All language subtitles for POWERLESS [1.12] Van of the Year -ENGLISH-

- Oh, my God.
It is such a beautiful day.

Oh, I didn't realize you could
see the river from here.

What's that up in the sky?

Is it a bird?

Is it a plane?

Oh, it's a little man.

- Land dwellers, feel the wrath
of the Sea Troll!

- You seriously
can't tell the difference

between a bird and a plane?

- As many of you know,
Alma is retiring

after 40 years here.

- Yeah, Alma!

- There is no shortage
to the anecdotes--

the wonderful anecdotes--
from that time...

Ahh!

Anyway, here is a $25 gift card
to Burrito Gigante.

- Ohh.
- That's about one burrito

for every seven years
you worked here.

- One Gigante burrito.

Órale!

- She's been here that long
and that was her sendoff?

What, no dinner?
No party?

- If it helps,
I stole a bunch of pills

from her desk,
but I could put them back.

- That's a good start, Wendy,
but this is--

- Unacceptable?
- Yeah!

- And you're gonna
do something about it?

- We've been working together
for such a short time,

and yet, you know me so well.

Van, I wanna talk to you
about this whole Alma thing.

- Oh, come on.

It was 20 years ago.
We were snowed in.

She taught me things.

What?

- No, we need to give her
a proper retirement party.

Just have Corporate throw down
a little cash and we--

- Let me stop you there.
You know what happens

when you ask Corporate
for money?

They ask you, "What happened
to the other money?"

And then suddenly,
all of your lavish sushi lunches

turn into
regular sushi lunches.

Have you ever had regular sushi?
It's just okay.

- Okay, come on.

We're supposed to be a family.

And we should look out
for each other.

- Which is it? We're a family
or we look out for each other?

- So you're saying you don't
wanna do something extra

for your oldest employee?
- No.

- Oh.
- Look, I am trying

to climb the corporate ladder.

I've already
stepped on those rungs.

You do not get to Gotham
by helping people below you.

That's why you suck up.

- This is--
- Unacceptable, I know.

Get out.

Jackie.

I wanna eat
at Lavish Sushi today.

- Jackie, what is wrong
with Van?

- Raised by his nanny,
doesn't read books,

still quotes "Borat."
- Okay, a boss is supposed to

care about his employees.

At my father's flower shop,

any time someone celebrated
an anniversary,

he would give them
a big gift anda cake.

- Wow, I wish someone
would give me a prize

for not killing myself.

Where I grew up,
there was a sense of community,

of the greater good.

- Oh, my God.
You grew up in a cult.

- No, Kansas.
- Oh, I'm sorry.

At least the sex is good
in a cult.

Let me do you a favor.

You're never gonna
get far in life

unless you look out
for yourself.

- No, that's not true.

My dream is to be the next
Archibald Stylus.

He runs the Wayne Foundation

and all they ever do
is help people.

- Yeah, he's also the dick
who turned

my corporate Christmas present
into a donation in my name.

- Your gift gave an impoverished
woman a cell phone and a goat.

- Screw her.
I want a bathrobe.

- Hey, you know who wants
a bathrobe?

My wife!

- It is so forced.

He's not even married.

- Ugh, I can't believe I have to
retest these motion detectors.

When did Chinese orphans
getting paid less than

a dollar a day
stop taking pride in their work?

What the hell is that?

- Oh, it's for my grandma.
She met a guy online

that lives in Metropolis.
- Oh, you better watch out.

She might be getting catfished.
- Oh, she's definitely

getting catfished,
because it's me.

What?
It makes her happy.

Plus, I always avoid
the sex questions.

Anyway, I mean,
she has arthritis.

So it's hard for her
to take selfies.

I control it with my brain.

It senses when
I'm at my most confident

so it always takes
the perfect selfie.

See?
Like that.

- Holy crap.
Ron, this is amazing.

You could do something
really special with this.

- I am.
I'm giving it to my grandma.

- No, no, no.
You can't be serious.

- Don't I look serious?

Well, I hope the surprise is

that someone found
my blood pressure pills.

Happy retirement!

- Oh, is this for me?

- Of course.
It's the least we could do.

You are part of
the family, Alma.

That's why we all chipped in
and got you a gift.

- Did you?
- I don't remember that.

- I don't have any money.
- I didn't put in no money.

- It's heavier than it looks.

Is it a retirement diamond?

I don't know what it is,
but it's definitely not that.

- Oh, yeah, well.

- It's not, right?

- They are olives from the town
in Italy that you grew up in.

- Oh, I haven't had these
since I was a kid.

Thank you, Emily.

- Of course.
But it wasn't just me.

It was a group effort.
We all helped out.

- I don't understand.

Why did you do this
and not take credit?

- It's called caring
for other people.

- Fine.
Don't tell me.

- Is this stupid thing
still happening?

- Oh, ha, there's that Van wit.

Looks like we're moving on
to the roasting part

of the retirement party.

- Get back to work!
- Sorry.

Well, thank you everyone.
And I'll think of you all

working away here when
I'm holding my new grandbaby.

- Land dwellers, prepare to
taste the wrath of the sea!

Oh. Don't worry, everybody.
I'm...

I'm fine.

- Oh, whoa!
- Aah!

- Oh!
- Oh, ah!

- Ohh.
- Oh!

mm...Alma's right arm was
turned into a squid tentacle.

Now, because we care
for her very much,

the cafeteria has taken
calamari off of the menu.

- Huh.
- Hm.

- And we are
passing around a card.

- Evil spells,
buried under rubble--

ah, sea monsters.

"Get Whale Soon."

- Mm.
- Okay, this is BS.

Van used her as a human shield,

and he's just giving her a card.

- I hear Alama's gonna have to
spend eight hours a day

with her arm in
a salt water aquarium.

- We need to
do something for her.

- Like get her a castle?
- No.

I was thinking maybe
something a little more.

- Oh, like one of those little
divers that makes bubbles?

- No,
I was thinking of something

a little less aquarium related.

- I actually think she looks
sexier with that arm.

She'd be huge in Japan.

- Van, I am not leaving this
room until you do right by Alma.

- Absolutely!

I want to give her
a ton of money.

She's a hero.
Did you see

how she flung herself
in front of me

to stop the Sea Troll's blast?

- Wow, I'm so glad
you feel that way.

- I'm gonna need
verbal confirmation that

that is what you saw.
- What?

- You do not get to the top of
the corporate ladder

by getting sued.
- Oh, my God.

So this is just you protecting
your own ass?

- Are you wearing a wire?

Legally, you have to tell me.

- Okay, you know what?

Just write me a check.

- Then you'll keep quiet?

- No, it's for Alma.

- Then she'll keep quiet?

- Sure.
- Well played.

- There have been attacks
across the city,

as the Sea Troll continues
his destructive search

for Blackbeard's sword.

In unrelated news,
the Natural History Museum

is opening a special exhibit
of pirate treasure this week.

- Okay.
I was up all night working.

And I turned this into this.

Tada!
Streamlined it.

Made a few tweaks.
What do you think?

- Uh, I think Grandma's gonna

lose this controller
in the couch cushions.

- That's not for Grandma.
I made you

a market-ready prototype
so you can sell this.

- Hey, hold up.
I told you I wasn't interested.

- But you could make a fortune.
You can finally

get out of this place.
- Why would I wanna do that?

- Oh, I don't know. So you're
not stuck here for 40 years

with nothing to show for it
but a jar of olives?

- Hey, I love olives.

And Teddy, I think you might be
projecting your fears onto me.

- There's no projection.
I've been here

the next longest after Alma.
- Really?

Man, you are
very well preserved.

You don't even look like
you hit puberty.

- Thank you.
Wait--Ron, I want you

to become rich and famous
so can come back

and get me out of here and
save me from the death olives.

- I don't know what that means.

- Look, Ron, has it ever
occurred to you

that this relentless
contentment that you feel

is really just
deep, deep, deep denial

of your dream?

- No,
I'm gonna have to deny that.

Whoa.
- See?

Everyone wants something.
- I mean, I guess

I've always wanted
to climb Everest.

- And with this invention,
you can make enough money

to pay for a bunch of people
that look like me

to drag you to the top.
- Okay.

Well, maybe I have
gotten complacent.

You know what?
I'm in.

- Whoo!
Look at those handsome men.

I can see why
your grandma's into you.

- Oh, yeah.

Ooh, where did this treasure
trove of treats come from?

- Well, Van wrote a check

because he didn't
wanna get sued.

Then I got Wayne Security
to provide matching funds.

- I wish I'd been in
an emotionally scarring

and horrific accident.
- I know, right?

- Yeah.
- Oh, my God!

You guys, you shouldn't have!

- Yes, they got you
a "Get Well Alma" banner.

- Oh.
Oh!

Poor, old, sweet, heroic Alma.

You know, she threw herself
right in front of me.

- Yes, you have firmly
established your alibi, sir.

- Good.
Wow, this is a impressive,

glittering pile of crap.

Well done, Emily.
- Well, it wasn't just me.

It was a team effort.

- Oh, my God, there she is.

She smells like
day-old fish sticks.

Hey, Alma!
Looking good.

- Oh I don't know how
to thank you guys.

- We'd love to get
a quick photo.

The Gotham office
was very impressed

with this display of generosity.

- You're with the Gotham office.

Which floor?
- 96.

- Oh!

That's where the fruit
is cut fresh every day.

- Yep, so who's responsible
for this?

- Well, really,
it was team effort.

- Yeah, and I am the leader
of that team.

I'm Vanderveer Wayne.
Nice to meet you.

Generous fella and fruit lover.

- Well, let's get a photo.
- Yes, great!

Let's get it with you.
Now, don't crowd Alma!

For--get out of the--

Please, look at her.

She's malformed.
Let's do a handshake.

Oh, okay.

There we go.
- He just took all the credit

for everything you did.

Even with your
"Sound of Music" upbringing,

that has to bother you.

- Look, I didn't do it
for the credit.

Look how happy Alma is.
That's why I did this.

- There we are.
- Excuse me.

Is this Wayne Security?

- Oh, my God.
You're Archibald Stylus.

- You owe me a bathrobe.

- Archibald.
- Whoa.

- Ah.

- This is Vanderveer Wayne.

He's responsible
for all of this.

- Ah, I was so touched
by your amazing outpouring

of generosity that
the Wayne Foundation

is honoring you
with the key to the city.

- Well.
Do I have to do anything?

Just come to our awards gala.

Ah, maybe let me
take you out to lunch.

- Yes for the first one.
No to the second one.

Generous
and a great sense of humor.

I can see why that woman
took a bullet for you.

- And she did so
quite willingly.

- Mm.
- Quite willingly.

- Yes, of course.

- Emily, isn't that
your personal hero?

- Yep.
- The man you dream

of working for?
- Yes.

- Right here, showering Van

with praise for something
you did?

- Yes.
- Well...it's a good thing

that you don't care
about credit,

I mean, it's silly, really.
It's just a pamphlet

with my face on it

that every person
in the company sees.

- Yeah, right before
they spit out their gum in it.

- Yeah, a lot of very important
people chew gum, Emily.

And they're the key
to the fruit floor.

Jackie, I want it framed
and put in the lobby.

- I will hang it right next to
the picture

of you meeting Vin Diesel
in the Dallas airport, sir.

- I'm still surprised
that our similarity of names

didn't lead to more of
a conversation.

Ooh, did you see?
I even made the crossword.

Look, ten down, ten down.

- "Large multi-person vehicle."
Three letters.

- It's bus.
"Vanana" is not a fruit.

- Oh, Emily, I think you might
have a blood sugar problem.

Jackie, could you get us both
a couple of "vanana" smoothies?

- Did it ever occur to you that
a lot of people in this office

chipped in for Alma
and maybe they'd

like Corporate to know?
- She's talking about herself.

- Mm.
- No, I am not.

I have always said

the only applause
a truly good person needs

is the beating
of their own heart.

- Wow, what an odd thing
for someone to have always said.

- Everyone in this office
chipped in.

I mean, Wendy made a basket.

- Okay, I think I know
what you little piggies

are rooting around for.

Yes, I can get you
a table to the gala.

- No, Van.
That is not good enough.

- Is there free food and booze?

- God, I sometimes forget
how poor you people are.

Yes, there will be.
- Uh!

- Okay, I think we have a little
more respect for ourselves--

- We're in!
- Oink, oink, oink, oink.

- Open bar?
Sounds like a challenge, mmm.

- Who are all the squares
in the VIP section?

- Oh, just the greatest
philanthropists in the world.

- More like philathro-stiffs.

- Admit it, this is killing you.
- Not at all.

The important thing is,
we helped what's-her-face

with the squid thing.

- You just ate a toothpick.

- This room is full of
the most successful businessmen

in Charm City.

We're gonna pitch them
your drone.

- Or we can figure out which
door these tiny burgers

are coming from
and cut them off at the pass.

- Ron, okay,
I know you're nervous.

But I had this dream that
one day I come to work

and you're not in your cubical.

- Am I in the bathroom?

- No, you just got up and left.

- Oh, no, that seems
out of character for me.

- Okay, fine.
You gave two weeks notice,

we had a cake,
it was emotional, I cried.

Now stop stalling.
I have a perfect opener.

- Huh?

Ah.

Excuse me? Could we have
a moment of your time

to pitch you an idea?

- Sure.
- Eh?

- So, this drone, it reads your
brain's electrical impulses

so it can sense both
your mood and attitude

uh, to take the perfect selfie,

as it will read my confidence.

- Wow.
That's amazing.

If that really works,
I will write you

a check right now that will
change your entire life.

- My entire life?

Uh, that's a lot of my life
to change.

I mean, that must be
a very big check.

I'ma just head over
to the tiny burger door.

- And now,
the Wayne Foundation's

unsung hero,
Mr. Vanderveer Wayne.

- Friends and colleagues,

I believe co-workers
should stick together

harder than Alma's disgusting
calamari arm

would wrap around the neck
of a seal,

dragging it to the depths
to drown it.

Because I care about people.

- Can you believe people
are buying this crap?

- Now, there's someone
who deserves to share

this key with me,
and not just because

I found out it really
doesn't open anything.

I mean, nothing!
Nothing.

But without her,
none of this would be possible.

Now, she thinks I've forgotten
her, but I haven't.

Why don't you just
come up on stage, here?

- Van, that is so
sweet, but I didn't do it

for the recognition.
- That's great...

because I wasn't
talking about you.

Ehh! I was talking about Alma,
the one who saved my life.

- Oh, my.

Oh.

- Oh, my life!

- Whoo! Oh!
Oh, sorry sweetie.

Oh, my.

- Some people, huh?
Am I right?

Don't, you know--listen,
I know you can't clap anymore

'cause of that disgusting
calamari arm,

but I have always said
that the only applause

a good person needs
is the sound of the beating

of one's own heart.

- Van, that is the most

beautiful and personal
description of giving

I've ever heard.

- Hey, that is my line!

Me! I did all of this!
It was all me!

Okay, that
piece of

only got off his ass when
he was afraid he'd get sued!

I mean, he used her
as a human shield!

But really,
it's all about Alma, right?

- Everyone, take cover!

It's the Sea Troll!

- Oh, thank God.

- Unbelievable!
A super villain

attacking the gala
at a natural history museum?

- Ah!

Oh...how nice.

- Everybody surrender
to the Sea Troll.

And your valuables.

- I don't think by valuables

they mean your BFF necklace
from Claire's.

- I feel really ashamed
of my behavior.

- I've done far worse.

I once bet my dentist $20

that he didn't have the balls
to shoot a lion on safari.

He did.
He did.

Look, if you wanted credit,
you should've just taken it.

- No, but that's wrong.

A good person
shouldn't need credit.

- Oh, my God.
Are you serious?

Why do you think that Superman

has that big S on his chest?

Do you think that Batman

puts that bat logo
on his boomerangs

'cause it helps them fly?

No.

They wanna brand themselves

so that people know who it is
to advance their careers.

- Crimson Fox is here
to save you.

#Outfoxed.

- Case in point.

Look, if you wanna run
the Wayne Foundation,

you had better
step into the spotlight.

Do you think that Beyoncé
would be selling our arenas

if she had remained one of
Destiny's Children?

- Maybe you're right.
And I don't wanna end up

like what's-her-face
or the other one.

- Exactly.
There you go.

You want credit for the things
you do and that's okay.

I took credit for something
I had nothing to do with.

That's okay, too.
- No, actually, it's not.

Oh, yeah.

- So it has
a few glitches, all right?

We'll work on it together

and we'll get them next time.
- Will you stop it?

Just stop it, Teddy.
I lied to you.

I don't wanna climb Everest,
and the drone knew it.

- Well, why didn't you
just tell me that?

- Well, it seemed
to make you so unhappy

to think I was happy.

So I pretended to be unhappy
to make you happy

because seeing you happy
makes me happy.

- Oh, my God.
I can't take it.

I'm over here, Sea Troll.

I have your sword.
Take me!

- I mean, sure,
there's times at work

where I'm frustrated or bored.

I mean, I'm not a robot.
HR tests for that.

- Yeah.
- But I don't mind.

'Cause I get to work with you.

- Wow, Ron.

You are such a weirdo.
Bring it in.

- Kathy, I heard about
your hysterectomy.

Congratulations!

- Wow.

Van, what was that?

- You inspired me.

I realized that they threw
an entire gala for me

because they thought
that I cared about someone.

Can you imagine
what I could get

if I pretended to care
about a lot of these people?

- That's--that's not exactly--
- Just take the win.

- Hey, Ryan!
I love the new perm.

- So it seems all that press you
embarrassed yourself in front of

actually caught something else.

"Unsung Hero
Saves Philanthropist

Vanderveer Wayne."

Are you gonna
tell the paper it was you?

- Well, maybe I will.

Doesn't make me a bad person
to want credit.

- Oh, hey, Jackie.
Thanks so much

for driving me to the doctor
every day last week.

- Don't mention it.

- Okay, I know
you can't hear it,

but my heart is applauding you.

- Stop it,
or I'll cut it out of you.

- Gimme a hug!
- No.

- Oh, come...

Ah.

- Ha.
That's funny.