Original subtitles

Ah, friends, you remember our Jane.

Accidentally artificially inseminated.

Torn between Rafael, her baby's father, and Michael, her fiancé.

And she chose Michael.

I always recommend couples write a letter to each other

before the wedding to read later when times get tougher.

Whoa. Oh, look at this. It's like the best hiding spot ever.

And then, the worst thing happened.

And Michael died. And nearly four years later,

Jane was finally open to love again, with one difference.

Not really feeling as full of "meant to be" these days.

Maybe re-read Michael's letter.

And so, she ran to their old apartment,

and, yeah, it wasn't there.

But still, all was not lost on the love front.

See? Jane's parents were finally getting married,

- despite a little hiccup. - It's your dad's.

Oh, and speaking of baby mamas,

Rafael and Petra got back together,

but Petra pulled away, because she thought

there was still something between Rafael and Jane.

And here's a secret, friends: Jane did have feelings

for Rafael, but before I get there,

Rafael's sister Luisa had a powwow with Petra's sister Anezka,

which didn't turn out great for Rafael.

Everything is mine.

And back to Jane's feelings.

She was on her way to tell Rafael when...

Jane. A couple from your old apartment

got in touch with the tenant from before them.

Something about a floorboard?

Which brought her back to her first love.

- Jane. - Adam?

Oh, and one last thing, friends.

Remember Jane's adorable son?

Well, he's still adorable, but now he looks like this:

What can I say?

In novellas, you must be prepared for change after all.

When Adam Eduardo Alvaro

was 25 years old, he found a love letter in a floorboard

that altered the course of his life.

It wasn't even written to him.

It was written to someone named Jane.

But, oh, how it spoke to him,

in terms of what love should feel like.

And so he finally broke up with Heather,

even though he tattooed her name on his arm.

And he kept the letter in his wallet

because, well, you know Adam.

He did those kinds of things.

- _ - But imagine his surprise

when he found out that Jane was his Jane.

Wait, what was her last name?

Villanueva. Jane Villanueva.

Yes, friends, that Jane,

as in the girl he'd almost married when he was 19.

So, can you blame him for thinking that was a sign?

And, you know, our Adam loved signs.

_

Friends, hello. I'm so sorry.

I don't know what happened.

I'm introducing Adam.

Shh. Not yet.

Ah, let's begin again, shall we?

When Jane saw Adam again after eight years,

he had brought Michael's letter.

Plus, cranes were flying.

So, can you blame Jane for believing this was meant to be?

- Or Adam? - But this is about Jane.

- There were fewer cranes, honestly. - I don't care.

_

Synced and corrected by BLuk www.addic7ed.com

I can't believe you lived in that apartment.

And that the tenants called you. I thought they thought I was crazy.

Oh, yeah, they definitely thought that you were crazy.

So, I guess we found our way back after all.

Friends, I'm so sorry again.

This is confusing.

The problem is, I didn't start from the beginning

because I was thrown.

All right, last time.

As you know, Jane Gloriana Villanueva,

grew up dreaming about telenovela love.

But she didn't think it could happen to her

until she was 19 years old.

His name is Adam and he's kind of artistic.

And once our Jane fell...

well, she fell fast.

- So... - Very fast.

Adam just got into NYU's Studio Art program.

It's so prestigious.

He didn't think he was gonna get in, but I knew he would

'cause he's so talented.

- Keep going, babe. - Sorry, babe. Right.

Anyway, uh, he asked me to go with him, and I started going on

about how it's not practical, and I couldn't afford it,

and I wasn't gonna live with somebody that I wasn't married to,

and that's when I saw he was down on one knee. We're engaged!

- What the hell are you talking about? - _

- Mom, Abuela, wait. - No, you are way too young.

- I am over 18. - _

Okay, hold up. You can't talk to my fiancé that way.

_

_

Abuela, enough.

I'm getting married next week and you are going to be there

because you are family and family shows up.

And for the record, they did show up.

Unfortunately...

And I just think that everyone's right.

We're not ready.

And I know you don't want to live together...

...moving to a new city.

...too hard.

...um, clean break, just...

But...

I love you.

I love you, too, so much.

I don't know. Who knows?

Maybe we'll make our way back to each other.

And friends, Jane knew

it couldn't end this way. Remember, this was true love.

- Telenovela love. - Babe.

You got to let go of the bike.

And yet, it did end that way.

Until, of course, now.

I'd love to catch up,

but you probably have somewhere to be

in that giant purple dress.

It's lavender.

Oh.

- Sorry. - And the wedding's over.

Let's catch up.

- So, who got married? - My mom to my dad.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, back up.

- You found your pops? - Mm-hmm.

Which brings us to her pops...

...who had, indeed, married her mom...

- What? - Darci just announced the pregnancy.

...after discovering he was going to be a pops again.

_

She's making it seem like I turned my back on my child.

_

No!

Do not escalate the situation.

You have an ironclad custody contract.

Isn't that what your lawyer said?

Yes, he did.

_

Ah, ah, ah, ah.

You will be at the next sonogram

because you have legal rights.

Now, let's turn off our phones because we just got married

and tonight's about us.

- I love you, Mrs. de la Vega. - I love you, too, Mr. de la Vega.

_

- Babe Adam? - _

Who is Babe Adam?

- A comic book artist. - Hmm.

Or graphic novels if I'm trying to impress you,

which-which I am, so let's go with that.

I'm impressed.

You're actually making a living as an artist.

"Making a living" in a loose definition.

So, are you a teacher, per the whole ten-year life plan?

Nope. I actually decided that I wanted to be...

A crazy person, both of you. You can't spy on them.

Keep your voice down.

The babysitter said Mateo just got to sleep.

Seriously. I mean, how bad could this guy be?

_

- "Heathen." - Covering an ex's name.

You must've had a lot of exes.

No.

No, these, um, they mark

mostly important moments in my life, you know?

- Oh wait, are you still into astrology? - Oh yeah.

Seriously? A bad boy into astrology?

It has to do with his sister

who died of cancer. Dick.

- So, how's the family? Abuela? - Great. So supportive.

_

Well, it's definitely him.

Who cares? Jane has a good head on her shoulders.

_

_

That smile, though.

I'm sorry, what were we talking about?

I was asking about your original comic,

or graphic novel because I'm impressed.

Right. I know the story. I've drawn it.

I just need the words now.

After you've drawn it?

Yeah, for me...

the words are the extra part.

What? No.

Words are everything.

They're how you get to know a character.

Well, no, that's through their actions.

How they feel, what they want.

You don't know what I want?

Oh, my God, she's taking off her dress.

I think they're going skinny-dipping.

- Now?! - _

_

- Oh, Jane can take care of herself. - Xiomara!

Don't worry. I'll save Mommy.

No, no!

Matelio!

Matelio! Matelio!

Impressive.

You would not skinny-dip at 19.

I told you I've changed.

I guess we found our way back to each other.

Don't worry, Mommy!

I'm here to save you!

- Mommy, Mommy, don't you worry! - Sorry!

Matelio! Matelio!

Oh, Matelio. Oh.

And, friends,

maybe Adam should've run then and there...

- But he didn't. - Adam! The tide went out.

So, yes, Adam came home soaking wet.

Thankfully, his roommates were away.

Ugh, you again? Sorry about that.

...crazy that you were spying on me in the first place!

- I know, and I'm really sorry. - _

_

Having fun.

Sweetie, I love that, but I'm just a little confused,

because two hours ago, you were about to tell Rafael

that you had feelings for him.

- _ - You want to be with Rafael?!

- Shh. - I didn't say that.

- ROGELIO Well this is a lot to take in. - _

- I mean, I'm not sure how I feel. - _

No! Case not closed. Case none of your business. Got it?

_

I guess she don't got it.

_

Shh. Right here.

- Ooh, la-la! - I know, right?

But did he hear about her feelings?

Not sure. Be quiet.

- What are you doing here? - Oh, Luisa kicked me

out of the hotel and froze all my money, and I can't find my phone.

- Hey, buddy. - Guess what?

Mommy went swimming naked in the ocean,

and Bisa and I saved her from stranger danger.

- Okay. Can you put him to bed? - Mm-hmm.

So, what happened with Luisa?

She found out that I lied about my cancer relapse.

What-what feelings?

Just...

romantic ones.

Well, but I-I didn't know where they were coming from,

or what they meant, which is why I didn't say anything.

Maybe I was just jealous that you were dating Petra.

Oh my God. Petra, she said

that you had feelings for me, but I called her delusional.

I need to, I need to apologize. Can I, can I use your phone?

Yes, of course.

Jane, wait.

♪ ♪

You have a text.

_

Ah, yes, speaking of Adam...

- _ - No worries.

I'm gonna make the deadline.

Yeah, I'm drawing the big fight scene right now.

Yup. He's pretty whipped.

I just hope she's worth it.

Trust me, Jane is a very special person!

Mateo, this is the last time I'm saying it.

Put your shoes on!

What is it? What's the matter?

_

No, that's just a rich person thing.

He doesn't realize that we have one bathroom and water bills.

Mm-hmm.

_

I don't want to discuss it.

_

_

We spoke briefly, but then he had to call Petra back

and apologize for not trusting her.

And she won't even call him back because of me.

_

Huh? Oh, honestly, the whole thing's a mess. Hang on.

Shoot. That was Mateo's dojo.

Rafael's credit card is on autopay, and it was denied.

Guess we are taking a break from karate.

I don't want to take a break from karate.

Well, we're gonna have to, Mr. Sweetface.

It costs a lot of money and right now we want to save. Shoes on.

Just tell Daddy to go to the bank and get some more.

- Mateo, I don't like your attitude. - I'm going.

- No, you're not. - Am, too! Am, too!

You stop that! You stop that right this minute!

- No! - Hey, what's going on?

- Mommy said we have no money. - Wait, what?

- No, I did not say that. - Yes, you did.

You said that's why we can't go to karate.

Okay, hey, calm down, all right?

There is plenty of money.

Okay? Go get ready.

I obviously didn't say that. And clearly, he's way too spoiled.

I just don't think we should be talking to him about money.

Period. He's way too young.

Hello?

This is Jane Villanueva.

Oh, my God.

Which brings us to...

I'm sorry, who is this rando?

Petra, I think.

What do you mean, "you think"?

Look, it's a long story, but she's a twin

and they often do this thing where they switch places.

How important can she be

if you're not even sure who she is?

Petra, thank God.

See? It's Petra. Now, shh.

Are you okay?

Well, Anezka lured me out to the dock last night

and tried to kill me, but, yeah, other than that, I'm perfect.

Wait, I don't understand. Lured you how?

She stole your phone and texted me.

_

_

_

Thought there was a business emergency.

And when I got out there, she had a gun.

Okay, well, she's not gonna check that.

She's a ding-dong.

Now pay attention. This is important.

_

No!

There was blood everywhere and the current was so strong.

- Mrs. Solano? - Yes?

We've got boats heading out to see if we can find your sister,

but it doesn't look good.

Let's just hope she's dead.

Wow, this lady is a real charmer.

Back to Adam...

No, not yet.

Can I borrow your phone to check my messages?

- Oh, of course. - Thank you.

And I just wanted to talk to you,

but not over a voice mail, obviously. Call me.

Oh, let me just turn off the Bluetooth.

Hey, Petra, it's Jane.

Raf said you haven't called back and I know you're mad.

- Shoot. Let me... - ...and you should be,

but not at him. It's my fault completely.

I denied that I had feelings for Rafael and you were right, I did.

And maybe it was just jealousy or lust or...

Well, you can just listen to that later.

I'm sorry, I was just trying to make it better.

You don't have to make it better.

- I just thought that I could help. - I don't need either of you to help.

- I'm so sick of this whole thing. - There's no thing.

No, no thing. Nothing at all.

I actually have a date tonight.

So, you're telling me you're 100% over Rafael?

Well...

100% is a big number.

Uh, but I don't want to be with him

and he doesn't want to be with me, Petra. He wants to be with you.

- Oh. - Jane.

We all know deep down he'll always still have feelings for you.

- Petra. - Or maybe you don't.

You know what? Who cares?

The point is, my feelings clicked off

the moment you believed her over me.

Now can we go home?

Petra! Finally! I've been looking for you.

Whoa, who's the lady with the crazy eyes?

Rafael's sister, Luisa.

Well, here I am. How can I help you?

The voice is great.

Just the right level of holier-than-thou.

Just clean yourself up. Petra wouldn't wear sweats.

- Well, I-I was about to change. - Good. Is it done?

Is Petra in the storage locker?

Oh, my God, quick, Petra, do the accent.

Yes. Of course.

Petra is in the storage locker,

just like we planned.

Everyone is the hero in their own story.

And Rafael's story?

Well, for the longest time, it had to do with Jane.

Wait, what's with the slow-motion push?

Is what's-her-face, right?

Does he actually still love her?

- Shh! - Please be Adam.

It's Petra, for you.

Ugh.

So, we have a problem.

Your sister was going to put me in a storage unit.

- It's not the worst idea. - What?

Just long enough for Anezka to impersonate me

and sign the papers to sell the Marbella.

But, here's the thing.

She thinks I'm Anezka.

So, I had an idea.

Okay, fine. What's your idea?

But if it's hiring someone to put this together,

the answer is no.

Fine. We'll soldier on then.

You know, you do look very manly holding that hammer.

Oh, yeah?

- Mm-hmm. - You like that?

- Darci's going live on Instagram. - Maybe don't...

Hi, Factor fans. It's Darci and boo-boo.

We are coming to you live from Dr. Ghazali's

where I'm about to see my sweet girl's face

for the first time in 3D.

She knows I'm supposed to be there.

Ro, stop.

Don't do anything rash, okay?

Just call your lawyer and let him know what's going on.

You're right.

Fine. I'll do that.

Maybe I'll just take a walk first, just to cool off a little bit.

Look how much money I got, Mommy!

What? Where did you get this from?

My friends. I just told them we were poor and they wanted to help.

I'll be right beack.

Mrs. Taub?

Hi there.

Mrs. Conway. Hello to you, too.

Just wanted to return some money.

Apparently, Mateo was running around saying that we're poor

and his friends wanted to help.

Why would he say that?

Um, honestly,

there-there are some financial struggles at home.

I guess he picked up on it.

I'll e-mail the parents.

And if you're not going to come back, you should let us know.

- Hmm? - The financial trouble.

Tuition is due in full by the end of the summer

and we do have a long waiting list.

Let me get back to you.

There's no way we're going back to that school.

Honestly, that was the last straw.

There's no concern, no empathy, just, "Do you have the money or not?"

Forget that it was offensive.

But that is just not the environment I want Mateo to be in.

I say we take this opportunity and make a change. And just...

Jane, can we just talk about this later?

I have a lot on my mind right now.

Oh, of course. I'm sorry.

Of course. Okay. Bye.

Everything okay with you two?

Oh, yeah. He's just stressed. All good.

Trying to get back to normal. And I have a date tonight with Adam.

Ah, yes, speaking of the dashing Adam...

And a dash of Adam is all you get.

And you're 100% sure that's all you want with Rafael, friendship?

Why is everybody obsessed with 100%?

I mean, who's 100% sure about anything?

Look, I told him that I thought I had feelings for him,

but it was probably just because I was jealous.

- And he didn't respond. - How romantic.

- Ma. - Why are you hedging everything?

Because there is so much at stake.

We're co-parents and whatever we do affects so many people.

And it's not like he's made any moves.

Maybe you're not paying attention to the cues.

Why is your dad going live on Instagram?

And since I am the loving father of this child,

I have very clear rights.

I am here at the sonogram.

And, Darci, I demand to be a part of this experience.

Wow, Dad just put Darci's vagina on Instagram.

I can't believe you broadcast my cervix to the entire world.

It was an accident. And it wasn't the whole world.

Only 3 million people watch my feed.

Oh, well, 4.5 million.

Wow. You're getting a lot of likes.

Why are you laughing?

Because this went better than I could've imagined.

I knew eventually you would do something stupid

and violate the terms of our contract.

Did you read the fine print?

It protects my "reasonable expectation" of privacy.

I figured my lawyers would have to build a case slowly,

but revenge porn?

You've outdone yourself.

You were baiting me?

My cervix all over the Internet is a small price to pay

for a lifetime of not having you in our child's life.

_

_

_

_

_

_

Oh, wow.

I just have, I have that thing tonight, that date.

Right.

Stranger danger guy.

You know, let's-let's just talk later.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

You know, just, um, enjoy your night.

Oh, boy, Mommy looks beautiful.

Yeah. She really does.

Man, maybe she should cancel the date with Adam.

Oh, my God.

You have no idea what Adam has planned.

Which brings us here,

to the roof of his loft, a perfect date spot.

Go, Adam.

I thought we could eat outside. I cooked.

You cook?

Uh, well, grilled cheese.

One third white cheddar, one third yellow cheddar,

one third American. Right?

Mmm.

Come on, I wasn't gonna mess this up.

Oh, my 19-year-old self is freaking out right now.

- Yeah? - Mm-hmm.

And, uh, what about your 28-year-old self?

Well, she's taking everything in, playing it cool.

- Ah. - Mm-hmm.

Well, allow me to show you my inflatable living room.

Oh.

Do you still play guitar?

Oh, no. No, that's my roommate's.

And I'm-I'm so sorry for making you listen to me back then.

It's been brought to my attention that I suck.

Well, I loved that one song you wrote. Do you remember it?

28-year-old Jane is making me work.

Hmm.

Oh, my God, he wrote her love cue?

That's his love cue.

Wait, where are we going?

Ugh, are you serious? You're interrupting the date

for what's-her-face walking through a hallway with papers?

Please, tell me you have some good news.

We got an offer for the hotel.

Wait, what? They're working together?

It's Petra playing Anezka playing Petra.

I told you they do this.

Now, it's 30 million less than we wanted, but it's an all-cash offer.

I had Krishna investigate company and cash is real.

Here is offer.

30 million under is a big discount.

But you say you want all cash.

Why? If you don't mind me asking you?

- Had some expenses that came up. - Oh.

Expenses? Like what?

Will you slow your roll?

I was about to flash back to...

...Luisa and her lover, the recently jailed crime lord known as Sin Rostro.

By the way, if I ever get caught,

I need you to deposit $100 million into my account here in the Caymans.

- That'll initiate my escape protocol. - Mm.

Wow, I like these two.

They seem straight out of a comic book, which brings us back to...

Oh, yeah. I totally see it.

Really "yeah"?

Or "yeah" like you used to say when you couldn't see anything?

I can't see anything.

Okay,

we're gonna make this happen tonight, okay?

Just watch my finger.

You follow the curve of the Big Dipper.

Takes you down to Arcturus,

and that takes you right to Spica.

There's Virgo.

Yeah. Okay.

I think.

That is not good enough.

I want 100%.

- Oh, geez. - Bad choice of words.

Okay, let's try this. What's the brightest star you see in the sky?

- That one. - Yes. That's Spica.

That's-that's the brightest star in the Virgo constellation

that you are now most definitely looking at.

See? Adam's got this.

The stars are aligning for these two.

Wait, why are you being so quiet?

You always have something to say.

Well, the stars are definitely aligning.

- But... - _

Oh, come on. You've got to be kidding me.

Ah, yes, where were we?

Ah, stop. You know exactly where we were.

You okay?

Uh-oh.

Sorry. It's-it's not you.

Obviously. Adam's amazing.

I just... right before I saw you,

I was on my way to tell my son's father

- that I had feelings for him. - Oh.

And now, I'm not 100% sure

how he feels...

or how I feel.

Well, you should take care of that.

I'm really sorry.

You should be.

It's all good.

No, not all good. You are making a huge mistake.

_

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_

_

_

_

Yes! I found it!

- _ - I found it!

Okay. What's going on, Rogelio?

I asked our editor to send me all of the raw footage

of the De La Vega Factor Factor, and I've been combing through it,

and look what I found.

Hey, Darci, they're asking for you. Darci?

This is just footage of an adorable puppy. I don't understand...

Oh, my God! Darci punched that puppy in the face!

- I know. - _

In her defense, she was trying to punch the P.A.,

but America is not going to know that. I sent the video to Darci.

Either she abides by our baby contract

or this goes directly to TMZ. Darci Factor: Puppy Puncher.

Oh, here's her reply.

She will honor the contract and she hates me!

Yes!

- What? - Nothing.

Good.

I-I was just thinking how Jane is being so careful with Rafael

because he's Mateo's dad, you know?

Your point?

That puppy puncher, she's your baby's mom.

Which brings us back to our careful Jane.

_

_

_

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_

_

_

And, friends, it's safe to say tonight, a line will be crossed.

_

And maybe it was the picture,

or the wine, or just the fact that she was tired

of being so damn careful...

Actually, who am I kidding? It was mostly the wine.

But the point is, Jane thought about how Adam was right.

Less talking, more action.

♪ ♪

- Hey. I'm home. - Hey. Hi.

So, uh...

I know you wanted to talk...

Yes. About Mateo's school and his trust fund.

Oh. Right. Okay. What about it?

Well, I paid next year's tuition with his trust fund.

I just told you that I wanted to leave that school.

Because they made you feel bad about not being able to pay tuition

so I solved that.

But the whole point was that I didn't want Mateo going back there.

And long term, things are gonna have to change.

They won't, though, 'cause I'm making a play to get the hotel back

right out from under Luisa. And the way that I'm gonna do that

is also with money from Mateo's trust fund.

Well, that explains the nerves.

- What? - Petra and I are borrowing

from all three kids' trust funds

to put together an all-cash offer to buy Luisa's shares.

What are you doing?

Fine. I was gonna get in the shower, but I changed my mind.

Ooh, how can you take money from Mateo's trust fund?

Don't you have to consult with me?

- That's not how it works. - Well, it should.

And what school Mateo goes to, that does need a consult.

I was just trying to get things back to the way they were.

And why were you trying to get in the shower with me?

Oh, my God. You have been sending me all these mixed signals.

- What mixed signals? - Who... leaves out a glass of wine

with a Post-it saying, "I'm in the shower"?

Someone who wants you to relax after a bad date,

and to also know that he was in the shower.

Well, you should have written that on the Post-it.

- Plus, you left the bathroom door open. - 'Cause your grandma

told me the room gets moldy when the water runs too long.

Eh, she only said that so you wouldn't take such long showers.

And you said that you were glad that my date with Adam didn't go well.

Because Alba's been complaining that this guy's a loser.

I just thought...

What? That the world revolves around you?

- Well, it doesn't. - What is that supposed to mean?

I had this great thing with Petra, and you ruined it.

Are you kidding? I didn't ruin it.

You did, by not believing the woman that you were dating.

So stop twisting everything!

- Everything? - Yes! You knew I didn't want Mateo

to go to that school next year. You know I don't like those people.

You mean people like me?

I mean people who care only about money,

who look down on you if you don't have it.

Oh, my God! I am done feeling guilty 'cause I don't want Mateo

to have some small life where he counts pennies

and doesn't get on a plane till he's 20 years old!

You know, if Mateo grew up to say something like that,

I would feel like I failed as a parent.

I did say they'd cross a line.

Friends, last night there was a terrible fight.

Only because you led me to believe Rafael was

into Jane, with all the misleading push-ins and the long glances.

I was talking about Jane and Rafael's fight.

And for the last time, I'm shaping the story.

I'm actually... glad that we fought, because now I know

how totally and completely wrong we are for each other.

And can you believe that he's in the shower again?

Who showers this much? I mean,

he's gonna be the cleanest homeless man in all of Miami.

Whatever. He'll be out of here soon.

Delivery for Rafael Solano.

Uh... what is it?

All of his belongings, courtesy of Luisa Alver.

What the hell?

Your stuff.

Oh, my God. I am so sorry.

Look, this will all be dealt with later... today.

Which brings us to...

Luisa wants to meet Anezka in an hour to sign the paperwork.

- Tell me there's not a problem. - I'm not here because of the Marbella.

Got my iPad back.

And my phone texts were backed up.

_

_

Anezka didn't lure you to the dock with a business emergency.

Which means that your feelings didn't just shut off

when I believed Jane over you, which leads me to believe, or...

hope...

maybe that...

there's still a chance for you and me.

I don't know, I mean...

W-We don't work together.

But things will be different now... we'll...

communicate.

And I'll listen and trust you. Because you were right.

I was all caught up in Jane's...

Story.

...stuff, but I'm not anymore.

And I can tell you, 100%,

that I-I don't want to be with Jane.

I want to be with you.

♪ ♪

I'll call you after I get our hotel back.

See? Everyone's a hero.

Your dad's sorry he couldn't come over,

but he's embarking on an act of heroism

for the sake of his unborn daughter.

His words, obviously.

_

He went to see Darci, and he's gonna try and make peace.

- Ah. - Well, I think that's great.

I know. Isn't it?

- Mm-hmm. - I'm really so happy.

Ma?

I'm sorry...

I... I think I just...

never want to be sad around Rogelio,

you know, because...

he's having a baby.

And that's a beautiful thing.

He's not here.

What's going on?

It just sucks, you know?

Because I'm supposed to be in Honolulu right now,

sucking down mai tais and having honeymoon sex,

not chasing after sonograms and getting into Twitter wars.

Yeah, that totally sucks.

- Right? - Sí­.

I guess I just want to feel a little sorry for myself.

That's totally okay. I feel sorry for you.

Well, thanks. And I feel sorry for you, too.

- Really? - Yeah. I mean,

the whole shower thing?

Oh. Right, that, too.

I thought you meant because I re-met my first love

in the most magical way, and he said all the things

my 19-year-old self just always hoped he would,

and I screwed it all up.

Aw.

When you put it that way...

_

_

_

- We can't. - _

_

- Mm-hmm. - _

_

- So you've said. - _

_

_

- What?! - _

I called him, too.

- Oh, my God! - _

I'm sorry, but there was no way you were getting married.

_

Uh-huh.

_

- _ - Hmm.

And speaking of reaching out...

First of all, you know I meant to punch the P.A., not the puppy.

And what are you doing here? I already said I'd honor the contract.

I know, I know.

But I want you to want to honor the contract.

What the hell are you talking about?

Our relationship, Darci. You're the mother of my child.

I want us to get along.

So I promise, I will never insult you again.

Oh, yeah?

Well, I don't think you're handsome.

Well, you're entitled to your opinion.

You're a horrible actor.

Well, art is very s-subjective.

You are the worst lover I have ever had.

Then I hope you find someone who can fulfill your every desire.

- Is this some sick game? - No, no. I promise.

Okay, Darci, I know you're upset,

but you don't have to do all this.

I think... I'm in labor!

Oh!

- A baby sister? - Even better.

Hey.

I-I got your text.

So, did you clear things out with the other guy?

Yeah, I did.

Good.

Um...

You want to get some coffee sometime?

I'd really like that.

And, friends, that's how Adam

got back together with Jane.

_

What are you doing?

This is how we end things.

Well, we still have stuff to do.

And he's part of our story now.

Ugh. Let me guess...

more blondie signing papers?

Yes. And thank you for that transition.

So, I forged Petra's signature.

Now you sign and hotel is sold.

Perfect.

Hmm. And...

just to clarify...

you are Anezka, right?

Yes.

Then who's this?

Hello, beautiful sister.

Hello, ugly mister.

Does anyone besides you know him?

No. Just me.

And I'll take the secret to my grave.

Hmm. Yes, you will.

Step back.

Just add another 70 years to my life sentence.

Now, that's how we end things.

_

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