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Welcome to the Villa Capri.
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00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:02,416
Located in the heart of the desert
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00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:05,353
is the resort community
that takes you to paradise.
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00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:07,872
You've worked hard all of your life,
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00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:09,191
and now...
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No!
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That son of a bitch
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is in Palm Springs.
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He's basking
in the sun and playing golf.
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While my husband
is drinking toilet wine in supermax!
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00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:53,513
Now the only thing that I want
from you for Christmas
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00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:57,116
is that rat's head in a box!
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And make it look like it's an accident.
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00:02:14,640 --> 00:02:17,474
♪ A few more days till Christmas ♪
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♪ My favorite time of year ♪
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♪ If we're lucky we'll see Santa ♪
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00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:27,996
♪ Rudolph and his eight reindeer ♪
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00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:32,032
♪ The snow keeps on fallin' ♪
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00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:35,589
♪ Sleddin' down the hill ♪
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00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:39,752
♪ Frosty's frozen on the lawn ♪
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♪ Countin' down the days until ♪
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00:02:43,920 --> 00:02:46,719
♪ We gather 'round decorate the tree ♪
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♪ Singin' holiday songs ♪
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♪ Spices fill the air ♪
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♪ Smell of cookies everywhere ♪
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Hi, Duke.
Hey.
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00:02:58,520 --> 00:03:00,477
♪ A few more days to Christmas ♪
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00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:04,229
♪ The very best time of year ♪
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00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:08,496
♪ Firelight is glowing ♪
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00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:11,752
♪ On everything we hold dear ♪
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00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:15,552
♪ Just a few more days till Christmas ♪
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♪ A few more days ♪
♪ Till Christmas is here ♪
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Hi.
Thank you.
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00:03:26,920 --> 00:03:27,831
Santa!
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00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:31,056
Oh! You're very generous, Duke.
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00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:32,912
Could I get you to sign
this receipt for me?
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00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:35,776
Sure thing. You just bought your way off
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00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:37,154
the naughty list.
Pleasure.
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00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:41,234
♪ Rudolph and his eight reindeer ♪
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00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:44,794
♪ Firelight is glowing ♪
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00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:47,794
♪ On everything we hold dear ♪
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00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:51,872
♪ Just a few more days till Christmas ♪
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♪ A few more days till Christmas ♪
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- Hey boss!
- Great job, guys. Very festive.
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00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:30,673
Excuse me. This is Mr. Diver's spot.
Perfect!
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00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:34,358
Mr. Diver make you wear those clothes?
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00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:40,916
Shine it up for me, Elf.
49
00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:47,456
- Nice tree.
- Who is that in my parking spot?
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00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:50,136
Oh, that's a new resident,
Leo McKay.
51
00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:52,376
Yeah, he just checked in
last night and he's actually very...
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00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:54,869
He's got a ten-gallon hat
on a five-gallon head.
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00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:56,156
Paid all cash.
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00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:00,237
Cash?
55
00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:03,829
Well...
56
00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:07,280
Let's invite him to my private poker game.
57
00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:08,550
You got it.
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00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:10,440
I'll show him who's boss.
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00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:13,319
In the nicest way.
Of course.
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00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:18,240
It's crooked.
Hm?
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00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:23,216
And there's a bald spot.
So what? A lot of trees have flaws.
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00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:24,469
A lot of people have flaws.
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00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:27,456
You can put the bad side
of a tree against the wall.
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00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:29,073
What do you do
with the bad side of people?
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00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:31,832
That's deep.
Write it down.
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00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:35,591
Greetings, my darling.
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00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:38,736
Be a dear and get 5,000
out of petty cash for me.
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00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:39,671
Not a problem.
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00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:42,152
Got some stuff for you to sign here, Sir.
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00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:46,456
Did you know that the builders
of the great cathedrals of Europe
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00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:48,936
would leave a small flaw
in the stone somewhere
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00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:51,336
just to acknowledge
that only God is perfect?
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00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:52,456
Where do you learn all this stuff?
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00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:53,896
College of life, my boy.
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00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:56,416
Well, we've got
the gardener's Christmas bonus,
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00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:58,056
the extra security cameras for your villa,
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00:05:58,080 --> 00:05:59,799
the bonus you asked me
to pay out to the entire staff,
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00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:03,296
live animals for the nativity scene.
The camels were a little expensive.
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00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:05,198
You can't a nativity without camels.
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00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:07,074
The Wise Men came from the East.
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00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:08,336
Got to give them respect.
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00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:11,239
Oh, and we have a letter
from the Rotary Club
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00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:12,376
confirming your acceptance
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00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:14,710
of Man of the Year Honors...
I can't accept. Can't accept.
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00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:16,873
I'm uncomfortable in the limelight.
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00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:18,675
You seem comfortable in the limelight.
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00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:21,976
My golf clubs! Oh, perfect, perfect!
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00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:25,056
So, I had them close the face
on the driver by a degree and a half.
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00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:27,151
You've been slicing a little recently.
Should take care of it.
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00:06:27,280 --> 00:06:28,350
Good, good, good.
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00:06:28,840 --> 00:06:31,816
I think I'll just run on out to the range
and let the big dogs eat.
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00:06:31,840 --> 00:06:32,796
Oh, Duke!
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00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:34,431
Hm?
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00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:36,599
Five thou. Mm-hm.
Thank you, my darlin'.
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00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:43,352
Duke, you checkin' me out?
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00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:45,672
Every delicious inch.
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00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:47,439
That's a nice tree you got this year.
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00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:48,896
Well, thank you,
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00:06:48,920 --> 00:06:50,936
but I'm a little concerned
that some of the residents
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00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:52,917
might not like a flocked tree.
101
00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:55,991
Well, you know me, Duke.
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00:06:57,520 --> 00:07:00,115
I like a nice flockin' from time to time.
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00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:03,456
A bit of Henkell's Trocken
for my darlin'?
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00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:05,896
Whatever.
105
00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:09,709
It's a little before
my bedtime, but...
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00:07:10,040 --> 00:07:14,376
Aw, it's always your bedtime, Duke.
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00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:16,960
But darlin', you know a man's nature
is a man's...
108
00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:26,477
Hey, why don't I go and enhance
the fireplace in the boudoir.
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00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:27,696
Would you like that?
110
00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:29,279
Yeah, I would.
Okay!
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00:07:38,720 --> 00:07:40,837
Hope you don't mind.
I let myself in.
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00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:42,711
Pour moi?
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00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:47,136
Uh... of course!
114
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:53,072
What is the color of that silk
against your skin?
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00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:56,896
There's a painting by Caravaggio.
You could have been...
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00:07:56,920 --> 00:07:58,240
It's plum.
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And you're my plum.
118
00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:01,336
Oh!
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00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:06,696
Listen, darling, I... I'm just gonna go
and... lock up, turn out all the lights,
120
00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:09,576
and come back
and submit to your every whim.
121
00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:12,536
My every whim.
122
00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:16,069
Oh... Hurry back.
123
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:27,789
Uh... Marguerite darlin',
I... I think the...
124
00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:32,536
Zoloft and the Lipitor
are kicking in a little early on me.
125
00:08:32,560 --> 00:08:34,119
I... I feel woozy.
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00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:35,960
- Hold on a minute.
- What?
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00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:38,176
Have you got
another woman in there?
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00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:43,536
Oh, Marguerite... you hurt me
with your accusation.
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00:08:43,560 --> 00:08:47,936
You twist the knife. The wound bleeds.
130
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:51,056
You... you get such pleasure
out... out of my discomfort.
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00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:52,912
I... I just don't...
Hold on a second, mister.
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00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,673
You didn't answer my question.
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00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:57,957
Darling, trust me...
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00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:01,391
I speak from the heart when I say...
135
00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:06,976
Yes, there's a woman in the bedroom.
136
00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:09,196
All right. Well...
137
00:09:10,040 --> 00:09:15,016
I know I'm not your one and only,
and we've got a grown-up relationship.
138
00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:16,997
Yes.
So, I'll...
139
00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:19,150
Well, I'll just say good night.
140
00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:24,376
I'm fine.
N... no! Let me, let me...
141
00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:26,756
- let me walk you to your door, okay?
- Mm-hm.
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00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:30,758
In your own way, Duke,
you are strangely chivalrous.
143
00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:33,616
Merci beaucoup.
144
00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:36,136
Still a cat,
of course, but you got rules.
145
00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:38,720
Aw, I consider myself a gentleman.
146
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:47,793
And so, "Good night. Good night.
Parting is such sweet sorrow.
147
00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:51,274
I shall say good night
till it be 'morrow."
148
00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:54,776
Can I quote you on that?
149
00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:56,314
Well, you be my guest, Romeo.
150
00:09:57,080 --> 00:10:00,536
Actually, I'm... I'm surprised you even
considered a little romance tonight
151
00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:01,630
given the circumstances.
152
00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:03,351
Circumstances?
153
00:10:03,680 --> 00:10:04,670
Well, this is your poker night.
154
00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:07,071
Ciao.
155
00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:10,669
Uh... poker?
156
00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:13,536
Poker!
157
00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:26,438
I got the feeling that the Duke
158
00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:30,474
needed a little... Roberta.
159
00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:34,235
Uh, yes.
160
00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:37,239
The Duke... the Duke always needs
a little Roberta.
161
00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:43,396
Well, from the way you just said it,
it sounds like a "not tonight".
162
00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:49,296
Well, I have a meeting
that requires urgent attention, darling.
163
00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:51,437
At night?
It's morning in China.
164
00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:59,336
Uh, well, good night, good night, darling.
Parting is such sweet sorrow.
165
00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:05,391
"A horse, a horse.
My kingdom for a horse."
166
00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:08,356
Mm-hm.
167
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:20,576
So, a guy comes home from the doctor's.
168
00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:23,616
He tells his wife,
"Honey, I got terrible news."
169
00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:24,536
Terrible news.
170
00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:26,950
"Doctor says, I only got
12 hours to live."
171
00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:29,616
Uh-huh.
Wife says, "Oh dear, that's terrible.
172
00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:33,056
That's terrible. I'll do anything for you.
Whatever you want."
173
00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:37,472
And he says, "I want to have wild sex
with you all night long."
174
00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:39,536
And she looks at him and says,
175
00:11:39,560 --> 00:11:41,896
"Easy for you to say. You don't have
to get up in the morning."
176
00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:45,936
That's funny! That's very funny!
177
00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:48,176
All right. Who's betting?
Who's betting? Who's betting?
178
00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:52,576
It's me, and I'm goin' in for big money.
'cause I wanna take everything you got.
179
00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:55,016
I'll see your 100 and raise you two.
180
00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:57,776
That' a 100 bucks!
181
00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:59,536
I'll see you, I'll see you.
182
00:11:59,560 --> 00:12:01,296
I heard this is where the action's at.
183
00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:02,296
Who the hell are you?
184
00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:04,736
I'm Leo McKay. I'm moving into um...
185
00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:06,736
Villa 71. Welcome, neighbor.
186
00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:07,671
Hi.
187
00:12:08,560 --> 00:12:11,871
I'm Duke Diver, resident manager
of this little corner of paradise.
188
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:15,256
These are my cronies.
Duke's a legend.
189
00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:16,736
Legends ain't what they used to be,
are they?
190
00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:18,256
Yeah, but you don't know Duke.
191
00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:20,376
He's a resident champion
of everything around here.
192
00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:21,754
Guys, you're embarrassing me.
193
00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:24,816
I'm just a country boy
tryin' to fade into the sunset
194
00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:26,016
with smile on my face.
195
00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:27,136
Ain't we all?
196
00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:29,616
But I gotta warn you, cousin,
we play for real money here.
197
00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:32,030
Well, I'll try to keep up.
198
00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:34,712
- Oh.
- Holy shit... That's a wad, man!
199
00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:38,136
Shit just got real up in here!
200
00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:40,376
That's my alimony, I can't, man,
this is two months...
201
00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:41,197
Okay.
202
00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:42,470
Now, where you from, Leo?
203
00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:46,714
I'm a citizen of the world.
Mogadishu, Jakarta, Kabul.
204
00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:48,920
All the vacation spots.
205
00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:52,096
Military?
No. Ex-military.
206
00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:54,271
Currently entrepreneur.
207
00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:57,296
International trade.
I buy stuff, sell stuff.
208
00:12:57,320 --> 00:12:58,231
Like?
209
00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:02,176
Gas, guns, oil, trains, trucks.
Big stuff. I like big stuff.
210
00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:06,994
And a man of mystery.
211
00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:10,950
How about we play some cards?
212
00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:12,936
What's your game, cousin?
213
00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:17,176
You like Five Card Draw, Stud,
Omaha, Texas Hold 'Em?
214
00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:18,111
Texas will do.
215
00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:19,631
Deal 'em, Joey.
216
00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:22,349
And a five and a ten, ten.
217
00:13:22,680 --> 00:13:23,591
Ace high.
218
00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:25,256
Why don't we double that.
219
00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:28,079
- Wow.
- You guys are bank robbers.
220
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:29,759
Gotta know when to fold.
221
00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:33,595
My 700. Here's the river.
222
00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:37,496
Look at that!
223
00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:41,496
I'm gonna... just for the shit's sake,
I'm gonna bump it two.
224
00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:42,416
There's nine.
225
00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:44,033
Burt, what are you? You all-in?
I'm out.
226
00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:45,896
And I'm all-in.
227
00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:47,976
Oh man! What we gonna do?
228
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:50,136
Okay, y'all. Read 'em and weep.
229
00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:52,776
- Full boat, aces up.
- Holy shit!
230
00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:54,029
We warned ya, Leo!
231
00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:57,518
- That's four tens.
- What?
232
00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:01,696
- Four tens.
- Damn, he beat Duke.
233
00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:03,096
I am deader than dead.
234
00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:04,440
I'm all cleaned out.
235
00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:06,157
Damn, I was lucky!
236
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:08,976
Sometimes you step in horseshit
and you wind up smellin'...
237
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:11,720
Excuse me, you know,
I think that one's mine.
238
00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:13,856
I didn't see that.
239
00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:16,554
What do you want? Why'd you come here?
240
00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:19,320
I came here to continue developing
my business empire
241
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:21,992
while working on my shaky golf game.
242
00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:24,870
Oh, you... you play golf?
243
00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:28,136
Not well, but honestly and earnestly.
244
00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:30,776
Well, uh, perhaps
you will give me the chance
245
00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:32,776
to win back my money on the golf course.
246
00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:33,856
Perhaps I will.
247
00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:34,791
SNICKERS
248
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:38,835
You know, a true gentleman
does not walk away a winner.
249
00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:41,829
A true gentleman keeps the game alive.
250
00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:46,477
Oh, my, my, my, my! Behold the evidence.
251
00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:48,896
Whatever can it mean?
252
00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:52,496
She's lookin' for deep comfort
and companionship and maybe a soulmate.
253
00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:53,510
Nuh-uh.
254
00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:55,616
She's not lookin' for soulmate.
255
00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:58,838
She's lookin' for a few precious hours
of intimate connections
256
00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:00,736
with no questions asked.
257
00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:03,176
Maybe I'll just go over there
and pick up the tab, huh?
258
00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:04,156
Can't compete with that.
259
00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:08,191
Shit!
260
00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:11,357
Well, could if I wanted to.
261
00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:14,136
Can I buy you another round?
262
00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:16,072
You can scram is what you can do.
263
00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:25,536
♪ The first noel ♪
264
00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:28,736
♪ The angel did say ♪
265
00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:35,553
♪ Was to certain poor shepherds ♪
♪ In fields as they lay ♪
266
00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:42,520
♪ In fields where they ♪
♪ Lay keeping their sheep ♪
267
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:44,559
Season's greetin's, y'all.
268
00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:48,256
Good news to report.
Mike Shank from villa 68
269
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:50,896
had a successful hip replacement surgery
270
00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:54,816
and should be back to the Villa Capri
in just a few days.
271
00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:55,876
What the...
272
00:15:57,160 --> 00:15:59,880
That's not my regular camel guy.
Where's my regular camel guy?
273
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:01,634
Uh, he's uh, under the weather.
274
00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:06,016
Oh, uh, corporate is sending
a regional director down
275
00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:07,793
to do a year-end review in case it...
276
00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:09,456
slipped your mind.
277
00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:14,794
I will look down upon him
from a great height. Bring him on.
278
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:16,593
Yeah. Bring him on.
279
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:21,716
Ladies, have you seen the new guy?
280
00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:24,795
He's moving into villa 71.
281
00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:28,176
There's new food on the buffet.
282
00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:29,296
Yes.
283
00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:32,096
Oh, in the air, there's a feelin'
of Christmas.
284
00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:35,176
I'm Leo McKay,
and you young ladies might be...
285
00:16:38,680 --> 00:16:39,477
Look at that.
286
00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:43,576
I spent years juggling stories
to keep those women apart,
287
00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:46,296
and in 20 minutes,
he's got them lined up for a three-way.
288
00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:49,616
Well, uh, four-way if anybody's countin'.
289
00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:51,576
He's not showing me any respect.
290
00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:53,096
- No respect.
- No. Nothin'.
291
00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:55,954
But he's gonna find out this is my town.
292
00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:58,631
You're the Duke and this is your domain.
I told you.
293
00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:01,116
- Don't upset him, Larry!
- Duke don't like that.
294
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:08,714
Well, hello.
Hello.
295
00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:11,560
I'm Roberta. We met earlier.
296
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:13,976
You know, I neglected to mention
297
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:18,296
that as president
of the Glad-Handers Welcome Wagon Club
298
00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:24,396
here at Villa Capri Resort Community,
I just wanted to say Merry Christmas.
299
00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:30,056
Oh! You know,
I could help you fix the place up.
300
00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:32,151
You know, a little Feng Shui.
301
00:17:33,080 --> 00:17:33,991
Oh!
302
00:17:36,120 --> 00:17:38,296
I got skills.
I'll bet you do.
303
00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:40,994
What you got back here? The dinin' room?
304
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,270
The bedroom. Giddy-up!
305
00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:55,136
Hi. I'm Marguerite
with the Welcome Wagon Club.
306
00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:57,496
- Are you a Glad-Hander?
- How'd you know?
307
00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:02,656
As secretary-treasurer, I brought
a little somethin' to warm up your place.
308
00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:05,275
A work of art.
My sentiments exactly.
309
00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:08,816
And thank you.
For what?
310
00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:12,675
Did you just invite me in
for a little vino?
311
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:16,350
Red? I love red.
312
00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:19,416
I love white. I love it all.
313
00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:23,216
Well, then how about a lovely Margaux
for a lovely Margot? Can I call you that?
314
00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:24,959
You can call me whatever you like.
315
00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:28,016
By the way, I am in villa 52.
316
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:30,616
And I'm in villa 36.
What you gonna call me?
317
00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:33,016
Oh my God! How did you get here before me?
318
00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:35,456
You know that the by-laws
of our club clearly state
319
00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:38,016
that the president
and not the secretary-treasurer
320
00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:39,599
should be the first Welcomer on the scene.
321
00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:41,536
Okay, well let's just call this
an unofficial visit.
322
00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:42,516
Unofficial?
Why don't we just have a taste
323
00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:43,856
of this delightful vintage?
324
00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:47,096
- Oh!
- Don we now our straight apparel.
325
00:18:47,120 --> 00:18:48,536
- Oh, my God!
- And what office
326
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:51,314
of Glad-Handers Welcome Wagon Club
might you hold?
327
00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:53,496
Sergeant-at-arms.
328
00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:55,816
Flag flying stiff and ready, I bet.
329
00:18:55,840 --> 00:18:57,536
I think this party's just gettin' started.
330
00:18:57,560 --> 00:19:00,439
- Here, why don't I take you to dinner?
- All of us?
331
00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:04,976
Thank you.
332
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:07,196
- Oh, boy.
- Oh, yes, Sir.
333
00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:10,191
Look at him. Look at him.
334
00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:13,993
He's got all three of 'em?
335
00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:18,176
He's bangin' your entire harem, boss.
336
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:21,272
Oh my God! Some big,
brass huevos he's got!
337
00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:22,875
Is he punkin' you, boss?
338
00:19:23,360 --> 00:19:25,456
He's playin' into my hand
is what he's doin'.
339
00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:28,936
He said his golf game is shaky,
am I right?
340
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,360
- That's what he said.
- That's what he said.
341
00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:34,394
Well, gentlemen, who knows
this golf course better than me?
342
00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:38,536
- Old cowboy's in trouble now.
- Oh, I feel bad for Leo.
343
00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:40,438
We'll see.
344
00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:52,398
I hereby challenge you to 18 holes of golf
tomorrow morning at 9 a.m. sharp.
345
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:56,696
Cowboy done stepped in it now.
346
00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:06,518
We hear that you consider
yourself a citizen of the world.
347
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:09,296
Now exactly what does that mean to you?
348
00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:10,376
It means that I have traveled
349
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:13,056
from the Cape of Good Hope
to the Black Sea,
350
00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:16,835
from Machu Picchu to Brunelleschi's Dome.
351
00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:20,278
I have been to the birthplace
of Mr. Shakespeare.
352
00:20:21,360 --> 00:20:24,456
And I have been to the gravesite
of Mr. Lombardi.
353
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:25,516
Oh.
354
00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:32,176
I rose from the dusty fields
to the gilded halls of power,
355
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:34,696
first in the military
and then in the business world,
356
00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:37,838
and yet, to this day, I retain my touch
to the common man!
357
00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:40,296
For that is who I am.
358
00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:43,816
Oh, Mr. McKay, you are indeed a poet.
359
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:46,150
I'm not a poet but I have read
the great works.
360
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:48,736
Would you favor us with a poem?
361
00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:50,056
Pretty please.
362
00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:53,136
Well, why not? Um, Baudelaire?
363
00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:54,496
More modernist, maybe?
364
00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:56,776
Yeats? Williams? Cummings?
365
00:20:56,800 --> 00:21:02,159
Or... or perhaps something a little more...
earthier with a...
366
00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:04,336
backdrop of Christmas.
367
00:21:04,360 --> 00:21:05,510
The last one.
368
00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:06,831
May I?
369
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:08,311
Uh..
370
00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:12,096
"There are strange things done
in the midnight sun
371
00:21:12,120 --> 00:21:14,077
By the men who moil for gold;
372
00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:17,656
The Artic trails have their savage tales
373
00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:20,056
That will make your blood run cold;
374
00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:22,216
The Northern Lights
have seen queer sights,
375
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:23,896
But the queerest they ever did see
376
00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:25,256
Was that night on the marge
377
00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:28,557
Of Lake Lebarge I cremated Sam McGee."
378
00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:31,754
Romeo! Romeo!
"Now Sam McGee was from Tennessee..."
379
00:21:32,360 --> 00:21:34,296
Oh, Romeo! I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
380
00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:35,800
I'm sorry, he broke away.
381
00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:38,776
He's a sweetheart
but I can never shut him up.
382
00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:41,759
Sit. Be a good dog.
383
00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:44,119
Sit down.
384
00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:48,671
How'd you do that?
385
00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:50,256
I like dogs.
386
00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:51,430
Oh! Yeah?
387
00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:55,336
I'm Leo McKay.
Oh, Suzie Quince.
388
00:21:55,360 --> 00:21:56,999
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
389
00:21:57,560 --> 00:22:00,336
I'm so sorry to interrupt
whatever it is you're doing.
390
00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:01,510
That's quite all right.
391
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:04,400
Okay. Well, carry on.
392
00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:11,357
"On Christmas Day we were mushing
our way along the Dawson trail.
393
00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:14,096
Talk of your cold!
Through the parkas fold.
394
00:22:14,120 --> 00:22:15,156
It stabbed like a...
395
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:20,998
it stabbed like a driven nail."
396
00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:33,776
Sr. Jiménez!
397
00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:36,190
Miguel Jiménez! That's it.
398
00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:37,696
Here he comes.
399
00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:39,837
That's it. Loosen up, Dukie.
400
00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:41,176
You got 'em now.
401
00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:46,038
Good morning! I accept your challenge.
402
00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:47,834
Well, I'm loose as a goose.
403
00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:52,120
Mark Twain said that golf
is a good walk spoiled, but I say...
404
00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:54,736
It's a good walk enhanced.
405
00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:56,816
Except that neither one of us
is walking, huh?
406
00:22:56,840 --> 00:22:59,856
Details, details, details.
407
00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:00,836
I am a big picture man.
408
00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:05,216
Uh, boss, we got a problem.
409
00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:07,176
What?
This guy can flat-out play!
410
00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:08,793
He said his game was shaky.
411
00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:11,376
His shaky is better than your shaky.
412
00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:12,720
Wait...
Boss.
413
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:14,456
We watched him warm up this morning.
414
00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:17,154
This guy can flat out hit. I ain't lyin'.
415
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:18,616
I got a short game.
416
00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:21,456
He's got a short game, too,
and a long game.
417
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:22,576
I assume I have the honors.
418
00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:23,536
Uh, yes, you do.
419
00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:26,856
Um, just a word of caution.
Out of bounds is to your right.
420
00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:28,536
That's the way I like it.
421
00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:29,630
It's to the left.
422
00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:42,919
Oh shit! The guy can hit the ball.
423
00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:46,056
Is that a legal club?
I don't think that's a legal club.
424
00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:47,776
My side bet with you is off.
425
00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:49,416
We might as well get some new girlfriends.
426
00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:51,936
Thanks for the confidence, fellas.
Gee whiz!
427
00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:54,616
Well, you're a thinking man.
It's a thinking man's game.
428
00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:56,696
I think I'm gonna
hit a three wood out here.
429
00:23:56,720 --> 00:23:57,816
Three wood. Good idea.
430
00:23:57,840 --> 00:23:58,956
Are you sure?
Yeah that'll be good.
431
00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:01,436
Yeah, okay.
432
00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:03,231
Let it fly.
433
00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:05,176
Oh shit!
434
00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:08,296
It's a damn cobra!
435
00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:10,960
Gun! Gun!
I... I... I got it! I got it!
436
00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:13,776
- Damn!
- I got it! I got it!
437
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:14,711
You see that?
438
00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:21,592
Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
439
00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:24,158
Okay, die, viper!
440
00:24:26,120 --> 00:24:27,998
- You got him surrounded.
- Still movin'!
441
00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:31,160
Don't hurt yourself with that thing.
442
00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:34,799
Somebody bring a beer cooler, please.
443
00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:41,712
Somebody put a cap on...
put a top on the bucket.
444
00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:45,616
I never had you figured
for a man packin' iron
445
00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:46,915
even if it is a peashooter.
446
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:49,716
You never know
who's lurkin' around.
447
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:53,336
Take him to the Serpentarium in 29 Palms.
448
00:24:53,360 --> 00:24:56,096
Look out! Look out!
449
00:24:56,120 --> 00:24:58,496
Sit... sit on that thing.
Sit on it, you're the biggest.
450
00:24:58,520 --> 00:24:59,431
Come on.
451
00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:05,312
Oh! Goddamn!
452
00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:07,576
Wait! Wait!
453
00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:13,496
- You're good. Sit on it now. Sit down.
- Sit down.
454
00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:14,416
Oh, we're good.
455
00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:15,336
I almost got bit.
456
00:25:15,360 --> 00:25:16,816
I'm not going anywhere near that golf bag.
457
00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:17,990
You bailin' out of our game?
458
00:25:18,120 --> 00:25:21,576
I have trouble swingin' a golf club
with a rattlesnake wrapped around it, Leo.
459
00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:26,595
You're afraid to play me.
I'm not afraid of anything or anyone.
460
00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:30,991
Coward.
461
00:25:32,120 --> 00:25:33,256
Doin' a good job, Burt.
462
00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:36,956
- Come on, I need a drink.
- I think it's happy hour.
463
00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:41,359
Sit on that thing...
Leo, hell am I supposed to do now?
464
00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:43,359
Hell, I don't know. Not my problem.
465
00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:45,831
Sit on it!
466
00:25:47,120 --> 00:25:50,416
When a man lets another man
take care of his golf bag, Jimmy,
467
00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:52,136
he has certain expectations.
468
00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:56,120
You think a snake zipped himself
into a pocket in my bag?
469
00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:58,550
Snakes don't have opposable thumbs.
470
00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:00,914
This was not an accident.
471
00:26:03,120 --> 00:26:04,031
Shit!
472
00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:07,516
What took you so long?
473
00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:09,111
Oh, thank you.
474
00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:12,656
I see I'm gonna have
to teach you a lesson.
475
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:14,616
I would love to have another poker lesson
476
00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:16,757
unless you find it easier
just to write me a check.
477
00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:19,551
Tell me somethin',
did you move to Villa Capri
478
00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:20,856
just to piss me off?
479
00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:22,776
No, that was just a happy by-product.
480
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:24,976
But this anger is doin' you a lot of good.
481
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:26,776
It gets the blood circulating
throughout your entire body
482
00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:28,056
instead of down there in your little ol'...
483
00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:30,276
You're lucky I have a commitment
of a higher calling at home.
484
00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:34,717
You and I... just gettin' started.
485
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:37,956
I can hardly wait.
486
00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:40,311
Nice fella.
487
00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:50,591
Tell me he's dead.
488
00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:54,709
I... I... I know!
489
00:26:54,840 --> 00:26:56,816
I told you to make it look
like an accident,
490
00:26:56,840 --> 00:26:58,991
but a snake in his golf bag?
491
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:00,911
Sweetie,
492
00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:03,959
murder him the old-fashioned way.
493
00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:08,656
Attention, residents...
494
00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:12,117
The annual tree lighting
is about to begin in the banquet hall.
495
00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:15,856
Come enjoy the holiday season,
sip some eggnog,
496
00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:18,936
and see everyone's favorite Santa Claus.
497
00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:24,555
♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ♪
498
00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:28,840
♪ 'Tis the season ♪
♪ To be jolly fa-la-la... ♪
499
00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:33,319
Hey, uh, whoa, whoa!
500
00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:35,616
Santa, what the hell
do you think you're doin'?
501
00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:37,416
This is my job.
Oh, no, no, no. It's not.
502
00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:39,616
I was hired by the corporation
that owns Villa Capri
503
00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:42,314
and 26 other luxury villages
in California.
504
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:45,479
My party rental company will supply
Santas, Easter Bunnies,
505
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:48,718
fire and drum trios for the Fourth,
and all holidays through the year.
506
00:27:49,040 --> 00:27:50,056
I just signed the contract.
507
00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:51,116
Well, ho, ho, ho.
508
00:27:51,360 --> 00:27:53,016
You're tellin' me
you're a corporate Santa?
509
00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:55,536
It's a gig.
It's a sacred trust!
510
00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:57,870
Sacred trust to you.
20 bucks an hour to me.
511
00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:01,016
♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly ♪
512
00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:02,110
♪ Fa-la-la-la-la... ♪
513
00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:03,276
It's a disgrace.
514
00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:05,496
♪ 'Tis the season to be jolly ♪
515
00:28:05,520 --> 00:28:07,736
Hello, Palms Springs!
Thank you all for comin' out.
516
00:28:07,760 --> 00:28:09,114
Duke's not gonna like this.
517
00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:11,955
- Who is this guy?
- Here comes the freight train.
518
00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:15,056
I got your ho-ho right here.
519
00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:17,836
Yes!
520
00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:22,317
That ain't the real Santa.
I'm the real Santa.
521
00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:24,896
This guy's a fraud, a phony.
522
00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:27,230
He's a sleazy, corporate heathen!
523
00:28:34,760 --> 00:28:35,856
Go, Black Santa!
524
00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:44,353
There ya go! Back to the North Pole!
525
00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:53,230
What got into you?
526
00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:55,736
I don't like people
fucking with Santa Claus.
527
00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:01,511
Arturo.
528
00:29:03,120 --> 00:29:04,096
Here you are, gentlemen.
529
00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:07,750
You, my friend, are a gentleman
and a scholar,
530
00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:10,910
and you are indeed here on business.
531
00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:13,096
Whatever that is.
532
00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:14,696
My business is my business,
533
00:29:14,720 --> 00:29:17,474
but your business seems to be
sitting in a catbird seat
534
00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:20,230
of one-night stands
and Thursday night specials
535
00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:21,680
and Tuesday nooners.
536
00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:25,719
Which holds
no special satisfaction for me.
537
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:28,416
What? No Tuesday nooners?
538
00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:30,909
I'm not interested in your girlfriends.
539
00:29:31,280 --> 00:29:36,958
But I could endure
the courtship of a soulmate.
540
00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:42,276
Appreciate it, thank you.
541
00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:44,154
Good. Good boy.
542
00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:47,951
In fact, the perfect soulmate for me
might very well be Miss Suzie Quince
543
00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:49,436
sitting right there.
544
00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:51,376
You... you know her name?
545
00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:52,416
I move like the wind.
546
00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:54,616
You mean you met her already?
At a taco truck.
547
00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:55,816
You liar.
548
00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:57,513
Her dog's name is Romeo.
549
00:29:59,080 --> 00:29:59,991
Romeo?
550
00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:06,416
Well, I think Romeo is precisely
what she's looking for tonight.
551
00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:08,955
Santa from the southern hemisphere.
552
00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:14,110
If she falls for a drunk Santa Claus,
I've badly misjudged her character.
553
00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:16,636
Watch this.
554
00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:19,595
And I'm not drunk.
555
00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:25,677
Hi.
556
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:27,831
Hi.
557
00:30:28,480 --> 00:30:32,235
My name is St. Nicholas.
You can call me Nick.
558
00:30:32,960 --> 00:30:33,871
Susan.
559
00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:38,936
I was just... I was just doing
some Christmas tree lighting and stuff
560
00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:41,031
with some people who needed some joy.
561
00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:44,195
Well, I guess a half-wit Santa
who does kind deeds
562
00:30:44,320 --> 00:30:45,834
for lonely people can't do much harm.
563
00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:47,993
Then I'll take that
as an invitation.
564
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:52,390
Here we are. Christmas season.
565
00:30:53,480 --> 00:30:54,436
Nobody's home.
566
00:30:55,200 --> 00:30:57,237
Family long gone. Kids far away.
567
00:30:57,640 --> 00:31:00,678
Is there a husband lurking around?
568
00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:02,600
Hm?
No.
569
00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:05,718
First one flew the coop.
Ah!
570
00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:07,559
Got married again and I flew the coop.
571
00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:09,520
Lots of coops.
572
00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:12,117
So, you'll never try it again?
Mm-mm.
573
00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:15,352
I decided my final marriage
would be to my job.
574
00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:17,716
That's kind of sad.
575
00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:20,311
It's focused. It's not sad.
576
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:24,798
You look... sad.
577
00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:29,576
Well, I've been sent here on business
578
00:31:29,600 --> 00:31:31,319
to fire someone before the year is out
579
00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:33,673
during the Christmas season, so...
580
00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:38,736
Well, if a guy is not up to the task,
the quicker you do it, the better, right?
581
00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:40,776
Mm... Yeah.
582
00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:42,359
Season's greetings. Clean out your desk.
583
00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:44,476
That's not so easy.
584
00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:48,519
But at least the music cheers me up.
585
00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:52,336
I love Johnny Mathis.
I have all 42 of his albums.
586
00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:53,874
Really?
All 42.
587
00:31:54,640 --> 00:31:56,074
Johnny is a good friend of mine.
588
00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:58,336
Come on!
No, really.
589
00:31:58,360 --> 00:31:59,680
You know Johnny Mathis?
590
00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:01,316
We're practically brothers.
591
00:32:01,760 --> 00:32:07,119
You know, your hair shines like the shun.
592
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:08,311
The "shun"?
593
00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:11,154
You know, big-ass ball
that rises in the East,
594
00:32:11,800 --> 00:32:15,216
sets in the San Bernardino mountains.
Oh, yeah. Okay.
595
00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:16,456
You know something?
Huh?
596
00:32:16,480 --> 00:32:17,755
Santa Claus...
Hey.
597
00:32:18,440 --> 00:32:20,256
I think we need to go. Let this young lady
598
00:32:20,280 --> 00:32:21,696
have some time to herself.
Thank you.
599
00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:22,756
This is Leo.
600
00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:25,296
Leo is my buddy.
Hello, Leo.
601
00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:26,736
Gentleman and a scholar.
602
00:32:26,760 --> 00:32:28,240
I gotta get you outta here, man.
You're drunk.
603
00:32:28,560 --> 00:32:30,496
I'm not drunk, Leo.
I know.
604
00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:31,636
Just overserved.
Come on.
605
00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:33,717
Okay, come on.
I'll see you later.
606
00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:35,912
I appreciate the intervention,
thank you.
607
00:32:39,480 --> 00:32:40,800
Yeah, good boy.
608
00:32:44,360 --> 00:32:50,096
You know, I ever tell you
what a gentleman and a scholar you are?
609
00:32:50,120 --> 00:32:51,696
Yeah, you did. You did.
610
00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:53,336
Get your ass in the truck.
611
00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:54,919
Watch my knees.
612
00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:56,754
They're old knees.
613
00:32:57,120 --> 00:32:58,349
Thank you, partner.
614
00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:02,790
Thank you.
615
00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:05,076
My friend.
616
00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:16,896
Leo... You are a very mysterious man.
617
00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:18,639
I just play my cards close, that's all.
618
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:23,153
No, I mean...
I mean, I mean you're easy to talk to.
619
00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:24,831
Hm?
620
00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:30,589
And I got a big secret. Ginormous secret.
621
00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:33,296
You wanna hear it?
No, not really, no.
622
00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:34,674
Seriously, Leo.
623
00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:36,839
Seriously?
Yeah.
624
00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:38,616
You're not a serious man.
625
00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:40,176
A serious man would
not have behaved himself
626
00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:42,078
in front of Miss Suzie Quince
the way you did.
627
00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:43,391
What?
628
00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:49,916
You're just jealous
because she was so receptive. You...
629
00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:52,237
You are not as charming
as you think you are.
630
00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:54,071
Hey...
631
00:33:54,720 --> 00:33:56,598
agree to disagree, babe.
632
00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:03,431
I need a cup of coffee.
You need a new liver.
633
00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:06,336
You should have seen
what she was doin' with her eyes.
634
00:34:06,360 --> 00:34:08,272
I did. She was looking for an exit.
635
00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:12,357
♪ Silent night ♪
636
00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:15,838
♪ Holy night ♪
637
00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:19,911
♪ All is calm ♪
638
00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:23,393
♪ All is bright ♪
639
00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:26,520
♪ 'Round yon virgin... ♪
640
00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:29,616
Duke, you still rule
this one side of town.
641
00:34:29,640 --> 00:34:31,359
- Yeah.
- Kick corporate's ass.
642
00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:35,536
Leo's, uh, a pretty good guy.
643
00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:36,576
To the status quo.
644
00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:39,016
The way we've always done things.
645
00:34:39,040 --> 00:34:40,256
Status quo.
Duke.
646
00:34:40,280 --> 00:34:41,430
What?
Boss is here.
647
00:34:41,840 --> 00:34:43,416
The hell are you talkin' about?
I'm the boss.
648
00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:45,776
I mean, the regional director.
649
00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:48,696
Oh, yeah. Send his sorry-ass in.
650
00:34:56,920 --> 00:34:58,115
Hello,
651
00:34:58,240 --> 00:35:00,357
I'm Suzie Quince, regional director.
652
00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:05,791
I... thought...
I thought you said you were...
653
00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:11,136
sent down here to evaluate
somebody's job performance,
654
00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:14,790
maybe fire them before the year was out?
655
00:35:15,240 --> 00:35:17,197
When you're not Santa Claus,
are you Duke Diver?
656
00:35:17,880 --> 00:35:20,475
Probably.
Well, when a man's not up to the task,
657
00:35:20,800 --> 00:35:22,519
it's best to get it over with quick.
658
00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:27,776
Guys, guys, why don't you go out
and practice
659
00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:30,156
your shuffleboard stroke or something?
660
00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:38,496
There are many, many irregularities.
661
00:35:38,520 --> 00:35:41,496
You're damn right,
and I got one I wanna report right now.
662
00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:42,416
Please do.
663
00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:47,656
They sent us a very, very bad Santa Claus.
I wanna know who hired him.
664
00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:48,591
I did.
665
00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:50,176
I made a deal
666
00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:52,920
with a national party rental firm
to service all our outlets.
667
00:35:53,760 --> 00:35:55,479
- Our outlets?
- Yes.
668
00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:57,509
Lady, this is our home.
669
00:35:58,240 --> 00:36:00,496
We have a way of doing things
here... that work.
670
00:36:00,520 --> 00:36:02,376
This isn't your company, Mr. Diver.
671
00:36:02,400 --> 00:36:05,040
Protocols are not being followed.
Protocols?
672
00:36:05,640 --> 00:36:06,896
Everybody's happy here.
673
00:36:06,920 --> 00:36:10,118
Aren't you happy?
And happiness is not a condition, lady.
674
00:36:10,600 --> 00:36:12,616
It's a choice.
No! Okay. Well, you know what?
675
00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:14,936
I don't need your pop psychology,
Dr. Phil.
676
00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:17,236
And don't knock Dr. Phil.
He's a personal friend of mine.
677
00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:20,696
Oh, Johnny Mathis and Dr. Phil.
678
00:36:22,840 --> 00:36:24,433
You're an unhappy woman.
679
00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:26,816
And you're wrong about me.
680
00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:28,957
Well, happiness can be found
in a lot of places
681
00:36:29,080 --> 00:36:31,640
including a fine bar late at night.
682
00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:32,991
Alone?
683
00:36:33,720 --> 00:36:34,949
Jimmy?
Hm?
684
00:36:35,920 --> 00:36:39,896
Have the bookkeeper gather
all records, receipts, contracts,
685
00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:41,718
and have them on my desk in the morning
686
00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:46,113
along with every piece of paper
that Duke Diver ever signed.
687
00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:49,416
Uh, you want every single one?
688
00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:51,272
Every single one.
689
00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:54,136
I suppose you want a tour.
690
00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:55,719
Of the entire operation.
691
00:36:56,800 --> 00:36:57,711
Romeo.
692
00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:01,070
Oh shit!
693
00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:07,994
I think you're going to be
very impressed
694
00:37:08,120 --> 00:37:09,474
with what we have going on here.
695
00:37:12,680 --> 00:37:14,319
Oh, tango.
696
00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:15,696
Duke's idea.
697
00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:19,576
Oh, tai chi.
698
00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:21,080
Also Duke's idea.
699
00:37:23,320 --> 00:37:26,518
Now, I think you're going to be
especially impressed with this.
700
00:37:26,640 --> 00:37:29,096
This is very important...
This is our regular Thursday class.
701
00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:31,336
Real sex, loving sex,
702
00:37:31,360 --> 00:37:34,816
affectionate, tender, nasty, dirty sex
703
00:37:34,840 --> 00:37:38,096
still must be part of your daily
existence.
704
00:37:38,120 --> 00:37:40,896
The older we get, the better it gets.
705
00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:44,431
Duke's idea.
706
00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:45,936
Catching on.
707
00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:48,736
In defense of Mr. Diver,
this place is always packed.
708
00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:51,376
Last week we had this expert on group sex,
and he said that the...
709
00:37:51,400 --> 00:37:54,518
Oh... there's experts on that?
710
00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:56,837
Yes.
711
00:37:57,680 --> 00:37:59,114
And he was very,
712
00:38:00,240 --> 00:38:01,356
very good.
713
00:38:03,080 --> 00:38:03,991
Okay.
714
00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:06,391
I know that you feel
like you might have seen enough, but
715
00:38:06,720 --> 00:38:08,896
I promise you this place
is absolutely wonderful.
716
00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:10,513
The rocks. You can see
the rock formations.
717
00:38:10,640 --> 00:38:12,176
I don't know if you've studied geology,
718
00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:15,398
but I just, I really hope you can
come to love it here the way we all do.
719
00:38:16,520 --> 00:38:18,256
I mean, Duke is doing a great job.
720
00:38:18,280 --> 00:38:19,396
If you could just...
721
00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:22,559
It really is beautiful out here.
722
00:38:24,320 --> 00:38:25,231
Leo.
723
00:38:27,240 --> 00:38:29,736
Oh shit! Oh, this is bad.
724
00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:31,194
This is gonna be bad!
725
00:38:32,240 --> 00:38:33,594
There was some blue in there.
726
00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:38,436
That's stunning.
727
00:38:38,720 --> 00:38:39,631
Yes, you are.
728
00:38:42,720 --> 00:38:46,816
So, uh, you rescue damsels in distress,
you're a poet, and you paint.
729
00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:48,559
I'm exploring my feminine side.
730
00:38:50,960 --> 00:38:54,736
So, uh, are you friends with Duke Diver?
Seems like an odd combination.
731
00:38:54,760 --> 00:38:55,989
Friend is a very strong word.
732
00:38:58,520 --> 00:38:59,317
It's primal.
733
00:38:59,440 --> 00:39:00,920
Yeah. It is.
734
00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:04,195
Son of a bitch, what is he up to?
735
00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:12,976
I thought you said
you had to uncover enough irregularities
736
00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:14,275
so you could fire me.
737
00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:16,576
Well, I'm still reviewing the books.
738
00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:18,136
Your friend's a painter.
739
00:39:18,160 --> 00:39:19,056
Who knew?
740
00:39:19,080 --> 00:39:20,616
It's the San Jacinto mountains.
741
00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:22,791
It's the what?
It's the San Jacinto mountains.
742
00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:26,112
If this is the San Jacinto mountains,
743
00:39:26,440 --> 00:39:27,976
Bob Hope's house is right here.
744
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:29,776
I'm not puttin'
Bob Hope's house in my picture.
745
00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:31,536
Thought it would make it better,
if you'd ask me.
746
00:39:31,560 --> 00:39:33,856
No. Do you see the influence of Cézanne...
747
00:39:33,880 --> 00:39:36,296
I owe everything to Cézanne.
748
00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:39,836
Oh, I see a little more expressionism
than impressionism.
749
00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:42,616
A little bit more Kirchner than Cézanne.
750
00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:47,016
Maybe just a tiny touch
of Friedensreich Hundertwasser.
751
00:39:47,040 --> 00:39:48,759
I remind you of Friedrich Hundertwasser?
752
00:39:49,480 --> 00:39:51,736
Hm. I may have to reassess my own work.
753
00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:53,956
I'll assess it... this is shit!
754
00:39:55,080 --> 00:39:58,136
Romeo? Romeo!
755
00:39:58,160 --> 00:40:00,136
Oh, no, no!
756
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:03,111
Oh, God!
757
00:40:09,240 --> 00:40:10,196
Romeo!
758
00:40:11,160 --> 00:40:12,116
Thank you.
759
00:40:13,240 --> 00:40:16,896
Oh, Leo, thank you.
760
00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:19,136
Oh, Romeo. Thank you so much.
761
00:40:19,160 --> 00:40:21,136
Hop in the truck
and I will take you to the vet.
762
00:40:21,160 --> 00:40:22,071
Oh, Leo!
763
00:40:22,920 --> 00:40:23,990
Mr. Hero.
764
00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:36,750
There. Bob Hope's house.
765
00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:40,515
Looks better. It's not that damn hard.
766
00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:44,670
I have sad news
to report to the Villa Capri family today.
767
00:40:45,160 --> 00:40:49,216
Mike Shank in villa 68
had a massive coronary
768
00:40:49,240 --> 00:40:51,800
late last night while I was visiting.
769
00:40:52,760 --> 00:40:54,956
My presence was a total coincidence.
770
00:40:55,160 --> 00:40:57,914
Great, fellas. This is great.
This is your finest work.
771
00:40:58,280 --> 00:40:59,416
Hey, where you been, boss?
772
00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:02,797
Miss Quince.
She wants my neck and Leo's bed.
773
00:41:03,640 --> 00:41:04,816
Well, what you gonna do?
774
00:41:04,840 --> 00:41:05,751
This is war!
775
00:41:06,680 --> 00:41:10,469
Everything I've worked for at Villa Capri,
everything I've built is at stake.
776
00:41:10,840 --> 00:41:12,536
And if the corporation takes over,
777
00:41:12,560 --> 00:41:14,995
our very way of life disappears,
gentlemen.
778
00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:16,879
Miss Quince is evil.
779
00:41:17,240 --> 00:41:20,233
She is evil, but she's hot.
What you gonna do, boss?
780
00:41:21,240 --> 00:41:25,075
I'm gonna use my legendary charm,
if I may be so humble...
781
00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:27,279
Mm-hm.
And seduce her.
782
00:41:28,200 --> 00:41:30,256
Give her a bit of the old je ne sais quoi.
783
00:41:30,280 --> 00:41:31,475
That's Spanish, right?
784
00:41:32,080 --> 00:41:35,056
I'm gonna take the corporate starch
outta that woman's knickers.
785
00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:36,136
She deserves it.
786
00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:38,936
And if there's anybody can do it,
it's you, Duke.
787
00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:41,696
But first, Leo McKay.
788
00:41:41,720 --> 00:41:42,631
Mm-hm.
789
00:41:43,120 --> 00:41:44,176
I gotta take him down.
790
00:41:44,200 --> 00:41:45,554
Oh!
Take him down?
791
00:42:04,720 --> 00:42:06,536
Tie his hind legs together
with a pickin' string
792
00:42:06,560 --> 00:42:08,791
so he doesn't scratch those stitches out.
793
00:42:09,240 --> 00:42:13,016
Uh, pickin' string?
Yarn. It's soft, a knitting yarn.
794
00:42:13,040 --> 00:42:16,590
Oh, well, thanks. Thank you so much.
I really appreciate it.
795
00:42:16,720 --> 00:42:19,176
I have to get back
and do the company survey.
796
00:42:19,200 --> 00:42:21,999
You take your work seriously
and I respect that.
797
00:42:23,080 --> 00:42:25,736
Yeah. Thank you again. I so appreciate it.
798
00:42:25,760 --> 00:42:26,671
Yes, Ma'am.
799
00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:39,791
Now what?
800
00:42:40,560 --> 00:42:41,630
Renaissance Man.
801
00:42:45,400 --> 00:42:46,311
What else do you do?
802
00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:48,976
I'm on a journey of self-discovery
and exploration...
803
00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:50,275
Oh, shut up!
804
00:42:56,320 --> 00:42:58,994
Villa Capri is not big enough
for both of us, Leo.
805
00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:00,976
If you wanna do somethin' about that,
806
00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:03,196
I'll beat you the best of five
of anything ever invented.
807
00:43:04,560 --> 00:43:06,279
Game room. One hour.
808
00:43:06,920 --> 00:43:08,616
I'm not getting fired because you...
Make the call.
809
00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:09,616
Forgot to make the call.
810
00:43:09,640 --> 00:43:10,976
No! I don't care if they call you...
811
00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:12,354
- Oh, good! We're all here.
- Hey!
812
00:43:12,680 --> 00:43:14,816
Time to sharpen the knives,
circle the wagons,
813
00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:16,976
pull up our bootstraps and buckle down.
Hey.
814
00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:18,536
It's all here, Miss Quince.
815
00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:20,074
Great. Okay.
816
00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:23,878
So, when exactly does Duke get petty cash?
817
00:43:26,880 --> 00:43:29,839
Wh... whenever he asks for it.
I... I just go and...
818
00:43:30,320 --> 00:43:31,913
Whenever he asks for it?
819
00:43:33,240 --> 00:43:36,936
You know what?
This company is not his personal ATM.
820
00:43:36,960 --> 00:43:39,136
Look, Duke is an honorable man.
821
00:43:39,160 --> 00:43:41,816
I'm sure you're not going
to find anything that... whoa!
822
00:43:41,840 --> 00:43:43,160
Hm, my God!
823
00:43:43,640 --> 00:43:46,678
Honorable. What do you call these?
824
00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:48,389
Size 14, lots of fun.
825
00:43:48,880 --> 00:43:49,950
You want to audit those, too?
826
00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:52,320
You know what? I just might.
827
00:43:53,760 --> 00:43:59,016
Miss Quince will never fall for your...
transparent... dishonor.
828
00:43:59,040 --> 00:44:02,556
My dishonor, I'll have you know,
is not transparent.
829
00:44:14,880 --> 00:44:17,190
I wonder if he could lift me like that.
Oh, my...
830
00:44:19,120 --> 00:44:20,759
In my trap.
I counter!
831
00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:29,896
This ain't in your wheelhouse, boss.
832
00:44:29,920 --> 00:44:31,896
Don't go there.
What do you mean, "Don't go there"?
833
00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:34,594
Your mama said don't go there last night!
834
00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:37,616
- Checkmate!
- Oh!
835
00:44:41,960 --> 00:44:43,235
Oh!
836
00:44:50,360 --> 00:44:51,919
I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it!
837
00:44:53,480 --> 00:44:54,816
- You've got it?
- You got it?
838
00:44:54,840 --> 00:44:56,593
- You got it! You...
- Got it!
839
00:44:57,600 --> 00:44:58,896
You don't got it.
Take it.
840
00:44:58,920 --> 00:45:01,276
Take it, take it, take it!
841
00:45:02,240 --> 00:45:03,976
The score is tied, Mr. Diver.
842
00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:05,992
Choose your game to finish this.
843
00:45:07,880 --> 00:45:08,776
Limbo!
844
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:10,296
Limbo!
Wow!
845
00:45:10,320 --> 00:45:11,390
Oh, we got him!
846
00:45:11,520 --> 00:45:13,000
I said stop that!
847
00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:14,856
You first.
848
00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:22,559
He can do it, he can do it!
849
00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:31,157
This is bullshit!
850
00:45:32,200 --> 00:45:35,272
I'll take that as a pass.
851
00:45:35,720 --> 00:45:37,176
Music!
852
00:46:19,880 --> 00:46:21,016
Disqualification!
853
00:46:21,040 --> 00:46:23,576
His knees touched the ground.
I'm starting a protest!
854
00:46:31,800 --> 00:46:34,190
Meet me in your office
tomorrow morning at 9 o'clock.
855
00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:35,896
Sharp.
856
00:46:41,920 --> 00:46:45,072
♪ You, me and a Christmas tree ♪
857
00:46:45,680 --> 00:46:48,275
♪ Is all I want this year ♪
858
00:46:49,080 --> 00:46:52,596
♪ Just me, you and a tree will do ♪
859
00:46:53,320 --> 00:46:55,835
♪ Oh, just to have you near ♪
860
00:46:56,640 --> 00:46:59,838
♪ Beneath the twinkling lights ♪
861
00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:03,154
♪ And shiny colored balls ♪
862
00:47:03,880 --> 00:47:06,839
♪ We'll make our holiday delight ♪
863
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:10,136
♪ While little pine needles fall ♪
864
00:47:12,960 --> 00:47:13,996
Well, he's late.
865
00:47:14,440 --> 00:47:16,416
That is very unusual.
866
00:47:16,440 --> 00:47:17,760
Duke is very punctual.
867
00:47:18,800 --> 00:47:21,554
Jimmy, Ginger, why don't you guys
take the morning off?
868
00:47:22,480 --> 00:47:24,696
Why don't you not
and just sit right there.
869
00:47:24,720 --> 00:47:27,296
This is business.
Oh, come on. A little bit of the bubbly.
870
00:47:27,320 --> 00:47:29,118
Oh, no, that's not appropriate.
871
00:47:30,680 --> 00:47:32,751
Maison de Chocolat...
872
00:47:34,080 --> 00:47:35,594
Come on. Try it.
873
00:47:36,760 --> 00:47:39,355
This... this is about receipts and
874
00:47:40,040 --> 00:47:40,837
and contracts.
875
00:47:40,960 --> 00:47:42,792
Oh, it's nutty and dark.
876
00:47:42,920 --> 00:47:45,992
Maybe I'll take...
I'll take a couple for later.
877
00:47:46,520 --> 00:47:47,416
Thank you.
878
00:47:47,440 --> 00:47:49,416
Thank you. Thank you very much.
Good, good, good.
879
00:47:49,440 --> 00:47:52,638
Now, it, it, it all adds up.
Oh, no. It doesn't.
880
00:47:53,240 --> 00:47:55,118
Two thousand dollars for camel rental.
881
00:47:57,200 --> 00:47:59,760
How do you think the Three Wise Men
got to Bethlehem?
882
00:48:00,400 --> 00:48:03,056
What does Palm Springs
have to do with Bethlehem?
883
00:48:03,080 --> 00:48:04,992
Bethlehem was just like this.
884
00:48:05,760 --> 00:48:09,776
Palm trees, warm breezes,
people walkin' around in shirtsleeves.
885
00:48:09,800 --> 00:48:14,256
Not this snow-covered bullshit
dreamed up by Hallmark Cards.
886
00:48:14,280 --> 00:48:15,396
I like the snow.
887
00:48:15,920 --> 00:48:19,256
Would you deprive the residents
of Villa Capri of their dromedaries?
888
00:48:19,280 --> 00:48:21,136
Are you a dromedary depriver?
889
00:48:21,160 --> 00:48:22,480
Okay, forget the camels.
890
00:48:24,200 --> 00:48:27,496
The Gentlemen's Club.
Dancers. Right there. Dancers.
891
00:48:27,520 --> 00:48:29,496
Yeah. Well, they were strippers.
892
00:48:29,520 --> 00:48:31,336
Oh, I knew it!
893
00:48:31,360 --> 00:48:32,936
No, no! No, no, no! They were sweet.
894
00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:37,079
They were... they were sweet.
They made the men feel young and virile.
895
00:48:37,320 --> 00:48:39,336
Even taught the ladies
a couple of tricks, and...
896
00:48:39,360 --> 00:48:40,999
and I can vouch for that.
Ew.
897
00:48:42,240 --> 00:48:43,536
Golf clubs.
898
00:48:43,560 --> 00:48:45,313
Personal. Fourteen hundred dollars.
899
00:48:45,440 --> 00:48:47,909
Probably brought in
about a million dollars' worth of business
900
00:48:48,520 --> 00:48:51,513
hosting potential buyers
on the golf course.
901
00:48:51,800 --> 00:48:52,696
Duke...
Hm?
902
00:48:52,720 --> 00:48:54,473
It's the corporation's petty cash.
903
00:48:55,520 --> 00:48:57,398
You are apparently unfamiliar
904
00:48:57,520 --> 00:49:01,992
with US Tax Codes special addendum 44B...
parts three and seven
905
00:49:02,560 --> 00:49:06,440
which define explicitly those,
and I quote,
906
00:49:06,800 --> 00:49:10,350
"reasonable expenses pertaining
to a business's ongoing operation."
907
00:49:10,760 --> 00:49:13,275
Subparagraph 12, "whereas in the..."
Stop it!
908
00:49:16,840 --> 00:49:17,751
Okay.
909
00:49:18,240 --> 00:49:20,550
Just... want to know,
910
00:49:21,440 --> 00:49:24,056
are you keeping your heart open for me
like I am for you?
911
00:49:24,080 --> 00:49:26,640
Um, Duke? I don't even know who you are.
912
00:49:27,120 --> 00:49:30,033
Actually, I can't even find
you in the national corporate database.
913
00:49:33,320 --> 00:49:36,296
Oh, well, basically,
if I don't exist, what?
914
00:49:36,320 --> 00:49:39,358
Does that mean we're finished?
No, we haven't even started.
915
00:49:40,720 --> 00:49:44,216
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Anyway, I... I gotta go and get ready
916
00:49:44,240 --> 00:49:45,776
for the big Christmas Eve party.
Wh... wh...
917
00:49:45,800 --> 00:49:49,999
And have I got a surprise for you!
918
00:49:52,520 --> 00:49:53,636
I don't want a surprise.
919
00:49:54,960 --> 00:49:57,555
I'm sure it's very nice.
You shut up!
920
00:50:01,280 --> 00:50:02,936
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
921
00:50:02,960 --> 00:50:05,096
we invite you to please
put your hands together
922
00:50:05,120 --> 00:50:10,016
and give it up
for our beloved leader, Duke Diver.
923
00:50:10,040 --> 00:50:11,360
Hello, everybody.
924
00:50:17,840 --> 00:50:19,160
Merry Christmas!
925
00:50:20,680 --> 00:50:23,736
Mer-ry Christmas!
926
00:50:23,760 --> 00:50:25,216
And I'm saying it like that
927
00:50:25,240 --> 00:50:27,416
because this is really
a special Christmas today,
928
00:50:27,440 --> 00:50:32,376
and I think this is going to be one
you will remember far into your future
929
00:50:32,400 --> 00:50:33,720
which I hope is very long.
930
00:50:35,080 --> 00:50:40,712
But this Christmas is uh, very special
to me because I want to dedicate it.
931
00:50:41,200 --> 00:50:43,056
I want to dedicate it
to a very special lady.
932
00:50:43,080 --> 00:50:45,959
Her name is Miss Suzie Quince,
wherever she is.
933
00:50:46,600 --> 00:50:48,336
There she is!
934
00:50:48,360 --> 00:50:51,216
Miss Quince,
would you mind stepping forward
935
00:50:51,240 --> 00:50:52,435
so we know who you are?
936
00:50:53,440 --> 00:50:55,477
Please, just a couple of steps forward.
937
00:50:56,600 --> 00:50:58,353
Here she is, ladies and gentlemen.
938
00:50:58,840 --> 00:50:59,816
Hi.
939
00:50:59,840 --> 00:51:03,993
On this special day
in this special season, Susan,
940
00:51:04,680 --> 00:51:06,592
I'm dedicating this one to you.
941
00:51:07,600 --> 00:51:08,954
Ladies and gentlemen,
942
00:51:10,040 --> 00:51:11,315
Johnny Mathis!
943
00:51:16,040 --> 00:51:17,856
Holy shit! Did you see that?
Atta boy, Dukie!
944
00:51:17,880 --> 00:51:19,096
You did it again!
945
00:51:19,120 --> 00:51:21,794
It's good to see you, my friend.
Welcome, welcome.
946
00:51:22,160 --> 00:51:23,640
I'll be on the piano for you.
947
00:51:23,960 --> 00:51:24,871
This is gonna go well.
948
00:51:25,200 --> 00:51:28,318
Okay. Thank you. Hi, guys. All right.
949
00:51:35,680 --> 00:51:39,640
♪ Sleigh bells ring are ya listenin' ♪
950
00:51:40,080 --> 00:51:43,596
♪ In the lane snow is glistenin' ♪
951
00:51:44,280 --> 00:51:47,637
♪ A beautiful sight we're happy tonight ♪
952
00:51:48,240 --> 00:51:51,176
♪ Walkin' in a winter wonderland... ♪
953
00:51:51,200 --> 00:51:52,759
I'm walkin', baby.
954
00:51:53,240 --> 00:51:59,096
Does Roberta have a little Beyoncé
thing goin' on tonight or am I hammered?
955
00:51:59,120 --> 00:52:01,736
Well, she does, but you are hammered.
956
00:52:01,760 --> 00:52:02,696
Put a ring on it.
957
00:52:02,720 --> 00:52:03,631
Boys...
958
00:52:04,320 --> 00:52:06,880
boys, it's time to make our move.
959
00:52:07,280 --> 00:52:11,536
Ms. Marguerite. You and me?
960
00:52:11,560 --> 00:52:14,280
♪ Then pretend that he is ♪
♪ Parson Brown ♪
961
00:52:15,720 --> 00:52:16,915
Come on.
962
00:52:19,080 --> 00:52:20,776
♪ But you can do the job ♪
♪ When you're in town ♪
963
00:52:20,800 --> 00:52:21,995
I see you.
964
00:52:22,640 --> 00:52:29,353
♪ Later on we'll conspire ♪
♪ As we dream by the fire ♪
965
00:52:30,720 --> 00:52:34,077
♪ To face unafraid ♪
♪ The plans that we made ♪
966
00:52:34,600 --> 00:52:37,638
♪ Walkin' in a winter wonderland ♪
967
00:52:40,880 --> 00:52:44,874
♪ Over the ground lies a mantle of white ♪
968
00:52:45,560 --> 00:52:50,316
♪ A heaven of diamonds ♪
♪ Shine down through the night ♪
969
00:52:51,520 --> 00:52:53,496
Miss Quince, may I have
the pleasure of this dance?
970
00:52:53,520 --> 00:52:54,976
Yes, absolutely.
971
00:52:56,040 --> 00:52:59,096
♪ When it snows ♪
972
00:52:59,120 --> 00:53:00,156
Oh, you're good!
973
00:53:00,520 --> 00:53:01,816
Oh, I'm not that good,
974
00:53:01,840 --> 00:53:04,456
- I just try real hard.
- Yes you are, you're really good.
975
00:53:04,480 --> 00:53:07,816
I've gotta tell ya,
you're light on your feet.
976
00:53:07,840 --> 00:53:11,880
♪ We'll frolic and play ♪
♪ The Eskimo way ♪
977
00:53:12,840 --> 00:53:15,176
Excuse me, excuse me.
Excuse me, excuse me.
978
00:53:15,200 --> 00:53:17,016
My turn.
Have some respect for the lady.
979
00:53:17,040 --> 00:53:19,919
Gentlemen, gentlemen.
There's only one gentleman here.
980
00:53:20,160 --> 00:53:21,576
Stop the music!
981
00:53:22,720 --> 00:53:24,439
You makin' a fool of yourself, Duke.
982
00:53:25,680 --> 00:53:27,056
I'm callin' your hand.
983
00:53:27,080 --> 00:53:31,711
We're gonna play
18 holes of golf, right?
984
00:53:32,280 --> 00:53:33,794
Winner...
985
00:53:36,240 --> 00:53:38,496
Christmas morning.
Bring your A-game.
986
00:53:38,520 --> 00:53:42,070
A-game?
I'm gonna kick your ass with one hand!
987
00:53:44,320 --> 00:53:45,117
Oh, no.
988
00:53:51,440 --> 00:53:53,296
♪ Dashing through the snow ♪
989
00:53:53,320 --> 00:53:55,516
♪ In a one-horse open sleigh ♪
990
00:53:56,080 --> 00:53:58,176
♪ O'er the fields we go ♪
991
00:53:58,200 --> 00:54:01,056
♪ Laughing all the way ha-ha-ha ♪
992
00:54:01,080 --> 00:54:03,117
♪ Bells on bobtails ring ♪
993
00:54:06,360 --> 00:54:09,114
It's madness. It's all madness.
994
00:54:15,840 --> 00:54:17,776
Leo can play for real.
995
00:54:17,800 --> 00:54:19,136
It doesn't matter. We got your back, boss.
996
00:54:19,160 --> 00:54:21,936
Yeah, even if you're outta bounds,
I got the foot mashie going.
997
00:54:21,960 --> 00:54:25,336
And I got a hole in my pocket
and a half dozen extra balls.
998
00:54:26,440 --> 00:54:28,896
And I got a short game.
999
00:54:28,920 --> 00:54:30,376
We got you rigged to win!
1000
00:54:30,400 --> 00:54:31,856
Ah, we got you covered.
1001
00:54:31,880 --> 00:54:33,136
I wouldn't even worry about it.
1002
00:54:33,160 --> 00:54:34,913
Cowboy and the playboy.
1003
00:54:35,040 --> 00:54:36,838
I got my money on the playboy.
All right, all right.
1004
00:54:37,240 --> 00:54:38,176
Ladies and gentlemen,
1005
00:54:38,200 --> 00:54:41,750
this morning's contest
will be 18 holes of match play golf
1006
00:54:42,280 --> 00:54:46,496
between Mr. Diver and Mr. McKay,
according to official USGA rules.
1007
00:54:46,520 --> 00:54:48,936
Now, I just wanna say before we begin
1008
00:54:48,960 --> 00:54:51,520
that even though
there can only be one winner...
1009
00:54:51,640 --> 00:54:53,597
Oh, shut up!
I think I have the honors here.
1010
00:54:53,800 --> 00:54:54,696
- Yep.
- Oh,
1011
00:54:54,720 --> 00:54:55,631
we're starting to kick it now!
1012
00:55:01,760 --> 00:55:03,176
Oh!
1013
00:55:03,200 --> 00:55:04,395
Son of a bitch!
1014
00:55:04,600 --> 00:55:06,398
Holy!
1015
00:55:07,600 --> 00:55:09,456
All right, baby!
1016
00:55:09,480 --> 00:55:11,153
All right, Duke. Have at it.
1017
00:55:11,880 --> 00:55:13,976
Show us what you got.
Come on, let it rip.
1018
00:55:14,000 --> 00:55:14,911
Quiet, please!
1019
00:55:15,240 --> 00:55:17,675
You don't gotta tell me
to shut up. Let it rip, boss. Let it rip.
1020
00:55:18,640 --> 00:55:22,077
Leo, pay attention. One hand.
1021
00:55:23,600 --> 00:55:25,016
One hand.
Waggling.
1022
00:55:25,040 --> 00:55:25,951
Yes.
1023
00:55:26,600 --> 00:55:28,319
Yes! Yes!
1024
00:55:29,200 --> 00:55:30,873
Let's go! Let's go!
1025
00:55:31,200 --> 00:55:33,896
Ow! That's how you do it!
1026
00:55:33,920 --> 00:55:35,718
Right down the fairway!
1027
00:55:40,440 --> 00:55:41,840
Yes!
Uh-huh.
1028
00:55:55,920 --> 00:55:58,116
- Yeah! Yeah!
- Feelin' it!
1029
00:56:03,400 --> 00:56:05,696
No, no problem.
I got this, I got this.
1030
00:56:12,680 --> 00:56:13,875
Yes, Duke!
1031
00:56:20,800 --> 00:56:21,711
Settle.
1032
00:56:26,000 --> 00:56:29,755
- Damn, smoother...
- Oh, good break!
1033
00:56:44,400 --> 00:56:45,656
That ball is out of bounds.
1034
00:56:45,680 --> 00:56:47,239
Huh?
Out of bounds.
1035
00:56:49,320 --> 00:56:51,056
Lucky bounce. Must have hit a tree.
1036
00:56:54,280 --> 00:56:55,236
Oh!
1037
00:56:55,720 --> 00:56:56,936
Yeah, great shot,
great shot, chief!
1038
00:56:56,960 --> 00:56:58,076
All right, Duke, have at it!
1039
00:56:58,440 --> 00:57:00,272
- Oh, boy.
- You're lookin' real good.
1040
00:57:00,720 --> 00:57:03,816
Oh, cowboy, what you gonna do now, cowboy?
1041
00:57:03,840 --> 00:57:06,639
All right. This is bullshit.
1042
00:57:07,160 --> 00:57:09,356
What you talkin' about?
It's bullshit.
1043
00:57:10,200 --> 00:57:13,896
Are you accusing me of conduct
unbecoming a man of my reputation?
1044
00:57:13,920 --> 00:57:17,816
I am accusing you of conduct
consistent with a man of your reputation.
1045
00:57:17,840 --> 00:57:19,194
You been cheatin' all day long.
1046
00:57:21,040 --> 00:57:23,056
And if I'm keepin' the score correctly,
1047
00:57:23,080 --> 00:57:25,754
you will have to hole that ball
on that green to beat me.
1048
00:57:26,520 --> 00:57:27,431
Okay.
1049
00:57:27,960 --> 00:57:28,757
Okay.
1050
00:57:28,880 --> 00:57:29,996
You got this shot.
1051
00:57:30,920 --> 00:57:31,831
Watch this.
1052
00:57:34,120 --> 00:57:35,376
Tell you what, why don't we, uh,
1053
00:57:35,400 --> 00:57:37,357
run up here right quick
and read the green.
1054
00:57:38,400 --> 00:57:39,959
Great thinking.
Not so fast.
1055
00:57:40,720 --> 00:57:42,120
I don't trust you and I never will.
1056
00:57:42,440 --> 00:57:43,816
Ah, we plum-bobbing that!
1057
00:57:43,840 --> 00:57:45,593
I'm keepin' my eye on you, man,
just like a hawk.
1058
00:57:46,640 --> 00:57:47,551
God damn!
1059
00:57:48,120 --> 00:57:49,031
Oh shit! Oh shit!
1060
00:57:51,360 --> 00:57:52,376
- Everybody all right?
- Shit!
1061
00:57:52,400 --> 00:57:53,896
They found me! They found me!
1062
00:57:53,920 --> 00:57:55,376
- Everyone's okay.
- Are you okay?
1063
00:57:55,400 --> 00:57:57,576
Stay calm. Stay calm.
1064
00:57:57,600 --> 00:57:59,114
We'll have the EMS here in a minute.
1065
00:57:59,520 --> 00:58:00,431
Holy shit!
1066
00:58:00,920 --> 00:58:02,296
Probably just a gasoline leak.
1067
00:58:02,320 --> 00:58:03,776
It's an electric cart!
1068
00:58:03,800 --> 00:58:05,736
Where's my hat? Where's my hat?
1069
00:58:05,760 --> 00:58:06,696
Where you goin'?
1070
00:58:38,920 --> 00:58:39,990
You want a taste?
1071
00:58:40,440 --> 00:58:42,656
It's Leo, and I don't want a taste.
Open up.
1072
00:58:42,680 --> 00:58:43,591
Leo?
1073
00:58:50,320 --> 00:58:53,096
You forfeit. I win the golf match.
1074
00:58:53,120 --> 00:58:54,839
You can have the damn golf match.
1075
00:58:55,240 --> 00:58:56,416
Somebody wants me dead!
1076
00:58:56,440 --> 00:58:57,760
Who wants you dead? Who are you?
1077
00:58:58,160 --> 00:58:59,071
It... it's, a...
1078
00:58:59,840 --> 00:59:01,797
So, I'm the trophy for a golf match.
1079
00:59:02,880 --> 00:59:05,136
I mean, it's not the first time
men have fought over me.
1080
00:59:05,160 --> 00:59:06,976
Which one of you children is winning?
1081
00:59:07,000 --> 00:59:09,754
No, no, no.
We... we... we're not fighting over you.
1082
00:59:10,040 --> 00:59:11,576
That would be sexist and outrageous.
1083
00:59:11,600 --> 00:59:14,176
No, we're fighting
over the right to court you.
1084
00:59:14,200 --> 00:59:15,096
There's a difference?
1085
00:59:15,120 --> 00:59:17,336
These are fine distinctions that men make.
1086
00:59:17,360 --> 00:59:19,716
Yeah, yeah, we... you misunderstood.
1087
00:59:20,240 --> 00:59:22,736
We honor, praise and glorify you.
1088
00:59:22,760 --> 00:59:24,576
No criminal intent on Duke's part,
1089
00:59:24,600 --> 00:59:25,954
it's just Duke being Duke.
1090
00:59:26,320 --> 00:59:27,216
Thank you, Leo.
1091
00:59:27,240 --> 00:59:28,879
Do you men hear yourselves?
1092
00:59:29,000 --> 00:59:30,832
No.
Sh... should we?
1093
00:59:32,360 --> 00:59:34,636
Excuse me. I trust I've made my point.
1094
00:59:36,280 --> 00:59:39,273
Oh, by the way, did you hear a loud boom
a few minutes ago?
1095
00:59:39,600 --> 00:59:42,399
Uh-uh.
No, no.
1096
00:59:43,720 --> 00:59:44,631
You?
1097
00:59:45,160 --> 00:59:47,834
Corporate's up my ass
and you're both lying to me.
1098
00:59:49,320 --> 00:59:50,896
You better report this
to the county sheriff.
1099
00:59:50,920 --> 00:59:53,096
Oh, no, no. No, Leo, I beg you.
1100
00:59:53,120 --> 00:59:54,600
Don't take this to the law.
1101
00:59:55,960 --> 00:59:59,317
Leo. Leo! Leo, where you going?
1102
01:00:01,320 --> 01:00:03,176
Leo, it's not safe for me
around here anymore.
1103
01:00:03,200 --> 01:00:05,795
You've got to get me the hell outta here.
Why would I do that for you?
1104
01:00:06,400 --> 01:00:08,376
Because you don't want bloody chunks of me
1105
01:00:08,400 --> 01:00:10,376
raining all over Villa Capri!
1106
01:00:10,400 --> 01:00:12,376
All right, I'll get you outta here
but on one condition.
1107
01:00:12,400 --> 01:00:14,696
You tell me everything. No more bullshit.
1108
01:00:14,720 --> 01:00:16,896
Now, why would I bullshit you, Leo?
1109
01:00:16,920 --> 01:00:19,056
Okay. Bloody chunks it is.
1110
01:00:19,080 --> 01:00:22,357
Uh, okay, okay. Okay.
No... no more bullshit.
1111
01:00:23,680 --> 01:00:25,160
You blew up a golf cart?
1112
01:00:25,840 --> 01:00:26,830
And he wasn't in it?
1113
01:00:31,040 --> 01:00:33,856
No, it is not your fault.
1114
01:00:33,880 --> 01:00:36,839
Your... your... your father
never let you murder anyone.
1115
01:00:37,680 --> 01:00:42,675
No, he... he always said
that you did the best digging.
1116
01:00:43,040 --> 01:00:44,315
But sweetheart,
1117
01:00:44,920 --> 01:00:47,958
how many men did you bury
from snakebites and bombs?
1118
01:00:48,600 --> 01:00:49,750
Zero!
1119
01:00:50,120 --> 01:00:52,056
They all died from bullet holes!
1120
01:00:52,080 --> 01:00:56,216
So go get some bullets,
and do it like your father used to do it!
1121
01:01:01,960 --> 01:01:03,016
Who the hell are you?
1122
01:01:03,040 --> 01:01:05,236
My real name is William J. DuPrees.
1123
01:01:06,440 --> 01:01:09,717
I was known for many years as Sweet Willy.
1124
01:01:10,560 --> 01:01:13,816
I was chief counsel for the Bruno family.
1125
01:01:13,840 --> 01:01:14,751
Mob.
1126
01:01:15,080 --> 01:01:19,896
Until I learned that they weren't really
in the trucking business.
1127
01:01:19,920 --> 01:01:23,256
And then Feds came around
and offered me a choice.
1128
01:01:23,280 --> 01:01:25,476
And?
I rolled over like a trained show dog.
1129
01:01:25,960 --> 01:01:30,079
The problem was there was this crazy wife
and a crazier son, even,
1130
01:01:30,520 --> 01:01:32,591
who threatened to kill me at the trial.
1131
01:01:33,080 --> 01:01:36,232
And then when the brakes went out
on my car a week later,
1132
01:01:36,720 --> 01:01:38,616
around came the Feds again...
1133
01:01:38,640 --> 01:01:40,136
And you went into witness protection.
1134
01:01:40,160 --> 01:01:43,358
And turned it into an art form,
if I may say so myself.
1135
01:01:44,600 --> 01:01:45,590
Did you ever change your appearance?
1136
01:01:47,640 --> 01:01:48,596
And mess with this?
1137
01:01:49,480 --> 01:01:50,436
I don't think so.
1138
01:01:51,560 --> 01:01:52,437
The Feds will take care of you.
1139
01:01:52,760 --> 01:01:55,229
Yeah! They'll relocate me.
So what?
1140
01:01:55,880 --> 01:01:57,712
So, I don't want to be relocated!
1141
01:01:58,760 --> 01:02:00,513
I got it made at the Villa Capri.
1142
01:02:01,120 --> 01:02:03,416
Everything a man could want is there!
1143
01:02:03,440 --> 01:02:06,080
It is my vision that made it
what it is today.
1144
01:02:06,640 --> 01:02:12,079
Sex, booze, golf... and then you die.
1145
01:02:12,320 --> 01:02:14,256
Heaven's gonna be
a disappointment to you, man.
1146
01:02:14,280 --> 01:02:17,717
Come on, Leo.
Help me save what I've built.
1147
01:02:21,640 --> 01:02:23,154
- Shit!
- Nobody messes with my truck!
1148
01:02:24,320 --> 01:02:25,296
Shot my truck!
1149
01:02:25,320 --> 01:02:27,936
Oh, hell! He's tryin' to kill me
and you're worried about a truck?
1150
01:02:27,960 --> 01:02:28,871
Hang on.
1151
01:02:42,680 --> 01:02:43,591
Shit! Shit!
1152
01:02:54,280 --> 01:02:55,316
Shit!
1153
01:03:02,160 --> 01:03:04,336
Let's just regroup
and... and... and make a plan.
1154
01:03:04,360 --> 01:03:05,999
I'm gonna cut the sumbitch off.
1155
01:03:19,080 --> 01:03:22,152
This is a really bad idea, Leo.
Watch this.
1156
01:03:26,880 --> 01:03:29,839
Nice work, Leo.
Glad I didn't blink.
1157
01:03:31,640 --> 01:03:33,279
Damn it.
1158
01:03:37,800 --> 01:03:42,176
This is my brand-new, F-150, 4x4,
1159
01:03:42,200 --> 01:03:47,400
ruby red, extended cab,
custom bedliner truck!
1160
01:03:50,560 --> 01:03:53,816
I guess we're going to have to inform
Miss Quince of these developments.
1161
01:03:53,840 --> 01:03:56,400
Yeah. Her job's at stake.
1162
01:04:06,880 --> 01:04:08,553
You got a special feelin' for her,
don't you?
1163
01:04:09,000 --> 01:04:10,616
From the moment I first saw her,
1164
01:04:10,640 --> 01:04:12,536
there was something
about Miss Suzie Quince
1165
01:04:12,560 --> 01:04:15,176
that got the hair
on the back of my neck standing up.
1166
01:04:16,760 --> 01:04:17,716
Nothin' finer.
1167
01:04:18,320 --> 01:04:20,596
In the whole wide world than a good woman.
1168
01:04:21,240 --> 01:04:23,616
I dig the female species...
1169
01:04:23,640 --> 01:04:25,136
Smells sweeter than a honeysuckle.
1170
01:04:25,160 --> 01:04:27,959
Smarter than hell, firm as a biscuit.
1171
01:04:28,320 --> 01:04:29,231
Firm as a biscuit?
1172
01:04:29,520 --> 01:04:32,240
Biscuit, fresh out of the oven.
1173
01:04:32,560 --> 01:04:36,679
Oh, yeah. Butter melting.
1174
01:04:37,600 --> 01:04:39,956
You see my point.
Ah, yes, indeed.
1175
01:04:40,600 --> 01:04:45,496
The sun, the moon, and the stars, Leo.
That's what a good woman is to me.
1176
01:04:45,520 --> 01:04:51,994
♪ Hark the herald angels sing ♪
♪ Glory to the newborn king ♪
1177
01:04:52,560 --> 01:04:59,114
♪ Peace on Earth and mercy mild ♪
♪ God and sinners reconciled ♪
1178
01:05:02,560 --> 01:05:03,471
Go on.
1179
01:05:04,600 --> 01:05:05,496
What goes next?
1180
01:05:08,080 --> 01:05:08,991
With.
1181
01:05:09,960 --> 01:05:11,280
What is it? With...
1182
01:05:12,080 --> 01:05:13,560
Romantic joy proclaim?
1183
01:05:14,400 --> 01:05:15,516
Proclaim.
1184
01:05:15,960 --> 01:05:19,112
♪ Christ was born in Bethlehem ♪
1185
01:05:19,680 --> 01:05:22,718
♪ Hark! The herald angels sing ♪
1186
01:05:22,960 --> 01:05:27,671
♪ Glory to the newborn king ♪
1187
01:05:29,560 --> 01:05:32,394
You had a rifle and a scope
and you missed him?
1188
01:05:34,040 --> 01:05:36,656
Oh, Oscar,
just stop trying to kill him.
1189
01:05:36,680 --> 01:05:38,160
Just bring him to me and I'll do it.
1190
01:05:46,280 --> 01:05:48,715
Why am I not surprised
you're in witness protection
1191
01:05:48,840 --> 01:05:50,069
and somebody's trying to kill you?
1192
01:05:50,560 --> 01:05:52,756
Yep, that's him. Yeah.
The animal guy, right there.
1193
01:05:53,200 --> 01:05:56,193
Sheep. Camels.
Did they have a snake? Probably.
1194
01:05:57,280 --> 01:05:59,317
I thought he looked vaguely familiar.
1195
01:06:00,200 --> 01:06:01,395
Now I recognize him.
1196
01:06:01,960 --> 01:06:05,078
That's Oscar Bruno,
one of the mob boss's sons.
1197
01:06:05,840 --> 01:06:07,976
He could have
just knocked on your door and shot you.
1198
01:06:08,000 --> 01:06:10,196
Surveillance cameras.
He didn't wanna be ID'd.
1199
01:06:10,320 --> 01:06:12,789
No. He figured he could just come
and go with the animals.
1200
01:06:15,240 --> 01:06:17,038
Leo wants to turn me over to the Feds.
1201
01:06:18,240 --> 01:06:19,833
Oh, God! No, please.
1202
01:06:20,280 --> 01:06:23,910
Tell the police, and suddenly
the Villa Capri is crawling with cops!
1203
01:06:24,040 --> 01:06:27,176
I mean, can't you just, like,
track him down?
1204
01:06:27,200 --> 01:06:28,270
He's a bad guy. Just...
1205
01:06:28,960 --> 01:06:31,696
you know, snuff him out
like way off the radar.
1206
01:06:31,720 --> 01:06:34,280
I don't snuff people out,
off or on the radar.
1207
01:06:34,600 --> 01:06:36,114
Oh, God. I know.
1208
01:06:37,800 --> 01:06:40,156
Okay, guys, look, I... I have a confession.
1209
01:06:41,360 --> 01:06:44,776
The last couple times corporate sent me
to fix a problem,
1210
01:06:44,800 --> 01:06:47,759
something crazy happened.
Things got worse.
1211
01:06:48,880 --> 01:06:52,999
I'm starting to like this place,
but I'm on a short leash here.
1212
01:06:53,480 --> 01:06:55,790
If this gets public,
it could cost me my job.
1213
01:06:57,080 --> 01:06:59,696
Please... Leo...
1214
01:06:59,720 --> 01:07:01,552
And, he shot your damn truck.
1215
01:07:02,000 --> 01:07:04,196
Hmm.
He shot your truck?
1216
01:07:04,640 --> 01:07:08,111
You're both right.
We're goin' after this guy.
1217
01:07:08,680 --> 01:07:09,636
Yes!
1218
01:07:19,480 --> 01:07:20,856
What the hell is this about?
1219
01:07:20,880 --> 01:07:23,976
He knows my new truck,
but he doesn't know this shitty van.
1220
01:07:24,000 --> 01:07:26,231
Oh.
1221
01:07:26,760 --> 01:07:27,796
That's clever.
1222
01:07:28,440 --> 01:07:31,216
I think you and I could become
cherished friends, Leo.
1223
01:07:31,240 --> 01:07:32,151
Shut up.
1224
01:08:04,840 --> 01:08:06,240
Fit perfect in a golf bag.
1225
01:08:06,840 --> 01:08:07,751
Can I help you guys?
1226
01:08:08,680 --> 01:08:11,036
Can they get out?
Yep, every now and then.
1227
01:08:11,440 --> 01:08:12,635
You might wanna think
about a deeper trough.
1228
01:08:13,240 --> 01:08:15,357
Deeper trough. Yeah, good thinkin'.
1229
01:08:15,880 --> 01:08:17,314
Duke, what brings you out here?
1230
01:08:17,600 --> 01:08:19,990
Were, uh, lookin' for a guy.
1231
01:08:21,400 --> 01:08:23,471
Oscar. Strange fella.
1232
01:08:23,800 --> 01:08:24,696
Where is he now?
1233
01:08:24,720 --> 01:08:25,870
He quit yesterday.
1234
01:08:26,680 --> 01:08:30,376
Said he had found what
he was lookin' for and walked out.
1235
01:08:30,400 --> 01:08:31,311
Leave an address?
1236
01:08:31,560 --> 01:08:33,313
He lived in a motel, I think.
1237
01:08:33,880 --> 01:08:36,793
Motel...
You got any idea which motel?
1238
01:08:37,440 --> 01:08:40,336
Made it sound like the French Quarter.
French Quarter?
1239
01:08:40,360 --> 01:08:41,316
Something like that.
Got it.
1240
01:08:47,360 --> 01:08:49,079
Manager says he's still livin' here.
1241
01:08:49,800 --> 01:08:50,711
Unit 15.
1242
01:08:51,040 --> 01:08:53,714
So when he shows up, we jump him,
1243
01:08:54,000 --> 01:08:55,576
we hand him over to the Feds,
1244
01:08:55,600 --> 01:08:57,856
and he goes up the river forever, right?
1245
01:08:57,880 --> 01:09:00,076
No, no. We don't jump him.
What do you mean?
1246
01:09:00,320 --> 01:09:01,231
I do.
1247
01:09:03,360 --> 01:09:05,829
So just relax.
Yeah, okay...
1248
01:09:12,120 --> 01:09:14,077
Sixth grade was traumatic.
1249
01:09:14,960 --> 01:09:16,394
I ran for class president.
1250
01:09:17,920 --> 01:09:18,831
Lost.
1251
01:09:19,480 --> 01:09:23,776
I got one vote... my own.
1252
01:09:23,800 --> 01:09:27,510
In high school,
I tried bribing my classmates, but...
1253
01:09:28,160 --> 01:09:29,150
Crushed again.
1254
01:09:29,920 --> 01:09:30,876
Yeah.
1255
01:09:31,200 --> 01:09:33,237
Witness protection turned my life around.
1256
01:09:34,040 --> 01:09:36,555
You got a fresh start
on the back nine of life.
1257
01:09:37,200 --> 01:09:38,714
Reinvented myself.
1258
01:09:39,960 --> 01:09:41,917
Was goin' pretty good, if you ask me.
1259
01:09:42,800 --> 01:09:44,456
You like me a little, yes?
1260
01:09:44,480 --> 01:09:45,880
You need to be liked?
1261
01:09:46,640 --> 01:09:48,711
It may sound pathetic but,
1262
01:09:49,760 --> 01:09:51,194
I love to be adored.
1263
01:09:51,760 --> 01:09:52,671
You need therapy.
1264
01:09:53,760 --> 01:09:54,796
Never worked before.
1265
01:09:56,760 --> 01:09:58,513
Not until now with you.
1266
01:09:59,440 --> 01:10:01,238
Good. You're cured.
1267
01:10:03,440 --> 01:10:06,672
We should rotate naps
in case it turns into an all-nighter.
1268
01:10:07,240 --> 01:10:10,039
Yeah. Well, I'm wide awake
if you wanna take the first one.
1269
01:10:10,720 --> 01:10:12,234
I could nod off pretty quick.
1270
01:10:12,600 --> 01:10:13,511
Well...
1271
01:10:13,800 --> 01:10:17,191
Wake me in one hour
or if anybody shows up.
1272
01:10:25,840 --> 01:10:28,196
Would you like a song to help you sleep?
No.
1273
01:10:34,920 --> 01:10:39,597
♪ Silent night ♪
1274
01:10:40,760 --> 01:10:44,834
♪ Holy night ♪
1275
01:10:45,400 --> 01:10:46,311
I like that one.
1276
01:10:47,480 --> 01:10:52,236
♪ All is calm ♪
1277
01:10:53,160 --> 01:10:57,234
♪ All is bright ♪
1278
01:12:17,000 --> 01:12:18,753
Wake up, Sherlock.
Hm?
1279
01:12:19,160 --> 01:12:20,480
You were supposed to wake me up.
1280
01:12:21,960 --> 01:12:22,871
Sorry.
1281
01:12:23,480 --> 01:12:25,392
That song always leaves me out.
1282
01:12:30,600 --> 01:12:31,511
Can I help you?
1283
01:12:31,840 --> 01:12:33,991
Yeah, the guy in room 15,
what do you know about him?
1284
01:12:34,440 --> 01:12:36,536
A very nice man. Very polite.
1285
01:12:36,560 --> 01:12:37,471
Bullshit.
1286
01:12:37,760 --> 01:12:40,355
There is one thing.
He... loves naked ladies.
1287
01:12:41,040 --> 01:12:43,077
I saw him at last week's
Sunday brunch at Rudy's.
1288
01:12:43,400 --> 01:12:44,880
They have a Sunday brunch at a titty bar?
1289
01:12:45,760 --> 01:12:47,513
You gotta try the Belgian waffles there.
1290
01:12:51,320 --> 01:12:54,916
Okay. All right. Go do your business.
Go on, Romeo.
1291
01:12:55,120 --> 01:12:57,635
- That's a good boy! Good boy!
- Hey, Suzie?
1292
01:12:58,680 --> 01:12:59,576
Suzie?
1293
01:12:59,600 --> 01:13:01,536
Yeah?
It's corporate for you.
1294
01:13:01,560 --> 01:13:03,119
It's corporate?
1295
01:13:08,920 --> 01:13:09,910
Suzie Quince.
1296
01:13:11,280 --> 01:13:12,191
Yes!
1297
01:13:13,520 --> 01:13:14,954
No, no, no...
1298
01:13:15,240 --> 01:13:17,296
I... I'm getting a handle on things.
1299
01:13:17,320 --> 01:13:18,616
A firm grasp.
1300
01:13:22,520 --> 01:13:24,432
♪ Holy night ♪
1301
01:13:24,920 --> 01:13:27,896
No. I... there are protocols.
I'm following the protocols.
1302
01:13:27,920 --> 01:13:30,336
I'm a... I'm a walking protocol.
1303
01:13:34,840 --> 01:13:38,256
But people just seem to be so happy here,
1304
01:13:38,280 --> 01:13:42,616
and happiness is not a condition.
It's a choice.
1305
01:13:47,720 --> 01:13:50,056
Things are not out of control
at the Villa Capri.
1306
01:13:50,080 --> 01:13:51,196
It is magnificent here.
1307
01:13:55,480 --> 01:13:57,153
No, no, no! Stop! Come back!
1308
01:13:57,520 --> 01:14:01,136
Terminate me? You can't terminate me!
1309
01:14:01,160 --> 01:14:03,038
Come back with the nativity!
1310
01:14:03,240 --> 01:14:04,736
No, wait! Stop, get back in there!
1311
01:14:04,760 --> 01:14:06,080
Larry, get the camel!
1312
01:14:07,520 --> 01:14:08,431
You know what?
1313
01:14:08,920 --> 01:14:10,036
Hello?
1314
01:14:13,160 --> 01:14:14,071
Romeo?
1315
01:14:14,880 --> 01:14:16,109
Oh, Romeo?
1316
01:14:17,160 --> 01:14:19,896
Oh, my God! Romeo. Romeo!
1317
01:14:19,920 --> 01:14:23,896
Oh, no, no, no, no!
1318
01:14:23,920 --> 01:14:25,696
- Hey!
- Oh! Oh!
1319
01:14:25,720 --> 01:14:26,870
I got you!
1320
01:14:32,600 --> 01:14:33,896
You know, this isn't
a very efficient plan.
1321
01:14:33,920 --> 01:14:34,831
You shut up!
1322
01:14:35,120 --> 01:14:37,919
You shut up! I'm having
a worse day than you are.
1323
01:14:38,560 --> 01:14:42,349
You know, if I were to ever kidnap
someone for ransom,
1324
01:14:42,600 --> 01:14:45,399
I would have it more worked out,
more organized.
1325
01:14:45,960 --> 01:14:47,456
I mean, there would be some nice kibble,
1326
01:14:47,480 --> 01:14:48,656
and perhaps a chew toy.
1327
01:14:48,680 --> 01:14:49,936
I'm going to tell you why.
Chew toy?
1328
01:14:49,960 --> 01:14:52,056
Oh God! It's amateur hour around here.
1329
01:14:52,080 --> 01:14:52,991
Well, I'm sorry.
1330
01:14:59,320 --> 01:15:01,471
All right, all right. Enough about me.
1331
01:15:01,960 --> 01:15:04,896
I'm sure even a tough guy like you
1332
01:15:04,920 --> 01:15:07,536
has some insecurities
you'd like to talk about.
1333
01:15:07,560 --> 01:15:08,471
No.
1334
01:15:09,320 --> 01:15:11,856
Come on. You'll feel better.
1335
01:15:11,880 --> 01:15:13,314
Shut up! I feel fine.
1336
01:15:17,520 --> 01:15:18,896
They've got a nice gift shop.
Hey!
1337
01:15:18,920 --> 01:15:19,816
Really sweet.
1338
01:15:19,840 --> 01:15:21,216
Hey, there's the big dog!
1339
01:15:21,240 --> 01:15:22,216
Hey.
Hey, what's up?
1340
01:15:22,240 --> 01:15:23,496
We're lookin' for somebody.
Yeah?
1341
01:15:23,520 --> 01:15:26,831
Recognize this guy?
Doesn't look familiar, but, uh, you know,
1342
01:15:27,120 --> 01:15:28,998
a thousand other guys like that...
1343
01:15:32,640 --> 01:15:34,576
Your animal guy
is not very good at blowin' you up,
1344
01:15:34,600 --> 01:15:36,796
but he's gonna keep tryin'.
Maybe he'll get it right next time.
1345
01:15:37,280 --> 01:15:39,216
Hey, hey, hey!
Is that your car?
1346
01:15:39,240 --> 01:15:40,376
Yeah.
Give me the keys.
1347
01:15:40,400 --> 01:15:41,976
My new wheels? No!
I need your keys.
1348
01:15:42,000 --> 01:15:43,416
Who do you think you are?
Give me the keys!
1349
01:15:43,440 --> 01:15:44,656
Shit!
1350
01:15:55,320 --> 01:15:57,437
This is thrilling.
Thank you.
1351
01:15:58,400 --> 01:15:59,436
There he is.
Yep.
1352
01:16:01,400 --> 01:16:02,470
Goddamn, Leo!
1353
01:16:07,320 --> 01:16:09,880
Two old dinosaurs. Like us, huh, Leo?
1354
01:16:12,080 --> 01:16:13,514
You think that's funny?
Nope.
1355
01:16:21,720 --> 01:16:22,631
Hang on.
1356
01:16:25,920 --> 01:16:27,240
Oh shit! Oh shit!
1357
01:16:32,560 --> 01:16:34,153
I have a confession to make.
1358
01:16:35,160 --> 01:16:38,676
Well, for heaven's sake, man, let 'er rip.
1359
01:16:39,080 --> 01:16:40,639
I came here to buy the Villa Capri.
1360
01:16:43,160 --> 01:16:44,656
I thought you only bought big stuff.
1361
01:16:44,680 --> 01:16:46,478
That property is worth 50 million dollars.
1362
01:16:47,080 --> 01:16:50,576
Fifty... and Suzie's worried
about petty cash?
1363
01:16:50,600 --> 01:16:52,376
She's just doin' her job... Hang on!
1364
01:16:52,400 --> 01:16:53,311
Oh shit!
1365
01:16:54,280 --> 01:16:56,056
First, I was gonna bulldoze
the Villa Capri
1366
01:16:56,080 --> 01:16:57,856
and put in a western Mall of America.
1367
01:16:57,880 --> 01:17:00,056
Oh my God! That's sacrilege.
1368
01:17:00,080 --> 01:17:02,856
Don't worry. I changed my mind.
I'm startin' to like that place.
1369
01:17:11,120 --> 01:17:14,511
So, I mean, if it's worth all that
1370
01:17:14,880 --> 01:17:16,456
and it's partly because of me,
1371
01:17:16,480 --> 01:17:18,136
I think I should get a piece of the pie.
1372
01:17:18,160 --> 01:17:19,071
How much do you want?
1373
01:17:19,400 --> 01:17:21,496
Uh, eh, ten percent?
1374
01:17:21,520 --> 01:17:23,637
Suppose I let you keep
your fancy golf cart?
1375
01:17:24,320 --> 01:17:25,656
Wait a minute... They blew that thing up.
1376
01:17:25,680 --> 01:17:27,433
And you're welcome to have a piece of it.
1377
01:17:30,840 --> 01:17:32,957
Looks like Oscar
is through playing around.
1378
01:17:40,440 --> 01:17:42,336
Uh-oh!
This looks like a dead end.
1379
01:17:42,360 --> 01:17:44,576
Yeah. Road don't go anywhere.
1380
01:17:44,600 --> 01:17:45,716
Maybe we can box him in.
1381
01:17:46,040 --> 01:17:46,951
Well, it might be a trap.
1382
01:17:47,320 --> 01:17:48,216
So what?
1383
01:17:48,240 --> 01:17:49,435
They're after your ass, not mine.
1384
01:18:10,960 --> 01:18:11,856
That's not Oscar.
1385
01:18:11,880 --> 01:18:13,758
Well, let's go see who the hell it is.
1386
01:18:19,840 --> 01:18:21,513
- You know what you're doin'?
- Generally.
1387
01:18:22,080 --> 01:18:23,480
Stop right there!
1388
01:18:24,320 --> 01:18:26,136
No, no, no, no! Don't shoot, don't shoot.
1389
01:18:26,160 --> 01:18:27,071
Who are you?
1390
01:18:27,200 --> 01:18:30,034
Listen, some lunatic gave me $500
to torch your van
1391
01:18:30,680 --> 01:18:31,636
and to lead you down here.
1392
01:18:32,080 --> 01:18:32,991
Here?
1393
01:18:33,200 --> 01:18:34,111
Yeah.
1394
01:18:37,160 --> 01:18:38,389
Answer the phone.
1395
01:18:42,120 --> 01:18:43,031
Hello?
1396
01:18:45,800 --> 01:18:46,711
It's for you.
1397
01:18:51,760 --> 01:18:52,671
Leo McKay.
1398
01:18:53,040 --> 01:18:53,917
Look up.
1399
01:19:03,520 --> 01:19:04,510
You're lookin' for me?
1400
01:19:05,240 --> 01:19:06,151
What do you want?
1401
01:19:07,320 --> 01:19:08,231
I got your girl.
1402
01:19:08,840 --> 01:19:10,194
I wanna trade her for Duke.
1403
01:19:10,720 --> 01:19:11,995
That'll work.
What?
1404
01:19:12,960 --> 01:19:14,599
No, Leo. He'll shoot me in the head.
1405
01:19:14,840 --> 01:19:15,910
Yeah, well, there is that.
1406
01:19:16,360 --> 01:19:17,510
What do you want us to do?
1407
01:19:17,840 --> 01:19:20,878
I want you to sit tight and I'll send you
coordinates of where we'll meet up.
1408
01:19:22,120 --> 01:19:23,031
Leo?
1409
01:19:24,920 --> 01:19:27,936
You're not really gonna trade me
for her, are you?
1410
01:19:27,960 --> 01:19:30,496
She's a lot prettier
and I'd really like to make the trade,
1411
01:19:30,520 --> 01:19:33,696
but my essential sense
of human dignity and decency
1412
01:19:33,720 --> 01:19:34,631
will not permit it.
1413
01:19:35,600 --> 01:19:37,159
However, we need him to think I will.
1414
01:19:37,480 --> 01:19:41,576
Aw, I sure am glad you're you.
1415
01:19:46,800 --> 01:19:50,680
- Hey, can I put my hands down now?
- Shut up.
1416
01:20:01,400 --> 01:20:02,256
Where?
1417
01:20:02,280 --> 01:20:04,476
Utah Trail toward 29 Palms.
1418
01:20:05,040 --> 01:20:06,736
Turn off at the old water tower.
1419
01:20:06,760 --> 01:20:07,736
You know where that is?
1420
01:20:07,760 --> 01:20:08,656
Not a clue.
1421
01:20:08,680 --> 01:20:10,239
How the hell are we supposed to find that?
1422
01:20:10,600 --> 01:20:11,511
Waze.
1423
01:20:12,840 --> 01:20:13,751
God!
1424
01:20:14,720 --> 01:20:15,631
What the hell is that?
1425
01:20:16,080 --> 01:20:17,514
It's an app. You can download it.
1426
01:20:18,080 --> 01:20:18,991
Really?
1427
01:20:21,920 --> 01:20:23,877
Let's get started. Drive safe.
1428
01:20:25,480 --> 01:20:27,039
I have another confession to make.
1429
01:20:27,800 --> 01:20:28,677
Let 'er rip.
1430
01:20:29,520 --> 01:20:31,352
I was married for 33 years...
1431
01:20:32,000 --> 01:20:34,231
to the first woman I ever fell for.
1432
01:20:34,960 --> 01:20:36,656
She died about six years ago,
1433
01:20:36,680 --> 01:20:38,056
and it put me off my game.
1434
01:20:38,080 --> 01:20:41,056
After three or four years,
I felt I should see other women,
1435
01:20:41,080 --> 01:20:42,355
but it didn't feel right.
1436
01:20:44,240 --> 01:20:45,736
You wanna tell Duke about it?
1437
01:20:45,760 --> 01:20:50,336
There's something about Miss Quince
that just shook me out of my malaise.
1438
01:20:50,360 --> 01:20:52,352
She's gorgeous, of course, but she's...
1439
01:20:52,680 --> 01:20:54,016
There's nothin' frivolous about her.
1440
01:20:54,040 --> 01:20:57,078
She's a woman of...
substance and gravitas.
1441
01:20:57,800 --> 01:20:58,776
Gravitas.
1442
01:21:01,000 --> 01:21:03,356
Put me down, you jackass!
1443
01:21:03,720 --> 01:21:05,996
Where's my dog? Romeo!
1444
01:21:06,400 --> 01:21:07,675
Where's my dog?
1445
01:21:08,200 --> 01:21:10,556
Now doesn't all this sharing
make you feel better, huh?
1446
01:21:10,960 --> 01:21:12,896
I could fall in love with her.
1447
01:21:18,120 --> 01:21:21,192
In 0. 1 mile keep left.
1448
01:21:40,400 --> 01:21:42,357
You know, you're always the hero.
1449
01:21:43,200 --> 01:21:46,159
I think I'd like to be heroic sometime.
1450
01:21:52,480 --> 01:21:54,073
How heroic do you wanna be?
1451
01:21:55,040 --> 01:21:55,951
Hm?
1452
01:21:56,680 --> 01:21:57,591
Um...
1453
01:21:58,760 --> 01:21:59,671
Well...
1454
01:21:59,800 --> 01:22:01,837
Uh, you know, just...
1455
01:22:02,800 --> 01:22:04,439
Moderately. Just enough.
1456
01:22:05,080 --> 01:22:06,896
You wanna keep
your braggin' rights to the women.
1457
01:22:08,440 --> 01:22:10,159
You know me well. Yeah, huh?
1458
01:22:14,000 --> 01:22:16,816
You think that's an honorable reason
to wanna be heroic?
1459
01:22:16,840 --> 01:22:17,751
I do.
1460
01:22:23,000 --> 01:22:23,877
I got a plan.
1461
01:22:24,240 --> 01:22:27,736
You know, you remind me of my mother.
1462
01:22:27,760 --> 01:22:32,596
- That's so sweet.
- Yeah. All right.
1463
01:22:34,240 --> 01:22:35,151
All right.
1464
01:22:50,920 --> 01:22:52,149
This is where it begins.
1465
01:23:05,200 --> 01:23:06,554
You all right in there, Suzie?
1466
01:23:07,000 --> 01:23:09,993
Leo, I'm okay.
I am not armed.
1467
01:23:10,480 --> 01:23:12,597
I am here to give you what you want.
1468
01:23:13,800 --> 01:23:15,096
And to take what I want.
1469
01:23:15,120 --> 01:23:16,440
Hey, stand right there!
1470
01:23:17,560 --> 01:23:18,676
What you got under that hat?
1471
01:23:19,360 --> 01:23:20,416
A little hair.
1472
01:23:20,440 --> 01:23:23,478
Ha! You send me Willy.
1473
01:23:28,200 --> 01:23:30,396
We can work this out
to everybody's satisfaction.
1474
01:23:30,760 --> 01:23:33,150
Why don't you put the gun down
and we'll talk.
1475
01:23:46,400 --> 01:23:47,470
Give me Duke!
1476
01:23:48,400 --> 01:23:52,096
Damn! You shot my truck
and now you're tryin' to shoot my boots!
1477
01:23:52,120 --> 01:23:56,637
You give me Duke or Willy
or whatever he calls himself. Now!
1478
01:23:56,760 --> 01:23:58,956
You can have him.
I never liked him anyway.
1479
01:24:08,600 --> 01:24:09,511
Oh.
1480
01:24:10,080 --> 01:24:10,991
Ha!
1481
01:24:16,560 --> 01:24:17,710
Oh! That hurts!
1482
01:24:18,160 --> 01:24:20,755
He shot me!
1483
01:24:24,640 --> 01:24:26,472
Bye-bye.
1484
01:24:30,480 --> 01:24:32,631
Christmases seem to blur together.
1485
01:24:33,000 --> 01:24:34,878
You know? This one stands out.
1486
01:24:35,120 --> 01:24:36,376
It's startin' to feel special.
1487
01:24:38,000 --> 01:24:39,639
We're gonna have to call
the sheriff now.
1488
01:24:39,760 --> 01:24:43,096
I don't know about you guys,
but I sure could use a cocktail.
1489
01:24:43,120 --> 01:24:44,016
Here, here.
1490
01:24:55,480 --> 01:24:58,757
I'm starting to understand
the affection you have for this place,
1491
01:24:59,120 --> 01:25:00,110
whoever you are.
1492
01:25:00,840 --> 01:25:03,196
To you, Sweet Willy.
1493
01:25:03,600 --> 01:25:06,016
You did a brave thing today.
I didn't think you had it in you.
1494
01:25:06,040 --> 01:25:08,736
And you saved the day, cousin.
I ain't your cousin.
1495
01:25:08,760 --> 01:25:10,592
Well, but you like me a little, huh?
1496
01:25:13,520 --> 01:25:15,352
A little.
1497
01:25:16,680 --> 01:25:17,636
There goes Rudolph.
1498
01:25:18,320 --> 01:25:22,576
And there goes Snoopy.
1499
01:25:22,600 --> 01:25:23,590
Adios, Snoopy.
1500
01:25:30,360 --> 01:25:33,256
Hey! It's New Year's in New York.
Happy New Year, everybody!
1501
01:25:33,280 --> 01:25:34,634
Earlier to bed?
1502
01:25:35,080 --> 01:25:38,198
Uh, with any luck,
maybe two balls will drop tonight.
1503
01:25:38,760 --> 01:25:40,856
Girl, you are delusional.
1504
01:25:40,880 --> 01:25:44,016
Hey, I've never seen you guys
lookin' so sharp.
1505
01:25:44,040 --> 01:25:47,954
Or you so beautiful.
To the ladies and ladies.
1506
01:25:50,560 --> 01:25:55,176
Arturo, Miss Quince, I think you know my
cronies and their lovely ladies.
1507
01:25:55,200 --> 01:25:57,456
Of course I do. Happy New Year.
Happy New Year.
1508
01:25:57,480 --> 01:25:59,216
Happy New Year.
1509
01:25:59,240 --> 01:26:00,176
Happy New Year!
1510
01:26:00,200 --> 01:26:02,576
I think it's about midnight
in Times Square.
1511
01:26:02,600 --> 01:26:03,511
Oh, yeah!
1512
01:26:05,560 --> 01:26:07,631
Nine o'clock in California
is good enough for me.
1513
01:26:09,080 --> 01:26:11,936
At the end of the day, I have to admit,
I have a soft spot for Duke.
1514
01:26:11,960 --> 01:26:14,376
Wherever they're relocating him,
do you think he's going to be okay?
1515
01:26:14,400 --> 01:26:18,496
My dear, the Duke will always be okay.
1516
01:26:18,520 --> 01:26:19,416
Yeah.
1517
01:26:19,440 --> 01:26:20,556
Strike up the band, boys.
1518
01:26:21,960 --> 01:26:25,351
♪ May old acquaintance be forgot ♪
1519
01:26:25,600 --> 01:26:26,936
Ladies and gentlemen of the
1520
01:26:26,960 --> 01:26:29,191
Tropical Resort Retirement Community,
1521
01:26:29,600 --> 01:26:31,751
say hello to your new resident manager,
1522
01:26:32,520 --> 01:26:34,296
Mr. Marvel Bigelow.
1523
01:26:34,320 --> 01:26:35,456
Music!
1524
01:27:19,200 --> 01:27:23,479
♪ Christmas ♪
1525
01:27:24,680 --> 01:27:29,436
♪ Is a very special time of the year ♪
1526
01:27:31,240 --> 01:27:35,792
♪ It's a precious time ♪
♪ And I'm waiting here ♪
1527
01:27:36,800 --> 01:27:42,114
♪ Can't wait to get close to you ♪
1528
01:27:46,320 --> 01:27:50,075
♪ Christmas ♪
1529
01:27:51,240 --> 01:27:57,111
♪ Is a house adorned ♪
♪ With tinsel and lights ♪
1530
01:27:58,160 --> 01:28:02,757
♪ It's a cozy fire and long quiet night ♪
1531
01:28:03,720 --> 01:28:09,159
♪ That let me get close to you ♪
1532
01:28:12,560 --> 01:28:16,600
♪ No one else, dear, will do ♪
1533
01:28:17,080 --> 01:28:20,176
♪ Darling you, only you ♪
1534
01:28:20,200 --> 01:28:25,116
♪ Make my holiday list ♪
1535
01:28:26,240 --> 01:28:30,016
♪ I can't wait till we've kissed ♪
1536
01:28:30,040 --> 01:28:33,016
♪ And then everything that follows ♪
1537
01:28:33,040 --> 01:28:36,336
♪ Makes my year every December ♪
1538
01:28:36,360 --> 01:28:40,776
♪ Don't forget to remember ♪
1539
01:28:40,800 --> 01:28:44,430
♪ That Christmas ♪
1540
01:28:45,520 --> 01:28:50,549
♪ Is two lovers strolling home ♪
♪ In the snow ♪
1541
01:28:51,760 --> 01:28:56,277
♪ And then warming up ♪
♪ The best way they know ♪
1542
01:28:57,680 --> 01:29:04,678
♪ Oh, let me get close to you ♪
1543
01:29:06,800 --> 01:29:10,396
♪ 'Cause you're all I want for Christmas ♪
1544
01:29:12,280 --> 01:29:17,833
♪ And Christmas is here ♪
1544
01:29:18,305 --> 01:29:24,340
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