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1
00:00:41,793 --> 00:00:44,713
Okay. Oh, you know it.
2
00:00:44,879 --> 00:00:46,172
- Okay.- Okay.
3
00:00:46,339 --> 00:00:47,549
- There we go.- That's it.
4
00:00:47,716 --> 00:00:49,300
- That's good.- Okay.
5
00:00:49,384 --> 00:00:51,803
- Okay.- I'm okay.
6
00:00:52,053 --> 00:00:53,263
- Ah!
- Shh.
7
00:00:53,430 --> 00:00:54,848
Do you want me
to put a pillow
over your mouth?
8
00:00:55,056 --> 00:00:56,683
You gonna choke
me or something?
What?
9
00:00:56,850 --> 00:00:57,976
Is it like
a new sexy thing?
10
00:00:58,143 --> 00:00:59,644
No, so Stella
won't wake up.
11
00:00:59,811 --> 00:01:01,271
Oh, no, I'm sorry.
I'll just be quiet.
12
00:01:01,479 --> 00:01:02,814
Okay.
13
00:01:07,902 --> 00:01:08,903
Shh.
14
00:01:08,987 --> 00:01:10,405
I'm sorry.
15
00:01:10,572 --> 00:01:12,115
I'm
having a hard time.
16
00:01:12,323 --> 00:01:13,408
I'm a vocal lover.
17
00:01:16,703 --> 00:01:17,704
Oh.
18
00:01:18,079 --> 00:01:19,706
What was that?
Nothing.
19
00:01:19,873 --> 00:01:21,332
Just looked like
you might throw up.
I'm fine.
20
00:01:21,499 --> 00:01:23,042
You're sure?
No, I'm fine.
21
00:01:23,209 --> 00:01:25,336
Is it me? Are you
nauseated by me?
22
00:01:25,420 --> 00:01:26,421
Come on.
23
00:01:26,671 --> 00:01:28,173
Baby, you're my bear.
24
00:01:28,339 --> 00:01:30,008
You look awfully nauseous.
I'm fine.
25
00:01:30,216 --> 00:01:31,384
Did you eat
a crab salad again?
26
00:01:33,511 --> 00:01:35,180
You did,
didn't you?
No.
27
00:01:35,513 --> 00:01:37,182
Oh, no.
28
00:01:37,432 --> 00:01:38,433
Okay.
29
00:01:38,516 --> 00:01:39,517
Okay.
30
00:01:39,684 --> 00:01:40,685
Okay.
31
00:01:41,519 --> 00:01:42,896
That's fine.
32
00:01:43,563 --> 00:01:45,356
Stop. Just stop.
Sorry, it's...
33
00:01:45,857 --> 00:01:47,609
You're so sexy though.
Thanks, baby.
34
00:01:47,692 --> 00:01:48,693
You're sure
you're okay?
35
00:01:48,860 --> 00:01:51,029
Honey, I'm completely
and totally...
36
00:01:54,324 --> 00:01:55,450
Sorry.
37
00:01:55,575 --> 00:01:57,494
Baby, I think
I might be pregnant.
38
00:01:57,660 --> 00:01:59,037
That's great!
39
00:01:59,704 --> 00:02:01,915
Sweetie,
that's fantastic!
40
00:02:02,373 --> 00:02:03,416
Ugh.
41
00:02:03,500 --> 00:02:04,709
- Sorry.
- Why don't we...
42
00:02:04,834 --> 00:02:06,628
Is it weird
that I came?
43
00:02:09,380 --> 00:02:10,632
They're gonna be
here in five minutes.
44
00:02:11,007 --> 00:02:12,383
I gotta poo!
You already pooed.
45
00:02:12,550 --> 00:02:14,511
I need to poo twice
sometimes! When I'm
nervous I poo twice!
46
00:02:14,677 --> 00:02:15,720
You're gonna
have to poo later!
47
00:02:15,887 --> 00:02:17,263
Fuck! Fine!
48
00:02:19,057 --> 00:02:20,141
Stella, how do you
keep finding
49
00:02:20,225 --> 00:02:21,351
Mommy's dildo?
50
00:02:21,518 --> 00:02:23,853
Just put it
away, okay?
No.
51
00:02:24,020 --> 00:02:26,064
When did
she start saying
"no" all the time?
52
00:02:26,231 --> 00:02:28,441
I don't know.
Hide your
unmentionables.
53
00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:30,401
Hide your bongs!
54
00:02:40,912 --> 00:02:42,747
What's that smell?
It's bong water.
55
00:02:43,957 --> 00:02:45,792
Hey! Welcome home.
Hi!
56
00:02:45,959 --> 00:02:47,418
Yeah, come in.
57
00:02:47,585 --> 00:02:49,921
If you decide to buy
the house, that is.
58
00:02:50,088 --> 00:02:51,756
They might.
They like it.
59
00:02:51,923 --> 00:02:54,050
Yes. Great.
Well, yeah, so...
60
00:02:55,093 --> 00:02:57,637
Sorry. I know it's
annoying to keep on
dropping in.
61
00:02:57,804 --> 00:02:59,264
No. Not annoying at all.
Not annoying at all.
62
00:02:59,430 --> 00:03:00,765
What's annoying
about this?
63
00:03:01,015 --> 00:03:02,016
So guys,
64
00:03:03,434 --> 00:03:04,936
here's the thing.
65
00:03:05,562 --> 00:03:06,563
We'll take it!
66
00:03:06,729 --> 00:03:07,730
Oh...
67
00:03:07,814 --> 00:03:08,982
Oh, that was totally...
68
00:03:09,107 --> 00:03:10,275
All right.
69
00:03:10,775 --> 00:03:11,776
That was scary.
70
00:03:11,943 --> 00:03:12,944
We love suspense.
71
00:03:13,069 --> 00:03:14,153
Oh, boy. Look.
72
00:03:14,279 --> 00:03:16,364
Guess your daughter
found your vibrator.
73
00:03:16,447 --> 00:03:17,490
Stella.
74
00:03:17,574 --> 00:03:18,616
She just keeps
finding it.
75
00:03:18,700 --> 00:03:19,951
I don't know
what's going on.
76
00:03:20,118 --> 00:03:22,120
Stels, put that away.
No.
77
00:03:22,287 --> 00:03:23,413
Stels!
She just learned
that word.
78
00:03:23,496 --> 00:03:26,165
Don't even worry.
I think I have that
same one at home, right?
79
00:03:26,624 --> 00:03:28,293
But ours is in black.
80
00:03:31,254 --> 00:03:32,630
Black cock.
81
00:03:34,007 --> 00:03:35,383
- Yeah. Uh-huh.
- Dude.
82
00:03:35,592 --> 00:03:37,260
Maybe we should
sign some stuff.
83
00:03:37,427 --> 00:03:38,511
Why don't we.
84
00:03:38,636 --> 00:03:39,762
Yep. I think
we should do that.
85
00:03:43,349 --> 00:03:44,475
We sold our house!
We sold our house!
86
00:03:44,642 --> 00:03:45,935
We did it!
Whoo!
87
00:03:47,145 --> 00:03:49,272
Don't get too psyched
because you
haven't sold it yet.
88
00:03:49,355 --> 00:03:50,440
You're in escrow.
89
00:03:52,650 --> 00:03:54,152
What's that bullshit?
Were you trying
to fuck us over?
90
00:03:54,235 --> 00:03:55,236
What the fuck are
you talking about?
91
00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:56,613
I asked you months
ago if you understood
92
00:03:56,696 --> 00:03:58,448
what escrow was,
and you said yes.
93
00:03:58,573 --> 00:04:00,283
Just say it
one more time.
Maybe say it one more time.
94
00:04:00,366 --> 00:04:01,701
You know, just
refresh our memories.
95
00:04:01,784 --> 00:04:02,744
Okay. Very simple.
96
00:04:02,827 --> 00:04:05,830
Escrow is a 30-day period
wherein the buyer
of the new house
97
00:04:05,914 --> 00:04:07,540
gets to do
inspections and whatnot.
98
00:04:07,624 --> 00:04:09,250
And assuming
everything goes well
99
00:04:09,334 --> 00:04:12,545
and nothing changes with
the living situation to
spook them or something,
100
00:04:12,670 --> 00:04:13,713
you close. Okay?
101
00:04:13,796 --> 00:04:15,340
So wait. Do we
have escrows on
102
00:04:15,423 --> 00:04:16,883
the other house we just
bought in the suburbs?
103
00:04:16,966 --> 00:04:18,426
No. You have no
escrow on that house.
104
00:04:18,551 --> 00:04:20,011
Why
the fuck not?
105
00:04:20,219 --> 00:04:22,138
Because that house
had multiple offers.
106
00:04:22,305 --> 00:04:23,264
And you screamed
at me,
107
00:04:23,348 --> 00:04:25,058
"Do whatever
you have to do
to get that house."
108
00:04:25,224 --> 00:04:26,476
Yeah, I remember that.
109
00:04:26,643 --> 00:04:28,186
So, I did it.
So you have
no escrow there.
110
00:04:28,353 --> 00:04:30,104
And then I asked
you three times,
111
00:04:30,229 --> 00:04:32,023
"Do you understand
what escrow is?"
112
00:04:32,190 --> 00:04:33,691
And once again
113
00:04:34,192 --> 00:04:35,652
you just nodded.
114
00:04:35,777 --> 00:04:37,487
Just like you
are right now.
115
00:04:37,862 --> 00:04:39,822
This is how the real
estate crisis happened.
116
00:04:40,865 --> 00:04:43,618
Buyers can pop by
at any time, okay?
117
00:04:43,743 --> 00:04:45,244
Okay.
Okay.
118
00:04:45,411 --> 00:04:48,164
So, your 30 days
"do not fuck up" clock
starts now.
119
00:04:48,331 --> 00:04:49,749
Could you just watch
your language, please?
120
00:04:49,916 --> 00:04:51,084
She's holding a dildo.
121
00:04:51,250 --> 00:04:53,252
That's not a dildo.
That is a...
122
00:04:54,504 --> 00:04:55,463
Toy.
123
00:04:55,546 --> 00:04:57,090
From a cartoon.
124
00:04:57,256 --> 00:04:59,676
Japanese,
anime cartoon.
Mmm-hmm.
125
00:05:00,385 --> 00:05:02,595
Well, I watch that cartoon
every night.
126
00:05:03,054 --> 00:05:05,390
Ah, Jesus Christ,
man, we're getting old.
127
00:05:05,556 --> 00:05:06,557
Why do you say that?
128
00:05:06,683 --> 00:05:07,892
Because our friends
are dying.
129
00:05:08,893 --> 00:05:10,144
Who's dying?
130
00:05:10,353 --> 00:05:12,105
Do you remember
Joe Waterston?
Yeah.
131
00:05:12,355 --> 00:05:13,982
Dead.
Really?
132
00:05:14,190 --> 00:05:16,109
Yeah. Had this
little weird mole
on his shoulder.
133
00:05:16,401 --> 00:05:19,946
Was driving to
get it checked out,
hit by a bus. Dead.
134
00:05:20,530 --> 00:05:21,489
Are you okay, man?
135
00:05:21,572 --> 00:05:23,408
No, I'm not okay, man.
136
00:05:23,616 --> 00:05:25,535
I'm freaking out
about Paula
having a baby.
137
00:05:25,618 --> 00:05:26,828
I don't think
I can do it.
138
00:05:26,953 --> 00:05:28,621
Dude, you're gonna
be a good parent.
Don't worry.
139
00:05:28,788 --> 00:05:30,748
No, I'm not.
I don't know anything.
140
00:05:30,915 --> 00:05:32,375
Do you know you
can't leave
a baby alone?
141
00:05:32,542 --> 00:05:33,501
If you're at home
142
00:05:33,584 --> 00:05:36,379
and you want the baby
to stay while you go see
a movie? Unacceptable.
143
00:05:36,462 --> 00:05:37,505
That I do know.
144
00:05:37,588 --> 00:05:38,715
You knew that?
I did know that.
145
00:05:38,798 --> 00:05:40,216
How the fuck are
you gonna have two?
146
00:05:40,299 --> 00:05:42,969
I don't even understand
how that physically works.
147
00:05:43,094 --> 00:05:44,178
I'm actually
not that worried.
148
00:05:44,262 --> 00:05:45,763
I'm a good father
to one daughter.
149
00:05:45,805 --> 00:05:48,099
I think I'll be a good
father to two daughters.
150
00:05:49,851 --> 00:05:51,352
Come on.
What?
151
00:05:51,436 --> 00:05:53,104
You're
not a good father.
152
00:05:53,271 --> 00:05:55,440
Fuck you. I'm
a good parent. Okay?
153
00:05:55,606 --> 00:05:56,649
Okay, okay, okay.
Yeah.
154
00:05:56,733 --> 00:05:58,693
Well, tell yourself that,
because before you know it,
155
00:05:58,776 --> 00:06:00,862
Stella is gonna be
a tween who hates you,
156
00:06:00,945 --> 00:06:03,948
and it's gonna be your fault
because you let her
play with Kelly's dildo.
157
00:06:04,282 --> 00:06:05,700
Because you're
a bad parent.
158
00:06:05,783 --> 00:06:07,201
Me and Kelly
are good parents.
159
00:06:07,285 --> 00:06:08,703
Don't take your
shit out on me, okay?
160
00:06:08,786 --> 00:06:11,748
All I'm saying,
thank God,
I'm having a boy.
161
00:06:11,831 --> 00:06:13,958
'Cause girls
are fuckin' hard.
162
00:06:14,125 --> 00:06:15,585
What are you
talking about?
163
00:06:15,668 --> 00:06:17,420
Man, it's just easier
with boys, you know?
164
00:06:17,503 --> 00:06:19,464
Like, when a boy
gets laid, it's awesome.
165
00:06:19,630 --> 00:06:21,674
When a girl gets laid,
it's bad.
166
00:06:21,841 --> 00:06:23,009
That's not true.
167
00:06:23,176 --> 00:06:24,343
You want your
daughter to have sex?
168
00:06:24,510 --> 00:06:26,471
You're gonna be like,
"Hey, Jimmy, good news.
169
00:06:26,637 --> 00:06:27,805
"Stella just got fucked.
170
00:06:27,972 --> 00:06:29,307
"Come on over
let's have some beers."
171
00:06:53,664 --> 00:06:55,666
Yay!
Yay!
172
00:06:55,833 --> 00:06:57,877
Welcome to Phi Lambda!
173
00:06:58,044 --> 00:06:59,128
Yay!
174
00:06:59,212 --> 00:07:00,797
This is such
an exciting year.
175
00:07:00,963 --> 00:07:02,465
If you're lucky,
and you make the cut,
176
00:07:02,632 --> 00:07:04,133
you will be
joining a sisterhood
177
00:07:04,217 --> 00:07:05,718
and making best
friends for life.
178
00:07:05,885 --> 00:07:07,178
Yay!
179
00:07:07,345 --> 00:07:09,305
- We're getting a hot tub.
180
00:07:09,472 --> 00:07:10,681
Yay!
181
00:07:10,848 --> 00:07:13,351
We have all brand
new feather duvets.
182
00:07:14,185 --> 00:07:15,186
That's dope.
183
00:07:15,311 --> 00:07:17,688
And we got a new chef,
and we're going gluten-free.
184
00:07:20,775 --> 00:07:22,151
Hi. What are you doing?
185
00:07:24,946 --> 00:07:28,616
I totally should've
offered it to you first,
man. I'm sorry.
186
00:07:28,741 --> 00:07:30,326
Pecking order, you know?
187
00:07:30,493 --> 00:07:32,036
Who hits it first?
No, you go for it.
188
00:07:32,203 --> 00:07:33,788
No, we don't hit
joints here, ever.
189
00:07:33,871 --> 00:07:35,706
That's against the rules.
You're gonna have
to take that out.
190
00:07:35,873 --> 00:07:36,874
Cup!
191
00:07:38,543 --> 00:07:39,544
Cup.
192
00:07:39,627 --> 00:07:42,421
This is $12. There's
hash oil in the middle.
193
00:07:42,547 --> 00:07:43,548
Cup!
194
00:07:46,425 --> 00:07:47,969
Your parties must
totally suck ass
195
00:07:48,052 --> 00:07:49,554
if you can't smoke weed.
Am I right?
196
00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:50,721
Oh, damn!
197
00:07:50,805 --> 00:07:52,056
We don't throw parties here.
198
00:07:52,223 --> 00:07:53,266
No sorority can.
199
00:07:53,349 --> 00:07:54,851
According to the
Greek Council, we can't.
200
00:07:55,017 --> 00:07:56,394
Really?
201
00:07:56,477 --> 00:07:57,812
No, this is an actual,
real thing.
202
00:07:57,937 --> 00:07:59,272
In the United
States of America,
203
00:07:59,355 --> 00:08:02,150
sororities are not allowed
to throw parties
in their houses.
204
00:08:02,233 --> 00:08:03,568
Only frats can.
205
00:08:03,734 --> 00:08:04,902
Google it.
206
00:08:08,197 --> 00:08:09,532
Oh, my God! Really?
207
00:08:09,740 --> 00:08:10,908
You just don't party?
208
00:08:11,075 --> 00:08:12,577
No, of course
we party, stupid.
209
00:08:12,660 --> 00:08:13,995
We just do it at frats.
210
00:08:14,078 --> 00:08:15,079
Yes!
211
00:08:16,622 --> 00:08:18,166
Phi Lambda!
212
00:08:23,045 --> 00:08:24,755
Hey!
Oh, hi!
213
00:08:24,922 --> 00:08:26,924
Sorry, if
I interrupted.
No, I...
214
00:08:27,091 --> 00:08:28,259
I don't actually
know anyone here,
215
00:08:28,426 --> 00:08:29,635
so I was just
rereading old texts,
216
00:08:29,719 --> 00:08:30,761
so I don't look
like a loser.
217
00:08:31,012 --> 00:08:32,138
So was I.
218
00:08:32,263 --> 00:08:34,140
No one was texting me.
219
00:08:34,307 --> 00:08:36,058
Are you rushing
Phi Lambda?
220
00:08:36,225 --> 00:08:37,351
Yes, I'm Beth.
221
00:08:37,476 --> 00:08:38,603
I'm Shelby.
222
00:08:38,769 --> 00:08:40,396
This is exciting, right?
Yes!
223
00:08:40,563 --> 00:08:41,564
First frat party.
224
00:08:41,731 --> 00:08:43,274
Yeah, totally.
225
00:08:43,357 --> 00:08:44,400
Totally.
226
00:08:45,109 --> 00:08:47,278
Ten in the bucket.
Yeah, go.
227
00:08:47,403 --> 00:08:48,821
Hey, what's up?
Ten in the bucket.
228
00:08:48,905 --> 00:08:49,864
Okay.
229
00:08:49,947 --> 00:08:50,948
You're cool.
Get in there.
230
00:08:52,283 --> 00:08:54,118
Uh, no way.
This is all of my money.
231
00:08:54,243 --> 00:08:56,120
No, no. We got a runner!
Thank you so much!
232
00:09:15,806 --> 00:09:17,183
Oh, my God.
I feel like
this entire room
233
00:09:17,350 --> 00:09:20,311
is just a giant
arrow pointing upstairs
so they can fuck us.
234
00:09:20,478 --> 00:09:21,479
Oh, my God!
235
00:09:25,983 --> 00:09:28,027
'Sup? You wanna
go upstairs?
236
00:09:29,153 --> 00:09:30,446
Who are you asking?
237
00:09:30,613 --> 00:09:33,157
I don't wanna be rude.
I really don't
have a preference.
238
00:09:33,324 --> 00:09:34,367
No.
239
00:09:34,533 --> 00:09:35,534
'Scuse!
240
00:09:35,701 --> 00:09:38,037
This isn't exactly
what I expected, you know?
241
00:09:38,204 --> 00:09:40,665
Yeah, you mean this
fucking sucks, right?
Yeah.
242
00:09:40,831 --> 00:09:42,166
And does no one
know that the same song
243
00:09:42,291 --> 00:09:43,626
keeps playing
over and over again?
244
00:09:43,709 --> 00:09:44,710
Oh, my God, I noticed!
245
00:09:44,794 --> 00:09:46,379
And it makes me want
to blow my brains out.
246
00:09:46,462 --> 00:09:47,421
Hi, I'm Nora,
by the way.
247
00:09:47,505 --> 00:09:48,881
Hi, I'm Nora.
Yeah, no.
248
00:09:48,965 --> 00:09:50,132
Let's get
out of here!
Let's leave!
249
00:09:51,092 --> 00:09:52,802
I am so happy I
found you guys.
250
00:09:52,885 --> 00:09:54,387
That was the most
weird party ever.
251
00:09:54,512 --> 00:09:56,555
I thought college parties
were supposed to
be fun or something.
252
00:09:56,722 --> 00:09:59,016
Yeah, I felt unsafe.
253
00:09:59,183 --> 00:10:00,726
It was super
rapey in there.
254
00:10:00,893 --> 00:10:04,188
If I'm being honest,
I've never done drugs before,
255
00:10:04,355 --> 00:10:06,065
but college is
about new experiences.
256
00:10:06,232 --> 00:10:08,859
And here I am,
and I'm gonna do weed.
257
00:10:09,235 --> 00:10:10,236
Okay.
258
00:10:11,362 --> 00:10:12,530
Just take a little bit.
259
00:10:13,864 --> 00:10:15,324
Wow, that's a big hit.
260
00:10:17,034 --> 00:10:18,869
Oh, my God.
Are you okay?
261
00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:20,871
Oh, my God.
Do you need some water?
Are you okay?
262
00:10:22,373 --> 00:10:23,874
Oh, my God.
I think she's
gonna boot.
263
00:10:25,001 --> 00:10:26,168
If she boots, I boot.
264
00:10:30,339 --> 00:10:31,424
You're beautiful.
265
00:10:31,716 --> 00:10:32,758
She's good.
266
00:10:32,842 --> 00:10:34,927
I think this is
my thing now!
267
00:10:35,678 --> 00:10:37,179
I can't believe
you never smoked
in high school.
268
00:10:37,346 --> 00:10:38,431
What did you do
in high school?
269
00:10:38,556 --> 00:10:40,141
I didn't tell
you guys. Okay.
270
00:10:40,766 --> 00:10:44,562
Um, I've been in a pretty
intense relationship
since third grade.
271
00:10:44,687 --> 00:10:46,647
Oh, my God,
like Cory and Topanga?
272
00:10:48,441 --> 00:10:49,692
Stop!
Yes, exactly.
273
00:10:49,859 --> 00:10:50,818
That's such a good call.
274
00:10:50,901 --> 00:10:52,820
That's the cutest
thing I've ever heard
in my literal life.
275
00:10:52,903 --> 00:10:54,071
Yeah, exactly like that.
276
00:10:54,238 --> 00:10:57,366
Personally,
I've made love
to three men.
277
00:10:57,533 --> 00:10:58,743
Two were black.
278
00:10:59,243 --> 00:11:01,120
And one was Indian.
279
00:11:02,246 --> 00:11:04,540
Um, I've done like
everything, but...
280
00:11:05,583 --> 00:11:06,917
But what?
281
00:11:07,043 --> 00:11:08,419
Like everything you can do,
282
00:11:09,253 --> 00:11:10,588
but that one thing.
283
00:11:11,589 --> 00:11:13,632
You've never eaten
out a guy's ass before?
284
00:11:16,427 --> 00:11:17,636
No, no.
285
00:11:17,803 --> 00:11:19,263
No. I mean, I dunno.
286
00:11:19,430 --> 00:11:22,767
High school kind of sucked,
if we're being totally honest.
287
00:11:22,933 --> 00:11:25,436
Yeah, my dad was
super strict, I had
really early curfews.
288
00:11:25,686 --> 00:11:26,937
When he dropped
me off at college,
289
00:11:27,021 --> 00:11:28,230
he gave me a rape whistle
290
00:11:28,314 --> 00:11:30,775
and this huge speech on
how to behave myself
as a young woman.
291
00:11:31,108 --> 00:11:33,152
Yeah, I mean,
because of
all that I guess
292
00:11:33,319 --> 00:11:36,655
I didn't really have
much of a social life
when I was in high school.
293
00:11:36,822 --> 00:11:38,532
Girl, you don't have
to say it. We get it.
294
00:11:41,786 --> 00:11:42,828
You had no friends.
295
00:11:43,579 --> 00:11:44,747
Knock, knock, knock!
296
00:11:45,456 --> 00:11:47,291
Hey! R.A. coming through.
297
00:11:47,458 --> 00:11:49,126
What up, homies?
298
00:11:49,293 --> 00:11:50,503
Hi, Dustin!
299
00:11:50,669 --> 00:11:52,505
Kind of smells a little
funky!
300
00:11:58,260 --> 00:11:59,261
Hmm.
301
00:12:01,806 --> 00:12:03,641
Okay. Are we
done here, guys?
Um...
302
00:12:03,974 --> 00:12:05,601
First warning,
just the first warning.
303
00:12:07,978 --> 00:12:09,480
I'm kidding.
304
00:12:09,814 --> 00:12:11,357
You're adults.
You're in college.
305
00:12:11,524 --> 00:12:13,526
You scared the
crap out of me.
306
00:12:13,692 --> 00:12:14,693
Were all of you
smoking weed?
307
00:12:14,777 --> 00:12:15,736
We smoked weed.
308
00:12:15,820 --> 00:12:17,321
God damn it!
309
00:12:17,488 --> 00:12:18,823
I fucking knew it!
310
00:12:18,989 --> 00:12:22,118
You don't do drugs.
Do you?
311
00:12:22,535 --> 00:12:23,953
Okay, we're cool?
312
00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:26,622
I'll see you fools later.
Hit me up if you need me.
313
00:12:26,789 --> 00:12:27,790
Peace.
314
00:12:28,124 --> 00:12:29,500
God.
315
00:12:29,667 --> 00:12:30,793
Oh, my God.
316
00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:34,171
I am so sick and tired
of all these guys
coming into our lives
317
00:12:34,338 --> 00:12:35,673
and trying to
tell us what to do.
318
00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:37,007
We're not little
girls anymore.
319
00:12:37,216 --> 00:12:39,009
We are strong
adult women.
320
00:12:39,176 --> 00:12:41,178
Yeah, and sororities
can't even throw
their own parties.
321
00:12:41,345 --> 00:12:42,972
We can't even
enjoy the frat party.
322
00:12:43,055 --> 00:12:44,723
We can't have
fun in our dorm.
323
00:12:44,849 --> 00:12:45,850
You know what
we should do?
324
00:12:47,351 --> 00:12:49,019
We should start
our own sorority.
325
00:12:49,395 --> 00:12:51,313
One that can party
the way that we want to.
Mmm-hmm.
326
00:12:51,522 --> 00:12:53,524
And like,
most importantly,
327
00:12:53,732 --> 00:12:56,444
we can make
sisters for life.
Yeah!
328
00:12:56,527 --> 00:12:58,070
I wanna be your sister.
I wanna be your sister.
329
00:12:58,154 --> 00:12:59,155
Okay. Oh, my God!
330
00:12:59,363 --> 00:13:01,907
BFF! BFF! BFF!
331
00:13:02,074 --> 00:13:04,618
I told you guys to
shut the fuck up!
332
00:13:07,037 --> 00:13:08,664
Poker night!
333
00:13:19,216 --> 00:13:21,385
Selfie stick!
334
00:13:24,305 --> 00:13:27,349
Yeah. So I've been designing
Outback Steakhouses.
335
00:13:27,516 --> 00:13:30,019
Congrats.
Lots of Outbacks.
336
00:13:30,102 --> 00:13:31,770
But, dude, tell me
what's going on
with your app.
337
00:13:31,854 --> 00:13:33,230
Changing the world
and shit.
338
00:13:33,314 --> 00:13:34,732
You know,
one dick at a time.
339
00:13:36,609 --> 00:13:38,694
Seriously, that's
a great idea, man.
Thank you!
340
00:13:38,986 --> 00:13:40,946
An app that makes
pics of your dick bigger.
341
00:13:41,071 --> 00:13:43,032
I meant to tell you,
I enjoyed your TED Talk.
342
00:13:43,115 --> 00:13:44,742
Oh, thank you so much.
Thanks for watching.
343
00:13:45,117 --> 00:13:46,494
You're so successful.
344
00:13:46,869 --> 00:13:49,830
Well, I'm still a cop,
which is not that bad.
345
00:13:49,914 --> 00:13:51,373
You know,
it's a lot of rules now.
346
00:13:51,457 --> 00:13:53,250
We gotta wear body
cameras and all of that.
347
00:13:53,334 --> 00:13:54,585
I don't know why
they gave me one.
348
00:13:54,752 --> 00:13:55,961
It's not like I'm
gonna shoot myself.
349
00:13:56,086 --> 00:13:58,506
But, hey, I figured
if you can't
beat 'em, join 'em.
350
00:13:58,631 --> 00:14:00,674
What are you up to, man?
How you doing?
Yeah, that's real good.
351
00:14:00,758 --> 00:14:03,385
Work's been
a little bit of
a bummer.
352
00:14:03,677 --> 00:14:05,679
They eliminated
the shirtless models,
353
00:14:05,763 --> 00:14:08,933
so now I have to walk around
in this monkey suit.
354
00:14:09,266 --> 00:14:10,768
Looks like
a really soft sweater.
355
00:14:10,851 --> 00:14:11,936
And then you
know what else, too?
356
00:14:12,019 --> 00:14:14,605
I'm the oldest person
there now by six years.
357
00:14:14,772 --> 00:14:16,565
I had to cover
for my boss, Mason,
358
00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:18,442
because he had to
go to his "prom."
359
00:14:18,776 --> 00:14:20,903
When did everyone in
retail get so young?
360
00:14:21,362 --> 00:14:22,613
Hmm.
361
00:14:22,780 --> 00:14:25,115
I just feel, like,
really undervalued,
you know?
362
00:14:26,450 --> 00:14:28,202
Yeah, for real.
363
00:14:28,327 --> 00:14:30,246
At least
I have you guys.
You do!
364
00:14:30,329 --> 00:14:31,830
- I love you guys, man.
- You do.
365
00:14:31,914 --> 00:14:32,957
Delta Psi, man.
366
00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:34,458
Once a week,
Delta week
every Monday.
367
00:14:34,583 --> 00:14:35,584
Yeah.
Gotcha.
368
00:14:35,668 --> 00:14:37,670
So, uh, Darren.
Mmm-hmm.
369
00:14:38,254 --> 00:14:39,255
How much you
putting in?
370
00:14:39,630 --> 00:14:41,131
I'm going
371
00:14:42,466 --> 00:14:43,467
all in.
372
00:14:43,551 --> 00:14:45,302
Big hand!
373
00:14:45,469 --> 00:14:46,804
Man, what do you got,
a full house?
374
00:14:46,971 --> 00:14:48,055
Hopefully, one day.
375
00:14:52,393 --> 00:14:55,312
Well, you done done
me and you bet I felt it
376
00:14:55,479 --> 00:14:57,273
Oh, my God.
Our song.
377
00:14:58,315 --> 00:14:59,733
What's going on?
378
00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:01,318
I fell right
through the cracks
379
00:15:01,485 --> 00:15:04,154
Now I'm trying to get back
380
00:15:04,446 --> 00:15:07,866
Oh, I won't hesitate
381
00:15:08,075 --> 00:15:09,493
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
382
00:15:09,577 --> 00:15:11,495
No more, no more
383
00:15:11,662 --> 00:15:14,623
It cannot wait
384
00:15:14,832 --> 00:15:17,001
I'm yours
385
00:15:17,334 --> 00:15:18,502
Oh, my God.
386
00:15:18,836 --> 00:15:21,171
The Greeks believed
we were each half of a whole.
387
00:15:22,131 --> 00:15:25,551
Peter, you are
the half that
makes me whole.
388
00:15:25,634 --> 00:15:28,053
This is happening!
Oh, my God!
Is this happening?
389
00:15:28,137 --> 00:15:29,388
Look, I don't know
what the rules are.
390
00:15:29,471 --> 00:15:31,765
I don't know
who is supposed to
propose to who.
391
00:15:31,849 --> 00:15:33,267
And you're not a ring guy.
You don't have to wear it.
392
00:15:33,350 --> 00:15:35,185
You know, I guess.
No. That's okay.
393
00:15:35,352 --> 00:15:37,104
Wear it for me.
All right.
394
00:15:37,271 --> 00:15:38,480
Will you marry me,
Peter McCallister?
395
00:15:38,647 --> 00:15:40,983
Yes, you know I will!
Yes! Put it on.
396
00:15:41,525 --> 00:15:43,360
Okay, one, two, three!
397
00:15:47,531 --> 00:15:52,119
USA! USA! USA!
398
00:15:52,411 --> 00:15:53,996
Did he ever tell
you about college?
399
00:15:54,079 --> 00:15:55,581
College was crazy, man!
400
00:15:55,956 --> 00:15:57,875
He used to
just crush it.
401
00:15:58,042 --> 00:15:59,793
Slay tang.
402
00:15:59,877 --> 00:16:01,128
No.
Oh, wow.
403
00:16:01,295 --> 00:16:02,880
You were out of
your mind a little bit.
404
00:16:03,047 --> 00:16:04,381
I was figuring stuff out.
405
00:16:04,506 --> 00:16:07,092
Yeah, figuring stuff
out knee-deep in pussy.
406
00:16:07,217 --> 00:16:08,260
Oh...
407
00:16:08,344 --> 00:16:09,553
I also used to...
408
00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:11,388
I ate pussy.
409
00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:13,891
Not as much as him.
410
00:16:14,224 --> 00:16:15,726
By the way,
is it cool...
411
00:16:15,809 --> 00:16:18,479
Can we talk about
the living
situation real quick?
412
00:16:18,562 --> 00:16:20,397
Dude, don't sweat that.
Yeah?
413
00:16:20,481 --> 00:16:21,815
Darren, you can
move in any time.
414
00:16:21,899 --> 00:16:23,609
Dude, he's
basically here
every night.
415
00:16:24,068 --> 00:16:25,903
Thank you so much!
Yeah. Right. Okay.
416
00:16:26,195 --> 00:16:29,239
Seriously, though.
Would it be cool
if Darren moved in
417
00:16:29,531 --> 00:16:35,037
and then you did
not live here anymore?
418
00:16:35,245 --> 00:16:36,455
What do you mean? Why?
419
00:16:36,580 --> 00:16:39,083
I mean, we're engaged.
420
00:16:39,249 --> 00:16:41,919
What did you think
was gonna happen?
421
00:16:42,336 --> 00:16:43,671
That you two would
move into your room,
422
00:16:43,754 --> 00:16:45,964
and that I would
live in my room.
423
00:16:46,173 --> 00:16:47,716
For happily ever after.
424
00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:50,344
We're thinking maybe,
because Darren works
from home
425
00:16:50,427 --> 00:16:53,972
that maybe we would
turn it into an office.
426
00:16:54,890 --> 00:16:57,685
And then, maybe one day
427
00:16:58,268 --> 00:17:01,105
uh, a baby's room.
428
00:17:01,438 --> 00:17:03,273
No, babies are real small.
They are.
429
00:17:03,399 --> 00:17:06,402
They're tiny,
they're the size
of a little shoebox.
430
00:17:06,694 --> 00:17:08,195
Huh.
Doesn't take up
the whole room.
431
00:17:08,278 --> 00:17:09,738
Think of a counter
argument, but I...
432
00:17:09,822 --> 00:17:10,823
Yeah.
433
00:17:10,906 --> 00:17:12,282
Dude, I was just
fucking joking.
434
00:17:12,449 --> 00:17:14,785
You were fucking...
Totally fucking
with you.
435
00:17:14,952 --> 00:17:16,245
You know what?
436
00:17:16,412 --> 00:17:17,705
I need to go for a run.
437
00:17:17,871 --> 00:17:18,914
You're gonna go
right now for...
438
00:17:19,081 --> 00:17:20,582
I'm happy for you guys.
I love you guys.
439
00:17:20,874 --> 00:17:23,043
Bring it in, man. Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
440
00:17:24,628 --> 00:17:25,879
Love you, dude.
Love you, man.
441
00:17:26,213 --> 00:17:28,716
Teddy, don't you
wanna grab your
shoes, at least?
442
00:17:38,934 --> 00:17:41,437
Look, ladies,
the owner of this
house is super cool.
443
00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:44,231
He's like me.
He's cool, he's dope.
444
00:17:44,314 --> 00:17:45,524
You can do
anything here.
445
00:17:45,899 --> 00:17:49,820
You can party,
you can stay up all night,
play on your phones.
446
00:17:49,903 --> 00:17:51,613
Snapchat that shit,
I don't care.
447
00:17:51,697 --> 00:17:53,031
And smoke weed.
448
00:17:53,157 --> 00:17:55,200
The question is
can you afford it?
What's your name?
449
00:17:55,367 --> 00:17:56,368
Shelby.
Shelby.
450
00:17:56,493 --> 00:17:57,661
Look, I'm Team Shelby.
451
00:17:57,828 --> 00:17:59,496
What's your name?
Nora.
452
00:17:59,788 --> 00:18:01,248
Nora. I'm Team Nora.
453
00:18:01,832 --> 00:18:03,000
What?
Beth.
454
00:18:03,208 --> 00:18:04,293
Okay, I'm good.
455
00:18:04,418 --> 00:18:07,171
Look, girls, normally,
it's $25,000 a month.
456
00:18:07,254 --> 00:18:09,798
But I'm willing
to offer it to
you for $5,000.
457
00:18:10,007 --> 00:18:11,592
Wow.
Can you afford
five grand a month?
458
00:18:11,675 --> 00:18:12,676
No.
459
00:18:13,385 --> 00:18:16,180
Oh, I'm getting a call.
Hold on, please.
460
00:18:16,346 --> 00:18:17,514
Did his phone ring?
461
00:18:17,681 --> 00:18:19,433
I'm so sorry.
I have to
take this call.
462
00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:21,310
It's another
ragtag group of girls
463
00:18:21,393 --> 00:18:22,728
trying to start
their own sorority.
464
00:18:22,811 --> 00:18:25,022
They're real
alternative, real edgy.
465
00:18:25,189 --> 00:18:26,273
What to do?
466
00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:27,941
Guys, we gotta act fast.
What are we gonna do?
467
00:18:28,025 --> 00:18:29,568
I don't know.
We don't have
enough for a month.
468
00:18:29,651 --> 00:18:31,028
Shit, what do we do?
469
00:18:31,111 --> 00:18:32,362
I don't know.
You're looking at me
470
00:18:32,446 --> 00:18:33,655
and I don't
really know what to...
471
00:18:33,781 --> 00:18:35,532
Whoa.
Okay, guys.
472
00:18:35,616 --> 00:18:38,202
There is a beautiful
centaur sitting
thoughtfully over there.
473
00:18:38,702 --> 00:18:39,828
Who are you?
474
00:18:39,995 --> 00:18:41,705
I'm Teddy Sanders.
475
00:18:43,624 --> 00:18:45,209
I used to live here.
476
00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:47,377
- Why are you limping?
- Are you okay?
477
00:18:47,544 --> 00:18:49,671
I just ran here, barefoot.
478
00:18:50,047 --> 00:18:51,048
Really far.
479
00:18:51,215 --> 00:18:52,216
Huh.
480
00:18:52,382 --> 00:18:54,051
You guys are thinking about
renting this place?
481
00:18:54,218 --> 00:18:55,219
Maybe.
482
00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:57,221
What do you guys want
with such a big house?
483
00:18:57,304 --> 00:18:58,639
We're starting
our own sorority
484
00:18:58,722 --> 00:18:59,807
outside the system
485
00:18:59,890 --> 00:19:01,600
that can totally do
whatever it wants.
Yeah.
486
00:19:02,059 --> 00:19:04,686
Mmm-hmm.
Like throw dope-ass
parties and totally rage.
487
00:19:04,853 --> 00:19:06,146
A sorority
that can party?
488
00:19:06,396 --> 00:19:07,606
Kappa Nu.
489
00:19:07,689 --> 00:19:09,483
What's wrong with
fraternity parties?
490
00:19:09,775 --> 00:19:11,610
What isn't?
491
00:19:11,735 --> 00:19:13,529
We threw
great parties here.
492
00:19:14,071 --> 00:19:15,739
Pimps and Hoes,
493
00:19:15,906 --> 00:19:18,116
CEOs and Corporate Hoes,
494
00:19:18,575 --> 00:19:20,410
Boise Boys and Ida-Hoes.
495
00:19:20,744 --> 00:19:22,412
They're, like,
super sexist.
496
00:19:22,621 --> 00:19:24,540
Every party is,
like, themed hoe.
497
00:19:25,999 --> 00:19:27,000
I mean...
498
00:19:27,084 --> 00:19:28,252
Jeez.
499
00:19:30,587 --> 00:19:32,714
Oh, no! Oh, God!
500
00:19:33,423 --> 00:19:34,466
Mmm-hmm.
501
00:19:35,217 --> 00:19:36,260
Yeah, I see your point.
502
00:19:36,426 --> 00:19:38,512
Honestly, though,
it's kind of
a fucking moot point.
503
00:19:38,595 --> 00:19:41,682
We got to figure
out something else.
504
00:19:41,765 --> 00:19:42,891
We can't afford
this place.
505
00:19:43,100 --> 00:19:45,269
How much money
do you guys have
between the three of you?
506
00:19:45,435 --> 00:19:46,979
Maybe a few
thousand dollars.
507
00:19:47,062 --> 00:19:48,772
That's if you really
pool it all together,
508
00:19:48,897 --> 00:19:50,566
and that's for
the entire school year.
509
00:19:50,691 --> 00:19:52,526
So use that as
a down payment,
510
00:19:52,609 --> 00:19:55,028
throw a rush event,
get a bunch of members.
511
00:19:55,279 --> 00:19:56,446
They'll pay their dues,
512
00:19:56,530 --> 00:19:58,824
plus you'll have
an army of people
to make money for you.
513
00:19:58,907 --> 00:20:01,159
And then pretty
soon, you're
a full-fledged sorority.
514
00:20:01,243 --> 00:20:03,245
Right? Do you guys have
the rental agreement?
515
00:20:03,412 --> 00:20:07,416
I don't understand
one thing that
you just said to us.
516
00:20:07,541 --> 00:20:09,459
Last week,
I was sleeping
in a bunk bed.
517
00:20:09,543 --> 00:20:10,544
Yeah.
518
00:20:10,627 --> 00:20:11,879
I can't make an Eggo!
519
00:20:11,962 --> 00:20:13,547
I can't make one.
I don't know how.
520
00:20:13,630 --> 00:20:15,591
We're 18.
We know what
we wanna do.
521
00:20:15,757 --> 00:20:17,801
We have no earthly idea
how to accomplish it.
522
00:20:17,968 --> 00:20:20,304
I ran Delta Psi
for four years.
523
00:20:20,637 --> 00:20:22,723
I could definitely
help you.
Okay.
524
00:20:23,015 --> 00:20:25,058
I mean, would
that be, like,
525
00:20:25,893 --> 00:20:27,603
of value to you?
526
00:20:28,186 --> 00:20:31,982
Yeah, that'd be,
like, of tremendous value.
527
00:20:32,316 --> 00:20:33,317
Really?
528
00:20:34,568 --> 00:20:35,777
We should, like, celebrate!
529
00:20:35,861 --> 00:20:36,862
Yeah!
Okay.
530
00:20:36,945 --> 00:20:39,406
Dude, who wants to
take a rip on the zip?
531
00:20:39,698 --> 00:20:40,908
Go for it!
Dude, check this out!
532
00:20:40,991 --> 00:20:41,992
Okay.
533
00:20:42,910 --> 00:20:44,745
I swear, we used to
ride this baby tandem.
534
00:20:45,495 --> 00:20:47,414
Check this out. Delta Psi!
535
00:20:48,332 --> 00:20:49,374
Oh...
536
00:20:49,458 --> 00:20:50,500
Dude, are you okay?
537
00:20:50,667 --> 00:20:52,461
I'm fine.
Yeah, I'm good.
538
00:20:52,628 --> 00:20:54,421
Legally, this is
not my responsibility.
539
00:20:55,255 --> 00:20:56,298
We'll take it.
540
00:20:57,341 --> 00:20:58,425
Dope!
541
00:20:59,843 --> 00:21:00,928
Are you okay, dude?
542
00:21:01,053 --> 00:21:02,137
Yeah, I'm totally fine.
543
00:21:02,429 --> 00:21:03,430
I'm really hyped.
544
00:21:03,513 --> 00:21:04,765
I think it's gonna be
the perfect house for us.
545
00:21:04,932 --> 00:21:05,933
Yeah,
I'm so excited, you guys.
546
00:21:06,099 --> 00:21:07,351
It's gonna be good.
547
00:21:07,517 --> 00:21:09,186
- I'll see you guys soon.
- Thank you.
548
00:21:09,353 --> 00:21:10,354
Thanks.
549
00:21:10,437 --> 00:21:11,438
Is that Teddy Sanders?
550
00:21:11,521 --> 00:21:13,148
Oh, shit. Oh, no.
Who are they?
551
00:21:13,231 --> 00:21:14,608
Go, go, go.
Guys, go.
552
00:21:14,691 --> 00:21:16,026
Go, get out of here.
I'll explain later, okay?
553
00:21:17,194 --> 00:21:19,029
Mac! Kelly! Hey!
Yo!
554
00:21:19,196 --> 00:21:20,197
What's going on?
555
00:21:20,364 --> 00:21:21,365
What's going on, man?
556
00:21:21,698 --> 00:21:23,116
What are you
guys doing here?
557
00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:25,202
You live here.
Yeah, of course.
Who are they?
558
00:21:25,285 --> 00:21:26,453
Don't worry about them.
559
00:21:26,536 --> 00:21:27,537
Okay.
560
00:21:27,621 --> 00:21:29,039
So, I see you
guys are moving?
561
00:21:29,206 --> 00:21:30,457
Moving on up, yeah.
562
00:21:30,624 --> 00:21:31,708
Well, heck.
563
00:21:31,875 --> 00:21:33,543
You could have done that
when I was living here.
564
00:21:33,710 --> 00:21:35,212
That would have
been nice.
565
00:21:35,379 --> 00:21:36,880
Yeah, I know.
Just weren't
ready yet.
566
00:21:37,214 --> 00:21:39,549
I have a criminal
record now
because of you guys.
567
00:21:40,384 --> 00:21:42,302
Look out.
568
00:21:42,469 --> 00:21:44,930
No, for real.
Like, it's hard
to get jobs.
569
00:21:46,098 --> 00:21:47,099
So, it's been
really tough.
570
00:21:47,182 --> 00:21:48,350
So, what are you
doing here? Buddy.
571
00:21:48,475 --> 00:21:49,643
Yeah, what brings
you to the hood?
572
00:21:49,726 --> 00:21:51,228
You guys will
find out soon enough.
573
00:21:51,395 --> 00:21:52,396
What does that mean?
Huh?
574
00:21:52,479 --> 00:21:54,147
Don't worry about it.
It's cool.
575
00:21:54,564 --> 00:21:56,900
It's good to see you guys.
Kind of missed you.
576
00:21:57,067 --> 00:21:58,068
See you soon.
577
00:21:58,610 --> 00:21:59,820
All right. See ya.
578
00:22:14,167 --> 00:22:16,253
Yo. You wanna rush
the coolest sorority ever?
579
00:22:16,336 --> 00:22:17,587
This is the one.
580
00:22:17,754 --> 00:22:21,091
Kappa Nu
welcomes you.
581
00:22:41,278 --> 00:22:42,988
What the hell?
582
00:22:44,281 --> 00:22:45,449
Oh.
583
00:22:46,283 --> 00:22:48,035
There's people there.
584
00:22:48,118 --> 00:22:49,661
Somebody move in?
585
00:22:49,911 --> 00:22:52,080
Excuse me, ladies.
Excuse me.
586
00:22:52,539 --> 00:22:54,124
Hi.
Hi.
587
00:22:54,207 --> 00:22:55,751
What the fuck?
588
00:22:55,834 --> 00:22:57,586
What's happening here?
589
00:22:57,669 --> 00:22:59,629
"Kappa Nu. Wants you."
What the fuck?
590
00:22:59,713 --> 00:23:01,673
Hi! We're your neighbours.
Hi. Hello!
591
00:23:01,757 --> 00:23:02,716
Oh, hi.
592
00:23:02,799 --> 00:23:04,593
Mac and Kelly.
Hi, I'm Kelly.
593
00:23:04,676 --> 00:23:07,387
Are your parents around
or something like that?
594
00:23:07,554 --> 00:23:08,764
Oh, no, no, no.
595
00:23:08,930 --> 00:23:10,557
Meet the girls
of Kappa Nu.
596
00:23:11,058 --> 00:23:12,100
What's that then?
597
00:23:12,225 --> 00:23:13,602
It's our sorority.
598
00:23:16,063 --> 00:23:20,650
Hi, neighbours!
599
00:23:21,359 --> 00:23:23,695
Do you want
a beer or a mocktail?
600
00:23:23,862 --> 00:23:25,572
Like a mommy mocktail?
Congratulations.
601
00:23:25,739 --> 00:23:27,032
Oh, sure.
I'll take a mocktail.
602
00:23:27,157 --> 00:23:29,034
Get this woman
a mocktail.
603
00:23:29,117 --> 00:23:30,410
Great. Thank you.
604
00:23:30,494 --> 00:23:32,496
Shelby will get
them for you.
Thank you.
605
00:23:32,662 --> 00:23:34,122
Thanks a lot.
606
00:23:34,539 --> 00:23:36,374
What the fuck?
What are we gonna do?
607
00:23:36,541 --> 00:23:37,918
I don't fucking know.
608
00:23:38,001 --> 00:23:40,462
The buyers are not
gonna want to live
next to a house
609
00:23:40,587 --> 00:23:41,838
with a fucking
sorority in it.
610
00:23:42,005 --> 00:23:43,090
Is now a good
time to freak out?
No, no.
611
00:23:43,256 --> 00:23:44,382
Should I freak out?
No, no, no.
612
00:23:44,549 --> 00:23:45,759
Should I start screaming?
Come on. No, no.
613
00:23:46,009 --> 00:23:47,719
Okay, look.
614
00:23:47,844 --> 00:23:49,638
We've just gotta
convince them to chill.
615
00:23:49,721 --> 00:23:51,723
We just need them
to behave themselves.
616
00:23:51,807 --> 00:23:53,266
We just ask them
not to party
while we're escrow.
617
00:23:53,350 --> 00:23:54,351
We'll be fine.
618
00:23:54,434 --> 00:23:56,770
As soon as
we're not escrow,
go fucking apeshit.
619
00:23:57,020 --> 00:23:58,063
Hey, guys.
620
00:23:58,188 --> 00:23:59,689
Hey.
What's up?
621
00:23:59,773 --> 00:24:02,359
Um, can we have
a quick chat with you
guys for a second?
622
00:24:02,442 --> 00:24:04,444
We kind of had
a question for you guys.
623
00:24:04,611 --> 00:24:06,905
You see, we live next door,
we just sold our house,
624
00:24:06,988 --> 00:24:09,032
and we're escrowing
for the next 30 days.
625
00:24:09,116 --> 00:24:12,452
And, basically,
if anything happens
that spooks those buyers,
626
00:24:12,536 --> 00:24:16,373
they'll pull out of the deal,
and we'll own two
homes and be fucked.
627
00:24:16,540 --> 00:24:20,710
So it'd just be
great if you could
be mellow and low-key,
628
00:24:20,877 --> 00:24:23,880
and just basically
not party for 30 days.
And that's it.
629
00:24:23,964 --> 00:24:25,048
Then we'll be gone.
You go crazy.
630
00:24:25,173 --> 00:24:26,258
We'll be out of
your hair. Yeah.
631
00:24:26,383 --> 00:24:27,384
Um...
632
00:24:28,343 --> 00:24:29,553
Well, here's the thing.
633
00:24:29,719 --> 00:24:34,558
A really big part of us
creating this
sorority is because
634
00:24:34,808 --> 00:24:37,519
fraternities are
allowed to party
635
00:24:37,644 --> 00:24:40,355
and sororities are
not allowed to party.
636
00:24:40,522 --> 00:24:41,731
Really?
What?
637
00:24:41,898 --> 00:24:44,234
Yeah, so partying is
a really big deal for us.
638
00:24:44,526 --> 00:24:46,403
And you guys have
a daughter, I'm sure
639
00:24:46,528 --> 00:24:48,405
you'd want her to have
equal rights as guys.
640
00:24:49,322 --> 00:24:53,618
As a man, I could not
agree with you more,
641
00:24:53,743 --> 00:24:56,830
and could not
support your cause more.
642
00:24:56,913 --> 00:25:00,167
I think my wife has
some thoughts though
643
00:25:00,250 --> 00:25:02,836
on maybe why you guys
could approach
this differently.
644
00:25:03,086 --> 00:25:04,254
Kelly.
What?
645
00:25:05,297 --> 00:25:06,339
Take it.
646
00:25:07,424 --> 00:25:09,176
Ladies, we can come
to some sort of
647
00:25:09,259 --> 00:25:11,094
compromise here,
can't we?
648
00:25:11,178 --> 00:25:13,555
I'm sure maybe...
No means no!
649
00:25:13,930 --> 00:25:14,931
'Sup, neighbours?
650
00:25:15,140 --> 00:25:16,183
Teddy?
651
00:25:16,266 --> 00:25:17,517
Welcome to soon enough.
652
00:25:18,602 --> 00:25:19,853
What does that mean?
653
00:25:20,103 --> 00:25:21,521
You don't remember
when I told you
654
00:25:21,646 --> 00:25:23,064
that you'd find
out soon enough?
655
00:25:23,690 --> 00:25:25,442
I think a lot of this
is going on in your head.
656
00:25:25,609 --> 00:25:27,235
I'm mentoring this sorority.
657
00:25:27,360 --> 00:25:28,653
Why?
That's a thing?
658
00:25:28,778 --> 00:25:29,779
Yes, it's a thing.
659
00:25:29,905 --> 00:25:30,947
Why are you doing that?
660
00:25:31,114 --> 00:25:33,491
I don't know.
Why do butterflies fly?
661
00:25:33,575 --> 00:25:34,659
To drink nectar.
662
00:25:35,410 --> 00:25:38,163
I don't know why
things do what they do,
but what I do
663
00:25:38,538 --> 00:25:41,791
is facilitate the act of
partying in this house.
664
00:25:41,958 --> 00:25:42,959
What?
665
00:25:43,293 --> 00:25:44,836
So let's rage!
666
00:25:50,550 --> 00:25:52,135
Missed you guys.
667
00:25:54,971 --> 00:25:57,390
These are the rules for
a successful sorority.
668
00:25:57,474 --> 00:25:58,475
Rule number one.
669
00:25:58,683 --> 00:26:01,478
Use these money buckets
to keep track of your cash.
670
00:26:01,561 --> 00:26:04,481
Five buckets a month
equals house rent.
671
00:26:04,773 --> 00:26:05,815
Rule number two.
672
00:26:06,316 --> 00:26:09,152
Keep getting pledges
and you can dress
them up like idiots.
673
00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:11,696
Minions! Minions!
674
00:26:11,821 --> 00:26:13,949
They got a hilarious
army of fucking Minions.
675
00:26:14,157 --> 00:26:15,825
I love Minions,
and now I have
to hate them.
676
00:26:15,951 --> 00:26:17,494
They're making me
hate something I love.
677
00:26:21,665 --> 00:26:24,167
Rule number three.
Throw the type of parties
678
00:26:24,251 --> 00:26:26,002
that show what you
guys are all about.
679
00:26:26,086 --> 00:26:27,671
Hillary Clinton.
680
00:26:27,754 --> 00:26:30,715
Joan of Arc orders
you to pass the joint.
681
00:26:30,966 --> 00:26:32,425
First Lady
Hillary Clinton?
682
00:26:32,592 --> 00:26:34,177
Or Senator
Hillary Clinton?
683
00:26:34,302 --> 00:26:35,804
Or future President
Hillary Clinton?
684
00:26:36,596 --> 00:26:38,723
Oprah, we're out of beer.
685
00:26:38,807 --> 00:26:40,850
Everybody look
under their chairs.
686
00:26:41,601 --> 00:26:43,853
You're all
getting beer!
687
00:26:44,854 --> 00:26:48,275
You get a beer,
you get a beer,
you get a beer.
688
00:26:48,525 --> 00:26:49,859
I love you, Oprah.
689
00:26:50,026 --> 00:26:51,486
Could you
please be quiet?
690
00:26:51,653 --> 00:26:53,363
- Shut up!
- Shut up!
691
00:26:56,449 --> 00:26:58,243
I cannot tell you
how thankful I am...
692
00:27:00,954 --> 00:27:02,956
I love you so much.
693
00:27:09,296 --> 00:27:12,173
It's not fair!
They're too young!
694
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:19,889
Why don't
they shut up!
695
00:27:20,056 --> 00:27:21,308
- Just stop it!
- Stop it!
696
00:27:21,474 --> 00:27:22,517
Shut up!
697
00:27:34,195 --> 00:27:35,196
Please.
Please!
698
00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:36,489
We're begging you!
All right, listen.
699
00:27:36,573 --> 00:27:40,160
I cannot shut down
a sorority that's trying
to become independent.
700
00:27:40,243 --> 00:27:41,244
Why not?
701
00:27:41,328 --> 00:27:43,330
It's a PR nightmare.
702
00:27:43,413 --> 00:27:44,664
What's the nightmare?
703
00:27:44,748 --> 00:27:45,749
For example,
704
00:27:45,832 --> 00:27:49,336
"Sexist female dean
shuts down sorority."
705
00:27:50,420 --> 00:27:52,422
That is reverse sexism.
706
00:27:52,589 --> 00:27:54,090
Which is,
in and of itself,
707
00:27:54,174 --> 00:27:55,383
a sexist thing to do.
708
00:27:55,592 --> 00:27:58,928
There's no such thing
as reverse sexism,
Mr. White Man.
709
00:27:59,846 --> 00:28:01,765
Oh, okay. Hey,
don't talk to me
like that,
710
00:28:01,848 --> 00:28:03,016
because I am Jewish.
711
00:28:03,099 --> 00:28:04,100
I am a minority.
712
00:28:04,225 --> 00:28:06,603
Well, less of you.
Like Labradoodles.
713
00:28:06,686 --> 00:28:07,771
Okay.
714
00:28:07,937 --> 00:28:10,774
Look, if they get
three strikes they have
to shut down, right?
715
00:28:10,940 --> 00:28:12,942
As far as I'm concerned,
they have infinite strikes.
716
00:28:13,109 --> 00:28:15,445
I see we're playing outside
the rules of the system,
717
00:28:15,612 --> 00:28:17,739
so why don't
we go to Plan B?
718
00:28:17,906 --> 00:28:22,369
Here's a little something
to change your mind.
719
00:28:22,994 --> 00:28:24,329
Mmm.
720
00:28:27,123 --> 00:28:28,750
Do we have a deal,
chancellor?
721
00:28:28,833 --> 00:28:29,834
No.
722
00:28:29,918 --> 00:28:31,294
You know what,
fuck you!
723
00:28:31,378 --> 00:28:32,587
Unleash the hounds,
sweetie.
724
00:28:32,754 --> 00:28:34,881
That's how you talk
in front of your daughter?
725
00:28:35,048 --> 00:28:36,383
Oh, I think we know
how to be parents.
726
00:28:36,466 --> 00:28:38,843
She's a baby, "A."
She doesn't retain
any of that shit.
727
00:28:38,927 --> 00:28:40,387
Well, yes she will.
No, she doesn't.
728
00:28:40,470 --> 00:28:41,471
Watch.
729
00:28:41,805 --> 00:28:43,431
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
730
00:28:43,598 --> 00:28:44,641
Fuck.
731
00:28:45,725 --> 00:28:47,811
What's she
watching on her iPad?
Goodfellas.
732
00:28:48,019 --> 00:28:49,896
Ha, ha, ha.
Jokes on you.
733
00:28:49,979 --> 00:28:51,815
I don't know
what she's
watching on that iPad.
734
00:28:53,566 --> 00:28:54,609
What are
we gonna do?
735
00:28:54,776 --> 00:28:55,985
We have an inspection soon.
736
00:28:56,152 --> 00:28:58,279
The buyers could literally
drive by at any moment,
737
00:28:58,363 --> 00:28:59,989
say, "Oh, the house
has a few leaks,
738
00:29:00,073 --> 00:29:01,741
"and there's 20
fucking psychopathic
739
00:29:01,825 --> 00:29:03,159
"teenagers living
next door."
740
00:29:03,284 --> 00:29:04,577
We're gonna
have two houses.
741
00:29:04,661 --> 00:29:05,787
And then we'll
have no houses.
742
00:29:05,870 --> 00:29:07,122
And then we're screwed.
743
00:29:07,247 --> 00:29:08,248
We're totally screwed.
744
00:29:08,331 --> 00:29:09,666
Hi, sweetie. Hi, baby.
Hey.
745
00:29:09,833 --> 00:29:10,834
We just got to
get rid of them.
746
00:29:10,959 --> 00:29:12,001
I couldn't talk
to those girls.
747
00:29:12,127 --> 00:29:13,253
No. We had middle
ground with the guys.
748
00:29:13,336 --> 00:29:14,462
We could talk
to the guys.
749
00:29:14,546 --> 00:29:15,922
Yes!
They look at us like
750
00:29:16,005 --> 00:29:17,799
it was like their
grandparents walked
into that house.
751
00:29:17,966 --> 00:29:20,510
Right?
Stella is not gonna
turn out like that.
752
00:29:20,593 --> 00:29:21,594
No.
No.
753
00:29:21,678 --> 00:29:23,304
She'll be our
best friend forever.
Yeah.
754
00:29:23,430 --> 00:29:25,390
She loves talking
to us. Yeah.
We're a team.
755
00:29:25,473 --> 00:29:26,558
Right, Stella?
756
00:29:26,641 --> 00:29:28,476
Come over here, Stella.
Come here.
757
00:29:30,770 --> 00:29:32,188
Honey, wanna
come over here?
758
00:29:32,272 --> 00:29:35,024
What the fuck?
What the fuck is
wrong with her?
759
00:29:35,733 --> 00:29:37,694
Play with your toy, sweetie.
Play with your toy.
760
00:29:37,777 --> 00:29:39,571
Just keep
playing with your toy.
Give him a kiss.
761
00:29:39,654 --> 00:29:41,489
You know who
kids listen to?
762
00:29:41,698 --> 00:29:43,825
Their parents.
Celebrities.
Their parents.
763
00:29:45,702 --> 00:29:46,828
What's up...
764
00:29:46,995 --> 00:29:48,329
Hey, Dad!
765
00:29:48,455 --> 00:29:49,456
You started a sorority?
766
00:29:49,539 --> 00:29:50,790
You're supposed to
be living in the dorm,
767
00:29:50,874 --> 00:29:53,001
not in some old
dilapidated mansion!
768
00:29:53,084 --> 00:29:54,127
This is what you want?
769
00:29:54,210 --> 00:29:56,171
You wanna live like some
sort of a drifter murderer?
770
00:29:56,254 --> 00:29:57,547
I can do whatever
I want here.
771
00:29:57,714 --> 00:29:58,798
Dad, that's the
point of college.
772
00:29:58,882 --> 00:29:59,924
I'm my own parent.
773
00:30:00,008 --> 00:30:01,968
When did you start
talking like Eminem?
774
00:30:02,051 --> 00:30:04,179
I'm gonna talk like this.
I'm gonna talk like that.
775
00:30:04,345 --> 00:30:05,472
This is ridiculous!
776
00:30:05,555 --> 00:30:07,182
Look at that pizza,
how old is that?
777
00:30:07,265 --> 00:30:09,184
The cheese is moldy on that.
778
00:30:09,392 --> 00:30:10,518
Cheese is mold.
779
00:30:10,727 --> 00:30:12,228
I can eat it,
whenever I want it.
780
00:30:12,312 --> 00:30:14,189
God, have you
inherited my stupid gene?
781
00:30:14,272 --> 00:30:15,273
Look at you.
782
00:30:15,356 --> 00:30:16,983
So you get to be just
as dumb as boys now?
783
00:30:17,066 --> 00:30:18,318
Is that what you
learned here?
784
00:30:18,401 --> 00:30:19,569
You are going
back to the dorm!
785
00:30:19,652 --> 00:30:21,529
No! This is where
I chose to live.
786
00:30:21,613 --> 00:30:23,448
It is only Kappa Nu.
787
00:30:27,076 --> 00:30:29,537
Looks like my
little girl's growing up.
788
00:30:31,831 --> 00:30:32,916
Thanks, Dad.
789
00:30:33,875 --> 00:30:37,837
I can buy your
girlfriends and you
some brunch, if you want?
790
00:30:38,004 --> 00:30:39,255
I kind of need
some new jeans.
791
00:30:39,380 --> 00:30:40,590
Oh, we can go
shopping then.
792
00:30:40,757 --> 00:30:42,008
Yeah, cool.
793
00:30:43,259 --> 00:30:44,761
How did it go?
Yeah. They
gonna be cool?
794
00:30:44,844 --> 00:30:46,012
Did you punish
them or whatever?
795
00:30:46,095 --> 00:30:48,515
I tried my best,
but there's
nothing I can do.
796
00:30:48,598 --> 00:30:49,599
What do you mean?
What?
797
00:30:49,682 --> 00:30:50,683
Ah. You'll know.
798
00:30:50,767 --> 00:30:52,227
When they're two
years old, you can
799
00:30:52,352 --> 00:30:53,811
get them to do
almost anything you want.
800
00:30:53,895 --> 00:30:55,939
Get a little bit older,
and it's harder
to control them.
801
00:30:56,231 --> 00:30:58,650
I do not understand
a word she says.
802
00:30:59,067 --> 00:31:01,736
But it was good
to see her.
803
00:31:01,903 --> 00:31:04,572
The house is
so quiet without her.
Oh...
804
00:31:08,201 --> 00:31:09,202
I'm fine.
805
00:31:09,577 --> 00:31:10,578
Gosh.
806
00:31:11,079 --> 00:31:12,288
Beautiful child.
807
00:31:13,873 --> 00:31:14,874
Can I hold her?
808
00:31:14,958 --> 00:31:17,627
No, no, no.
That's okay.
That's great.
809
00:31:18,002 --> 00:31:19,879
Is that a dildo
dressed as a princess?
810
00:31:20,171 --> 00:31:24,217
Nope. That is a popular
children's cartoon
character of today.
811
00:31:26,052 --> 00:31:27,637
Thank you
for trying.
812
00:31:28,930 --> 00:31:30,223
- Hey, meanies!
- Hi!
813
00:31:30,390 --> 00:31:31,724
You called my parents?
814
00:31:32,100 --> 00:31:33,476
Yes, we did
call your parents.
815
00:31:33,601 --> 00:31:34,978
Yes. We did.
We actually did.
816
00:31:35,061 --> 00:31:36,062
Oh, really?
817
00:31:36,229 --> 00:31:37,981
It's 30 days!
It's just 30 days!
818
00:31:38,147 --> 00:31:40,233
It's 30 days!
Then we won't
be escrow!
819
00:31:40,316 --> 00:31:42,694
Then we'll be
out of your hair!
It's 30 fucking days.
820
00:31:42,777 --> 00:31:44,571
It's all
we're asking for.
821
00:31:44,779 --> 00:31:45,822
It's on.
822
00:31:45,989 --> 00:31:47,240
No, no, no.
No.
823
00:31:47,323 --> 00:31:49,075
Nothing's on.
Why would it be on?
824
00:31:49,158 --> 00:31:50,994
No, it's on.
But we're
turning it off.
825
00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:53,329
If we turned it on,
we can turn it off.
Can we just turn it off?
826
00:31:53,413 --> 00:31:54,414
It's on.
827
00:31:56,457 --> 00:31:59,085
Hey, Mac!
Hey, Mac!
828
00:32:01,170 --> 00:32:03,673
Great! I see more
of you have moved in.
829
00:32:05,008 --> 00:32:07,677
This is private property.
You're trespassing.
830
00:32:07,844 --> 00:32:09,178
Hey, Mac.
831
00:32:09,345 --> 00:32:11,598
Looks like Beth needs some
suntan lotion on her.
832
00:32:11,681 --> 00:32:12,974
I think
she's okay.
833
00:32:13,057 --> 00:32:14,851
Leave me alone.
You're not going.
834
00:32:18,187 --> 00:32:19,397
Where am I?
835
00:32:25,445 --> 00:32:26,613
Oh, no.
836
00:32:26,696 --> 00:32:27,905
I killed a girl!
837
00:32:29,032 --> 00:32:30,658
I'm on painkillers,
motherfucker!
838
00:32:30,742 --> 00:32:31,784
Kappa Nu!
839
00:32:33,202 --> 00:32:35,371
What the fuck is
wrong with you?
840
00:32:38,166 --> 00:32:40,376
Get away! Go away!
841
00:32:44,380 --> 00:32:46,007
Get out of here,
you animals!
842
00:32:46,132 --> 00:32:47,634
This isn't working!
843
00:32:47,759 --> 00:32:49,344
You're only
making them sexier!
844
00:32:51,554 --> 00:32:55,141
I don't like it!
I don't like it!
845
00:32:57,226 --> 00:32:58,895
What the hell was that?
Was that a bird?
846
00:33:04,442 --> 00:33:06,194
What the hell is that?
847
00:33:10,031 --> 00:33:11,074
Oh, no!
848
00:33:11,199 --> 00:33:12,241
Oh, God! Tampons!
849
00:33:12,408 --> 00:33:13,409
Oh, that's filthy!
850
00:33:13,534 --> 00:33:14,744
Stop it, you animals!
851
00:33:15,244 --> 00:33:16,746
Get off! Stop it!
Oh!
852
00:33:16,913 --> 00:33:18,039
Oh, my God! Mac!
853
00:33:18,414 --> 00:33:20,041
The other window is open!
854
00:33:23,836 --> 00:33:25,505
That was really funny!
855
00:33:25,588 --> 00:33:27,507
Where'd you guys get
so much fake blood?
856
00:33:27,590 --> 00:33:29,342
Oh, from our vaginas.
857
00:33:29,425 --> 00:33:30,426
That was real?
858
00:33:30,510 --> 00:33:33,054
Yeah, it was our
uterine wall
sloughing off.
859
00:33:33,388 --> 00:33:34,931
You just threw...
860
00:33:35,098 --> 00:33:37,266
That was really gross.
861
00:33:38,935 --> 00:33:40,770
Ugh. Why'd
you do that?
862
00:33:40,853 --> 00:33:42,689
That was way
over the line.
863
00:33:42,855 --> 00:33:44,357
Whoa. That's,
like, super sexist.
864
00:33:44,440 --> 00:33:46,192
It was really
fucking funny.
865
00:33:46,359 --> 00:33:47,402
You would've been like,
866
00:33:47,485 --> 00:33:49,237
"It's so funny,"
if it was a bag of dicks.
867
00:33:49,404 --> 00:33:51,322
"Look, it's a bag of
dicks on the window!"
868
00:33:51,406 --> 00:33:52,615
No, that...
869
00:33:56,452 --> 00:33:58,079
A bag of dicks.
870
00:34:01,791 --> 00:34:03,793
Yeah, you got me.
That's funny.
871
00:34:04,669 --> 00:34:05,962
A bag of dicks.
872
00:34:07,964 --> 00:34:09,924
Here's the deal.
First inspection, tomorrow.
873
00:34:10,091 --> 00:34:11,884
We need help.
We have to get
rid of the girls
874
00:34:12,009 --> 00:34:13,678
tomorrow, from the house,
between 10:00 and 5:00.
875
00:34:13,761 --> 00:34:14,721
Exactly.
876
00:34:14,804 --> 00:34:17,849
If our home
owners see these girls,
our escrowment's gonna end.
877
00:34:17,932 --> 00:34:19,058
And these girls
are fucked, man.
878
00:34:19,183 --> 00:34:20,309
They're from
another fucking planet.
879
00:34:20,393 --> 00:34:21,769
Yeah. They're
worse than the guys.
880
00:34:21,853 --> 00:34:24,313
Look. Brainstorming
sesh starting now.
881
00:34:24,647 --> 00:34:26,649
Guys, a play
on a classic.
882
00:34:26,816 --> 00:34:28,484
We "hoes
before bros" them.
883
00:34:28,651 --> 00:34:29,736
No, no, no.
884
00:34:29,902 --> 00:34:30,987
No. That's not
gonna work.
Why?
885
00:34:31,028 --> 00:34:33,030
Because you put hoes
before bros. Always.
Yeah.
886
00:34:33,281 --> 00:34:35,158
It worked with the guys.
Why won't it
work with the girls?
887
00:34:35,324 --> 00:34:37,285
Because girls are
much smarter than guys!
888
00:34:37,452 --> 00:34:38,578
That is sexist!
889
00:34:38,745 --> 00:34:40,496
- That's not sexist.
- What is it?
890
00:34:40,663 --> 00:34:42,123
Not when it's
against guys.
891
00:34:42,206 --> 00:34:43,332
That's not sexist.
892
00:34:43,499 --> 00:34:45,001
I don't even
know what's sexist.
893
00:34:45,168 --> 00:34:46,419
Hey, men's rights.
894
00:34:46,586 --> 00:34:48,004
No, fuck you!
895
00:34:48,171 --> 00:34:49,589
Are you okay?
Why are you itching?
896
00:34:49,672 --> 00:34:50,715
What's wrong with you?
897
00:34:50,798 --> 00:34:52,008
Did you get poison
oak or something?
898
00:34:52,175 --> 00:34:53,301
Here's the deal.
899
00:34:54,135 --> 00:34:55,136
We got bedbugs.
900
00:34:55,219 --> 00:34:56,846
- No! Gross!
- Oh, my God!
901
00:34:56,929 --> 00:34:57,930
I'm sorry.
I come to this
restaurant.
902
00:34:58,014 --> 00:34:59,098
I don't wanna
be embarrassed.
903
00:34:59,182 --> 00:35:00,433
That's even worse!
Don't embarrass us!
904
00:35:00,516 --> 00:35:01,601
It's gross!
905
00:35:01,684 --> 00:35:03,603
Hey, it's fine, okay?
We're dealing
with the problem.
906
00:35:03,686 --> 00:35:05,772
We tented our house.
We have to be
out for three days.
907
00:35:09,650 --> 00:35:12,445
This is such a
good idea. These clothes
have so many bedbugs.
908
00:35:12,528 --> 00:35:14,113
Just shut up,
we just gotta
infest them fast!
909
00:35:14,197 --> 00:35:15,573
Here's some more pledges.
They're bedbugs!
910
00:35:15,656 --> 00:35:16,616
Boom!
911
00:35:16,699 --> 00:35:17,700
These are
my best pants!
912
00:35:17,784 --> 00:35:18,785
I don't care about
your fucking pants.
913
00:35:18,868 --> 00:35:20,745
All I care about is bedbugs.
Get it in. Hurry.
914
00:35:20,828 --> 00:35:22,872
It's so hot in here.
Can't see in
this fucking thing.
915
00:35:23,039 --> 00:35:24,165
That sheet has
so many bedbugs.
916
00:35:24,332 --> 00:35:26,709
I feel them!
I can feel them! Get it off!
917
00:35:26,793 --> 00:35:27,877
Oh, my God!
918
00:35:32,548 --> 00:35:34,217
Hello, hello!
919
00:35:34,383 --> 00:35:36,803
We're entering!
Put on your clothes!
920
00:35:36,969 --> 00:35:37,970
Hi!
Hi!
921
00:35:38,137 --> 00:35:39,889
Welcome!
Hello.
922
00:35:40,056 --> 00:35:41,682
Great! Good to
see you guys!
923
00:35:41,849 --> 00:35:42,975
Good to see you again.
Welcome back!
924
00:35:43,142 --> 00:35:44,519
The place looks great.
Yes.
925
00:35:44,727 --> 00:35:46,229
I brought my
boyfriend by.
926
00:35:46,395 --> 00:35:48,731
Just kidding.
It's the mold inspector,
the old mold king.
927
00:35:48,898 --> 00:35:50,316
You don't think
there's actually
mold here, do you?
928
00:35:50,483 --> 00:35:53,736
We kind of smelled
a little something weird
when we were here before.
929
00:35:53,903 --> 00:35:54,904
Just wanted to
double-check.
930
00:35:54,987 --> 00:35:56,072
Why not, right?
Yeah.
931
00:35:56,572 --> 00:35:57,532
Great!
Cool.
932
00:35:57,615 --> 00:35:58,866
That's why we're here.
933
00:35:58,991 --> 00:36:00,201
What's going on
over there, by the way?
934
00:36:00,368 --> 00:36:01,369
New tenants?
935
00:36:01,536 --> 00:36:03,037
Yes, a new family
moved in next door
936
00:36:03,162 --> 00:36:04,664
and they're just doing
a little fumigating.
937
00:36:04,747 --> 00:36:06,999
Very nice,
quiet, lovely family.
938
00:36:07,124 --> 00:36:08,125
Family, huh?
939
00:36:08,209 --> 00:36:10,670
It must be pretty big.
That place is huge,
like eight bedrooms.
940
00:36:10,753 --> 00:36:11,754
It is.
It is.
941
00:36:11,838 --> 00:36:14,257
This is a very
religious family.
942
00:36:14,340 --> 00:36:16,843
They're Jewish,
and they're lovely.
943
00:36:16,926 --> 00:36:18,553
Yeah, why did you
just do... You know?
944
00:36:18,803 --> 00:36:19,929
Anyway, they're lovely.
945
00:36:20,137 --> 00:36:22,431
I think there they
are now, actually.
946
00:36:22,515 --> 00:36:24,725
Look! It's our
Jewish neighbours.
Oh, hello.
947
00:36:24,892 --> 00:36:26,435
Proof they actually exist.
948
00:36:29,230 --> 00:36:30,231
And she's pregnant.
949
00:36:30,398 --> 00:36:32,441
Got another
little Jew in the oven.
950
00:36:35,278 --> 00:36:36,279
Why don't we start
the mold inspection?
951
00:36:36,404 --> 00:36:37,363
Come into your house.
952
00:36:37,446 --> 00:36:38,865
Come on in.
Come into your home.
953
00:36:38,948 --> 00:36:40,700
Why don't we
start in your kitchen?
Yes.
954
00:36:40,783 --> 00:36:41,826
This place is weird.
955
00:36:41,909 --> 00:36:42,994
Yeah.
956
00:36:51,127 --> 00:36:52,795
Uh, Teddy, where are
you gonna be staying?
957
00:36:53,963 --> 00:36:55,464
Uh, right now?
958
00:36:55,631 --> 00:36:57,425
I'm helping a bunch of
girls build a sorority.
959
00:36:57,592 --> 00:36:58,843
They're moving
into our old house,
960
00:36:58,968 --> 00:37:00,303
so I'll probably
just move in with them.
961
00:37:01,220 --> 00:37:02,847
It's a big step
forward for me.
962
00:37:05,057 --> 00:37:06,267
Okay.
Yeah.
963
00:37:06,434 --> 00:37:07,727
That's super weird.
964
00:37:07,810 --> 00:37:09,520
It's actually not
weird. It's actually
super normal.
965
00:37:10,229 --> 00:37:11,731
Whatever makes you
happy, right?
966
00:37:11,898 --> 00:37:13,608
Darren, can you
back the fuck off?
967
00:37:13,774 --> 00:37:15,484
Whoa, whoa,
Teddy! Relax!
968
00:37:15,735 --> 00:37:17,695
I finally found
somewhere
that I'm good at,
969
00:37:17,778 --> 00:37:19,071
where I'm valued!
970
00:37:19,238 --> 00:37:20,281
You want to
criticize that?
971
00:37:20,489 --> 00:37:23,409
What I was saying is that
it's just a little weird
972
00:37:23,492 --> 00:37:24,827
for a grown man
to be helping
973
00:37:24,911 --> 00:37:26,245
a bunch of girls
make a sorority.
974
00:37:26,329 --> 00:37:27,413
Doesn't that
sound crazy to you?
975
00:37:27,580 --> 00:37:29,999
No... Did you know
that sororities don't
have the right to party?
976
00:37:30,416 --> 00:37:32,251
You know, there's no
legal right to party.
977
00:37:32,335 --> 00:37:34,003
Yes, there is a legal
right to party...
978
00:37:34,170 --> 00:37:35,796
Garf! Back me up, Garf.
979
00:37:35,963 --> 00:37:36,964
Man, just leave
me out of it.
980
00:37:37,048 --> 00:37:38,049
Okay.
981
00:37:38,132 --> 00:37:40,301
Look, I'm your best friend.
I'm just trying to be honest.
982
00:37:40,384 --> 00:37:41,427
Oh, yeah?
983
00:37:41,510 --> 00:37:42,595
Well, took you
long enough.
984
00:37:42,845 --> 00:37:43,971
What's that
supposed to mean?
985
00:37:44,180 --> 00:37:45,890
You didn't tell me
your biggest secret
986
00:37:45,973 --> 00:37:47,683
through all of
college, man!
987
00:37:47,934 --> 00:37:50,436
Where is this even
coming from right now?
988
00:37:50,519 --> 00:37:52,688
You told Garf first!
989
00:37:52,939 --> 00:37:54,732
He was bi-curious
most of sophomore year.
990
00:37:54,815 --> 00:37:56,233
He was the logical
person to tell!
991
00:37:56,317 --> 00:37:57,693
Sometimes you
gotta suck a dick
992
00:37:57,777 --> 00:37:59,236
to realize you
don't like sucking dick.
993
00:38:00,529 --> 00:38:02,698
You're just mad
because you're fucking lost.
994
00:38:02,865 --> 00:38:05,034
The rest of us,
we've moved forward.
995
00:38:05,201 --> 00:38:07,328
Garf's a cop,
Scoonie's got
his own business,
996
00:38:07,411 --> 00:38:08,913
I'm getting married.
997
00:38:09,038 --> 00:38:10,873
And you're moving
into a fucking sorority.
998
00:38:15,753 --> 00:38:16,796
You know what?
999
00:38:16,879 --> 00:38:19,840
Those sisters
are better brothers
to me than you ever were.
1000
00:38:20,549 --> 00:38:21,592
You're not my brother.
1001
00:38:22,051 --> 00:38:24,261
Don't say shit
you can't take back.
1002
00:38:24,553 --> 00:38:26,889
Bros before hoes.
1003
00:38:27,223 --> 00:38:28,724
Don't call them hoes.
1004
00:38:29,183 --> 00:38:30,935
That's not cool anymore.
1005
00:38:36,023 --> 00:38:37,984
All right, ladies,
we gotta talk finances.
1006
00:38:38,067 --> 00:38:39,527
Okay, it's really serious.
1007
00:38:39,610 --> 00:38:41,529
The fumigation took
so much of our money
1008
00:38:41,612 --> 00:38:42,863
that we're down to
two money buckets.
1009
00:38:42,947 --> 00:38:44,365
And I don't know
what we're gonna
do about it.
1010
00:38:44,448 --> 00:38:46,575
Okay. What if we use
our Minions to
make us money?
1011
00:38:46,659 --> 00:38:48,661
Oh, no. Their plates are
full cleaning the house.
1012
00:38:53,541 --> 00:38:54,542
Ahhh!
1013
00:38:55,501 --> 00:38:56,502
Maranda.
1014
00:38:56,669 --> 00:38:59,505
Doesn't your brother
sell weed on some
farm outside of town?
1015
00:38:59,672 --> 00:39:01,007
Yeah, I did say that.
1016
00:39:01,173 --> 00:39:02,174
My brother, Daffodil.
1017
00:39:02,258 --> 00:39:05,594
Why don't we spend all
of our bucket money on
Daffodil's weed
1018
00:39:05,678 --> 00:39:07,430
and sell it at
the tailgate this weekend?
1019
00:39:07,596 --> 00:39:09,056
Holy shit!
Fuck, yeah!
1020
00:39:09,223 --> 00:39:11,684
We can make it
rain on them hoes!
1021
00:39:11,851 --> 00:39:13,352
I love that idea!
We can make T-shirts
1022
00:39:13,436 --> 00:39:14,895
with glitter glue.
Kappa Nu.
1023
00:39:14,979 --> 00:39:16,772
- It's not a good idea.
- I like it.
1024
00:39:16,856 --> 00:39:18,691
It won't make enough money.
Excuse me?
1025
00:39:18,774 --> 00:39:20,276
Everyone at the tailgate's
gonna be selling weed.
1026
00:39:20,359 --> 00:39:21,360
I got it.
1027
00:39:21,444 --> 00:39:23,487
We're gonna corner
the market on weed
1028
00:39:23,571 --> 00:39:26,490
by ratting out every other
drug dealer in town.
1029
00:39:26,657 --> 00:39:28,617
That way Kappa Nu
1030
00:39:28,868 --> 00:39:31,996
is the only group
selling weed
at the tailgate.
1031
00:39:32,079 --> 00:39:33,330
Fuck yes!
1032
00:39:33,414 --> 00:39:35,875
F you guys!
That shit's brilliant!
1033
00:39:35,958 --> 00:39:38,878
Guys, guys...
Guys, this is really risky.
1034
00:39:38,961 --> 00:39:40,046
- We gonna sell...
- Weed!
1035
00:39:40,212 --> 00:39:41,756
- We gonna smoke...
- Weed!
1036
00:39:41,922 --> 00:39:42,923
What we gonna sell?
1037
00:39:43,049 --> 00:39:44,050
Weed!
1038
00:39:44,133 --> 00:39:46,677
God damn it!
God damn it!
God damn it!
1039
00:39:46,927 --> 00:39:49,430
You're acting like children.
You need to listen to me.
1040
00:39:49,638 --> 00:39:52,266
I've been down this road.
I know what I'm doing.
1041
00:39:52,516 --> 00:39:54,977
And I have some wisdom.
And I feel like I'm
protecting you guys.
1042
00:40:18,167 --> 00:40:19,168
Am I right?
1043
00:40:19,251 --> 00:40:22,713
Teddy. We just voted
and we've decided it's
best for you if you go.
1044
00:40:23,255 --> 00:40:24,256
When?
1045
00:40:24,381 --> 00:40:25,633
Just now.
1046
00:40:25,716 --> 00:40:26,801
With our phones.
1047
00:40:26,967 --> 00:40:28,094
What? No.
1048
00:40:28,177 --> 00:40:29,178
No.
1049
00:40:29,261 --> 00:40:30,763
No, you can't do
this to me!
1050
00:40:30,971 --> 00:40:32,598
I thought
we were sisters.
1051
00:40:32,681 --> 00:40:34,308
We were supposed
to be a team.
1052
00:40:34,391 --> 00:40:36,352
Why is this happening?
You can't do this to me!
1053
00:40:36,602 --> 00:40:38,270
I quit my job!
1054
00:40:38,562 --> 00:40:40,064
Well, we didn't
tell you to do that.
1055
00:40:40,231 --> 00:40:42,108
I liquidated my
401K for this.
1056
00:40:42,274 --> 00:40:43,400
What's a 401K?
1057
00:40:43,567 --> 00:40:45,069
I don't know, now!
1058
00:40:45,194 --> 00:40:46,612
Look, I'm so happy
that you helped us
1059
00:40:46,737 --> 00:40:48,155
get to this
place that we're in.
1060
00:40:48,239 --> 00:40:51,575
You really let us
spread our wings
and fly as women.
1061
00:40:51,867 --> 00:40:52,910
This is all I have!
1062
00:40:53,160 --> 00:40:54,620
I thought we were
in this together.
1063
00:40:54,870 --> 00:40:57,206
You're not like us, dude.
1064
00:40:57,748 --> 00:40:59,291
You're an old person.
1065
00:41:03,212 --> 00:41:04,255
No, you're right.
1066
00:41:05,548 --> 00:41:07,299
I've been playing
for the wrong team.
1067
00:41:09,927 --> 00:41:11,470
I'll be seeing
you around.
1068
00:41:12,054 --> 00:41:13,639
Okay.
1069
00:41:17,643 --> 00:41:21,272
I wasn't, like,
too harsh on him,
was I?
1070
00:41:21,438 --> 00:41:24,608
No, no. You were fine.
You were great. You were good.
1071
00:41:27,111 --> 00:41:28,112
It's fine.
1072
00:41:28,696 --> 00:41:31,198
Well, now that
Daddy's gone,
1073
00:41:31,490 --> 00:41:33,534
time to get feisty.
1074
00:41:36,996 --> 00:41:39,248
Hello? 9-1-1?
1075
00:41:39,415 --> 00:41:41,417
I need to report
three different addresses
1076
00:41:41,542 --> 00:41:43,502
that are currently
selling marijuana.
1077
00:41:43,669 --> 00:41:45,379
Yes, ganja.
1078
00:41:45,963 --> 00:41:47,756
Get on the fucking ground!
1079
00:41:47,923 --> 00:41:49,300
Get on the fucking ground!
1080
00:41:49,466 --> 00:41:50,718
Put it in your mouth!
1081
00:41:50,885 --> 00:41:52,178
Yeah, you like it,
don't you?
1082
00:41:52,344 --> 00:41:53,429
Watkins, what are
you doing, man?
1083
00:41:53,596 --> 00:41:55,514
This is your training day!
What's training day?
1084
00:41:55,681 --> 00:41:57,057
This is your
training day!
1085
00:41:57,433 --> 00:41:58,642
Get down!
1086
00:42:02,605 --> 00:42:04,315
You're not in
the Academy anymore, private.
1087
00:42:06,275 --> 00:42:07,610
Oh, sorry.
1088
00:42:07,693 --> 00:42:10,863
Oh. You guys
gotta come to
the precinct with us.
1089
00:42:11,030 --> 00:42:12,865
You ride in the car.
We got bottled water.
1090
00:42:13,032 --> 00:42:15,284
We'll stop at P.F.
Chang's, Chipotle,
whatever you need.
1091
00:42:15,492 --> 00:42:17,786
Passing that mold
inspection was a miracle!
1092
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:19,747
Praise be.
Yeah. No shit.
1093
00:42:19,914 --> 00:42:23,626
If they drive past here
and they see the girls,
it's over.
1094
00:42:23,792 --> 00:42:25,294
The worst part of
this whole fucking thing,
1095
00:42:25,461 --> 00:42:26,795
I'm so stressed out,
all I want to do
1096
00:42:26,921 --> 00:42:28,214
is chill out
and smoke a joint,
1097
00:42:28,380 --> 00:42:30,382
and my dealer
doesn't have any weed.
He's fucking dry!
1098
00:42:30,549 --> 00:42:31,592
Good luck
finding any.
1099
00:42:31,759 --> 00:42:32,968
- Jesus Christ, man!
- Whoa!
1100
00:42:33,135 --> 00:42:34,511
How the fuck did
you get in here?
1101
00:42:34,678 --> 00:42:35,888
None of that
matters right now.
1102
00:42:36,055 --> 00:42:38,224
I want to help you
guys stop that sorority
before it gets too late.
1103
00:42:38,641 --> 00:42:39,642
Really?
1104
00:42:39,808 --> 00:42:40,935
That's right.
1105
00:42:41,060 --> 00:42:42,061
I'm switching sides.
1106
00:42:42,770 --> 00:42:44,605
Nice! That's awesome! Cool!
Yes!
1107
00:42:44,772 --> 00:42:46,899
FYI, Kelly,
I'm still down.
1108
00:42:47,441 --> 00:42:48,817
Stop it.
1109
00:42:49,318 --> 00:42:50,653
Okay. I know
you're not gonna fuck.
1110
00:42:50,736 --> 00:42:52,029
It still hurts
my feelings.
1111
00:42:52,112 --> 00:42:53,781
He's just having a joke.
1112
00:42:53,948 --> 00:42:55,824
Kappa Nu has
cornered the
market on weed.
1113
00:42:55,991 --> 00:42:57,076
Oh, no!
Oh, God.
1114
00:42:57,243 --> 00:42:58,244
Oh, yes!
1115
00:42:58,410 --> 00:42:59,912
Until Monday,
they are
the only purveyors
1116
00:42:59,995 --> 00:43:01,497
of weed in
the greater
Ardendale area.
1117
00:43:01,664 --> 00:43:03,415
Holy shit! Do you
think they'll sell me some?
Oh, my God.
1118
00:43:03,499 --> 00:43:05,376
No.
Fuck!
1119
00:43:05,459 --> 00:43:06,919
They have seven
pounds of weed.
1120
00:43:07,002 --> 00:43:08,963
They can sell it for $50
a gram if they want to.
1121
00:43:09,046 --> 00:43:10,506
That's over $1,000
an ounce,
1122
00:43:10,589 --> 00:43:12,049
$16,000 a pound.
1123
00:43:12,132 --> 00:43:16,095
All said and done,
if they move it all,
that's over $112,000.
1124
00:43:16,262 --> 00:43:17,721
Dude.
We should do this.
1125
00:43:17,805 --> 00:43:19,265
You're incredible
at math.
1126
00:43:19,348 --> 00:43:21,267
Nah, I suck at math.
I'm good at weed.
1127
00:43:21,433 --> 00:43:22,434
It's the same thing.
1128
00:43:22,559 --> 00:43:24,186
No, this is weed.
1129
00:43:24,436 --> 00:43:26,313
Just pretend it's
seven pounds of meat,
just try it.
1130
00:43:26,438 --> 00:43:27,940
Why would I even
be buying meat?
1131
00:43:28,107 --> 00:43:29,233
I don't know.
You're hungry.
1132
00:43:29,400 --> 00:43:30,693
Are you talking burgers?
1133
00:43:30,776 --> 00:43:31,777
Steaks.
1134
00:43:31,944 --> 00:43:33,570
How much does
a gram of steak
go for?
1135
00:43:33,737 --> 00:43:35,656
I don't know.
Why would I be selling
grams of steak?
1136
00:43:35,823 --> 00:43:37,116
Fair enough.
1137
00:43:37,283 --> 00:43:39,159
Their plan is to sell
the weed at the tailgate.
1138
00:43:39,285 --> 00:43:40,995
And believe me,
that's enough for them
1139
00:43:41,078 --> 00:43:42,162
to stay in the house
through your escrow.
1140
00:43:42,246 --> 00:43:43,664
God.
What do we do?
1141
00:43:43,831 --> 00:43:46,083
If we steal their weed,
they won't be
able to pay the rent.
1142
00:43:46,250 --> 00:43:47,626
All of the members
that they've recruited
1143
00:43:47,751 --> 00:43:49,128
will have to rush
other sororities,
1144
00:43:49,211 --> 00:43:50,212
and that will be that.
1145
00:43:50,379 --> 00:43:51,505
What's in this
for you, bro?
Yeah.
1146
00:43:51,672 --> 00:43:54,425
Honestly,
I just want
to be valued.
1147
00:43:54,591 --> 00:43:55,676
Well, it begs the question.
1148
00:43:55,759 --> 00:43:58,095
How the fuck are we
supposed to beat them?
There's 15 of them!
1149
00:43:58,262 --> 00:44:00,472
No, they have
15 individuals.
1150
00:44:00,639 --> 00:44:02,349
They're not
a cohesive unit.
1151
00:44:02,516 --> 00:44:05,352
They don't understand
the most important
rule of sisterhood.
1152
00:44:05,519 --> 00:44:07,396
There's no
"I" in sorority.
1153
00:44:07,563 --> 00:44:09,064
Yeah, there is.
There's two actually.
1154
00:44:09,231 --> 00:44:10,316
Actually,
there's just one.
1155
00:44:10,441 --> 00:44:11,608
No, that's a "Y."
1156
00:44:11,775 --> 00:44:13,235
No, in the middle.
That's an "O."
1157
00:44:13,402 --> 00:44:15,446
Two "I"s,
straddling the "Y".
1158
00:44:15,612 --> 00:44:19,033
S-O-R-R-I-A-Y-O-R-I-T-Y.
1159
00:44:19,366 --> 00:44:20,367
What?
1160
00:44:20,451 --> 00:44:22,202
There's a "U"
in there that you
guys are all missing.
1161
00:44:22,369 --> 00:44:27,916
S-O-R-R-I-R-O-I-T-I-T-Y.
1162
00:44:28,083 --> 00:44:30,169
Sorriroi-tity?
That's how
you spell it.
1163
00:44:30,336 --> 00:44:31,337
You think
the "tity" is silent?
1164
00:44:31,503 --> 00:44:33,088
Look, we're all getting
sidetracked right now!
1165
00:44:33,672 --> 00:44:34,840
Guys, bottom line is
1166
00:44:35,007 --> 00:44:37,551
we need to figure out a way
to infiltrate that tailgate.
1167
00:44:37,968 --> 00:44:39,094
Tailgate?
1168
00:44:39,345 --> 00:44:40,346
Tailgate.
1169
00:44:40,721 --> 00:44:41,722
Tailgate.
1170
00:44:41,805 --> 00:44:42,848
Tailgate.
1171
00:44:44,224 --> 00:44:45,225
Tailgate! Tailgate!
1172
00:45:21,011 --> 00:45:22,012
High pie!
1173
00:45:22,179 --> 00:45:24,556
Yes, you.
Come on! Pot pie!
1174
00:45:24,723 --> 00:45:27,393
Weed for women!
It's only 20 bucks!
1175
00:45:27,559 --> 00:45:29,645
Kappa Nu weed.
It's charity weed.
1176
00:45:29,812 --> 00:45:30,938
High pie.
1177
00:45:31,063 --> 00:45:32,147
Come on!
It's just $20 a slice!
1178
00:45:32,314 --> 00:45:34,316
Come get your pie!
Pot pie, guys!
1179
00:45:36,485 --> 00:45:38,612
First off, you look
fucking horrifying.
1180
00:45:38,737 --> 00:45:40,572
What? It's a clown, man.
People love clowns.
1181
00:45:40,823 --> 00:45:42,866
Jesus fucking Christ!
1182
00:45:42,991 --> 00:45:43,992
Stop doing that!
1183
00:45:44,159 --> 00:45:45,828
Don't do that again.
Okay? I will give birth.
1184
00:45:45,994 --> 00:45:47,788
Guys, listen!
Here's the plan.
1185
00:45:47,955 --> 00:45:50,624
I'm gonna get up on stage
and I'm gonna dance,
1186
00:45:50,791 --> 00:45:52,960
distracting the girls
just long enough for Mac
1187
00:45:53,043 --> 00:45:54,795
to run around
and steal the weed.
1188
00:45:54,962 --> 00:45:57,423
Kelly, Paula,
I need you both
to drive getaway.
1189
00:45:57,506 --> 00:45:59,341
I can't have you
running around here
'cause you're pregnant.
1190
00:46:00,175 --> 00:46:02,177
Wait, just you
dancing is enough
1191
00:46:02,261 --> 00:46:03,637
to distract
the entire sorority?
1192
00:46:03,720 --> 00:46:04,721
I don't know about that.
1193
00:46:04,847 --> 00:46:06,515
That'll work.
It usually works.
1194
00:46:06,682 --> 00:46:08,058
I don't even know
where we are right now.
1195
00:46:08,225 --> 00:46:09,268
Okay.
1196
00:46:09,351 --> 00:46:10,352
I'm ready.
All right.
1197
00:46:12,146 --> 00:46:13,564
Oh, shit! Fuck!
1198
00:46:13,814 --> 00:46:14,982
What's wrong?
Damn it.
1199
00:46:15,315 --> 00:46:17,192
No! I don't have
the baby oil.
1200
00:46:17,317 --> 00:46:18,318
What's the big deal?
1201
00:46:18,402 --> 00:46:19,486
No, it's the most
important thing!
1202
00:46:19,570 --> 00:46:21,572
With baby oil, you get,
like, two extra lines here.
1203
00:46:21,655 --> 00:46:22,614
Really?
1204
00:46:22,698 --> 00:46:23,991
Hold on, hold on,
hold on.
God damn it.
1205
00:46:25,534 --> 00:46:26,577
All right, let's go!
1206
00:46:26,994 --> 00:46:28,412
Ooh, that's hot!
1207
00:46:28,579 --> 00:46:30,664
Oh, that's really hot!
Ow! It burns!
1208
00:46:30,747 --> 00:46:31,748
Rub that shit in.
1209
00:46:31,874 --> 00:46:34,376
All right, rub it in.
Rub it in.
1210
00:46:34,460 --> 00:46:35,461
Jeez.
1211
00:46:35,544 --> 00:46:36,753
Oh, my God!
God bless you, kid.
1212
00:46:36,837 --> 00:46:37,880
Kelly?
What?
1213
00:46:37,963 --> 00:46:40,382
What the fuck
are you doing?
We're in a rush, Mac.
1214
00:46:40,507 --> 00:46:42,217
Come on, Mac.
Get his thighs.
Okay.
1215
00:46:43,051 --> 00:46:44,136
Yo, what's up!
Clear the stage,
1216
00:46:44,219 --> 00:46:45,721
clear the stage!
1217
00:46:45,888 --> 00:46:47,097
I got something to say.
1218
00:46:47,264 --> 00:46:49,892
This song right here
goes out to my
girls in Kappa Nu.
1219
00:46:50,058 --> 00:46:53,061
I know we've
been going through
some rough times lately.
1220
00:46:53,228 --> 00:46:54,354
But I love you.
1221
00:46:55,856 --> 00:46:57,065
DJ, let's shake
that booty.
1222
00:46:57,232 --> 00:46:58,400
You got this,
right, Beth?
1223
00:46:58,567 --> 00:46:59,693
Yes, I got this.
I'm right here.
1224
00:47:34,019 --> 00:47:35,020
Fuck!
1225
00:47:50,953 --> 00:47:52,663
No! He showed dick!
1226
00:47:54,665 --> 00:47:55,707
Oh, no!
1227
00:47:55,874 --> 00:47:57,543
The weed!
Oh, shit!
1228
00:47:57,709 --> 00:47:58,710
It's all gone!
1229
00:47:58,877 --> 00:48:01,463
Oh, my God!
It's all gone!
It's all gone!
1230
00:48:02,297 --> 00:48:04,466
Chester the fucking
Cheetah took our weed!
1231
00:48:04,716 --> 00:48:05,842
Get the fucking
bag of weed!
1232
00:48:07,553 --> 00:48:08,637
Get the weed!
1233
00:48:11,348 --> 00:48:12,975
God, I hate clowns!
1234
00:48:13,100 --> 00:48:14,309
Get out of the way!
1235
00:48:15,686 --> 00:48:17,813
Get another exit.
Find the exit!
1236
00:48:17,896 --> 00:48:19,147
I'm blocked!
I'll get another car!
1237
00:48:19,398 --> 00:48:21,024
Go! Go!
Oh, No!
1238
00:48:35,747 --> 00:48:37,040
Move, move, move!
1239
00:48:37,291 --> 00:48:39,001
Fuck!
1240
00:48:39,084 --> 00:48:40,252
Get out of the way!
1241
00:48:47,217 --> 00:48:48,677
I got your weed!
1242
00:48:49,011 --> 00:48:50,012
Move!
1243
00:48:50,679 --> 00:48:52,264
Which one is it?
Where's the weed?
1244
00:48:57,561 --> 00:48:58,687
Give me
the fucking weed!
1245
00:49:01,940 --> 00:49:03,191
Who's laughing
now, clown?
1246
00:49:03,525 --> 00:49:04,526
Who's laughing now?
Ow! Stop!
1247
00:49:05,944 --> 00:49:07,946
It's garbage!
It's not weed!
1248
00:49:08,113 --> 00:49:09,114
Oh, fuck!
1249
00:49:09,197 --> 00:49:10,407
The weed! The weed!
1250
00:49:11,575 --> 00:49:12,618
Go for it!
1251
00:49:14,328 --> 00:49:15,412
Oh, shit!
1252
00:49:16,204 --> 00:49:17,914
Okay, wait! Mac,
1253
00:49:18,957 --> 00:49:20,542
you can do this.
1254
00:49:27,549 --> 00:49:29,217
4-20!
1255
00:49:35,140 --> 00:49:36,141
Oh, fuck!
1256
00:49:48,070 --> 00:49:49,321
On your right!
Take it!
1257
00:49:49,404 --> 00:49:51,698
I'm All-State
track and field, bitch!
1258
00:50:17,349 --> 00:50:18,350
Come on!
1259
00:50:20,435 --> 00:50:21,603
Come on!
1260
00:50:21,687 --> 00:50:22,938
Hurry!
1261
00:50:27,317 --> 00:50:28,318
Oh, shit!
1262
00:50:28,443 --> 00:50:29,444
Here she comes!
1263
00:50:30,612 --> 00:50:33,115
Free weed! Take it!
Free weed!
Weed for everyone!
1264
00:50:33,615 --> 00:50:34,658
Free weed!
Free weed!
1265
00:50:38,954 --> 00:50:41,373
That's all our weed!
How are we gonna pay rent?
1266
00:50:42,124 --> 00:50:44,876
You're really turning
me on with your
muscles right now.
1267
00:50:45,001 --> 00:50:46,086
Two pounds coming!
1268
00:50:46,169 --> 00:50:47,671
You look...
Are you in pain?
1269
00:50:47,754 --> 00:50:49,548
They're just
a little heavy.
Yeah. Yeah.
1270
00:50:49,840 --> 00:50:51,967
I love you! Shit!
1271
00:50:52,134 --> 00:50:55,762
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
1272
00:50:55,971 --> 00:50:57,472
Ah!
1273
00:50:58,014 --> 00:50:59,015
Oh, fuck!
1274
00:50:59,182 --> 00:51:02,811
This is a fucking shame,
but it's also pretty fun.
Whoo...
1275
00:51:02,978 --> 00:51:04,020
Thank you, dude.
Yeah.
1276
00:51:04,104 --> 00:51:05,939
Dude, those girls
were out of control!
1277
00:51:06,106 --> 00:51:09,735
No, those girls
were out of control
until we controlled them.
1278
00:51:09,901 --> 00:51:10,902
You really controlled them.
1279
00:51:10,986 --> 00:51:12,070
You have to
remind yourself that
1280
00:51:12,154 --> 00:51:14,114
any situation is
actually controllable
1281
00:51:14,281 --> 00:51:18,410
because parents are smart
and kids, by comparison,
are fucking stupid.
1282
00:51:18,577 --> 00:51:20,537
You have it figured out.
You can't do anything
1283
00:51:20,704 --> 00:51:23,790
until you know the answer
to one simple question.
1284
00:51:23,957 --> 00:51:25,625
"Who is Teddy Sanders?"
Mmm.
1285
00:51:25,792 --> 00:51:27,502
It's a very important
question to ask yourself.
1286
00:51:27,669 --> 00:51:30,630
Before I got anywhere
in life, I asked myself,
1287
00:51:30,797 --> 00:51:32,048
"Who is Mac Radner?"
1288
00:51:32,215 --> 00:51:34,009
And I said,
"Who are you,
Kelly Dhundee?"
1289
00:51:34,301 --> 00:51:35,260
Your maiden
name's Dundee?
1290
00:51:35,343 --> 00:51:37,220
No, it's got
an "H." Dhundee.
1291
00:51:37,345 --> 00:51:38,346
Like Crocodile Dundee?
1292
00:51:38,513 --> 00:51:40,515
It's "Dhundee."
It's a different
name altogether.
1293
00:51:40,682 --> 00:51:42,851
I know it's a different name,
but it's just a coincidence.
1294
00:51:42,934 --> 00:51:43,935
Crocodile Dundee.
1295
00:51:44,019 --> 00:51:45,395
It's nothing like it!
1296
00:51:45,562 --> 00:51:47,105
No. Nothing like that.
1297
00:51:47,189 --> 00:51:49,775
But anyway, that's
what you need to know.
Who is Teddy Sanders?
1298
00:51:49,983 --> 00:51:51,109
Buddy, what are
you doing today?
1299
00:51:51,234 --> 00:51:52,402
Yeah, what's your...
1300
00:51:52,486 --> 00:51:54,196
What your overall
game plan here?
1301
00:51:54,362 --> 00:51:55,530
Just in life.
1302
00:51:55,697 --> 00:51:58,825
I'll probably play
some games on my phone,
1303
00:51:58,992 --> 00:52:02,037
and walk around
for a little bit
until I tire myself out,
1304
00:52:02,204 --> 00:52:04,289
then go to sleep
in my car.
1305
00:52:04,873 --> 00:52:06,124
Probably.
1306
00:52:07,000 --> 00:52:08,210
So sad.
1307
00:52:09,211 --> 00:52:12,214
Um, do you wanna
maybe crash here?
1308
00:52:12,631 --> 00:52:14,299
Really, I won't
take up too much room?
1309
00:52:14,382 --> 00:52:15,592
You could sleep
in Stella's room.
1310
00:52:15,759 --> 00:52:18,053
She takes up
this much space.
1311
00:52:18,220 --> 00:52:19,346
Yeah.
1312
00:52:23,433 --> 00:52:24,434
Thank you, guys.
1313
00:52:24,601 --> 00:52:25,727
No, thank you.
1314
00:52:26,186 --> 00:52:27,312
It means a lot to me.
1315
00:52:27,395 --> 00:52:29,439
I can see that.
It's not that
big a deal.
1316
00:52:29,523 --> 00:52:31,358
No, it is a big deal.
1317
00:52:32,859 --> 00:52:33,902
Thank you.
Okay.
1318
00:52:36,112 --> 00:52:37,531
Thank you.
1319
00:52:37,697 --> 00:52:39,115
Do you have
any more of these?
1320
00:52:39,282 --> 00:52:41,618
Yes, there's heaps
in the kitchen.
Help yourself.
1321
00:52:41,785 --> 00:52:42,953
Are they baby food?
1322
00:52:43,078 --> 00:52:44,246
Technically.
1323
00:52:44,412 --> 00:52:46,206
- Babies eat good food.
- Yeah.
1324
00:52:46,373 --> 00:52:47,582
This is awesome.
1325
00:52:47,749 --> 00:52:48,959
Go get them.
1326
00:52:54,589 --> 00:52:56,883
That's cute.
Look at him.
1327
00:52:58,301 --> 00:53:01,388
He inhaled so much
weed smoke he
tuckered himself out.
1328
00:53:03,306 --> 00:53:04,683
All right.
1329
00:53:07,102 --> 00:53:08,854
Guys, we lost
our nest egg.
1330
00:53:09,020 --> 00:53:10,981
We lost all of
our weed and
our rent is due.
1331
00:53:11,064 --> 00:53:12,190
What are we
supposed to do?
1332
00:53:12,274 --> 00:53:13,358
Beth, what happened?
I thought you were the one
1333
00:53:13,441 --> 00:53:14,651
stopping the old people
from getting the weed.
1334
00:53:14,734 --> 00:53:16,278
No! Do not blame me!
1335
00:53:16,444 --> 00:53:17,737
You saw what was
happening up there.
1336
00:53:17,904 --> 00:53:20,448
I am a human woman.
I had to watch that.
1337
00:53:20,657 --> 00:53:22,367
I was on the whipped cream.
You were on the...
1338
00:53:22,492 --> 00:53:23,493
We watch things together...
1339
00:53:23,660 --> 00:53:26,121
She was in charge of
the weed. You were in
charge of the weed.
1340
00:53:26,288 --> 00:53:28,373
No, no! Stop it!
1341
00:53:28,540 --> 00:53:30,083
Stop it, don't you
see what's happening?
1342
00:53:30,792 --> 00:53:32,335
This is what the old
people want us to do.
1343
00:53:32,419 --> 00:53:33,962
They wanna tear us apart.
1344
00:53:34,212 --> 00:53:37,465
They know that if
we're a united front,
we can't lose.
1345
00:53:37,549 --> 00:53:39,301
Because we are sisters.
1346
00:53:39,467 --> 00:53:40,594
And for the first
time in my life,
1347
00:53:40,719 --> 00:53:41,803
I feel like I
belong right now.
1348
00:53:41,970 --> 00:53:44,389
This is so much better
than I ever
thought college could be.
1349
00:53:44,556 --> 00:53:48,268
This is the most
fun I've ever had
and I went to space camp.
1350
00:53:48,435 --> 00:53:49,811
I haven't slept in,
like, a week.
1351
00:53:49,978 --> 00:53:51,396
I just don't want to
miss out on anything.
1352
00:53:51,563 --> 00:53:52,647
You guys are so much fun.
1353
00:53:52,814 --> 00:53:54,441
We're never gonna
lose each other.
1354
00:53:54,608 --> 00:53:56,860
I mean,
what do you call a house
full of united women?
1355
00:53:57,319 --> 00:53:58,320
A brothel.
1356
00:53:58,403 --> 00:53:59,863
No, man.
1357
00:53:59,946 --> 00:54:01,072
A sorority.
1358
00:54:01,656 --> 00:54:02,657
Oh...
1359
00:54:02,824 --> 00:54:04,659
Okay. This is the problem.
1360
00:54:04,993 --> 00:54:06,202
We're never gonna
solve our money issues
1361
00:54:06,286 --> 00:54:07,829
when we're in this
war with the old people.
1362
00:54:07,996 --> 00:54:09,623
What can we do?
We're gonna
give the old people
1363
00:54:09,706 --> 00:54:11,082
a taste of their own
medicine. All right?
1364
00:54:11,166 --> 00:54:13,168
They tried to
tear us apart.
Yeah.
1365
00:54:13,335 --> 00:54:15,337
So, what are
we gonna do?
1366
00:54:17,047 --> 00:54:18,131
We're gonna
tear them apart!
1367
00:54:18,256 --> 00:54:19,341
Yeah.
1368
00:54:19,674 --> 00:54:22,093
I mean, unless you
guys think that's too
intense of a plan.
1369
00:54:22,177 --> 00:54:26,389
Shelby, they would never
say you were too
intense if you were a man.
1370
00:54:26,890 --> 00:54:29,392
Yeah, own that
shit, queen.
Yeah.
1371
00:54:29,559 --> 00:54:32,646
Let's do this,
team! Yeah!
1372
00:54:35,774 --> 00:54:37,317
Ah. What do
we think of that?
1373
00:54:38,318 --> 00:54:40,695
"Oh, my prince,
come for me!
1374
00:54:41,404 --> 00:54:42,405
"Come for me."
1375
00:54:42,489 --> 00:54:44,449
"No, I won't.
I'm not coming for you."
1376
00:54:44,824 --> 00:54:46,785
Yellow stars.
1377
00:54:47,494 --> 00:54:49,037
What color for
her dress? Mmm?
1378
00:54:51,373 --> 00:54:52,707
What is
the water doing?
1379
00:54:52,874 --> 00:54:54,000
It's boiling.
1380
00:54:54,167 --> 00:54:56,544
Pretty cool, huh?
What we do now,
1381
00:54:56,711 --> 00:54:58,880
we're gonna add
the eggs to it. Okay?
1382
00:54:59,047 --> 00:55:00,548
You put eggs
in the water?
Yeah. Watch.
1383
00:55:01,883 --> 00:55:03,426
- Did you hear that?
- Ah!
1384
00:55:03,593 --> 00:55:04,594
It's hot!
1385
00:55:04,761 --> 00:55:06,221
Oh, dude,
don't fucking touch it!
I told you it's hot!
1386
00:55:06,388 --> 00:55:09,015
Oh, my gosh!
I thought it was
like Jacuzzi hot.
1387
00:55:09,182 --> 00:55:11,059
- No, it's boiling hot!
- Oh.
1388
00:55:11,309 --> 00:55:14,104
Now, we add
the eggs, and we
hard-boil them, okay?
1389
00:55:14,270 --> 00:55:16,272
Don't put the eggs
in there. It's
gonna melt them.
1390
00:55:16,356 --> 00:55:19,025
No, it hard-boils them.
It makes them hard.
1391
00:55:19,192 --> 00:55:20,735
Why would it
make eggs hard?
1392
00:55:20,902 --> 00:55:22,696
What do you mean,
"Why would it
make eggs hard?"
1393
00:55:22,862 --> 00:55:24,698
It makes pasta soft.
1394
00:55:25,615 --> 00:55:26,616
Whoa.
1395
00:55:26,908 --> 00:55:28,076
That's a good point.
1396
00:55:29,244 --> 00:55:30,495
She looks fantastic.
1397
00:55:30,745 --> 00:55:31,746
Look at this.
1398
00:55:31,830 --> 00:55:33,248
I think this is
a gorgeous color.
1399
00:55:34,916 --> 00:55:37,794
- Oh, I love coloring in.
- I love it!
1400
00:55:38,420 --> 00:55:40,255
She's quite
overdressed
really, isn't she?
1401
00:55:40,422 --> 00:55:44,259
She's just in
a garden somewhere
in a ball gown.
1402
00:55:44,759 --> 00:55:47,053
Do you see people sometimes
that I don't see?
1403
00:55:48,555 --> 00:55:49,973
You can tell me.
1404
00:55:50,140 --> 00:55:52,392
Honey,
I'm home!
1405
00:55:52,559 --> 00:55:53,601
I've always
wanted to say that.
1406
00:55:53,768 --> 00:55:54,894
It's fun.
I say it all the time.
1407
00:55:55,061 --> 00:55:56,688
Really?
Yeah.
1408
00:55:57,772 --> 00:56:00,150
"Dear Mac,
I know everything seemed
good between us,
1409
00:56:00,233 --> 00:56:03,111
"but I've been
lying to you and myself.
I'm freaking out. From Kelly."
1410
00:56:03,278 --> 00:56:04,237
What?
1411
00:56:04,320 --> 00:56:06,448
What's she talking about?
That's gotta be a joke.
1412
00:56:06,614 --> 00:56:08,074
She must be
fucking with me.
1413
00:56:08,241 --> 00:56:09,451
Yeah, she's joking around.
1414
00:56:18,001 --> 00:56:19,669
That is so fucked up.
You bad, girl!
1415
00:56:19,753 --> 00:56:21,379
Oh, yeah. It's on!
1416
00:56:21,629 --> 00:56:23,631
I'm gonna call her.
Definitely call her.
1417
00:56:23,798 --> 00:56:25,967
Oh, fuck,
fuck, fuck!
Fuck. He's calling.
1418
00:56:26,134 --> 00:56:27,343
Hang up,
hang up.
Decline, decline.
1419
00:56:27,510 --> 00:56:28,595
What's going on right now?
1420
00:56:28,762 --> 00:56:30,930
- It's okay!
- Hang it up!
1421
00:56:33,141 --> 00:56:35,143
Just stay chill.
Everything's fine.
What should I do right now?
1422
00:56:41,274 --> 00:56:42,275
Huh?
1423
00:56:58,333 --> 00:57:00,460
Where did she go?
1424
00:57:00,627 --> 00:57:02,837
I know exactly
where she went.
1425
00:57:03,421 --> 00:57:04,464
What?
1426
00:57:10,845 --> 00:57:13,932
Mac, I've been up
all night!
I'm worried sick!
1427
00:57:14,099 --> 00:57:17,018
Please just text me
something. I'm worried.
1428
00:57:23,024 --> 00:57:24,025
What?
1429
00:57:35,245 --> 00:57:36,454
Fucking Jimmy.
1430
00:57:36,538 --> 00:57:37,580
Let's go, I'm hungry!
1431
00:57:37,705 --> 00:57:38,748
Trying to get
this tweet out.
1432
00:57:38,915 --> 00:57:39,999
How do you
spell Trump?
1433
00:57:40,083 --> 00:57:41,376
Jimmy.
1434
00:57:41,543 --> 00:57:43,378
Hey, what's up, Kel?
Where is he?
1435
00:57:43,711 --> 00:57:45,380
Where's who?
You're lying to me!
1436
00:57:45,463 --> 00:57:47,674
You're a fucking
terrible actor!
Tell me where he is!
1437
00:57:47,757 --> 00:57:48,842
Uh, I don't know.
1438
00:57:49,008 --> 00:57:50,969
He told me that you'd
pretend you didn't
know where he was.
1439
00:57:51,136 --> 00:57:52,303
Tell me where he is!
Ow, no.
1440
00:57:52,387 --> 00:57:53,429
Hey, Kel!
1441
00:57:53,596 --> 00:57:56,099
Where is Mac?
Mac is missing, and
Jimmy knows where he is.
1442
00:57:56,266 --> 00:57:58,268
Fucking tell her
where the fuck he is!
1443
00:57:58,434 --> 00:57:59,727
I was with you
last night.
I don't know.
1444
00:57:59,894 --> 00:58:02,063
I know you're
protecting some
stupid bro code.
1445
00:58:02,147 --> 00:58:03,523
Just tell me
where he is.
1446
00:58:03,606 --> 00:58:04,649
Bro code?
No, there's no bro code.
1447
00:58:04,732 --> 00:58:06,484
He likes you more than me.
He tells me that every day.
1448
00:58:06,568 --> 00:58:08,444
You're fucking
lying to me, Jimmy!
Tell me where he is!
1449
00:58:08,528 --> 00:58:09,654
I'm not lying.
1450
00:58:09,737 --> 00:58:11,364
Excuse me. Why is
there so much language...
1451
00:58:11,447 --> 00:58:12,448
This is an emergency!
1452
00:58:12,574 --> 00:58:14,784
My husband Mac has
vanished, and this man
knows where he is!
1453
00:58:14,868 --> 00:58:16,244
Well, tell her!
Tell me!
1454
00:58:16,327 --> 00:58:17,579
Tell her!
Fucking tell her!
1455
00:58:17,829 --> 00:58:18,788
Whoa! Oh!
1456
00:58:18,913 --> 00:58:20,081
You don't have
to do that.
Tell me!
1457
00:58:23,543 --> 00:58:25,420
He's in jail
for child porn!
1458
00:58:25,545 --> 00:58:27,881
What?
No! I'm lying!
I don't know where he is!
1459
00:58:27,964 --> 00:58:29,340
No, no, no!
1460
00:58:29,424 --> 00:58:30,466
Call him on
the phone now!
Call him!
1461
00:58:30,592 --> 00:58:31,634
You deserved that, Jimmy.
1462
00:58:31,759 --> 00:58:33,928
Hold on! Hold on!
Call him!
1463
00:58:34,012 --> 00:58:35,680
Here, here.
Fuck it!
1464
00:58:37,599 --> 00:58:38,933
It broke the skin.
1465
00:58:39,100 --> 00:58:40,310
Kelly?
1466
00:58:40,476 --> 00:58:42,020
Why do you have
Jimmy's phone?
Where are you?
1467
00:58:42,187 --> 00:58:43,855
Are you around
here? Are you
hiding somewhere?
1468
00:58:44,022 --> 00:58:45,607
Where are you?
I'm in your office!
1469
00:58:45,773 --> 00:58:47,275
I've been looking for you.
1470
00:58:47,442 --> 00:58:48,484
I went where you
told me to meet you!
1471
00:58:48,568 --> 00:58:49,611
Where are you?
1472
00:58:49,694 --> 00:58:52,155
In Sydney, Australia!
What?
1473
00:58:52,238 --> 00:58:53,656
Outside the
Opera House!
1474
00:58:53,865 --> 00:58:55,074
You're in Australia?
1475
00:58:55,158 --> 00:58:58,036
Yeah, I just got off
a plane. I've been on
a plane for 18 hours!
1476
00:58:58,328 --> 00:58:59,454
What's happening?
1477
00:58:59,537 --> 00:59:00,580
We've been hacked!
1478
00:59:01,247 --> 00:59:03,583
"Kappa Nu fooled you."
1479
00:59:03,750 --> 00:59:04,918
Kappa Nu?
1480
00:59:05,084 --> 00:59:07,045
Prank war!
Airbags, airbags!
1481
00:59:07,128 --> 00:59:08,171
Airbags!
1482
00:59:08,296 --> 00:59:11,049
Airbags!
This is not a drill!
All butts up!
1483
00:59:11,216 --> 00:59:12,967
All butts up! Go!
1484
00:59:17,180 --> 00:59:20,308
I might do the bridge walk
and then I'm gonna come home.
1485
00:59:21,267 --> 00:59:23,144
It's a barely
used refrigerator.
1486
00:59:29,484 --> 00:59:31,236
"Old people shit?"
1487
00:59:38,826 --> 00:59:41,496
"Kappa Nu
steals from you."
1488
00:59:41,663 --> 00:59:42,956
They robbed us?
1489
00:59:43,039 --> 00:59:44,290
This is so fucked!
1490
00:59:44,332 --> 00:59:46,501
We should
call the police!
We can't call the police!
1491
00:59:46,584 --> 00:59:48,419
We stole their weed.
We're in too deep!
1492
00:59:48,586 --> 00:59:50,505
You know what?
Girls are
worse than guys!
1493
00:59:50,713 --> 00:59:51,798
I'm just gonna say it!
1494
00:59:51,923 --> 00:59:53,841
I know that's
not feminist,
but fuck that!
1495
00:59:53,925 --> 00:59:55,343
At least they didn't
take Stella's toys.
1496
00:59:55,426 --> 00:59:56,427
Oh, don't
give me that!
1497
00:59:56,511 --> 00:59:59,097
I've been awake
for four days.
I'm so tired!
1498
00:59:59,847 --> 01:00:02,225
It's 3:00 a.m.
where I am in Australia!
1499
01:00:02,475 --> 01:00:04,644
We are so fucked!
1500
01:00:04,727 --> 01:00:06,354
We're in a drug
war with teenagers.
1501
01:00:06,479 --> 01:00:08,481
We don't have any furniture.
We're gonna go bankrupt.
1502
01:00:08,564 --> 01:00:11,192
We made so many
bad choices
throughout this process.
1503
01:00:11,276 --> 01:00:13,361
We're about to
have two girls!
Two kids!
1504
01:00:13,528 --> 01:00:15,780
That's completely
irresponsible of us.
We can't take care of one.
1505
01:00:15,863 --> 01:00:17,198
I know I'm not
a good parent.
1506
01:00:17,365 --> 01:00:18,658
Oh, fuck that.
I'm the bad parent.
1507
01:00:18,741 --> 01:00:20,660
Now, shut it down.
No. You don't get this one!
1508
01:00:20,743 --> 01:00:22,745
I'm the bad parent!
I'm the bad parent.
1509
01:00:23,037 --> 01:00:25,665
Last week, I found
her chewing on
a nugget of weed.
1510
01:00:25,748 --> 01:00:27,250
I don't know
how long she had it
in her mouth for.
1511
01:00:27,333 --> 01:00:28,626
Was it the Indica
or Sativa?
1512
01:00:28,710 --> 01:00:31,045
It was Indica!
She slept for,
like, nine hours after.
1513
01:00:31,254 --> 01:00:32,463
I'm the bad parent.
1514
01:00:32,547 --> 01:00:33,881
When she was
six months old,
1515
01:00:33,965 --> 01:00:35,174
I dropped her
on her head.
1516
01:00:35,258 --> 01:00:37,218
So did I.
What?
1517
01:00:37,302 --> 01:00:39,762
One time, I went
to Taco Bell,
I left her at home.
1518
01:00:39,846 --> 01:00:41,180
I forgot she existed.
1519
01:00:41,264 --> 01:00:42,307
She almost died
over a Gordita.
1520
01:00:42,390 --> 01:00:43,891
I'm such a bad parent.
1521
01:00:44,058 --> 01:00:45,560
Well, maybe we're
both bad parents!
1522
01:00:51,899 --> 01:00:52,900
Oh, no.
1523
01:00:53,401 --> 01:00:54,569
It's Wendy,
the realtor.
1524
01:00:55,028 --> 01:00:57,030
My clients are
backing out of escrow.
1525
01:00:57,405 --> 01:00:58,406
Yeah.
What?
1526
01:00:58,573 --> 01:01:00,700
We drove by
the house yesterday
and saw Kappa Nu.
1527
01:01:00,867 --> 01:01:02,076
How do you know
the name of the sorority?
1528
01:01:02,243 --> 01:01:03,578
I went to college,
too, you know.
1529
01:01:03,745 --> 01:01:05,872
Omega Theta.
Let's roll out!
1530
01:01:06,039 --> 01:01:07,165
Why the hell
is he here?
1531
01:01:07,248 --> 01:01:08,666
I thought you
were my clients.
1532
01:01:08,750 --> 01:01:10,918
We hired him because you
just forgot to mention
1533
01:01:11,002 --> 01:01:13,921
the sorority that lives
next to our new house,
so that's why.
1534
01:01:14,005 --> 01:01:16,090
Okay. Well, congratulations
because you hired a joke.
1535
01:01:16,341 --> 01:01:17,550
Oh, shove it, Wendy.
1536
01:01:17,675 --> 01:01:18,843
Oh, shove it right
back at ya, Oliver!
1537
01:01:18,926 --> 01:01:21,095
Why don't you shove it?
Shove it right back at ya!
1538
01:01:21,179 --> 01:01:22,764
We fucked once.
1539
01:01:22,972 --> 01:01:24,098
Not applicable.
1540
01:01:24,182 --> 01:01:25,892
I just feel like
we're escrowing apart
1541
01:01:26,017 --> 01:01:27,685
and we should be
escrowing together.
1542
01:01:27,769 --> 01:01:29,479
Exactly, guys.
Can we just escrow
together for a minute?
1543
01:01:29,562 --> 01:01:31,064
And the truth is,
they're lovely girls.
1544
01:01:31,189 --> 01:01:33,358
Lovely girls.
Super nice girls.
We promise you.
1545
01:01:33,441 --> 01:01:34,484
I don't think
that they are
1546
01:01:34,567 --> 01:01:36,778
because we literally saw
them robbing your house.
1547
01:01:36,861 --> 01:01:39,030
Well, thanks for
fucking stopping them!
1548
01:01:39,113 --> 01:01:40,782
You just stood
there while they
robbed our house?
1549
01:01:40,948 --> 01:01:42,116
It wasn't like that.
1550
01:01:42,367 --> 01:01:44,619
You didn't tell us
about the sorority!
1551
01:01:44,786 --> 01:01:47,205
Is there anything
we can do?
We're desperate!
1552
01:01:47,455 --> 01:01:49,999
Yeah, you can
magically make the sorority
that lives next door to you
1553
01:01:50,083 --> 01:01:51,125
disappear by tomorrow.
1554
01:01:53,711 --> 01:01:54,712
Is it real?
1555
01:01:54,796 --> 01:01:57,215
No! Maybe it's
just the old people
messing with us.
1556
01:01:57,382 --> 01:01:59,258
No. It's a real
eviction notice.
I called the landlord.
1557
01:01:59,342 --> 01:02:00,718
Okay, maybe
the landlord
was just one of
1558
01:02:00,802 --> 01:02:02,512
the old people
pretending to be
the landlord.
1559
01:02:02,595 --> 01:02:04,138
No. We're actually
being evicted, okay?
1560
01:02:04,222 --> 01:02:05,765
We have no
money to pay for it,
1561
01:02:05,848 --> 01:02:07,767
because we spent
all of our money
on the weed.
1562
01:02:07,850 --> 01:02:10,436
So now we need
five buckets of money
1563
01:02:10,520 --> 01:02:12,772
otherwise, we're gonna
get kicked out tomorrow.
1564
01:02:13,147 --> 01:02:14,941
We're gonna
lose the house.
We're gonna lose the house?
1565
01:02:15,024 --> 01:02:17,693
We're gonna lose our sisters,
'cause we're gonna be
put in separate dorms.
1566
01:02:17,777 --> 01:02:18,903
Then we're gonna
have no friends anymore,
1567
01:02:18,986 --> 01:02:21,155
and it's gonna be
just like high school
all over again.
1568
01:02:21,364 --> 01:02:23,324
What are we gonna do?
I mean,
how do frats make money?
1569
01:02:23,449 --> 01:02:25,535
They throw parties and
they charge for them.
1570
01:02:25,701 --> 01:02:27,703
But no one's gonna pay money
to come to our parties.
1571
01:02:27,787 --> 01:02:29,789
Yeah, it's not like
a frat bro is gonna
walk up and be like,
1572
01:02:29,872 --> 01:02:31,582
"Ooh, you look good
in your normal clothes."
1573
01:02:31,666 --> 01:02:32,792
Wait!
1574
01:02:32,875 --> 01:02:33,960
"I love your sweater!"
1575
01:02:34,043 --> 01:02:35,211
Girls, I have an idea.
1576
01:02:35,503 --> 01:02:36,504
Okay.
1577
01:02:37,046 --> 01:02:38,840
You're not going
to like it though.
1578
01:02:39,298 --> 01:02:40,466
We have to throw a party.
1579
01:02:40,550 --> 01:02:42,552
No. When we throw
parties we lose money.
1580
01:02:42,635 --> 01:02:44,512
No, not one of our
really fun parties
1581
01:02:44,637 --> 01:02:46,431
that we actually
have a good time at.
1582
01:02:46,514 --> 01:02:47,849
I mean it's,
like, empowering.
1583
01:02:48,015 --> 01:02:49,517
We have to throw
a really shitty
frat brother party.
1584
01:02:50,017 --> 01:02:51,769
One where the frat
brothers like it so much,
1585
01:02:51,894 --> 01:02:53,646
they actually
pay us to come to.
1586
01:02:53,729 --> 01:02:55,106
And then they really
like it so much, they tell
1587
01:02:55,189 --> 01:02:57,567
all their other
douchy frat brother friends
1588
01:02:57,650 --> 01:02:58,901
and they all pay us, too.
1589
01:02:58,985 --> 01:03:00,319
Like the one we
met each other at?
1590
01:03:00,570 --> 01:03:02,321
The other option here
is losing the house,
1591
01:03:02,447 --> 01:03:04,157
and if we lose
the house
we lose Kappa Nu.
1592
01:03:04,365 --> 01:03:06,159
I'm not gonna lose you guys.
1593
01:03:06,576 --> 01:03:07,785
- Okay.
- All right.
1594
01:03:07,869 --> 01:03:09,328
- Let's go tell the girls.
- Okay.
1595
01:03:09,495 --> 01:03:10,955
We don't want to
lose this sorority.
1596
01:03:11,038 --> 01:03:12,957
We don't want to
lose our house, okay?
1597
01:03:13,040 --> 01:03:14,709
That's why we gotta
1598
01:03:15,585 --> 01:03:18,337
dress a little
"hotter than
we usually do."
1599
01:03:18,504 --> 01:03:19,505
I'm hot!
1600
01:03:19,589 --> 01:03:20,882
I fucked the pizza man.
1601
01:03:21,048 --> 01:03:23,050
I gave him five stars
on Yelp.
1602
01:03:23,217 --> 01:03:24,427
You have chips
in your hair.
1603
01:03:25,470 --> 01:03:26,471
Yeah.
1604
01:03:45,072 --> 01:03:46,616
Look at the production
value on this video.
1605
01:03:46,782 --> 01:03:49,911
We are totally fucked!
We're gonna be bankrupt!
1606
01:03:50,077 --> 01:03:51,913
No, no, no!
Look closer.
1607
01:03:52,079 --> 01:03:53,164
They've lost their way.
1608
01:03:53,247 --> 01:03:55,541
They've become
everything that
they've hated.
1609
01:03:56,542 --> 01:03:58,669
- Jesus Christ.
- They're vulnerable.
1610
01:03:58,753 --> 01:04:01,339
They're relying
fully on this party
to support this house.
1611
01:04:01,422 --> 01:04:02,381
He's right.
1612
01:04:02,465 --> 01:04:04,592
If we shut down
this party, the
sorority will dissolve.
1613
01:04:04,759 --> 01:04:06,052
It's time to show
them who's adults,
1614
01:04:06,177 --> 01:04:07,428
and spank their
little bottoms.
1615
01:04:07,595 --> 01:04:08,679
I wanna spank them all.
1616
01:04:08,763 --> 01:04:10,765
Let's do what parents
do better than anything,
1617
01:04:10,932 --> 01:04:14,560
stop young people
from having fun!
1618
01:04:20,983 --> 01:04:22,944
Come on
in, guys!
1619
01:04:25,404 --> 01:04:27,907
Hey, hope you let yourself
in this party later on.
1620
01:04:29,992 --> 01:04:31,327
You're funny.
1621
01:04:32,495 --> 01:04:34,247
Call your friends, okay?
Tell them to come.
1622
01:04:34,413 --> 01:04:35,623
And bring money!
1623
01:04:36,290 --> 01:04:38,960
We shut this motherfucker
down at all costs.
1624
01:04:39,126 --> 01:04:41,504
Y'all go in,
shut it down
from the inside.
1625
01:04:41,671 --> 01:04:43,256
Me and Kelly stay,
call the cops
1626
01:04:43,339 --> 01:04:44,840
shut it down
from the outside.
1627
01:04:44,966 --> 01:04:46,968
Inside, outside.
Got it.
1628
01:04:54,183 --> 01:04:55,518
Now I'm ready.
1629
01:04:56,686 --> 01:04:58,563
Now, I'm ready.
1630
01:04:58,646 --> 01:05:00,481
Jesus Christ, man.
Ow!
1631
01:05:07,363 --> 01:05:08,489
Hey!
Hey.
1632
01:05:08,656 --> 01:05:09,949
What's going on,
Kappa Nu?
1633
01:05:10,116 --> 01:05:11,951
Bro, it's only 20 bucks.
You've gotta
get down here now.
1634
01:05:12,034 --> 01:05:14,829
They're gonna
get wet everywhere,
I swear to God!
1635
01:05:14,996 --> 01:05:17,540
There's so many
fucking hot bitches here,
it's ridiculous.
1636
01:05:17,623 --> 01:05:20,167
It's like a hot
bitch fiesta.
1637
01:05:20,334 --> 01:05:22,128
They're, like,
all ripe and
ready to pop!
1638
01:05:22,211 --> 01:05:24,839
How much money have
we made? How many money
buckets do we have?
1639
01:05:26,382 --> 01:05:27,717
This punch
tastes kind of funny.
1640
01:05:27,883 --> 01:05:29,468
We didn't put
out any punch.
1641
01:05:29,635 --> 01:05:30,678
Oh, no.
1642
01:05:30,845 --> 01:05:31,929
I'm gonna start
phase two, okay?
1643
01:05:32,013 --> 01:05:33,973
Phase two, is we have
to stop the old people
1644
01:05:34,056 --> 01:05:36,058
from calling
the cops, okay?
1645
01:05:36,225 --> 01:05:38,060
If you see any
old people in
here, stop them!
1646
01:05:39,186 --> 01:05:40,730
I don't like this.
Me neither.
1647
01:05:40,896 --> 01:05:42,690
No! Stop drinking that.
1648
01:05:42,857 --> 01:05:44,817
Ha! My tongue is numb.
1649
01:05:45,151 --> 01:05:46,110
Just blend in.
1650
01:05:46,193 --> 01:05:48,321
Yes, blend,
blend, blend.
1651
01:05:48,404 --> 01:05:49,905
Oh, excusez-moi.
1652
01:05:53,409 --> 01:05:55,911
It's a good party.
I am gonna
text my friends.
1653
01:05:56,078 --> 01:05:57,622
No, it's all a lie.
It's a deception.
1654
01:05:57,747 --> 01:05:59,332
They don't think
you're funny, okay?
1655
01:05:59,498 --> 01:06:01,334
What?
Oh, fuck me!
1656
01:06:01,542 --> 01:06:03,377
Oh, you okay?
What's wrong?
1657
01:06:03,544 --> 01:06:05,713
I shouldn't have
eaten that McRib.
1658
01:06:05,880 --> 01:06:06,881
It's no big deal.
1659
01:06:07,048 --> 01:06:09,383
I'm just having
the worst cramps in my life
every five, six minutes.
1660
01:06:09,550 --> 01:06:11,344
Yeah, I think you're
going into labor.
1661
01:06:11,510 --> 01:06:13,387
No, no, no. The baby's
not due till tomorrow.
1662
01:06:13,512 --> 01:06:14,889
You're definitely
going into labor.
1663
01:06:14,972 --> 01:06:16,182
You need to
be timing this.
1664
01:06:17,266 --> 01:06:18,768
Oh, it's passed.
I feel great.
1665
01:06:18,976 --> 01:06:19,977
I told you,
she's not going into labor.
1666
01:06:20,061 --> 01:06:21,062
She's all good, dude.
1667
01:06:21,145 --> 01:06:23,230
Whoo!
There she goes.
1668
01:06:23,397 --> 01:06:25,107
You should
really go after her.
1669
01:06:25,274 --> 01:06:27,401
She's the boss of her
own body, all right?
1670
01:06:27,568 --> 01:06:28,778
The last night of freedom!
1671
01:06:28,944 --> 01:06:30,071
I love you!
1672
01:06:30,196 --> 01:06:31,280
I love you, bubba!
1673
01:06:31,405 --> 01:06:33,866
We have to get upstairs.
That's where
the power source is.
1674
01:06:34,075 --> 01:06:35,451
What are you doing?
Don't drink that!
1675
01:06:36,035 --> 01:06:36,994
What's wrong?
1676
01:06:37,078 --> 01:06:39,121
Come on, dude!
Never drink
the punch!
1677
01:06:39,413 --> 01:06:40,581
Oh. Whoo!
Let's go.
1678
01:06:51,801 --> 01:06:53,552
I saw you
with Teddy.
1679
01:06:53,719 --> 01:06:55,179
Why were you
with Teddy?
1680
01:06:55,554 --> 01:06:56,555
Shh.
1681
01:06:56,639 --> 01:07:00,434
We're gonna kill
the power and
shut down the party.
1682
01:07:01,602 --> 01:07:02,937
What?
1683
01:07:03,604 --> 01:07:06,774
I got real
fucked up really
quickly just now.
1684
01:07:06,941 --> 01:07:08,442
Me, too.
1685
01:07:08,609 --> 01:07:10,319
But all I had
was the punch.
1686
01:07:10,611 --> 01:07:12,530
Shit! We got Cosby'd!
1687
01:07:17,618 --> 01:07:18,619
Yes!
1688
01:07:23,165 --> 01:07:24,792
Kappa Nu,
1689
01:07:25,251 --> 01:07:26,836
good night to you.
1690
01:07:36,929 --> 01:07:39,473
They must have
an alternate
power source.
1691
01:07:39,640 --> 01:07:44,270
Banana!
Banana! Banana!
1692
01:07:44,437 --> 01:07:45,980
Must stop you!
1693
01:07:49,942 --> 01:07:51,819
Oh, my God.
Look how big
my tongue is.
1694
01:07:52,361 --> 01:07:53,779
Look
how big my tongue is.
1695
01:07:56,198 --> 01:07:57,199
Ew!
1696
01:07:57,324 --> 01:07:59,201
Shit! Fuck!
1697
01:07:59,368 --> 01:08:01,370
Party's big enough,
let's call the cops.
Okay.
1698
01:08:01,537 --> 01:08:02,538
Hey, sweet tart!
1699
01:08:02,705 --> 01:08:05,207
It's a little
hard to call the cops
without a phone, ain't it?
1700
01:08:05,374 --> 01:08:07,001
Give us that back!
No!
1701
01:08:07,168 --> 01:08:08,294
Drop it!
1702
01:08:08,461 --> 01:08:10,129
Whoa. Ah!
Ooh.
1703
01:08:10,504 --> 01:08:11,505
What the fuck?
1704
01:08:11,672 --> 01:08:13,007
Called a cord, dumbass!
1705
01:08:13,174 --> 01:08:14,800
Fucking old people phone!
1706
01:08:17,845 --> 01:08:19,138
What the hell?
1707
01:08:19,305 --> 01:08:20,431
Where are our phones?
1708
01:08:20,514 --> 01:08:21,474
Oh, what, these?
1709
01:08:21,557 --> 01:08:23,225
How'd you get those?
1710
01:08:25,436 --> 01:08:26,520
Come on.
1711
01:08:28,314 --> 01:08:29,607
Yo! I couldn't find
the power source.
1712
01:08:29,690 --> 01:08:31,442
Shelby took our phones.
Do you have a phone?
1713
01:08:31,525 --> 01:08:33,486
No, I don't have a phone.
I ran out of data.
1714
01:08:33,652 --> 01:08:34,695
Shit!
1715
01:08:34,862 --> 01:08:35,946
- I'm in here, guys.
- Garage.
1716
01:08:36,030 --> 01:08:37,615
Don't try and
find me though.
1717
01:08:40,075 --> 01:08:42,620
Oh, you're getting warmer.
Getting warmer.
1718
01:08:42,703 --> 01:08:44,205
You're definitely
getting warmer.
1719
01:08:44,371 --> 01:08:45,706
Ooh, ooh.
You're getting warmer.
1720
01:08:45,873 --> 01:08:46,957
Getting warmer.
1721
01:08:47,041 --> 01:08:48,125
Bingo.
1722
01:08:49,210 --> 01:08:50,252
Shit!
1723
01:08:50,336 --> 01:08:51,545
No!
1724
01:08:51,712 --> 01:08:54,131
I'm not gonna let you out
until we're done
raising money, all right?
1725
01:08:54,215 --> 01:08:55,758
There's energy
bars in the corner.
1726
01:08:56,008 --> 01:08:58,010
There's some water,
and there's a poo
bucket if you need it.
1727
01:08:58,093 --> 01:08:59,094
Shit!
1728
01:08:59,178 --> 01:09:00,888
You come back here,
young lady!
1729
01:09:01,055 --> 01:09:02,431
Kelly! Help us!
Shelby!
1730
01:09:02,598 --> 01:09:03,849
Come back here!
1731
01:09:04,558 --> 01:09:06,727
Come back here
right now.
1732
01:09:06,894 --> 01:09:08,896
It's locked. She locked it.
1733
01:09:09,063 --> 01:09:11,398
Okay. Calm down,
let me think.
1734
01:09:12,274 --> 01:09:13,901
All right
here's the plan.
1735
01:09:14,068 --> 01:09:16,445
We're gonna throw
everything we can
at this door.
1736
01:09:16,612 --> 01:09:18,030
What are you doing?
1737
01:09:18,197 --> 01:09:19,532
I'm pooing!
When I'm nervous I poo!
1738
01:09:19,698 --> 01:09:20,699
Look away.
1739
01:09:20,866 --> 01:09:23,911
Suck it back up.
We gotta get out of here.
1740
01:09:24,078 --> 01:09:25,246
Yo, get out
of the way.
1741
01:09:25,412 --> 01:09:26,455
Big man!
1742
01:09:28,791 --> 01:09:30,167
Come on!
1743
01:09:32,753 --> 01:09:33,963
Ooh.
Shit!
1744
01:09:34,129 --> 01:09:37,424
I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
1745
01:09:37,883 --> 01:09:40,010
Let's try
something else.
1746
01:09:40,094 --> 01:09:41,220
I'm fine.
1747
01:09:45,933 --> 01:09:47,810
Oh, shit!
Mac, you okay?
1748
01:09:47,893 --> 01:09:48,894
I'm good.
1749
01:09:53,691 --> 01:09:54,692
Ooh.
1750
01:09:54,817 --> 01:09:56,235
You broke my bike.
1751
01:09:56,318 --> 01:09:57,653
That didn't work.
1752
01:09:57,778 --> 01:09:59,113
No! Do you got
another one in you?
1753
01:09:59,321 --> 01:10:00,447
I think...
1754
01:10:05,244 --> 01:10:06,620
That's it.
1755
01:10:07,496 --> 01:10:08,956
That's our way out.
1756
01:10:10,624 --> 01:10:11,750
That's way too high up.
1757
01:10:11,876 --> 01:10:12,918
No, it's not.
1758
01:10:13,002 --> 01:10:14,753
What are you gonna do?
1759
01:10:15,129 --> 01:10:16,630
I don't have the keys.
Can you hot-wire it?
1760
01:10:16,755 --> 01:10:17,756
We can drive
through the wall.
1761
01:10:18,132 --> 01:10:19,300
No, I don't know
how to hot-wire.
1762
01:10:19,466 --> 01:10:21,635
But I do know
a thing or two about
1763
01:10:22,761 --> 01:10:24,013
airbags.
1764
01:10:26,640 --> 01:10:28,642
Set it down really soft.
1765
01:10:33,647 --> 01:10:34,940
Okay.
1766
01:10:35,274 --> 01:10:37,651
Now if we do
this correctly,
1767
01:10:37,818 --> 01:10:41,488
the force from that airbag
should blast us
straight through that vent.
1768
01:10:42,031 --> 01:10:44,491
Okay. Who's gonna do it?
1769
01:10:44,658 --> 01:10:46,660
I'm gonna do it.
Thank God.
1770
01:10:46,827 --> 01:10:48,287
I don't think
I could do this.
1771
01:10:49,788 --> 01:10:51,248
You okay, man?
1772
01:10:51,540 --> 01:10:53,876
Are we gonna still
hang out after this?
1773
01:10:54,043 --> 01:10:56,003
Are you gonna
wanna hang out with me?
1774
01:10:56,170 --> 01:10:57,504
Yeah.
1775
01:10:57,671 --> 01:11:00,215
And like even though,
like, the war is over,
1776
01:11:00,382 --> 01:11:03,385
I wanna, sort of,
be of value,
you know, to you?
1777
01:11:04,303 --> 01:11:05,512
Yeah.
1778
01:11:07,473 --> 01:11:08,724
Prove it.
1779
01:11:09,016 --> 01:11:10,351
Prove what?
1780
01:11:11,393 --> 01:11:12,478
Hug me.
1781
01:11:14,229 --> 01:11:15,356
I'm good.
1782
01:11:15,731 --> 01:11:17,024
Give me a hug.
1783
01:11:17,191 --> 01:11:18,692
Give me a real hug.
1784
01:11:18,859 --> 01:11:20,235
What does that do?
1785
01:11:20,402 --> 01:11:22,404
It solidifies
the bond, bro.
1786
01:11:24,198 --> 01:11:25,366
Bring it in.
1787
01:11:28,702 --> 01:11:31,038
I appreciate you man.
Thank you.
1788
01:11:32,206 --> 01:11:34,041
This is actually
really nice.
1789
01:11:36,669 --> 01:11:39,171
Oh, man.
This just feels good.
1790
01:11:39,588 --> 01:11:41,382
Yeah, I like that.
Boom! Yeah!
1791
01:11:41,548 --> 01:11:43,717
That's it.
Powerful. Power.
Yeah!
1792
01:11:44,718 --> 01:11:46,303
Yeah!
1793
01:11:46,512 --> 01:11:47,680
Yeah!
1794
01:11:47,763 --> 01:11:49,431
All right,
that's a little much.
1795
01:11:49,598 --> 01:11:50,849
Thanks, buddy!
1796
01:11:51,016 --> 01:11:53,227
Oh, dude. I like this
broing down shit.
1797
01:11:53,394 --> 01:11:55,187
Dude, we are bros, okay?
Yes.
1798
01:11:55,354 --> 01:11:57,064
Let's do this man!
All right.
1799
01:11:57,231 --> 01:11:58,524
Okay, before
you do this,
1800
01:11:58,691 --> 01:12:01,694
maybe just make
100% sure that...
1801
01:12:01,777 --> 01:12:03,278
...you're all
lined up.
1802
01:12:03,445 --> 01:12:04,571
Get ready?
1803
01:12:04,697 --> 01:12:07,825
One! Two!
And three!
Two! Three!
1804
01:12:08,993 --> 01:12:10,536
Oh, God!
1805
01:12:10,786 --> 01:12:12,788
Oh, no!
Are you okay?
1806
01:12:13,038 --> 01:12:14,707
I'm fine. I'm fine.
1807
01:12:14,873 --> 01:12:16,208
I'm fine. I got this.
1808
01:12:16,375 --> 01:12:17,710
No, you don't
got this at all.
1809
01:12:17,793 --> 01:12:19,420
You for sure have
a concussion, man.
1810
01:12:19,586 --> 01:12:22,131
I'm okay. I just
need 10 minutes.
Dude.
1811
01:12:22,339 --> 01:12:23,549
No! I'm gonna
take it from here.
1812
01:12:28,929 --> 01:12:30,347
Be careful.
1813
01:12:31,807 --> 01:12:32,808
Okay.
1814
01:12:33,934 --> 01:12:35,269
It's time.
1815
01:12:44,111 --> 01:12:45,946
Time
to save my family.
1816
01:12:50,993 --> 01:12:52,119
Are you okay?
1817
01:12:52,286 --> 01:12:53,412
It worked!
1818
01:12:55,414 --> 01:12:56,623
Oh, God.
1819
01:12:58,959 --> 01:12:59,960
Whoo.
1820
01:13:00,085 --> 01:13:01,837
Hey, girls!
Guess what?
1821
01:13:02,004 --> 01:13:03,589
I got rid of
the old people.
1822
01:13:03,756 --> 01:13:05,632
They're trapped in
the garage. We're fine.
1823
01:13:05,799 --> 01:13:06,800
What is that?
1824
01:13:06,967 --> 01:13:08,093
Boob! Boob! Boob!
1825
01:13:12,639 --> 01:13:13,640
This party sucks.
1826
01:13:14,266 --> 01:13:15,934
I can't be
here anymore.
1827
01:13:16,101 --> 01:13:17,352
Guys, guys.
We're good.
1828
01:13:17,436 --> 01:13:18,479
Are we though?
1829
01:13:18,645 --> 01:13:19,980
Wet T-shirt contest!
1830
01:13:21,315 --> 01:13:22,483
No! Stop!
1831
01:13:22,649 --> 01:13:24,151
You're all winners.
You're all winners.
1832
01:13:24,318 --> 01:13:25,486
Yeah, baby!
1833
01:13:25,694 --> 01:13:27,154
I think I'm quitting.
1834
01:13:27,321 --> 01:13:28,322
Yeah, I'm quitting, too.
1835
01:13:28,489 --> 01:13:29,490
I'm out.
1836
01:13:29,615 --> 01:13:31,492
No! You all can't quit.
We'll figure it out!
1837
01:13:31,658 --> 01:13:32,785
Wait!
1838
01:13:32,910 --> 01:13:35,412
Wait! Girls, let's
just talk about this
for a second. Okay?
1839
01:13:35,579 --> 01:13:37,039
Stop it! Slow down!
1840
01:13:37,206 --> 01:13:38,332
Hold up! Stop!
1841
01:13:38,499 --> 01:13:40,876
Just stop moving!
Okay? Look...
1842
01:13:41,418 --> 01:13:43,879
Oh, God.
The party's
even bigger.
1843
01:13:46,548 --> 01:13:48,008
What the fuck?
What happened?
1844
01:13:48,175 --> 01:13:49,551
I've been roofied,
so if anyone's
1845
01:13:49,635 --> 01:13:51,178
ever wanted to
have sex with me,
1846
01:13:51,261 --> 01:13:52,429
tonight's the night.
1847
01:13:52,513 --> 01:13:53,806
The plan is
almost done, okay?
1848
01:13:53,889 --> 01:13:56,475
I got the old people away.
Everything's fine.
1849
01:13:56,558 --> 01:13:57,643
We're Kappa Nu.
1850
01:13:57,726 --> 01:14:00,437
This isn't Kappa Nu.
This is not what
we set out for.
1851
01:14:00,521 --> 01:14:02,481
That's what?
That's it?
You're gonna quit?
1852
01:14:02,564 --> 01:14:04,525
Oh, come on.
Don't blame us.
You ruined this.
1853
01:14:04,608 --> 01:14:06,110
I look like Nicki Minaj!
1854
01:14:06,193 --> 01:14:07,611
I look like Snooki.
1855
01:14:07,694 --> 01:14:10,364
I was the only one
trying to save this.
This was all my idea.
1856
01:14:10,447 --> 01:14:12,574
You're literally
running away to quit.
1857
01:14:12,699 --> 01:14:13,909
Whole fucking
thing's imploding.
1858
01:14:13,992 --> 01:14:16,370
So we're gonna
destroy their
friendship?
1859
01:14:16,495 --> 01:14:18,163
No, we're just...
1860
01:14:18,247 --> 01:14:19,456
We got escrows, dude.
1861
01:14:20,207 --> 01:14:23,335
We tried. We tried
our asses off.
This is not gonna work.
1862
01:14:23,418 --> 01:14:26,713
The whole system
is against us and
that's all there is to it.
1863
01:14:26,797 --> 01:14:28,966
All right. I give up.
1864
01:14:29,716 --> 01:14:32,386
We live in a sexist world
and there is nothing
we can do about it.
1865
01:14:32,469 --> 01:14:34,054
I can't believe
this is actually over.
1866
01:14:34,429 --> 01:14:35,889
And now I'm gonna
lose all my friends
1867
01:14:36,014 --> 01:14:37,474
and it's gonna be just
like I was in high school.
1868
01:14:37,558 --> 01:14:38,892
I just wish we
had never started
1869
01:14:38,976 --> 01:14:40,727
this stupid sorority
in the first place.
1870
01:14:40,811 --> 01:14:41,937
I don't like this.
1871
01:14:42,020 --> 01:14:43,272
They shouldn't
be saying that.
1872
01:14:43,355 --> 01:14:44,565
They're just kids.
1873
01:14:45,357 --> 01:14:46,358
No, it's over.
1874
01:14:47,067 --> 01:14:48,402
No, it's done.
1875
01:14:48,569 --> 01:14:50,904
Hey, hey,
hey! Ladies!
1876
01:14:52,573 --> 01:14:53,657
Get your
shit together!
1877
01:14:53,740 --> 01:14:55,075
What's with
the meltdown?
1878
01:14:55,659 --> 01:14:58,787
You're strong, powerful
women and you're trying
to buck the system.
1879
01:14:58,871 --> 01:15:01,748
You're just away from
home for the first time
and you're scared.
1880
01:15:01,832 --> 01:15:03,000
I am scared.
1881
01:15:03,083 --> 01:15:04,209
You got this.
1882
01:15:04,293 --> 01:15:06,211
You know what
the right thing to do is.
You know what's right.
1883
01:15:06,295 --> 01:15:07,379
We know the right
decision to make.
1884
01:15:07,462 --> 01:15:08,505
We know it.
1885
01:15:08,589 --> 01:15:09,798
What's the right
decision to make?
1886
01:15:10,090 --> 01:15:11,758
Don't give up
on yourselves.
1887
01:15:11,925 --> 01:15:13,218
Give us a little more.
1888
01:15:13,302 --> 01:15:14,678
You get knocked down,
you get up again.
1889
01:15:14,761 --> 01:15:16,763
They're never
gonna keep you down.
1890
01:15:16,972 --> 01:15:18,974
Did you just
make that up?
I did.
1891
01:15:19,057 --> 01:15:20,475
Kelly.
1892
01:15:20,684 --> 01:15:22,644
Tell them to make
out with each other.
1893
01:15:23,729 --> 01:15:26,315
Tell them the house
isn't Kappa Nu,
they are.
1894
01:15:26,648 --> 01:15:29,443
This house isn't
your sorority,
you are!
1895
01:15:29,610 --> 01:15:31,153
No, the mom is right.
1896
01:15:31,361 --> 01:15:32,529
Why are we doing
this right now?
1897
01:15:32,613 --> 01:15:34,114
Why don't we
just throw the party
we wanna throw
1898
01:15:34,198 --> 01:15:35,866
and worry about what's
gonna happen tomorrow?
1899
01:15:35,949 --> 01:15:37,492
It doesn't matter
if we lose that.
1900
01:15:37,576 --> 01:15:40,412
It matters
if we lose this.
1901
01:15:47,169 --> 01:15:49,421
- You guys.
- I'm so happy.
1902
01:15:51,465 --> 01:15:52,466
Ooh...
1903
01:15:52,549 --> 01:15:53,800
Sisters' hug!
1904
01:15:53,884 --> 01:15:56,470
I wanna
see them kiss
so fucking bad.
1905
01:15:56,929 --> 01:15:59,223
All right,
let's kick all these
douchebags out of our house.
1906
01:15:59,306 --> 01:16:01,558
Good speech, sweetie!
Thanks, baby.
1907
01:16:01,642 --> 01:16:02,684
Where did that come from?
1908
01:16:02,809 --> 01:16:03,852
We have a daughter, baby.
1909
01:16:03,936 --> 01:16:05,062
What happens with
our escrows now?
1910
01:16:05,145 --> 01:16:07,314
I don't know, but I
think it's the best
possible outcome.
1911
01:16:07,397 --> 01:16:08,398
Okay.
1912
01:16:09,650 --> 01:16:11,985
Jimmy! Jimmy!
Where are you?
1913
01:16:12,236 --> 01:16:13,612
Oh, fuck! Paula.
1914
01:16:17,407 --> 01:16:20,285
Guys, I think
I was wrong.
1915
01:16:20,452 --> 01:16:21,745
It's not the McRib.
1916
01:16:22,663 --> 01:16:24,248
No!
Oh, my God!
1917
01:16:24,331 --> 01:16:25,582
Oh, God!
1918
01:16:25,666 --> 01:16:27,251
It's got my foot!
1919
01:16:27,417 --> 01:16:29,378
Ugh!
It's a breech!
It's a breech!
1920
01:16:30,003 --> 01:16:30,963
Go to the hospital!
1921
01:16:31,046 --> 01:16:32,214
Go to the hospital!
1922
01:16:32,422 --> 01:16:34,341
I love you.
I love you!
1923
01:17:04,663 --> 01:17:06,039
Are we gonna lose
our house?
1924
01:17:06,206 --> 01:17:08,667
I mean we have no money,
so we're definitely
losing it. Yeah.
1925
01:17:08,750 --> 01:17:10,877
Well, we better
blow it out!
1926
01:17:13,297 --> 01:17:16,133
Guys, this party is
amazing. You did it.
1927
01:17:16,216 --> 01:17:19,428
The first
sorority that can party.
We'd all love to join.
1928
01:17:19,511 --> 01:17:20,554
Who's "we"?
1929
01:17:26,393 --> 01:17:29,730
Uh, drop your dues
in the bucket
if you wanna join.
1930
01:17:29,896 --> 01:17:31,148
Do we have
to wear hoodies?
1931
01:17:31,315 --> 01:17:33,734
I mean, no offense
to you guys, but I like
to dress pretty.
1932
01:17:33,900 --> 01:17:36,570
No, dude.
You can totally
wear whatever you want.
1933
01:17:36,945 --> 01:17:38,488
Welcome to Kappa Nu.
1934
01:17:38,572 --> 01:17:39,906
Welcome, you guys!
1935
01:17:43,452 --> 01:17:44,661
Oh, my God!
1936
01:17:44,745 --> 01:17:45,746
Come in.
1937
01:17:45,912 --> 01:17:48,665
Money in the bucket.
Just some money
in the bucket.
1938
01:17:48,749 --> 01:17:50,459
Yeah, just throw it
in the bucket.
1939
01:18:03,847 --> 01:18:04,848
Hey, Pete.
1940
01:18:04,931 --> 01:18:06,058
Pete.
1941
01:18:06,224 --> 01:18:07,726
Pete, wake up, man.
1942
01:18:08,268 --> 01:18:09,269
Pete.
1943
01:18:09,436 --> 01:18:10,854
Dude, what the fuck?
1944
01:18:10,937 --> 01:18:12,272
What are you doing?
1945
01:18:12,439 --> 01:18:14,191
Just calm down.
Just listen.
1946
01:18:14,358 --> 01:18:16,109
I'm sorry, okay?
1947
01:18:16,276 --> 01:18:17,944
I'm sorry.
1948
01:18:18,111 --> 01:18:19,196
When you two
got engaged,
1949
01:18:19,279 --> 01:18:20,906
I was in a bad place
1950
01:18:21,073 --> 01:18:23,283
and I thought I was
losing my best friend.
1951
01:18:23,450 --> 01:18:26,328
Then I realized I'm
never gonna lose you
1952
01:18:27,079 --> 01:18:28,830
because we're brothers.
1953
01:18:29,581 --> 01:18:30,791
Forever.
1954
01:18:31,291 --> 01:18:33,043
Right?
For life.
1955
01:18:33,960 --> 01:18:35,754
I'm not losing
a best friend,
1956
01:18:35,837 --> 01:18:37,964
I'm gaining a best
friend's husband.
1957
01:18:40,300 --> 01:18:41,426
Motherfucker!
1958
01:18:41,468 --> 01:18:44,137
Hey, hey, hey!
It's okay. It's all right.
1959
01:18:44,304 --> 01:18:45,430
Teddy and I are
just making up.
1960
01:18:45,555 --> 01:18:46,640
Okay.
1961
01:18:49,810 --> 01:18:51,645
Um, can I ask
you something?
1962
01:18:52,229 --> 01:18:53,271
Yeah, man.
1963
01:18:55,399 --> 01:18:59,319
Would you maybe
wanna be my best man?
1964
01:19:00,737 --> 01:19:02,447
Holy shit. Really?
Yeah.
1965
01:19:02,614 --> 01:19:03,657
Yes, I'll be your
best man, dude.
1966
01:19:03,824 --> 01:19:05,992
I love you.
Love you, dude.
1967
01:19:06,159 --> 01:19:07,494
You, too!
1968
01:19:07,661 --> 01:19:09,955
- Come over here.
- Get over here!
1969
01:19:10,122 --> 01:19:12,082
I have two
brothers now.
1970
01:19:20,674 --> 01:19:23,009
I see your shitty
be-yourself party
1971
01:19:23,176 --> 01:19:25,804
is even more popular
than your fucking
sell-out party.
1972
01:19:25,971 --> 01:19:26,972
So, that's fantastic.
1973
01:19:27,097 --> 01:19:29,683
Actually, it's really
good for you
1974
01:19:29,850 --> 01:19:33,478
because we are prepared
to give back to
you for helping us
1975
01:19:33,687 --> 01:19:36,356
with your escrowdom.
1976
01:19:36,857 --> 01:19:38,859
We've made
a shit ton of money,
1977
01:19:38,984 --> 01:19:40,986
eight buckets,
actually, full of money,
1978
01:19:41,153 --> 01:19:42,863
and we have way too
many people wanting
1979
01:19:42,988 --> 01:19:44,656
to join our sorority
than we have room for.
1980
01:19:44,823 --> 01:19:46,533
Yeah, we can
actually afford to
fill two houses now.
1981
01:19:47,033 --> 01:19:49,953
Can we rent your
house for overflow?
1982
01:19:50,120 --> 01:19:52,706
- Yeah.
- Just an idea.
1983
01:19:52,873 --> 01:19:57,544
We are prepared to offer
you four buckets of
money per month in rent.
1984
01:19:57,627 --> 01:19:58,628
Five.
1985
01:19:59,713 --> 01:20:01,465
Five. We'll do it
for five buckets.
1986
01:20:01,631 --> 01:20:03,383
Per month.
Five buckets
per month.
1987
01:20:03,550 --> 01:20:05,010
Five buckets it is.
1988
01:20:05,177 --> 01:20:08,138
Fuck, yes!
Eat shit! We win!
1989
01:20:08,722 --> 01:20:09,764
Give us more!
1990
01:20:09,890 --> 01:20:11,057
You can do this
every month?
Yup.
1991
01:20:11,141 --> 01:20:12,142
When can
we move in?
1992
01:20:12,225 --> 01:20:14,436
Right now! Who cares?
Give us the money! Yes!
1993
01:20:14,519 --> 01:20:16,396
We're gonna
be landlords! How
hard could it be?
1994
01:20:17,397 --> 01:20:18,732
Fuck it.
Fuck you!
1995
01:20:21,234 --> 01:20:22,235
Thank you!
1996
01:20:22,402 --> 01:20:24,613
Overflow party!
1997
01:20:46,676 --> 01:20:48,094
Oh, man.
1998
01:20:48,386 --> 01:20:50,222
I'm gonna
miss this place.
1999
01:20:50,764 --> 01:20:52,599
Our first house.
2000
01:20:52,766 --> 01:20:54,184
When Stella
was a little baby.
2001
01:20:54,351 --> 01:20:55,352
Mmm-hmm.
2002
01:20:55,519 --> 01:20:56,937
That's where she
took her first steps.
2003
01:20:57,103 --> 01:20:58,396
Yep.
2004
01:20:58,605 --> 01:20:59,773
That's where she
said her first word.
2005
01:21:01,233 --> 01:21:03,527
Those are the little
notches when she
was growing taller.
2006
01:21:03,693 --> 01:21:05,028
You see your
little notches?
2007
01:21:05,195 --> 01:21:06,780
Remember those, Stels?
2008
01:21:09,574 --> 01:21:11,368
It's all going
by so fast, huh?
2009
01:21:11,535 --> 01:21:12,786
Yeah, it's crazy.
2010
01:21:12,953 --> 01:21:13,954
Yep.
2011
01:21:14,496 --> 01:21:15,497
Okay.
2012
01:21:15,580 --> 01:21:16,915
Let's go.
2013
01:21:17,082 --> 01:21:18,583
Come this way?
2014
01:21:37,227 --> 01:21:38,562
It's our new house!
2015
01:21:38,645 --> 01:21:40,689
You can't even
see the neighbours.
2016
01:21:46,236 --> 01:21:49,072
You know what?
I think we are
good parents.
2017
01:21:49,155 --> 01:21:50,907
I mean, we parented Teddy.
2018
01:21:50,991 --> 01:21:53,827
We parented 30
crazy sorority girls.
2019
01:21:54,119 --> 01:21:55,745
Well, we're trying.
Yeah.
2020
01:21:55,829 --> 01:21:57,038
Because that's all
you can do, right?
2021
01:21:57,163 --> 01:21:58,373
I think so.
2022
01:21:58,456 --> 01:22:00,584
The truth is,
it doesn't even
matter if we're
2023
01:22:00,667 --> 01:22:02,294
good parents or not,
because one day,
2024
01:22:02,377 --> 01:22:03,837
our daughters are
going to look at us
2025
01:22:04,004 --> 01:22:05,422
just like those
sorority girls do.
2026
01:22:05,505 --> 01:22:07,424
They're not gonna want
anything to do with us.
2027
01:22:07,507 --> 01:22:09,092
They're not gonna
wanna talk to us.
2028
01:22:09,175 --> 01:22:10,260
It breaks my heart.
2029
01:22:10,343 --> 01:22:11,344
Momma.
2030
01:22:13,013 --> 01:22:14,014
Are you scared?
2031
01:22:14,514 --> 01:22:15,599
I'm scared.
2032
01:22:15,682 --> 01:22:16,683
Come on, sweetie.
2033
01:22:19,853 --> 01:22:21,187
Come on,
sweetie.
2034
01:22:22,147 --> 01:22:24,065
Hey, cheeky girl!
2035
01:22:24,149 --> 01:22:25,692
Hey, sweetie.
How are you?
2036
01:22:25,859 --> 01:22:26,901
Do you wanna
go to sleep?
2037
01:22:26,985 --> 01:22:28,069
Do you want
to go to sleep?
2038
01:22:28,153 --> 01:22:29,362
Not yet.
2039
01:22:29,446 --> 01:22:31,740
Not yet? You wanna
just hang out for
a little bit more?
2040
01:22:33,491 --> 01:22:34,659
Can you play
Peek-a-boo?
2041
01:22:35,076 --> 01:22:36,077
Peek-a-boo!
2042
01:22:38,538 --> 01:22:39,706
Ooh.
2043
01:22:40,582 --> 01:22:41,833
Peek-a-boo!
2044
01:22:42,250 --> 01:22:43,543
Peek-a-boo!
2045
01:22:44,586 --> 01:22:45,670
Peek-a-boo!
2046
01:22:45,920 --> 01:22:47,922
You'll always be
really nice to us,
won't you?
2047
01:22:48,006 --> 01:22:49,299
You'll always be our
best friend, right?
2048
01:22:49,382 --> 01:22:51,134
We'll always
have things to
talk about, right?
2049
01:22:51,384 --> 01:22:52,385
Mmm-hmm.
2050
01:23:02,187 --> 01:23:03,480
Hey!
Hey, sweetie!
2051
01:23:03,563 --> 01:23:04,856
Hey, sweetie!
2052
01:23:05,023 --> 01:23:06,232
I'm not sad.
2053
01:23:06,399 --> 01:23:07,609
No, I'm fine.
2054
01:23:08,151 --> 01:23:09,319
I love you, sweetie.
2055
01:23:09,402 --> 01:23:10,612
I love you, sweetie.
2056
01:23:11,071 --> 01:23:12,447
Love you.
2057
01:23:23,249 --> 01:23:24,709
How do you feel? Good?
2058
01:23:24,876 --> 01:23:26,294
Yeah.
2059
01:23:26,378 --> 01:23:28,129
The nerves
are kicking
in a little bit.
2060
01:23:28,213 --> 01:23:30,256
Well, you look great.
Thanks!
2061
01:23:30,423 --> 01:23:32,634
You all right?
You seem
really nervous.
2062
01:23:32,717 --> 01:23:34,719
I'm having a little
bit of a meltdown.
2063
01:23:34,928 --> 01:23:36,680
Just remember, man,
2064
01:23:38,223 --> 01:23:40,392
Darren loves you
more than anyone
in the entire world.
2065
01:23:41,685 --> 01:23:43,603
Darren cherishes his
friendship with you.
2066
01:23:45,188 --> 01:23:47,899
Darren can't imagine
his life without you.
2067
01:23:49,484 --> 01:23:52,529
And Darren is proud
to call you his best friend.
2068
01:23:52,612 --> 01:23:54,239
You're not talking
about Darren, are you?
2069
01:23:54,322 --> 01:23:55,407
No, not really.
2070
01:23:56,282 --> 01:23:57,784
Let's get you
married though, huh?
2071
01:23:59,119 --> 01:24:01,162
All right, everybody.
Look alive, look alive!
2072
01:24:01,246 --> 01:24:05,250
We have Groom One
and he is ready to walk
along with his best man.
2073
01:24:05,417 --> 01:24:06,459
You ready for us?
2074
01:24:06,626 --> 01:24:09,087
I'm proud of you, man.
You found your niche.
2075
01:24:09,212 --> 01:24:10,880
This just seemed like
a logical conclusion.
2076
01:24:10,964 --> 01:24:12,048
Gay wedding planning.
2077
01:24:12,132 --> 01:24:14,801
It's a great job,
and you can do it
with a criminal record.
2078
01:24:14,884 --> 01:24:16,886
My only skill is
planning parties.
2079
01:24:16,970 --> 01:24:20,515
And, for some reason,
gay guys specifically,
they just respond to me.
2080
01:24:20,640 --> 01:24:22,434
It's because
you're a great guy.
2081
01:24:22,767 --> 01:24:23,893
Thanks, man.
2082
01:24:23,977 --> 01:24:25,812
And they probably
wanna fuck
the shit out of you.
2083
01:24:25,895 --> 01:24:27,731
Hey, I didn't say it.
2084
01:24:27,814 --> 01:24:28,982
You did.
2085
01:24:29,774 --> 01:24:30,859
Delta Psi.
2086
01:24:31,192 --> 01:24:32,652
Delta Psi.
2087
01:24:33,319 --> 01:24:34,946
Let's get you
married, okay?
2088
01:24:35,113 --> 01:24:36,197
Yes. Let's do it.
2089
01:24:36,281 --> 01:24:37,449
And we are walking.
2090
01:24:39,159 --> 01:24:41,244
Hey, guys,
we're home
with baby Mildred!
2091
01:24:41,786 --> 01:24:43,705
Welcome home!
How's it going?
2092
01:24:43,788 --> 01:24:44,789
How was
the birth?
2093
01:24:45,039 --> 01:24:47,167
It's over now.
Yes.
2094
01:24:47,250 --> 01:24:48,334
Did you shit
on the table?
2095
01:24:48,418 --> 01:24:50,295
No.
Me neither.
2096
01:24:50,378 --> 01:24:51,379
Pro.
2097
01:24:51,463 --> 01:24:53,047
So much shit.
2098
01:24:54,883 --> 01:24:57,010
Aw.
You got a present for
your new little sister?
2099
01:24:57,177 --> 01:24:58,803
Baby's first dildo.
2100
01:24:58,887 --> 01:25:00,555
Thank you, Stella.
2101
01:25:00,638 --> 01:25:02,348
Oh, my God.
You guys are
just like us.
2102
01:25:03,057 --> 01:25:04,142
Go on,
show them.
2103
01:25:04,225 --> 01:25:06,352
This is
Jimmy Jr.'s favorite.
2104
01:25:07,061 --> 01:25:10,231
We kind of have
a "no veins rule"
with our vibrators.
2105
01:25:10,315 --> 01:25:11,816
Maybe get one
without a ball
sack attached to it.
2106
01:25:11,900 --> 01:25:14,778
Put that away.
Put it away.
2107
01:25:14,986 --> 01:25:18,031
Are you ready to
meet your cousin,
Jimmy Jr.?
2108
01:25:18,698 --> 01:25:19,908
Look at her.
2109
01:25:21,034 --> 01:25:23,870
Look at this.
Families are meeting.
2110
01:25:24,913 --> 01:25:26,623
Look at that.
Oh, my God.
2111
01:25:26,706 --> 01:25:29,000
"Hi, Jimmy Jr.
I'm Mildred."
2112
01:25:29,250 --> 01:25:30,251
Cute.
2113
01:25:30,543 --> 01:25:33,963
"Hi, Mildred. One day,
we are going to fuck!"
2114
01:25:34,047 --> 01:25:35,632
"No, that's never
going to happen
2115
01:25:35,715 --> 01:25:38,092
"because my parents are
gonna teach me
to respect myself
2116
01:25:38,176 --> 01:25:39,969
"and stay away
from guys like you."
2117
01:25:40,053 --> 01:25:41,554
I could do this all day.
I could, too.
2118
01:25:41,721 --> 01:25:43,014
We're gonna go.
We're gonna get
out of your hair.
2119
01:25:43,223 --> 01:25:45,058
Thank you for
watching Stella.
Thank you, guys.
2120
01:25:45,225 --> 01:25:46,518
Oh, my God. Anytime.
2121
01:25:46,601 --> 01:25:47,644
Bye. She's beautiful.
2122
01:25:47,727 --> 01:25:49,479
Thanks, you guys.
Thanks, guys.
2123
01:25:49,896 --> 01:25:51,022
Bye.
2124
01:25:52,065 --> 01:25:53,399
We did it.
We did it.
2125
01:25:53,483 --> 01:25:55,235
We had another kid.
We got another one.
2126
01:25:56,069 --> 01:25:57,403
I love you.
I love you.
2127
01:25:58,655 --> 01:26:01,407
Stella, you wanna
kiss your sister? Hey.
142366
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