bobbo,
84
00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:56,077
when exactly was the last time
you treated a patient?
85
00:04:57,240 --> 00:04:58,719
Now you listen to me, Betty.
86
00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:01,234
No matter how long,
we'll get through this.
87
00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:04,437
Congratulations.
They just named you Chief of Medicine.
88
00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:07,273
Bingo! Smell you later, Betty.
89
00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:11,712
Fine. You want me to take a patient,
I'll take a patient.
90
00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:15,429
The Bobatron is actually going to
try to connect with another human?
91
00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:17,715
It is so on.
92
00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:19,952
- Guys, it's so on.
- Awesome.
93
00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:22,190
- What's on?
- Who cares? He called me a guy.
94
00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:23,474
We stayed up too late.
95
00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:26,791
Our first annual interracial
"buddy movie" night. We had to.
96
00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:30,270
I'm pissed you thought Turner & Hooch
were interracial buddies.
97
00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:32,316
I didn't know it was
Tom Hanks and a dog.
98
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:35,119
Don't paint me as racist
because I thought "black guy"
99
00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:36,952
when I heard
the name Hooch.
100
00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:39,235
- Yeah, J.D., what's up?
- Oh, sorry, Hooch.
101
00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:41,311
We were just talking
about the movie.
102
00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:43,516
No biggie. Happens all the time.
103
00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:48,878
OK, so it was an honest mistake.
104
00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:50,871
Gotta go.
105
00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:53,596
Too hard!
What is going on with Turk?
106
00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:56,638
- He doesn't even seem bummed out.
- I uplifted his spirits.
107
00:05:56,720 --> 00:05:59,473
How did you do that?
Carla is just bottoming out.
108
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:03,712
I just came to use the bathroom
because she keeps violating the rule.
109
00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:05,028
Quiet on the crapper?
110
00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:08,829
Yeah. It's like she stores everything up
until my cheeks hit the seat.
111
00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:11,434
She thinks she's exempt from the rule.
112
00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:14,239
Nobody is exempt from the rule, J.D.
113
00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:18,029
OK. It's OK. I'll never
talk to you on the crapper.
114
00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:21,112
I can't afford
to soundproof my bathroom.
115
00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:24,078
Listen, the way I cheered up Turk,
I made it all about him.
116
00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:27,072
Find some way to lift
Carla's spirits up.
117
00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:31,873
Surprise!
118
00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:35,111
- What's going on?
- We are celebrating your mom's death.
119
00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:39,193
I mean, your mom's life. We're going
to celebrate your dead mom's life.
120
00:06:39,280 --> 00:06:40,713
I even got a cake.
121
00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:44,076
Wow! Does it say "dead"
anywhere on it?
122
00:06:46,480 --> 00:06:48,232
Not anymore.
123
00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:54,388
Junior, I don't know what you doing,
but you better look for some bandages.
124
00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:58,393
You'll need them when I
get through with you. Dr. Kelso.
125
00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:00,232
I didn't recognize you in scrubs.
126
00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:02,550
That's OK, Laverne.
I didn't recognize you
127
00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:04,710
without your mini TV
and your feet up.
128
00:07:08,280 --> 00:07:09,793
Real nice outfit there.
129
00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:12,110
Just go right ahead
and say what you want,
130
00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:15,749
because Dr. Bob Kelso is back in action
and he hasn't missed a step.
131
00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:17,876
Now, where do we keep the sick people?
132
00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:21,118
Hello, Ms. Goldman.
I'm your doctor.
133
00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:25,273
Don't you mean my doctor's
great-great-great-great-grandfather?
134
00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:27,874
- You're old.
- Yeah, I got that.
135
00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:32,997
Hey, friend. I switched shifts
so we could hang out tonight.
136
00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:35,469
Hell, yeah.
There's no beer in the fridge.
137
00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:37,949
We're gonna have to stop
and pick up some hooch!
138
00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:40,076
- Yeah, Turk?
- Sorry, man.
139
00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:43,516
- I was talking about the beer.
- That's no problem, buddy.
140
00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:45,033
All right!
141
00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:47,918
Just seems like you
could've said "beer."
142
00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:50,514
It's a much more common word.
143
00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:53,194
My bad. Won't happen again.
144
00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:55,475
Won't happen again.
145
00:07:58,040 --> 00:08:00,474
- You knew he was there?
- Couldn't help myself.
146
00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:03,150
It's weird.I want his marriage to work,
147
00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:06,073
but it's nice to have Turkall to myself again.
148
00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:10,349
It's weird. I want to follow him downthe hall and crack him over the head,
149
00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:15,195
but I'm so drunk right now, I knowI'll collapse if I even move an inch.
150
00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:17,475
And I am not kidding you.
151
00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:20,472
My mom turns to the guidance counsellor
and she says,
152
00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:29,636
- You understood that?
- I know when to laugh in any language.
153
00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:34,236
OK. You know, I was sceptical, but
it's been nice reminiscing about my mom.
154
00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:36,390
It's about to get a whole lot nicer.
155
00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:42,232
Hi, sweet pea, it's Mom. I just calledto tell you how much I love you.
156
00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:45,392
- Oh, my God.
- It's J.D.'s old answering machine.
157
00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:49,439
Hi, Carla. I sure wish youwould call me once in a while.
158
00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:52,671
Hadn't heard that one.
159
00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:55,194
What other stories
do you have about your mom?
160
00:08:55,280 --> 00:08:57,635
- Carla...
- God, it has batteries.
161
00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:01,679
It seems like you never have timefor me anymore. Carla?
162
00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:04,479
Carla? Carla?Pick up if you're there...
163
00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:11,916
What we are dealing with are venostasis
ulcers, mostly because of your weight.
164
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:15,072
You figured out I'm fat.
You're either a brilliant doctor
165
00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:17,355
or every guy
I've gone to high school with.
166
00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:18,873
OK, moving on.
167
00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:22,236
From what I'm seeing on your
fasting glucose and triglycerides,
168
00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:24,550
- I'm suspecting...
- Metabolic syndrome?
169
00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:27,791
Yes. Now this condition
is not that rare.
170
00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:30,838
- One in five people have it.
- Stop doing that!
171
00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:34,356
Why am I paying you to tell me things
I already figured out on my own?
172
00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:39,878
Maybe because I graduated first
in my class at Stanford in 1972.
173
00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:43,236
You graduated 12th
in your class in 1968.
174
00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:47,518
- She Googled your ass.
- I'm not interested in street lingo.
175
00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:50,194
I am interested in where she found
that magic phone
176
00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:52,350
that keeps making me
look like an idiot.
177
00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:58,359
Last summer, we had to choosebetween stemming a hepatitis C outbreak
178
00:09:58,440 --> 00:10:01,000
or going to bartending school.
179
00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:02,911
I always felt we did the right thing.
180
00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:07,551
Especially since Turk needed to blow offsome steam before meeting with Carla.
181
00:10:08,680 --> 00:10:12,036
We're your guest bartenders,
we'll be here all night!
182
00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:15,237
I'm going home and think about
what to say to Carla tomorrow.
183
00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:18,790
I was being selfish, but I couldn'thelp it. It was our last hurrah.
184
00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:22,433
You know Carla likes it
when you speak from your heart.
185
00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:25,671
Improv that, dog!
186
00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:27,318
Stay here and drink for Carla.
187
00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:29,675
- Since we doing it for Carla...
- For Carla!
188
00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:31,637
Let's do this!
189
00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:35,793
My barber once told me it'simportant to finish what you've started.
190
00:10:37,160 --> 00:10:41,438
Of course, sometimes what you've startedwas clearly the worst idea in the world.
191
00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:43,875
Wasn't this kind of fun?
192
00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:46,832
It stopped.
193
00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:49,953
Other times, it's a lot harderthan you thought.
194
00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:54,354
Damn it, young lady, let me in!
This is my hospital!
195
00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:58,196
Hey, Bob, what's shaking
in Patientville?
196
00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:02,159
Just trying to keep myself from
spending all day in there with her.
197
00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:05,516
- Such a doll.
- You Bob.
198
00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:10,355
If you end up with a hangoverthat would slay a walrus, it's worth it.
199
00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:14,274
Especially if you know your best friendis at brunch saving his marriage.
200
00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:17,393
What time is it?
201
00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:19,436
Or he missed it.
202
00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:26,588
This was my fault,so I was determined to fix it.
203
00:11:26,680 --> 00:11:30,070
Still, I needed Elliot's help,so I decided to break the ice first.
204
00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:31,752
Hey, Elliot, do me a favour.
205
00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:33,398
What do you mean, say "hooch"?
206
00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:35,994
Oh, my God, what?
I'm a little busy.
207
00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:39,038
I'm sorry. I'm not really sure
what's happening right now.
208
00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:42,829
Of course you're not. Because in
your head, it's all about you, isn't it?
209
00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:47,596
Well, no more. Say "hooch" again,
it will be the last thing you ever say.
210
00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:53,877
He was mad, wasn't he?
Oh, Hooch is crazy.
211
00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:58,158
Tell Carla it's my fault I kept Turk
out all night and he overslept.
212
00:11:58,240 --> 00:12:00,834
- It was J.D.'s fault.
- How come Turk hasn't called?
213
00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:03,036
- Why hasn't he called?
- I wanted to fix it.
214
00:12:03,120 --> 00:12:05,031
He wanted to fix it.
215
00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:07,076
Ask Betty why he's such a girly girl.
216
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:09,674
- Not now.
- Do it now, do it now. Call her Betty.
217
00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:12,320
- You're insane.
- Betty, Betty, Betty.
218
00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:14,439
- Betty?
- Yeah?
219
00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:15,839
Oh, my God, it worked!
220
00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:20,395
- When does Turk want to get together?
- When does he want to get together?
221
00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:23,358
I'm sorry about last night.
I explained you overslept.
222
00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:25,032
When do you want to meet up?
223
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:28,556
I didn't oversleep.
I... decided not to go.
224
00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:38,515
I don't know how she jammed this.
Can you open that door?
225
00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:41,239
You made it up herewithout passing out or vomiting.
226
00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:44,517
Now calmly and eloquently explainyou can't open it right now,
227
00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:45,828
and he'll be on his way.
228
00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:47,433
You open the door?
229
00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:50,830
- Well done.
- Are you mocking me?
230
00:12:52,080 --> 00:12:54,150
Give me this damn screwdriver.
231
00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:01,472
Hello, young lady.
232
00:13:01,560 --> 00:13:04,028
I set up an appointment
with our nutritionist.
233
00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:06,236
She'll create a diet
and exercise plan
234
00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:08,356
so I never have to see you
in here again.
235
00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:10,749
Yeah, I'm having a gastric bypass.
236
00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:14,469
But, Ms. Goldman, you're only 25,
237
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:17,996
and considering that any
serious surgery has inherent risks,
238
00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:20,674
- I really don't...
- How are you not getting this?
239
00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:22,876
I don't care what you think.
240
00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:28,552
Carla, I am so sorry about those
messages from your mother,
241
00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:31,234
- but I'm going to make it up to you.
- It's OK, Elliot.
242
00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:33,709
It was nice hearing
my mom's voice again.
243
00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:35,392
I just...
244
00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:38,074
I wish I could talk to her
about what's going on.
245
00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:46,152
I'm really not comfortable
with this kind of stuff.
246
00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:48,435
You can talk to people
once they're gone.
247
00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:50,670
I talked to our maid Consuela
all the time.
248
00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:54,309
- When did she die?
- When I was 11.
249
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:55,799
That's what my dad told me.
250
00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:59,316
I found out he deported her
for putting knives in the fork drawer.
251
00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:02,278
Elliot, you're a lot more normal
than you should be.
252
00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:05,195
Well, you do what you can
with what you got.
253
00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:09,717
Holy frick!
254
00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:13,548
First my parents get divorced,
now you and Carla.
255
00:14:13,640 --> 00:14:14,993
Common denominator? J.D.
256
00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:17,389
I should get cards that say
"love destroyer".
257
00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:18,674
It's not your fault.
258
00:14:18,760 --> 00:14:21,638
Don't get me wrong,
hanging with you has been nice.
259
00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:24,632
It was intoxicating.
You were hanging with the J. Dizzle.
260
00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:26,517
I'm sure it felt like a crazy dream.
261
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:28,716
With the J. Dizzle, it's hassle-free.
262
00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:31,075
Like some sort of crazy,
hassle-free dream.
263
00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:33,958
OK, stop, stop. Maybe that's
why I skipped the brunch.
264
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:37,396
I just can't help thinking
marriage shouldn't be this hard.
265
00:14:37,480 --> 00:14:39,675
You're my gastric bypass.
Any questions?
266
00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:41,671
Nope. See you in the O.R. Tomorrow.
267
00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:43,796
I'll be the one with the mask on.
268
00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:46,155
That's how easy marriage should be.
269
00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:50,919
I won't be there, but I'm sure
it will be nice operating on you.
270
00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:00,511
What is it, Bob?
271
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:04,798
When the hell did patients
stop respecting us?
272
00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:06,552
I tried to help that young woman,
273
00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:10,269
and she rolled over me like Enid's
wheelchair over Baxter's tail.
274
00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:13,875
Enid was recently paralyzed.
I haven't told anyone.
275
00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:19,635
Anyway, I couldn't handle the patients,
so go ahead, take your shots.
276
00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:23,349
I want to, Bob, I really do.
277
00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:27,479
But my first patient today
was a snot-nosed little punk
278
00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:31,553
who wouldn't let me give him a rectal
exam unless I said pretty please,
279
00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:37,397
and I'm not big on begging strangers
to stick my hand up their butt.
280
00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:39,869
Not even in my private time.
281
00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:43,316
Remember when being a doctor
meant people would look up to you?
282
00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:49,156
When I first started out,
I could take this old white coat out,
283
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:52,550
get a free haircut
or a nice table at a restaurant.
284
00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:54,756
Hell, I never once
got a speeding ticket.
285
00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:56,796
People used to give me
cards and gifts
286
00:15:56,880 --> 00:16:00,395
and sometimes even a pie
just for doing my job.
287
00:16:00,480 --> 00:16:03,790
Every mother wanted me
to marry their daughter
288
00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:06,075
because I was a doctor,
289
00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:08,833
and I used that to sleep
with all those mothers.
290
00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:10,831
That's what a house call used to mean.
291
00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:15,393
Those were the good old,
incredibly disturbing days, Bob.
292
00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:20,119
Today, people think of us as
drug-dispensing walking lawsuits
293
00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:23,237
who are in fact less informed
than their Internet phones.
294
00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:25,788
So that's what
that damn thing was.
295
00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:28,519
I will tell you one thing, though.
296
00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:32,798
If you even want to have an outside
chance of reaching someone nowadays,
297
00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:35,599
you damn sure better
speak from your heart.
298
00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:37,477
Thank you, Perry.
299
00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:41,190
Blow it out your ass, Bob.
300
00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:46,474
Elliot.
301
00:16:46,560 --> 00:16:48,630
- Yeah?
- I spoke to the groundskeeper.
302
00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:51,632
He'll come as soon as he
finishes burying Paul Newman.
303
00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:55,393
Different Paul Newman. I asked.
I'll wait here with you.
304
00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:57,311
Carla, go.
305
00:16:57,400 --> 00:17:01,154
I'm fine down here in this giant,
fresh, empty grave.
306
00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:02,559
OK, bye.
307
00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:09,837
I didn't know what to say to Turk next,and then it happened.
308
00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:17,789
- Sir, the door was open.
- I know. I just love doing that.
309
00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:19,438
What now, grandpa?
310
00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:22,557
You are going to shut your yapper
and listen for a change.
311
00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:24,551
I got you pegged, sweetheart.
312
00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:29,156
You want to take the easy way out
with this surgery because you're scared.
313
00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:32,755
You're scared because if you try
and fail, there's only you to blame.
314
00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:36,799
Well, missy, let me break this
down for you Bobbo-style.
315
00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:40,156
Life is scary. Get used to it.
316
00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:44,235
And then it seemed like Dr. Kelsowasn't only talking to her.
317
00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:46,914
There are no magical fixes.
318
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:49,594
It's all up to you.
319
00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:54,390
So get up off your keister, get out
of here, and go start doing the work.
320
00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:56,835
- What if it's too hard?
- What if it's too hard?
321
00:17:56,920 --> 00:18:01,357
I have no idea why you're chiming in,
but I'll say this to both of you.
322
00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:05,228
Nothing in this world
that's worth having comes easy.
323
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:08,638
I gotta go.
324
00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:14,678
OK, here it goes.
325
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:17,911
This is so weird.
326
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:20,753
I don't really know what to say.
327
00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:23,912
Sorry I haven't visited much.
I've been kind of busy.
328
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:27,276
That's not true.
Why am I lying to a slab of granite?
329
00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:34,673
I just know I really could've
used you around this week.
330
00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:36,671
I miss you.
331
00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:44,355
Can you tell her I miss her too?
332
00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:46,158
You know what? Never mind.
333
00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:48,071
Because she wouldn't believe you.
334
00:18:51,360 --> 00:18:53,999
You can never truly capture the past.
335
00:18:57,320 --> 00:18:59,515
That'll be $18.
336
00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:02,956
I'm not paying. I'm a doctor.
337
00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:06,999
Yeah, we don't do that anymore.
You're paying.
338
00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:16,354
You still have to try, because as a
recently incarcerated doctor once said,
339
00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:18,829
"Nothing worth having comes easy."
340
00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:25,518
So you ready to come home?
341
00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:31,595
I'm trying to get there, Turk.
I'm just not there yet.
342
00:19:32,360 --> 00:19:34,920
All right. You take
all the time you need, OK?
343
00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:36,873
Wait.
344
00:19:39,560 --> 00:19:42,950
Do you mind sitting here with me
for a little longer?
345
00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:57,396
Is anybody there? Anybody?
346
00:19:57,480 --> 00:19:59,118
Hello!
347
00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:03,750
Keep it together, Elliot.
Things could be worse.
348
00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:07,476
Oh, dear God.
349
00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:10,597
I'm gonna die in a watery grave.
350
00:20:11,597 --> 00:20:21,597
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